And right on the anniversary, too!
Here’s part [italic] un [/italic] at the link:
(Carl taught me French, oh la la!)
Nitrous, or somecow, was doubting we’d get to a seconde thread, but I knew it. I just did!
Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.
Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.
Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.
Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.
And right on the anniversary, too!
Here’s part [italic] un [/italic] at the link:
(Carl taught me French, oh la la!)
Nitrous, or somecow, was doubting we’d get to a seconde thread, but I knew it. I just did!
by Anonymous | reply 600 | December 24, 2018 7:51 PM |
Hi, future steaks!
by Anonymous | reply 1 | May 20, 2018 4:23 AM |
Hrumph, R1!
by Anonymous | reply 2 | May 20, 2018 4:36 AM |
Here’s Rosy! We went out for milk and she had to show off! Moo!
Happy anniversary to all my cowgal and cowboy friends. You too, Carl & Phylis!
by Anonymous | reply 3 | May 20, 2018 1:14 PM |
Moo. Moo, moo, moo.
by Anonymous | reply 4 | May 20, 2018 9:54 PM |
Let’s get things rolling with a little polka! This ones for the Holstein Friesians out there!
by Anonymous | reply 6 | May 21, 2018 3:55 AM |
Margaret hurt herself in the limbo contest. I told her she couldn’t beat Phyllis. How could a cow beat a chicken in a limbo contest?
by Anonymous | reply 7 | May 21, 2018 4:05 AM |
[quote] How could a cow beat a chicken in a limbo contest?
Ground?
by Anonymous | reply 8 | May 21, 2018 4:15 AM |
Oww! Moo! My head hurts! Did I see you at the barn dance? I don’t remember much.
Good morning, Sir! Good morning, Madam! Moo and happy anniversary from Monday Morning Moos.
May you meet some cuddly cows today!
by Anonymous | reply 9 | May 21, 2018 2:01 PM |
Mooo to all, but softly, as I am hungover. Oh God, my head...
by Anonymous | reply 10 | May 21, 2018 2:52 PM |
Moo and Good Morgan! It’s a fine day, cows, so get up, get out there, and let the wind blow the stink off you. You need some sun, hun.
by Anonymous | reply 11 | May 28, 2018 12:51 AM |
R11, are you in Oz-tralia?
by Anonymous | reply 12 | May 28, 2018 1:36 AM |
London, R12. There’s an International DataLounge Convention for board members only, at Nigel’s flat in Kensington this weekend. It’s a bank holiday. Moo.
by Anonymous | reply 13 | May 28, 2018 10:42 AM |
Moo? What happened to the original thread, it appears to be gone.
by Anonymous | reply 14 | May 29, 2018 4:21 AM |
It’s the Deep Steak at work, Thor! Fake Moos! I’m not kidding!
Send complaints to Muriel, I just Moo here.
by Anonymous | reply 15 | May 29, 2018 4:34 AM |
Abbreviate Moo - have to dash!
by Anonymous | reply 16 | June 4, 2018 1:40 PM |
I am SO angry they killed our first thread, there was alot of funny stuff there.
MURDERING MURDERERS!
by Anonymous | reply 17 | June 4, 2018 5:03 PM |
The whole slowboat fiasco and sinking was beautifully documented, our history has been erased!
by Anonymous | reply 18 | June 4, 2018 5:05 PM |
R17, R18, you made me ascared! I was able to find the first thread, at the link here. (I also found navigating this site yesterday was clunky.) I’m so happy, I don’t have to reassemble a list of preappoved first cow names from scratch!.
by Anonymous | reply 19 | June 4, 2018 6:25 PM |
Thanks, Beulah, mooo! Girls, we can put away the pitchforks now.
by Anonymous | reply 20 | June 4, 2018 8:40 PM |
Good day Sir! Good day Madam!
by Anonymous | reply 21 | June 11, 2018 2:24 PM |
Oh, dear, that was a misfire.
Moo to all who:welcome it. May you all have kindness and joy today!
by Anonymous | reply 22 | June 11, 2018 2:26 PM |
This bison was in the NYC Zoo. When he died, he was cut up for steaks! Not a cow, but a steak. This is a $50 gold coin.
by Anonymous | reply 23 | June 11, 2018 3:13 PM |
Oh my God, is that Clarabellet? Someone help her! Moooooo! Mooooo I say!
by Anonymous | reply 25 | June 19, 2018 1:33 AM |
It's Monday, I am here to moo, MOOO to all! MOooo.
by Anonymous | reply 26 | June 19, 2018 1:35 AM |
Oh no not Clarabelle! I can't look, I can't.
by Anonymous | reply 27 | June 19, 2018 1:37 AM |
Bad cow bad cow, whatcha gonna moo,
Whatcha gonna moo when they come for you.
by Anonymous | reply 28 | June 19, 2018 1:40 AM |
Nitrous, nobody got time for that! Do something!
by Anonymous | reply 29 | June 19, 2018 1:41 AM |
Me and the bulls are on it, don't you worry. That copper will rue the day. Poor Carl is inconsolable.
by Anonymous | reply 30 | June 19, 2018 1:47 AM |
Rhoda Scott shot that gif, by the way. Thanks, Rhoda.
by Anonymous | reply 31 | June 19, 2018 1:48 AM |
[quote] This bison was in the NYC Zoo. When he died, he was cut up for steaks! Not a cow, but a steak.
When you’re young, it’s all filet-steak, but as the years go by you have to move on to the cheaper cuts, which is fine with me because I like those. More flavorful, or so they say,
by Anonymous | reply 32 | June 19, 2018 2:05 AM |
Good day, Sir! Good day, Madam!
Moo, and may your Monday be filled with milk chocolate and ice cream!
by Anonymous | reply 34 | June 25, 2018 2:17 PM |
What adorable cows at, R34. Thanks for posting that. I almost makes me want to make that sound cows make.
by Anonymous | reply 35 | June 25, 2018 2:22 PM |
Let out your inner-cow, R35.
by Anonymous | reply 36 | June 25, 2018 4:00 PM |
It's Monday already? I almost missed this! Moooooo.
by Anonymous | reply 37 | June 26, 2018 1:12 AM |
Joffrey will blame his Alexa but we all know it is his TCM addiction that is keeping him up late.
by Anonymous | reply 38 | June 26, 2018 1:14 AM |
I am powerless.
by Anonymous | reply 39 | June 26, 2018 1:15 AM |
James Mason was a fool I tell you, Judy was doomed from the start.
by Anonymous | reply 40 | June 26, 2018 2:16 AM |
Moo!
by Anonymous | reply 42 | July 2, 2018 3:17 PM |
Dear Sir, Dear Madam,
I bid you good afternoon. I have left you my calling card.
by Anonymous | reply 43 | July 2, 2018 9:01 PM |
Have any of bovines engaged in a cow lick?
by Anonymous | reply 44 | July 2, 2018 9:03 PM |
What the heck is [italic] that, [/italic] R44?
by Anonymous | reply 45 | July 2, 2018 9:29 PM |
Too hot to moo, sorry.
by Anonymous | reply 46 | July 2, 2018 9:33 PM |
Take it easy, Mortimer. I will moo for you!
Moooooo!
by Anonymous | reply 47 | July 2, 2018 9:58 PM |
I am thinking of declaring next Monday as a competitive mooing day. Please save the date.
by Anonymous | reply 48 | July 3, 2018 1:03 AM |
What’s a moo cow doing on the beach?
by Anonymous | reply 50 | July 3, 2018 1:46 AM |
I am on holiday. All the Gals at the Gate are here! Moo!
by Anonymous | reply 51 | July 3, 2018 1:49 AM |
[quote] The Japanese are familiar with cattle (Wagyu beef), but never developed a dairy culture.
by Anonymous | reply 52 | July 3, 2018 2:23 AM |
OMG, fellas! He’s gonna sell Sally!
Why, he’s just fed up, that’s what he is. Fed up, I tell ya!
by Anonymous | reply 54 | July 9, 2018 3:37 AM |
She had the diarrhea last time, that’s all that is. Poor Sally. She was spooked by the new cow delivery to the farm, and she ran away. She came back though. Doesn’t seem to count for much. Poor gal.
by Anonymous | reply 55 | July 9, 2018 3:41 AM |
The farmer calls Sally a psychopath. Seems like a stretch for a cow.
by Anonymous | reply 57 | July 9, 2018 2:33 PM |
Here’s a dog that is visiting with the Gals at the Gate Guild.
by Anonymous | reply 58 | July 10, 2018 3:05 AM |
Is there an official naming board for guilds as there is for cattle names?
by Anonymous | reply 60 | July 10, 2018 3:07 AM |
Not yet, R60. Maybe you should create one? We shouldn’t wait until these things go pear-shaped, I don’t think.
by Anonymous | reply 61 | July 10, 2018 3:12 AM |
OMG, Molly has a blanket! I don’t have a blanket! Moo, btw.
by Anonymous | reply 62 | July 16, 2018 1:07 PM |
It seems that Muriel is determined to delete our previous thread.
Muriel, I summon thee! Get my darn thread back. A good moooooning to you, btw.
by Anonymous | reply 63 | July 16, 2018 1:13 PM |
I copied this from the previous thread, before it was forbidden.
[bold] Here are traditional names for cows. Please do not use hip new names for your cows without checking with the registration desk. Thank you. [/bold]
Bessie
Clarabelle
Betty Sue
Emma
Penelope
Henrietta
Ella
Nettie
Anna
Bella
Annabelle
Dorothy
Molly
Gertie
Annie
Melissa
"Cupcake" for your dairy cows, only
[bold]The following do not require pre-approval if you use them for your bull. Thank you. [/bold]
Hydro
Homer
Earl
Ferdinand
Diesel
Horns
Armor
Sampson
Tank
Kristof
Angus
Midnight
Nitrous
Melrose
by Anonymous | reply 64 | July 16, 2018 1:22 PM |
Why would such an innocuous thread be “disappeared”?
by Anonymous | reply 65 | July 16, 2018 1:38 PM |
Some people are cow-haters, R65. I’m sorry to relate this, but it’s true. Ah, innocent youth. Sad moo, here.
by Anonymous | reply 66 | July 16, 2018 2:24 PM |
Oh, dear, it’s [bold] “Gals at the Gate Guild”. [/bold] I almost had my pass pulled!
by Anonymous | reply 67 | July 16, 2018 8:22 PM |
Frankly, R65, I think it is because there isn’t a lot of traffic down at the Gate these days. Even with four legs! Sorry, Phyllis, but you’re not helping. Not that I know for sure, but it’s this cow’s sense that I have.
by Anonymous | reply 68 | July 16, 2018 8:27 PM |
R69, why don’t you mention the other animals in the video? Isn’t that speciesist of you?
by Anonymous | reply 70 | July 18, 2018 1:22 AM |
Oh, heaving, now my link is no good! What did you do, R70?
by Anonymous | reply 71 | July 18, 2018 3:11 AM |
It works for me, R71. Perhaps you’re being punished for being speciesist?
by Anonymous | reply 72 | July 18, 2018 3:20 AM |
And who are you, R72?
So, just maybe. Did Phyllis have a spot in that? She’s good in everything she does, like Meryl, or Elsie. I’ll watch her in anything.
Moo, btw. I do have manners, you know.
by Anonymous | reply 74 | July 18, 2018 2:16 PM |
I love the clip at R73. There should be more cows in the world.
by Anonymous | reply 75 | July 19, 2018 2:50 AM |
[quote] There should be more cows in the world.
Why? I understand that the methane from cows ended life on the moon Titan.
by Anonymous | reply 76 | July 19, 2018 7:11 AM |
Cows are needed for the war effort, R76. It took 250,000 cows to make one zeppelin.
If Mars had more cows, it would still have surface water and life.
by Anonymous | reply 77 | July 20, 2018 3:00 AM |
Which war, R77?
by Anonymous | reply 78 | July 20, 2018 3:01 AM |
Why, the Great War, of course!
by Anonymous | reply 79 | July 20, 2018 3:09 AM |
Günther, your side lost the Great War. Give it up.
by Anonymous | reply 80 | July 20, 2018 3:12 AM |
Good Morning, Sir! Good morning, Madam!
In honor of Günther, who has deigned to visiit us this fine month, we feature some German cows.
My God, you need to love cow bells, do you not?
Also, leave it to the Germans to apply eugenics to their cows, for Pete’s sake! (Do non-Christian cows say “for Pete’s sake!”? Please substitute ‘crap’, if desired. Ty.). Anyway, Günther and his cows. “We build strong cows by raising them in the Alps” is where we left off. What is that cow crap, (which, I think, everybody understands?)
Moo, from Melanie! Oh, it’s my first MMM greeting! I’m so happy!
by Anonymous | reply 81 | July 23, 2018 3:19 PM |
R 82, But where are the cows? It can’t be so great without cows, really. We all know that.
(And who are you, Sweetie? Günther? Herr Bratwurst? Mooing is optional but always appreciated, like a big penis.)
by Anonymous | reply 83 | July 23, 2018 7:07 PM |
Oh, I’m sorry, Moober. May I call you Moober, R82? I missed your moo. It’s my eyesight, you see. Don’t tell your maters, I’ll be groundbeef by pi ahhh!
by Anonymous | reply 84 | July 23, 2018 7:17 PM |
Melanie,
You did supurb! Moo and Good Day!
by Anonymous | reply 85 | July 24, 2018 12:42 AM |
Well done, Melanie! Muhen!
