I have crabs!!!!!

Yes, it is. And we want to hear all about it, ad infinitum.

You're just down with a case of Miss Baltimore Crabs!

Make crabcakes OP. They are delicious.

When life gives you crabs, make crabcakes.

When you lie with dogs, you get fleas, OP

Very easy to get rid of. Shave your pubes, buy some RID from the pharmacy.

You're a whore, darlin'.

Do I have to shave my pubes?

I’m happy with my bush...

Whore! Shave your head in shame!

Surefire way to get rid of them — dip your genitalia in hydrochloric acid.

No, just get rid and the comb that comes with it . Use the shampoo kill the crabs than comb out the eggs to be sure.

Unless you want to spend the next several months picking nits out of your pubes, shave'em.

And don't believe for a minute that pubic lice won't wander off into your leg hair and even head hair. I'd get a prescription shampoo and skip the RID.

Just trim 'em, OP - not a full shave

Actually, OP, you need to shave your pubes (and chest hair if you have it); wash your bedding in at least warm water, wash all clothes you've worn since your first ho escapade. Rid or A100 works, but slowly. A prescription med works better and more quickly. But it costs.

Gross, OP. Don’t spread that shit around. How old are you?

Well if the first trick you had gave them to you, then you proceeded to give them to the next four tricks. Hang your head in shame.

R15, I’m 28. This is only the second time I’ve had something like this. I’m usually pretty careful.This is worse than last time. I can’t stop feeling itchy, and I’m out with family right now.

You better inform each guy you were with, just in case.

Then you got them beofre your first trick this week. You've got a mess on your hands. If you don't do the washing and shaving you can reinfect yourself. Have fun, sweetie.

5 tricks in a week is how you're usually pretty careful? Or is it that you usually check them for bugs but got negligent last week?

Everything you've worn or come in contact with since the first "encounter" has to be washed in the hottest possible water. Things like pillows that can't be washed should be put into plastic trash bags and isolated for 48 hours (lice can't exists longer than that without a human host). RID makes a spray you could use on your mattress. If you don't shave everything, the lice are going to lay eggs in whatever hair they can find.

None of this advice is focusing on the eggs (nits), which is why you should shave. The shampoo doesn't kill them, so you have to pick out every single one before they hatch. Good luck with that.

UNCLEAN!!!

Grab the Raid and go to town

Are all millennials this unclean? I’ve gotten crabs twice from hooking up with two hotties.

If you're out with family right now, you need to inform them why you're itchy. They, like the rest of us, have the right to know.

Is your asshole itching too?

They’re currently into cumdumping, R24. Crabs are the worst of anyone’s worries.

Whore!

I’m jealous, OP! Crabs are expensive.

Whore is the least of it. Idiocy is the bigger sin.

Aren't you glad you aired your dirty linen (!) on DL, OP?

Put them to good use.

Just add lemon add lemon and drawn butter. Bon Appétit.

If you've been with five guys in a week

(1) I'd be more surprised if you DIDN'T have them

(2) You probably have scabies too.

(3) You're a whore, darlin'.

Miss OP.....is a HUMAN ROACH NEST!

She was NUDE!

Do you have chest or ass hair?

Be careful. They spread.

Tells us about each trick and where you did the deed. I am sure we can help you figure out which of them did this to you.

Off with the pubs. Hot water wash. If you have a hairy ass or chest they need to be hairless too.

OP, you an smother them with Vaseline. Leave it on for a few hours. You can also drown them by sitting in a bath, but you have to stay in the bath for about 8 hours.

Do you rim, OP?

The crabs might be crawling on your tongue.

Slut! At least whores get paid.

Wigs are made for situations like these.

"Be careful-they spread" = they crawl all over you until they attach to a hair shaft to lay eggs. That's partly why you're itchy.

Don’t they teach sex ed in school these days?

Even if they do, did they ever teach about crabs?

Not gay crabs, R43.

Gay crabs are different.

