'Clarissa Explains It All' Reboot Starring Melissa Joan Hart Coming To Nickelodeon

But can we get an ALL That reboot with the cast up until the year 2000? That was my favorite show.

90's kids rejoice!

She looks like she's dying in that photo.

Ferguson was gay right? Best little boy in the world syndrome if I've ever seen it.

fuck that right wing devil

Another 90s reboot no one asked for, featuring an actor who turned out to be a prominent Republicunt. Roseanne Barr, Candace Cameron (who is just as bad as her brother by all accounts), and now this bitch can all crawl back into obscurity where they belong.

They should have Sam announce himself as gay. That's the only reason Clarissa's parents let him come into her bedroom window with a ladder. There's an episode where they try to date and they have no chemistry but Sam probably realized he doesn't like girls. I wonder what happened to the actor who played him.

He's still pretty good looking R7

Wouldn't it be more accurate that she play a grandmother?

R9 Melissa is only 44, so being a mom of a teen would make sense since people have kids later than previous generations. But I do think it's so lazy to write older versions of kid characters to all be parents. I hated Raven's Home and Girl Meets World because it felt so forced that they had to have kids and center the shows around that. Not everyone adult woman wants kids and felt out of character for Raven especially with her fashion designer aspirations and young age. The Lizzie McGuire reboot was more interesting because she wasn't going to be a mom though Disney still wanted to make that kid-friendly.

She better have a gay son

I remember when, what must be over a decade ago, Melissa said she would never do a reboot or reunion for any of her shows because "You can never go back."

They did film a sequel to the show where Clarissa works for a newspaper but it didn't get picked up.

frau alert

R12 Hilary Duff had that same attitude until she realized both her Hollywood and music career were never going to happen. Now she is begging for the Lizzie McGuire reboot to still happen.

Clarissa would have been a liberal Democrat. No way can I watch this knowing she is a Republican/Trumpster.

Who the fuck bumps a 2 year old thread about fucking Clarissa? And there's been no news since

Melissa being a Republican makes absolutely no sense to me. She was on Sabrina the Teenage Witch one of the campier sitcoms of the 90s and she doesn't seem homophobic to me. Is she just the rich Republican who hates paying taxes and believes in trickle-down economics but has no problem with gays, blacks and Mexicans?

Never forget her homophobic outburst on MySpace back in 2007.

R17 she’s from a trashy part of Suffolk County with a typical stage mother and grew up Catholic with a million siblings. That area is very much like Staten Island and is total deplorable-Ville. Not in the least surprised.

I wouldn't mind a reboot of that sitcom Brotherly Love but isn't Joey Lawrence also a Republican?

Do the deplorables think her porny photos were high art? Granted, she's not fingering her poosey, but still.

R21 Why of course! Don’t you know that when a Deplorable does it, then it’s classy, but if a liberal does it they are a slut and a whore.

[quote]Wouldn't it be more accurate that she play a grandmother?

Did anyone in your family ever take their HS picture without their children?

Her husband is hot and that's what she really has going for her.

R24 Proof that hot guys don't always go for looks. Though Melissa was pretty when younger, she is extremely plain now.

Ferg-face today. They never explained in the show how two blond parents produced a redhead

A more recent photo of Sean O'Neil who played Sam. He is balding but still looks good.

R26 I reconnected with some old friends at my 10 year reunion. Stop asking questions!!

Ferguson, Seth Green in most of his movies, and that bully in A Christmas Story are the most annoying redheads ever and probably contributed to the stereotypes of gingers having no souls.

If she's playing the same character then this isn't a reboot it's a sequel.

The creator wrote a book sequel called "Things I Can't Explain"

The Adventures of Pete & Pete is still going strong but in the form of a podcast called Danny and Mike. They really are like brothers in real life and hilarious. It's funny hearing them talk about things like sex, drugs and the Grateful Dead. Mike Maronna was and is a very cute redhead.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Damn her husband is hot. She must have made bank on the shitty show!