Here are common German names for girly cows:
Brunhilde
Lore
Lotte
Rosa
Thilde
Lisa
Marla
And Henrietta
Common male, or trans, names are:
Peppo
Maxi
Moriz
Otto, in honor of Günther‘s syphlic Grandpa
And Günther! Ta-Da! We have made an exception to honor our addled visitor, who didn’t offer a curtesy Muhen!
by Anonymous | reply 86 | July 24, 2018 1:00 AM |
[quote] Lore
Does Peter precede that?
by Anonymous | reply 87 | July 24, 2018 1:06 AM |
[quote] Lore
Does Peter precede that?
by Anonymous | reply 88 | July 24, 2018 1:08 AM |
I’m sure that must be true, R87, R88.
Muhen! That’s how we say it up in the Alps, btw.
by Anonymous | reply 89 | July 24, 2018 1:50 AM |
Here is an article on the Estonian Animal Recording Centre, for those interested.
by Anonymous | reply 90 | July 24, 2018 2:01 AM |
Oh, a belated Muhen to you all. I don’t know how I missed this but wanted to send it out. Günther is touring Bavaria in in.
by Anonymous | reply 91 | July 24, 2018 4:37 PM |
Phyllis here, sorry I've been away a few weeks.
What's this about our first thread being vaporized? I do not approve of this, no I do not.
A chicken can't take a vacation for even a moment without all hell breaking loose.
Well, no more vacations for me, then, no more. I spoil you.
by Anonymous | reply 92 | July 26, 2018 10:10 PM |
Phyllis, welcome Home, sister!
by Anonymous | reply 93 | July 26, 2018 10:56 PM |
Peppo! You still owe me that five bucks, mister, don't you try sweet talking me, Mister Moo, you hear?
Harumph.
by Anonymous | reply 94 | July 26, 2018 11:16 PM |
How did Peppo's name get approved?
You people gave me such a hard time, this is an injustice. Moo.
by Anonymous | reply 95 | July 26, 2018 11:17 PM |
Phyllis, how voluminous is your dairy air?
by Anonymous | reply 96 | July 26, 2018 11:32 PM |
Well muhen, R95! Peppo is an approved name under registration appendix 7, saying that names approved by recognized, foreign registration organizations are approved in the USA. You question the German registration system? See R86.
by Anonymous | reply 97 | July 26, 2018 11:34 PM |
Are the Germans efficient at slaughtering cows?
by Anonymous | reply 98 | July 26, 2018 11:37 PM |
Advil R95, are you sure your name isn’t Anvil? That sounds more likely.
by Anonymous | reply 99 | July 26, 2018 11:37 PM |
[quote] Advil [R95], are you sure your name isn’t Anvil? That sounds more likely.
Cows can help ease pain like Advil.
by Anonymous | reply 100 | July 26, 2018 11:42 PM |
My friend Anacin wants to know if he can join us.
Gertie? What do you say.
by Anonymous | reply 101 | July 26, 2018 11:45 PM |
I believe the name Anacin might be trademarked, mooo.
by Anonymous | reply 102 | July 26, 2018 11:47 PM |
So Bufferin is out, too? Mooooo.
by Anonymous | reply 103 | July 26, 2018 11:49 PM |
Nein! R101, whatever your name is, not unless he goes by “Annabelle”.
by Anonymous | reply 104 | July 26, 2018 11:51 PM |
How about Mydoll or Midol?
by Anonymous | reply 105 | July 26, 2018 11:51 PM |
I’m sorry, Buffy, no. You may name your bull “Buffalo”, though a lifetime of confusion will follow, I promise. That’s why the name is grayed-out in the Big Book of Names (unabridged).
So many questions tonight! And Phyllis just got back and all! Plus Günther’s month is up in only a few days.
by Anonymous | reply 106 | July 27, 2018 12:01 AM |
R98, you are being actively ignored, btw. Don’t think otherwise.
by Anonymous | reply 107 | July 27, 2018 12:05 AM |
Phyllis k where were you?
by Anonymous | reply 108 | July 27, 2018 12:32 AM |
i went to Roy for a feather fluffing, Bathazar, but since he's off the wagon (again,) he messed it all up and I had to hide out in Milwaukee for awhile.
Thanks alot, Roy.
by Anonymous | reply 109 | July 27, 2018 12:37 AM |
I really am sorry, Miss Phyllis.
by Anonymous | reply 110 | July 27, 2018 1:13 AM |
That's alright, Roy, it all grew back as you can see.
All is forgiven.
by Anonymous | reply 111 | July 27, 2018 1:18 AM |
Phyllis,
I’ve been looking for a hat like that! Ostrich feathers, right?
by Anonymous | reply 112 | July 27, 2018 2:05 AM |
Are any of you moo cows lactose intolerant?
by Anonymous | reply 113 | July 27, 2018 2:34 AM |
Is there an Isabella to your Ferdinand?
by Anonymous | reply 115 | July 27, 2018 2:44 AM |
I like Hydro. But he has that gassy problem in the morning.
by Anonymous | reply 116 | July 27, 2018 2:55 AM |
Haha, Phyllis, is this how you fly? They look like they fell off the back of the KFC corporate jet.
by Anonymous | reply 117 | July 28, 2018 6:36 PM |
Some of them chickens gave up on flying entirely and are running down the mountain on their little feet. So cute!
by Anonymous | reply 118 | July 28, 2018 6:40 PM |
Muhen, dear cows, bulls, and steers! With the close of July, so ends our hommage to Günther and his Bavarian bovines. New week, we are back to the Gate, Gals!
by Anonymous | reply 119 | July 30, 2018 8:35 PM |
Farewell, Günther, off you go in your beautiful cow balloon, suspended under a twilight canopy.
Send a postcard from your next stop!
Check your basket before lift-off, though. There's a certain little piggy who is known to stowaway, then pirate the ship. Yes, Carl, I mean you, don't look so surprised.
Goodbye, Günther, goodbye!
by Anonymous | reply 120 | July 30, 2018 9:28 PM |
Muhen, und Auf Wiedersehen, meine Frau, Dulcinea! I think I’ll miss you most of all!
by Anonymous | reply 121 | July 30, 2018 10:48 PM |
Wait! Did he go yet?? The hens have a special send-off for him!
by Anonymous | reply 122 | July 30, 2018 11:36 PM |
Is that Phyllis Diller at R122?
by Anonymous | reply 123 | July 30, 2018 11:38 PM |
Well of course it is, dear.
Here's the hens, they took such a liking to Günther that they gussied themselves up for the big goodbye.
Nicely done, Roy.
by Anonymous | reply 124 | July 30, 2018 11:45 PM |
Thank you, Phyllis, it was an honor.
I'll miss you too, Günther, come back soon, buddy. Your next perm's on me.
by Anonymous | reply 125 | July 30, 2018 11:50 PM |
Carl loves his Nitrous.
by Anonymous | reply 127 | July 30, 2018 11:57 PM |
Günther left a clover bouquet beneath the pillow of every dairy cow. He is one classy Bavarian, I'll say.
by Anonymous | reply 128 | July 31, 2018 12:05 AM |
I think I just heard Günther yodel! He sounded very far away 🧐
by Anonymous | reply 129 | July 31, 2018 12:18 AM |
Yoda lay hee moooo...
by Anonymous | reply 130 | July 31, 2018 12:22 AM |
R130, when 900 years you reach, moo as well you will not.
by Anonymous | reply 131 | July 31, 2018 12:23 AM |
R130, That’s it! That’s what I heard!
Phyllis, your chicken friends are adorable. Your efforts were not wasted. You should all go out clubbing tonight.
Btw, I am curious if anyone clicked the link in R119, and played to hear the proper pronunciation of “hommage” in German?
by Anonymous | reply 132 | July 31, 2018 12:30 AM |
I can't click it, Beauregard, what am I missing, I hate being out of the loop.
by Anonymous | reply 133 | July 31, 2018 12:36 AM |
Oh, dear, I think I’ve stepped in it now. There sees to be quite a dispute on the pronunciation of this one.
by Anonymous | reply 134 | July 31, 2018 12:55 AM |
Stepped in what, R134?
by Anonymous | reply 135 | July 31, 2018 12:57 AM |
IT WAS COW POOP, OKAY? Sue got nervous when she saw the air balloon. So she got diarrhea, again.
I just think it’s funny the enthusiasm with which some Europeans say certain words. He’s the link again, if it works this time.
by Anonymous | reply 136 | July 31, 2018 1:06 AM |
The urban dictionary has a good entry, but no audible pronunciation.
by Anonymous | reply 137 | July 31, 2018 1:09 AM |
R136, I call bullshit on that!
by Anonymous | reply 138 | July 31, 2018 1:10 AM |
Yes, it certainly sounds... determined .
by Anonymous | reply 139 | July 31, 2018 1:10 AM |
Is it wrong that I have been counting down the minutes to our Monday morning moo?
Is it wrong that my Monday morning moo is nothing without you?
by Anonymous | reply 140 | August 6, 2018 12:20 AM |
No, Lottie, it’s irresistible, we know. Do you know Günther?
by Anonymous | reply 141 | August 6, 2018 1:35 AM |
Oh this heat today, heavens! What I wouldn't give for a cool dip in the pond, which appears to have evaporated. Moo to Moriz and all. And of course I know Günther, he is magnificent.
by Anonymous | reply 144 | August 6, 2018 2:13 PM |
Carl just set up a sprinkler, Lotte, good news for all!
by Anonymous | reply 145 | August 6, 2018 2:15 PM |
This is also lovely, all cow friends welcome.
by Anonymous | reply 146 | August 6, 2018 5:43 PM |
Is Auntie Taco an approved name?
by Anonymous | reply 147 | August 6, 2018 6:03 PM |
I'm not Gertie but it seems to me that the Big Book of Names (unabridged,) is meant for cows and bulls only, not our feathered friends. Or pigs, for that matter. Is this correct?
by Anonymous | reply 148 | August 6, 2018 7:43 PM |
Thank you, Maxi, yes. I was in the lower 40. It’s cooler there, but there’s no WiFi. Oh, wait, don’t forget them Steers, dear!
by Anonymous | reply 149 | August 6, 2018 11:18 PM |
Besides, that looks suspiciously like Phyllis.
by Anonymous | reply 150 | August 6, 2018 11:18 PM |
Thank you, Carl.
He’s quite an engineer, that Carl.
I shall oink, this one time, in appreciation.
by Anonymous | reply 151 | August 6, 2018 11:31 PM |
Quite an engineer. The progenitor and creator of Mookind?
by Anonymous | reply 152 | August 6, 2018 11:33 PM |
Let’s not get carried away, R152. Was this book written by a cow?
by Anonymous | reply 153 | August 6, 2018 11:41 PM |
Auntie Taco is my twin brother, Gertie. Good eye! He doesn't want to be called Uncle Taco, he says it doesn't "flow," whatever that means.
by Anonymous | reply 154 | August 6, 2018 11:41 PM |
Your parents named you Phylis and Taco? Something smells fishy around here, and it’s not Carl.
by Anonymous | reply 155 | August 6, 2018 11:51 PM |
Carl does smell, but not fishy. If that wasn’t clear.
by Anonymous | reply 156 | August 6, 2018 11:52 PM |
Why did Muriel delete the other Moo thread?
I always thought she was so nice. Now, I'm not sure...
by Anonymous | reply 157 | August 7, 2018 12:33 AM |
Right about the end of May. We should strike. A few days without buttermilk and Muriel will come begging to us.
by Anonymous | reply 158 | August 7, 2018 12:51 AM |
It's an unfathomable cruelty, r157.
But you really should sign your name, and a courtesy moo is always appreciated. It's still Monday!
by Anonymous | reply 159 | August 7, 2018 12:52 AM |
Oh and look, I forgot to moo, too!
Bountiful moos,
by Anonymous | reply 160 | August 7, 2018 12:56 AM |
Cow Down! Cow Down!
(An urgent message from the Critical Cow Care Committee.)
We come to you on a very humid Tuesday of all days, to remind you all to stay hydrated this summer season.
Questions? Ask Hydro, for real! In an emergency, call us at 1-800-COW-DOWN for emergency advice and a free electrolyte delivery with sprinkler hook-up, courtesy of Carl and his deep-pocketed Parisian friends.
Viva la France, enjoy your summer (moo implied.)
by Anonymous | reply 161 | August 7, 2018 8:07 PM |
I could almost swear I saw a tv commercial for this starring Sally Struthers.
by Anonymous | reply 162 | August 7, 2018 8:42 PM |
No, it was Carrie Fisher and she was so real I could have touched her spleen.
by Anonymous | reply 163 | August 7, 2018 9:11 PM |
Thank you, Homer, for your concern for your fellow cows. Yes, the French are very nice, too.
by Anonymous | reply 164 | August 7, 2018 9:33 PM |
Hydro, today I noticed my hooves are dry and flaky. Is this a sign that I'm going to die?
by Anonymous | reply 165 | August 7, 2018 9:44 PM |
Oops, let me sign that thus:
by Anonymous | reply 166 | August 7, 2018 9:48 PM |
Hi, this is Hydro's voicemail, for an emergency please press 911.
*If you pressed 911, you are going to die. Please hang up and die again.
