Let's Be an Episode of Solid Gold!

I'm Marilyn McCoo doing a skit with Madam, dying inside and wishing for another hit with my husband Billy Davis, Jr.

I'm Melissa Manchester, sitting in my living room and screaming at the television set as Marilyn McCoo and Rex Smith massacre my #1 hit.

I’m lead dancer Darcel’s braid, whipping around

I'm Cooley, always paired up with Darcel because we were both black.

I'm the Solid Gold Dancers poster that came free in every box of Super Sugar Crisp cereal!

I'm Andy Gibb's copious chest hair, in blatant display.

I'm Dionne Warwick's Thailand cave-sized nostrils, sucking in all the air in the studio.

I'm the shady cameraman who has been told repeatedly to avoid pointing the camera up Dionne's nostrils. It's like avoiding two dodgeballs aimed at my freaking head.

I'm the horny adolescent gay boy getting hugely turned on by Solid Gold Dancer Tony when he would perform shirtless.

I'm headbands!

I'm Boy George, singing the "before I put on my makeup" lyric from "Say A Little Prayer."

I'm Legs & Co, watching from across the Pond thinking "What the fresh hell is this?"

I'm the dancers at the David in Times Square. In 1980 we took off out clothes and let you fondle our cocks to everyone of these song!

I'm chiffon.

I'm winceyette. Pleased to meet you, R14.

R11 Thanks so much for the great laugh out loud moment!

Dionne Warwick and Boy George what a classic.

I’m Dorothy Zbornak in a glossy, black blouse. I look like the mother of a Solid Gold Dancer.

I'm the longing stares into the camera that the dancers do after they wiggle and writhe to last song in the countdown.

I'm Marilyn Mccoo changing hte gender pronouns in "Ain't Nothin' Gonna Break My Stride" @1:36 so she don't seem like no lesbo! :)

Surprised at the way they were dressed for the occasion.

80’s commercials really take you back to the good old days.

Take me back to the 80’s with big hair and mullets.

Jesus fucking Christ R22, that Smokey Robinson song is an utter turd. I can’t sling my braid around to that!

Although I do like the two garbage bags that Patti Austin has wrapped herself up in

I'm the show's choreographer who's at a complete loss at how to choreograph "Shame on the Moon" for the Top 10 Countdown, so I hand Darcel a medicine ball and tell her to roll around on it.

I’m Dionne Warwick sticking zucchini’s up my pussy to marinate before the show so Whitney can chow down afterwards

I'm Marilyn McCoo, pissed as hell that I'm doing another show solo or with some loser "special guest star" because Andy Gibb was too fucking wasted to even stand up, let alone get his drugged out ass to the taping!

Ouch R28. Is that why he left the show? Poor Andy. Was it heroin?

Cocaine and alcohol.

I'm Sheena Easton, looking gorgeous and Gozarian performing another non-hit on one of my record setting number of appearances.

And let's not forget the follow up interview with madame.

I love you r31, (and r8 and r26) for referencing Zuul.

I'm Marilyn McCoo being beautiful, sounding fabulous and wondering how the f*ck Sheena Easton is having hits that should have been mine.

I'm the out of control armpit hair on Tony Fields. I was also on display in A CHORUS LINE film in 1985.

We were dead by 1995.

Darcel was so fucking fierce!

I'm Deney Terrio, wondering why I couldn't have been on this show instead. Maybe then I wouldn't have been molested by Merv Griffin.

Thank you, R36. Deeply appreciated

I LOVED Darcel!