My blind date

Yes, OP, that's exactly what I thought.

I'm in tears. This is fkin hilarious. Thanks OP. I needed this today.

OP, just curious what do you look like. I hope you aren't trolling. This is truly a hysterical story.

Did he say he was there for the lemon party?

OP, instead of bolting, you should have presented hole.

I know a guy who is 62 and looks good for 62 but tells people he is 46. Some younger people believe him because they have no frame of reference. So maybe he thought he could "pass," OP.

My first reservation would have been him identifying himself by wearing a green blazer, though.

OP says the guy was going to be in a light green blazer, but the second he sees a lime green blazer, he bolts.

You sure it wasn't a light green Blazer, OP? You seem easily confused.

As soon as OP bolted, this guy walked through the door.

Hysterical.

The guy OP mistook for his “date.”

I'm in my early 40's and it cracks me up/infuriates me when these dudes show up on grindr, scruff and obviously look like they are in their 50s-60s and list that they are "42"

That seems to be a popular age along with "49"

Here's a tip- what we look like in our 40s in 2018 is MUCH different than what 40s looked like when you were actually that age.

We are not stupid so stop lying.

^ the billionaire Shakes McHenry

OP I’m dead at the death glare comment lmao

[quote]He said he was 51 but looked in his early forties and would not provide a pic because he was discreet.

bully on you for even doing this, you fool

Internet dating is so much fun

OP I am not surprised, that is if the guy who you saw was the man who you met online.

Your first mistake was agreeing to meet despite how this guy did not show a current picture of himself.

It's 2018, everyone either has a mobile phone that can take pictures or knows someone else who does.

Unfortunately, I agree. It was my own fault for agreeing to meet the guy without seeing a picture first.

"I said LIGHT green, not LIME green! I wouldn't be caught dead in some tacky lime green thing. And now I won't be caught dead in you either, OP!"

Dating is horrific. The prospect of being single and alone is starting to feel comforting after the whole notion of online dating, apps, etc.

Yeah I'm which is Ox35 in hexadecimal. Do I look my age - nope. Actually it's hard for people to tell to be honest. Both sides of my family aged really well if they survived the cancers etc. because they smoked like chimneys. I saw it as dangerous and never bothered to smoke. I'll leave it to you to convert hex to decimal though.

OP Are you blind?

Yeah, but the guy at R18 is not 51 but looks in his early 40s either.

I meant light not lime

Maybe had had a lot of cash for you in that lime green loafer or blazer. Maybe the heavy bag of cash was why he couldn't walk properly. Tsk, tsk, OP could be rich if he had a little more patience and a little less death glare.

Lucifer-What?

Guess he thought you sounded desperate, OP, so you'd want to suck on anything.

[quote]stopping to give him a death stare before I left.

Unlikely to have penetrated his thick cataracts.

To relate to your story a little, I loved watching those To Catch a Predator episodes on YT, and those guys would lie like crazy. Some really delusional 70 year old told the kid that he was in this 30's. It was hilarious what some of those men looked like - sloppy, old, fat, gross, but they were zippadeedohdah to the house to have sex. Mirror, what mirror? And so many lied about their ages, to someone that they thought was 12-13-14. I guess they're so horned up that they will say anything to meet up hoping that a kid will welcome the old grandpa with open arms/legs.

I think your date was one of these dreamers.

^^Correction - the guy was 68 and told the kid that he was 28! Look at this mess. Oh, honey, no!

I thought a blind date was was traditionally set up by mutual friends, and the datees have just never met before.

Meeting someone you don't know off the Internet (pic or not) is just old-fashioned whoring.

And why did you meet in "a store". Was it Ikea?

There was some story about an older woman a few years back who decided she really wanted sex so she'd go online to hook up with guys. She was at least in her 60s but claimed to be a lot younger. When she met the guys, they'd sometimes be mad or upset at her lies. But they all still fucked her.

The flaw in this story is that OP believes that it somehow excuses his own douche nozzle behavior.

You go up, speak to the person, and determine whether it is the person you were supposed to meet. If so, you politely say that their description doesn't match, You don't get drawn into a debate. You don't negotiate. Simply say, you don't think they're a good match because they weren't honest and then leave.

R32, what do you think stopping and giving him the death stare were for?

OP, you passed up a date with the legendary golfer Sam Snead, who was wearing his Masters Tournament green jacket that he won in 1952.

