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Let's be a Daily Mail Headline

I am the blonde suburban hausfrau on the cover of the health section. My 4 crotchfruit and I all have some weird,probably fabricated disease that no one has ever heard of.

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 7211/20/2020

I’m the fat, ugly celeb being touted as “gorgeous and bikini ready” by the DM’s either blind or snarky writers. I haven’t figured it out yet.

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 107/10/2018

"Popular TV star Chrissy Metz sports a slimming and sexy black strapless bandeau top and capri pants as she enjoys a heaping cup of artisanal gelato in Rome." (Lead caption)

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 207/10/2018

I am trim pins being flaunted in tangerine pumps and denim shorts!

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 307/10/2018

Caitlyn Jenner flaunts her pretty manicure and shows off her slim pins in skinny jeans while pumping gas in Malibu

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 407/10/2018

I am the sex appeal oozing out of the TOWIE cast member.

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 507/10/2018

I am the grimace on the face of some random woman in a story about a fight between neighbors on the British edition.

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 607/10/2018

I am the dozen mispellings in a ten-word headline.

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 707/10/2018

I am the "hilarious" discussion on Mumsnet reprinted verbatim.

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 807/10/2018

I’m the 400 pictures accompanying one gelato-eating story.

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 907/10/2018

I am the middle aged mom on the cover of Femail,featuring the shocking confession that I regret having children. Even though I am terrified of hurting my kids feelings I make sure that my name and children's picture are printed, along with the lines "I Wish They Had Never Been Born".

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 1007/10/2018

I am the bikini body and pert derriere on a 57 year old televison actress from the 90s.

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 1107/10/2018

I am Jennifer Garner's children grimly trudging to church with their mom while Pa Affleck lurks in the background eating ice cream.

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 1207/10/2018

R2 and R4 Get this thread.

You're supposed to create a daily mail headline, not be the headline.

This one is different!

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 1307/10/2018

I’m the “male nurse” who fell into the Grand Canyon and died. WTF - is this 1980 with the gender shock? Focker.

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 1407/10/2018

I am the person who doesn't think Britain should leave the EU. I should be shot / hanged / crushed under a wall.

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 1507/10/2018

The Crown's Matt Smith seen smoking [bold]suspicious looking cigarette[/bold]

Lily Allen seen smoking suspicious looking cigarette

Miley Cyrus seen smoking suspicious looking cigarette

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 1607/10/2018

How a Corbyn Election Victory Will Ruin Your Middle Class Life, Give You Cancer and Slash The Price Of Your House. See Pages 1-96

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 1707/10/2018

Kristen Stewart seen with a gal pal

2013 headlines when she was out but not out out

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 1807/10/2018

Aren't Middle Aged Middle Class Women LOVELY?

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 1907/10/2018

Corbyn Will Make ALL Our Children Gender Neutral.

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 2007/10/2018

Cristiano Ronaldo brushes lips with stunning girlfriend (beard)

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 2107/10/2018

How To Spot If Your Neighbour Is A Brexit Traitor - And How You Can Kill Them LEGALLY!

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 2207/10/2018

WHY OH WHY OH WHY OH WHY OH WHY ISN'T IT 1954 ANY MORE???

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 2307/10/2018

Corbyn: "No British Family Needs To Own More Than ONE Pony"

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 2407/10/2018

Fifteen signs you're eating sandwiches the WRONG way

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 2507/10/2018

TRAGEDY as five member family is slaughtered in $18 million home

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 2607/10/2018

Lovebirds Celebrate Fairytale Engagement on Yacht off Nikki Beach.

Saint Tropez: a manly Justin Bieber flaunted body hair, tattoos and white cheeks in low riding board shorts while leggy fiancé and social media personality/model Hailey Baldwin goes topless.

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 2707/10/2018

"Real Housewives star _______ shows sideboob in VERY revealing outfit"

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 2807/10/2018

Justin Bieber's ex STUNS in a sheer nightie while shopping in Tesco

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 2907/10/2018

A Throwback Thursday Photo of Justin's Fiance Looking Like the Doppelganger of her Dad Steven at 18. What a Cutie!

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 3007/10/2018

DRAMA Before Bieber's Big Step: Can Justin Have Children?

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 3107/10/2018

Can you spot the sleeping kitten in the pile of dirty laundry?

This photo of a cleverly camouflaged kitty is the latest brain-teaser to drive the web insane!

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 3207/10/2018

Kanye BROKE but spends 200K monthly. Kardashians plotting intervention as Kim continues in denial.

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 3307/10/2018

"Rioters from local council estate grab designer trainers and hoodies as policewomen are overwhelmed by the fury of the frenzied crowd." (First caption)

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 3407/10/2018

Somalian mother of 16 refuses to leave £2.8m house paid for by LABOUR council.

Swans go missing from local pond after Irish Traveller 'music' festival.

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 3507/10/2018

"Prince George seems a sturdy little man as he wildly wields his first cricket bat for the delighted crowd." (Lead caption).

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 3607/10/2018

Ivanka Trump beats the summer heat in a slimming neutral mini dress and flattering bosom-hugging chiffon

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 3707/10/2018

Ageless beauty Heidi Klum and toyboy Tom papped in lusty embrace

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 3807/10/2018

Not liking the Royal Family gives you cancer - OFFICIAL!

