I bottomed three times within 24 hours and ugh how do you bottoms do it all the time?

Go away frau troll.

If you don’t do it that often, it can be uncomfortable trying to loosen up your hole

I'm guessing he didn't really stimulate your prostate, or you wouldn't be asking. That usually involves a partner getting in there with his fingers, and it's amazing.

Practice with dildos and butt plugs first, smaller then larger. Do this once a week for an hour or two at a time and it will train your ass so it's not such a pain when you have a real dick in there.

R1 Do you often meet fraus who are into anal?

R2 It wasn't difficult at first, I tend to relax pretty well (I love receiving super intense back massages too) but now it does feel exactly like an overworked muscle.

My tricks are........ I use warm water and sea salt to flush/ clean out everything. I only Bottom on a relatively empty stomach (I’ll eat a slice or bread or crackers to kill the hunger pains if there are any) and I take an ibuprofen or an aspirin at least 10 to 20 minutes prior to the sex. That way my hole can take a good pounding and I can just focus on the pleasure while the pain is nulled.

R3 How do you get into someone's ass with your fingers while fucking them with your dick?

He actually did. I just mean there is a price for that. Ugh does it really feel good to have something up there for two hours? I don't think I could keep it up for two hours to jerk off along with it.

Ibuprofen will help with inflamation, too, afterwards. I take one before going to the dentist for the same reason (except mouth related, not ass)

Frau alert. Some bored, Amarillo housewife turned to a hate group for acceptance and now she does the lord's work through gay websites. And yes, she's fat.

Amateur.

r6 it's a play session, start small - they have sets of butt plugs, usually called trainers or something, that come in three or five sizes. Stick the small ones in there for awhile, jack off while watching porn, then upgrade to the bigger ones and then finish the jack off session. It may not take two hours, just depends on you. Also silicone lube is your friend.

Not quite, R8. I think she's using DL as a source of info for all of the slash she writes.

R10 Thanks for the idea! I just thought it would be hot if a partner did that too. Like a long lazy slow stretching.

R11 Women have asses too. No prostate but if a woman wanted to know how a stretched out ass feels, all she needs to do is buy a dildo.

I sometimes do it six times before breakfast!

All in moderation and gradually, or your hole will end up looking like giblets. Horror shot just before the 21-minute mark.

Solid food stays in the stomach for hours, and that's even before taking hours to travel along the rest of the intestines, so there's absolutely no need to starve yourself before anal. Please don't use salt or detergents in your rectum; just normal water.

R15 I've never done the douche thing anyway, I think it's gross. Just washed it really well and a bit inside it too. Never had any problems, maybe some tiny traces but who cares, it's a condom.

disgusting!

There will be tiny tears in your rectal lining, and tiny holes in the condoms (if you used any). You may very well have seroconverted last night.

But something tells me you seroconverted a long time ago.

1. Progressively bigger butt toys, OP. How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, practice, practice!

2. Psyllium husk powder. That keeps the stool firm. Then you can clean out what needs to be cleaned out and have peace of mind that there's not going to be ugly surprises later.

[QUOTE]I'm vers

You’re a bottom.

R20 Is that the same logic that makes you gay if you had sex with a man?

[QUOTE]Is that the same logic that makes you gay if you had sex with a man?

No.

Well right now if I had to give up either bottoming or topping I'd give up bottoming. It's more work.

That’s why good, enthusiastic bottoms need to be worshipped. They’re doing the Lord’s work. I’m not a bottom-shamer in the least; quite the opposite.

[quote] frottage

Ancient.

#bottumzrool

Sorry Frau OP. Men have prostates and women do not. You will never know how good it feels to get that ich scratched. All women who do anal are just doing it for the guy, to avoid pregnancy or to pretend they are more sexually adventurous than they really are.