If you would like a free electrolyte replacement and a free sprinkler, please press 2. If you think you will die before we get to you, please press 911 and die again.
by Anonymous | reply 167 | August 7, 2018 10:03 PM |
Moo! It bears repeating.
by Anonymous | reply 168 | August 8, 2018 12:25 AM |
Good morning, dear cows. It’s still too darn hot. Who’s in charge of these thing? I’ll be at the beach!
by Anonymous | reply 169 | August 13, 2018 4:27 AM |
Well hello there mooers, and a glorious hoo to you, since I don't moo. Hoo!
by Anonymous | reply 170 | August 13, 2018 2:02 PM |
Moo, Titus. How is our lovely mouser?
My go-to farm in Ptown has raised their rates, finally, into the stratosphere, and now I have to find a new farm. I just cant afford the old place anymore. I’ve stayed there most years since 1984, at least for a little bit.
by Anonymous | reply 171 | August 13, 2018 2:18 PM |
Max, is it perhaps time you were put to pasture?
by Anonymous | reply 172 | August 13, 2018 3:04 PM |
I’ll never stop not being put to pasture, vows Max!
by Anonymous | reply 174 | August 13, 2018 6:27 PM |
Moo! Good night, cows!
by Anonymous | reply 175 | August 14, 2018 3:02 AM |
It's Monday morning in Paris,
Bon-moo, good friends, bon-moo!
by Anonymous | reply 176 | August 20, 2018 12:53 AM |
Moo, M. Fromage!
Good morning, Dear Sir and Madam! Here are Hope and Love on a very special Monday Morning Moo.
by Anonymous | reply 177 | August 20, 2018 1:42 PM |
Moriz,
Have you been to a speech therapist? Your lisp is improved today, good moo sir.
by Anonymous | reply 178 | August 20, 2018 2:11 PM |
Good day to you four-leggers, it's finally cooled off a bit here, so consider joining me, Auntie, Taco and the hens for an afternoon competitive chicken dance party. Titus is our MC. There will be pie.
As always, I don't moo so, baGAWK.
by Anonymous | reply 179 | August 20, 2018 2:18 PM |
Hello, Homer. Why thank you good Sir! But no. Moriz is a fine German Bull name. With a zed. Moo.
by Anonymous | reply 180 | August 20, 2018 2:18 PM |
I made some beautiful cow pie this morning, Phyllis. I'll bring you some.
by Anonymous | reply 181 | August 20, 2018 2:22 PM |
Lovely, Earl. Moo.
by Anonymous | reply 182 | August 20, 2018 3:47 PM |
Thank you, Phyllis, but when and where?
by Anonymous | reply 183 | August 20, 2018 4:20 PM |
Moo!
by Anonymous | reply 184 | August 20, 2018 7:27 PM |
Bossy my dear, I'm glad you found the chicken dance party on your own, Sorry to have missed your post.
This is a good time to congratulate you, too! Bossy came in second out of a competition of eleven! He is the only bull to score in the top five. All else were feathered.
Thanks to Titus for keeping the momentum going, and for those of you writing in, NO. There is no leftover pie.
Try us again in a few months. BaGAWK
by Anonymous | reply 185 | August 20, 2018 10:00 PM |
My twin sister didn't mention that I came in first. Blue ribbons for ME!
by Anonymous | reply 186 | August 20, 2018 10:06 PM |
[quote] There is no leftover pie.
Were they mincemeat pies?
by Anonymous | reply 187 | August 20, 2018 10:54 PM |
I wish I could spend all my days amongst the cows, owls, pigs, and chickens. Moo and BaGAWKOOOO to all!
by Anonymous | reply 188 | August 20, 2018 11:22 PM |
MmmmmoooOOOOOOoo!
*phew
I've been holding that in since Tuesday...
Good morning everyone.
by Anonymous | reply 190 | August 27, 2018 11:46 AM |
Mooo, Tommy. You shouldn't hold in your moos, though. Gas. Exploding udders. It's just not a good idea, buddy.
by Anonymous | reply 191 | August 27, 2018 11:52 AM |
Love that snapshot, Beauregard. I'm not positive but I think Carl is taking the picture. He still uses that old polaroid camera from the sixties and damn, it still works. Who's the hot llama? MOoo moo mooo.
by Anonymous | reply 193 | August 27, 2018 2:25 PM |
Ewwwwww, Fabiola. Attraction to other species.
by Anonymous | reply 194 | August 27, 2018 2:27 PM |
Carl’s very tech savvy. Moo, of course.
by Anonymous | reply 195 | August 27, 2018 2:30 PM |
I saw Carl hitchhiking the other day, he was carrying his ukelele, an overnight bag and a sign that read "Havana." On a cigar excursion, probably.
by Anonymous | reply 196 | August 27, 2018 2:41 PM |
He’s a wanderer. That’s for sure. I hope he reads DataLounge, or his Mom educated him about not accepting rides from creeps. More people die from politeness and embarrassment than from any other cause.
“Thank you for stopping to offer a ride on this otherwise deserted farmhouse road, but I can smell a slaughterhouse from 1000 meters away.”
“No, I’m not choking, but thank you for offering the Heimlich.”
“No, I haven’t had too much to drink, I schlur can drive per-perfectly well.”
by Anonymous | reply 197 | August 27, 2018 7:29 PM |
Who was that poster at r197, no signature and not even a moo?
Courtesies are dying around here, muhen.
by Anonymous | reply 198 | August 27, 2018 7:49 PM |
Melrose you are right of course, but I share the anonymooos' concern for Carl.
WE KNOW Carl took a hit to the head back in the nineties (rumour has it that it was an airborne coconut on some storm-ravaged island, but we can't check, Muriel, CAN WE? Because that thread was deleted.)
Carl's decision-making is not the best. Besides, how is he getting to Havana by car, he's not in Cuba.
I noticed he took his fedora.
by Anonymous | reply 199 | August 27, 2018 8:01 PM |
I am further vexed because I can't remember the name of my secretary! It began with a J I think.
Juh... Juh... Juh something...
These frustrations are ceaseless. Can somebody help me with this one?
by Anonymous | reply 200 | August 27, 2018 8:38 PM |
Beauchamp I don't remember the name of your secretary, who remembers the help, not me. But I do think you spelled your own name wrong.
Hieronymous? That looks right.
by Anonymous | reply 201 | August 27, 2018 8:41 PM |
Where's Gertie? Gertie, we need your help!
by Anonymous | reply 202 | August 27, 2018 8:47 PM |
This is Simplicio and I pee on Fabiola!
I'm an Alpaca, not a goddamned llama. Educate yourself!
by Anonymous | reply 203 | August 27, 2018 8:54 PM |
Gertie, we have problems on this MMM. Come in, Gertie. Come in.
by Anonymous | reply 204 | August 27, 2018 8:58 PM |
Just everybody calm down one second, calm, calm.
Let's remember why we're here. Moo, cluck, baGAWK, hoo and moink, let's take a breath.
by Anonymous | reply 205 | August 27, 2018 9:13 PM |
what the FUCK is this?
by Anonymous | reply 206 | August 27, 2018 9:15 PM |
Just the best thread on the net, r206.
And you forgot to Moo, r206. You will also need a name, "Anonymous" doesn't cut it around here.
by Anonymous | reply 207 | August 27, 2018 9:32 PM |
Moooooo.
Happy Moo Day. I was just absentmindedly massaging my udders.
by Anonymous | reply 208 | August 27, 2018 9:34 PM |
A male WHAT.
by Anonymous | reply 209 | August 27, 2018 9:38 PM |
Oh shut up, Not Gertie, that could have been Carl.
We love you Carl!
((He gets confused))
by Anonymous | reply 210 | August 27, 2018 9:41 PM |
R208 does sound alot like Carl.
by Anonymous | reply 211 | August 27, 2018 10:09 PM |
I’m here! I had gas, you understand,
What’s up?
by Anonymous | reply 212 | August 28, 2018 1:25 AM |
Barnabas, for shame, dear. “alot”? Surely that will be a word in 30 years, but not yet! I think you were tipped by too many coeds.
by Anonymous | reply 213 | August 28, 2018 2:49 AM |
Did I miss the party?
by Anonymous | reply 214 | August 28, 2018 4:22 PM |
Gertie dear, yes! You did miss the party. Didn't you see us calling out for you last night? We sure could have used your wisdom. For a minute it seemed there could have been blood shed.
But no matter now, just keep mooing. All seems well at the Farm.
by Anonymous | reply 215 | August 28, 2018 11:48 PM |
Oh, I should have signed that,
Ah-moo.
by Anonymous | reply 216 | August 28, 2018 11:51 PM |
Benedictus has wimples in her hair.
by Anonymous | reply 217 | August 28, 2018 11:54 PM |
I even heard him singing in the abbey!
by Anonymous | reply 218 | August 28, 2018 11:56 PM |
... The abbey?
From the looks of it, Carl's been snuffed. The letter C.
Hopefully it's just somebody insignificant like Charlamagne, who never writes/never calls. I rather dislike that cow.
by Anonymous | reply 219 | August 29, 2018 12:02 AM |
Carl doesn't die, dear. Carl never dies.
by Anonymous | reply 220 | August 29, 2018 12:04 AM |
I heard there are murderous blobfish going around... Let's just be careful, folks
by Anonymous | reply 221 | August 29, 2018 12:07 AM |
I love the people who exclaime “what the fuck is this”, and similar. As if it’s not self explanatory.
Merrily I Moo.
by Anonymous | reply 222 | August 29, 2018 12:48 AM |
Bertrand is my spirit animal. I kind of love you, Bertrand.
by Anonymous | reply 223 | August 29, 2018 1:48 AM |
I love you too, Hydro! 💕
by Anonymous | reply 224 | August 29, 2018 1:57 AM |
Oh my gosh! Sorry for the late greeting! I didn’t know it was my shift today! All the gals are down at the gate, in labor, I understand! What a fine day! But honestly, sorry for the delayed Moooo!
Here is a doggo getting a head moossage.
Cheers!
by Anonymous | reply 225 | September 3, 2018 7:31 PM |
Well I was here early this morning but I didn't want to wake you all up with my thunderous moo, so MOOOOOO! I do love Mondays.
by Anonymous | reply 226 | September 3, 2018 8:06 PM |
Great video, Cupcake, delightful, mooOOO!
by Anonymous | reply 227 | September 3, 2018 8:09 PM |
Hi there, moo cows.
by Anonymous | reply 228 | September 3, 2018 9:45 PM |
Oh, moo everybody.
We’ve sponsored a Swedish exchange cow for the month of September. Her name is Fjällko. Please do not call her “Flako”. Her name means “graze” in English so you may call her Grace or Gracie. She has a winning personality and makes friends easily.
by Anonymous | reply 229 | September 3, 2018 10:06 PM |
Gracie appears to have melanoma, oh my.
by Anonymous | reply 230 | September 3, 2018 10:36 PM |
She’s Swedish, Phyllis. Be nice. She needs a sponsor, btw. You don’t seem to be too busy. How ‘bout it?
by Anonymous | reply 231 | September 3, 2018 10:41 PM |
Ingrid Bergman was Swedish, and for that fact alone I'll do it!
by Anonymous | reply 232 | September 3, 2018 10:49 PM |
Great! Introduce her around. Don’t expect her to was your car, though.
by Anonymous | reply 233 | September 3, 2018 11:00 PM |
I still miss Günther...
by Anonymous | reply 234 | September 3, 2018 11:19 PM |
I’m sure he misses you, too, Dulcinea.
by Anonymous | reply 235 | September 4, 2018 12:19 AM |
Cows are still at the gate with labor pains.
by Anonymous | reply 236 | September 4, 2018 12:44 AM |
[quote] Fjällko
Is she future IKEA meatballs?
by Anonymous | reply 237 | September 4, 2018 2:03 AM |
[quote] She needs a sponsor, btw.
Hormel?
by Anonymous | reply 238 | September 4, 2018 2:04 AM |
Leave Fjällko alone! She hasn’t hurt anybody!
by Anonymous | reply 239 | September 4, 2018 2:43 AM |
Angus beef
by Anonymous | reply 240 | September 4, 2018 2:56 AM |
He’ll fuck you up, R240. He has friends in high places.
by Anonymous | reply 241 | September 4, 2018 3:05 AM |
R241, I wasn’t referring to Angus. I was referring to the remains.
by Anonymous | reply 242 | September 4, 2018 3:11 AM |
Okay, ... if that’s your story.
by Anonymous | reply 243 | September 4, 2018 3:35 AM |
The oh-so-yummy remains.
by Anonymous | reply 244 | September 4, 2018 3:43 AM |
Angus plays cards with Muriel once a week, so go ahead, make fun. While you can, I mean.
by Anonymous | reply 245 | September 4, 2018 3:53 AM |
Well that's a fast friendship. I just saw Phyllis riding on Gracie's back down by the creek, squawking with glee. And for her part, Gracie seemed entirely besotted with Phyllis, batting her eyes and giggling. I do see why Gracie was selected for sponsorship, what an enchanting gal. Well done, Molly.
by Anonymous | reply 246 | September 4, 2018 6:47 PM |
J'adore Fjällko/Gracie. It's the freckles of course, but also she offered tango lessons free of charge!
Who does that? Nobody does that. I'm going to say yes.
by Anonymous | reply 247 | September 4, 2018 6:54 PM |
Carl can play a stunning tango on his ukelele, oh yes, yes he can.