Who asked for this?

God, why? Unlike with, say, Hey Arnold, Rugrats, etc., nobody from the 90s has any nostalgia for this show.

You all are so old

This thread was from 2018. Someone bumped it for...reasons. There's been no update since.

From her myspace post--what a cunt.

[quote] I am so sick of all the articles saying Chris wrote the song "It's Not Over". Then the other day I saw in In touch that Ace Young is taking credit as well. Bulls*&%t. Mark fully wrote everybit of that song except the new lyrics in the chorus... which are gay anyhow. Mark wrote the song about his ex- manager screwing him over and they turned it into a fairy love song. Anyway just wanted to vent and give my man his due credit. If anyone agrees, write in to the rags and let em have it. I am!!!

Boys suck.

There, I spared you from having to watch this crap.

Another lesson from the show: "Macintosh is the best computer ever!".

Melissa has never been wholesome honestly. Who is she kidding? She is foul-mouthed and a total slutty party girl. She got in hot water for posing in a sexy bikini photoshoot and talking about a Sabrina drinking game. Like regular Disney stars are, Melissa was on a contract with Viacom to have a wholesome, pure image since Sabrina was a "family show". She never got the Miley Cyrus, Jessica Biel and Lisa Bonet level backlash probably because she was in her 20s.

Yes R35 and you're going to get an AWFUL WAFFLE!

R43 It does seem Nickelodeon peaked in the 90s. Welcome Freshman was also pretty funny, an edgier version of Saved by the Bell.

R44: Meanwhile, Nick at Nite showed the genuine article when they had [italic]Dobie Gillis[/italic] reruns.

[quote]Damn her husband is hot. She must have made bank on the shitty show!

Other than being slender, there is absolutely nothing special about him. He’s bald and basic.

This is the DL where any man who is white and not fat is "a hunk" even if he's a serial killer.

Teen Angel should get a revival. Of course Mike Damus isn't a teen anymore but he's funny as hell and cute as a button.

Somehow I don't think [italic]Middle-Aged Angel[/italic] has quite the same ring to it.

R42 her Maxim spread is hilarious. I think it's the hair and her lazy eye.

She was a bitch as a child and she's a bitch as an adult. Bitch.

R51 Joey Lawrence waiting for her to loan him some money.

Joey can always just go back to stripping for money. He still got that body.

If it wasn't for Melissa and Joey, we wouldn't get the superstar Nick Robinson

R50, apparently she was high during the shoot.

[quote] then went to a Maxim photoshoot when she was still high, noting, "That was my third or fourth time on Ecstasy."

R55 that's fantastic 😆

LOL R56, apparently Hilton offerred her cocaine. Hilton denies she did though. Hmmmm.

R57 I don't know why Hilton bothered to comment. Probably still snorts that shit on the daily. I do love that Melissa also made out with a girl in the limo.

I'd fuck her husband and Joey Lawrence tbh.

Clarissa Explains Jesus.

Also Jesse Metcalfe is a devout Christian?

For a bunch of heterosexual supremacists, the makers of that movie certainly don’t know how to photograph a flattering picture of a woman.

R60, that;s basically a lifetime version of the conservative victimhood syndrome.

R62 Stuff like God Is Not Dead, The 700 Club, Left Behind, 7th Heaven and anything off of TBN/CBN and Hallmark Channel.

R63, agreed. It's no coincidence that all these shows are horrible.

I'm actually surprised that she allowed her character's son on the last Netflix show she did to come out as gay. Though that might be why it ended up being cancelled.

I realized that so many former child/teen stars are so narcissistic and delusional with reality. I guess that's the parent's fault for choosing fame and a paycheck over normal brain development, social skills and an education. The only child stars grew up normal had good parents who didnt overwork them and chaperoned them a lot on set.

[quote] It's no coincidence that all these shows are horrible.

Not just bad in execution but evil in concept.

