Let's Go on a Date With Michael Avenatti!

Oh yeah, Michael?

I'll tongue you so good, you'll levitate off the bed, grip the ceiling like Spider-Man, and beg for more or mercy!

Make that "more AND mercy!"

I wonder if Michael has a nonna who still makes her Sunday gravy for him as takes down the trump goons?

BASTA!

"You've met Lin-Manuel?" he said. "Oh, look, there's Rachel and her partner Susan. And I want to introduce you to Jill Wine-Banks," Michael said.

Putting his arm around my waist and pulling me in close, he whispered, "Then let's get out of here. I want to stick my tongue so far down your throat you feel it in your ass."

Dear Lord in Heaven!

Hard hottie Avenhottie does NOT eat fatty carbs, even his mama's.

I heard a healthy application of SPF (Semitransparent Penile Fluid) 6900 to the scalp promotes hair growth, Michael!

He's a bottom...longs to be dominated.

I first noticed him in an elevator; actually is was his cologne that initially caught my attention . . .

And then he looked at me and said those words which aroused me more than any spoken words I had ever heard before: “When I’m done, Trump will rot in jail.”

Hmmm....tough choice here! Hottie Avenatti, or r11?!

R11 . . . and the woman that he loves shall bear my child. So it shall be written, so it shall be done.

An eldersister once ate a big meal of carbonara before a generou$ paramour showed up for an assignation. It did not go well and she didn't receive a tip!

He lowered his hairless pink coin slot, which smelled of Acqua di Parma and self-confidence, onto my impatient tongue while exclaiming, "Come on, this ass ain't gonna eat itself!"

👎👎👎👎👎

Is he into some kinky shit, or just vanilla fucking?

OP, really a date with the creepy porn lawyer. That’s your fantasy.? You should go out more often. I worry about you.

R15, I like the way you think.

He pushed inside and then said to me " Feel that boy? I'm going to show you how real men fuck."

"You've been working too hard," Michael purred. "I thought we could spend the weekend relaxing in Paris." He produced two first-class tickets from the breast pocket of his immaculate Brioni suit.

"And when we get there," he added, "I'm going to suck you and edge you until you shoot down my throat like a fire hose."

"I can pencil you in for about 15 minutes between Rachel and Don Lemon. But trust me, 15 minutes with me is enough to leave you walking funny for a good week afterward."

[quote]"Most people think carbonara has cream. It doesn't. Just pancetta and eggs.”

#pasta

Who is that in r20? I'd pound his puttanesca.

[quote]"Most people think carbonara has cream. It doesn't. Just pancetta and eggs.”

And Reggiano and Pecorino.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

alla dongue?

I'M the man, you're the pussy- capice? Now turn that ass up for this monster. Head down, I said!

Michael Avenatti is from St Louis and went to a perfectly textbook suburban high school, Parkway Central. He's not some goomba.

"perfectly textbook"

hee-hee

Will the pasta be drained? That could be a dealbreaker.

"Lets go. I feel like taking a ride around the city. This media shit is killing me. But first, take those pants off so that I can suck and fuck the life out of you."

....

"I'll going to need a list of the names of every guy who ever brushed up against you or grabbed your ass in a gay bar, so we can sue the asses off the ones who have money."

[quote] Let's Go on a Date With Michael Avenatti!

Not a chance. After you each had eaten the most expensive items on the menu he'd excuse himself to go to the toilet and never return, leaving you stuck with the check.

Love the juxtapositions in OP, R5, R21 et al ... youre a great writer ....

And then he says, “Sorry, I gotta take this call.”

It was all fine until his credit card was declined at the restaurant and I was stuck with the bill.

R35 & R38 sound more like your President, Donald Trump--check stiffer extraordinaire.

"Let's Go on a Date With Michael Avenatti!"

Michael, with his impeccably tailored suits and impeccable grooming, appears to be deliciously scented, every day. I'd love to stand next to him in an elevator just to inhale.

Avenatti by now is tainted merchandise. He's been used by so many he has been kicked to the curb,