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 3907/10/2018

Taylor Swift and new boytoy go on a romantic date

(accompanied by 100 nearly identical, non-descript, unremarkable, repetitive photos of them simply getting out of a car)

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 4007/11/2018

Sara Jessica Parker looks fresh and glowing as she sports a casual chic ensemble on the streets of NYC

(accompanied by photos of SJ Parker looking haggard and worse-for-wear, wearing mismatching pajamas as she steps out to collect a newspaper from her front porch)

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 4107/11/2018

Hillary takes dramatic fall in lady friendly Greek Resort of Lesbos

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 4207/11/2018

International model-actress [insert name here] enjoys her vacation onboard a super-yacht and frolics in the Mediterranean waves

(translation: ex-model, ex-actress who is now escorting internationally in London, Marbella and Dubai is busy at her work shift, servicing some old billionaire and his friends on his Mediterranean yacht)

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 4307/11/2018

EU BOSSES DEMAND CHANNEL ISLANDS IN RETURN FOR BREXIT!

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 4407/11/2018

Miranda Kerr goes out for vegan avocado ice-cream, flaunting her long pins

Miranda Kerr opens the door of her eco-friendly electric car, flaunting her long pins

Miranda Kerr does yoga and folds herself into a human pretzel, flaunting her long pins

Miranda Kerr sneezes after rejecting flu vaccination, flaunting her long pins

100 more headlines like this every week

(Seriously, did Kerr agree to screw DM's head editor to get so much yellow press coverage? She was a DM regular headline even in the years after her divorce from the washed-up actor and before she married the tech billionaire. No other Victoria's Secret model gets that much DM attention.)

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 4507/11/2018

Ariel Winter displays her pert derriere and ample bosom in Daisy Dukes and a crop top as she unloads her groceries

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 4607/11/2018

More, please! I'm laughing so hard.

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 4707/21/2018

So many of those posted could be REAL ones. 😂

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 4807/21/2018

"Fresh Faced Meg Ryan Steps Out in a Leggy Display With Ever-Puffin' Boyfriend John Mellencamp"

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 4907/21/2018

"All Eyes on Alana 'Honey Boo Boo' Thompson as She Makes a Splash in Alabama Water Park"

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 5007/21/2018

I'm the famous mudshark.

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 5107/21/2018

Jennifer Lawrence opens up about THAT photo At the Vanity fair Oscar Party

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 5207/21/2018

The Family That Slays Together - Kim Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian show solidarity to attend Kanye concert whilst showing off their remarkable curves in spandex dresses and perspex stilettos...

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 5307/21/2018

I had such hope for my headline as I scrolled down the thread...until r52 posted THAT response

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 5407/21/2018

Flesh Eating Gypsy Ebola Spiders Living In Our Sewers...

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 5507/21/2018

Bleary eyed Liam Gallagher leaves nightclub with white substance in nose.

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 5607/22/2018

I am the very big and round derriere, dressed in a miniscule thong, that belongs to an Instagram "star", famous only because of... her very big and round derriere.

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 5707/22/2018

bump

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 5805/15/2019

Why as a gay man I think gay rights have gone too far.

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 5905/15/2019

Demi Lovato: Hitmaker soaks up LA sun in sultry swimsuit as friends laud "stunning" recovery just months after overdose

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 6005/15/2019

Hilary Duff shows off INCREDIBLE after-baby body in a pretty turquoise dress as she enjoys a day at the petting zoo with her adorable baby daughter.

Chrissy Teigen hits back at vile trolls who branded her 'disgusting' for posting photos of a used tampon

Newly-married Jude Law makes first talk show appearance since getting hitched to stunning scientist girlfriend and gives VERY cheeky response to Ellen Degeneres as she brings up THOSE speedo photos.

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 6105/15/2019

Leonardo DiCaprio narrowly avoids awkward run-in with ex girlfriend (insert name of your choice) at Cannes Film Festival

Bradley Cooper is every inch the doting dad as he enjoys low-key family outing with adorable daughter and stunning fiancee Irina Shayk

George Clooney's glamourous wife Amal stuns in dramatic purple gown as power couple lovingly gaze into each other's eyes at Cinema For Peace gala

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 6205/15/2019

Abuse most fowl! Dwarf boy, 3, think's he's a chick after Lesbian gal pal couple keep him locked in a CHICKEN COOP

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 6305/15/2019

Malia Obama seen smoking suspicious looking cigarette.

Malia Obama seen holding a bottle of wine.

Malia Obama seen dancing provocatively at a music festival while smoking the suspicious looking cigarette.

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 6405/15/2019

A group of cheeky Albanian immigrants sleep rough outside police station.

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 6505/15/2019

Mum says 'cruel' Amazon Alexa ordered peanut butter sandwich for highly allergic daughter, 8, after asking the device to search for nut-free alternatives

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 6605/15/2019

These are funny!

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 6706/20/2019

"Ageless Helen Hunt Goes Makeup-Free as She Steps Out at Starbucks in a Flirty Jogging Outfit"

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 6806/20/2019

"Abbondanza! Cutie Chef Rachael Ray Shows Off New Curvier Figure, Denim Style as She Arrives at Heathrow"

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 6906/20/2019

Emily Ratajkowski stuns fans by wearing a shirt.

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 7006/20/2019

bump

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 7111/20/2020

Trans activists attack homosexual website Loungedata for fuelling hate: heavily medicated users respond they live for cock, just not on 'fraus'.

by "My Children and I Will DIE if exposed to Tap Water"reply 7211/20/2020
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