Sir Kenneth Branagh

.....

Well, the story is, when he and what's her name did that noirish murder movie that was pure corn? He had sex. With men! I mean, SO many of them. Half the phone book in West Hollywood sized numbers.

Remember phonebooks?

So much wasted paper. Do you think Kenneth and Emma--OMG! THAT'S her name! And she did a movie called "Emma," right? Won an Oscar? Writing really weird screenplays, being in Harry Potter?

O.K. O.K., so who was Emma fucking? Or is it whom?

You know, this is really an amazing mojito, darlings! What did you crush into it?

He has no lips.

A good actor. Very good. But not Olivier in any way. Olivier’s reputation doesn’t rest on his acting (very good, but quite specific in his skills and prone to ham, which can be a good or bad thing depending on the project) but on his skills as a company builder and manager. Olivier was great at this. Branagh: no.

Average director, but good with actors.

I believe there is a lower lip somewhere, but the upper lip has vanished. Like his character in that Harry Potter movie. Whoosh at the end!

The ex ball and chain however made it into quite a few. Well, more than one anyway.

I know you’re just doing a “routine” r2 (and not a very good one), but Emma Thompson did not do the movie of Emma. That was DL fave Goop Paltrow.

And I congratulate you on your very "MARY!" routine in your reply, r6. It was very workmanlike.

You know, everyone wants to be a star these days, but some of us have the sense to be bit players. Steadier work that way.

You wouldn't happen to know what liking one's eggs on the Jersey side means?

The next time you head out to brunch I highly recommend them.

I prefer my Jersey eggs perfectly poached. Sometimes scrambled if they're soft scrambled. Or in a French omelette--also soft.

Soft is the key.

I've tried to like his acting but just can't. I didn't last but 15 minutes into his version of Murder on the Orient Express. Branagh as Poirot was worse than Tom Cruise as Jack Reacher.

Tremendous:

He'll always be Miguel to me.

My mother was part of his social circle around the time he left Emma for Helena Bonham Carter and used to go drinking with them. Apparently he was deeply awkward with all of HBC’s more hardcore and somewhat witchy friends. Funnily enough decades later Emma ended up mentoring me, and I met HBC once with her kids and she was like any other frau fussing over lunchboxes.

He’s not gay, just a boring slightly geeky straight bloke. He is more passionate about directing and teaching/mentoring, I think.

Not a great actor, delivers his lines with unintended campiness.

"He’s not gay, just a boring slightly geeky straight bloke. "

You have a photographed head shot of him framed in your home, don't you? A black and white one that you put in that thrift shop frame that you covered in beads. The hot glue burns were a bitch but it came out looking so good. Good enough for Kenneth anyway.

That whore! That filthy whore! You gave him the most memorable night of his life and it was your golden jewel plucking night to boot!

That heel! That fucking heel! Well, you showed him.

You still haven't washed it since he touched it last.

Of course I was talking about your autographed Harry Potter Gilderoy Lockhart edition t-shirt. If you washed it the autograph might come off.

But, you know, you good occasionally blast it with Febreeze every once in while and that autograph would be fine. I have that Harry Potter cosplay outfit? A fortune to dry clean! But put some cheap vodka and steam distilled water in a spray bottle and you can spritz it right on the hanger. Let it dry. You're all set.

I mean, I do it right after you wear it because you don't want a build up of odors. I might also rub a little oxyclean paste with an old tooth brush. Some of those stains kind or ruin the overall effect you may be going for.

That’s... quite a major overreaction to being told someone is not gay.

^It's the unfunny dipshit at R2 continuing with its "routine."

He’s always seemed to be obsessed with Laurence Olivier. I seem to recall reading somewhere that Olivier’s family had to ask him to back off around the time he died.

YEAH, I'M BLOCKED!!!!

It's like I want to constipate you! I know, it's crazy!