Ended up at the same concert with her and her husband years ago. My friends and I were right next to them and interacted during the show.

(It was at a bar so we could do that.)

She was ... a damn mess. Loud and drunk. Didn't come across as a nice person.

Her husband was ... really sweet actually. I'm not sure if it was because he felt bad that she was acting up or he's just like that.

I feel bad for Freeform the TV channel. They are still forced to air The 700 Club thrice a day due to a contractual obligation. I remember flipping through TV channels and saw a glimpse of 700 Club and Pat Robertson saying some evil racist things against Muslims and homophobic things. He is purely evil and only cares about money too. Nothing remotely Christlike about him

Even Disney who owns Freeform doesn't have enough money to get Robertson to null the contractual obligation. The old fart probably feels since he founded the network (when it was originally CBN Family) that they should still pay homage to him.

The ABC Family/Freeform disclaimers that play before The 700 Club are hilarious

R65 At least she's not a super-controlling freak like Kirk Cameron who made enemies of everyone on the set of Growing Pains because he wanted the show to be more "Christian" and bullied one female cast member for posing in Playboy. Kirk was responsible for those terrible Left Behind movies.

Is she one of these Christians who whore'd it up and did drugs and drank and is now telling everyone else how to live or is she at least self-aware enough not to be a judgmental hypocrite?

Freeform is the case for why Disney never should’ve bought ABC.

It's funny that while Candace Cameron is a Christian fundie. She doesn't seem hellbent on forcing her views on others. There's a reason she still works steadily. Even if its Hallmark movies and Fuller House that's more than her crazy brother. She seems to keep her views to herself unless asked about it.

Aunt Becky's case is hilarious too. She played this upright Christian woman on this Hallmark TV show (before the whole scandal) despite doing so many sexy roles in 80s teen fare. It's like only conservative Christians are allowed to do slutty/trashy things as long as they reform and tell others how to live their lives. Hypocrites

She describes herself as a "moderate conservative" and flip flops between voting Republican and Libertarian. She has admitted to experimenting with drugs when she was younger.

However, she's fine with gay people. In the same way that Candice Cameron-Bure is fine with gay people.

They love us ... while also voting for people who would take away our rights and yet they don't know why people get angry with them.

It's no different than the Republican/Libertarian supporters who have black/Mexican/Native American friends

Those black/Native American/Mexican friends are all homophobic “str8” “men” with chips on their shoulders as big as Mount Rushmore and a sense of entitlement to go with it.

Unfortunately you're right. The Evangelical and right wing movement has a lot of women and people of color involved. That's one sick thing about religion is that it caters a lot to the marginalized who end up being oppressive towards the marginalized within their communities (LGBT, atheists, etc)

This is why all attacks on Mayor Pete were and are a form of homophobia. If he’s so “inexperienced,“ then why do we even let 35-year-olds run for president?

R79 That is stupid because Trump has no political experience whatsoever and then people say they'll vote for Kanye who is a musician. I do see homophobia towards Buttigieg and also misogyny towards Elizabeth Warren.

Like the woman who wanted her vote for Pete back when she learned he is gay. That’s the sort of stuff I’m talking about.

Nah-na-na-na-nah

R73 Disney is a greedy corporation but they bought ABC back in like 1996 which had nothing to do with ABC Family/Freeform. Pat Robertson sold The Family Channel (previously CBN Cable and then CBN Family) to News Corporation/20th Century Fox which turned it into Fox Family and then merged it with Fox Kids to create the subsidiary Fox Family Worldwide. Then News Corp sold Fox Family Worldwide to Disney. Disney turned Fox Family into ABC Family and used the Fox Kids library to create Jetix. It was rumored for years that Disney was forced to keep the title "Family" because of contractual obligations (just like they were forced to keep airing The 700 Club) because ABC Family became more and more adult-oriented and removed all of its kids programming. But that was shown to be untrue because they eventually changed the name to Freeform. Ironically, Disney bought 20th Century Fox's library and cable networks, a decade and a half later.

