Insignificant Golden Girls lines that you remember for some reason

"How the hell should I know? and why the hell should I care?"

Dorothy, not long after being kicked out of the Elvis fan club.

"That's impossible. Big Daddy was a Republican."

Blanche to Nanny Viola

“Half the makeup, twice the underwear.”

I know a John from Kenosha.

We know everything about them. Their IQ, their eye color.

Sophia: "What do you think this is, the 7-Eleven? I'm not open all night."

CONDOMS, Rose! CONDOMS! CONDOMS! CONDOMS!

"I could get herpes listening to this story."

Dorothy to Blanche

Get real grandma!

Some of these are hardly "insignificant."

Yeah, what about MY bags?

Sticks and stones can break your bones R10, but cement pays homage to tradition.

Lesbian. Not a Lebanese, Blanche like scat obsessed Danny Thomas who started out peeping in women's bathrooms like so many serial killers.

"Rose, thanks for the lovely prayer. Now shut up and get into bed."

We're collecting lingerie for needy, sexy people.

"The man had as more powder on his face than Ann Miller" - Sophia talking about the deceased Fidel Santiago.

... has more powder ...

“I am not incompetent. Once, when I laughed too hard, I had a little accident that’s all.”

—Sophia

We’re never going to beat you people, are we?

- Dorothy

Rose: I'll get the cheesecake.

Blanche: I'll get the whipped cream

Dorothy: I'll get the chocolate syrup

Sophia: I'll get the Polaroid, this is a time to remember!

Dorothy: Ma! You don't have a Polaroid.

Blanche: I'll get mine! It's under my bed. I have to go in there to get the whip cream anyway..

Me: I get the joke but who wants whipped cream that hasn't been refrigerated? The chocolate syrup in the bedroom would have made more sense.

Blanche: "You know what I hate doing most after a party?"

Rose: "Looking for your underwear in the pile?"

Silly putty, Rose!

To Connecticut, Rose!

Besides the Hunka-Hunka Burning Love Fan Club scene, I think my second favorite is where Sophia's sister, Angela (Nancy Walker), visits and makes dinner.

Angela, to Blanche: "You didn't finish. If you were really hungry you'd have taken some of the bread and wiped up the rest of the sauce. You can afford it." (or something to that effect)

Blanche: "Oh Angela, you may not have noticed but I've put on a few pounds."

Angela: "What am I, BLIND? I meant the bread. You can afford it, it's only 89 cents a loaf."

"Here? So close to Cuba?" - Blanche

When Rebecca announces she plans on having her fatherless baby in Miami.

Sophia: "Blanche, try to remember, gravy isn't a beverage. "

Do you always wear a tiara to clean the toilet?

Shrimp?

"It shucks the corn!"

CREAMED WHAT WAS LEFT ON HIS PANTS?

Laszlo: I'm sorry. I thought you knew.

Girls, do you realize what just happened here?

Back in St Olaf...

The Artist is one of my fave episodes since both the A and B stories are good. I like this exchange:

◾Blanche: Dorothy, you're a mess! ◾Dorothy: I just spilled orange juice on myself. ◾Blanche: Oh, really? I didn't notice that

I feel like I'm in the middle of some awful dream, yet I know it can't be a dream because there are no boy dancers.

I look like the mother of a Solid Gold dancer.

A little of that goes a long ways.

OP, this thread is impossible. The scripts were so well-written that there were no insignificant lines.

I said coffee!

Look what happened to you watch.

"LIke it's something new to you, like you have no idea what it tastes like. Like you don't shovel it in your mouth by the pound every chance you get!"

Blanche, You have a large tuckus. That better mean busom.

Well pardon me while I play the grand piano.

So good we named it!

Blanche Devareaux never shares a man!

Or a pizza.

Um, a lot of these are punchlines, not insignificant ones.

What did you expect, Blanche? Last weekend you ate so many pudding pops, you could've built the Eiffel Tower from the sticks!

"It's either that or a big rent increassssssse."

While the three are in jail, and Rose is telling her bitter butter story about losing Butter Queen: Blanche: "Oh, how I loved that move. I always wanted to be Miss Olivia de Havilland myself." Dorothy: "Blanche, are you even listening to this story?" Blanche: "Bits and Pieces."

"Oh my God, I'm hallucinating! I see little balls of sunshine in a baggie!"

The Liberace Marquis at Caeser's Palace, Rose.

A Yankee? A YANKEE?!?!?! And to think they made a movie about that deadbeat Gandhi, when here is a story that hasn't been told.

You're lying, Blanche. (about the towel)

Maybe she's a disabled welder with a breathing problem.

Maybe it's a Jehova's Witness with a caffeine problem?

"What did she model, car covers?"

My guess would be ham and potatoes.

"Waitresses!"

It is with Carl!

Oh, then why was your face pressed against the crack?

