Let’s be a bitchy male flight attendant!

"your" ? ...the so called trash is probably better educated than OP.

I am the attention he loves when all eyes are on him as he pantomimes the safety procedures.

I'm the curiously absent lack of shame at being a grown man working as a waitress.

I am the smug grin he gives to the passive-aggressive joke going over R1’s head.

I love you, r4

Ops pic would be fun to join the mile high club with him

I am all the sex.

All over the world.

I'm telling the woman who just lost her brother to a blood clot to stay seated for the entirety of the Hong Kong - Vancouver flight. Blood clots can form in the deep veins (veins below the surface that are not visible through the skin) of your legs during travel because you are sitting still in a confined space for long periods of time. The longer you are immobile, the greater is your risk of developing a blood clot.

Step off Biotch

That queen in OP's pic can be as bitchy as she likes, as long as she brings me my drink. Serve it, cunt.

R2 beat me to it.

I am his secret fondness for his tight dark-blue polyester pants that are part of his uniform. He loudly deplores them to his friends, but secretly he whacks off just thinking of how nicely they show off his ass .

I’m the flight attendant that lies and says we are all out of chicken, even if we are not. He just hates on you, because he can!

I’m the eye roll you receive when you point out that you never got your meal.

I'm the eye roll you receive when it's pointed out that you don't get a meal.

I'm the new drug resistant STD he's transporting from BCN to JFK.

I am the annoyed sigh when you ask him for cranberry juice instead of the ginger ale he just opened.

I'm the one chatting in the galley about my latest sexcapades clueless that a curtain does not block out the sound.

I live the Trash joke that goes over most Deplorables heads. Instead of coming by to ask if you have any trash to get rid of before the flight lands, they shorten it to "trash". As they go up and down the isle you can see which ones they call trash and which ones they use other wording. Its an inside joke, that's why they are smiling so much.

I'M THE BIG ELDER-BOTTOM WHO GETS SPECIAL TREATMENT AND FREE DRINKS BECAUSE WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER!! LOL! BLESS,BILL

I am Gaetan Dugas, and I love sex.

I am the "electronics off!" announcement he snits as passes you while you check your cellphone.

I am the handsome young male passengers he flirts with.

I am all the shit he talks about you in the cabin and after his shift.

Im the beer he grabbed as he popped open the door, extended the slide and said fuck you bitches.

I am the way he holds the speaker microphone, which he uses to make his big important announcements, that says "I'm the Queen Bitch on this flight, so you better don't mess mith ME, you pieces of trash!".

I am the smug look he gives to passengers who struggle to put their (way too big) big bags in the overhead compartments.

I am the outrage when you dare call him a stewardess!

I’m the one in the cock pit giving the pilot a blow job to help calm his nerves from intense turbulence.

I am the forced smile he shows a fat frau passenger who just cockblocked him by having an emergency issue that turns out to be a panic attack from seeing something that resembles a peanut, but is actually just a piece of potato in her potato salad.

I'm the one who really knows that I am a slightly luckier shop bottom who gets free flights. Unfortunately , I make shit and can't afford to take advantage. But I do get to look down on others and bring lots of nuts to parties.

I am the "Sir, SIR! / Miss, MISS! / Madame, MADAME!" hightened tone addressing human trash that's acting out and totally causing problems any second now.

I am the copious amounts of booze he is downing for free when you are not watching.

I am the great title that grants him so much more power (that was given to him instead of a pay raise). The airline promised him to get an Iron Throne delivered to each plane just for him.

I am the crashpad he shares with 3 or 4 other flight attendants.

I am his limited knowledge of international cities that revolves around a 5 km radius of any airport.

I am the A&F male model-air steward, servicing (in more ways than one!) crazy, OCD ex-CEO Mike Jeffries in his Gulfstream G550 private jet. Wearing my rulebook-compliant tight boxer briefs, A&F “Fierce” cologne and pristine white gloves. "Tri-folding" washclothes in his jet's toilet. Inanely checking the whole jet for fingerprints. Seating his 3 yapping dogs according to their "designated" hierarchy. And mentally screaming, "Kill me, please".

And, yes, I have read the 40-page ‘instruction manual re: dress and rules’ he diabolically devised for all his flight crew. The manual is truly anal. Both literally and figuratively.