Who else here is musical? It would be nice to have a MMM band...
by Anonymous | reply 248 | September 4, 2018 6:58 PM |
Guffaw over r237, though I shouldn't.
by Anonymous | reply 249 | September 4, 2018 7:09 PM |
[quote] she offered tango lessons free of charge!
I take it she does not have four left hooves.
by Anonymous | reply 250 | September 4, 2018 7:16 PM |
Ha Ha Ha, oh how we Ha.
Ha!
by Anonymous | reply 251 | September 4, 2018 7:38 PM |
Fjällko moves like a tall reed in a gentle breeze. Breathtaking.
by Anonymous | reply 252 | September 4, 2018 7:42 PM |
Mookail Baryshnikov
by Anonymous | reply 253 | September 4, 2018 7:48 PM |
I know for a fact it was Misha's wish to dance with a cow, a Swedish cow, speckled and lithe and bewitching.
by Anonymous | reply 254 | September 4, 2018 8:18 PM |
[quote] R225: So only now do I learn that none of the Gals at the Gate were actually in labor yesterday, despite an entire day set aside for that purpose. False labor, apparently. Mass hysteria. Something like that.
by Anonymous | reply 255 | September 4, 2018 9:10 PM |
It felt real to me.
by Anonymous | reply 256 | September 4, 2018 9:17 PM |
I even bought him his first housecoat, Molly.
by Anonymous | reply 257 | September 4, 2018 9:19 PM |
I still believe it.
by Anonymous | reply 258 | September 4, 2018 9:21 PM |
Molly, are you a prickly pear? You seem prickly, and it's giving me the nerves. How about some therapeutic tango lessons, hmm?
by Anonymous | reply 259 | September 4, 2018 9:29 PM |
Beef with Prickly Pear and Port Sauce recipe
by Anonymous | reply 260 | September 4, 2018 9:34 PM |
I refuse to be triggered, r260 you cowering coward. Sign your name! Reveal yourself.
by Anonymous | reply 261 | September 4, 2018 9:41 PM |
Just ignore it, dear Angus. WWGD?
by Anonymous | reply 262 | September 4, 2018 9:42 PM |
Well this is getting ugly. I'm folding tent and I'll see you next week.
by Anonymous | reply 263 | September 4, 2018 9:44 PM |
I'm out, too. This is a terrible welcome to our Swedes.
by Anonymous | reply 264 | September 4, 2018 9:47 PM |
Günther would not approve. No.
by Anonymous | reply 265 | September 4, 2018 9:49 PM |
I AM NOT A PRICKLY PEAR, Angus!
by Anonymous | reply 266 | September 4, 2018 10:01 PM |
Why is there consternation on this thread?
by Anonymous | reply 267 | September 4, 2018 10:02 PM |
Because people like you, R267, post your message without a courtesy “Moo”, or signature!
by Anonymous | reply 268 | September 4, 2018 10:06 PM |
R268, what if I’m not a cow? Is a moo still appropriate?
by Anonymous | reply 269 | September 4, 2018 10:18 PM |
Of course it’s still appropriate! Do you think no one noticed?
by Anonymous | reply 270 | September 4, 2018 10:28 PM |
I definitely noticed.
Moo.
by Anonymous | reply 271 | September 4, 2018 10:45 PM |
Never EVER should there be consternation on this thread,
Carl has provided this lovely ambrosia for all, kindly line up, have a sip and feel the love.
by Anonymous | reply 272 | September 4, 2018 10:55 PM |
Everything is spinning...
by Anonymous | reply 273 | September 4, 2018 11:30 PM |
I feel so close to you all, all of you, what?
by Anonymous | reply 274 | September 4, 2018 11:31 PM |
What. That's spelled funny. Whaaat.
by Anonymous | reply 275 | September 4, 2018 11:33 PM |
[quote] Carl has provided this lovely ambrosia for all, kindly line up, have a sip and feel the love.
Kow kum?
by Anonymous | reply 276 | September 4, 2018 11:37 PM |
What?
by Anonymous | reply 278 | September 4, 2018 11:41 PM |
Spinning... Love... It's so good... I am not a pear... What...
by Anonymous | reply 279 | September 4, 2018 11:43 PM |
I feel love you guys
by Anonymous | reply 280 | September 4, 2018 11:47 PM |
Carl is a witch, I'm telling you.
by Anonymous | reply 281 | September 4, 2018 11:48 PM |
Dear God, Carl, what did you do.
by Anonymous | reply 282 | September 4, 2018 11:55 PM |
R281, why don’t you attempt to drown Carl to confirm whether or not he’s a witch (and/or warlock)?
by Anonymous | reply 283 | September 5, 2018 12:00 AM |
He called me r281, what. Spinning...
by Anonymous | reply 284 | September 5, 2018 12:03 AM |
To r283, Carl doesn't die, dear. Carl never dies.
by Anonymous | reply 285 | September 5, 2018 12:10 AM |
Moo and Good day Sir, Good day Madam! May all the cows in your life be grass-fed!
by Anonymous | reply 286 | September 10, 2018 2:21 PM |
Carl is a good swimmer, btw. That’s already been established.
Moo.
by Anonymous | reply 287 | September 10, 2018 2:27 PM |
Has anyone taken Gracie swimming yet? That would be a nice thing to do.
by Anonymous | reply 288 | September 10, 2018 3:01 PM |
Are you saying Gracie is a witch too?
by Anonymous | reply 289 | September 10, 2018 3:24 PM |
Å nej, R289! She’s a charmer, that’s for sure, but not a witch! Carl’s not a witch, either. He’s a bit of a pig, though.
by Anonymous | reply 290 | September 10, 2018 3:34 PM |
Moo, everyone! Happy Monday. Gracie/Fjallko is cordially invited to come swimming with me and the Bulls anytime. We found a secret spring!
Also, I noticed an impossibly tall, handsome Friesen waiting by the Gate the other day. Anyone know who that is?
by Anonymous | reply 291 | September 10, 2018 4:35 PM |
Yes, Thor, that's Hans. He's Gracie's ballroom dance coach. Gertie wouldn't let him in because his name is not approved... I mean, an exception once in a while wouldn't be so bad, don't you think?
by Anonymous | reply 292 | September 10, 2018 4:41 PM |
Thor you spelled Friesian wrong, and he is a horse, not a bull, to be clear.
by Anonymous | reply 293 | September 10, 2018 5:05 PM |
Pigs? Horses? Are you moo cows into mating between species? That’s obscene.
by Anonymous | reply 294 | September 10, 2018 5:29 PM |
Gosh, is this him? Dreamy!
Open the gate, Titus!
by Anonymous | reply 295 | September 10, 2018 5:50 PM |
I have this theory that Advil actually gives you a headache.
by Anonymous | reply 296 | September 10, 2018 5:52 PM |
You cows just looove to make fun of me, hmmph.
by Anonymous | reply 297 | September 10, 2018 6:03 PM |
Yes, that's him! He's very tall and swarthy, yet so light on his feet, so debonair. So elegant.
I saw a video of him running but i cant link to it. It's just astonishing, if you'd like to search. It's title is Fresian meets cows, on youtube. Molly posted it, I think.
Can cows mate with horses? What about chickens?
by Anonymous | reply 298 | September 10, 2018 6:10 PM |
Hmm, Hans is a bit of a prancer, it seems.
by Anonymous | reply 300 | September 10, 2018 6:17 PM |
Can Friesians mate with chickens?? I am IN LOVE.
by Anonymous | reply 301 | September 10, 2018 6:21 PM |
How do you think they make split chickens, Auntie Taco? Yes. By all means.
by Anonymous | reply 302 | September 10, 2018 6:23 PM |
You’ve all been so niece, that I an very flatulent to be treated so well! Moo!
by Anonymous | reply 303 | September 10, 2018 8:17 PM |
If you didn't feel a need to pickle your grass, Fjällkot, I think this would not be an issue. Also, I like your swedish name best and I am using it.
by Anonymous | reply 304 | September 10, 2018 8:38 PM |
Kringla and glögg at Gracie's tonight! 7:30 sharp, all invited, dress smart/casual.
Gracie and Hans have prepared a special dance performance to thank us for hosting them. There will be tapping.
by Anonymous | reply 305 | September 10, 2018 8:56 PM |
Gracie at r303, the word you're looking for is flattering, dear, not flatulence. Ha!
by Anonymous | reply 306 | September 10, 2018 9:00 PM |
Where’s the best place to buy a cow of my own? I’d prefer one that doesn’t grow much so I can keep it as a pet. Are there Shetland Island cows for example?
by Anonymous | reply 307 | September 10, 2018 9:07 PM |
Moo!
by Anonymous | reply 308 | September 10, 2018 10:46 PM |
R307, have you tried the farmer’s market?
by Anonymous | reply 309 | September 11, 2018 1:46 AM |
I want to buy a cow not a farmer, R309.
by Anonymous | reply 310 | September 11, 2018 1:54 AM |
If we had a chicken thread, I wouldn’t have to post this here.
by Anonymous | reply 311 | September 11, 2018 2:24 AM |
Do chickens moo or is that unique to bovine kind?
by Anonymous | reply 312 | September 11, 2018 2:35 AM |
Not usually, R312. In this case, I am mooing for them.
by Anonymous | reply 313 | September 11, 2018 2:43 AM |
I like the chickens in R311 that are running down the hill.
by Anonymous | reply 314 | September 11, 2018 2:25 PM |
That's some good flapping, Horns, at r311.
Coupla things:
Chickens are bad mooers, but cockatoos nail it eveytime. Parrots too.
Tiny cows are real! Tiny cows make great pets for chickens! Even people!
Will The Gals at the Gate consider sponsoring a tiny cow next month? Although we love Fjällkot and Hans forever, of course.
by Anonymous | reply 315 | September 11, 2018 7:46 PM |
I saw these at Walmart and they're each full grown. You'll have to wrestle them through check-out, but from there it's nothing but love love love.
And they do like chickens, I've heard.
by Anonymous | reply 316 | September 11, 2018 7:57 PM |
That one on the left? I call her Lash.
by Anonymous | reply 317 | September 11, 2018 7:59 PM |
Ewwwwww, you moo - you shop at Walmart?
by Anonymous | reply 318 | September 11, 2018 8:42 PM |
Adorable. Cows are adorable.
by Anonymous | reply 319 | September 11, 2018 9:04 PM |
Yes, you moo-less contrarian at r318, Whatever your name is.
I buy my mini-moo cows and my Q-Tips there. I need lots of Q-Tips for their dainty ears.
by Anonymous | reply 320 | September 11, 2018 9:38 PM |
Moo! Moo, everycow! This is an Annabelle Alert!
Cows in the Carolinas are ordered back to their barn, tomorrow. Cows in Virginia and Georgia are to be on alert for additional messages, later. Please do not use this emergency as an excuse to drink. Walmart cows may hunker down in the Garden Department. Thank you.
by Anonymous | reply 321 | September 11, 2018 9:59 PM |
Ah God we're all gonna die!
by Anonymous | reply 322 | September 11, 2018 11:09 PM |
[quote] Do we store future moos in a zip-loc bag?
A styrofoam tray usually suffices.
by Anonymous | reply 323 | September 11, 2018 11:14 PM |
Gracie, you and Hans- Quickly! Go to the gate and sandbag all night.
by Anonymous | reply 324 | September 11, 2018 11:17 PM |
I saw it! I saw it!
Pointsettia was about to thank the immigrants from sweden for sandbagging our motherland, when WHOOOOSH,
Pointsettia was gone. Just GONE like that. I didnt even hear a moo.
by Anonymous | reply 325 | September 11, 2018 11:24 PM |
I never liked her name anway.
by Anonymous | reply 326 | September 11, 2018 11:29 PM |
Totally overrated.
by Anonymous | reply 327 | September 11, 2018 11:36 PM |
Pointsettia is fine, she sends her love.
Stop being overly dramatic, Bertram. Bertram? As in, Bert-Tram? I have no idea how that one slipped by. I will call you Bernadette. Bernadette, Pointsettia just went to a farm, where she can make new friends, and frolic, and so forth.
Does anyone need a blue tarp? I have some extra. IM me.
by Anonymous | reply 328 | September 11, 2018 11:46 PM |
My bathtub is filled with clover now. Should the worst happen, youre all invited.
Bertie (shall i call you Gertie?) gets a little tense in wind. Like Pointsettia, I'm sure she'll be fine.
by Anonymous | reply 329 | September 11, 2018 11:52 PM |
[quote] Henrietta and the cows of tomorrow
You read like a Marvel Comic Superhero. Are you?
by Anonymous | reply 330 | September 11, 2018 11:56 PM |
My bathtub is filled with crimson. I just finished chopping a nice juicy shank in there. Of course you’re all invited.
by Anonymous | reply 331 | September 11, 2018 11:57 PM |
I'd prefer a yellow tarp, BerGertie, do you have something sunshiny?
by Anonymous | reply 332 | September 11, 2018 11:58 PM |
Melrose, can I nestle beneath you through the storm? Hold me, I'm frightened.
by Anonymous | reply 333 | September 12, 2018 12:01 AM |
I only have blue! I can’t do everything, you know!
Has someone wrapped the Big Book of Cow Names? I can’t find my copy. Can someone double bag it?
How exciting for Gracie!
by Anonymous | reply 334 | September 12, 2018 12:02 AM |
^ Still Bertram, still here
by Anonymous | reply 335 | September 12, 2018 12:03 AM |
[quote] Can someone double bag it?