Shave. Just pay the piper and do it. Have your fuck buddy do it too and you two can cook up some pretend scenario about being abducted by aliens and anally probed

fuckbuddIES. 5 and counting.

Most millennials have body hair and hipster beards, so those suckers are all over the place.

Thank God I’m allergic to shellfish.

Imitation crab tastes better.

Slut!

Even I've never had crabs and I'm a slut.

That is so gross, OP.

You probably spread it to 3 other guys too.

Also, what city are you in, so I can avoid hooking up for a few weeks.

Probably Wrigleyville, R53.

Make that a few months. This assclown isn't going to follow through.

Am I the only one absolutely disturbed by the number of DLers who know exactly what to do in the case of a crabs outbreak?

Ok, I'll do what you guys recommended as soon as I get back from my Sunday afternoon trick.

Shave those pubes!

OP = nasty, stank bitch.

Okay, OP has had enough attention. If he can recognize that he has crabs and has had them before, he knows perfectly well what to do about them.

Don't forget to use the nit comb on ALL of your body hair. I've had eggs deposited on my leg and arm hair before.

[quote]OP, you an smother them with Vaseline. Leave it on for a few hours. You can also drown them by sitting in a bath, but you have to stay in the bath for about 8 hours.

And when he says bath he doesn't mean Steamworks, Offred.

You people are beyond disgusting.

OP probably spread crabs to his whole family by now.

OP is a crab dip.

OP’s pubes are a nest of activity right now.

I hope they don't get into his brain. What's your nose hair situation, OP? Those little fuckers are mobile.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but just what is on your iTunes?

Yes. But out of the 5 crab-infested tricks, how many were cut and how many were uncut?

So can you see crabs?

Watch the episode of Sex and the City where Charlotte gets crabs. They'll show you what to do!

Rock Lobster, R69

Go sit on all the toilets at Walmart so some Deplorables can share the itch.

I like the way r74 thinks.

Crabs take a couple weeks to appear.

Get together with the guy who ate too much McDonalds and start a youtube series. Apparently there's a big demand for your brand of "human interest story."

Still waiting to hear what city OP lives in...

I got them from a toilet seat once in a department store restroom in Pittsburgh. Had to use Rid, shaved my pubes and armpit hair (they attach at the base of the hair so you have to shave--hair on you head is a different shape so they can't attach there), washed everything in hot water, including sheets, other bedding, etc. I didn't know what was causing the itching and tiny blood spots in my underwear until I finally put 2+2 together. I was surprised as hell that I had them.

I know what you're going through, OP. I got crabs, but not through sex. I was at a party and ended up crashing in an empty bed. A week later, I was sitting in a public toilet stall and looked down and saw a freckle move. I pinched it, brought it up, and looked at it. It looked exactly like a micro crab.

Back then, RID was reliable and quick. Now, it's not so fast or reliable, since some pubic lice is resistant to permethrin. If you don't succeed with RID, go get a scrip for Lindane.

Lather your genitalia and body hair in coconut oil. The crabs with suffocate and die.

[quote] Lather your genitalia and body hair in coconut oil

R81, I do that every night! And without crabs too.

Are crabs a cis, white male thing or can they happen to anyone? Asking for a friend.

yuck

OP’s pussy stinks

Grab the melted butter!

OP can’t respond right now ....

5 guys? Ugh. That is gross.

Earlier this afternoon, on the skin on OP’s scrotum ....

5 men on 5-7 days?

Slut!

[quote] I pinched it, brought it up, and looked at it. It looked exactly like a micro crab.

That is actually the one cool thing about them.

Sorry, r79, but it's a myth that crabs can't attach to the hair on your head--or at least nobody has advised the pubic lice that they can't migrate to the scalp. They can and do. And this vaseline approach isn't going to work, either. Get the prescription shampoo, shave wherever you can and use the shampoo EVERYWHERE else. You'll have to remove all the eggs if you can; they take 10 days to hatch, so to be on the safe side you have to repeat the shampooing process to kill any hatched eggs that you missed. Pillows, hats, other things that can't be washed in hot water have to be bagged up for 48 hours. Get RID spray for your mattress and sofa cushions.