Apparently when Olivier died, Prince Charles couldn't attend the funeral in St. Paul's Cathedral and wanted to send Branagh as his representative. The Olivier family were horrified--"Henry V" had just come out and there was all this talk about Branagh being the new Olivier in the press, so if Branagh had come he would have stolen all the attention away from Olivier--and what' was even more upsetting, as the prince's representative, he would have been the last seated in the Cathedral and they all would have remained standing until he sat down. They protested so strenuously the prince had to back off and send Richard Attenborough instead.

It was a classic tone-deaf move by Prince Charles--he had decided Branagh was the next Olivier, so he had thought the gesture would be cute. His mother would have been very careful to ask around first and never would have made the mistake. This is the sort of thing for why Brits are so deeply distrustful of Charles--he's very arrogant (or at least he was in his 30s and 40s--I think he's learned better by now).

Thompson and HBC are friendly now--they got over the Branagh thing. Thompson has even agreed they're similar; "We're both awkward women with no fashion sense!"

KB is straight? 😂

This man has too many gay/bi/casting-couch rumours to count and don't forget about him "mentoring" Tom Hiddleston.

A few examples:

Literally every film credit Tom Hiddleston had prior/including the first Thor movie was linked to Kenneth Branagh in some way and we all know that Branagh didn't take interest in back then 19 year old Hiddleston because of his talent. He got him into RADA, into his first major play, onto TV and into his first really big film role.

Quote from an alleged RADA poster: Ken has been Tom's "mentor" for close to a decade now. Everything Tom is is because of Ken's love.

Branagh, Kenneth. "Early in his career was ambitio-sexual--would sleep with anyone to advance his career." Cute but conceited. Possibly yet another Great Gay British Actor. Couldn't handle his then-wife's success and pouted, causing Emma Thompson to divorce him. Linked with Helena Bonham Carter and Alicia Silverstone."

Remember when Richard Madden who played prince charming in Branagh's version of Cinderella had to try on diffrent jock-straps in front of Branagh and the costume designer in order to look which one would make his package look "family friendly"?

When Alexander Skarsgard was originally cast as Thor and dropped last minute under mysterious circumstances and Chris Hemsworth later refused to ever work with Branagh again ( after having to do the casting couch)?

om Hiddleston for every role Kenneth Branagh has ever cast him in.

Also heard that Chris Hemsworth for Thor and the guy who played the prince in the Cinderella movie Branagh directed.

And casting-couch-Ken fucked around for his roles way back in the day too.

One interesting thing about the Chris Hemsworth/Kenneth Branagh casting couch rumor after the the first Thor move was filmed, became a hit and Hemsworth became famous, Hemsworth reportedly refused to work with Branagh again for the sequel.

Ken's affair with Keanu being the real reason for the end of his marriage to Emma not HBC.

Ken allegedly sharing a flat with his boyfriend in London around 2004?

He never should have cast himself as Poirot. So wrong.

Loathed his Hamlet. It was a giant exercise in narcissism. I've seen clips of Love's Labour's Lost - haven't seen the full thing as it looks to be appalling - and it seems to be another example of unchecked ego. Extremely reluctant to try his other Shakespeare adaptations.

He was utterly brilliant in MacBeth at the Armory in NYC a few years ago. Simply thrilling. And with a coup de theatre too!! Real mud on stage!!!

Maybe his approach goes over my head but I often feel like his Shakespeare adaptations somewhat miss the point. Aren't the Bard's plays meant to be a bit loopy and sharp/vicious in general, as well as glittery meta if they're comedies? All I get from Branagh's versions are a sense of self-conscious camp, done softly and safe.

I loved the palette of his Hamlet.

R24, I think you're correct. The thing with reinterpretations of Shakespeare is that you have to grasp the essentials first.

R25, I agree with that, and there are some interesting aspects though his approach was off in general. I liked that there was an emotional background to Ophelia's madness that made sense, for example. Derek Jacobi playing Claudius was a nice touch.

Derek Jacobi playing anything is a nice touch. Now there's an Olivier for you.

