Does Anyone Else Sleep On A Pine Needle Mattress?

A pine needle mattress sounds so luxurious.

Ja, I love it!

Do you get fresh pine needles each day?

r3, You can buy them in bulk from 3rd party sellers but the manufacturer has a subscription plan thing where they send you fresh ones every six months and I just did that because it seemed easier than having to remember on my own.

I've put down 3 blankets, two of which are really thick, but I can still feel the needles and I'm not sure what to do. I mean, getting a topper would defeat the whole point of a pine needle mattress.

I'm, also, a little worried about bugs.

Have any of you gotten used to the sensation. Mostly, the problem is when I roll over in my sleep and then I can really feel them and it hurts and I wake up.

What sort of fuckery is this ??? Is Op typing from the 1820s ?

R4 Can you enlighten us as to what the point actually is? (no pun intended.)

My jaw is rheumatic so I've used a pine needle pillow for decades but I've never heard of a pine needle mattress! Are you sure you aren't pulling our collective legs?

I replace the needles in my pillow every week so I don't know what it would be like to replace them only twice a year. I live in a pine glade by the sea so it's easy to collect the needles year round. Also, it's not a big pillow so it doesn't take long to get enough to stuff fully. Still, the pine makes my wee house smell wonderful.

Wait, this ISN'T a parody post? There's really such a thing as pine needle mattresses? I can't imagine anything more painful.

Off topic a little, but still in the realm of sleep gear, has anyone tried a copper infused pillow?

[quote]I've put down 3 blankets, two of which are really thick, but I can still feel the needles and I'm not sure what to do.

Perhaps try a non-pine-needle-containing mattress?

Pine needle mattress?

r7, have you had any issues with sap?

Do you smell like Christmas?

Probably more like Pine-sol.

Are you L'il Abner? A swamp person? One of Meghan Markle's white trash relatives?

OP, are you aware only VEGAN sexually-fluid graduates of elite private Liberal Arts colleges are advised to use pine needle mattresses? Other uses, beware of the conflicting electro-magnetic-vibrational-virtue-signaling fields - which may cause spontaneous combustion or severe constipation and the pain and humiliation of haemorrhoids.

I'm allergic to most bedding and this was recommended.

Some people, also, use them to cure nightmares. Go figure, but they say it works.

r13, like pinecones.

Op a bed of nails would suit you better.

[quote]The manufacturer has a subscription plan...

If I found people willing to buy bags full of dead leaves, I'd want them to come back regularly.

BTW, I happen to sell solar savers. They help recoup sun energy lost to your neighbor's solar panels. Added bonus; you can see yourself in them - even hang them on the wall!

OPee

Just me, then?

OP, Are you posting from Naked & Afraid?

this is a new one on me....

I'm in a college town.

Moosewood can fix you up a broccoli cauliflower quiche mattress.

Is Moosewood a type of mushroom?

Crunchy restaurant in Ithaca.

I can't eat quiche: I was a cater waiter in high school.

R12 I'm R7 . The sap is supposed to alleviate pain - that's why it's good for rheumatism - and I don't mind if a little seeps through the pillowcase and sticks to my face. I wear a bathing cap to keep it out of my hair, and change my pillowcase four times a week so not TOO much gets through. I'm amused at all these people who think this is an EST.

And people love the way I smell. I get told I smell like a Christmas tree at least every week.

Now I've heard EVERYTHING!

You sleep in a bathing cap and change your pillowcase 4x weekly so that not TOO much sap gets through and you are AMUSED at us?

Beautyrest World king size mattress with adjustable and massaging base. Welcome to the 21st, not to mention 20th century. And you only buy it ONCE. And it lasts for TEN years!

And to all you artisan company mattress fetish queens, Beautyrest does the trick without spending 12K.

r32, r30 is the guy with the pillow. I haven't dealt with sap yet because I guess I haven't really broken it in yet. I use a latex pillow still.

I had one, OP. It got too picky for me and gave me a bad rash. It's now on the guest bed in my second bedroom. Not too many complaints from friends who have used it when they stay for the weekend.

