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Do intelligent women have it harder in life?

I don't mean run-of-the-mill, conventionally smart, but rather scintillatingly brilliant women.

My biological mother (I was adopted and don't know her well) is psychologist-tested brilliant and has taught herself several languages, but she is also a high school dropout who has struggled with drug use, job problems, and unhealthy relationships all her life.

I have noticed other intelligent women in my life who have had similar struggles.

Do you think life is truly more difficult for very smart women?

by Anonymousreply 65November 11, 2018 12:38 PM

It would be as tough to be Christina Stead these days as it was in the 1950s.

by Anonymousreply 1August 13, 2018 11:36 AM

Intelligent people both men and woman have a harder time. Imaging being the smartest one in the room 90% of the time. Smarter than your friends, family, coworkers, boss, doctors, people you might want to date, etc. Yet you cant just take over their jobs. It would be like living in a world where everyone you come in contact with was a Deplorable.

I think the guy with the highest IQ in history, William James Sidis had very odd jobs and died young. His IQ was estimated to be 50 to 100 points higher than Albert Einstein's! He died from a brain hemorrhage. He was 46

by Anonymousreply 2August 13, 2018 12:27 PM

Yes, they absolutely do. This is because women (on average) look for a higher status male that they are. Intelligent women thus have a smaller pool to search through. Plus, intelligent women earn more so they also want a man who usually earns more than them. This of course does not apply to all smart women, simply the average. Intelligent people also have more trouble socially as they can become bored by interests or conversation that the average person might enjoy.

by Anonymousreply 3August 13, 2018 12:44 PM

Jordan Peterson has videos precisely on this topic. I would find it for you if I wasn’t so tired. But you might be able to find on YouTube using your keywords. Good luck.

by Anonymousreply 4August 13, 2018 12:45 PM

Straight men tend to avoid intelligent women and they often have to dumb down to get a man interested.

by Anonymousreply 5August 13, 2018 3:06 PM

r5, I work in academia. One thing I have noticed about straight male academics is that they love smart women in theory. But if a woman actually outwits them, they can't handle it.

by Anonymousreply 6August 13, 2018 3:53 PM

yes, because you're a minority. Minorities always have it difficult. You don't connect with 90% of people because you think different, have diff interests, maybe even goals etc. You're destined to be alone.

by Anonymousreply 7August 13, 2018 4:03 PM

Of course

by Anonymousreply 8October 10, 2018 8:51 PM

Old Spanish proverb: "Mujer que sabe latín, no tiene marido ni tiene buen fin." (Roughly: "A woman who knows Latin has no husband nor will she come to a good end."

by Anonymousreply 9October 10, 2018 8:58 PM

This is one of those questions that have no right or wrong answer. In this case, the answer would be: it depends on the woman. There are many variables that could influence a person's ability to cope with getting on from day to day.

by Anonymousreply 10October 10, 2018 9:05 PM

Yes. It makes most people uncomfortable to be around someone smarter than they are. If the smartest person in the room is a woman, there's usually an attempt to undermine her and bring her down. Very bright women hide their intelligence a good part of the time, but then, of course, they're overlooked as a result.

It's all deeply frustrating.

by Anonymousreply 11October 10, 2018 9:07 PM

A close friend of mine graduated from high school early and breezed through Harvard in 3 years. She wasn't crazy ambitious intellectually, though. She just wanted to work in the film industry but couldn't get hired as an assistant because people thought she was too smart. That she'd get bored and quit. I felt bad for her. I ended up doing all the things she wanted to do and I went to a very average city college.

Anyway, after getting some PA work here and there, she bit the bullet and went to law school. She aced that and the bar then really said "Fuck it" and just married another lawyer - a guy that we grew up with who was a complete dork. She has a nice life now, but that frustration is still there.

