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People Who Use Their Kids as an Excuse for Everything

I’m really getting sick of certain parents who use their kids as a free pass - the reason they don’t have to be accountable. I especially deal with this at work, even though most parents are not even an issue. I repeat, most parents are not an issue.

However, there is that percentage that use having kids as this socially acceptable reason to constantly call out, have to leave early to pick up kids, never have to work a weekend shift, and are constantly talking about how being a parent is such a huge burden. Almost all their conversations start with identifying they have kids and what a martyr they are for that reason.

While I don’t deny it’s a tough job, there are times when I want to say, YOU CHOSE THIS—point out all the parents in the room who make it work—and how their work record reflects that.

I also have old friends that are now too busy to even have lunch on occasion or exchange an email because they are parents. It’s all they want to talk about. My parents were dedicated, too - but they also had an adult identity outside being a mom or dad. That seems the be the exception to the rule these days.

Do you know people like this? How do you handle it?

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by Anonymousreply 8March 20, 2018 12:15 PM

The world of heterosexuals is a sick and boring life.

by Anonymousreply 1March 20, 2018 6:47 AM

but the kid thing does seem like a good excuse.

Some guy I know from college always emails me and two other women when he is in a play (always some dreary little theater nobody wants to go to)

I've noticed the women always say sorry Baby X has a fever etc.

I always had to make up some excuse. (actually a few years ago I decided I didn't even like the guy very much so I just stopped opening the emails.)

by Anonymousreply 2March 20, 2018 6:49 AM

So you do the same thing. I was shocked to see the stupid homosexuals I worked with, who like the OP, didn't realize, they could do the same thing. You just have to be assertive.

by Anonymousreply 3March 20, 2018 7:06 AM

The problem isn't that people are distracted by kids, it's that jobs expect too many hours of one now.

In the other thread we're criticizing the nanny-stabber family because they had domestic help that allowed them to do less hands-on parenting. Here, we're criticizing parents who spend too much time with their kids.

I kind of detest kids, myself, but I don't expect their parents not to prioritize them. We'd just end up with a generation of serial killers.

by Anonymousreply 4March 20, 2018 8:33 AM

Let people know that YOU too have commitments outside of work.

At one point I was taking a course that would require me to leave the office no later than 6 every Tuesday and Thursday. There was a lot of grumbling, but I won. After the course was over, I found other commitments: teaching, caring for parents, etc. As for weekends, I travel or work as a volunteer, (or sit my ass home and relax.) I usually don't share my personal life, but I'm sure to broadcast far and wide how BUSY I am on the weekends.

by Anonymousreply 5March 20, 2018 8:47 AM

Ugh a woman I work with uses her kids as an excuse. Then I hear her talking about going out with the girls to the bar. So she is not staying home playing mommy, just using them as an excuse to get out of work. grrrrrrr

by Anonymousreply 6March 20, 2018 9:07 AM

OP is correct. I have friends who use their kids' activities as an excuse not to attend things. So sick of soccer moms. They blather on endlessly about tournaments and travel games. So fucking dull. And why do you have to go to them ALL? You could skip one and little Madyson would be just fine. I wonder what these parents will do one day when their kids are gone. They have no lives of their own.

by Anonymousreply 7March 20, 2018 10:04 AM

Yes I have a friend who has one little girl who is around 6 now. She and I rarely talk anymore because since becoming a mom she is 24/7 mommy.

For a while I tried to break through the bubble and she would message me, saying how sorry she was, and how exhausting and time consuming being a mom was. But then you see her Facebook pages—she takes her child to literally every child themed party, event, amusement park, child museum, play, Disney in Ice, etc. Everything is a photo op. The child is also in every far flung sport and activity known to man. Hell, I get tired looking at her page. She also doesn’t work and has a housekeeper. Anyway, I stopped trying about 6 months ago. She messaged me the other day to comment on something silly and I didn’t even respond. I’m not mad, it’s that after trying for so long, I don’t care anymore. I get that being a parent is life changing and time consuming, but I think it’s bizarre and unhealthy when you sacrifice your entire existence (and your relationships) to raise a child.

by Anonymousreply 8March 20, 2018 12:15 PM
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