Was humiliated by homophobes at my son's PTA conference
This deplorable shit is simply getting out of hand. There is no excuse for the grotesque humiliation I received at my most recent PTA conference. My husbear and I have been married for almost 15 years. We have an adopted son, from El Salvador. We live in a pretty upscale kind of place near Portland, and our son goes to a local school with an excellent reputation. Now you're thinking that Portland is pretty liberal, right? Well I'm unfortunate enough to live on the Eastern outskirts of town, where there are a lot of deplorable rural voters. Their SUVs and skanky clothes really give me the creeps. My husbear and I try to avoid str8s at all costs, but sometimes you've got to turn up to the parent-teacher meetings. My son is in the 10th grade, and has had disciplinary problems. So I turn up at the school. Although I'm in my 50s, I look great - some guess late 30s - and I tend to dress provocatively to express myself. I used to be very overweight, and my weight loss was uneven, so I need to wear a bro. I was also wearing cutoff jeans and a thong, which may, just MAY, have been peeking out under the low waistline. Anyway, that was no excuse for the abuse heaped upon me by the other parents and teachers.
There were these huge masc, deplorable men, all built like shit brickhouses, who started insulting me and degrading me. They called me a buttboy, queer, faggot, and mancunt, and began to assault me severely. The teachers laughed when they saw this. Now at this stage my tinymeat was bursting in my thong.. A huge deplorable masc blue collar type, with enormous biceps, and a square-buzzed beard, saw that I was hard. He loudly degraded my tiny cocklet, and proceeded to kick me violently in the balls. I was rolling on the floor, in agony, screaming for help, shrieking, if you will. Then my son arrived. He's a blatino jock. Now we've never tried to imitate str8 parenting. We proudly raised our son to be gay and not str8. When he first started jerking off, I loaned him my Dick Wadd collection. Now instead of defending his daddy, he doubled down on the verbal abuse. I could see his colossal pinga unfurl in his unwashed jogging bottoms. Masc smells were ripe in the air. My son blamed me for being a nasty queer, and told me that he's never been so embarrassed, because now everyone knows I'm a nelly bottom. He and the deplorables took turns queerbashing me and humiliating me, then they unloaded rank piss on me and refused to let me clean up.
I've never been so degraded and humiliated in my life!
| by Anonymous | reply 48 | February 15, 2020 5:20 AM
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UPDATE: I called the police to report the appalling treatment I received. They dismissed my concerns out of hand. My son just sat around with his hands in his pockets, complaining to heavyset officers how I had embarrassed him for dressing in an overtly 'gay' manner. That was really annoying. I texted my husbear. My husbear said, "We'll sort the little bitch out when he gets home. Now just put down the fucking statement and get your fucking ass back home."
I said, "Yes, SIR!"
The police captain said, "Who are you calling SIR, homo?"
My blatino son said, "That's poppa."
The police captain said, "Who the fuck is poppa?"
My blatino son said, "None of your fucking business, bitch."
At this stage, the kwaps were fed up with us. A huge officer built like a shit brickhouse and with enormous, meaty thighs kicked us out and told us never to come back unless we wanted a cold steel enema courtesy of a .38.
Well, I never!
| by Anonymous | reply 1 | July 28, 2018 2:46 AM
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R2 you're lucky you don't live in areas where overt homophobia is the norm.
| by Anonymous | reply 3 | July 28, 2018 2:51 AM
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UPDATE: I don't know what happened, but a pair of big, burly men in white coats and holding a butterfly net just broke into my house as I was typing all this. I have no idea where they're taking me.
| by Anonymous | reply 4 | July 28, 2018 2:51 AM
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UPDATE: The men in white coats just slapped this weird white jacket on me that has no holes in the sleeves, then tightened it in such a way where I can't move my arms. Oh! Now they're injecting me with something! Feeling...dizzy...
| by Anonymous | reply 5 | July 28, 2018 2:52 AM
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R5, how can you belittle the awful experience I just had with your trite and unfunny commentary?
| by Anonymous | reply 6 | July 28, 2018 2:54 AM
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Egads. I hope the janitor was working late at the school that night, OP.
| by Anonymous | reply 7 | July 28, 2018 2:56 AM
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UPDATE: I just woke up. Feeling woozy. I'm in this white room. The walls look padded. A woman in a white nurse's uniform is approaching me. Her name tag says "Nurse Ratchet." I think I can hear someone doing Native American chants in the room next to mine.
This evening has been most traumatizing! I could call my husbear, but how can I call him with my arms restrained like this?
| by Anonymous | reply 8 | July 28, 2018 2:56 AM
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Wow, this is a fast-moving predicament!
| by Anonymous | reply 9 | July 28, 2018 3:13 AM
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Hope the electo shock therapy helps, OP
| by Anonymous | reply 10 | July 28, 2018 3:15 AM
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Oh lord if you were in my creative writing class you'd be laughed out of the classroom and right into a volcano!
| by Anonymous | reply 12 | July 28, 2018 3:19 AM
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How can you post responses from a straightjacket? Are you typing with your nose or your toe.
| by Anonymous | reply 13 | July 28, 2018 3:26 AM
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The OP is just some poor troll with a lot of time on his hands. His "husbear"...on my God.
| by Anonymous | reply 14 | July 28, 2018 3:30 AM
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Maybe a woman will appreciate your straight (girl) tinymeat, OP.
| by Anonymous | reply 15 | July 28, 2018 3:33 AM
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UPDATE: I have been taken to another room down the hall. It's filled with strange machines that I've never seen before. Can't tell if they're diagnostic or what. Classical music is playing in the background. The doctor is smiling at me. He seems really nice, and he's hot, too, a real DILF. Reminds me of my husbear.