[R15] & [R16] You probably both wonder why your rooms smell like shit during sex and why guys probably don’t rim you as much if not at all. If you guys aren’t douching or even taking the percautionary tale of don’t “Bottom on a full stomach” to heart then I’m sure you’re both terrible at being bottoms. That rinsing the outer rim of your ass trick is sooo lazy. And fiber or not. You have to rinse your holes out completely guys. Now if you like the funk and smell of shit even if it’s slight. Then just admit that you like a little scat and dirtiness to your sex. But I pride myself on my bottom cleanliness and having this pride is the reason why I get good dick and not just run of the mill guys. Clean hygiene and grooming go hand and hand.

R28 R16 = OP so yeah I've been bottoming like once a month before, I guess?

R27 Nope some women enjoy anal. Their vagina can be real close to their rectum so it gets stimulated from the inside.

R30 hahahaha, yes because clearly you know so well. "Their vagina can be real close to their rectum" - as opposed to sometimes when it's closer to their chest.

And no I'm not a frau, that just cracked me up

R31 The idea that women enjoy sex less than men do is created by insecure gay men.

R15 that was disgusting.

Women don't have sex.

They don't poo, either.

My response had absolutely nothing to do with that notion. It was the comment about vagina being close to rectum.

I have no idea how you got anything about women enjoying sex less than men by my post??

[R16] It’s just tiny traces....who cares, It’s a condom. Sidenote: LOL Um? How about the guy fucking you? How inconsiderate are you? Now I get what some of my Top friends are complaining about certain bottoms. The goal is to have a clean enough hole so that incidences like that won’t happen. If it’s a fair accident, I understand. But it sounds like you really could care less if it does. I curse your sex life! From now on the romantic interest or hookups you meet from here on out will only want to jack-off with you! No oral or sex. Just masterbation galore.

[quote]The idea that women enjoy sex less than men do is created by insecure gay men

Don't blame us for everything, AGAIN.

The idea that women enjoy sex less is created by men who think they have to be super manly sexual gods so "of course" they enjoy sex more so than women.

R36 Aren't you R27?

R37 I mostly top when I do anal, do you think I haven't seen the same stuff on my own condom? I appreciate spontaneity, having to prepare so much in advance is boring and strips sex of a certain wildness. I also like having sex outdoors, like literally fucking standing on your knees on the forest ground, maybe it's just me being animalistic, but I truly don't care much.

I curse you for your slovenly use of the English language, R37. "...you really could care less," indeed! Surely you can see that means the exact opposite of what you were trying to say?

So you’re into scat. Just admit that having some shit on your stick, symbolizing the “spontaneity,” turns you on, R39.

Oh, rest R41. And read "Brokeback Mountain". The story.

"I curse your sex life! " I love you, R37. You're fabulously twisted!

So you’re impatient and I agree with [R41] you’re most likely mildly into scat. Okay got it. And [R40] Shut the fuck up. I’m sure you can understand that? Is that good enough for you bitch?

In the middle of this discussion OP wants to ask, is that normal that I seem to have some extra air inside me? Put inside by all the pumping I guess.

R39 There is a difference between not caring about something and liking it. I don't care if my t-shirt gets a bit wrinkled but do I wrinkle it on purpose before going out?

[R43] Lol, fabulously twisted in a good way. 😉

Clean your asses out thoroughly before bottoming. Every time.

You want spontaneity? That shit all over the sheets over there was spontaneous. Happy now?

R48 How can you have shit all over the sheets if you are healthy and you don't have anal sex right as you feel like visiting the toilet?

Haha, OMG I love this thread! I’m leaving now because I’m laughing too much and I need to sleep.

[R45] That is normal, but to reduce push your hole out as he’s penetrating in! That way it pushes the air out. That’s also why I’m stating the importance of fucking on a bit of an empty stomach. The air from all that thrusting can set in motion some trapped bowel moments if you’ve eaten at least two to three hours prior to your dick down.

r51 needs shut down.

Here's how it works, R49. Your body responds to that pounding. It responds to having a cock probing your rectum. And, sometimes, that response comes in the form of the feces in your system moving. That's why the psyllium is a great idea. If things move, better it be firm, and not like sludge. That is much harder to control.

I usually prefer to top. It is always good to start warming up your bottom with your finger. But if I stick my finger in a guy's ass and feel a turd... DONE. I just tell him, 'Sorry, we can't do this. You're not ready. You haven't cleaned out.'