They never should have gotten into bed with Pat Robertson. Even their attempts to distance themselves from him are too little, too late.

Some people are republicans because they realize government cannot manage anything. Hell, I would be a republican if not for civil rights.

Honestly, I think since cable networks are dying out it and brands are shifting to streaming. Disney may eventually be free from him. Also Robertson is on his deathbed and the generation that supported him aren't too far. Because of the decline of cable, we will still see names like "Freeform", "MTV", "Comedy Central" attached to shows on streaming outlets rather than actually watching the channels.

That theme song sounded like mean girls teasing.

Honestly, the two-party system sucks. I understand people may vote Republican because they are in support of small government, less taxes, don't believe in handouts, are anti-abortion, etc. But my issue is the Republican Party has been infiltrated with so many racists, homophobes, Evangelicals and trolls. Democratic Party is definitely in the interest of big corporations and supported wars and all but they are still the lesser of two evils.

Which one is more likely to trans gay kids before puberty?

Except R88 small government, less taxes, no handouts, anti-choice are all bullshit. They want to put our sex lives into law, less taxes FOR THE RICH, handouts FOR FORTUNE 500 COMPANIES, and abortions only for the mistresses and teenage daughters of the wealthy

R90 Exactly, they are fascists and want a theocracy that caters to the rich. I find it hilarious how they claim to be all-loving Christians but they hate gays, lesbians, transgender, minorities, women's rights and want to punish people for being poor, having premarital sex and non-heterosexual relationships.

R91 is part of the problem for enabling tr-ns and acting like criticism of them is in any way comparable to what gays, Jews, racial minorities, or women have had to face.

Clarissa was a clever sitcom from 90s Nickelodeon. It actually is refreshing to see an intelligent and well-spoken teenage girl with two functional parents and a male best friend who was kind and sensitive. If made today, Clarissa would rude, vapid and obsessed with boys and being a famous pop star, Sam would be rude and sarcastic too, Ferguson would be more annoying and her parents would be bumbling idiots who act like children.

DL never fails to bring trans into EVERY. DAMN. TOPIC.

Melissa when asked about Sam says, “Maybe Sam’s gay, we have no idea.” That explains why Sam never tried to bang Clarissa despite having access to her bedroom at all hours

Will she explain why she supports Trump?

The thread title should be changed to "... starring a notable right wing homophobe and an all-around awful human being Melissa Joan Hart..."

[quote] Will she explain why she supports Trump?

Watch. She'll blame the taxes she'll be paying on the reboot.

[quote]Will she explain why she supports Trump?

She doesn't support Trump and was tweeting negative Trump stuff during the election.

Like Patricia Heaton (another who "supports" gays but is also for some reason a Republican) she broke away when it came time to vote for him and didn't.

... although she threw her vote away voting third party instead.

[quote] Like Patricia Heaton (another who "supports" gays but is also for some reason a Republican) she broke away when it came time to vote for him and didn't.

[quote]She doesn't support Trump and was tweeting negative Trump stuff during the election.

Such as...???

[quote] ... although she threw her vote away voting third party instead.

I actually have even less respect for third-party voters (in america) than I do for trump voters. Trump voters are delusional but third-party voters have been delusional for a lonnnng time now. "I'm voting for Gary Johnson because he's pure and only has a .000001% chance of winning!". OK then.

Pete Buttigieg is more wholesome than any of these conservatives. Gay men and women are held up to such high standards of behavior while straight people can do the most stupidest and trashiest things but it's alright because they're straight and sought out Jesus.

[quote] Gay men and women are held up to such high standards of behavior

By far the worst attacks against Pete came from the more leftwing fringe--many of them gay. "He's not gay enough!", "He's too coporate!", "He's not an advocate for trans sex workers!", "He is in a traditional marriage!". Fucking idiocy.

There is no such thing as a "fringe" when it comes to the Left. Fringes are for surreys, and surreys drive through Oklahoma, the birthplace of Anita Bryant.

