Let’s Be an Episode of What’s My Line from 1958

I'm guest Charles Laughton constantly referring to my wife.

I'm a stick of Stopette.

I'm Dr. Jules Montenier, the inventor of Stopette. Actually, I've disappeared by 1958, after selling my company to Helene Curtis. I was a mystery guest in 1956, but I remained seating during the segment, having lost a leg in a car accident several years earlier.

I’m the mystery guest who is in the “legitimate theatre”!

I’m Helen Lawson. The panel smelled me before the first question. And I’m not talking about an overdose of Helenesque.

I'm one of Bennett Cerf's excruciatingly awful puns. He practically gives himself a hernia trying to work me into the conversation, and he is always very pleased with himself after having done so.

I’m the hair of John Charles Daly, your panel moderator par excellence. I alternate between a comb over and a comb back. Either way, I’m shellacked in place with Brylcreem, a little dab’ll do ya.

I’m the long-lashed masks that the female panelists wore.

I'm the small chalkboard that is never quite big enough for many guests to sign their names.

I’m the cards with dollar amounts on them. I get turned over just to make the game interesting. After all, my maximum is $50.

I’m the evening gowns worn by the panelists. Without me, you wouldn’t dare be seen on that new-fangled box with moving pictures.

I'm Dorothy Kilgallen's missing chin.

I'm John Charles Daly's exquisite received pronunciation. You'd never guess from me that he's from Canada.

I'm Dorothy Kilgallen's favorite phrase: "You're not, by chance...?"

I'm exquisite clear handwriting for the mystery contestants' signatures. I will be unknown to all celebrities by the 1980s.

I'm the floating heart , worn by Arlene Francis.

I'm the Nudist Camp Manager.

I'm Bennett Cerf's total inability to butch it up.

Why am I being asked about fucking SUPERMARKETS , i'm NOT a bored suburban house frau.

I'm the cock waiting for Bennett Cerf after the show.

I'm the squeaky or rough or "foreign" voice contestants use.

I'M THE COMPLETE SILENCE ON THE EPISODE AFTER DOROTHY KILLGALLEN WAS MURDERED.

I’m the barbiturates Dorothy Kilgallen took that contributed to her OVERDOSE.

R13, South Africa

I'm Mrs. Moss Hart, I HATE filling in for one of these parvenues, knowing I am SUPERIOR to any one of them.

I'm giggling Phyllis Newman, absolutely thrilled to be one of the few WML? panelists still breathing, thanks to my portable oxygen tank.

[quote]I'm John Charles Daly's exquisite received pronunciation. You'd never guess from me that he's from Canada.

That's because he was from South Africa, not Canada.

[quote]I'm giggling Phyllis Newman, absolutely thrilled to be one of the few WML? panelists still breathing, thanks to my portable oxygen tank.

I'm Betty White. I made my first appearance as a "What's My Line" guest panelist in 1955.

Im the 5 dollar increment cards John Daly flipped for a "no" response

As a sidebar, several years ago, my bf found an auction on ebay that was auctioning off DOZENS of those chalkboards --- they used a new one for all those stars --- they were in some basement - the age made the chalk unsmudgeable ---- so he snagged the Peggy Lee - its surreal to watch the episode as she signs the board and glance at the very board next to the TV. goosebumps!!

r2 Stopette was a SPRAY deodorant.

R30, Stopette came in both a stick and a spray bottle.

Speaking of accents, I once attended an Episcopal service in NYC where the obviously gay reader read with a Oxbridge accent. Third Letter of Saint Jyn (John) and all that. I turned to the queen next to me in the pew and said "What a wonderful accent." Without missing a beat he replied, "Yeah, he's from New Jersey."

I'm the nerdy sons who tried several times to stump their parents.

I'm the dais that seems to be padded and covered in some odd fake leather. While I'm at it, I'm that odd padding that adorns Password and other shows of my era.

I'm a nun and I'm a dentist

I'm the time period in which women were called by their husband's name, not their own; just add Mrs.

