Let's be a Daily Mail Headline

I’m the fat, ugly celeb being touted as “gorgeous and bikini ready” by the DM’s either blind or snarky writers. I haven’t figured it out yet.

"Popular TV star Chrissy Metz sports a slimming and sexy black strapless bandeau top and capri pants as she enjoys a heaping cup of artisanal gelato in Rome." (Lead caption)

I am trim pins being flaunted in tangerine pumps and denim shorts!

Caitlyn Jenner flaunts her pretty manicure and shows off her slim pins in skinny jeans while pumping gas in Malibu

I am the sex appeal oozing out of the TOWIE cast member.

I am the grimace on the face of some random woman in a story about a fight between neighbors on the British edition.

I am the dozen mispellings in a ten-word headline.

I am the "hilarious" discussion on Mumsnet reprinted verbatim.

I’m the 400 pictures accompanying one gelato-eating story.

I am the middle aged mom on the cover of Femail,featuring the shocking confession that I regret having children. Even though I am terrified of hurting my kids feelings I make sure that my name and children's picture are printed, along with the lines "I Wish They Had Never Been Born".

I am the bikini body and pert derriere on a 57 year old televison actress from the 90s.

I am Jennifer Garner's children grimly trudging to church with their mom while Pa Affleck lurks in the background eating ice cream.

R2 and R4 Get this thread.

You're supposed to create a daily mail headline, not be the headline.

This one is different!

I’m the “male nurse” who fell into the Grand Canyon and died. WTF - is this 1980 with the gender shock? Focker.

I am the person who doesn't think Britain should leave the EU. I should be shot / hanged / crushed under a wall.

The Crown's Matt Smith seen smoking [bold]suspicious looking cigarette[/bold]

Lily Allen seen smoking suspicious looking cigarette

Miley Cyrus seen smoking suspicious looking cigarette

How a Corbyn Election Victory Will Ruin Your Middle Class Life, Give You Cancer and Slash The Price Of Your House. See Pages 1-96

Kristen Stewart seen with a gal pal

2013 headlines when she was out but not out out

Aren't Middle Aged Middle Class Women LOVELY?

Corbyn Will Make ALL Our Children Gender Neutral.

Cristiano Ronaldo brushes lips with stunning girlfriend (beard)

How To Spot If Your Neighbour Is A Brexit Traitor - And How You Can Kill Them LEGALLY!

WHY OH WHY OH WHY OH WHY OH WHY ISN'T IT 1954 ANY MORE???

Corbyn: "No British Family Needs To Own More Than ONE Pony"

Fifteen signs you're eating sandwiches the WRONG way

TRAGEDY as five member family is slaughtered in $18 million home

Lovebirds Celebrate Fairytale Engagement on Yacht off Nikki Beach.

Saint Tropez: a manly Justin Bieber flaunted body hair, tattoos and white cheeks in low riding board shorts while leggy fiancé and social media personality/model Hailey Baldwin goes topless.

"Real Housewives star _______ shows sideboob in VERY revealing outfit"

Justin Bieber's ex STUNS in a sheer nightie while shopping in Tesco

A Throwback Thursday Photo of Justin's Fiance Looking Like the Doppelganger of her Dad Steven at 18. What a Cutie!

DRAMA Before Bieber's Big Step: Can Justin Have Children?

Can you spot the sleeping kitten in the pile of dirty laundry?

This photo of a cleverly camouflaged kitty is the latest brain-teaser to drive the web insane!

Kanye BROKE but spends 200K monthly. Kardashians plotting intervention as Kim continues in denial.

"Rioters from local council estate grab designer trainers and hoodies as policewomen are overwhelmed by the fury of the frenzied crowd." (First caption)

Somalian mother of 16 refuses to leave £2.8m house paid for by LABOUR council.

Swans go missing from local pond after Irish Traveller 'music' festival.

"Prince George seems a sturdy little man as he wildly wields his first cricket bat for the delighted crowd." (Lead caption).

Ivanka Trump beats the summer heat in a slimming neutral mini dress and flattering bosom-hugging chiffon

Ageless beauty Heidi Klum and toyboy Tom papped in lusty embrace

Not liking the Royal Family gives you cancer - OFFICIAL!