It’s Everyman s story.

You're letting a man with taste like that remodel our garage?!?!

Dorothy: And who am I, Mamie Eisenhower?

You've embarrassed me, your mother, and our friends...not to mention that poor flat-chested girl.

Miss Angie Dickinson

It was a humdinger Blanche! We closed the joint!!

Please, you lift up your skirt and someone might mistake your thigh for the on-ramp to the freeway.

It's the hangout for Miami's literary intelligencia

That'll be the schmaltz police

It took a computer to come up with THIS?

Sidney Sheldon tells shorter stories.

His name is O'Brien. 10 to 1 she met him in a gin mill.

On the other hand I hear he just got cable!

"It just shucks it off."

--follow up to R29

Not everything, Jeremy.

"We'll just change this to 'Ms. Zbornak eats shiitake mushrooms."

Shut up!

You shut up!!

Why don't you both shut up?

^^^ You first, Mr. Game Show host!

Charles Schultz

I want you out of this house!

Oh, get out of here ya old fool!

Ma.

Pussycat.

Except your brother Phil...

Blanche: I could have been in the Olympics Dorothy: The Luge is the only sport you do on your back

Rose talking about "Genuurgenfluurgen" and Sophia pipes in saying "I can't even reach mine!"

Who are you to judge me?!

No, I don't believe he put his big masculine arms around your alleged tiny little waist.

R74 That was going to mine! I hate when I think of something for a thread like this, and read all the way through only to find it already posted near the end.

Let someone else feel it!

"You're a bigger disappointment to hit the streets since the AMC Pacer!"

The biggest, r89.

No, I'm not nervous...wheelchair!

...and she hopes to sail around the world before she turns 40. Oh, that must be a typo.

A good-looking woman like that sleeps alone?!?! I'm shocked.

Mamie, Rose. Not Mammy Eisenhower.

You’ve upset Kim Fung-Toi.

I think she’s a gerkanenaken. The precise moment that dog poo turns white...

You know what I'm fed up with?...that phony Southern accent of yours. What is this...Designing Women?

Make it out to "Hair by Robért."

Blanche and Rose get out, Dorothy it's YOU I want!!!!!

I think only the Nixon kids get to call her that

Some big pots belong on the back burner.

I'm the guy that shaves everybody

Blanche, you've seen naked men before. What is the big d....WHOA!!!!

Blanche: Well there must be homosexuals who date women.

Sophia: Yeah. They’re called lesbians.

[bold]PREGNANT![/bold]

Well I do declare. My pussy smells like shit!

I'm surprised you were able to walk in October!

Who wants some cheesecake?

R101: Don't you have a cousin you should be dating?

"Can Ella shatter glass?"

SHAKE IT OFF, WIMP!!!

Dot, Dot, what a girl I got.

How ya feeling, ma? By the way, you're wearing your knee brace on your neck.

No Rose, Minneapolis, France!

Oh good...I already checked off that box on the form.

Now it's time to find out who's naughty or nice!

"Not to mention Mrs. Kleckner"

It's not bad for store bought!

It's a little early to go shopping, isn't it, Renee?

Shady Pines Ma Shady Pines.

Hi George, bye George, hi George, bye George, hi George, bye George, hi George, bye George.

I promise I'll say Hail Marys until Madonna has a hit movie.

There are no insignificant Golden Girls lines.

Hypersexual bitch.

Hi Auntie Dorothy! Hi Auntie Blance!

Hard times...

Mysterious drifter...

Butter churn...

Thursday night??!? No way, not Thursday.

Oh that's right I forgot. The Cosby Show.

Dorothy: I have a date.

Blanche: With a man?

(Dorothy: No, Blanche, with a Venus Fly Tarp.)

So is interuterine. It does not belong in a song.

That's what the crow said!

Book it under Lipschitz and buzz the head shrinker. We've got an emergency here!

Sophia: "Are you kidding? In Sicily, three in a bed is a luxury. I shared a bed with four brothers. I was engaged to one for a very short time."

Those of you who wear underwear.

Meet you later at Benihana?

"My folks were poor...I just had one of those reversible cotillion/hanging dresses."

LIke what, Blanche? The PLO?

Get your bunny slippers out of my butt.

"If that isn't my heating pad under there, I'd like to know what other electrical appliance is under that blanket!"

"Maryann Mobley comes to mind...I mean she gets to sleep with Gary Collins every night! EVERY NIGHT!"

"IT'S A DOG EAT DOG WORLD AND I'M NOT WEARIN' ANY UNDERWEAR!"

Was was po...

Different on outside. Same on inside.

Ha ha R141. "MA! MA! I'M QUEEN OF THE PROM!!!!" - "I'm proud of you, Cindy Lou"

Edie McClurg to Dorothy as Sophia's nurse: "Oh, you're pussy-cat too?" Dorothy: "NO! I am pussy-cat ONE! YOU are pussy-cat TWO!!"