So, my anecdotal opinion is yes - intelligent women can have it rough. It's like being beautiful or really handsome. People just write you off, thinking you can't be bothered.

by Anonymousreply 12October 10, 2018 9:10 PM

In some ways, yes. But I think it's worse to be stupid and not understand what's going on around you. I once took a really difficult math class and felt like shit trying to understand what was going on. But stupid people must feel like shit (to some degree) all the time.

by Anonymousreply 13October 11, 2018 6:07 AM

I do not want to know Jordan Almond Peterson’s thoughts on this matter.

by Anonymousreply 14October 11, 2018 6:15 AM

? r14? What do you mean?

by Anonymousreply 15October 11, 2018 12:02 PM

Brilliant men have the same problem..I think life would be easier for most people if they were just simple minded

by Anonymousreply 16October 11, 2018 12:10 PM

I agree r16

by Anonymousreply 17October 11, 2018 12:24 PM

[quote]Brilliant men have the same problem.

Eh, not really. Sex is a factor, because men are raised to value intelligence to a greater degree than women. Yes, a brilliant man will have his challenges, but it’s dwarfed by what a woman faces because she’s already working from a disadvantage via socialization- her own and the biases of others.

The super intelligent women I know have either never married or are childless. They either aren’t interested in being tied down to a man, or refused to dumb themselves down for one. Most of these women seem fulfilled with not just their professional work, but hobbies, side businesses, charity work, travel, etc. It’s not that they don’t struggle, just that they have plenty of things to keep them stimulated that don’t involve a spouse or kids.

by Anonymousreply 18October 11, 2018 1:24 PM

R2 kind of nailed it.

There are countless studies on this-- basic theory is that very smart kids never have to work in school in their early years -- they already know everything--and their identity is wrapped around knowing more than everyone.

Then they hit high school or college and they don't know everything but they don't know how to study. Plus they know what interests them about areas they are interested in (e.g. if they are history fanatics they may know all about the Civil War, but nothing about the French and Indian war, and if the test is on the latter, they're screwed.)

So most give up and say "I'm not very good at X" and don't try. Because they're so smart, they'll do okay anyway, they'll wind up at UCLA instead of Stanford.

They often have a hard time fitting in to organizations because people are threatened by them and do best as either academics or entrepreneurs

Women probably have it tougher than men though because of societal expectations.

by Anonymousreply 19October 11, 2018 1:42 PM

What r18 said.

Brilliant men have it easier than very intelligent women, r16. People are much readier to accept that a man is more intelligent than they themselves are, than they're willing to accept that from a woman. In the hetero world (i.e., the world), women want a man who impresses them in terms of intellect and power, while men want a woman who'll be impressed with their (the man's) intellect and power.

One smart woman I know puts it like this: "My life would be so much easier if I were half as smart and twice as pretty."

by Anonymousreply 20October 11, 2018 2:22 PM

r6 has it.

by Anonymousreply 21October 11, 2018 2:29 PM

R18 has it

by Anonymousreply 22October 11, 2018 2:51 PM

No one has it harder than Melania Trump.

by Anonymousreply 23October 11, 2018 9:35 PM

Look at how smart I am. I promised to serve 2 terms in the Senate, and I encourage all women rape victims to report.

by Anonymousreply 24October 11, 2018 9:38 PM

Yes. Being around less intelligent people (especially the ones who think they're brilliant, which is pretty much everybody now) is exhausting.

by Anonymousreply 25October 11, 2018 10:14 PM

Looks trump brains. The best thing is to be brilliant and gorgeous. Marry well, repeatedly if possible. When your looks fade you'll still be interested in life.

The worst thing is to be brilliant and ugly. THAT way you are doomed to misery and feel every aspect of it.

by Anonymousreply 26October 11, 2018 10:20 PM

Looks fade, r26. And fading looks impact the way women are treated especially.

by Anonymousreply 27October 12, 2018 12:14 PM

Well, they don’t have it harder than gay men, of course! Are you sure you’re asking that question in the right place? 😀

by Anonymousreply 28October 12, 2018 12:45 PM

oh fuck yes. the stupider you are the less you know, the less you pay attention, the less shit bothers you....

by Anonymousreply 29October 12, 2018 12:52 PM

They certainly attract mansplainers like lights attract moths.

by Anonymousreply 30October 22, 2018 12:06 PM

A lady I worked with at Head Start years ago was fired for being "too smart." The supervisor said she was obviously going on to better things and wouldn't stay there forever, and what they needed were people who would stick around for years, so they accidentally (ha ha) lost her immunization records and had to fire her because she couldn't prove she was vaccinated.

