Why does everyone hate Hellmann's Mayonnaise?

I love it

I find it too f’in sweet. I prefer a more tart taste to mayo otherwise my sanwhich can end up tasting like a damn desert.

I love Hellman's! It's Miracle Whip and its store-brand cousins which are so disgusting.

Well, she refused to remain present on the craft service catering table when Archie Panjabi was dining between takes, so there’s that.

When she was waiting for the divorce between her man Heinz and his ex wife, she wore a label with a recipe on back for “a low cal Catalina.”

Are you confusing it with Miracle Whip R2? Hellamann's isn't sweet at all.

In a now-deleted tweet, Hellman’s said: ‘Italian brotherhood & planet of the grapes had a baby=vg referring to Vinaigrette dressing.

Hellman's or Best Foods (west coast) is in the top tier of Mayo. Unless you get all pissy and go the aioli route. Miracle Whip is very sweet and awful.

She said her commercial spot was “a little sexist” and “It paints the condiments as shrews, as humorless and uptight, and it paints the foods as lovable, goofy, fun-loving guys . . .

And then she adopted a baby soy sauce.

She’s jealous as HELL that all the sexy roles go to Cool Whip, while she gets the frau ones.

“Cool sleeps with the boss” she quips.

Cool Whip is a tramp!

One day when Harrison Ford was shopping at Whole Foods, she appeared dressed as a dominatrix and began whipping Ford with a twizzler until Carrie Fisher who was nearby, had to intervene. Video footage caught her exclaiming “ I feel like a faggot” at the end of the prank.

When they needed to price check her at checkout, the other groceries on the conveyor belt started to groan and cat call her for being trouble and holding up the line. She shot them all a don’t mess with me look and yelled back “Cash me ousside, howbow dah?"

Then she released a rap single called “These Greauxeries”

While on a morning talk show cooking spot, she was asked about the recent scandal she had been involved with concerning Unilever stock. She got defensive and said “I want to focus on my SALAD!”

I prefer Best Mayonnaise over Hellmann's any day!

“Don’t you wanna bad bitch like this? Drop it low pick it up, just like this?”

It's just industrial product made from government-subsidized Deplorable State ingredients.

When asked what her opinion was on Miracle Whip, she had this to say:

“It feels reductive” "Is that good?" The interviewer asked.

"Look it up," Hellman’s answered coyly before taking a sip from her teacup.

When asked what she thought of TJO (Trader Joe’s) she smiled, shook her head emphatically and exclaimed “I don’t know her.”

When asked about her starring role with Chicken of the Sea tuna she said 'I have no idea if she's an ingredient or not. But I'm sure it will all work out...It's a good start'

When the subject of Hellman’s departure from the series was discussed: 'Does COS Tuna convince you to stay for another season?' Hellman’s was asked by the moderator of the show's panel discussion.

'What does that mean? I don't understand the question,' wondered the blue ribbon winner.

Hellman’s then seemed incapable of explaining further with words, opting instead to laugh slightly and roll her lid in an exaggerated fashion.

I almost always buy generic/store-brand alternatives of food items, but after trying store brand mayo once, I never did again. I'm committed to Best Foods. Although Kraft isn't bad. I tried Duke's once (mostly because all of the hype on DL) and didn't see anything special about it.

Kraft and Heinz have merged, and it seems strange that they're bringing out versions of each other's products. Heinz Mayo anyone?

Mayochup?

Hate Mayo, love Miracle Whip

Hellmann's is what we native New Yorkers swear by. To this very day, my cousin won't use anything else for her potato salad.

Every claim made by Hellman's Mayonnaise is a lie, including "and" and "the."

My mother would only use Duke's.

Hellmann's is fucking delicious. Sadly I don't eat much stuff with mayo in it anymore, but when I do eat mayo I'll be damned if I'd use anything else.

I've tried some other brands in the past and found them to be FUCKING DISGUSTING.

Hellmann's and Peanut Butter sandwich! Please try it before hissing.

Nope, just hissing.

R28 can I mainline that directly into my arteries.

Hellman's is OK if I'm traveling and can't find Duke's or Blue Plate. Homemade mayonnaise is really yummy as well.

Duke’s is the only white creamy substance that will go in my mouth.

What about béchamel?