I was in Morocco working on a novel, not to mention a dashing young Moroccan...

You shot my vase!!!!

I rather you shot Lester!!!

Gutterball!!! WE won! YOU lost and WE WON!!!

Rose... get professional help.

Awww, your first kiss was in the rain.

No, it was in the shower.

Here’s to terrific sex... and the dumb blonde who’s not gonna get any!

Blanche: Well, pardon me, Dorothy, but we can't all come from places as socially acceptable as Brooklyn.

In the pilot, Dorothy said she was from Queens. What was the point of changing that to Brooklyn?

I forgive you.

Oh, go on back to your Le Sueur Peas.

You look skeptical, Hunter.

OHMYGODI’MCRAZYNUTSABOUTTHISGUY!!!!!!!

Phil RizZUTO, Rose!

Is THIS your baby?

Nice way to talk to your mother, Pussycat.

Well, I have been told that I possess a striking resemblance to Miss Cheryl Ladd. Although my bosoms are perkier.

I'm not like you. You live with family and friends, holidays and warmth. I hear the silence.

Please know that I understand the following are not insignificant lines, but they’ve managed to work themselves into my regular rotation:

We’re goin’ down to Wolfie’s to pick up guys.

Not as much as you hurt my oonie.

Well, Angelo, speaking in terms of the gingerbread alone...

I swear, Rose, sometimes it’s like pullin’ teeth just to get a little compliment out of you.

Blanche: You shot my vase! Sophia: Thank God, I hated that thing.

Same thing I do everyday, I bought a nectarine!

R152, the thing that made that line so hilarious to me was, as always, Rue’s delivery of the word ‘Brooklyn.’ Much like her ‘lesbian’ delivery always floors me no matter how many times I see it.

They dropped shade ever so slyly every now and then:

"Sure, I know what a lesbian is - isn't Danny Thomas one?" Blanche " With a son who dresses in drag, and a knocked up teenage daughter, I was the Rose Kennedy of Brooklyn" Sophia Rose Nylund: The president's married to Nancy Davis now.

Sophia: From "All About Eve"?

Rose Nylund: That was Bette Davis.

Sophia: The one who beat her children with wire hangers?

Rose Nylund: That was Joan Crawford.

Sophia: The fat cop from "Highway Patrol"?

Rose Nylund: That was Broderick Crawford.

Sophia: The president was married to Broderick Crawford?

Habit.

That’s...pretty jumpy.

South Side?

I am Miss Angie Dickinson

Uncle Angelo: "Sometimes it's harder to close a door than to open a window."

Dorothy:" That's very wise."

Angelo, after she leaves: "I was talking about the apartment, but I'll take wise."

"Do you know why that is, Blanche? Because you're over 50."

You're only gonna sit in an inch of water?

174 posts and this hasn't made it yet?!?!?

"In what Blanche, dog years?"

My Italian must be rusty. I could have sworn she said you were a streetwalker.

"Who was that nut?" "I don't know, Mr. Terrific usually comes in alone."

Dorothy................Dorothy.........................Dorothy.......................Dothy

And I'll never get perky bosoms!

Oh DAMN I wish I didn't have to go to work today!

And sometimes she can be a real bitch.

It's a bad day for mothers.

Dorosee

Mr. Schechtner pee'd

There's nothing wrong with being career-oriented!

I once met a Mr. Terrific. Turns out there was also a Mrs. Terrific.

"Dorothy, the man sent you meat!"

"Hello, I'm Dr. Jonathon Newman." "Are you absolutely sure?"

I'm surprised she wasn't killed BY Charles.

He bought me flowers! From a store!

You’re only going to sit in an inch of water?

I ended up ducking a Mr. Vase.

The man in your bed is dead.

"I look like the mother of a Solid Gold dancer."

At the end of the episode where fat Becky dates the asshole from Murphy Brown, Becky leaves and Dorothy, Rose and Blanche all sigh and Sophia says something like "I thought we agreed we wouldn't talk about the kids." WTF was that about? I didn't find the line funny.

For r175 and r190 and others, please run to the nearest dictionary and look up the meaning of "insignificant." You dumb bitches posted classic lines.

If it's not true, then my name isn't Sophia P'Hawkins.

I know Blanche, but I don't know Mike Tyson well enough to borrow his jewelry.

R192 why single them out? Most of these are in fact not "insignificant."

I admire your chest.

Dorothy, to Jake.

Maybe he'll be voted out next election.

Next thing you know they'll be having black ballplayers in the NBA.

"Shrimp!"

I should caution you that they were meant for dainty ears.

So, do you bowl?

Excuse me, Krystle Carrington

Like what Blanche? The PLO?

My baby wasn't feeling well so we thought we'd have you over for a drank.

You'll have to excuse me if I don't have the rolling gait of a nymphomaniac.