Op, you got there 15 minutes early and the old guy got there a few minutes later. What if your real date got there on time?

Exactly R32 I have met up with men from online for basically blind dates, after we had exchanged photos, and in the cases when I knew we were not compatible I just told them sorry this isn't going to work out.

May it haunt the OP forever that lime green guy may not have been the date he was waiting for. It's not like green is such a rare color that only one person could possibly wear it. Light green guy made a narrow escape when he came in after OP left.

Also some poor old guy (who was not the OP's date) was left wondering why this schmuck was glaring at him.

Maybe some day they will meet again in THIS thread?

That video at R29 is fucking hilarious! He was trying HARD for that 28! That old, hard of hearing, tissued-skinned, turkey-necked fool! He should have been sent to jail for lies alone!

OP your story was funny too but I’m waiting for the inevitable thread from the other guy’s perspective in which you’ll be fat.

R40, it would be funny if the guy he was supposed to meet posted and said how he went to the coffee shop and said how he was stood up by OP.

I always feel somewhat ill after watching any TO CATCH A PREDATOR clips, like at R29 ...partially because it just seems wrong to derive entertainment from watching someone's else's VERY uncomfortable destruction.

I mean, Yes, the criminals are gross, and damage lives, but...putting them on TV so we can all delight in their humiliation is kind of like public execution.

It always makes me feel bad.

Where does Joel fit into this story?

I put my new fake teeth in, polished my cane, and used up one whole alcohol swab to clean my glasses, all in the hope he'd polish my knob.

[quote]I immediately bolted for the door, stopping to give him a death stare before I left.

Did you at least get a doggy bag? Mail it my way, mah man!

Should we feel sorry for OP for living in an area where guys are scared to put their faces on social media? sounds very red statish to me.

[quote]putting them on TV so we can all delight in their humiliation is kind of like public execution.

They’re put on TV as a warning to others, including naïve parents who assume their kids are just doing their schoolwork on the internet. In addition, as a warning to the kids about what type of true creeps are out there.

OP, sounds like from his age that death stare killed him. Murderer!

The poor, fine DLer who was rejected at the "store" can perhaps draw strength from Melissa Gilbert's own strugles with aging, body image, etc.

Never lie about your age, and never say things like “but I look xx years younger!” Let others be the judge of that.

When people ask my age, I ask them to guess. I know people flatter by 2-4 years to hedge their bet, but still, no one has gotten within 10 years yet. It’s fun telling them the truth that way.

Psst R50, spill your secret.

Is it the refreshing and invigorating Madame Helene's Mint Julep Masque, so beloved by the DL skincare queen?

What I take from those Predator stories and from the men who lie about their age, looks, etc. is that once a man's cock gets hard, all thinking/self-preservation goes out the window. To meet someone sight unseen, to wander in public parks after dark, to use Craigslist to find hookups, to put an ad saying "my door will be unlocked and room dark, but come on in", to troll for a child on the internet and have the balls to come to their house... testosterone is the devils hormone. It makes guys too stupid to keep it in their pants.

I marvel at those predator guys, who all say to Chris Hansen "I don't know why I came here to this house where I thought a 13 year old was home alone". Not one of the will say the truth - my cock runs my life and I was horny and hoped I could get a child to have sex with me. Same with this blind date guy - he was looking for sex and would lie to get it. /rant over/

Fuck that simpleton OP.

[quote]Psst [R50], spill your secret.

Wear sunscreen on your face every day, even in winter, even on cloudy days. For best results, start when you’re 23. Or earlier I guess, but that’s when I started.

Miss Thang walked in after you huffed out, OP.

There's nothing worse than someone saying, "Guess how old I am!' Yeah, we get it, gramps, you're amazingly youthful. But people are generally polite and never going to guess how old they really think you are.

Dear Bitch

Fanks for standing me up.

Luv, Jon

What would you have done if this guy showed up as your date!

And 3 seconds after OP bolted, the entire Starbucks burst into uproarious laughter.

“That was a good one, McNulty! That prank works every time! Did you see the look he gave you?”

R58 Pointed out he's wearing the wrong jacket.

I think it’s so funny when guys think they are so stealth and then wear shit like light green blazers. It’s so Aaron Schock I can’t stand it.

OP, you are feckless in the feckless cunt game. Your first reaction to a wizened date shouldn’t be to bolt but to work your way into his will.