I have plenty of experience double bagging.
by Anonymous | reply 336 | September 12, 2018 12:05 AM |
Yes, someone wrapped the Big Book of Cow Names, but they wrapped it in McDonalds Quarter Pounder with Cheese paper. This is offensive.
by Anonymous | reply 337 | September 12, 2018 12:07 AM |
Did you get fries with that, Maxi?
by Anonymous | reply 338 | September 12, 2018 12:10 AM |
But it’s recyclable, R337. Doesn’t that count for something?
by Anonymous | reply 339 | September 12, 2018 12:10 AM |
Begone, GoopCow. Hisss.
by Anonymous | reply 340 | September 12, 2018 12:12 AM |
This is very confusing.
I’m doing a roll call later.
by Anonymous | reply 341 | September 12, 2018 12:13 AM |
Can one tip over a cow during a storm?
by Anonymous | reply 342 | September 12, 2018 12:16 AM |
I thought your name was Laurencio, Larry. I'm with Gertie. Roll call!
by Anonymous | reply 343 | September 12, 2018 12:17 AM |
Eye of the Storm
Or
Ribeye?
Take my “pole” please.
by Anonymous | reply 344 | September 12, 2018 12:20 AM |
Is anyone here who isn’t supposed to be?
by Anonymous | reply 345 | September 12, 2018 12:31 AM |
me?
by Anonymous | reply 346 | September 12, 2018 1:02 AM |
No, you’re good. Just listen for the emergency horn.
by Anonymous | reply 347 | September 12, 2018 1:05 AM |
Emergency horn! 📢
Everycow to the barn! Now! No excuses! You too, Bertram, Melrose, Maxi, and Gracie! Then, hunker down! Hunker! You, too, Lafitte.
This is not a drill!
by Anonymous | reply 348 | September 13, 2018 10:24 PM |
Did someone turn off the gas before heading to the barn?
by Anonymous | reply 349 | September 13, 2018 11:40 PM |
You moo cows are late today. Hungover?
by Anonymous | reply 350 | September 17, 2018 6:34 PM |
Moooo everybody!
by Anonymous | reply 351 | September 17, 2018 7:01 PM |
SOS, will r347, r348 and r349 please mooo immediately. I accidentally blocked you and need to reverse that immediately! Every cow counts! I am distraught and embarassed and I need a proper secretary. Come back, cows.
Beulah, will you help?
by Anonymous | reply 352 | September 17, 2018 9:55 PM |
Thank you, Melrose! A heartfelt Mooo to you!
by Anonymous | reply 353 | September 17, 2018 10:37 PM |
Aghh! Misfire! I wanted to moo-on, but my hoof got snagged on the sofa throw. More Moos later, probably.
by Anonymous | reply 354 | September 17, 2018 10:42 PM |
Gertie dear, thanks. I often get tangled in my comforter and trip. Can you believe how many people and cows don't believe we use comforters? Ha. My laundress Zelda is pretty accomodating, though.
I still haven't heard from the accidental blocks. Hurry, cows! And pigs and owls and chickens and now apparently mice? The more the merrier, mooo.
by Anonymous | reply 355 | September 17, 2018 11:40 PM |
No Gertie, you aren't r348. I see you just fine.
by Anonymous | reply 356 | September 17, 2018 11:44 PM |
I'm very small, and probably delicious so, I stay away from Titus. But I would love to join your society.
by Anonymous | reply 357 | September 17, 2018 11:50 PM |
I promise on my shank, Melrose, that I am R348, Gertie. I had to disguise myself because some anticow people on another thread scared me. Who else would blow the big horn?
by Anonymous | reply 358 | September 17, 2018 11:51 PM |
Lafitte, are you related to or otherwise affiliated with the late Christmas Mouse?
by Anonymous | reply 359 | September 17, 2018 11:52 PM |
I just saw this on my pager.
Lafitte, I'll tell you what. You take this Monday Morning Moo, I'll take the next, and we'll keep switching off until we get used to each other. Once i know you my pounce mechanism will drop off and all will be well.
Deal? No, for real, i mean it.
by Anonymous | reply 360 | September 17, 2018 11:56 PM |
We can account for the sincerity of Titus, Lafitte. And a barn mouse is a delightful addition to our group. If Gertie approves, of course.
by Anonymous | reply 361 | September 18, 2018 12:00 AM |
I believe you, r358, but I just can't see any of those posts. Oh well, it's good to see you now. Who the heck are you, anyway?
by Anonymous | reply 362 | September 18, 2018 12:06 AM |
Oh cancel the above, Gertie! It's you. The nail polish remover makes me just a little off.
by Anonymous | reply 363 | September 18, 2018 12:09 AM |
I’m still Gertie, numskull! I had to clear my cookies because of the antimeat brigade. They hate us! Anybody made of meat, I understand!
by Anonymous | reply 364 | September 18, 2018 12:12 AM |
Oh, never mind, Melrose! Love, moo!
by Anonymous | reply 365 | September 18, 2018 12:13 AM |
I forgive you, Gertie, you beautiful, magnificent mooer.
by Anonymous | reply 366 | September 18, 2018 12:15 AM |
I am Lafitte!
I accept your offer, Titus, thank you, big bird. Though I am not related to the Christmas Mouse, I did help in the office of the Christmas Moose. Mostly catalogue entries and public relations, if that matters.
Merci!
by Anonymous | reply 367 | September 18, 2018 12:24 AM |
He sounds...spicy. Maybe with a sweet sour cream finish?
by Anonymous | reply 368 | September 18, 2018 1:11 AM |
The Christmas Moose has an office?
by Anonymous | reply 369 | September 18, 2018 1:31 AM |
Gramercy Park, r369., seventh floor. Barbara Feldon stops by for lunch at least once a week.
by Anonymous | reply 370 | September 18, 2018 1:41 AM |
But contact the Christmas Moose through the William Morris Agency of Beverly Hills, please, for professional services.
Speaking of which, he will be appearing in the Salem, MA, town square on Oct 1 as [italic] “The Ghost of Christmas Moose!” [/italic] Ooooo, scary! Boo! It opens on Broadway December 1. Staring Barbara Feldon. Don’t miss it!
by Anonymous | reply 371 | September 18, 2018 7:35 PM |
Oh, heck, I can’t wait 3 hours.
Here’s our Swedish exchange cow, Gracie. She’s sassy.
Can someone see if we can keep her? I think we can keep her.
by Anonymous | reply 372 | September 24, 2018 12:43 AM |
Keep her, R372? You make her seem like property.
by Anonymous | reply 373 | September 24, 2018 1:05 AM |
R373, whoever you are, no, no, no. Gracie is a Swedish exchange cow. She’s got to go back to Sweden, where ever that is, at the end of the month. So, “keep her” just means...oh heck, “nuts to you”, buster! I “moo” right in your face. Right in your face!
by Anonymous | reply 374 | September 24, 2018 1:23 AM |
I suppose we could all board a slowboat to Sweden for a visit, hmm?
Moo, by the way.
by Anonymous | reply 375 | September 24, 2018 12:43 PM |
Unbelievable, Gracie has been grabbed by ICE! She’s being held in a CAGE (that’s “bur”, btw) can you believe that! How cruel and unusual! It’s deflection, that’s what it is. Grab the headlines with Rob Rosenstein’s potential removal, and then the really big news happens.
I can’t type further, I’m so horrified.
Mu, btw.
by Anonymous | reply 376 | September 24, 2018 5:38 PM |
Are you heifers like great, big fat cows?
by Anonymous | reply 377 | September 24, 2018 8:02 PM |
[quote] heifer, defined: (in farming) a cow that has not borne a calf, or has borne only one calf
But we use the word informality here.
I’ll overlook your missing “Mu””.
by Anonymous | reply 378 | September 24, 2018 8:44 PM |
Moo! Good moorning cows, geldings, etc.! Shake the dust off you! Margaret, you need to lose a little weight. Why not do this thingy?
by Anonymous | reply 379 | October 1, 2018 12:40 PM |
Crank the sound up, boys and girl! She’s a keeper! Moo! She wants in!
by Anonymous | reply 380 | October 1, 2018 12:43 PM |
I just learned that the Maasai gave Charles the title “Keepsr of the cows”. That’s lovely, but where’s my exercise ball, Charles?
by Anonymous | reply 381 | October 1, 2018 12:47 PM |
It's Monday already? Mooo, then. I'm going back to bed. A bull with a chest cold is sad, indeed. I might not make it.
by Anonymous | reply 382 | October 1, 2018 12:49 PM |
Yes, I think it’s Monday. I don’t really know, I’m a cow! I don’t have a calandar, like a judge might. Where’s Titus? He knows everything.
by Anonymous | reply 383 | October 1, 2018 12:52 PM |
[quote] I just learned that the Maasai gave Charles the title “Keepsr of the cows”. That’s lovely, but where’s my exercise ball, Charles?
Is Charles an approved name?
by Anonymous | reply 385 | October 1, 2018 2:03 PM |
No, R385. Charlemagne is an approved name, but not Charles. Charles is ok as an informal diminutive, but I don’t want to see it on paper. I just don’t.
by Anonymous | reply 386 | October 1, 2018 2:44 PM |
Here is the original thread, at the link. It’s got the whole “slow boat” debacle. Also, the list of approved names (abridged), for reference.
I’m only on the Registation Desk until Friday. Then I’m off, I really am. I’ll be down at the gate, but don’t come looking for me! I mean it this time!
by Anonymous | reply 387 | October 1, 2018 2:52 PM |
Moo, everybody! Good morning! Cheer up! There’s a holiday coming!
by Anonymous | reply 388 | October 1, 2018 2:54 PM |
Our original thread is back? Really? Oh thank you, Gertie, thank you. I wonder how this happened...
by Anonymous | reply 389 | October 1, 2018 3:49 PM |
Ferdinand, I don’t think it’s “back”, so much as reachable via the URL.
by Anonymous | reply 390 | October 1, 2018 4:15 PM |
What is the “slow boat debacle”?
by Anonymous | reply 391 | October 1, 2018 5:10 PM |
R391, Check the link at R387. I think it’s around R300, in the other link, IIRC.
It’s customary to “moo” here, and post your name, if you’re a farm animal.
by Anonymous | reply 392 | October 1, 2018 10:58 PM |
Thanks, R392. To paraphrase the Elephant Man, “I am not a farm animal.”
by Anonymous | reply 393 | October 1, 2018 11:04 PM |
Mooooo! From the Holy Heifer, Schlomo to Mama,
by Anonymous | reply 394 | October 1, 2018 11:12 PM |
Must we think of a final solution to the red heifer problem?
by Anonymous | reply 395 | October 1, 2018 11:13 PM |
She has a nice snout, R394!
by Anonymous | reply 396 | October 2, 2018 5:01 AM |
Dear Signore e Signora,
In honor of our Italian Cow cousins, on the anniversary of their arrival in America, I bid you [italic] muuuuuu! [/italic] That’s not [italic] muumuu, [/italic] Phylis. I know you have that problem with lazy eye and all.
I got a post card from Gracie. After a brief stay in ICE detention and an unfortunate but temporary diversion to a “summer camp” in Chicago, she escaped into Canada and is now back in Sweden. She says “mu, keep in touch, bff, etc.” and we’re all invited there for Midsommardagen.
by Anonymous | reply 397 | October 8, 2018 1:18 PM |
You fucking moo cows have been lazy of late. What the fuck gives?
by Anonymous | reply 398 | October 11, 2018 2:41 AM |
You forgot to “moo”, Thanksgiving Otter.
by Anonymous | reply 399 | October 12, 2018 7:33 PM |
[quote] NATIONAL FARMER'S DAY: A day of honor is very much deserved to all of the hard-working farmers. National Farmer's Day is observed annually on October 12th as a day for them and to pay tribute to all farmers throughout American history.
I don’t know why this isn’t on a Monday, but whatever.
What are you doing today to honor our farmers? I’m going to eat a bale of hay.
by Anonymous | reply 400 | October 12, 2018 7:39 PM |
I’m going to leave the farming to them, R400.
by Anonymous | reply 401 | October 12, 2018 9:15 PM |
[quote] You forgot to “moo”, Thanksgiving Otter.
I'm not a cunting cow.
by Anonymous | reply 402 | October 13, 2018 1:27 AM |
Dear Mr. T. Otter,
I’ve made a raspberry-salmon pie, but it’s only for mooers. Are you sure you don’t moo? I’d hate to throw it out. Maybe Carl will eat it. He eats everything.
by Anonymous | reply 403 | October 13, 2018 1:51 AM |
R403, I don’t understand this business with the silent “p” and silent “l”.
by Anonymous | reply 404 | October 13, 2018 2:36 AM |
Bertrand at R403, does that pie have liquor in it? If it does, I'll moo until the cows come home to roost.
by Anonymous | reply 405 | October 13, 2018 9:57 AM |
No, TO, but for Thanksgiving, I'll use Raspberry liquore and herring, your favorite. Carl already ate the Salmon pie. Unauthorized, I might add.
by Anonymous | reply 406 | October 13, 2018 12:23 PM |
Gertie politely informs me that I mean liqueur.
by Anonymous | reply 407 | October 13, 2018 12:26 PM |
That Carl. What a pig.
by Anonymous | reply 408 | October 13, 2018 12:33 PM |
Well, Moo and good morning!