"George, promise me you'll never die."

Yeah, how many stamps did she use? Flo Pollizano's been dead for two years.

What were you doing in ladies petite?

FIDDLE. DEE. DEE???

Blanche convinces Dorothy to go out with the twin brother of her date and promises that they are completely identical in every way and Dorothy: "you can thank me later" (with a smirk) for setting it all up.

Sophia: Excuse me, Rose, but I haven’t had sex in fifteen and its starting to get on my nerves.

At least r206 got it right with "insignificant."

Fiddle dee dee lick my pussy!

I think there's a connection between your brain and wallpaper paste.

Don't you ever get nosebleed from taking the highroad all the time?

Besides, what does Spock know about raising babies? On Vulcan, all the babies are born in pods.

Rose, I know this is a long shot, but, did you take much acid during the '60s?

Four grown women decide to live with a pig, and HE'S the one with the mental problem?

Priest: She didn't know I was a priest.

Blanche: What did she think you were just a boring dresser?

Dorothy: Blanche the man's a priest!

Blanche: The man's a man!

I'm so sorry Helltown was canceled.

Bacon, lettuce, POTATO!

The woman has slut embroidered on her underwear!

Blanche: What do you wear to a sperm bank?

haha - expanding on R223 she also said "For years and years sperm was free - it was everywhere!"

Sophia: Is it true what they say about black men in bed?

Blanche, Everlast is a brandname, not a nickname.

He must've been impressed with your spare tire.

Oh, please, you’re such a liar.

Dorothy said you'd like something crotchless.

"Who the hell says 'thrice' anymore?"

You said you'd like to mold his clay or buff his marble anytime.

She felt it was her personal responsibility to elect Adlai Stevenson president.

By the way, did you girls know that the size of a man's ears is directly proportionate to the size of his other... bodily organs?

...And I can't believe Alan Thicke has a his series, but that doesn't mean it's not so.

Not part of the show, people! Not part of the show!

You know, back in Minnesota I was known as Sherlock Holmes of St Olaf.

South side?

It's only for dinner, and Charles would want you to eat.

"So, we have a who and a how and a HAH!"

Rain check! Rain check!

Goodson-Todman brought it to America, changed a couple of the rules, and called it Tattletales.

Cleaning up the dirty dishes.

Adults play it.

Who's the macadamia?

Is that "out on the lanai" podcast worth listening to? Anyone?

Hey Moose?

This really is goodbye.

Blanche, the parking lot doesn't count.

All the girls in Sophia's bed, trying to keep warm on one of Miami's infamous cold nights.

Blanche: Did you hear that?

Sophia: Yeah, and so long as I'm in my own bed I'll do what I want.

I know, Blanche. I'm been counting the days on my big ships of the Navy calendar.

"Thank you for being a friend"

Learn a trade.

Big floppy pancreas r233

No, I'm sing a negro spiritual.

eat dirt and die, trash!

“I never thought I’d grow a hair there”.

Those Donaldson boys won't take "no" for an answer.

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times. It was Sicily, 1922.

It's really something to see that "The Golden Girls" remains so popular after all this time. It was a smash hit thirty years ago while it aired on NBC - part of a great Saturday night line-up. Facts of life, 227, GG, Amen. I was just a kid.

Not as much as you hurt my uni.

You say your Italian's rusty, but you know the word for "spearhead"?

Here? So close to Cuba?

So I went out & bought a gun!!!

I manage to live 80, 81 years. I survive a bout of pneumonia, two surgeries, and a stroke. One night I'll belch and stable Mabel here will blow my head off.

Wasn’t Virginia the slut?

No ma’am, that was me.

You look like the night hostess at Denny's.

He knows your shoe size and he doesn't care.

Rose please let me have a little recovery time before you start a St. Olaf story.

Last night I forgot my cat's been dead for 20 years. Which makes me wonder...who's using the kitty litter?

Dorothy, you always give me the best advice about men. Who says wisdom comes from experience?

"It's really something to see that "The Golden Girls" remains so popular after all this time."

Only here on the DL, where the average age of the thread starters and posters is 106.

My mistake. I thought since you looked like Yoda you were also wise.

Buy genuine Q-tips. If I'm gonna put a stick in my ear I'd like a little cotton at the end.

A cappuccino machine.

You wrinkled old Sicilian prune!

And the world heaves a collective sigh of relief.

Blanche: I lost Anderbeau and her beau!

Rose: I don't know who Anderbeau Bobo is!!

I cannot flounce around a dance floor like some cheap trashy slut in heat. Lord knows, I've tried.

[italic]Vixen: Story of a Woman[/italic] is nothing but a vulgar collection of perverse sexual acts that are sheer and utter FILTH!

I'll fix us up a mess-a-somethin'!

INSIGNIFICANT:

The moistest.

A mouthful of wine.