OP, I'd suck your brains out through your dick if you purchased a matching set of bathing caps we could wear...

Where the fuck do you nature boys live?

I'd pay to watch that, r36.

it would be worth it just for the story, R38.

r30, you're adorable, just precious.

Wouldn't it be easier to just spray some of that delightful Christmas tree scent all over your nice clean cushy BeautyRest before retiring OP?

I imagine that any bedbugs you accidentally bring home from your travels would run screaming and hollering as soon as they jumped on your bed.

So there's that.

OP Have you ever thought about distilling some of Granny Clampett's special spring tonic?

Have you tried pine cones?

Snow White. That poisoned apple packed a punch.

I love r36.

Are you a squirrel?

I thought you were a homeless mountain man op but I guess not.

This isn’t that bizarre. Rice heating pad, flax eye pillow, buckwheat pillow...

It would certainly be cheaper than sleeping on a pine nut mattress. Those things are expensive!

A friend of mine swears by his pillow that's filled with coffee bean hulls.

Ewwwww

R46, Are you Arlene Francis?

[quote]Where the fuck do you nature boys live?

This has got to be a PNW thing.

I sleep on a Kluft...

But interestingly, my pillow is $30. I like duck feather in a pillow (supportive but mushy) and somehow that's the cheapest fill.

R4 Maybe it's some kind of owl cosplay. Are there dead mice in your nest OP?

LOL r58.

The DreamPrick™ Mattress by Snooooze™. You [bold]need[/bold] this bed.

I’m still wondering about being “allergic to most bedding.” When did that become a thing?

Bedding allergies are so NOW!

To be fair, OP's previous bedding attempts were filled with peanuts and shellfish.

Okay, I bit the bullet and I borrowed a sleeping bag from my neighbor last night and used it on the mattress. It was perfect(!) because it kept me from rolling over and added another layer of cushioning between myself and the needles.

I did notice a little sap on it when I got up. How do you get that out? Pillow guy?

Can anyone recommend a sleeping bag?

I slept great, by the way.

Walter De Maria - Beds of Spikes, 1968–1969

What exactly are you allergic to that you can tolerate a sleeping bag but need to sleep on pine needles because you’re “allergic to bedding??”

Have you consider just sleeping on the floor in a sleeping bag? It would be sort of like camping.

Pillow guy here - glad to hear of your good result with the sleeping bag. To remove sap (though I leave it on for an hour or two first thing in the morning because of its salutary effect re: rheumatism) I shower with a dish detergent like Dawn that removes fats. Any of the ones with a degreaser in it will work and the generic brands aren't expensive at all. When that doesn't work I dab my face with rubbing alcohol, though a hand sanitizer will do the job and smell nice, too.

Washing sappy sheets is harder. I spread cooking oil or peanut butter on the stain and then wash it in my old Asko which can nearly boil (205F) the sheets and pillow cases. Fortunately I weave my own sheets from organic cotton I import from Mali so I know it's sturdy enough to be boiled on a regular basis.

[quote]I did notice a little sap on it when I got up.

What was his name?

[quote]Fortunately I weave my own sheets from organic cotton I import from Mali so I know it's sturdy enough to be boiled on a regular basis.

Well, smell YOU, Princess Grace!

r65, would Ajax work?

Unfortunately, I don't have space for a loom in my junior one bedroom. I could look into time-sharing one, maybe-? Is that a thing?

I just want to be able to give my neighbor his sleeping bag back without it being covered in sap stains. Can I do that like thing with wax paper and an iron to get it off?

Thanks

I've never tried Ajax but it might work, and I've never tried the wax paper/iron trick though I've heard about it.

My loom is only four feet wide so to make a sheet I have to sew two halves together. If you're willing to put up with more than one seam you might invest in an even smaller loom. I find they come up on Craigslist regularly but I'm unaware of a time-share market. Weaving is a wonderful activity and I love to take my loom outside into my pine glade by the sea and shoot the shuttle back and forth for hours. It's a very Zen activity.