I'm very fond of Kenneth Branagh but he's no Olivier.

Years ago, Kenneth Branagh stated in a magazine article that he had never known any gays, not even in theater (Wink, wink!). I think that he and Emma Thompson were beards for each other. Lots of lesbians rumors about her.

His Shakespeare films range from very good (HENRY V, HAMLET) to OK (the overrated MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING) to appalling (LOVE'S LABOURS LOST, done as a 1930's style musical - it was Branagh's AT LONG LAST LOVE). I haven't seen AS YOU LIKE IT and don't care to.

"We're both awkward women with no fashion sense!"

Meow, Emma!

Lots of rumors about Ken having a thing with Aussie actor/dancer Adam Garcia. Garcia had a small role in Branagh’s production of The Winter’s Tale in London and a small role in Murder on the Orient Express.

I find him rather handsome and sexy, to be honest. Lucky guys if there are those who have slept with him.

I spent a lot of time with Emma and my mum spent a lot of time with Ken and Helena in the early days of their affair. I don’t know Ken personally so no idea about any other part of his life (I guess he could be bi) but his marriage and affair were both real.

I’m highly sceptical anything happened between him and Tom and certainly there are no rumours about that outside of the Internet.

All this honestly smacks of Prancing Ponies.

Btw the comment about not knowing any gays is very weird, but I have to say I know more lesbians (and know of more tedious and insane lesbian drama) in London theatre than gay men. Plenty of gay men of course but lots of dykes too, but this gets largely ignored. I guess because it doesn’t fit the cliche?

If you ever feel in need of a lift just watch the scene in Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein with DeNiro when Dr Frankenstein is attempting to bring his creature to life. Live!!! Live!! he shrieks rushing around the set as though his vibrator has stuck on maximum buzz.

Ham served as it should be - thick and lots of it.

You just made all that up on the spot, r20. And I'd bet good money you're the same deranged Hiddles/Marvel troll that's been busted for sockpuppeting and starting deranged threads on various gossip sites all over the place lately.

"Literally every film credit Tom Hiddleston had prior/including the first Thor movie was linked to Kenneth Branagh in some way and we all know that Branagh didn't take interest in back then 19 year old Hiddleston because of his talent. He got him into RADA, into his first major play, onto TV and into his first really big film role."

Completely fake. Tom Hiddleston was literally an Olivier Award winner when he first met Kenneth Branagh. And he was in his late twenties at the time, not 19.

Tom didn't even start acting till he was in his early twenties (he graduated from Cambridge before he enrolled in drama school, and would have been probably 24 or 25 when he graduated from RADA) so I don't know why you're claiming he was a teenager.

Ken met Tom Hiddleston for the first time in 2008 (when he was 27 years old), when he was starring in Othello at the Donmar Warehouse. This was three years after he graduated from RADA, and he'd already starred in two movies (both directed by a woman), a few TV series, and several major stage productions, one of which as mentioned he won an Olivier for.

There's no question that Ken's mentorship helped his career but he was nearly 30 and a reasonably successful actor before they even met. Making up lies about him being an inexperienced teenager is just plain weird.

Hiddleston was only 20 years old when he had a small cameo in the 2001 film, Conspiracy, which also starred Ken Branagh.

Notice Tucci's eyes lingering on Hiddleston at 1:03-1:04 in the video below before the clip was quickly cut.

Tom was an extra in that film when he was a Cambridge University student. He didn't meet Kenneth Branagh or share scenes with him onset. They met for the first time in 2008, when Branagh attended the Donmar Othello Hiddleston was appearing in.

R36 also thinks Hiddleswift was real.

Oh go away and troll Tumblr some more, Shaintana.

Of course Hiddleswift was fake/bearding.

Doesn't change the fact your bizarre rant at r20 is an easily disproved pack of lies, and the fact that Tom Hiddleston was 27 years old and an Olivier winner when he first met Kenneth Branagh, not a teenager who had never acted before.