What's wrong with wantin' ta be liked?

^^^^^ Well, if we limited the quotes to those only being insignificant, then there'd be no point to the thread. It'd be "insignificant." Who wants to read THAT shit?

"I just hate phonecalls in the middle of the night, now I'll never get back to sleep. I'm jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo..!" *Flounces off dramatically..*

R274, the correct line is "his cappacino maker." That episode was on just last night. Try and and get it right next time.

And R276 it's "and the world TAKES a collective sigh of relief."

Your eyes are as good as rolled back.

Big deal, I took a whole place setting.

SHRIMP?!

My cupcakes are moist and delicious. Men love my cupcakes.

Did you have a problem with my book, DEAR?

What does she do -- play the piano?

And I'm sure your wife, MRS. CLAYTON, would enjoy it too!

Blanche: I was born to heal.

Dorothy: Heel Blanche heel!

But he was willing to do her lobotomy.

“PAM DAWBER!”

It would be better with Shelley Hack!

This is mud on our faces! We’re not really black.

I don't know why he didn't let her in the show. She was funny as hell at home.

Almost every single line of the Golden Girls was memorable... the writing was superb on that show

"He does undercover work!"

Sophia: "And I bet he does it damn well too!"

I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, drop dead!

It's Saturday night. I'm all dressed up. There's a car honking for me. Think, Dorothy....remember something called, A DATE!

Who wants to see a Cuban Macbeth??

Sometimes I watch her go from the kitchen. It makes it easier to bay at the moon.

And I'm Melanie Griffith.

Hi Melanie! You’re special!

Clayton's a top? Sure, and Michael Jackson was born with that cleft in his chin.

The pearls draw attention to the nonexistent bosom.

True, but the chain leads the eye down to that huge spare tire jutting out over those square, manly hips.

But hath not a Cuban eyes? Hath not a Cuban hands? Organs? Dimensions? Senses? Affections? Passions?

Dorothy: "Rose, I didn't know you studied Latin?"

Rose: "Yes, I did. Number one in my class...Orothy-day!"

I don't think I could drink enough sake...

He said I was much too attractive to be related to HER.

Have we been drinking?

Just a minute. I'm contouring my face. I follow Miss Christie Brinkley as a guide because we have exactly the same bone structure.

Hey, just because you apply your makeup with a butter knife, doesn't make you Tammy Fae Bakker.

Where do you keep your TIPS?

We've seen her room. Tell her she won't be getting her cleaning deposit back.

Look at that. Man's best friend running after man's best friend.

Blanche:

Girls, we can't fire her now. She's making me an aphrodisiac.

Dorothy:

Use vodka and black underwear like everyone else!

I'm sorry, I didn't realize that slipping my tongue to half the men in Dade County was the loftier goal.

Chuck from ARCO or Chuck from Shell?

Chuck was from California where the girls went for their game show tryout.

The latest report is that she dyed her hair dark hair gray and is traveling south in a cream-colored convertible.

Well, I do declare! My pussy smells just like shit!

Emilio Estevez is a little Spanish.

NEITHER! I'M GOING TO SPRAY PAINT IT ON MY HUMP!

Let's see, we're in January, so this would be week three.

Put it behind your ears, Rose.

Girls! There's a busload of Greek sailors out front! They want to know how many drachma there are in eight dollars!

She’s in the attic!

I think he'd rather get it from me. He's been getting it from me all week.

What does she model? Car covers?

And if you say something smart, I'll slap you silly.

The only woman who could *possibly* know what I'm going through is Miss Priscilla Presley. And Susan Anton.

No...not Susan Anton.

You sucked how many cocks?!

“Loved Christmas..”

Rose remembering her late husband.

And

Blanche preparing a box of clothing for Goodwill. “For needy sexy people.”

And

Blanch talking about her shoe size. “ I am a size 6, but is 7 feels so good, I wear an 8.”

Dorothy to Gloria (the second one): Fine, hide your pain...I can wait.

Later on....

Dorothy: She's out of m-o-n-e-y.

Stan: Well she's not getting mine *holds stuffed monkey on traffic cone tighter*

Dorothy: She's not out of MONKEY, Stan, she's out of MONEY!!!

"I know, that's I want it!"

That’s why I want it, R339

Sorry too tired to be typing on here :)

To add on to R330,

“Your ad said you’d do anything for $8.”

*Looks at Dorothy*

“I’ll give ya 4.”

The Girls are holding their noses as they try out some Rose Viking dessert that smells awful but tastes like chocolate cheesecake with strawberries and ice cream.

Sophia walks into the kitchen and sees them holding their noses and says scornfully: "Hey give me a break, you can't smell that from the hallway."

This isn't the Copacabana!!

She uprooted a mighty sequoia

Cabbage she serves me. In ten minutes I could be a skywriter.

