If Celebs weren't Celebs, what would they be doing?

Justin Bieber would be turning tricks on skid row, and selling pot on the side.

[quote]And John Stamos would be pumping gas.

Stamos' Dad owned a Greek Diner and John worked there even when he was on General Hospital. So probably that.

Jennifer Lopez would be working at a Chipotle Grill.

Ryan Seacrest would probably 300 pounds and working at a Blockbuster Video store.

Britney Spears would be a happy Christian mom of two kids living in Louisiana happy, probably a little fat

Chris Pratt, professional hunter, adventurer, wildlife guide, and park ranger.

Bette Midler would be a waitress in a diner

Johnny Depp would be a tattoo artist, or a former tattoo artist who lost his job for giving too many drunk tattoos.

Now dealing drugs, and in deep shit with the suppliers because he snorted too much of what he was supposed to sell.

There was a thread a while back about some artist who imagined this.

Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki would be hunting monsters.

Jennifer Lawrence would be an attack saleswoman at her local mall, jumping out at people and getting them to buy dead sea mud or cell phone contracts. She'd have a top sales record, and be able to sell to both men and women, and be working on getter her real estate license and planning to move to a bigger city.

You can't keep that kind of ambition down.

[quote] Jennifer Lawrence would be an attack saleswoman at her local mall, jumping out at people and getting them to buy dead sea mud or cell phone contracts

And if you didn't buy from her, she'd call you a stupid cunt as you walked away.

If they were still gorgeous they wouldn't be doing shit jobs. The world doesn't work that way. Stamos would be a salesman in some capacity and probably making a very nice living.

People don’t hire employees to pump gas anymore. No more Blockbuster videos either, you fossils.

Janet Jackson would absolutely be working at KFC.

No matter what R14 did, he'd always and still be a cunt!

Kevin Spacey would be a child molester. Oh wait...

Kevin Spacey would be an English teacher at a private high school, the kind of teacher who tries to introduce dull little minds to the glories of Shakespear.

And who spends all his spare time working with "at risk youth", just not female at-risk youth.

[quote]Jennifer Lopez would be working at a Chipotle Grill.

I would have loved her tacos.

Chris Pratt would be a barback at some country music bar. One with a mechanical bull. He'd be trying to pick up every single skanky blonde 19 year old getting drunk off wine coolers.

Kevin Spacey would be a carnival barker.

Ryan Seacrest would be a stock boy at Forever 21 getting pissed at people who don't fold the shirt back properly.

Eminem would be working at Burger King and living in some trailer in Florida with his overweight wife who's on disability, and their 7 kids.

[quote] the kind of teacher who tries to introduce dull little minds to[bold] the glories of Shakespear[/bold].

Including the spelling.

Scott Baio would probably be a priest.

I see what you did there, R10.

[quote] People don’t hire employees to pump gas anymore.

In some states it's required.

Kevin Spacey - drama instructor at a college, fired for hitting on all the cute male undergrads

Springsteen would still be a musician. He would be a street musician and be bitter that he never made it big.

Lady Gaga would either work as a curator at an art museum or be a middle/high school music teacher.

Madonna would be one of those mothers who gets involved and takes charge of every school related activity, (chaperoning every dance/field trip, be part of the PTA, organizing banquets for the sports teams, etc.) She'd also try to flirt with the fathers (maybe even her sons' friends and daughters boyfriends as well) and try to be the "cool mom."

Rihanna would be a stripper at the local titty bar.

Justin Bieber would probably be taking orders at a fast food restaurant.

[Quote] Ryan Seacrest would be a stock boy at Forever 21 getting pissed at people who don't fold the shirt back properly.

[Quote] Eminem would be working at Burger King and living in some trailer in Florida with his overweight wife who's on disability, and their 7 kids.

[Quote] Madonna would be one of those mothers who gets involved and takes charge of every school related activity, (chaperoning every dance/field trip, be part of the PTA, organizing banquets for the sports teams, etc.) She'd also try to flirt with the fathers (maybe even her sons' friends and daughters boyfriends as well) and try to be the "cool mom."

I think you're right on the money with these 😄

Miley Cyrus would work at a small hippie boutique that sold handmade arts and crafts, jewelry, dream catchers, incense, candles, and some pipes for a little bit of weed smoking.

Kim Kardashian would probably marry rich anyway so she wouldn't have to work. She'd just have "girls' days" all day (hair and nails done, going shopping, get fancy lunches all day with his money while he worked) with her friend and then wait for him to get some time off so they can vacation somewhere very exotic. With plenty of pictures from the trips and a lot of "look what my husband just bought me" on social media to try and make everyone jealous.

Perez Hilton would work as a Dollar General cashier and think "God, I hate him (or her)" about many of the customers while silently judging what they're wearing/buying. He'd also still hold grudges about petty things that happened in high school and resent all the kids who left their hometown and/or made something out of their lives. He'd also spend his whole lunch break checking to see if he had Grindr notifications.

Brad Pitt would be a barista.

Bryan Singer would direct school plays but be quietly fired and replaced when it was discovered he was having (or at least trying to have) a tryst with one of the boys.

Bryan Singer - scoutmaster

[Quote]Jennifer Lopez would be working at a Chipotle Grill.

I think she would've eventually become a medical assistant or a dental hygienist. Those are popular careers with decently educated Puerto Rican girls raised in New York.

Angelina Jolie would be dead from an opiate overdose.