What the fuck kind of sick, lazy, person offers up an ass full of shit? AND WHO THE HELL WOULD STICK HIS DICK IN A TURD???

[R49] You stupid Trollope? Have you not been paying attention? Now your trying to make an excuse as shitting is okay during anal. Shitting is not expected during the act unless it’s a literal “Shit Show” you’re both trying to put on (AkA Skat). Now both participants know that there could be a possibility of it happening but I think the average Top and Bottom both hope that it doesn’t happen during sex. [R51] I’m not a computer you “I’ll take a caramel frappe to go” basic ass bitch. Log off if you’re not really going to throw shade or contribute to this thread.

R53 Well I wouldn't want a turd there, either. I mean, how does he not feel that it's there and ready to out? Extremely gross. When I said traces I meant you wouldn't notice anything unless you seached for them real hard. Not an ass full of crap.

Yea the frapp comment is for you [R52]

Some vicious "good Christian" is going back to her fundie church group to report in horror everything she's learned from this thread.

They practice with sex toys!

They end up with feces on the sheets!

They do it even though it hurts!

Of course she assumes that look of fevered intense interest on the pastor and several members of the congregation is from fervent prayer.

R57 A bit of hurt can actually feel good during sex. But not afterwards.

Jesus Christ, R55. You're not possibly for real.

Ass-fucking causes your system to respond. If there is anything there to move, expect it to move.

To be a good bottom, you have to not only eat healthy but be an intermittent faster. Maybe eat after you fuck. That’s part of the perks of being in a committed relationship: you can have regular sex during interval periods.

It doesn’t allow for the spontaneity of fucking in a forest, but you can still strike randomly within a certain time frame. Me and my boyfriend (a bottom) have our routine down like clockwork. And there’s never any shit on my stick.

Look, both roles have show requirements: bottoms need to clean their hole for the sex to work, and tops need to be able to get hard for the sex to work. We each have our role to live up to. Take it seriously. Sure, once in a while it fails.....ok! But to go into it with a complete lack of effort is not right. Can't we all just do our part?

"the spontaneity of fucking in a forest"

Every day on DL I pick up a new favorite expression.

R59 If it's close enough to the exit to reach my partner's cock in time, sure. Makes sense. However, if one often has sludge in there, time to see a doctor. Normal feces are firm and shaped. .

[R53] What the fuck kind of sick, lazy, person offers up an ass full of shit? AND WHO THE HELL WOULD STICK HIS DICK IN A TURD???

THANK YOU!!

And [R55] Don’t try to back peddle now. We already know that you’re the type that doesn’t care about details. You’re the type of guy that does the bare minimum when you prepare to bottom and most likely when you Top, your stroke game is off.

R60 Does that mean some kind of routine for fucking? Not just "ugh I kinda feel not ready right now [because I might be close to wanting to go]" but an actual timetable?

R64 My stroke game is perfect but the rest is on you.

Bowel movements change, R63, especially as you get older. They’re not going to come out in nice, firm, compact shapes every time. And when they don’t, it’s not necessarily a sign of a disorder. That’s just the way humans are.

[R61] & [R63] Yes & Double Yes.

Let me also leave one more tip. Kale and Spinach!! Eat it all the time!! It strengthens your prostate and it helps to create full bowel movements (At least for me). Fiber is good, but Iron is better! These two veggies at least keep you bowel shapes consistent!

R68 You people make regular bottoming sound like a 24/7 job.

[QUOTE]Does that mean some kind of routine for fucking? Not just "ugh I kinda feel not ready right now [because I might be close to wanting to go]" but an actual timetable?

Yes. We don’t exactly have “sex at 7:30” penciled into iCal, but there is a routine of sorts.

No, no, no [R66]. Clearly it’s on you, and what I mean by “It’s on you”? SHIT!

R70 I see. Not sure it would work for me, I'm all about spontaneity in a forest. Like I might want all anal for several days and then no anal for two weeks. Or let's have sex five times today but no sex at all tomorrow. It's exactly why I bottomed a few weeks ago and then I decided to bottom three times in a row within a day. Fancy struck.