I wouldn't have believed it had it not happened right in front of me in my own classroom. No one batted an eye. People later said that it was a good move because smart women were irritating, dangerous, etc. Crazy stuff.

by Anonymousreply 31October 22, 2018 12:17 PM

I have no problem being with people who are smarter than I, but they usually have so much baggage that they're exhausting to be around. And I always end up thinking to myself, "If you're so freaking brilliant why do you have thousands of problems?" Of course, stupid people are exhausting, too, so at the end of the day I'd probably rather have the Kierkegaard kook krashing on my kouch.

by Anonymousreply 32October 22, 2018 12:46 PM

Lots of wisdom on this thread. Am I on the wrong website?

by Anonymousreply 33October 22, 2018 1:19 PM

Straight men -- even many academics and intellectual men -- don't give a fuck about womens accomlishments or brains, which can be really disorienting to their female peers and contribute to feelings of rejection. Almost none of the straight dudes in my PhD program married anyone anyone near their own levels. The gay guys were the only guys who married well across the board.

by Anonymousreply 34October 22, 2018 1:22 PM

What was your program in r34?

by Anonymousreply 35October 22, 2018 1:43 PM

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.

by Anonymousreply 36October 22, 2018 2:31 PM

Motivation and curiosity are more important than “intelligence.” The measurement of intelligence has an ugly history based in phrenology/racism etc.

In other words, not all so-called brilliant or intelligent women are single or lonely with no social life. That is a stereotype,

I hate tossing around terms like “smart” or “brilliant “ or “genius” as if they are concrete and indisputable. Some of these supposedly high IQ people have a piss poor EQ. There are many forms of intelligence and knowledge.

by Anonymousreply 37October 22, 2018 2:32 PM

Yes. A lot of bias historically. What is EQ?

by Anonymousreply 38October 22, 2018 2:43 PM

Emotional intelligence. (like IQ, "emotional (intelligence) quotient).

by Anonymousreply 39October 22, 2018 2:50 PM

R12, how is her law career?

by Anonymousreply 40October 22, 2018 2:51 PM

The measurement of intelligence has an ugly history based in misogyny as well, r37.

And an even larger percentage of males than females with high IQ are on the spectrum, with abysmal emotional intelligence, yet almost all male math professors or Nobel Prize winners are married.

However you measure intelligence, women have it harder in life.

by Anonymousreply 41October 22, 2018 2:53 PM

Why are all the hypothetical and anecdotal women referred to in this thread heterosexuals?

by Anonymousreply 42October 22, 2018 3:10 PM

OP: Really intelligent women and men, love to party.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 43October 22, 2018 3:17 PM

R34 is right.

And just an FYI: I almost resent men who fall for me because of the way I look. However, I don’t usually have LTRs w/ men who aren’t fairly bright themselves.

I will take brains over youth and/or looks every time, unless, of course, you look like a troll or some creature. And no overweight men.

Standards, plus, we’re all somewhat vain and/or shallow.

by Anonymousreply 44October 22, 2018 3:21 PM

No. Being a woman already means you go through life on easy mode, must be even easier the smarter you are.

Some of these replies are unreal, then I remember the weird RadFem man hate contingent that post here for some reason.

by Anonymousreply 45October 22, 2018 3:32 PM

r45 = Mitch McConnell

by Anonymousreply 46October 22, 2018 3:33 PM

R46, at the very least, R45 is an unattractive man who was raised by a smart (aka: “manipulative “) woman.

by Anonymousreply 47October 22, 2018 3:39 PM

Most women vastly overestimate their own, and other womens intelligence. I think that may have something to do with it.