And tell everyone you've been near so they can treat themselves too. Little kids get head lice in nursery schools and day care (and it doesn't mean they're not clean) and they pass them back and forth, then the parents and teachers get them and the whole nursery school gets shut down while everyone gets treated simultenaously.

Check your butt hair OP. Is it itchy?

I call shenanigans. Crabs are not actually crabs, they are insects and in fact do not closely resemble crabs. OP’s trolling.

To whit:

Showing your ignorance, troll.

And it's to wit, not to whit.

Are young men this stupid and slutty these days? If so, expect them to create the next great STD very soon!

This is what they look like, R95, and indeed, like tiny crabs

R97, it’s a lifestyle.

#Cronutarrhea

Alex,

May I have the grossest thread on Datalounge for $1,000?

OP, why do you think I had you sit down and watch this educational video before you went out on your big date? Too little, too late for you but perhaps your Datalounge friends will get something out of it, maybe they actually CARE about morality!!!!

Exceot for the small detail that ACTUAL CRABS LOOK NOTHING LIKE THAT, r98.

OP = est

R103, people getting STDs = an EST?

Ewwww

How is one supposed to avoid crabs besides not having sex at all?

OP if you have this little nasty, you may also have AIDS. Please do get tested. And also get tested for gonorrhea, syphilis, and chlamydia. Also Hep C. Being the HO you are, you may have all of these diseases. And your magical PreP will do nothing to prevent any of this.

OP, I had this a while back too.

The RID and all the other medicines, didn't work at all, as others have said.

When I shaved my pubes and ass, it was all gone. Pubes grow back quickly, you know. Just do it.

i remember once actually boiling some under pants on the stove.

creepy lil suckers. and you DON'T know if you get them thru sex....cos you do not feel the bastardos til you are alone, laying in your bed, unable to sleep and all of a sudden wtf was THAT??? you find a 24 hr drugstore and you are up all night and day.....washing boiling scrubbing ....... throwing up

'Crabs' was my first STD, but I contracted it sans sexe. My younger female cousin and her boyfriend were visiting the city in which I lived and asked me to put them up for a night, which I did. They came during wintertime and I gave them some of the blankets I used to pile on top of myself to stay warm. When they left, I took back the blankets and started using them again. Apparently, that's how the 'crabs' found me. At this time, I'd never had any kind of sexual contact with anyone, so I was amazed at what had happened. I decided that 'the better part of valour' was not to embarrass my cousin, so I never told her. I'm sure she found out at some point that she had the 'crabs' herself, but not from me.

Head over to your local CVS or Walmart and get Blue Star ointment. I got crabs once from my bathroom gloryhole days in the 70's. Probably from sitting on the toilets, as gloryhole sucking rarely got your pubes tangled with someone else's pubes. Blue Star instantly took care of crabs. It does burn just a little, but consider that God's punishment for being a gay whore, like I was. Forgive me father, for I have sinned...

It’s not as gross as attaching a giant picture of a crab to your post.

Thanks for giving crabs to the rest of us, Corny OP.

Nastiest situation ever.

[quote]'Crabs' was my first STD

OP’s crotch:

R93 How'd you get a picture of Sacha Baron Cohen's ass??? Eeeeeeew!

OP = Wrigleyville Cumdump

OP, you can’t just shave it off. Nits cling to the base of the hair. You absolutely need to get an OTC lice treatment. After that, shave it all off (unless you like the idea of picking each dead nit out of your hair).

You better thoroughly check all of your hair, otherwise prepare for body lice. As others said, wash absolutely all clothing and bedding thoroughly.

Inform all partners from the past 30 days that you may have given them the gift of crabs. Jeep checking your ground zero. Sometimes the cleaning needs to be done for 10 days.

Cheers.

Make sure to comically itch in the drug store line while holding your RID box. Let the whole world know your shame.