There's Hellman's Ketchup now. Excuse me, Hellman's REAL Ketchup.

R33, that sounds so un-American!

Its the white sauce in lasagna.

I think it has something to do will Nell Carter, OP.

If I can't get the pasteurized eggs to make my own I will only use Hellmann's. If only they switched from soy oil to a non GMO canola or safflower or peanut oil I would never bother to make my own. I don't think any kind of sweetener is one of the ingredients in Hellmann's. I finally got some Dukes and hated it. Best is Hellmann's so if that's the one you like than you like Hellmann's. It's only the label that's different. Kraft wasn't too bad. I don't know if it's been changed now.

Sadly my home made mayo has way more fat and calories than Hellmann's since I double the yolks and then have to add lots more oil for the same size portion as Hellmann's but it sure is good and thick. It keeps about a month so I try not to use too much at any given time. I make about a pint container full at a time and like I said, use it over about a month - 5 weeks. Since the raw egg in it is pasteurized it has a much longer life.

I hate people who make their own mayo. They are so pretentious and prissy. Want nothing to do with their mess.

Hellmann's will not cut its conscience to fit this year's fashions.

R39 Mayo is a kind of sauce. Many people make their own sauces. Salad dressing is a sauce. Don't 50% of people make their own salad dressing? Tomato sauce?

I love Hellmann's; I was raised on it. Miracle Whip is awful.

East coast. Have never seen Duke's as an option. Would love to see if it's better.

It’s on sale at Marketbasket: $2.99 for 36 ozs. Good price for the only mayo worth using.

Lobster salad with Hellman’s is the only way to make it, too. I tried Duke’s and was not moved. It’s OK but not as good. Lobster is cheap now, too. They’re molting or something.

Duke's. Thread closed. Why do we have to go over this every few months?

While on air for a morning show cooking spot, Ms. Hellman’s began the segment by interrupting the chef to say, "Excuse me one minute."

After clasping her colleagues' hands in hers, she continued, "Something has been on my heart for a little bit, and after much prayer and counsel, I feel like this is the right time to tell you that this recipe is moving in another direction , and I will not be participating in the finished product.”

That, and she refused to help Lisa Rinna make sandwiches as part of a challenge on The Apprentice, and got her fired.

After a recall the boss declared her “lunchbox poison.”

“SRIRACHA!! Bring me the AXE!!!”

At The Best Foods board meeting, the board of directors suggested that the widow Mayonnaise would give up her role as brand ambassador, for a more supportive, behind the scenes role.

“DON’T FUCK WITH ME FELLAS, THIS AIN’T MY FIRST TIME AT THE PICNIC!”

On the red carpet, Hellmann's refused to wear a teal ribbon to support #MeToo.

She said two ribbons was “busy”.

Hellmann's froze out Aunt Jemima after Jemima gave her the side eye.

No hate here, I love it. Oh and btw, Duke's sucks. It's just greasy and salty, but not in a good way.

I think you can still get Dukes on Jet.com. That's where I found it.

I make my own because when I eat soy I get itchy and a rash. Every major commercial mayo uses soybean oil, including Dukes. It must be the cheapest oil around. I tried the organic ones that use other oils and they suck and are more than twice as expensive, so you pay dearly for that suck quality. I said if Hellmann's started to use another oil that wasn't GMO I'd be happy to put away my immersion blender for other things and use Hellmann's.

Even when mayo says it's olive oil mayo read the label. It's still mostly soybean oil with a dab of olive oil thrown in. It only takes about 2-3 minutes to make mayo in an immersion blender. It's not like I slave over it. I just use a lot of a healthy oil that's a little on the expensive side. I'm not trying to impress. I'm the only ones who eats it or knows I make it. I don't cook or prepare food for anyone but myself.

R53, you’re buying Duke’s off the internet? It’s in every grocery store where I live. Very popular.

It’s great as lubricant

Hellman is a slut.

When I told her to scram because she’s unhealthy, she did not take it lying down. She shoved the corn dogs off the shelf and made a getaway to the door. But not until she brawled with me (off camera).

....

All I said to her was “welcome to Bang Kok” at the airport, and she LOST IT AND WENT BALLISTIC!

The Mexicans in my area seem to love McCormick's Mayonesa. I don't know why it's such a big deal with them, since it's an American brand that never was popular with Americans (unlike their spices and other products.)

