The Silent Treatment

How is the silent treatment different than ghosting? Is the silent treatment done in person only?

If it's done over a rectifiable situation that only requires communication to fix then, yes, that's emotional immaturity. Sometimes, though, when someone is stuck in a situation where they've been treated like crap but can't get out of it and they have no power to change the circumstances (like a work situation), then I think the silent treatment is fine as long as any actually work-related communication is kept short and professional. There is no requirement to engage in small talk or banter or give anything other than simple, few word answers in that situation, at least until you can remove yourself from it.

I'm thinking less of ghosting and more of the silent treatment within the context of a relationship, r1 -- friendship, familial, or romantic.

Ohhhhhh! "The Silent Treatment"

This is my favorite game! Nobody freezes harder or faster than !!

I think the silent treatment is okay short-term in those kinds of relationships, R2, but usually only when it's needed to get the idea that there's a problem through the thick skull of a narcissist or egomaniac. They don't listen anyway but they sure seem to pay attention when they think they've lost your attention. When you stop responding to them, they get it.

Good observation, r4

It’s a no-win. Tell them why you’re upset, then leave the door open for communication but state your boundaries, Mary.

Only way to deal with a psychopath. Do not engage.

[crickets]

I tell the person that I don't know what he/she is upset about and I won't know if he/she won't talk to me. I continue to talk to them but after anything I say, I pause and wait for a reply. If I don't get one, I finish with "...or are you still not talking to me?" One could argue that that's just a different kind of passive-agressiveness but at least I make it clear that I'm open to communication. It works well enough.

Not in my private life, but I have a few times at work. When you work with people who will go to Human Resources over any possible perceived slight, it's better not to give them any ammunition by conversing with them.

My mother does it and I hate it. I'm the only one of her four children who takes care of her, but she still pulls that shit. Sometimes it's something I did, but most of the time I eventually find out it had nothing to do with me. I try now to just ask her once and then let her stew, but it still hurts.

I sometimes do it when I am in such a rage that I am unable to express my problem unemotionally. I will be mite and try to be alone u til I calm down - sometimes the problem goes away completely because I realize it was my own emotional,overreaction. Sometimes it is better left unsaid - like when my elderly mother acts needy or crosses boundaries and I feel like cursing her out.

I would much prefer the silent treatment to a never ending argument.

I used to give people the silent treatment when I was mad at them.

And then I turned 11 and realized it was kind of baby-ish

Silent treatment is passive aggressive behavior.

People act crazy now. It's the only way sometimes. ESPECIALLY when they keep it going.

I have a partner who is an expert at it. I call it "the Laura Petrie treatment".

Are you a teen girl, OP? Real men have no clue what "the silent treatment" is.

Purposely not talking to someone out of anger or spite is what children do. When I see adults do this, I have no sympathy for them. Though, saying that, I've had to get a very close friend out of my life due to his self-destructive behavior. Drugs and out of control (unsafe) sex. I've tried to talk with him about it, but he says nothing is wrong. It just made me so sad to see him dissolve into someone I don't know anymore. I should have told him I couldn't see him anymore, but thought a gradual parting of the ways might be best. As it think about it, probably benefited me more than him.

Agree with R4 and R16. I come from a family of crazies and it's the only way to deal with them sometimes.

[quote]Are you a teen girl, OP? Real men have no clue what "the silent treatment" is.

You've got to be kidding. Men invented this shit. They walk around silently brooding for days. You ask them what's wrong and get no answer. Some of them actually pout. They are the biggest babies there are.

My BPD ex was queen of the silent treatment. Not a day went by where she didn't give me the silent treatment for a completely innocuous comment. Worst relationship I've ever been in.