I'm the diamond studded face masks the ladies wear.

When Eleanor Roosevelt was the mystery guest, John Daley provided the answers to the panelists' questions because her voice was too recognizable. I was disappointed that we didn't get to hear her affect a "funny" voice to answer the questions. Or maybe they could have given her Clarabell's horn: one honk for yes, two honks for no.

R29, you already made an appearance at R10.

GREAT story though. Jealous I never saw anything like that on eBay.

I’m the two people Arlene Francis killed.

I'm everyone's fake mid-Atlantic accent (except on Mrs. Franklin Roosevelt where it came naturally.)

I'm the mystery guest's new movie, "currently playing at one of the theaters on Broadway."

I'm John Daley throwing to a Univac commercial from the show's alternate sponsor, Remington Rand. The future has arrived!

^^Daly, that is.^^

I'm Bennett Cerf going crazy every time a hot woman comes on. He practically unzips if a young blonde in a low-cut dress appears.

I'm the mobster who murdered Kilgallon under the orders from a mob boss from New Orleans and with the assistance of Edgar Hoover. There is lots of evidence, but of course, it was covered up at the time. She got too close to the facts of the Kennedy assassination.

Kilgallen

I'm John Charles Daly. For god's sake I'm the man who first told all America we were in World War II. How did I end up like this.

I'm Arlene's question:

"Would I come to you for this service?"

I'm the audience member who moves from one live show to another. An hour ago I was in the audience of the Ed Sullivan Show a block away.

R50, you're a minx! I can't even get into one show with Mr. and you're at two?

I'm Dorothy's wiglet, making my first appearance in 1958. By 1964 I was teased to monstrous proportions.

And I was still on Dorothy's head the night she was poisoned and propped up......er, mysteriously found dead lying in her bed.

It’s a show from 1958, people!

Dorothy isn’t dead yet.

I’m the chalkboard on which Judy Garland printed her name.

Judy's mystery guest appearance was in 1967, and she plugged her appearance in the upcoming "Valley of the Dolls" by announcing, "I'm the only one in the book who doesn't take pills."

I'm announcer Johnny Olson, whooping, whistling and howling at the Mystery Guest's entrance before the audience even recognizes who they are.

I'm Gale Storm. The panel didn't even recognize me AFTER they removed their blind folds.

I was guest, Georgia Governor Jimmy Carter, and none of them knew who I was.

I'm John Daly, cutting mystery guest Margaret O'Brien's segment short; another minute of her actor-y shtick and I would've strangled her.

Well, why would they, Jimmy, in 1958?

I'm one of John Daley's unnecessary 'conferences' with the Mystery Guest.

REGARDING THE ABOVE LINK

[QUOTE]Carney's take on John Charles Daly is absolutely spot on, as is Betty Garrett's Arlene Francis. And don't miss what she's wearing around her neck-- very funny! As great as SCTV's "What's My Shoe Size?" takeoff of WML was, this sketch is a whole lot closer in spirit to the real WML and its cast. Features Dick Van Dyke (as Mystery Guest), Gloria Vanderbilt (as Dorothy Kilgallen) and David Doyle (as Bennett Cerf)

I'm Elsie, the overweight lady, that Jerry Lewis jokingly insulted TWICE about my weight. Yes, we all had a good laugh about it, because it was so hilarious. Almost as hilarious as the thought that the ridiculously handsome, svelte Mr. Lewis would ever have to battle with his weight… tick tock.

[quote] Gloria Vanderbilt (as Dorothy Kilgallen)

It was interesting to see Anderson's mother doing shtick. Of course she was ALWAYS a celebrity.

Impostor!

I'm the studio crew member whose hand accidentally gets into the shot while flipping the camera cards during closing credits.

I'm DL favorite, Mamie Doud Eisenhower, and the President and I never miss the show. After Ike and I have finished our Sunday dinner of meat loaf and canned potatoes with parsley, we settle down to watch TV which is built right into the wall of the West Sitting Hall in the White House. Sadly, we only have a couple of more years to live in the White House before those dreadful Kennedys move in.

