I am taking my next door neighbour's teen son, Joel, on a picnic tomorrow to celebrate Victoria Day.

I thought he played water polo. Maybe that was a different Joel.

Just imagine Dylan Geick as Joel. It makes the fantasy hotter.

Bless your heart. No one cares.

OP, are you Canadian or British?

Water polo is over for the season, R1.

Are ya gonna fuck him?

Canadian, R4.

OP, beware: Joel has secretly arranged for some of his rugby teammates to lure you into the bushes and bash your head in.

Dear Lord in Heaven!

I’m glad your not planning on serving olives. In my experience, even the most well-bred young men don’t know what to do with the pits.

You’re very patient, OP. All this time and you’re still hoping for a kiss at the end of the night? He’d better be kissing the tip of my dick before it enters his mouth at this stage.

Victoria day?

Of course Joel is Canadian. No American youth could be so tasty.

I mean tasteful.

Rumor on the rugby team is that Joel's penis is invaginated.

Joel sits down to pee

OP, do you empty his colostomy bag? While Mitzi yaps and jumps to dine on his feces?

OP, you are fabulous. Ignore the comments from the great unwashed above.

Another lovely installment. I hope the OP gets some hot action with Joel, but a large part of the beauty and pathos would be lost.

All your weekends are royal, my dear.

I love these stories. Can't wait for your next one OP. Which one of your young friends were with you while you watched Harry get married? Was it Timmy or Bobby?

Have you and Joel exchanged glances OP?

OP Joel is trans you're going to find a big wet vag down there.

OP, ditch the rare roast beef baguettes. It’s liable to remind him of the va-jay-jay. Don’t want that!

For the wine I'd go with Mateus rosé.

What will you talk about, OP? Were you able to catch any of the royal wedding? That might make a good topic of conversation with what is clearly a lovely young man.

you guys can shit on each other

Stay classy, r26!

My trouble with the Joel stories is that they don;t go anywhere.

The genius of a true scenario-explainer like the Galloping Gourmet (aka the Fussy Menu Troll) was that he could build on what you responded back, telling us more about his complex menus and his difficult relationship with his partner's in-laws.

Joel's friend, by contrast, just tells us about these true scenarios, then immediately clears out.

PG Wodehouse wrote hundreds of stories which never went anywhere. If they're entertaining and make you laugh, who cares?

Not so, R28. He reappears to answer questions. In this case, since he is telling us of his plans rather than reporting on a passed event, i’m Sure we can look forward to an update.

I’m afraid things didn’t go well. Let’s hope it’s something benign like a bee sting.

I miss BILL TAYLOR.

Well, I have to express some concern for OP’s well-being. Teenagers can be so volatile.

Has anyone scanned Canadian media for reports of mysterious assaults or murders (God forbid!) in parks on Victoria Day?

If OP is perfectly fine, I shall not be in a charitable mood. To engage us in this budding romance then coldly leave us hanging is, in a word, unforgivable.

boring

I find a Caprese salad works much better. Light and fresh flavors as so welcome this time of year.. Of course I use an extra potent hemp oil as the dressing-- it does change the flavor a bit but once the boys start tripping there is no end to the fun.

You're so goofy.....

OP, you should contact Alan Hollinghurst immediately!

When one is living an extraordinary life, it's one's duty to see it memorialized in printed form.

Come back to us, OP! How was the picnic?

R24, Even the Queen has been known to drink Mateus!

Even the Queen has been known to eat Meatus!

Why do I picture the old pedo from Family Guy?

[quote]Joel's friend, by contrast, just tells us about these true scenarios, then immediately clears out.

R29 much like Joel did when he met OP.

He’s dead, I tell you. Mourn. Mourn for OP.

Thoughts and prayers.

This is one of the better Joel scenarios.

Thanks, OP.

Op do you ever feel a little creepy. And do you mind revealing how little how you look OP.

I love the British.

My mistake, OP is Canadian.

Why do gays always have to prepare some elaborate dish or food? So fucking flaming annoying. Just tell Joel to go pick up some sandwiches from the deli.

How many Joel threads are there??

The Joel troll is one of DL's most prolific posters r49

Why was this worthy of bumping, R45?

r51 it was linked on another recent thread and I just couldn't resist r51.

Plus Victoria Day is fast approaching!

r48, You are why I love DL. Best posters on any site.

OP is going to give Joel a Victoria Sponge bath this year.

R48, what's so elaborate about tomato feta salad?

It's in aspic, Rose.

OP, why are you serving your neighbor's teenage son wine? Obviously young Joel makes you moist as a snack cake, but you sound like a creep.

OP, Victoria Day is a week from tomorrow.

What do you have in store for Joel this year?

R57 is president of the Earnest Frau Association.

Who keeps making these pedo friendly fantasy threads?

I can assure you, Joel is all man. Though I’d be lying if I say I hadn’t noticed him as a lad, but strictly in the sense of “that looks promising.” And nature delivered what was promised.

OP = Sicko

Plot twist: OP is Joel and has been fantasizing about himself.

Oh, yay, the pedo troll has finally arrived @ R60.