We should have a separate thread for cows and their pet dogs, but we don’t. Here is a bulldog we cloned from Mary-bell. Or was it Penelope? I have it right here, ...somewhere...let me get back to you on that.
GERTIE? Gertie! Get over here, I have a question.
I don’t work the registration desk that often, but Gertie will know.
by Anonymous | reply 409 | October 15, 2018 1:41 PM |
Wake up, cows!
BaGAWK-a-doodle-doo, let's get this Monday started!
by Anonymous | reply 410 | October 15, 2018 1:43 PM |
Moo, all! Dolly I can't believe you fell for it. You don't recognize Carl in a dog costume? Hahahaha.
by Anonymous | reply 411 | October 15, 2018 1:50 PM |
I demand we name him Advil and I won't hear another word about it, Gertie, not one more word.
by Anonymous | reply 412 | October 15, 2018 2:00 PM |
Oh, Gosh, I love you guys.
by Anonymous | reply 413 | October 15, 2018 2:13 PM |
[quote] A ball, a dog, and a cow.
walk into a bar...
by Anonymous | reply 415 | October 15, 2018 3:31 PM |
I can attest that Carl is here in Mall of America, doing pre-Christmas photo ops with the peoples.
That cow-dog you have pictured is the real thing. Moof.
by Anonymous | reply 416 | October 15, 2018 6:24 PM |
He simply doesn't age.
Never mind he's been sending the same Chritmas card now for thirteen years.
by Anonymous | reply 417 | October 15, 2018 6:49 PM |
He keeps his yawning nostrils so clean, and look at his grin. Even his eyes signal a confection of joy and mischief. .
He is someone I would want to be around at the end of days. Hail, Carl. Wherever you are.
by Anonymous | reply 418 | October 15, 2018 7:05 PM |
Here’s a site devoted to otters, and other critters.
by Anonymous | reply 419 | October 15, 2018 7:22 PM |
R419, are you a fan of the Thanksgiving Otter?
by Anonymous | reply 420 | October 15, 2018 7:29 PM |
Of course, R 420.
I also bake him pies, and leave them to cool on the window sill. He takes them when he thinks I’m not looking, the poor thing. I don’t think he’s ever learned to cook. And he’s never learned to moo, can you imagine? The poor dear.
by Anonymous | reply 421 | October 15, 2018 7:39 PM |
R421, I’m surprised he’s sober enough to eat much of anything. Don’t be too hard on him for not “mooing”. After, like me, is not of bovine kind. He also apparently has atrocious manners and language.
by Anonymous | reply 422 | October 15, 2018 7:44 PM |
I even heard him singing in the abbey.
by Anonymous | reply 423 | October 15, 2018 9:39 PM |
THE ABBEY DAMMIT. The ABBEY. You all, all you, for godssaske, is that not enough?
by Anonymous | reply 424 | October 15, 2018 10:06 PM |
I am giving up. Above, that was mine. Ll
by Anonymous | reply 425 | October 15, 2018 10:11 PM |
So many cows in harms way...too much wind
by Anonymous | reply 426 | October 15, 2018 10:28 PM |
The TO is probably over on the Dollface thread, swiping left.
by Anonymous | reply 427 | October 16, 2018 10:29 PM |
Where is *Moo*, oh excuse me, I Moo when I’m nervous. Where is everybody?
by Anonymous | reply 428 | October 22, 2018 7:55 PM |
Are you voting in next week’s *Moo* election? Carl says *Moo*, Carl says we should all be equal, but some should be more *Moo*, more equal than others. Sounds legit. Moo.
by Anonymous | reply 429 | October 23, 2018 12:03 AM |
What do cattle vote on? Whose tits get milked first? Last in the electrocution line,
by Anonymous | reply 430 | October 23, 2018 12:06 AM |
Oh sorry! Moo! Damn, I nearly missed it. Bigger moo now, big moo.
by Anonymous | reply 431 | October 23, 2018 12:10 AM |
R430, you have to read “Animal Farm” to get the reference. We’re very asphyxiated around here.
by Anonymous | reply 432 | October 23, 2018 3:47 AM |
Good day, Sir! Good day Madam! Moo to you and all the little calves in your little barns.
by Anonymous | reply 433 | October 29, 2018 1:20 PM |
IMPOSTER! Besides, it’s “Monday Morning Boos” this week, “Betrand.”
Boooo!
by Anonymous | reply 434 | October 29, 2018 2:18 PM |
Certified angus beef
by Anonymous | reply 435 | October 29, 2018 2:26 PM |
It's Monday already? Hm. Well, moo then. I'm going back to sleep.
by Anonymous | reply 436 | October 29, 2018 2:36 PM |
Dijon, where did you go on vacation?
by Anonymous | reply 437 | October 29, 2018 2:37 PM |
Monte Carlo, r437, then we're grazing our way down to Nice.
But please note the apostophe in my name. The apostrophe is silent.
Boo to Bertrand.
by Anonymous | reply 438 | October 29, 2018 2:44 PM |
Ohhh, I always wanted to smell Nice. It sounds nice.
by Anonymous | reply 439 | October 29, 2018 5:41 PM |
I’m headed into the lion’s den to search for a lost calf momentarily at 7:30 pm. Wish me well, cows!
by Anonymous | reply 440 | October 30, 2018 11:18 PM |
Bertrand, while you're at it, check for chicken bones, too. I haven't seen Phyllis in weeks.
by Anonymous | reply 441 | October 30, 2018 11:24 PM |
I’m back, with the prodigal calf. Prepare the fatted hay bale. A celebration is due, because he was lost, and now he is found!
I was all horns up, no nonsense. Only minor scrapes and some fur damage with which I think Roy can do something. It wasn’t as bad as I had thought it might be, though. Now I’m taking a 2000-lb. bull-sized Xanax and watching the stars go round and round for a while..
by Anonymous | reply 442 | October 31, 2018 1:56 AM |
Bertrand that is so manly and macho, give me a call when you wake up. You know, just to talk.
by Anonymous | reply 443 | October 31, 2018 11:25 PM |
You were all horns up, no nonsense you say. Well.
Monday Moos has a new stud in the barn, moo.
Are mesh horn coozies still fashionable?
by Anonymous | reply 444 | October 31, 2018 11:44 PM |
I'm not missing! I'm with Di'Jon, headed to Nice. He needs a navigator, you know how he tends to graze in circles.
Bertrand I am giving you my first moo ever, what bravery. I don't moo, as you know, so consider this the highest honor.
by Anonymous | reply 445 | October 31, 2018 11:59 PM |
Oh I'm sorry, my moo sounds like a baGAWK. First try, sorry.
by Anonymous | reply 446 | November 1, 2018 12:19 AM |
While Phyllis sleeps I'd just like to say that it is her lazy eye that makes us go 'round in circles, not me.
But let's not spoil her sense of purpose.
Boo, and a tossed rose to Bertrand.
by Anonymous | reply 447 | November 1, 2018 1:25 AM |
Such travelers here! Di’jon, is notorious BHB with you?
by Anonymous | reply 448 | November 1, 2018 1:40 AM |
Oh no you didn't, Penelope, you didn't!
Beauchamp Heironimus Bull of Newport can NEVER be reduced to three letters, ever. His pedigree demands you spell it out.
I really hope he doesn't see this. Oh I can just hear his outrage in my head. Well, there goes my vacation.
by Anonymous | reply 449 | November 1, 2018 1:48 AM |
Di'Jon, what type of condiments do you like on your meal deal?
by Anonymous | reply 450 | November 1, 2018 2:01 AM |
Di’Jon, I had no idea. Nobody tells me anything. Are the gals all laughing at me, down at the gate?
by Anonymous | reply 451 | November 1, 2018 2:43 AM |
Yes, Penelope, they are. They really are.
All of them.
by Anonymous | reply 452 | November 1, 2018 2:55 PM |
Di'Jon, I'm told Carl is en route to BHB (oops,) on your behalf. If anyone can broker peace it is Carl.
Besides, BHB (oops,) has been coddled too long. I say you should enjoy your graze to Nice, protect Phyllis from herself, and have a little fun for once. BHB (oops,) has never once participated in our MMM's, by the way.
Snob.
by Anonymous | reply 453 | November 1, 2018 3:10 PM |
R452, Oh, the bovineity! Oh, well, worse things have happened. Perspective is important.
by Anonymous | reply 454 | November 1, 2018 3:27 PM |
I just heard former President Obama say “Don’t moo, vote.” This is disturbing. I mean, what can I say about this, other than “Moo”?
by Anonymous | reply 455 | November 2, 2018 7:13 PM |
Hello?! Hello! Mooooooo? I’ll be down at the Gate, if anyone asks.
by Anonymous | reply 456 | November 5, 2018 9:05 PM |
Lazy moo cows.
by Anonymous | reply 457 | November 6, 2018 2:00 AM |
Gertie, moo.
You're at the wrong Gate, the gals and I have been just a little south. Mooos! Grab a cab and join us while there's still time.
We vote at dawn!
by Anonymous | reply 458 | November 6, 2018 2:02 AM |
Sorry, Gertie. We saved you a cucumber sandwich, though, on toast points! Really top of the line!
by Anonymous | reply 459 | November 6, 2018 2:10 AM |
South! South you say!? Who am I, Christopher Columbus? Do I look like Marco Polo to you? I don’t know from South! Oh, Moo!
Oh, I’m a little cranky as I haven been milked all day. I’m going back to the barn and hoping that tomorrow’s a better day.
Welcome back, Beauchamp Heironimus Bull of Newport. Was Nice nice? Show me your pictures tomorrow!
by Anonymous | reply 460 | November 6, 2018 2:16 AM |
Yoda lay hee moooo
by Anonymous | reply 461 | November 6, 2018 2:17 AM |
I hear you, Günther! Ooom!
by Anonymous | reply 462 | November 6, 2018 2:37 AM |
Took you cows long enough.
by Anonymous | reply 463 | November 6, 2018 2:40 AM |
I could use a compass for Christmas, R463.
by Anonymous | reply 464 | November 6, 2018 3:03 AM |
I'm early, I know, but I'm looking for my brother to send me Queen Helene asap. That damned Di'Jon didn't tell me there are no Walgreens in Nice, and ... Well... Look at me.
No don't look, I take it back!
Auntie Taco get your feathered butt to FedEx, I'll be back for Monday.
(So will Di'Jon, if I let him live.)
I am really better looking than this.
by Anonymous | reply 465 | November 10, 2018 7:14 PM |
Phyllis, you look like Phyllis Diller.
by Anonymous | reply 466 | November 10, 2018 7:16 PM |
Phyllis, this is Roy.
I want you in my salon first thing Monday morning, do you hear me? First thing. I won't even drink the night before.
Let me think... I will need an iron, some sandpaper...
by Anonymous | reply 467 | November 10, 2018 7:24 PM |
Sister dear, Carl is en route in Gunther's balloon with a big fat tube of Queen Helene moisturizer and a diet Pepsi to soothe you.
Sorry about that.
Heh.
Oops, no, sorry. No heh.
Heh.
by Anonymous | reply 468 | November 10, 2018 7:38 PM |
Is Taco an approved name?
by Anonymous | reply 469 | November 10, 2018 7:41 PM |
Only cow names need approval, Anonymous, that is certain.
What is also certain is, "Anonymous" is never approved for any species. Ever.
by Anonymous | reply 470 | November 10, 2018 7:49 PM |
Phyllis, OMG, what happened! I know you just explained, but OMG!
Roy’s working on a Monday, that’s how much of an emergency this is!
by Anonymous | reply 471 | November 10, 2018 11:36 PM |
This one’s kinda nice, Phyllis. Maybe Roy could do this one?
by Anonymous | reply 472 | November 11, 2018 12:24 AM |
I could do that! I could do that in one mimosa.
by Anonymous | reply 473 | November 11, 2018 1:29 AM |
Mi-moo-sa
by Anonymous | reply 474 | November 11, 2018 1:35 AM |
^Brilliance right there.
This is Günther, Carl and I are aloft, sailing the skies and on the way, Phyllis.
I am NOT letting him steer.
by Anonymous | reply 475 | November 11, 2018 2:00 AM |
There's something wrong with the punctuation at R475.
by Anonymous | reply 476 | November 11, 2018 3:26 AM |
Thank you, R476. I officially deputize you!
by Anonymous | reply 477 | November 11, 2018 3:32 AM |
What is the origination of Auntie Taco’s name? I haven't figured this one out.
by Anonymous | reply 478 | November 11, 2018 10:01 PM |
Mooo you beautiful bovines, moooo! It's Monday, finally.
I live for this, you know.
by Anonymous | reply 479 | November 12, 2018 12:04 PM |
Tell me about it, Bufferin.
by Anonymous | reply 480 | November 12, 2018 12:13 PM |
Moo, Moo, Moo!
Good Day, Sir! Good Day, Madam!
It’s a fine day here! Sunny, with clover forecast! Get you’re “Moos” in now, as Winter is coming! Start your week with a hearty “Moo”!
Thursday evening, we will resume our weekly film festival with projections on the East side of the big barn. Would someone with a compass bring Gertie with them? I’d hate for her to spend the season staring at a blank wall, like last year. This week, “The Corn is Green”, with Miss Bettie Davis. Complimentary popcorn will be served.
by Anonymous | reply 481 | November 12, 2018 1:18 PM |
Bettie? Oh, Cupcake, smh...
by Anonymous | reply 482 | November 12, 2018 1:25 PM |
I’m just a dairy cow! I didn’t go to university!
by Anonymous | reply 483 | November 12, 2018 1:28 PM |
[quote] “The Corn is Green”, with Miss Bettie Davis.