Pine <-- carcinogenic?

I'm sceptical and feel EST possibilities to this thread. How for example did sap make it through a few layers of blankets to the sleeping bag?

r71, It didn't get *inside* the sleeping bag! There's just like little beads/smudges around where I guess my ass was.

But you said you put layers of blankets on top fo the mattress so what gives. Be precise.

I feel my chain being yanked.

I feel we’re in the Pine Barrens.

[quote]Fortunately I weave my own sheets from organic cotton I import from Mali so I know it's sturdy enough to be boiled on a regular basis.

I have never read a sadder thing in my entire long, long life.

^^^^LMAO

[quote]Fortunately I weave my own sheets from organic cotton I import from Mali

OK, now I know you guys are taking the piss!

When you google "pine needle mattress" nothing comes up for sale... but this thread already comes up on the first page of google.

I grow my own organic cotton, pick it by hand at harvest time, spin it into beautiful thread, then weave it into sheets, pillow cases, table cloths, napkins, duvets, and so on, which I then sell at my booth at the weekly organic farmers' markets.

This thread TOTALLY reminds me of Beatrix Potter.

Benjamin Burton does NOT approve.

I cried because I had no loom until I met an asshole who wouldn't buy two swim caps so I could suck his brains out through his dick.

My chains are forged from recycled Victorian brass bibelots. They can be yanked strongly. Well made by Yemeni war refuges in the Mutrah Souq of Maskat.

[quote] When you google "pine needle mattress" nothing comes up for sale...

In English, that might be the case, but there are lots of different language, r79.

Ahem.

Bedding allergies. So hot right now.

My family had an Art Nouveau villa in Byblos Lebanon and there were matelas of cèdre du Liban. The Turkish Ambassador fell asleep smoking a cigar in the library and the Aubusson carpet went up in flames, followed by the our villa.

We lost a Cassatt, 2 Renoirs, and a Degas, along with those fabulous matelas, and my great uncle's collection of Arabic incunabula, which rivalled the library of Timgad.

Mrs. Paul Smith had her pine mattresses made locally for the White Pine Camp in the Adirondacks. It was President Coolidge's Summer White House. Nancy Cunard came to visit with a handsome Harlem negro and they so adored sodomy on the pine mattress that Nancy had a dozen shipped to Paris on the Aquitania.

Serious question: are you German, OP? From my experience, Germans are freaking obsessed with bizarre herbal remedies and alternative medicine. Sleeping on a mattress filled with pine needles sounds exactly like what they'd be into.

yes, a wooden bed with no metal whatsoever, carefully arranged in the room with a compass.

R91 I'm the pillow guy. My pine needle pillow was suggested by my German-trained Reiki master (he's also a Rolfing practitioner) years ago as a way of treating the rheumatism in my jaw so your guess of his nationality might indeed be because of what he learned in Germany. He's actually Canadian.

I never thought a run-of-the-mill pine needle pillow or hand-woven sheeting would cause such a ruction. I'll bet a quarter of the houses in my area have a loom standing in them.

I would imagine they're highly flammable. And since I'm sure you're flaming most of the time, it could be dangerous.

R94, please.

R93 was a boxer and we never discuss the poor men he's accidentally killed in the ring. It makes him shriek, moan, flutter about in a kimono, and then punch out cunts such as yourself.

How likely is it that someone be allergic to all bedding but not allergic to pine pollen?

WW this entire thread. Bravo bitches!

My favorite mattress set is the Weeping Willow and a Pillow. Another choice would be the Knotty by Nature

Is OP a Mi'kmaq posting from 1850?

If anyone's having persistent trouble with allergies (esp bedding allergies), I humbly recommend stopping by my Etsy store to purchase some very reasonably priced pine cone rectal plugs (I think one of my happy customers is at r72). Just go to the Etsy front page and search for 'sappositories'.

[quote]From my experience, Germans are freaking obsessed with bizarre herbal remedies and alternative medicine.

