11 year-old lesbian committed suicide because of bullying

Poor kid. Schools still aren't taking bullying seriously, despite all the talk about it.

I heard some of those same remarks when I was a kid. It was constant. At least home was a safe refuge. That was the 80s. I can't imagine being a kid and having the bullying invade your home via social media.

There is no way the teachers aren't hearing it. And maybe it was a teacher that began the initial inquiry. The girl may have asked them to call it off because she thought it would make the bullies angrier. They should have still gone on with the inquiry, even without the victim's participation, because the bullies likely broke rules. They should reopen the case now. Ask the teachers and students what they heard. Some of the stories will likely coincide with each other.

I remember one time a teacher took action on my behalf after witnessing me being bullied. In my senior year of high school, I was taking a class that involved publishing the school yearbook, and one kid just couldn't stop himself from frequently remarking about how ugly I was. The teacher quietly spoke with in private and made him withdraw from the class. The next day she announced that she asked him to leave because she had witnessed him saying things that could potentially threaten the atmosphere of teamwork and collaboration. That was one teacher out of dozens who must have heard similar things.

When you're 11 years old, and people are always showing you their ass, it's hard to imagine a time when you'll ever be happy.

R3 wow thanks for sharing your story. Sorry you went through that.

She committed suicide because she's a loser. The end.

Poor kid. If, however, she was being bullied through social media, I'd have pulled access to the social media and given her, yes, a safe space, while I made sure the bullies were tracked down and lectured appropriately.

Kids do mean things without really comprehending the effects of that cruelty.

What kind of a pathetic excuse for a human being would write what you wrote, R5? Are you really THAT miserable?

You seemed like a lovely young girl Skylar & it's a damn shame what was done to you.

From the way you were described, I would've liked to get to known someone like you but bullying took you from all of us in the end.

Rest in peace & I hope you are free of all the negativity this world can produce.

Suicide & bullying almost claimed my life but I was fortunate to overcome both.

Here's hoping that the bullies in your town have changed their wicked ways but R5 might just be someone you had encountered trying to get one more shot at you.

I hope you get the negativity back tenfold that you've put out to others R5.

I’m sure HRC, GLAAD & NCLR are on it — just like there were when a lesbian household was obliterated a couple years ago.

Say their names:

[italic]Patricia Wright

Charlotte Reed

Benny Diambu-Wright [/italic]

r5 = Donald Trump

When I was an 11 year old girl (1966), I was in my home room when a group of the usual bullies gathered around and threatened me for 15 minutes. I looked at the teacher for help and she looked back at me for an instant, then went back to correcting papers. Unfucking believable. And I'm the type that have killed the bullies, not myself. My parents were only concerned that my grades had fallen like a rock once I entered middle school. Guess why?

When you're young, time passes MUCH slower than when you're an adult. So these slights become a much longer, bigger deal to have to manage.

r11 could it be because you were killing people?

I wonder to what extent these kids are killing themselves because they can't cope with the stress, and to what extent they are doing it to get noticed on social media. I'm not saying that to mock or belittle her in the least, by the way, but it's very troubling that digital society has become so central to our existence that we are literally dying for it -- taking absurd chances with safety in order to get edgy pictures, harming or killing ourselves so we will get noticed, retweeted, reposted on IG.

My reaction to this kind of behaviour is anger starting with the parents. As a father, I would have done something way sooner. Talk to teachers, principal, whoever. Then go after the fathers of the bullies.

And, yes, I am a father and dealt with my son's issue at school.

She had landed in the hospital TWICE and still neither the school nor the parents did anything. That's pretty incredible.

R16 Right. And using the excuse that the little girl didn't want them to go after the bullies is bullshit. If someone harmed this child to the point of hospitalization, the cops should have been involved and the fucking brats should have caught charges.

Makes me want to homeschool my daughter. I’m pretty sure she is a lesbian. She’s 7, and different from the other kids but so far everyone gets along. Just worried about middle school ‘s rough waters.

I fucking hate this. There needs to be an organization that sues the schools and bullies themselves. Yes, kids are responsible for their own torts. Sue the parents, too, for negligent oversight of their bully children (e.g., failing to supervise their children's use of social media, etc.).

Sue them to death, damn it.

Wish... if she was going to take herself out... if I'd been her... I'd have made it count in certain ways.

Parents of gay kids, get your kids into fucking tae-kwon-do. Build them from their insides, iron their spines and teach them how to defend themselves in all ways.

This is how.

Children are assholes.

R22 Yeah they are, mostly. I feel like we should be talking to our kids about taking up for people being bullied. It's called empathy! Possibly THE most important thing you could ever teach your child. (R5, I realize this a completely foreign concept to you because you clearly were not raised right.) ... Hey, you little fucker picking on the unpopular kid? How about you stop being a total dick??? Something along those lines. My boys took are 23 and 24 now and NEVER let people fuck with the less fortunate/bullied kids. The bullies need to be shamed and ostracized for their behavior.