I thought that starred Carol Channing.
by Anonymous | reply 484 | November 12, 2018 1:33 PM |
It's fine, Cupcake, Melrose is in one of his mooods.
Anyway, Let's make it a double feature with my copy of Hush...Hush Sweet Cutlet, yes?
by Anonymous | reply 485 | November 12, 2018 1:34 PM |
I'm baaack, thank you Roy!!
The other hen is Genevieve, from Nice. Please use the correct pronunciation, Zhawn-vee-ev. If you don't she will peck you.
I love my blue bow.
by Anonymous | reply 486 | November 12, 2018 1:43 PM |
You are a handsome chicken, Phyllis. I’ve always said so.
Welcome, Genevieve! Begawk!
by Anonymous | reply 487 | November 12, 2018 1:50 PM |
Moo everyone, it' Günther. Just dropping in to deliver this goft to Gertie from Carl.
He hopes it will help.
And now I'm off, up up and away!
by Anonymous | reply 488 | November 12, 2018 2:24 PM |
Oh, now you’ve really confused Gertie, I know you mean well, Günther. I’ll be her guide cow. No harm done.
by Anonymous | reply 489 | November 12, 2018 4:23 PM |
Going by Gertie's silence, we'll consider ourselves approved!
Make way, Gals, we've arrived! Q
Oh, and good on you, Axel, whoever you are.
Join us in a happy dance.
by Anonymous | reply 490 | November 12, 2018 9:07 PM |
Not without me!
Big moo, bigger moo than you.
by Anonymous | reply 491 | November 12, 2018 9:16 PM |
Gangway, girls, get off of my runway!
by Anonymous | reply 492 | November 12, 2018 9:50 PM |
Advil & Bufferin, you don't need to get your names approved by Gertie. You've always had the power to name yourself. I didn’t tell you, because wouldn't have believed me. You had to learn it for yourself!
Not you, Anacin.
by Anonymous | reply 493 | November 12, 2018 10:15 PM |
We represent the Lullaby League,
The Lullaby League,
The Lullaby League.
And in the name of the Lullaby League,
We welcome you to Monday Morning Moos.
(Anacin, too? Yes, Anacin too.)
by Anonymous | reply 494 | November 12, 2018 10:49 PM |
Haha, R494, brilliant!
by Anonymous | reply 495 | November 12, 2018 11:07 PM |
Here’s Advil on his runway. Gangway, girls!
by Anonymous | reply 496 | November 19, 2018 2:33 PM |
It’s about time you moo cows posted on time.
by Anonymous | reply 497 | November 19, 2018 2:39 PM |
Good Morning, Cows. Everycow, rise and shine! Last one to the Gate is a rotten egg!
Today’s lesson is provided by Lottie, at the link. These names were all rejected by the Registration Desk and now she’s going to have to Winter in the pig pen with Carl. No offense, Carl, but you stink. Would someone please speak to Lottie!? We do have standards, not like Farmer Derrick down by the great Oak. It’s anarchy down there. Ty.
by Anonymous | reply 498 | November 19, 2018 2:42 PM |
This is what happens to cows that try to buck the Registration Desk.
by Anonymous | reply 499 | November 19, 2018 2:48 PM |
Moo everyone, moo.
Advil, you got the moves, buddy, but it's the Christmas Goose who captures my heart. What a snotty little bird-bitch. Has she been approved?
by Anonymous | reply 500 | November 19, 2018 3:02 PM |
R497, Christmas is coming. You might consider giving a watch to one of the cows. We haven’t has an official timekeeper since Sextus went missing on his vacation to Chicago.
by Anonymous | reply 501 | November 19, 2018 3:03 PM |
Di’Jon, would you tell the Goose that she’s not?
by Anonymous | reply 502 | November 19, 2018 3:04 PM |
[quote] We haven’t has an official timekeeper since Sextus went missing on his vacation to Chicago.
I’ll do that. Would it be set to Mooniversal time? Chicago was a great city to transport cattle to the East. What fate do you think befell Sextus?
by Anonymous | reply 503 | November 19, 2018 3:15 PM |
R497, What’s your name, Sweetie?
I was told Sextus was sent to a farm where he could make new friends and play all day with the other animals. But, what are we, chopped liver?
by Anonymous | reply 504 | November 19, 2018 4:00 PM |
Not in a million years, Cupcake / r502 But I do happen to know that Sextus is captive in a Nasa geodome, some kind of Cows-on-Mars simulation.
His friend Timex announced it a long time ago. But Timex wasn't approved and the message got bounced.
by Anonymous | reply 505 | November 19, 2018 4:37 PM |
[quote] We haven’t has an official timekeeper since Sextus went missing on his vacation to Chicago.
[quote] R497: I’ll do that. Would it be set to Mooniversal time?
Are you a rooster? I think you set it to rooster-time. Though, I congratulate you for coining a good term.
by Anonymous | reply 506 | November 19, 2018 4:58 PM |
Moo and Happy Thanksgiving from the Gals at the Gate Guild!
We’re all wearing our sashes today, and thankful that beef is not a traditional meal for the holiday! Moo!
by Anonymous | reply 507 | November 22, 2018 8:37 PM |
[quote] We’re all wearing our sashes today, and thankful that beef is not a traditional meal for the holiday! Moo!
We tried the veal for our meal today.
by Anonymous | reply 508 | November 23, 2018 2:58 AM |
Not if I see you first!
by Anonymous | reply 509 | November 23, 2018 3:05 AM |
Well, Gertie, I just saw your greeting now and want to say THANKS!
I'd have seen it earlier but the calves used me as the base for their annual holiday Cow Pyramid. We broke last years record at 15 calves and cows! I hope someone took a picture. Holding that pose for three and a half days takes some stamina.
Anyway, we're all back, ready to moo tomorrow.
Oh why not, moo for now too.
by Anonymous | reply 510 | November 25, 2018 6:00 PM |
Moo, I'm early, too. I'm full of mirthful moos, I just can't stop it, I get like this around the holidays with you Gals.
Even more, I'm clinically depressed. But here I am, mooing. Mooooooooooooo.
Can't wait to get Carl's annual greeting card. This is what, the thirteenth year with the same picture?
Could be fourteen.
by Anonymous | reply 511 | November 25, 2018 8:17 PM |
Tank, I take one part Zoloft to two parts Monday Moos.
by Anonymous | reply 512 | November 25, 2018 8:20 PM |
Gentlecows with depression, may I recommend Phyllis's bi-weekly yoga for barn cows?
Auntie Taco dj's, and blends some calming clover-chomping sounds with traditional stomp-chomp Irish claddagh.
At the end, we hug.
by Anonymous | reply 513 | November 25, 2018 8:39 PM |
We're depressive, too!
by Anonymous | reply 514 | November 25, 2018 9:00 PM |
Is there room here for me?
by Anonymous | reply 515 | November 25, 2018 9:03 PM |
Slide over a little, Julianna, thanks. Thanks much.
by Anonymous | reply 516 | November 25, 2018 9:06 PM |
I did miss the Cow Pyramid, Thor, I’m very upset about that; but was proud to be part of the Thanksgiving Day Parade of Cows. We need to coordinate better next year. What a fun day it was,
Sorry to hear about the depressives. It’s a little early for Barn Fever, but maybe knowing that you’ll be locked-up inside for the winter is enough for an onset. I hope everycow feels better tomorrow.
Moo, everycow!
by Anonymous | reply 517 | November 25, 2018 10:56 PM |
Good day, Sir! Good day, Madam! May your week be blessed with many “Moos”.
It got cold here, and Bertrand was having trouble with the ice!
by Anonymous | reply 518 | November 26, 2018 2:43 PM |
THE CATTLE ARE LOWING! THE CATTLE ARE LOWING!
They’re gonna wake the baby!
by Anonymous | reply 519 | November 26, 2018 2:48 PM |
Moo moo and another moo, to all! And now I must dash. Balthazar, you crack me up.
by Anonymous | reply 520 | November 26, 2018 3:48 PM |
So, who had to look up “Lowing”?
I did.
by Anonymous | reply 521 | November 26, 2018 9:40 PM |
I didn't.
by Anonymous | reply 522 | November 28, 2018 9:14 PM |
Well, fancy you, Melissa Gilber.
by Anonymous | reply 523 | November 28, 2018 10:27 PM |
Mooo!
by Anonymous | reply 524 | November 30, 2018 11:55 PM |
I moo in your face, imposter!
by Anonymous | reply 525 | December 1, 2018 12:00 AM |
What the-
Gertie! Are you sleepmooing again? Come in from this cold, there you go, moo.
Moos are on Monday, you're a bit early. DId Carl's weathervane send you into a spin again?
by Anonymous | reply 526 | December 1, 2018 12:02 AM |
Oh for Pete's sake (also a delightful barbra streisand/michael sarazin comedy,)
Let Gertie moo where she wants to moo. God knows she'll wander around anyway.
by Anonymous | reply 527 | December 1, 2018 12:13 AM |
R524, here you go...
Here are traditional names for cows. Please do not use new, hip names for your cows without checking with the registration desk. Thank you.
Bessie
Clarabelle
Betty Sue
Emma
Henrietta
Ella
Penelope
Nettie
Anna
Bella
Annabelle
Dorothy
Molly
Gertie
Annie
Cupcake
Melissa
Also, names of 19th century trollops are probably ok.
The Registration Desk has been overwhelmed with requests for manly bull names. These do not require pre-approval if you use them for your bull. Thank you.
Hydro
Homer
Earl
Ferdinand
Diesel
Horns
Armor
Sampson
Tank
Kristof
Angus
Midnight
Nitrous
Melrose
Nsaids are gaining acceptance because they are so cute!
by Anonymous | reply 528 | December 1, 2018 12:21 AM |
Thank you, I accept.
by Anonymous | reply 529 | December 2, 2018 9:25 PM |
WHET that barn mouse, LaFitte? He barely introduced himself when Boom, he was gone.
by Anonymous | reply 530 | December 2, 2018 9:29 PM |
I still want to hear from Gertie about the film fest a couple of Thursdays ago.
Did you manage to see it this time? It was Bette Davis in "The Corn is Green." At first I was annoyed by the sock puppets, I thought we were getting a real movie. But once it started I have to say, this was madly entertaining. I totally believed the corn. I laughed, I cried.
by Anonymous | reply 531 | December 2, 2018 9:42 PM |
[quote] It was Bette Davis in "The Corn is Green."
I like “The Beef is Pink”.
by Anonymous | reply 532 | December 2, 2018 9:47 PM |
I see we have a Russian Troll at R532 *sigh*. Thank you, Boris.
Yes, Nitrous, thank you for your comment. Phyllis walked me over as I lost my compass. I love the part about the corn. 🌽
For this Thursday, what would you think about “The Sea of Grass” with Hepburn and Tracey? Or maybe “How Green Was My Valley”, with Walter Pidgeon and Maureen O’Hara? That one’s a mystery, apparently.
by Anonymous | reply 533 | December 2, 2018 10:01 PM |
I’m not Russian, R533. I’m Argentinian.
by Anonymous | reply 534 | December 3, 2018 4:25 AM |
Well, you’re a Frau, R534, that’s for sure, Carlotta! I pass gas in your general direction. 🐄 💨
by Anonymous | reply 535 | December 3, 2018 4:23 PM |
Well, Good day Sir and Madam! There’s much to do, please excuse my tardiness!
We have a visitor at the link who needs a name. Can someone please help? I thought someone else posted this but can’t find it now.
A Merry Moo to one and all, if I don’t see you before the 25th.
by Anonymous | reply 536 | December 3, 2018 4:40 PM |
Look, it’s Bertrand! Back in his Vaudeville days! He’s not making those stories up, after all! This is why they sent Bertrand to a farm. He’s too tough for those hombres in Argentina! Take [italic] that, [/italic] Carlotta!
by Anonymous | reply 537 | December 3, 2018 4:46 PM |
Ok, I have to run to CVS now. You’re on your own. I’m getting chocolates for the milk man.
We’re going to need someone to manage the manger this year. Someone who isn’t Carl, I mean. I found a bottle of hooch in it last year and Mary almost lost her immaculata over it. Plus, they’re just not fond of Carl, for some reason. I think they need diversity training, but I’m just a cow, what do I know?
by Anonymous | reply 538 | December 3, 2018 4:54 PM |
I’m back. I got some hoove lotion for the Christmas Moose. Also, some Peanut Clusters. He loves those. He really needs a hoovicure but he’s too cheap to spring for it. Hmm, now I think I should have gotten him a gift certificate to one of those Vietnamese places I see in Downtown Boston? This is why I shouldn’t shop too early, because I never stop buying, if I get a good idea.
by Anonymous | reply 539 | December 3, 2018 6:10 PM |
R539, have you tried Piggly Wiggly?
Is there a Cowgly Moogly?
by Anonymous | reply 540 | December 3, 2018 6:18 PM |
Hi R540, no, I don’t think there are any Piggly Wigglys around here. Or Cowgly Mooglys either. And the Henny Penny is off limits for anti-Moose policies. I won’t shop there, not ever! Solidarity!
by Anonymous | reply 541 | December 3, 2018 6:56 PM |
How can anyone not be fond of Carl?? This is impossible.
by Anonymous | reply 542 | December 3, 2018 9:38 PM |
CARL’S NOT KOSHER!