So true, r91. When I went on a coach trip of Europe in the mid-90s with my family, Germany was the only place in Europe in which very basic cafes had soy milk.

When I went to a Dead Sea resort in Jordan 10 years ago, the majority of guests were Germans whose trips were funded by their health insurance to treat skin conditions.

Germans are very fruits of the forest. They love taking the waters and the outdoors and naturally the scouting movement originated there.

Reiki is a Dark Art. Of course the Germans would be interested.

[quote]How likely is it that someone be allergic to all bedding but not allergic to pine pollen?

Yes, but I’m still stuck on the sleeping bag. Isn’t a sleeping bag bedding? Isn’t it basically the same materials? Why was the sleeping bag okay but a regular mattress is not?

It's not a normal sleeping bag. Sorry, I should have specified that it's a thermal emergency sleeping bag like the one I'm linking in the picture below. My neighbor is a mountain climber.

As my later mother would say, " I sense a bit of who struck John in this thread."

Heidi? Is this Heidi? Heidi!

[quote]BTW, I happen to sell solar savers.

By the sea shore?

[quote]suggested by my German-trained Reiki master (he's also a Rolfing practitioner) years ago as a way of treating the rheumatism in my jaw

So your German trained reiki master is treating your jaw rheumatism?

I sleep on a bed of Owls I have trained to remain perfectly still until I awaken. For my blanket I use palm fronds sewn together by the natural silk produced by my highly intelligent silkworms that only understand French. My pillow is a Bichon Frise named Edouarde who is deaf.

I bought my pine needle mattress 6 yeas ago and I have just ordered another for my guest room. it is so much easier now to service the new mattress with their new pine needle subscription program. When I purchased my first mattress it arrived in two large burlap sacks, much like the ones we have to use for penance at church after confessing homosexual sins, only without the red leather trim. Included were three Santa Rosa Pine saplings ready for planting.

I love my pine needle mattress and credit the company for my having survived the death my loving and sadistic husband. The pain of those sharp needles permitted to sleep just as if my dearly departed was making love to me all night long

I prefer porcupine quills.

My neighbor is *pissed* at me for the sap stains. He says I can't just buy him a new one, that this was a special edition for some mountain people version of the olympics and that it can't be dry cleaned and that I'm "going to need to figure something out." He used to be a Sherpa so like he could beat me to feathers. I don't even know what this material is. It's like what spaceships are made of...in the future. I'm afraid to apply heat or salt.

OP, ask your question on the Everest thread. I’m sure those posters will be only to glad to help.

R109 My favorite comment of the month.

Truly highly intelligent silkworms are invariably polyglots.

Pine is very high in Vitamin C and other anti-oxidants, you shouldn't be washing it off you, but licking it off. Put a few needles in your smoothie to start off. The sap is great for getting your teeth clean.

Anti-oxidants are bad now, R116. Google "anti-oxidants and cancer."

R116, Chris Pine is high on Vitamin C?

r117, that's only if you already have cancer.

I just got another bag of pine needles in the mail and thought of you guys & this thread.

My neighbor doesn't talk to me anymore. I had to buy him a new thermal space bag and it wasn't cheap and he was super bitchy about the brand.

As far as the mattress goes, I'm mostly used to it now. Really, it's hard for me to sleep anywhere now that isn't at least a little bit prickly. I grease up before bed, especially my hair, to avoid the sap issue. This might sound weird, but my favorite part is the weekly broom beating to "re-fluff" it. I don't know how you would do it without a pulley, but it's really kind of fun even though it takes five hours.

Has anyone else gotten one?

What the fuck? A bathing cap to sleep in?

Heroin needle mattress is much better.

If anyone buys bathing caps we're buying these:

Pine needle subscriptions are big business right now. You assholes might scoff but bedding allergies are real. I am wearing my all-natural cotton/silk ribbon atm and just the thought of what it represents brings tears to my eyes.

I used to have a buckwheat fuck pillow to prop up my bottoms' ass.

My mother always told me "Don't sleep on pine mattresses! You'll poke your eyes out!"