Sad and this is in New Hampshire, no less, not a place you'd think would be a hotbed for this behavior. Guess I'm wrong. God, I wish we could get to every one of these and convince them that it all gets so much better. It's not just a catchphrase.

Heartbreaking. I think so many of these children are born in the wrong bodies and should've been given access to gender clinics.

Sadly, 'It gets better' makes little sense when you're at that age. This is something that (as a now 35 year-old) I only recently realised: the difficulty at that young is that one has no concept of time or of adulthood. I similarly remembering thinking at around 13 that things would get better 'when I'll be older' but it felt so abstract and impossibly distant - even though I knew that in perhaps three, four or five years, when I reached a certain age, I could go to gay bars or have sex or meet other gay people, but had no actual ability to conceive what 'three to five years' actually would feel like, or even what that future would look like when I got there.

Soon afterwards I read Alan Hollinghurst's 'The Swimming Pool Library', back in the mid 1990s, and it was revelatory: it gave me a sense of what adulthood might actually be like, and suddenly it didn't feel so impossibly distant or abstract. I mean, my life (thankfully!) hasn't turned out to be a Hollinghurst novel, and I'd advise against any 13 year-olds using it as a guide to adulthood. But at the time, it felt as if that book saved my life.

Love your post, R26, and some movies did the same thing for me, made me know I couldn't wait until I was an adult and could do what I wanted (though, even then, it took me a few years to embrace being gay, though even then I wasn't buying any "you're going to Hell" talk). These days with so much more visibility, you'd think it'd be easier.

But, in the end, true bullying happens to people with no alliance, not even other nerds, people who feel truly alone and terrified. And that's what has always made it infuriating. I hate goddam bullies who pick on the truly weak.

That's why we need the kids who were raised with empathy to call the bullies out and not stand for it.

When I was in 5th grade our teacher asked 4 of us to stay after school. She explained to us that we were lucky to be successful and popular, but that not all kids were treated well, and that we were better people than bullying a fat girl, and that we had the power to make a positive difference in her life and that would add to our own self-worth. It made a difference, and I went over to the fat girl's house and played with her. Her home life was not great, and she was emotionally immature, but I never bullied anyone after that.

R29 Bravo to your teacher!! And to you, my friend.

One of the things that might help these kids is support from a community that acknowledges that they are GAY or LESBIAN. Not refer to them with a ridiculous non-applicable lbtqiaexpialadocious bullshit label.

Ugh, that poor kid. That's why when my fifth grader told me earlier in the year that her best friend said she likes girls and boys I told her that's nice she shared with you but respect her privacy and keep it to yourself unless she says otherwise. Kids get that shit from their parents, they born little bigoted homophobes.

aren't ^

Heartbreaking.

Where’s that fucking cunt Melanoma and her “be best” crap?

This poor little girl... so young and already so victimized.

American society has renewed homophobia happening. It needs to stop. It needs to stop NOW.

We need to look to these kids. We need to be inspired by the lives they could have led -- but no longer can lead -- in order to fight and fix the problem we all face.

Rest In Peace and love from good people.

Fuck you, R5.

People who harass, bully and libel on social media are 100% garbage. Not even tough enough to do the grotesque horrors, to their victims faces. They are useless trash, raised by trash and wasting what viable oxygen we have left.

That poor little girl should never have had to deal with any of it.

Parents are at fault for not teaching their child how to cope. Kids have been bullied for centuries and got learned how to cope. Now they think they don't have to and the bullies will adjust. No, you have to learn how to stand up for yourself.

That poor kid. Damn. RIP kid and fuck the bullies. Just fuck them

R24, New Hampshire is a republican shithole with a LOT of asshole conservatives who most definitely promote this shit, Rural america is the worst when it comes to bullying.

I don't understand parents who refuse to act on their kids' behalf. Call me a helicopter Mom all you want. I don't care. I'd take my kid out of that school so fast her head would spin. I just don't get parents who know full well what's going on and wring their hands over it but still DO NOTHING. Kids are vicious, and once they form packs, they can become animals. I wonder if it really makes sense for them to be in such large groups, close in age. Maybe we would be better off going back to smaller schools with several ages in one class, all learning independently.

Yeah it's weird how parents let their kids make major life decisions and then claim "well, it's what they wanted" later. Like, one time I injured myself on the way to a sports event (I enjoyed the sport and was good at it, one of the few sports where that was actually the case). My mom swears I said "I don't want to go back ever!" - presumably some fit of rage at hurting myself - and so we stopped going to practice, but I don't remember that at all. Being a kid I didn't really have any sense of time so I didn't even realize/remember we weren't going to practices anymore until much later when I asked her about it... and apparently that was my decision not to go anymore. I think I was 12 or 11 or something.