There, I said it!
by Anonymous | reply 543 | December 3, 2018 9:41 PM |
[quote] ended with a magical pit of biblical goop
Does he not bleed if slaughtered?
by Anonymous | reply 544 | December 3, 2018 9:55 PM |
[quote] CARL’S NOT KOSHER!
Does he not bleed if slaughtered?
by Anonymous | reply 545 | December 3, 2018 9:56 PM |
R545, speaking of a bleeding prick, is Carl circumcised? Maybe if Carl was willing to meet them half-way? A little compromise, every now and then goes a long way.
by Anonymous | reply 546 | December 3, 2018 10:22 PM |
[quote] Maybe if Carl was willing to meet them half-way?
Is his prick big enough to meet them half way?
by Anonymous | reply 547 | December 3, 2018 10:25 PM |
Look, there are no pigs allowed in the manger. This comes from On High, direct from the front office.
Moo.
G/p
by Anonymous | reply 548 | December 4, 2018 1:15 AM |
We haven’t settled on a movie for tonight. Here is the synopsis for “The Cow and I”, (that already sounds very good!)
SYNOPSIS: In 1942, a French prisonner of war in Germany decide to escape to France using a cow hold by a lunge as a decoy. He cross all Germany in this way.
It might be in French. We will need more puppets. I don’t know what the synopsis means, but I still like it.
by Anonymous | reply 549 | December 6, 2018 6:58 PM |
Carlotta, come lets watch the movie together and let bygones be bygones.
by Anonymous | reply 550 | December 6, 2018 7:02 PM |
Have any of you moo cows seen Faces of Death?
by Anonymous | reply 551 | December 6, 2018 8:01 PM |
OMG, scary cow @R550, do you want to give the cows nightmares? Brrrrr.
by Anonymous | reply 552 | December 6, 2018 8:37 PM |
We’ll watch Home on the Range, in TECHNICOLOR! Hurry, starts in 15 minutes! Here’s the synopsis, there are lots of cows:
[italic] SYNOPSIS When an eviction notice shows up at the gates of the Patch of Heaven dairy farm, three cows take it upon themselves to prevent their home from being taken away. To do so, they’ll need to collect the ransom on Alameda Slim, a cattle rustler with a yodel that can’t be beaten … or ignored. [/italic]
by Anonymous | reply 553 | December 6, 2018 8:43 PM |
Places everyone! PLACES! Ok, in 3...2....1...
Moooooooooophopho!
Ok, that was good, but everybody stay where they are for take two...
by Anonymous | reply 554 | December 10, 2018 8:51 AM |
Hopho, the lost Marx brother.
by Anonymous | reply 555 | December 10, 2018 2:16 PM |
Ok, once more people! PLACES! Ok, 3...2...1...
Moooooooooooooo! Quack!
CUT! ALEXANDER! Would somebody please take Alexander for a walk?...yes, by the lake would be fine...thank you! Ok, quickly cows, places, places...and “quiet” on the sides, Oprah, thank you.
by Anonymous | reply 556 | December 10, 2018 2:20 PM |
Moooooooo!
by Anonymous | reply 557 | December 10, 2018 2:25 PM |
Thank you, R557, but who are you? I like giving credit where credit is due!
by Anonymous | reply 558 | December 10, 2018 2:34 PM |
Oh sorry, Gertie, that was all three of us: Melrose, Homer and Earl. Earl is concerned that he had a piece of clover stuck on his teeth for that picture, though.
by Anonymous | reply 559 | December 10, 2018 2:36 PM |
I'm concerned.
by Anonymous | reply 560 | December 10, 2018 2:38 PM |
Ok, places everyone, PLACES! Homer, get off of Earl... Thank you. Alright...3...2...1
Mooooooooooo!
That’s a wrap! Thank you! Please return the Christmas regalia to Gertie when you’re done horsing around.
by Anonymous | reply 561 | December 10, 2018 3:14 PM |
Shouldn’t it be “cowing” around?
by Anonymous | reply 562 | December 10, 2018 3:30 PM |
I don’t think there should be any funny business with the decorations at all! Yeah, ha ha ha, a garland around your udder is just hilarious. Grow up cows.
by Anonymous | reply 563 | December 10, 2018 6:17 PM |
SO! Earl is the “Concern Troll” after all! Oh, Earl, I thought you were reared better!
by Anonymous | reply 564 | December 10, 2018 9:08 PM |
I shall decorate my udders with a string of lights as i do every year, Constance, and you will love it. You will.
by Anonymous | reply 565 | December 10, 2018 9:57 PM |
What on Earth do you people do to get banned, or red tagged, or whatever? I can’t get banned for the life of me.
by Anonymous | reply 566 | December 10, 2018 11:34 PM |
Oops, wrong thread. Many Moos to you all!
by Anonymous | reply 567 | December 10, 2018 11:58 PM |
Was that really the Christmas Moose?? I've wanted to meet him for ages.
Dammit I'm too late. Somebody set a snare.
by Anonymous | reply 568 | December 11, 2018 1:06 AM |
[quote] Somebody set a snare.
Perhaps the Thanksgiving Otter will if he’s not inebriated.
Who am I kidding? Of course he’s inebriated.
by Anonymous | reply 569 | December 11, 2018 1:15 AM |
There was a rumor that the Thanksgiving Otter had a thing for Carl, but Carl had a thing for Günther, the yodeler. Then when Günther ballooned out of here, with Carl in the basket, it is said that the Thanksgiving Otter lost his mind to syphillis.
by Anonymous | reply 570 | December 11, 2018 1:34 AM |
Excuse us, no. We meant to say, "he lost his heart to Phyllis."
by Anonymous | reply 571 | December 11, 2018 1:36 AM |
This talk of inter species sexual relations just makes me sick to my stomach (singular).
by Anonymous | reply 572 | December 11, 2018 1:50 AM |
The hens have too much goddamn time on their hands. Someone give them something to do! Maybe some embroidery or something.
by Anonymous | reply 573 | December 11, 2018 1:54 AM |
Don’t they have eggs to hatch?
by Anonymous | reply 574 | December 11, 2018 1:58 AM |
Moo!
by Anonymous | reply 575 | December 13, 2018 2:52 PM |
Well well well, look what I found in my mail this morning, moooo!
Did anybody else get one yet?
by Anonymous | reply 576 | December 17, 2018 1:34 PM |
Good morning, Tank. Oh my Gosh! It’s Monday on the third week of Advent!
That’s a very fine card, I must say. How does it taste? I’ll always curious if the blue bits taste like wedding cake icing? I have not gotten one but thought if I keep going to the mailbox throughout the day, maybe I will.
Good morning cows and others! You, too, Alexander. Moooooo!
by Anonymous | reply 577 | December 17, 2018 2:22 PM |
Someone keeps snatching the hens eggs, R574. They haven’t quite noticed and no one has the heart to tell them.
by Anonymous | reply 578 | December 17, 2018 2:39 PM |
Federico’s prints are in. He’s the one I selected for my cards. You know how I’m fond of ginger snouts.
by Anonymous | reply 579 | December 17, 2018 2:48 PM |
[quote] Well well well, look what I found in my mail this morning, moooo! Did anybody else get one yet?
Pork! It’s whats for dinner!
Or should that be beef?
by Anonymous | reply 580 | December 17, 2018 2:54 PM |
Mr. R580, be kind, it’s Christmas! And no “moo”, either. Tsk, tsk.
by Anonymous | reply 581 | December 17, 2018 3:30 PM |
Who will be caroling O Holy Cow in the manger next week? Post your names on the sign-up sheet please.
As per tradition, Carl will play the baby Jesus, moo.
by Anonymous | reply 582 | December 17, 2018 4:04 PM |
Did any of you hear Alexander “quacking” during the Comey interview today? It was pretty funny, considering the context.
by Anonymous | reply 583 | December 18, 2018 3:31 AM |
Dear Sir, Dear Madam, I bid you a very special Monday Morning “Moo”! May your holiday be blessed with the company of many farm animals!
I am greatly humbled to have been asked by the Gals at the Gate Guild to offer its Christmas Greeting from all of us at the DataLounge Dairy Farm, Animal Hospice, and Critical Cow Care Facility to all of DataLoungeLand.
Merry Christmas!
Gertie, Recording Secretary, and...
Advil;
Alasandro;
Alexander the duck;
Alphonso;
Anacin;
Angus;
Anna;
Annabelle;
Annie;
Anvil;
Armor;
Auntie Taco, Phyllis’ twin brother;
Axel;
Balthazar;
Barnabus Bull;
Beauchamp Heronimus Bull of Newport;
Beauregard Von Holstein;
Bella;
Benedictus, Cow of the Vatican;
Bernadette;
Bertha;
Bertrand, calf rescuer;
Bessie;
Betty;
BettySue, Junior Librarian and Keeper of The Big Book of Cow Names (unabridged.);
Beulah;
Bossy;
Brunhilde;
Bufferin;
Carlotta, The Argentinian chick;
Charlemagne;
Christmas Goose;
Christmas Moose;
Clarabelle;
Constance;
Cupcake;
Daisy;
Diesel;
Di'Jon, Secretary to Beauchamp Hieronymous Bull of Newport;
Dolly;
Dorothy;
Dulcinea;
Earl;
Edelweiss;
Ella;
Elsie;
Emma;
Fabiola, The flute-playing Peruvian cow;
Fanny;
Federico, the photographer;
Ferdinand;
Fjällko “Gracie”, Swedish exchange cow;
Fromage;
General Montgomery Bull;
Gerhard;
Gertie;
Glinda, Farm Sprite;
Günther;
Hadassah;
Hans the Friesian horse;
Henrietta;
Homer;
Hormel;
Horns;
Hydro;
Koning, the Star Friesian;
Kristof;
LaDonna;
Lafitte, the barn mouse;
Larry, the farm snake;
Lash;
Lieutenant Colonel Carlisle;
Lilith;
Lisa;
Lore;
Lotte, the Bavarian;
Margaret;
Marla;
Marybelle;
Maxi, Gemini and a Bavarian;
Maybelline;
Melissa;
Melrose;
Midnight;
Mistletoe;
Molly;
Moriz;
Mortimer;
Mydoll, also known as Midol;
Nettie;
Nitrous;
Norma;
Otto, Günther‘s syphlic Grandpa;
Pedro;
Penelope;
Peppo;
Percy;
Phyllis the Chicken;
Pointsettia;
Rolf;
Rosa;
Roy, hairdresser;
Sally;
Sampson;
Schlomo;
Sextus, official timekeeper;
Simplicio the Alpaca;
Sophie;
Susie;
Tank;
Thanksgiving Otter;
The Evening Punctuationist;
The hens;
Thilde;
Thor, Author of The Tao of Cow;
Titus the barn owl;
Tommy the Bull;
Zelda, the laundress;
Muriel, Webmistress;
And especially, Carl!t
Merry Christmas!🎄
by Anonymous | reply 584 | December 24, 2018 1:09 AM |
My God, Gertie, what an undertaking! I am mooved, really. So many of us...
by Anonymous | reply 585 | December 24, 2018 1:46 AM |
R584, you forgot someone.
by Anonymous | reply 586 | December 24, 2018 2:02 AM |
Poor Excedrin.
by Anonymous | reply 587 | December 24, 2018 2:05 AM |
Oh, R586, I was afraid if that! Do you mean Excedrin? Sorry, toots! I’ll make sure you’re in the next edition!
by Anonymous | reply 588 | December 24, 2018 2:06 AM |
I didn’t see Randolf, the Evening Punctuationist’s loyal assistant, on the list.
by Anonymous | reply 589 | December 24, 2018 2:31 AM |
I didn’t see Randolf commenting this year! Should I put him on the list?
by Anonymous | reply 590 | December 24, 2018 2:35 AM |
What about us hens???
by Anonymous | reply 591 | December 24, 2018 3:03 AM |
Gertie dear, you did an excellent job, no doubt about it. How did you ever remember practically everybody, even me? I hardly ever moo.
by Anonymous | reply 592 | December 24, 2018 3:06 AM |
Cool your clucking, hens, you are indeed on the list! Look towards the bottom. And yes, Randolf cannot be forgotten, moo.
by Anonymous | reply 593 | December 24, 2018 3:20 AM |
This is why we have the [italic] Big Book of Cow Names (unabridged)! [/italic] it comes in handy for more than just propping-up the milking machine, you know! Besides, Santa needs help these days. His eyesight isn't what it used to be.
I’ll be down at the Gate, ringing my jingle bells.
by Anonymous | reply 594 | December 24, 2018 12:49 PM |
Dear Sir, Dear Madam,
The pleasure of your “Moo” is requested at Part Trois, at the link. Non-bovines are especially invited.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from deep down in my oversized heart!
by Anonymous | reply 595 | December 24, 2018 1:10 PM |
This thread isn’t even finished yet,and you moo cows are riding herd on the new one.
by Anonymous | reply 596 | December 24, 2018 3:51 PM |
Last one out, shut off the lights please.
Thanks, everybody!
by Anonymous | reply 597 | December 24, 2018 3:55 PM |
Oh, R598! And on Christmas Eve, too!
by Anonymous | reply 599 | December 24, 2018 7:45 PM |
Hello, Christmas Moose! I love you.
by Anonymous | reply 600 | December 24, 2018 7:51 PM |
Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.
Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!