Blanche: Ernie [the contractor], don't mind her [Dorothy]. She just got up on the wrong side of a cold, lonely bed.

Ernie: A good looking woman like that sleeps alone. I'm shocked!

Sophia: You're letting a man with taste like that remodel our garage?!?!

When a man at Rose's job says, I need to clear the air, Sophia replies, Don't look at me. I haven't had a raw vegetable in six months.

Oh you heard that? I thought I was safe backed up against these pillows.

I found her in the basement slow dancing with a rake!

Edible panties!

Blanch's brother praising his hot undercover husband to be cop to the girls:

"He'd bend over backwards for me!"

Dorothy clamps her hand over Sophia's mouth.

"I'll bet he bends over FORWARDS for you, too."

Why don't we hook you up to the toaster and make pop tarts.

I could vomit just looking at you.

My feet have wings, BARF BAG!

[quote]Dorothy clamps her hand over Sophia's mouth.

And then Dorothy says in a deranged little girl voice, "Sometimes I just love to hug my mommy!"

I don’t think I can get my hand that far up your dress.

God, what an actor!

Shake it off, wimp! Dorothy to her parter during the dance contest.

You call this tapioca?

r360, meet r111.

He's a doctor. He's used to seeing people at their worst. And if you comb your hair, you'll be right in that ballpark.

To the moon, Ma!

Oh Rose, if I closed my eyes I'd swear I was in Ecuador.

And every bathroom was Calcutta in July

Near the end of our marriage, our house looked like Easter in Rotterdam.

I've grown SO MUCH as a writer since then.

Be his friend. Be his lover. Don't be his slave.

Be his friend. Be his lover. Don't be his slave.

Be his friend. Be his lover. Don't be his slave.

Be his friend. Be his lover. Don't be his slave.

Is she for real?

Encore, encore...date me.

We are the world.

What's my diary doing on the coffee table...next to a pair of pliers?

Thanks dad.

Blanche! Your lover boy is here!

Who's the macadamia?

Then I suppose even he had his standards.

Oh, did I mention her last name was Feld-man?

Lawrence of Arabia, Rose.

my bosoms

And Blanche, you do the screwing...and he came up with that one on his own, I swear!

Stan: "That's my boy!"

Michael: "That's my dad!"

Dorothy: "That's my money."

"My favorite!"

Ma

R385 i love that one.

[speaking on the phone]

“...twice.”

Always fills me up just a little:

"I'm nobody's little girl anymore."

"My baby is gone."

The part that gets to me is also during the Big Daddy's funeral episode. It's when Blanche says there's no one to proud of her anymore.

It made me think about how true this statement is.

After our parents die, it's possible that no one else in our lives will ever be as proud of our accomplishments in life as our parents were.

People may be happy for us, but it's just not the same.

But the horse's eyes are crossed.

May he rest in oeace...until I get there.

*peace

I don’t know why I raised my hand.

Really, Rose? I always thought Churchill said that at Yalta!

Blanche: "They're just poor, lonely women....."

The new widow Angela: "....those are the guys from Phil's poker night in NJ"

Dorothy, move the coffee table. I wanna do a cartwheel.

There was ma in the front row, sucking a lemon.

^^^ Someone lose the Little Miss St Olaf pageant, did we?

Rose: Dessert? At midnight?

Sophia (gesturing towards Blanche): There's always room for jello.

Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Linda Ronstadt. I'm doing Pirates of Penzance across town.

"Black? Benjamin wasn't black, he was from New Jersey!"

"I went to the prom with Yankee!" (Pronounced : YANKEH!)

Can Ella shatter glass?

Stanley, if you're doing what I think you're doing under there, you're in big trouble.

We were a team, George. I MISS being a team.

[quote]Stanley, if you're doing what I think you're doing under there, you're in big trouble.

I never really got that line. I mean, I’m not stupid, I know what the implication was, but every time I see it, he just lets out a quick laugh. I’ve masturbated in bed where I didn’t want anyone to know before, laughing wasn’t one of the telltale signs.

Guess it was just for the laugh.

Actually Miles did buy some bikinis. But just the bottoms.

Unless a Lesbian sheds - that I don't know.

I feel like I'm in the middle of an awful dream. And yet I know it can't be a dream cause there are no boy dancers.

I never felt unsafe when I was with Charles.

I loved Rose's line about Miles falling through air while skydiving and grabbing for a bird.

There was also a line about some guy holding onto his dickey.

She's not so tough without her lobster.

R410 proof positive that Blanche was a concoction of all gay writers.

And can someone please finally tell me wtf r404 means?? Is it a popular joke among blacks?

R416 Can Ella shatter glass is a reference to singers who can hit a certain note that makes glasses shatter. But it's not really applicable to Ella Fitzgerald because she isn't known really for singing high. You usually use this phrase with operatic sopranos or maybe shriekers like Mariah Carey. That line always felt like pandering to me. Weak writing trying to sound black.