One doesn’t necessarily have to give up spontaneity if one has a good diet and good hygeine. I eat well so I don’t leave residue. I’m a “one-wipe” Charlie. I’m usually a morning pooper, after which I’ll take a shower, clean well (not douching), and go on about my day. I work with a fuck buddy who likes public play, and I get fucked by him on the stairs of our office building fairly often and have never had an issue.

OP = Extraordinarily stupid titmonster

Anal is dangerous for a variety of reasons, especially HIV

R73 That office building story sounds awesome.

I just want all the guys who are claiming their love for (Spontaneity / Spontaneous Sex) to just admit that they like having funky, musty, potential Scat lubbed sex. That hippie nature boy shit! I hate to even ask if you guys like to kiss. Ain’t no telling how much pride you guys have regarding your oral hygiene.

R77 I'm starting to think you have a funky fetish yourself.

And nope, not much into kissing unless there are some emotions with the sex. Kissing is for being in love.

R77, it’s because I’m obsessed with hygiene and it is therefore impeccable, that I can indulge in spontaneous sex.

[R78] Funny? You care about love but don’t even love yourself enough to clean out for sex when you do bottom. [R79] You’re right! Because I’m a smarter slut than you and the other trashfuck you’re backing up.. I give the Top guys the illusion that the sex is spontaneous when I call for them. But when they hit me up (And if I’m not prepped) I usually tell them to come over the next day or on a day when I’m off from work. Do you know how they usually respond? They say “okay”, “No problem” and their fuckboy asses wait. (Even though they may still go bust their nut with someone else) At least my fuck buddies know they’re getting a fresh quality hole with me! Everytime they hookup with me! Even if the sex is planned or if they think it’s spontaneous. It’s a win for me either way....you stupid sluts. How old are you guys? I’m 27. I’m just curious. 🤔

You’re ridiculous, r80. It seems that you actually believe that because I enjoy spontaneous sex, that I never prepare for sex. Or that I would allow sex when I clearly wasn’t ready for it. Ridiculous.

Haha @ this thread. R80, you're unhinged. Instead of getting mad, fix your diet, hoe! Put down the McDs and fried chicken. Drink more water and less Kool-Aid. That way, your prepping sessions won't need to be marathon events.

[R82] Wow! I’m sooo hurt. I’m definitely going to think about what you said from time to time today as I’m running around doing Sunday errands. Ya know? Grocery shopping at Erewhon, followed by a pedicure and manicure at Hammer & Nails on melrose, then the Culver City Stairs for “my ass maintenance” and cardio. Then it’s off to watch the Cavaliers and Pacers over a good friend of mine followed by The Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion. I’m Black, moderately successful without a college education and I’m living smack dab in the middle of Los Angeles. And again, I’m 27. Soo bitch. What do I have to be mad at? And by all means! Please tell me what I could be mad at?

And I gotta start laundry right now. [R82] You should do yours too bitch.

Especially with all that poop on the sheets.

R83 Aren't you too young to need ass maintenance?

What do you have to be mad at, R83?

Duh. You're in L.A.

[R86] Yes! I love to work my ass out. Maintenance as in “Maintain”. Now just because you want to sit up and age while your ass falls by the waste side doesn’t mean that other do. [R87] I was just in New York last week to visit family. Ya’ll are all out there snorting Yayo like it’s going out of style out there! Everyone’s on Coke. Lol. I love New York and wouldn’t mind living there but...I’m a LA Boy at heart. I can’t fuck with that blizzard weather!

Wayside, darling. Wayside. 'falls by the wayside.'

Mixing in the word "waste" in a thread about cleaning your ass is positively Freudian!

[R89] And yet you still understood and knew what I meant? But ah yes “By The Wayside!” is the correct saying. Thanks for correcting/checking me. Do you work for Microsoft Word?

This hole thread is comedy gold! Thanks OP.

Now, now, R90. Don't write so that they will understand you. That is lazy, sloppy and risky.

Write so that they do not misunderstand you.