Duke's > Hellman's > Blue Plate

Does Dukes have dookey in it?

[quote]The Mexicans in my area seem to love McCormick's Mayonesa. I don't know why it's such a big deal with them,

It's cheap and probably sells well in Mexico, so they just bought it and became used to that becoming the taste of mayo. Each brand has its own small differences and you just get used to one or the other. That's why I like Hellmann's the most -- it's what we ate in our home.

^ not "becoming", being

I find it gross.

It’s the only I use.

Hellmann's is fucking delicious. My favorite mayo.

This is a new article but since I found this thread in a search, I thought I'd just add it to this thread instead - it is relevant (but on a broader topic of mayo overall).

Yes, I actually did a search!

Mayo has no taste, Miracle Whip for me

Miracle Whip is a legitimate condiment, different from mayonnaise. It is called "boiled dressing," and is a starch thickened sauce with added vinegar, sugar and eggs.

Hellmann's isn't great if you have good taste buds. If you do have good taste buds, you'll notice that the predominant flavors are salt and vague acid, followed by an oily, fishy rancidity that puts me off. My German family didn't eat much mayonnaise, mostly mustard and ketchup and horseradish.

Hellmann's, along with many name-brand foods in supermarkets these days, is very overpriced. And I expect younger generations are happy to explore other condiments and sauces.

Heinz has recently started selling mayonnaise in the US.

I don’t discriminate...I use what’s on sale...the store brands are just as good.

[quote]Heinz has recently started selling mayonnaise in the US.

Which is weird, because they merged with Kraft, which already has a well-known and popular mayonnaise.

I am a big fan of Lemonaise.

I raise my own farm fresh eggs and press my own oil. Anything else is unacceptable.

Is R74 one of those insufferable Beekman Boys cunts?

I have my personal chef Jean-Claude follow his grandmother's recipe for proper French mayonaise, which he makes once a fortnight using my own farm fresh eggs and pressed oil. Anything else is inaccetable, as they say in France.

Mayonnaise is taking over the supermarkets!

I went to my local MartOfWalls (I know, I know. But I live in a small town and that's basically all there is.)

I was looking for some Chipolte Mango salad dressing. I'd say almost 1/2 the salad dressing section was Mayonnaise. This brand, that brand, light, extra superduper lite.

Almost the rest of it was Ranch.

I never knew such a small town would need that much Mayonnaise and Ranch dressing.

Hellmann's is a fine-ish substitute when Duke's is not available. And only when.

Bring out the Hellmann's and bring out the best!

Miss R79 is OLD if she remembers that!

My ex swore by Hellmann's and thought that Miracle Whip was crap. I made some cold tuna macaroni salad using MW and he thought it was fantastic.

Miss-79-here. I am old!

Hellman’s makes me sick for some reason. I use Kraft.

DL people don't hate me for this. When I was about 9 years old there was nothing to eat in the house and I was hungry so I went to the refrigerator and took out a jar of Hellmann's Real Mayonnaise opened it and plunked a tablespoon in and ate a BIG BLOB of Mayonnaise!

Hellmann's has an extra creamy version which, if one goes by the ingredient list, has extra eggs. They are the second ingredient rather than the third. It does taste somewhat richer.

You really must try Kewpie Mayonnaise. It is made with egg yolks only, where most commercial mayonnaise is made with whole eggs. I get it in Chinatown.

Hellmann's is made with whole eggs and egg yolks.

Today I eat Vegannaise.

It's the only mayonnaise I eat. Anything else is imitation.

Hellmann's mayonnaise is on the East Coast.. Best Brands mayonnaise is on the West Coast. It's the same product.

[quote] Best Brands mayonnaise is on the West Coast. It's the same product.

Oh, DEAR!

Ah shit... I've been "Oh DEARED"... ooopsy.

I can't believe I'm reading a thread about mayonnaise.

I can't believe I'm out of Hellmann's Mayonnaise when I might get my hands on some heirloom tomatoes at the farmer's market tomorrow. Now I have to walk to the damn grocery too and I have a really bad knee. I wait all year for those tomatoes to come in and I have to once a year have them on soft white bread with gobs of Hellmann's and some salt and pepper.