Since when is someone at age 20 considered a teenager? 😂

R34, if you don't know many gay guys in the theater then you aren't looking very hard

BTW, Ken and Derek Jacobi were an item

He's way too ugly or at least funny-looking to become a legend. Plus as our culture has degenerated theater has become "niche" and doesn't produce legends anymore.

*LOVED* him in Wallender, the PBS adaptation of the Swedish crime series. True is was a bit ofa dour interpretation, but he was perfect in it.

R37 Actually, my mistake. Tom Hiddleston was 19 years old when he appeared in the movie, "Conspiracy".

Do you not know how to read, r41? r20 explicitly said "then nineteen year old Hiddleston." 19 is definitely a teenager.

Irrelevant anyway since he was 27 when they met.

Derek Jacobi has been one of my family’s closest friends since I was baby, and as I’ve said my mother acted with Ken and knew him fairly well around the time of his divorce. They certainly have never been an item.

This thread is pure fantasy.

[quote]I spent a lot of time with Emma

You are going to say this and leave, R33?!

Yes, she mentored me for a short period when I was starting out in theatre, and is currently mentoring a friend of mine.

What would you like to know? I mainly know her professionally, not really on a personal level. She is very lovely and occasionally sends me handwritten postcards.

He was never a looker but he’s kept himself up pretty well. I remember during his heyday in the early 90s predicting he would be morbidly obese by the time he turned 55.

The Mr. and Mrs. Branagh.

No baby Branaghs?

They don't have kids.

So after HBC, Ken married Wendy Jo Sperber?

Glad to see a few good things said about Olivier on this thread. Not a nice person. At all. But DL likes to trash him as an actor unnecessarily.

But still in films like Carrie, Henry V and Richard III he is a talent of such giant proportions there is no one comparable today. People still talk of his Macbeth and Coriolanus. Well the few still alive who saw him on stage.

And yes there could be quite a bit of the ham fat but could anyone have ever played a more handsome tormented Heathcliff? We are so bereft of great talents today.

Didn't Laurence Olivier have a secret affair with Danny Kaye?

Branagh seems to idolize queer men like Olivier and Jacobi.

Dear R47, Was it your Mother or Father who had the three way with Branagh and Keanu?

Smug twat.

Any actor who didn't admire Olivier and Jacobi would be an idiot.

R11, etc., it's nice to hear your casual tidbits. I was just thinking about Emma today and her movie with Jeff Goldblum, "The Tall Guy." I'd like to see that again.

I didn't realize that she had divorced KB; I thought they split because of his affair. I wasted time feeling sorry for her, I guess. She's ended up in what appears to be happy, long marriage with Greg Wise, so, good for her! I didn't find him that attractive in "Sense and Sensibility," but he's aging wonderfully and is looking incredible these days.

Anything else you'd like to tell us would not go amiss. Can you tell us who else you've worked with whose names we would probably know?

I guess the only one alive today who knows most of Olivier's secrets is Plowright and she's not giving any of them away. Guess we'll never know about what really transpired between him and Kaye though Michael Korda who probably knew everyone said they had a relationship.

Though I enjoy Kaye a lot I wouldn't have slept with him for the key to Fort Knox.

I thought Emma divorced him because of his affairs, no?

Thompson was quoted as saying that Branagh was "constitutionally unsuited to being married."

r60, I can tell you which theatre director is a mad closeted lesbian stalker who gets obsessed with her female cast members, but you possibly wouldn’t have heard of her.

Just go ahead anyway, R64.

We want to hear more from R34 and R64.

R60, I went to an Edinburgh Book Festival meet the author session with Greg Wise the other day, he’s looking good and spoke very fondly of Emma as “the Dame”.

R64, I am somewhat familiar with British theatre directors. Lyndsey Turner?

Let’s just say I’ve heard more than one person compare her to Judi Dench’s character in Notes on a Scandal.

So it’s Lyndsay Turner then?