Still using mine, although I keep getting rashes. Calamine lotion does the trick usually. I'm trying to convince my boyfriend to get one for when we stay over at his place, but he refuses. He says he hates the prickly sensation on his nuts when he sleeps on his back.

No, and I don't live in a Little House on The Prairie, either.

r127, have you considered, drying the Calamine out so it turns into a powder and then sprinkling it atop the mattress under your fitted sheet? That's my first thought.

Thanks for the tip, R129. I'll try that out. I'll tell you one thing, the pine mattress is strangely addictive.

Yeah, it's one of those "good pains" and I wake up feeling like a mountain man.

I ended up buying my boyfriend a pair of thick flannel boxers, which has mostly solved the issue with his nuts.

r132, why didn't you weave them yourself?

I don't have a loom, unfortunately. Honestly, if he keeps bellyaching about the pine mattress, I'll get rid of the boyfriend before the mattress. I'm not into fussy princesses. Not appealing.

^^^says the fussiest princess of them all

I'm just sick of him whining about the pine needles making his nuts itchy all night.

I'm so itchy.

I bought the gimmicky wool and pine bark pillows and duvet at Aldi. They come up with weird German shit every now and then, and this line was not cheap. Aldi or Lidl had German leather Lederhosen, too, which I bought and was a hit when I was into S/M.

I've never seen lederhosen at Aldi, but a few weeks ago they got in their Deutsche Kuche stuff again. Red cabbage with apple, spaetzle, that sort of thing.

Wouldn't the sap seep through?

No. Not anymore. Once I moved away from Walnut Grove, I upgraded.

[quote] I'm, also, a little worried about bugs.

But apparently not about commas.

See R30, R140.

Horse hair is the way to go.

R7 Are you using fresh or dead needles?

Is this real?!

Must be fresh to be exuding sap, R145.

Your pine needle mattress should be made of heavy-duty canvas, OP. Needle-proof. Did you buy one of the cheap Korean ones?

R147 Thanks.

I have a clearfell of pines coming up later in the summer and will have a go at making one.

Bump

Ok, I know this is an old thread, but I hadn't seen it until R150 bumped it. We've all decided this is an EST right?

I mean there can't be people buying the one thing my Granny, a depression-era sharecropper's daughter, said was the absolute worst thing about being poor. As bad as things have ever gotten for her as an adult, she has taken solace in the fact she doesn't have to sleep on pine straw anymore. Whenever anyone of us complains about not having things, she says, "you have a bed? With a real mattress? You aren't poor, poor is sleeping on a mattress stuffed with pine straw."

I don't.

But, then again, I don't live in the Appalachians during the first World War.

R148 is right, you need a canvass like cover for the mattress, thin material isn't suitable.

I googled the hell out of it and the only thing that comes up is gardening websites. OP is you haven't become resinated to your bed, please link this fucking mattress.

R154, I'm not OP, but as far as I know there isn't a pine needle mattress on the market because you have to change the needles out every six months or so. You either gather the needles yourself or order them online.

Are you some type of forest creature?

R154, I forgot to add that if you don't want the hassle of a whole pine needle mattress, you can go for a pine needle pillow and still see some therapeutic benefits. Needles and crushed twigs from Balsam Fir are the most popular.

I was interested in one of those Japanese crushed rice/grain pillows, until I read many, many complaints about peoples’ houses being infested with moths and other bugs. It was truly horrifying.

Buckwheat pillow, I think it was ^

I had that Japanese buckwheat pillow. It was called a sobakawa pillow. No, it didn't attract moths and bugs. It's very firm and is probably best for a side sleeper.

I sleep in a haystack, I drink rainwater, I bathe in rivers. The rest of you are bourgeoisie and your opinion does not matter.

What's next? Prickly pear underwear?

I realize that back in the 1800's it was popular to sleep on pine bough beds while camping in the forest. No sleeping bags then for backpacking fanatics but there's no excuse to do it now unless you'll die if you don't.

It's not about having an excuse, R63.