R119, the problem is that the OTC shampoos don't kill the nits, so unless the OP picks them out they're likely to hatch and start the process all over again. Hatch time's about 10 days. Based on his posts, I'm betting the OP loses focus long before his problem is solved.

OP, just for laughs google head lice and go to the images. Pay special attention to the photos of children with live lice in their eyelashes. Lice are lice, and crabs are perfectly happy to lay eggs in your head, in your chest hair, eyebrows, whatever, if you don't take care of this.

R121 That’s why I said shave off all evidence afterward or at the least pick nits out. I’ve never had crabs, but I know just shaving it off risks those buggers clinging to the base of the hair.

Most people who report a failure with OTCs didn’t do aftercare which sometimes includes further applications.

There is always prescription strength too. Then we’d have to worn this mimbo about Lindane toxicity. (Kidding… sort of.)

Take some zoomed in video of them. I wanna see!

Y’all can stop slutshaming the OP. 5 guys in one week is not THAT bad.. you know you’ve all had wilder weekends..

R125 Yeah, there is no need for slut shaming (although the comical quip is always good for a laugh).

However, with great whoring comes great responsibility. The OP doesn’t seem to know even the basics about how to address having this. I hope he takes seriously the posts about how to nip this in the bud and not to get back to whoring until it’s completely gone.

R29 that is not a good crab salad recipe

Does this thread really give you an appetite, R127?

1. he probably got crabs form someone earlier than the 5 guys he slept with that week since it takes time to show up.

2. how is one "careful" in order to avoid crabs, other than staying clothed during sex??

Even staying clothed wouldn't necessarily do the trick.

The OP said he'd had crabs once before, so why is he in such a dither now? He ought to be an old hand at dealing with them.

Rub your junk against a crab trap like the one pictured. You can pick it up at Walmart. Or if no one's around, you can use it in store and save yourself some money. Hope this helps!

What do you use for bait? Raw chicken seems like overkill.

I've had crabs twice and both times I genuinely have no idea where I got them from.

A few treatments of OTC head lice shampoo sorted me out, though I made the mistake of shaving all my pubic hair off the first time. Never again. The itching as it grew back was worse than the crabs.

Aren't you on PReP?

OP, are they real crabs or just krabs?

[quote]I’m happy with my bush...

So are your crabs! 🦀

I fed them the lip filler which I had removed.

They left both Kim and me soon after.

Take a selfie of your bush and post it on DL, OP.

#CrabSelfie

Better still, take a video so we can see the little bugs moving around.

Go to Joes Crab Shack, buy one of their “We got the crabs” shirts, and wear it ironically.

Fill a bathtub with bleach and get in. It’ll kill the crabs after about a half hour.

Perform an interpretive dance to express your current woes.. maybe a crabwalk?

Go to a pet store & look for flea spray (the kind with trigger pump, not aerosol) whose ONLY active ingredient is fipronil.

Fipronil easily kills lice & crabs, and it's nontoxic to mammals. In most countries, it's the new first-line treatment for lice & crabs.

NONE of the officially fda-blessed treatments for lice & crabs work anymore. Malathion is preferred over fipronil in Europe, but that's only because fipronil is harmful to aquatic wildlife. If you have crabs, you don't *care* about environmental impact... you just want them to stay dead.

Lice=crabs. Why is this such a difficult concept? Does Fipronil kill the eggs? It has to specify on the label. If it doesn't, you're still going to have to pick every last nit out of your pubes, chest hair, whatever.

Btw, if you get into a bathtub to get the shampoo off, you will see lots of little louse corpses in the water. Just saying.

[quote]Aren't you on PReP?

If you ask me he should be on RAiD.

I caught them in my late teens - more than likely from an office chair I was sharing with another part time employee. I was still a virgin at the time. Just shaving my groin and ass completely clean and using RID on it got them to go away.

Good job, R146. Unfortunately, the OP doesn't want to sacrifice his bush, so it's going to serve as a louse hatchery until further notice.

OP, if you just got the crabs, you may be able to get rid of them before any eggs are laid. But hurry!