As a son of a teacher I can tell you that the helicopter parents are the worst. There's a few cases where they may know better but my mom HATED dealing with the parents (and the administration) and never felt like she got any support from either. The parents who never spent time with their kids/were too busy to do much with them were always the ones who were the first to blame the school or the teachers if grades were down or whatever. I think it's their way of establishing control over a situation they really don't have control over, and it's easier to be angry at some specific thing than it is to actually fix the problem. Problems rarely have one solution or are caused by one issue and usually the hardest to fix are the ones that are systemic, like, the parent not spending enough time with their kids and then not liking what the school is teaching them instead.

WTF R43, we're not talking about failing grades here. This girl was taken to the hospital twice and finally driven to suicide she was bullied so bad. I'll take a helicopter parent over a deaf, dumb and blind one ANY day. And I would have zero fucks to give about some dopey teacher's sensibilities. If my kid's life is on the line---step aside, bitch.

I was a bully in middle school. I’m forever grateful I never drove anyone to suicide.

r44 I was talking in reference to the other posts above it, not specifically just about this girl. If people are limited to just the OP topic, it can only be filled with so many "_I_ would have done everything so much better!@#" twat posts before it dies a horrible, boring death. Therefore, side topics.

That you know of, R45.

r45 have you kept in touch with those you bullied? They could all be dead now.

[quote]New Hampshire, no less, not a place you'd think would be a hotbed for this behavior.

Due to its tax structure, NH has always been a haven for Massachusetts Deplorables and Libertarians. There's no sales tax, no capital gains tax, no income tax apart from 5% on interest and dividends, and no mandatory car insurance.

Oops. I didn't see R40 until after I posted.

Interesting stuff, guys, thanks. I never would've guessed. New Hampshire always sounded as liberal as humanly possible except for maybe Vermont.

I was gonna write something snarky to R45 because I was bullied, badly, and it changed the course of my life for the worse. I am successful, I have money, but I have a very empty life and now it is almost over. I tried I don't know how much therapy to shake it but the fact was those people - kids - damaged my self esteem beyond repair. Took it, really. I am dead inside. Yet grieving. The older I get the more I realize its irretrievable and, oddly, the more I feel the loss of what might have been.

But while R45 might have done better, he was a kid, too. Maybe somebody let him down to act like that. And in the end, everyone, bullied and bully alike, are failed by the people responsible: parents, teachers, especially, and society at large.

Spoken like a bully R38. Blame the victim, nice.

I don't think you were ever 11 years old, R38. Teach yourself not to a dumb asshole.

Behind bullying is the heavy-handed idea that kids will teach other kids how to "act right" by ridiculing and beating on them. Straighten them out with "tough love".

I was bullied and chased until my parents got sick of it.

My dad told me to watch and see who the leader was and then wait for them after school, or when they're alone coming out of their house, etc. and jump them then. Punch like hell, bite, kick, etc., but make sure you put a hurting on them even if you lose. Tell the bully this is what they can expect every time you get harassed by them in the future. They usually gang up again and beat you, (I used to outrun them), but after the second or third time you confront the gang leader you usually get left alone.

I was small but willing to always punch someone in the nose and most people want to avoid a confrontation. I'm sorry this girl would have to make a choice to stand and fight or be her peaceful self. Bullies are the worst.

And that's rich, troll at R49, saying that Massachusetts deplorables are in some kind of haven in N. Hampshire. Sure, they've moved in droves to S. New Hampshire, but they're mostly liberals saving money. Real deplorable types couldn't afford the home pricing. It's your native N.Hampshire deplorable that's the Repuglican jitt voting for Sununus and yahoos. Maine and Vermont have their share, too, but Massachusetts is blue all the way through in the cities and towns. Rurally, they don't need New Hampshire for a haven. They got plenty of hollows to hide out in the western hills.

R45, I didn't go to my 40th HS reunion because several people in my earlier middle school classes were exactly like you. I would have cornered each one and assaulted them. So you would have lost a few teeth.

R41, I made my mother go to the fucking school and force them to change the students in my 7th grade class before it started. I gave her a list of the names, and they actually did it. But I had to say I wouldn't go to school anymore if she didn't, she wouldn't have done it on her own. My father was always in a drunken stupor, so he was no help.

Being bullied happens to all kinds of kids, you don't have to be ugly, awkward, poor or an out lesbian/gay.

This little girl was murdered by those bullies. I hope her parents sue and sue some more. It's the only recourse we have since they don't allow a good punch in the nose anymore. She looked like a little sweet future librarian.