I bet sometimes the crew would gleefully, conspiratorially break the rules & fold those toilet end squares *gasp*! Just to mess with Jeffries' OCD!

[quote] The Telegraph: “We now know the delicious details of what it takes to make it as a 'trolley dolly' on Air Abercrombie & Fitch. According to Bloomberg, the 'clean-shaven' actors and models employed to work on the company's Gulfstream G550 jet must adhere to the strict flight crew uniform consisting of Abercrombie jeans, polo shirts, boxer briefs, flip-flops and a "spritz" of the retailer's cologne, with a side note that coats were only to be worn when the temperature fell to 50 degrees or lower - don't want to conceal all that hard graft at the gym now boys, eh?

[quote] Black gloves had to be used when handling silverware, white gloves to lay the table; toilet paper must not be "exposed" and the end must not be folded square; 'Take Me Home' had to be played when passengers boarded for their return flights, while CEO Michael Jeffries's dogs - Ruby, Trouble and Sammy - had detailed seating arrangements depending on which of them was travelling.”

[quote] NY Post: "When Jeffries, 68, or boyfriend Matthew Smith make a request, the reply must be, “No problem” — not, “Just a minute,” or “Sure.”

[quote] Toilet paper must not be “exposed” and its “end square” should not be folded. “Washclothes are to be tri-folded.” The staffers, described as actors and models, were also instructed to check for fingerprints on the Gulfstream G550 jet, arrange fresh flowers, center salt and pepper on meal trays, properly fold seat-belt buckles.

[quote] When [dogs] Ruby and Trouble travel, Ruby will sit opposite Michael in the cabin, in Sammy’s seat. When Sammy travels, Ruby will sit in Trouble’s seat,” the manual says."

I am the married co-pilot he's fucking.

Poor R1. LOL.

R1 = trash

*fold those toilet [italic]paper[/italic] end squares!

(Revenge is sweet.)

I am the Diet Coke that always seems to be missing on his side of the beverage cart. “Do you have any Diet Coke on your side?”

I'm the closet queen who can't believe how great this job is as a cover. My clueless wife is at home with the kids while I fuck anything (male) with a pulse in cites all over the world.

I am the exaggerated heaving he does when he lifts your not-so-heavy carry-on into the overhead bin.

Not as bitchy as the female flight attendants and their constant crop dusting.

"My God, this whole flight smells like arse"

I'm the number of "That Girl" poses he strikes on the tiny jump seat. Squeeze those hairy moobs together, Baby.

"I'm a star, flying above all else!"

I am this little number.

[quote] I am the icy “Your trash” request he gives to passengers he hates!

I'm the Siberian minion paid to post dumb threads on DL.

I am R50, dragged kicking and screaming out of this thread.

Ugh, R49! You beat me to it. I love Almodovar's "I'm So Excited."

Everyone assumes I’m an insatiable bottom, but I’m a fierce top!

I pick my nose and eat it.

I'm the "see you next time" reserved for extra-cunty debarking passengers.

[quote] the way he holds the speaker microphone,

What's a speaker microphone, Boris?

I am the 20 days he has off in August.

I am the sigh of relief he gives when all of the nasty passengers deboard the plane.

Perfect picture of a bitchy male flight attendant, OP.

I am the almost pretty, but a little portly, black side kick you be laughin with up thar in the galley all flight long.... who got your back girl?

I am the hard cock he will ride during his layover in NYC

I am the loose, sore bottom he will have all the way over to LA.

Your ass isn't fashionably attired

I am the bitchy way he says “seatbelts fastened, please!”

[quote]Let’s be a bitchy male flight attendant!

I always assumed that everyone on the DL WAS a bitchy male flight attendant.

That’s an excellent way of viewing this place, R65.

I’m the hip check he gives the younger female attendant in order to service the potential sugar daddy in 1A.

I’m the “We are NOT a peanut free airline” notice on page 23 of the inflight magazine. He silently points to me when a mother demands the flight be diverted after a child in 17f drops a Reese’s Piece in the aisle.

I’m 15 minutes time off he has between the last passengers deboarding and the first ones boarding.

15 minutes R70? Where do you work?. Some of us would love to have that much time.

oh, uh....