[quote] The female louse will mate soon after taking a blood meal. After gestating only 1 to 2 days, the female will lay her eggs - or nits - at the base of a hair, close to the skin. In a little over a week the eggs will hatch, allowing the emergence of an immature louse known as a nymph. After another 10 days, the nymphs will have matured into adult lice, capable and mating and producing more eggs

Shave and wear a merkin until it grows back.

Stop being a slut.

This thread is SO NOT Yummers!!!

Think I'll skip my church's annual crab boil this weekend

Thanks, OP. I hope you're up half the night scratching your balls.

What you need to do is find a new host for the crabs. The easiest way to do that is to hook up with a sixth guy. Then the crabs will leave you and go to the new guy's crotch.

Thanks for the tips. OP here, typing from phone, on my way to CVS to buy RID and do all of the washing suggestions.

To whoever asked, I’ve never had crabs before. It was something else. Feel like the world’s biggest slut, but oh well, at least this place is anonymous....

Yeah, except for that pesky IP address thingy, r155.

If all else fails and you will not just get a prescription.

Ivermectin is an oral medication that is used in other countries to treat crabs and many other diseases. It is not used much in the US but is safe.

It requires two doses. The initial dose followed by another dose one week later that kills any eggs that have hatched.

Here is the source. Go to a Veterinarian supply or Farm Supply store and buy a tube of Horse wormier. It is an apple flavored gel. You will have to do the math to calculate your dose but it is 200-250mcg/kg. For a 200 pound person that is about 19mg per dose. It is inexpensive.

You will have to still wash everything and disinfect cloths and bedding.

You can just google Ivermectin for crabs.

Ivermectin also is great to treat Scabies. Just two oral doses will do it. It is commonly used in nursing homes. Yes Scabies is not uncommon in Nursing Homes. You do not have to coat your body from neck to feet and leave it on 8 hours like other prescription treatments.

Ivermectin is an interesting new(er) treatment. I was surprised to see it mentioned. Not all docs will prescribe that but I suppose you can get veterinary meds. There have been a few studies on kids' lice going away with ivermectin - no need to do the endless shampooing and combing & re-checking. It's 2 courses 7-10 days apart I think, but you still have to wash all your bedding and towels, etc.

I am very hairy, so I caught them several times - and 2 times I wasn't sexually active (the first time I was 16!). Despite using RID multiple times, there's ALWAYS one last egg that can hatch and start the whole nightmare over again. So, in most of these situations, I finally had to shave. However, my hair, when growing back, left me with 6 months of ingrowns. It was pretty disgusting. So, the last time I got them, I used a very close guard on my clippers and then trimmed everything down as close to the skin as possible without shaving. Then, I inspected every inch of my body multiple times a day, every day, for any signs of eggs or lice. I had to shine extremely bright light (I literally tilted a floor lamp onto my pubes and ass hair with a mirror) - and took tweezers out & pulled any hair that had an egg. Or I just pulled the egg off.

It was a fucking nightmare. I haven't even gotten into the laundry either... so much stuff not supposed to be washed in hot was not doing so well after the fiasco. In the future, I'm just doing ivermectin if I ever get it again.

Been with 5 guys this week. May be time to re-evaluate the choices you've made.

OP buying crabicide at his local WalMart

OP, do you even remember your tricks’ names, or do you just refer to them as Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday?

OP, do not hesitate to go for prescription strength if RID fails, but stick with reapplications for a week before trotting to the doc. A good scrubbing, washing all bedding and clothing, and plucking out dead nits and/or shaving should do th trick. (Don’t forget, these critters may hump to other body hair!) I felt compelled to state the ritual once more.

HAPPY TRAILS.

Meant to say *JUMP to other body hair.

But ya know, humo works even better.

Hip hip, happy trails!

I have nightmares over making a spelling error on the very word I was attempting to fix on a previous spelling error. Is there anything worse?

Maybe crabs.

So you can take ivermectin ORALLY and it will kill lice, crabs, etc.? I'd think you'd have to use it topically, no?