I am Martin Gabel, Arlene's garden gnome husband. My frequent appearances on the WML? panel are such fun and the viewers love it when Arlene introduces me as "Mahhhtin Gabel".

My wife is such a babe that many are unaware that she's five years my senior.

I'm 1958 mystery guest Betty Hutton. My movie career ended in 1952. I appear to be not a little insane.

I'm Fred Allen. I'd been in the ground for four years by 1958, but I was still by far the funniest panelist the show ever had.

I am the thin shoulder straps valiantly supporting Miss Anita Ekberg's ample bosom so that there are no wardrobe malfunctions on this broadcast.

I'm $50 in 1958, which is $434..02 in 2018 dollars... and would be a lot more if you had invested that $50 smartly over a 60-year period.

I'm Dorothy's inability to say "Fort Lauderdale" at 1:46 in this clip.

I'm Dorothy Kilgallen pretending to be completely mystified by The Mystery Guest when I already knew who it was as soon as he/she walked in.

I'm the Mystery Guest whose natural maquillage made me perfect for the harsh lighting of early TV.

I was a mystery guest years before Lucille was, back in 1952.

We're Arlene and Dorothy, frantically trying to rearrange our false eyelashes after those goddamn blindfolds come off.

I'm the groans of the panelists when we learn that we have to put on the blindfolds twice for one show.

I certainly hope I stump the panel. I need the $50.00. That spolied bitch , BD needs a new coat.

I wish Steve would quit goosing my knee.

Everytime I go East , I positively have to book this show. They never seem to tire of me , and it pays for my room at the Sheraton.

I am the vintage Noo Yawk accent espoused by Bennett

I am the very prescient Kathryn Grant, who understands my true claim to fame so well and so early that I sign in as Mrs. Bing Crosby .........and that was how Bennett guessed me.

I'm Judy Garland's shaky hand as she signs her name on the chalkboard.

I am Kitty Carlisle, confident in my knowledge that my husband Moss Hart is completely heterosexual.

I'm Sylvia Sidney. As the former wife of Bennett Cerf, I know I'll never be invited to be the mystery guest.

We're Greta Garbo, Marilyn Monroe, Cary Grant, Clark Gable and, surprisingly, Mary Martin. We're the very major stars who never appeared on What's My Line? in spite of repeated offers.

I'm young Elizabeth Taylor. I displayed more of a flair for comedy in my turn as the Mystery Guest than I ever had the opportunity to do in my 40 years in Hollywood films.

I'm Charlton Heston. Wait!? You mean i was supposed to disguise my voice??

I am the radio version of What's My Line, which contains the only show appearances of Marlene Dietrich, Constance Bennett, and Marlon Brando.

I'm all the booze tucked away backstage for R84.

Arlene was lovely, pretty and quite charming. Did Martin have a giant cock ?

R92 It was a lavender marriage, darling.

That's something you would know all about, isn't it, Dot?

By 1965, Dorothy and Dick were not only sleeping in separate bedrooms, they were sleeping on separate floors of their townhouse.

[quote]I wish Steve would quit goosing my knee.

That's not me!

I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO MASTURBATE UNDER THE DESK AGAIN TONIGHT.

Don't believe a word, that was said about me in that gas pumping clerks book,,,he never checked under MY hood.

MEL BUSHMAN AWAITS...

GUESS I'M ABOUT 25 YEARS TOO EARLY.

Does everyone know that John Charles Daly's father-in-law - following his (2nd) marriage in the 1950s - was Chief Justice Earl Warren?

Yes, R100. John Daly dumped his first wife, Margaret, for the much-younger Virginia Warren. He always struck me as somewhat of a snob and a social climber, too.

I'm Arlene Francis, asking our Mystery Guest if she is currently starring in a motion picture that is playing in one of the motion picture houses on Broadway.

Thanks, R100. I did not know that. Cool trivia.

I'm occasional fill-in panelist Steve Allen, asking whether it's bigger than a breadbox.