She needs to do a Melissa and Joey revival/reboot. Joey Lawrence needs the money!

R106 Joey Lawrence should make an OnlyFans

He can sing "Toot Toot Tootsie Goodbye" without blackface. Or clothes.

"Clarissa Asks to Speak to the Manager"

Karen Explains It All

For this we gave them the vote?

It's embarrassing that the new Sabrina only lasted 4 seasons. I wonder if they'll ask Melissa about it.

[quote]It's embarrassing that the new Sabrina only lasted 4 seasons.

Netflix is cutting costs again and started cancelling many of their shows after 4 seasons.

Even their hit Ozark is done after season 4.

So it isn't embarrassing, it's just Netflix being Netflix.

[quote] It's embarrassing that the new Sabrina only lasted 4 seasons.

Only?? It's more embarassing that it actually lasted 5 episodes.

R114 season one was fine. It went downhill after that.

I can't forgive Sabrina for killing the only real gay relationship on the show.

i liked Ambrose and Luke. Not sure why they thought the Theo shit was a good idea.

I can't stand Melissa Joan Hart. I saw her on a psychic/genealogy show and she kept saying how she's a good Christian, blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile, that trash show she was on - Melissa and Joey - was full of dirty jokes and sexual innuendo. She's a hypocrite.

R118 That's ABC Family content for you lol. Melissa and Joey, Baby Daddy, Secret Life of the American Teenager, Kyle XY, Young and Hungry and Pretty Little Liars. Basically the writing and acting style of Disney Channel combined with the overs-exualized content of The CW.

When Melissa & Joey started she was like 33 or 34, her kids on that show were in their late teens. So that means her character had to have been a teen mother likely unwed too.

R120 she was the aunt.

Some of you are low brow basic hos. You watched Melissa and Joey?

[quote]Meanwhile, that trash show she was on - Melissa and Joey - was full of dirty jokes and sexual innuendo.

On a Nickelodeon show? Y'all must be cray-cray like my sister!

Melissa and Joey was so corny and not funny. I am happy Nick Robinson got a real career though.

Melissa did better on Sabrina, Clarissa and Drive Me Crazy. Joey did better on Blossom, Gimme a Break, all those Disney Channel movies and Brotherly Love.

Melissa was also in a movie with Mario Lopez called Holiday in Handcuffs. She plays this crazy lovelorn woman kidnaps hunky Mario to be her date a Christmas family gathering or something.

Melissa and Joey were also in a low-budget romcom called My Fake Fiance. Melissa loves playing crazy characters

She, Martika, Mario Lopez and Fergie must be the most famous of the Kids Inc alumni.

R127, Jennifer Love Hewiitt sounds good there. Was her singing dubbed?

R128 LOL I meant to put this in the Jennifer Love Hewitt thread. But she and Fergie managed to gain bigger careers than Martika? It's a crime!

R!29, LOL. So 80s, wow. I guess it's preferrable to Kids Songs.

R127 JLH looks so cute with her headband lol

Well Melissa must be a great actress for being able to play such cool and likable characters like Clarissa and Sabrina despite being a bitch in real life.

Clarissa Explains Pearl Jam.

Clarissa Steals Lingerie

She's practically a senior citizen, what's left to explain?

Sam's fashions on the show have been recycled now. The ripped jeans and baggy clothing.

Icon Michelle Trachtenberg got her start on Nickelodeon. Clarissa, Pete & Pete and Harriet Spy. Little Dawn Summers and Georgina Sparks.

R133, lingerie? She has sports-bra tits, what the hell does she need lingerie for!?

Sam was cute. He seems so gay.

Sam's tacky 90s fashion was ahead of its time.

This show looks terrible. Read a book, gays.

R136 entertaining as Georgina, but annoying on Buffy.

Melissa is cancelled. Cultural appropriator

Now that Saved By The Shell sequel actually happened. This must happen now.