Dear Lord in Heaven!

I'd go with a cocktail approach... fipronil to kill them instantly, followed by two doses of oral ivermectin a week apart to keep killing the hatchlings until they're all gone.

Florence Henderson got crabs from John Lindsay back in ancient times.

Try drawn butter. I hear it is good with crabs.

You're getting really terrific advice from DL, OP. Exactly what you deserve. Always a good idea to go with veterinary meds and take a crack at figuring out the proper dosage.

Whatever you do, don't go to an ER or outpatient facility or a dermatologist and get reliable medical advice and a prescription.

[quote] Whatever you do, don't go to an ER or outpatient facility or a dermatologist and get reliable medical advice and a prescription.

Crabs are not a medical emergency. Why would you go to the ER for that? His co-pay could be $1000 and he would learn absolutely nothing from the ER physicians other than to use RID and pull the eggs off. Likewise, there is no need to see a dermatologist or any doctor. There are many over the counter treatments, and shaving your body hair and picking the nits off is all any doctor can tell you anyway. If you have a severe, resistant, case (rare) then a doctor can prescribe lindane (rarely prescribed - banned in CA) - but it's very toxic. Ivermectin is given to humans (Stromectol) and the dosages are easily calculated by anyone with a calculator who does not need an MD. Any doc can give it but most are not trained to do so for crabs / head lice. A pediatrician might be the only one familiar with it because it is more often given for head lice in kids.

Resistence is NOT ‘rare’. It’s now the standard. Nothing over the counter works anymore. NOTHING. The only way is a complete shave and digging out the remainder.

[quote]A lice-killing lotion containing 1% permethrin or a mousse containing pyrethrins and piperonyl butoxide can be used to treat pubic (“crab”) lice. These products are available over-the-counter without a prescription at a local drug store or pharmacy. These medications are safe and effective when used exactly according to the instructions in the package or on the label.

[quote]Lindane shampoo is a prescription medication that can kill lice and lice eggs. However, lindane is not recommended as a first-line therapy. Lindane can be toxic to the brain and other parts of the nervous system; its use should be restricted to patients who have failed treatment with or cannot tolerate other medications that pose less risk. Lindane should not be used to treat premature infants, persons with a seizure disorder, women who are pregnant or breast-feeding, persons who have very irritated skin or sores where the lindane will be applied, infants, children, the elderly, and persons who weigh less than 110 pounds.

If you ask a doctor for Lindane without trying Rid first, I doubt you'll get it anyway. You cannot get it in CA at all. shaving isn't even 100% effective because they will cling to the 1 hair you missed or lay eggs slightly below where you

[quote]Resistence is NOT ‘rare’. It’s now the standard. Nothing over the counter works anymore. NOTHING. The only way is a complete shave and digging out the remainder.

Source please??

No one cares about your problems, Repulveda.

are crabs actually tiny crabs? that's both bizarre and gross.

-Ewww... please wear your scarlet A when at the gay bars until the last critter is gone. Don't spread nothing but your legs.

Dear imbecile at R177: they are lice. LICE.

Technically, pubic lice ARE slightly different from head lice... though they're more "body lice" than "pubic lice". Head lice apparently don't like short hair, and body lice prefer hair under clothing (or something like that).

Airbnb

Acela.

I feel itchy just reading this thread!

[79] I live in Pittsburgh. Help!

Yinz got crabs, R184

Well, that really is a problem.

They are a bitch to get RID of, hopefully the sex was good.

Please. He can't even identify which of the 5 tricks is the culprit.

R175, I can't find the source now, but somewhere at PubMed is a paper published by a professor from the University of Miami med school circa 1997 where they documented lice that were still alive & moving 24 hours after being put on permethrin-soaked gauze in a jar.

Permethrin is now basically useless against American lice.

Your mom must be so proud OP!!

If you have been with 5 men this week you probably have more than just crabs.