I've never lied about my age. It's all over Google anyway. I'm 58 but I get the bitchiest looks and remarks when I tell my age to women. Recently I went all silver grey hair and it made me look younger(something about the contrast?) but I still say 58. (Amazing Japanese colorist). I hear a lot of "your parents must have good genes" and x-ray eyes bore into my head to see if I have extensions.

So now I give up. i stay away from age discussions.

What the fuck are you babbling about, R63?

[quote]What the fuck are you babbling about, R63?

I swear I love DL. There isn’t a day I read it that I don’t laugh my ass off!

R42, I know the feeling. People who I grew up with and went to elementary school, and Jr. highschool and graduated highschool with wound up becoming pederasts/hebephiles, sexually abusing people, and they showed no warning signs. Except the one guy did talk a lot about sex in Jr. highschool but this is common, and he would do this around anyone even adults, and teachers at school. I remember in highschool he said how his mom showed him porn at a young age, and I really hope he was not sexually abused by her. The crazy part is that myself and my friends used to go to his house a lot growing up since he had videogames, and his mom had books about men's penises and asses just sitting out for anyone to look at the pictures of nude men. I am not a prude and grew up seeing the human body nude and knowing about the human body but it's not a good thing for a parent or friend's parent to introduce young kids to porn like this.

[quote] Your first mistake was agreeing to meet despite how this guy did not show a current picture of himself.

What if you're a famous actor? Asking for s friend.

OP, I can understand how you must have felt.

OTOH, you will never know what a beautiful thing you and Paw Paw could have had

I'm a teacher. Would you show your face right off when the kids may be on there? They are. I block them. I will send one in a message.

OP, you stood up DL fave BILL TAYLOR!

Die in a grease fire!

R30, Or worse yet . . .

[quote]What if you're a famous actor? Asking for s friend.

Hi, Mr. Travolta at R67! 🤚

R32, your comment is the best ever. We're all hysterical here. Thanks for the laugh!

My 40th high school reunion was just last Saturday. I didn’t go. Turned out to be for the best because none of my friends went and the ones that did weren’t people I palled around with.

But the kicker was how unrecognizable everyone was. There’s a FB page for my high school and the pics were posted over the weekend. I think I figured out who ten of them were and about 100 people showed up. My class aged really badly.

bump

You made a date with someone who said "I'll be the one in the lime green blazer" ???

R32, that was a great piece of advice. I know it is disappointing when someone does not live up to their description, but I would be comfortable enough to make sure that it's them before l walk out.

r76 cuts to the chase.

If this story is true...why run off. I'd stay and have a drink with the old guy and talk about the weather. (You had an hour of free time at this point anyway.) I'd politely say I wasn't interested in hooking up. You don't even have to say why; he'll already know. Even if he didn't get sex out of the meeting, it still would have made his day.

Any chance the guy was rich?

R76– I’m 41 and am happy with the money I make to put up with a lying geriatric

Obviously R79 is me that OP

OP, are you drunk?

[quote] I’m 41 and am happy

Not if you're trolling the internet, and coffee shops, for blind hook-ups ...

[quote]Not if you're trolling the internet, and coffee shops, for blind hook-ups ...

Well, we really don’t know if his hookup was blind, but when he told the story, I pictured the guy with those gigantic old man sunglasses on. So he could’ve been.

OP, let me caution you to think twice before giving the death glare to a guy with one foot in the grave, no matter what he's done. I say this as someone with experience in unintended consequences.

The old guy is probably delusional due to some form of dementia.

OP stated that he was 41. They're both OLD GUYS, so what's it matter? OP should have stuck around, they both could have gummed each other and drooled & babbled like the ancient relics they are. What was he expecting? Actual sex - at his age???

You shouldn't have left so quickly. He could have done some pretty amazing things to you with his cane.

R65- This discussion is about lying about ones' age, right? In order to score, right? then getting disappointed when you're lied to? you understand 58 is my age, right? i'm female right? or you missed that? what's confusing you? my grammar, english, sentence structure or some mistaken idea that I am/have an old pussy? Think I'm a dog? Do you?

still confused? my point was that lying about your age is useless with google blasting it to the whole world. Ask away if still confused about my babbling. I was happy with this thread before the spoilsports showed up. I still think OP did the right thing.