I'm the stale crew sandwich that he tells the Captain to get on his own while he (BMFA) is up to his pierced nipples in garbage during the 3 seconds after deplaning before the Bitchy Male Gate Agent (BMGA) asks snarkily, "A re you ready to board YET?"

I'm the earphones that passengers rudely keep in their ears even when being asked a question, thus making said bitchy male flight attendant all the more bitchier.

I'm the passenger in 46C that asks "what do you have?", when asked if they'd like something to drink. After 46A AND B asked the same question.

I change the in flight movie to a gay porn movie. Then go ballistic when they find out what I did. Accidents do happen...

Let me show you how to ride the plastic slide, it's quicker.

I'm the video screen on the seat in front of you that suddenly stops working because I turned it off when you annoyed me. Enjoy looking at all the different airport layouts in the SkyMiles magazine to keep you entertained.

I am a crushed Xanax pill he's secretely putting into a glass of water to be given to a child who's been screaming its head off while its parents are too lazy to truly give a fuck.

My pussy is tighter than Hers!

I’m the extra bag of peanuts given to the gay guys on the plane.

I'm the elbow he brushes his cock on every time he passes. My owner is hot.

I’m the apology not given for bumping into me while reaching over me to give an extra bottle of vodka to the hot guy by the window who ordered a Bloody Mary.

Let's be bitchy DL posters reinforcing negative gay stereotypes because we are so witty and above being ridiculed.

^^Sure, start a thread.

Where was r82 when the target was Sumerian housewives?

Sumerian housewives will have to fight their own battles. I can't be expected to monitor all the trash posted on this site by our cretinous brethren.

I'm taking R82 off the invitation list to my next party.

Oh damn, R86, he's already been disinvited to the Regal Beagle in the Three's Company thread!

I’m the one who looks down on passengers that take up 3 seats. Lose some weight Biotch. Oh btw everyone will get their meal, but you. All we have left are pretzels. Now lose some weight.

WE'RE LANDING, WE'RE LANDING!!!

I’m the dramatic flight attendant that creates drama. I accidentally have the intercom system on as I say, ‘What we lost the wheels?’

I’m trained right hand movement which closes the curtain between the passengers and the front area. It is well trained gesture and shows who is in charge.

I’m a sight for your sore eyes.

WHo is that,R92?

I'm the realisation that I'm just a housekeeper / bar worker / shop bottom in the sky.

R49 and R52 beat me to it. I think of this movie fondly every time I fly, particularly when the demonstration is happening.

I’m the other gay flight attendant, the chubby one who perfected his blow job skills to compensate, who works with the original gay flight attendant and is judging R1 for being a fucking idiot.

I am his paid-off apartment: tricked out with the latest, thanks to the cash stream from the endless smuggled party drugs. You think they're just waitresses? Ha! A few earn CEO salaries.

This thread is why I love DL.

[quote]Sumerian housewives will have to fight their own battles.

May you suffer Euphrates Red Sphincter Pox!

It should be said, none of these statements pertain to the fellow in OPs photo, or any of the other gentlemen!

I’m responsible for your safety, not your comfort.

I was on an AA flight from JFK to Miami. The captain said takeoff was going to be delayed by 20 minutes. I unbuckled my seat belt and went to the lavatory to take a leak. This flight had three stewards and only one stewardess. When I went to open the door the lavatory I could hear one of the stewards say: I give you permission to use the bathroom. I laughed a bit but registered it as BITCHY. My friend says he was flirting.

I'm the jazz hands just itching to pop out during the in flight safety demonstration

Please put your fetus's in the overhead bin during take off and landing!

I'm the resigned sigh that has taken the place of informing anyone of regulations. It's not worth it anymore.

I'm the guy eating the unclaimed first class meal since there is no time to get real food in between flights.

[quote] I am [R50], dragged kicking and screaming out of this thread.

I am the other 235 passengers applauding, laughing, pointing, or videoing with our phones as r50 is dragged past our seat.

I'm the numerous rings and bracelets that adorn his fingers and arms.

I'm the new Delta uniforms that really do drape and show off (most) packages under the dim fluorescent lights

I'm the once-over given to anybody sitting in the emergency exit row to size them up and see if they're physically capable.