Crabs are a fact of life for a time. You don't have to inform anyone you've been with. What ancient morons here. If some dude has crabs he'll figure it out soon enough. My uncle told me that back in the eighties gay men kept the crab shampoo in their medicine chest and just used it every time they fucked. Because they took 5 guys a night! So the pollyannas here are just old whores who survived AIDS. That explains a lot about the ancient white men of Datalounge when you think about it. Spent half a life on their stomachs in tube socks taking strangers loads and now spend all day arranging their spice cupboard and telling men how to live.

Rinse your no-no area with gasoline!

Is KWELL still the best remedy?

How much would they have to pay you to fuck R192?

After you shave, hose yourself down with apple cider vinegar WITH MOTHER. That is supposed to get rid of the glue that makes the eggs stick. You'll smell terrible but it's not like you'll be getting it on with anyone.

Why does something like pubic lice have to exist? Seriously.

R197, Frauthena, the Greek Goddess of fraus, created them to keep husbands and sons from having too much filthy sex.

They are God's judgment for your sins. Filth! Filth!

R199 Thats a rather odd thing to say, even for you Bootsie.

I think the OP died from crabs.

Even I had them. Penance for lying about my age to some young stud.

A note of warning: permetherin is highly neurotoxic to cats if ingested. They can safely be around permetherin treated fabric once it has dried but don't let the wet stuff around your pussies!

Shave half your crotch, then set fire to the other side. When the crabs rush out, fleeing the flames, stab them with an icepick. Easy-peasey.

well done, R204.

You're a whore, darlin'.

[quote]My uncle told me that back in the eighties gay men kept the crab shampoo in their medicine chest and just used it every time they fucked.

Did he tell you that while feeding treats to Mitzi, Joel?

You need to get a crab predator to take care of them. I think that turtles probably eat crabs. Get a turtle and make sure he's really hungry. Then let them graze. In no time you'll be clean as a whistle.

[quote]are crabs actually tiny crabs? that's both bizarre and gross.

They are not crabs at all. And they look nothing like crabs. They are not even in the same phylum.

Who the fuck are Joel and Mitzi?

Marry me, R208.

Thanks R189! Genuinely impressed to see a real, logical, fact-based answer from someone on DL. Not being sarcastic.

[quote] And they look nothing like crabs.

Of course they do, hence the name. See R98.

OP, please tell me you haven't hooked up with anybody since!

[quote]And I don’t know who gave it to me! I’ve been with 5 guys this week!

One of the five guys gave you crabs. And if it weren't the fifth guy who gave them to you, then you gave crabs to the guys who followed and then indirectly to those with whom they had sex.

You're a crab-giver. You're ground zero.

Or he got it the preceding week and simply didn't notice the itching right away. How many guys THAT week OP?

You're not special, OP. I had crabs the last time I went to Red Lobster. Get over yourself.

OP = the Gaetan Dugas of crabs, R215

And then just think how many other guys those 5 guys probably had sex with...

Did OP survive her ordeal?

Sadly, OP did not survive. However, he donated his body, and all the little crab bodies, to science. They are going to name a new wing of UCLA hospital after him and the crabs.

Can Jewish guys get crabs?

Yes, R222. The crabs wear yarmulkes though.

OP, I recommend you pair them with Pinot Gris or dry Riesling.

Good news everyone! My crabs are gone. My pubes don't itch anymore! Thanks for the suggestion, and it's all just in time for my trip to Montreal. It's been too long since I've had sex.

What day do you fly back home?

I can’t imagine contact tracing because of crabs. What benefit would it be to them, to contact your tricks of the last week with this news? What would they do after and as a result of hearing the news?

I’m an eldergay now, and had my day in the sun, but [italic] no one [/italic] has ever contacted me to advise me that they might have given me an STD. It’s just not done.

Somebody put Montreal on high alert.

I hope the OP gets bedbugs in his shitty motel.

Montreal is already reporting a crabs outbreak.

All internet-driven hookup sites have been disabled while OP is in Montreal.

Nasty OP

I knew someone who was a MD who said they were infected with those from a grand central station toilet seat.