This type of thing makes me want to scream. Poor kid.

R56 how old are you and where did you grow up? I'm 33 and when all throughout my elementary, middle and high school years, fighting would not be tolerated. It was even school policy that if students got into a fight outside of school, we'd be suspended. I was careful never to get into fights because I was so worried about getting in trouble and ruining my future. There were plenty of guys I would have loved to have beaten the shit out of (and my parents would have encouraged it had they known but I didn't tell them), but I didn't want to take the risk.

I have read your post over and over, R52. It is as if you wrote my history, too. I was bullied very badly in the 6th and 7th grades. It destroys you inside. I do feel empty, scraped out, a lot of the time. I only recently tied these feelings to having been bullied. It still hurts so bad I can hardly bear it sometimes. I am tortured by what might have been, as you are, if I hadn't been twisted and bent this way and that, if I had been left with a shred of self-esteem. The pain doesn't go away.

I am furious at my parents. They, and the teachers and other kids, did absolutely nothing. I had absolutely no idea how to fight back. How does one little neurotic kid fight a pack of wild animals? My mom would tell me, "Oh, just ignore them", in an exasperated tone. I was bothering her with my problems.

I'm sorry to write all this on the thread of this poor child, but it struck a chord to see in writing the feelings I've been struggling with for decades. Hang in there, R52, please. Don't let the bastards win. We are both worth more, even though it is tough to convince ourselves of that.

R59, I'm old, in my 60's, and grew up in the East. Yes, I know it wasn't what you would understand these days. It's not a great way to grow up and I never enjoyed 'sticking up for myself' but it became what was necessary in that time.

Skylar had the right to be a peaceful kid, enjoying her life and living it fully. She should't have had to go through that shit.

r60 it's all THEIR fault!

A point that's been missed so far by those advocating that all victims "fight back" physically; Skylar was a girl.

Girls are socialised heavily to "fight" with words and not with fists. Even tomboys. Words are dishonest and more insidious, like poison compared to the clubs of fists. How do you "fight back" against venom & vitriol once it enters the blood? For girls & women defending against a bully is never as simple as a tussle in the sand and a black eye, to settle the score and win back respect. A female bully will typically go after the reputation and the psyche of another girl before her physical shell, and in the age of Reputation that's a killing move. It's a complicated dangerous game between girls, more than young boys can imagine (well, maybe not gay boys).

She was named "Skylar", she may have been raised as an assassin to kill her opponents, and this time she chose to hang back and turn it inward because she was rebelling against her parents, who wanted her to be an assassin. You don't know, r63!

You're a guy, right R63? Girls fight if it's in them. I could fight individual girls and boys in grade school, I just couldn't do the same with a group. I've known girls who didn't know how to fight, but that "words and not with fists" is horseshit.

All the girls in my school were part of a karate club called "The Scarlet Ninjas" and once they got driver's licenses they rode together in a biker gang with the same name. We avoided them.

Poor girl and what pitiful parents failing her under the weight of "decency". I was brought up not a little dysfunctional, but to God, I'd rather that than being "naice" to the point of inertia. "Go for the leader and the crowd will "scyatter". "Grab a girl in her pussy like it's a live fish Don't be fucking about with scratching and pulling of hair." " Kick a boy in his knee THEN go for his front" "Any fucker bigger than you, ALWAYS go for their knee. It discombobulates a fucker. Then fight them like mosquito; "ningy, ningy, ningy"" And my God, these parables from the trying ne'er do wells and others in my family worked! Or as Paul Mooney says; "You fight crazy with crazy". I've never known a bully to listen to reason.

If she was harassed through social media, the accounts should’ve been reported. Most companies are afraid and would shut those accounts down— also, these kids are technically too young to have these accounts without parent approval.

On the first few days of school I make sure to state very clearly that I do not tolerate any mean behavior (except mine) in my classroom. Over the years I have had one or two foolish students who have tried to start something and I have ended it very quickly.

The students (and parents of these children) who were the bullies should be charged with something. The parents should have to take parenting classes for years (and threatened with losing their children) and the children should be in therapy for years to find out why they are bullies and because they now know someone died because of their behavior. AND, the parents should have to pay for it all, not the state.

R66 are you The Karate Kid?

"Sad and this is in New Hampshire, no less, not a place you'd think would be a hotbed for this behavior."

What a bizarre comment. Why would there be no extreme bullying in New Hampshire? It's everywhere.

yeah even in liberal areas there is plenty of bullying. I grew up in a very liberal area and there were plenty of bullies/bullied kids back in the 90s and early 2000s.

R25 Were you trying to derail this thread with your comment?

R68 Is the reason the school system is in such a shitty state.

R57 Careful your snowflake is showing. Did your mom deal with the work colleagues you didn't like too? Still cutting your meat?