Did someone say OP was old at 41? I married a 35 year old doctor at 43.

OP, you are not old. Don't listen to this nonsense.

OP, he meant a quicklime green blazer.

I met a guy for coffee off a dating site and his pictures were easily 17 yrs old. I asked him when he graduated college and he acted Ike he couldn’t recall as it was so long ago. but the funny part was he later emailed all mad cuz I asked him a question over coffee which he felt I should have know as he covered it in his pages long profile which I didn’t recall or likely didn’t even read. it was super narcissistic and he wanted to go out again if I would work on what he disliked in me (he said he liked my looks.) I wrote back he obviously didn’t use sunscreen and he should know he looked way older than his pics and what he claimed was his age. it seems epidemic lying...saw a profile of an ex who is 61 saying he was forty three!

Imagine the old man....busting a fat nutt in your mouth.

R50- I was trying to say what you did so concisely. Never lie about your age. Makes you look like you have no confidence. The problem is if I say I’m 58, they’ll think I’m lying anyway and am 65!

Then you must look 65, R93. Now go away and stop babbling. No one gives a shit.

OP you passed up your chance to get a rich sugar daddy, back to the salt mines!

My neighbour is a fit healthy 67 and a hoot to be around, but he still looks like a man in his sixties. How do you know they'll think you're lying R93, if you never lie about your age?

And I have fucked a lot of tv actors and one film star because I agree to meet without a photo.

I also mostly fuck hot married guys, yes there have been some seniors and obese dudes, but I just say, not move on and get that hot married ass.

I have a fuckbud who is 56 and claims to be 43. He has a fat 9-inch rock hard dick and cums a lot. Nobody says anything about his delusions. They are in it for the dick.

R97, are you in the wrong thread?

OP-This teaches us a lesson. After the first 50 answers or so, you get a large percentage of trolls and fools.

R94-Muriel warned about things like you. Good ol’ ignore button. You keep talking, ok?

R94-Anti-female troll.

R94-Early dementia hitting hard.

I'd be willing to bet that the elderly gentleman would never accept a date with someone his own age because "he's too old."

Actually, OP, your date was a brilliant young impersonator. He saw you through the window and decided to,disguise himself to avoid dealing with you but still say that he had honored the appointment.

I too am sort of waiting for OP to come back saying he got a message from the guy asking what happened to him and that the older guy was just someone random who happened to be wearing green.

OTOH, like the rest of you, I see so many older guys trying to pass themselves off as decades younger. It's like "the last time you were 49,. Bill Clinton was president."

I suspect a lot of them do it because you can set an age filter on Grindr and they don't want to be eliminated.

R42/R52 what I've never understood about TCAP is; why do the predators stick around for a debrief so willingly? I have never seen a one of them try to hide their face or run out of the building when they notice the camera on them. Are they just so jaded and resigned to their own degeneracy? And why are they so comfortable discussing it over a coffee-table with Chris Hansen like it's just a friendly neighbourly scolding about being drunk at a BBQ?

R107, most of the guys think Chris is a cop. Especially when he says “cop-like” things such as, “show me your hands,” and “have a seat. Sit down.”

Some have run out, only to be nabbed outside, and others are just too shocked. He had a behind the scenes of a sort and mentioned this. He said even he was surprised at the beginning that people would stay and talk. If you notice, whenever they ask, “who are you?” he’ll deflect the question with “we’ll get to that a minute.”

A million years ago I did the same thing. I met a guy without a picture who claimed to be a model. I sat through 20 minutes of excruciating small talk with a model who looked like Mason Reese minus the cute smile.

Anyone else picture Hans Moleman as OP's blind date?

Light Green vs Lime Green?

Any savvy gay man with impeccable fashion flair would not be caught with a man wearing either shade of green.

I thought your BLIND date would have told you he'd be using a red and white cane.

R109, I guess we're supposed to know who Mason Reese is.

R113, there is a very active thread about Mason. I’m guessing that’s why he made that reference.

I won’t spoil it for you, I’ll let you laugh when you click.

I did a personals blind date decades ago and on the phone without prompting he said “and I have a full head of hair, full head of hair.” He was totally bald and I quickly left the coffee date and he followed saying “where’s the fire.”

Only a hipster or an old fart would wear a lime green blazer to a first date.

Hint: if you plan to meet at the local buffet for the all you can eat early bird special: oldster.