"Clean hygiene"

As opposed to dirty hygiene?

Now, now, now [R92]

Bottomed three times in 24 hours? Perhaps you might have considered the primary use of your anus before allowing it to be invaded with potential disease and discomfort.

With the same guy, right??

R95 Well my ass is feeling almost fine now so I guess no lasting consequences. Just a bit sore. Also, why disease? Condoms are a thing, you know.

R96 Yes, the same one.

Look!!! I think you terrible guys shut up a troll on R75.

Do you realize how rich I could be if I started to write scat porn or something? I have all the material right here! But since I’m a straight woman, I will do this surreptitiously under an assumed name. Omg ass-umed! I’m regressing to age 13 and I thank you for the inspiration!!!

[quote]There will be tiny tears in your rectal lining

Really? I don't think she'd fit in there.

You're just not trying hard enough, R99.

R96, no, of course not!

"Log off" lmao R54. I see what you did there.

This thread brings new meaning to "does a bear shit in the woods?"

[R102] Lol,

How's your hole feeling today, OP?

Everything ship shape?

I'll never understand why you boys continue to have anal sex. Sure, I suppose it's pleasurable, but for me, that would be offset by all the prep work and the especially the high risk of diseases. Too terrifying for my mind to even contemplate. It's just not a natural route for sex and, but let's face it, something natural doesn't take so much preparatory work and effort. I'm not judging you boys of course (that will be up to HIM on judgement day), but you really shouldn't be doing that.

Men have been having anal sex with each other and women since the dawn of civilization, so fuck off talking about "natural"

Really, I'm not judging you boys. But just remember one thing, and I tell this to my sons all the time: it's your life, but it's HIS soul. Just think about.

The shit troll takes another detour.

Wrong, r33, it’s created by nature and science has proven it.

Men enjoy sex for sex's sake. For women, it's a necessary evil to get the things from a man they really crave: house, auto, credit cards, furs, diamonds.

Will somebody stuff some dicks in the HOLE-ier-Than-Thou Bottom so she’ll SHUT THE FUCK UP?

Dear r106, you’re in the wrong place to preach all your Bronze-Age superstition worship and bigoted myths.

Clearly, your mouth was only created for eating, and in your case, breathing, so the fact that you also use it for sex proves you’re an abomination and there’s a boogeyman under the earth who wants to torture you in a lake of fire for eternity over it.

The same goes for the legions of straight people and straight animals who’ve always engaged in anal sex for eons. Clearly, they are unnatural. They are synthetic.

If you fell for the Bible, then you’re TOO STUPID to comment on “nature,” Doctor Dumbfuck!

OP

MELANIA? On the way back from the funeral? Eeww.

>>>everyone I meet wants to bottom

Why is this?

Because cocks feel so good hitting your prostate over and over R115. I don't know why people top.

Dunno, R116. God gave men dicks. If getting pounded in the ass was so great, straight men would be begging women to mount them with strap-ons.

Oh give it a rest R117. God also made hermaphrodites, bigamists, dominatrices and idiots.

My fuckbud loves to take it up the ass, and I love to give it. He has a douche attachment on his shower so he can be ready in a few minutes. He texts me and says "I'm ready," and my dick gets instantly hard. Only a couple times has he been a little dirty, and since we're talking about asses here, it's to be expected once in awhile.

Who knew that anal sex could bring forth such emotion, drama, tears and laughter?

If God hadn’t meant for guys to get fucked he wouldn’t have put a hole in their ass.

R121 Women have exactly the same one.

If God had meant for guys to be fucked he would've allowed the ass to self-lubricate.

Dontcha love it when assguys get all defensive?

But seriously, folks, listen to your butt, if it really hurts when fucked (and lay off the numbing creams) it's sending a message.

Just get cleaned out. You'll be good to go. For hours!

ONLY Three times? Amateur.

[quote] If God had meant for guys to be fucked he would've allowed the ass to self-lubricate.

If I had meant man to be smart I wouldn't have created you. Now go brush your teeth. I didn't make them self cleaning either. Idiot.

^Someone's a wee bit defensive. Touch a nerve?