Taylor Swift and new boytoy go on a romantic date

(accompanied by 100 nearly identical, non-descript, unremarkable, repetitive photos of them simply getting out of a car)

Sara Jessica Parker looks fresh and glowing as she sports a casual chic ensemble on the streets of NYC

(accompanied by photos of SJ Parker looking haggard and worse-for-wear, wearing mismatching pajamas as she steps out to collect a newspaper from her front porch)

Hillary takes dramatic fall in lady friendly Greek Resort of Lesbos

International model-actress [insert name here] enjoys her vacation onboard a super-yacht and frolics in the Mediterranean waves

(translation: ex-model, ex-actress who is now escorting internationally in London, Marbella and Dubai is busy at her work shift, servicing some old billionaire and his friends on his Mediterranean yacht)

EU BOSSES DEMAND CHANNEL ISLANDS IN RETURN FOR BREXIT!

Miranda Kerr goes out for vegan avocado ice-cream, flaunting her long pins

Miranda Kerr opens the door of her eco-friendly electric car, flaunting her long pins

Miranda Kerr does yoga and folds herself into a human pretzel, flaunting her long pins

Miranda Kerr sneezes after rejecting flu vaccination, flaunting her long pins

100 more headlines like this every week

(Seriously, did Kerr agree to screw DM's head editor to get so much yellow press coverage? She was a DM regular headline even in the years after her divorce from the washed-up actor and before she married the tech billionaire. No other Victoria's Secret model gets that much DM attention.)

Ariel Winter displays her pert derriere and ample bosom in Daisy Dukes and a crop top as she unloads her groceries

More, please! I'm laughing so hard.

So many of those posted could be REAL ones. 😂

"Fresh Faced Meg Ryan Steps Out in a Leggy Display With Ever-Puffin' Boyfriend John Mellencamp"

"All Eyes on Alana 'Honey Boo Boo' Thompson as She Makes a Splash in Alabama Water Park"

I'm the famous mudshark.

Jennifer Lawrence opens up about THAT photo At the Vanity fair Oscar Party

The Family That Slays Together - Kim Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian show solidarity to attend Kanye concert whilst showing off their remarkable curves in spandex dresses and perspex stilettos...

I had such hope for my headline as I scrolled down the thread...until r52 posted THAT response

Flesh Eating Gypsy Ebola Spiders Living In Our Sewers...

Bleary eyed Liam Gallagher leaves nightclub with white substance in nose.

I am the very big and round derriere, dressed in a miniscule thong, that belongs to an Instagram "star", famous only because of... her very big and round derriere.

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Why as a gay man I think gay rights have gone too far.

Demi Lovato: Hitmaker soaks up LA sun in sultry swimsuit as friends laud "stunning" recovery just months after overdose

Hilary Duff shows off INCREDIBLE after-baby body in a pretty turquoise dress as she enjoys a day at the petting zoo with her adorable baby daughter.

Chrissy Teigen hits back at vile trolls who branded her 'disgusting' for posting photos of a used tampon

Newly-married Jude Law makes first talk show appearance since getting hitched to stunning scientist girlfriend and gives VERY cheeky response to Ellen Degeneres as she brings up THOSE speedo photos.

Leonardo DiCaprio narrowly avoids awkward run-in with ex girlfriend (insert name of your choice) at Cannes Film Festival

Bradley Cooper is every inch the doting dad as he enjoys low-key family outing with adorable daughter and stunning fiancee Irina Shayk

George Clooney's glamourous wife Amal stuns in dramatic purple gown as power couple lovingly gaze into each other's eyes at Cinema For Peace gala

Abuse most fowl! Dwarf boy, 3, think's he's a chick after Lesbian gal pal couple keep him locked in a CHICKEN COOP

Malia Obama seen smoking suspicious looking cigarette.

Malia Obama seen holding a bottle of wine.

Malia Obama seen dancing provocatively at a music festival while smoking the suspicious looking cigarette.

A group of cheeky Albanian immigrants sleep rough outside police station.

Mum says 'cruel' Amazon Alexa ordered peanut butter sandwich for highly allergic daughter, 8, after asking the device to search for nut-free alternatives

These are funny!

"Ageless Helen Hunt Goes Makeup-Free as She Steps Out at Starbucks in a Flirty Jogging Outfit"

"Abbondanza! Cutie Chef Rachael Ray Shows Off New Curvier Figure, Denim Style as She Arrives at Heathrow"

Emily Ratajkowski stuns fans by wearing a shirt.

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Trans activists attack homosexual website Loungedata for fuelling hate: heavily medicated users respond they live for cock, just not on 'fraus'.