Females to fondel?

It's not bad for store bought.

I had drapes that color.

Who drove here in a car today?

Those naked Southern guys sure can dance!

Sonny Bono, get off my lanai.

I should've known to expect something like this from you, PICKPOCKET PEARL!

Sophia: "Well excuse me while I play the grand piano!"

Mom always says "never play ball in the house"

r414....Morothy's son's future black mother -in-law said that when she was asked if she and her sisters liked cheese cake.

R415 No, dear.

Anyone named after an apostle, follow me.

R427 sorry there was no Eddie.

They were made for petite ears.

Sorry, they're just have to do until Disney unveils its Dumbo line.

Choice of vegetable.

It's just like being in Gone With the Wind.

The way Blanche says Brooklyn.

Actually the way Rose says it too.

Jules should work on getting hit tits bigger, they need to project more.

Crap wrong thread

Well, mercy me, looks like my little magnolia has turned into a big ho.

Blanche, that's Sonny Bono! He's a major television star.

Boy, he makes Wallace Beery look like Adolphe Menjou.

Blanche, spin the wheel!

And you, Dorothy, are the biggest disappointment to hit the streets since the AMC Pacer

Oh, right, you get the Edgar Allen Poe-tatoes. And the ice water cometh.

Our next contestant is an artist with an incredible body.

CONDOMS, Rose! Condoms condoms condoms!

“Little balls of sunshine in a bag!”

“Sometimes life just isn’t fair, kiddo.”

“A piece of blue sky just fell on my head! The wherefore and why is best left unsaid.”

Oh please, Blanche. I could stuff Godzilla and Big Foot in there and still have room for a formal dining room set.

That sock drawer is my business.

We NAMED IT!

You thought Giorgio Armani was a puppet on Ed Sullivan.

Now THAT is the resume of a hospital administrator.

I sound like I'm on Ryan's Hope.

Dorothy, jut because you have to walk around looking like an English lawyer doesn't mean everybody has to.

^ just because ...

You expect me to ride the subway...In my BLUE JEANS???

The only thing I understood in there was "studs".

[quote]Can Ella shatter glass is a reference to singers who can hit a certain note that makes glasses shatter. But it's not really applicable to Ella Fitzgerald because she isn't known really for singing high.

Wrong. It was a reference to a specific, well-known Memorex ad of the period, where Ella's amplified voice was shown shattering a glass. A tape recording of the same piece of singing was then played, and likewise shattered the glass. The slogan: "Is it live? Or is it Memorex?"

R457, meet R426.

Oh really??!? Then why is it on your JOB resume???

"Which one's the slut?"

Actually, at this point, it turns more into a Veteran's Day story.

Remind me, when I feel better, to kick the crap out of her.

The man is a scuzzball!

thanks pussycat.

My uncle was a coal-mimer.

"I wish my parents were around to see this."

"Why, because they would be so proud of you?"

"No, because they'd be alive."

"It's just a hell of a book."

I know...you'll watch an old Barnaby Jones, eat a pint of rum raisin ice cream, and throw up.

Stan: Where am I going to sleep?

Dorothy: On the floor like any other dog.

R469 that's a great episode - always puts a smile on my face.

Sophia they won't give me a refund on my nectarine.

If I wanted that kind of abuse, I'd work for Roseanne Barr.

I'm familiar with the big guns, Stanley.

And she still hasn't worn your sweatshirt.

Brainard badmouthed the show after he left, but that didn't stop him from returning for Tad and Dixie's wedding or the 35th anniversary week.

ooops, meant to post in the AMC thread.

My, my, sir, I do believe you're jealous.

Grits.

My cupcakes are moist and delicious.

If Tony calls, tell him I faked it. Oh, baby, oh, baby, oh, baby. Oh, please.

Boy, it must be pouring!

Like I’m the only person who ever mixed a margarita in a sailor’s mouth.

Your heart’s in the right place, but I don’t know where the hell your brain is.

To think, Dorothy's lived with The Temptations. I've never even been to one of their concerts.

But I see they didn't get your cocaine.

Blanche: Oh girls... I'm just in ecstasy. My body is tingling all over. You will never guess what just happened.

Sophia: We know what happened. Let us just guess what part of the Middle East he's from.

So racist, but so hilarious.

These are two women that think boils on a man are a sign of virility

Here, ma...have some chocolates. The doctor didn't know what he was saying when he said they were bad for you.

Tough act to follow.

Ma!

Rose, don’t! That tea was for my mommy.

They thought I was on ANGEL DUST!

My God it wasn't my CONFIRMATION dinner was it?

I know what I’m doing. Every Thursday I watch La Law!

Emmett Kelly applied make-up with more finesse.

Where are you going?

To get a job as a housekeeper.

What are we celebrating? Did the Supremes get back together?