Huh? What's the deal? One of the assistants is placing electrodes on my temple and something to bite on. I wonder why?
Now another assistant, a really hot, beefy young thing, is moving over to one of the strange machines, which is covered in switches. He appears to be flipping one of the switches. Why is he looking at me with such sadness in his eyes?
YOWCH!!!!!
What did I do? What did I do?
OWOWOW OWOWOW OW!!!!!
OWEEE OWWEEEE OWWEEEE OWWEEEEEEE!!!!
| by Anonymous | reply 17 | July 28, 2018 3:49 AM
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UpDaT3:
deAr Dl,
tHey ZaPp3d Me a BuNcH of TiM3s aNd iT fiX3d MuH bRaIn.
I aM NoW cUrEd oF mY pAth3Tic aTTeMpts aT AtT3nTIoN seEKinG.
i wiLl n3VeR tRoLl U wItH aNoTh3R oN3 Of My sTUpId sToRi3s AgAiN. sCoUt's HoNor!
lOv3, oP
| by Anonymous | reply 18 | July 28, 2018 3:58 AM
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Now they call me son of tinymeat
| by Anonymous | reply 20 | July 28, 2018 3:59 AM
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OP this isn't even humors, just stupid clichés. Writing fake stories is not your forte it seems. You are trying way to hard to be funny. #FAIL
| by Anonymous | reply 21 | July 28, 2018 3:59 AM
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A creepy fat man in an alleyway offered me 100 dollars for a pair of my own soiled compression shorts.
| by Anonymous | reply 22 | July 28, 2018 4:00 AM
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I am going to take him off on that offer!
| by Anonymous | reply 23 | July 28, 2018 4:00 AM
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I have left you for a woman. Apparently being gay is a choice!
| by Anonymous | reply 24 | July 28, 2018 4:00 AM
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R8 why are you mocking my personal trauma? I hope you get queerbashed.
| by Anonymous | reply 25 | July 28, 2018 4:13 AM
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Not to worry hon; we've got a special place all ready for you up here in Walla Walla--lotz of very interesting new men for you to meet! (We're quite sure Oregon will approve extradition)
| by Anonymous | reply 26 | July 28, 2018 5:12 AM
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Congrats to the alternate OP's, much better than the original dreck.
| by Anonymous | reply 27 | July 28, 2018 5:17 AM
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OK, I'm laughing. Thanks Op, you're silly.
| by Anonymous | reply 28 | July 28, 2018 5:48 AM
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OP is the only one gay-bashing.
| by Anonymous | reply 29 | July 28, 2018 5:48 AM
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What constitutes a 'cocklet', OP? Three or four inches when erect and as slim as a penlight? Less than three?
| by Anonymous | reply 31 | July 28, 2018 5:55 AM
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Once is enough, R30. No amount of editing will help.
| by Anonymous | reply 32 | July 28, 2018 5:57 AM
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Is this a the into to a porno OP?
| by Anonymous | reply 33 | July 28, 2018 6:01 AM
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You gay men are sick. I stumbled across this site after searching one of my favorite celebs Henry Cavill. I thought aome of the insight was whimsical and funny. And now I am disturbed. I am not joking. I personally believe most gay people are mentally ill and not born that way. My youngest son thinks he is gay. I'm seeking him to therapy next week.
| by Anonymous | reply 34 | July 28, 2018 6:03 AM
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I dont think this is the original "puny cocklet" troll. The original seems somewhat more earnest in his deranged fantasy jerk-off posts (he also says Alpha a lot more). This would mean that there is a puny cocklet troll impostor, which is an unimpressive selection to emulate.
| by Anonymous | reply 35 | July 28, 2018 6:06 AM
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R35. why are you mocking my small cock? It has condemned me to a life of bottomhood.
| by Anonymous | reply 36 | July 28, 2018 6:56 AM
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A vagina would do that, OP.
| by Anonymous | reply 37 | July 28, 2018 7:04 AM
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I think this story might actually be true. Rural Oregon is pretty rough.
| by Anonymous | reply 38 | August 1, 2018 1:33 PM
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Were you the same hapless little boy who's own father mocked his "tiny cocklet"?
We discuss a lot of material on DL. Get your sicko kicks elsewhere!
| by Anonymous | reply 40 | August 1, 2018 2:04 PM
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Next stop for OP: the grease fire room.
| by Anonymous | reply 41 | August 1, 2018 2:10 PM
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R42 what's wrong with husbear?
| by Anonymous | reply 43 | August 1, 2018 3:00 PM
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"shit brickhouse" instead of "brick shithouse"?
| by Anonymous | reply 45 | February 15, 2020 5:16 AM
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OMG this is like reading an episode of penthouse forum, but only in reverse
| by Anonymous | reply 47 | February 15, 2020 5:18 AM
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What a story! Everything but the bloodhounds snappin' at her rear end!
| by Anonymous | reply 48 | February 15, 2020 5:20 AM
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