If the guy is hot, it'll be more than a once-over.

I'm the show tunes crooned over the intercom and the dramatic Vanna White–like wrist flourishes used during the safety drill.

I'm the regal F/A on Southwest Flight Number 660 last Monday 8/6/18. I will read you for filth just like I did the bitch in Seat 7C if you give me any grief about ANYTHING!!!

I’m the Instagram account with posts from all over the world and the $35,000 a year I make to support it.

I’m also the well-shaped ass the always seems to drop something in front of clearly gay passengers.

Also the same one the parks forever when the meals and drinks are being distributed.

Park = cock and ass at exactly eye and mouth level. Nose too.

We're the hot young female flight attendants for JAL, Aeroflot, Cathay Pacific, Emirates, and the like. Looking at the bitchy Yankee boy and old fat female flight attendants make us giggle.

This is my personal favorite in that genre, R13 -

I am the load of jizz secretly stowed away in his ass from last nights layover.

I am the Steven Slater reference made in the galley when I have HAD it with this group of passengers. Remain SEATED!!!

r116 Link fail.

R119 Sorry about that - does this work? www.instagram.com/bradyr03

Let's be a bitchy male flight attendant!- That's like saying Let's be a SOUR lemon!

Excuse me, bathrooms are for one person at a time. You and your little hussy girlfriend need to get back in your seats. I could report you , ya know.

(Over the intercom) I've turned on the fasten seatbelt sign. Some passengers have decided to take advantage of their bathroom privileges, and have ruined it for everyone. Please stay in your seats for the rest of the flight.

We're the relieved smiles of the victim-passengers as we see the shop bottom male FAs are being replaced by retired straight cops and firemen.

The same goes for the victim-patients of bitchy bottom nurses.

Grabs a beer before going down the slide..

I’m the personal ad placed in stopover cities offering “deep tissue massages. No sex!” After all, a boy needs spending money...

Still laughing at “Your trash”.

In June 2018 on a Delta flight from CDG to JFK asked the bearded, gay male flight attendant (NY-based, no less) if he could make a cafe au lait and he said "What's that?".

lol R127.

I am the unwashed pillow and blanket being handed over to the woman complaining about the draft and fumes from the A/C above her, and "no, a scent free, unoccupied single row isn't available."

I'm the women's church group from Dothan, Alabama. We hope that our daughters will marry a nice young man like the one in OP's photo. We have no idea he's gay.

What's the problem with these people? I took a Southwest flight from La Guardia to Denver that had a nasty Asian queen and an extremely rude mixed race bitch as flight attendants

Why do they take this job if they hate it so much?

I just had a bad experience with Southwest, r131 (and I usually love them). It involved a bitchy queen at the ticket counter.

I'm his shaved coin-slot, freshly bleached, leaking a bit from last night's load in Warsaw. Next load: Mexico City!

As the order of gender of WWII elevated the “stewardess” as the industry standard, men in a newly women’s profession during the homophobic panic of post-war America, was an increasing impossibility after the generalized simultaneous upheaval in social and gender relations. However, men eventually won the right to access the profession, even if it was done on the legal defense of straight men, and gay men of the 1970s took to the skies, but not without a great deal of resistance. In many ways, the labor of gay men was something preferable, as it was a long-term complement to a common gay lifestyle: transient, able to adjust to change, and used to leading a double life. They also, according to a 1970’s American Airlines recruiter, were more willing to work with and take orders from women and senior stewardesses, who were retiring or having children.36 They could see the world and never have to go home and face their families. The AFA (Association of Flight Attendants) included “sexual preference” as a protected portion of its workforce in 1980, even if the airlines did not do this until 1993.37 In 1982, another union, IUFA (International Union of Flight Attendants) won a victory seemingly for its gay rank-and-file: the extension of the spousal discounts on flights for husbands and wives of flight attendants to that of “buddy passes” for the unmarried. This is something that gay men needed, but the workers in the whole industry were also able to benefit from. The story that follows that of the gay flight attendant might be one that people are more familiar with, as AIDS and the Patient Zero narrative which follows, which Phil Tiermeyer bravely combats in Plane Queer, would rip this industry to shreds. “I stopped counting at 162” said one steward who was interviewed.38

I love OP's pic