Or was Rubella our cleaning lady?

Oh MargUrite, I could kiss you.

Not until we locate a toothbrush, okay?

I am mothra, giant radioactive insect. wee wee.

My name is Blanche Devereaux. That's French for Blanche Devereaux.

“Sophia the Pope’s here!”

“All my life I’ve been waiting for this moment.”

“Ok I won’t disturb you.”

I can do without a lot of Sophia’s bathroom and fart jokes but that one cracks me up everytime.

"That's pronounced "Dever-oh" it's only pronounced "Dever-ocks" in limericks."

Wow, he's really getting along well with his future mother-in-law.

Here's a timely one for you:

"Look, if I wanted this kind of abuse, I'd be directing The Roseanne Barr Show."

I never liked that show. Every week it was the same thing, "Ricky, can I be in the show?" "Ricky, can I be in the show.?" Why couldn't she be in the show?!?! She was a riot at home. His show at the club stank!

No daughter of mine is "Selling her stuff".

I drive a Gremlin for God’s sake!

AIDS is not a bad person’s disease, Rose.

This is more touching that Susan Hayward's climactic speech in "I Want to Live".

*than

There. I touched it.

I said coffee!

I've never told anybody this, but I had to transfer high schools because of a field hockey incident.

I’m a woman! Here me roar!

^^^Hear me roar!

Opposite side of the street parking. Nobody could understand the concept. It doesn't matter which side you park on, there's always an opposite side.

"What's Ham short for?"

"Ham and Potatoes!"

I don't want to be treated as your equal. I want to be treated a lot better than you. Like a goddess. Who likes to go bar hopping.

Lifesaver?

Ah, go to hell, ma.

Please, what is she going to do in the NBA?

What do we have for collateral...a gay cook?

Of course no chicken likes to be that near an open flame.

What is this? A revival of Raisin' in the Sun?

Geez, my Italian must be rusty. I could swear she asked if you were a streetwalker.

Not in the kitchen! You'll dry out the cheese!

Dorothy: Stan was there. He really showed that special part of him.

Rose: Right there in the waiting room?

Tina Sinatra!

You think you're confused? Take a look at our horn section.

He is THE sexiest actor on TV.

One time, a mysterious drifter stole our butter churn.

I used to be a man.

I've got no use for people, never have! See ya inside.

I guess even he had his standards.

Maybe she's a disabled welder with a breathing problem.

I was a candy stripper once.

AUNT BLANCHE!!!!

I would, but I don't know what "fret none" means.

“You have an unhealthy, obsessive love for me!”

“Oh!”

“Carl, I’m dumping you for Coach Wilkins!”

On a side note, nice bulge on David!

My, my, my, sir I do believe you’re jealous.

Younger than Chrissy? Where’d she meet him, Camp Snoopy?

Holly, that haaAASSS to be the funniest story I ever heard.

R542 one of the few lines that misses.

Why didn't you tell me it was FATHER Layhee?

Big deal, I took a whole place setting.

I didn’t mean to ruffle your feathers, chief.

Oh Ray-nay.

R547, the line is: "Sorry, chief, I didn't mean to ruffle yo feathers."

"We're here collecting...uh...lingerie...for sexy needy people," says Blanche dressed as Sister Blanche to Uncle Angelo

Ever since then, it's been my muse, my inspiration, the embodiment of my creativity.

"Flirting is part of my heritage," says Blanche

"What does that mean," asks Rose

"It means her mother was slut too, Rose," says Dorothy

He wanted to thank me for all the work I did on the Hotchkiss project.

"It was five years before I knew what made your eyes go back in your head," says Rose about her marital sex and learning about her own orgasms

"Dorothy, did you....you know...the first time?"

"How, could I? It always seemed to happened before I was in the room," answers Dorothy

"This is exactly what happened during the Great Herring War!"

"Yes, between the Lindstroms and the Johannsens!"

Oh THAT Great Herring War.

Fasten your seatbelt, slutpuppy.

Face it, Dorothy. Your friend Jean [pause] is seeing a married man.

"Now listen, you withered old Sicilian monkey!"

Dorothy to Sophia.

Not an "insignificant line," but at least you can have this one memorialized and carry it around with you every day.

Hi Martha. This is my son Alfonso and my grandson Bobby. They came to Miami to go fishing, but all they've caught so far is a cold.

Now THIS is the resume of a hospital administrator!

I don't have much experience vith vomen

“Would you like us to defrost a loin of of pork so you can scoop up the sauce?”

R560 I love that line!

Is that a picture of an official golden girls piece of merchandise?

Graverobber, entrepreneur.....he had a family to feed!

It's an awful lot to da gest at once.

"To make a long story, short:

Up the stairs and down the stairs....up the stairs and down the stairs....and UP the stairs and DOWN the stairs..."

ROSE!... you're not making the long story, short...."