Same with sense of humour, how many times have you had a female friend rave about their 'absolutly hilarious' funny friend and you 'have to meet' them and have to spend the night humouring their shit, obvious, pedestrian intellect.

r47 Nah my mum's a bit stupid tbh, my dad's the smart one. I am pretty ugly though so you got that bit right.

by Anonymousreply 48October 22, 2018 3:43 PM

r45 / r48 - incel

by Anonymousreply 49October 22, 2018 3:54 PM

r49 = overweight

by Anonymousreply 50October 22, 2018 3:58 PM

Being an intelligent but heaven forbid not attractive female would be the worst, especially in the Trump White House.

by Anonymousreply 51October 22, 2018 4:10 PM

Why would a woman who is smart AND attractive want to work in the Trump WH?

Smart, attractive women can almost work anywhere they want to. And you will put up with the same sexism you’d put with in the Trump WH, regardless of where you work.

by Anonymousreply 52October 22, 2018 4:48 PM

There are no intelligent women--except for Meth Barbie, who made millions off the campaign--working in the WH. The smart civil servant types, even the Republicans, know it's a resume killer.

by Anonymousreply 53October 22, 2018 4:56 PM

R42 took the words out of my mouth.

by Anonymousreply 54October 22, 2018 5:24 PM

Lots of cliches being repeated here. Super smart people have more options in life, including "opting-out" -- but not for the reasons you'd easily understand. They aren't usually risk averse, either. Randomness and probability are their playthings.

by Anonymousreply 55October 22, 2018 8:42 PM

R53 why would working in the White House be a resume killer?

by Anonymousreply 56October 23, 2018 1:10 AM

Intelligent women have it VERY hard in life, r11 and r12 are absolutely correct. They are not taken seriously by colleagues and other women hate them. If you’re good looking and smart, it is an exercise in frustration. However, if you are okay with letting out your inner mean girl and learning to mess with people’s heads, it’s possible to be hbic, but it won’t be easy. Overall, most very intelligent women are very unhappy.

by Anonymousreply 57October 23, 2018 1:25 AM

What would be harder for a woman?

1. Beautiful and very intelligent 2. Ugly and very intelligent

by Anonymousreply 58October 23, 2018 1:46 PM

Yes.

See: 2016 Presidential election.

by Anonymousreply 59November 10, 2018 5:15 PM

please continue to invent reasons to believe you are victims of a conspiracy.

meanwhile, visit the threads where it’s hysterical females (christiano rape) going apoplectic with no facts spiraling and claiming all men are rapists, even if they’re gay.

by Anonymousreply 60November 10, 2018 5:50 PM

The trolls aren't even trying to conceal their trolling.

by Anonymousreply 61November 10, 2018 5:51 PM

I'm fascinated with high IQ people who end-up in menial jobs. I think they just want a low-stress income so they can go home and devour books or solve the mysteries of the universe They often seek-out intellectually inferior friends who won't tax them cerebrally.

Someone up thread mentioned William Sidis, who collected streetcar transfers, had a job running adding machines, spent time in mental hospitals and once scored poorly on a Civil Service exam.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 62November 10, 2018 5:56 PM

I think being intelligent is always an advantage and usually leads to a happier life, barring complicating factors like bipolar, tendency to depression, etc. Less sharp people fall for duplicitous types more easily, and so end up in bad marriages, business deals, etc. Less intelligent people have duller inner lives so they tend to be bored more easily. Intelligent people can entertain themselves because they often love learning and you can do that all your life.

They also have a greater ability to learn from their own mistakes because they're more logical and see connections, cause and effect, and such....so their lives improve as they go along. Oh lots of reasons... I'd rather be intelligent than any other attribute - it brings so much to your life that others completely miss.

by Anonymousreply 63November 10, 2018 6:26 PM

I don't think so, OP. A lot of men can't get hard for a really smart woman.

by Anonymousreply 64November 10, 2018 10:23 PM

My friends and I are very intelligent... high IQs, multi degreed, professional jobs. Overall, the only time we've ever had trouble was when we were in grad school. Universities are filled with idiots, including on faculty, so being an intelligent student threatened the people on campus who were there for reasons other than intellect.

by Anonymousreply 65November 11, 2018 12:38 PM
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