Beyonce would marry the preacher's son and be a devoted wife/mother. She'd get up there and sing gospel hymns every Sunday which would get everyone in the church standing and clapping or raising their hands in the air.

Reese Witherspoon would be the manager of HR at a mid-sized Nashville company. She'd be feared and despised by everyone whose life she could possibly make difficult, because she WILL if she so much as catches you looking at her funny.

Taylor Swift would be the seemingly mousy PA who is out to ruin her and take her place.

There are no gas station attendants anymore. Through the decades, the public has started doing the jobs for themselves but cost never goes down. The 1% walks away with the bigger profit. They even try to make us check our own groceries, only fools do that. If you check your own groceries, steal as much as you can.

Most of these people would be successful because they are high functioning narcissist and they love themselves...maybe not Bieber. Child stars may be different. Milder be a waitress? You are absurd.

I am surprised that you really don't understand how ambitious these people are. Most who are mentioned, are very hard workers.

r37 As mentioned above, there is no such thing as self-serve gas in Oregon and New Jersey, where they most definitely have gas station attendants.

Sofia Vergara would be shilling for tokens on Chaturbate, along with the rest of her Colombian countrymen.

[quote] If they were still gorgeous they wouldn't be doing shit jobs. The world doesn't work that way.

First of all, most of the people mentioned aren't that gorgeous. Jennifer Aniston has had a lot of plastic surgery, and she and jennifer Lawrence would be pretty ordinary if you walked past them without their elaborate hairstyles, clothes, and makeup. Leo diCaprio is pretty ordinary too even when he is dressed up and styled. Joey Lawrence was only ever remarkable for his body and there are plenty of guys at the mall with good bodies. Chris Pratt esily passed for a small town schmoe when he was on "Parks and Recreation," and it is unlikely without the acting career he would have the discipline to keep up the nice body he currently enjoys.

Second, there are plenty of good looking people in the world who are not celebrities. We all can name them in our own lives. If John Stamos were not a celebrity, he would be one of them--he's about the only genuinely really good looking person in the OP's list.

I think you're the one who doesn't know how the world works. You've clearly never been to LA or Miami, both of which are filled with beautiful nobodies.

Paris Hilton would still be a socialite. She just wouldn't be a celebrity socialite. Life would still be fabulous for her. Filled with wealth, privilege, and comfort. So not much would be different for her. Plus she'd still have a level of notoriety. Because she'd still be a Hilton. The kardashians would also still be in good shape too. Because they would've still been born rich and privileged in Beverly Hills. So not many changes in those people's lives.

As a couple people pointed out above, celebrities are for the most part ambitious, hard working and narcissistic. They would probably rise to the top of any profession they persued.

Talent and natural suitability to a field of endeavor aside these folks would pretty much all be steamrollers in any work environment. Think about all the people you’ve seen jump past everyone around you and wind up the big success among your friends or peers. That’s what celebrities are. They’ve surpassed thousands upon thousands in their chosen field to become successes.

Now there is one type of celebrity who would definitely not necessarily fit this premise. The nepotism celebrity. Would Liza have even gotten through a cattle call on Broadway when she was young? Never. That’s not to say she wouldn’t have been an attention whore, but there’s no way she would have been a success at anything other than drinking and messing around at life.

Jennifer Aniston would definitely be in the ' beauty business'. Probably as the owner / boss of a beauty parlor. With a very good reputation among her middle middle class customers. And the cuntiest bitch to her employees. The turnover would be incessant , and she would blame it on the unreliability of these young women. She would befriend many of her richest clients, and personaly go to their houses to 'do' them, pro bono, for special occasions. Her love life would be identical, except instead of movie stars, it would be the high profile shop owners in town. The realtor. The posh flower shop owner. The manager of a trendy restaurant / golf club.

Paltrow would be the wife of a second or third rank diplomat in a place like Nairobi. She would reign in her social circles, as a dazzling woman. But be secretely despised. Her husband would hit on most her girlfriends.

Depp would be a hobo.

Pratt would be his character in Parks and recs.

Cruise would be in the higher circles of Herbalife.

Lawrence, jennifer, wouldn't keep a job, because of her BPD.

Jolie would definitely have overdosed a looong time ago, after being diagnosed with all the worst STD because unprotected prostitution.

Mia would be volunteering in third world countries, as a teacher. Or a nun. No, not a nun because she was a major slut back in the day.

Mel Gibson - cult leader

Courtney Love - strung-out homeless junkie

Robert Downey Jr - strung-out homeless junkie

Trump - used car salesman

Mike Pence - "ex gay" counselor

Melania Trump - escort

Tim Tebow - preacher who takes a special interest in his young male parishioners

Hugh Jackman - flamoyant community theater director

Colton Haynes - high priced rentboy

Ben Stiller would be working behind the fish counter at Zabar's selling smoked salmon and white fish.

Why is Hugh Jackman prentending to not be gay, and why are American audiences pretending that he isn't, when it is completely obvious that he is ? I don't understand. I have even read that he has a man, who is obviously his lover, living in his house. And they still pretend to have a strictly professional relationship. In Europe he would be laughed at. Could someone please explain this situation in regard to American culture ?

Arron Schock would be running an ExGay conversion camp. He would be giving private counseling to the better looking attendees.

Kim Kartrashian would be getting urinated on in porn...oh, wait....

Harvey Weinstein would be a mafia boss. He'd order a hit on Affleck and Damon.

Colto

Joey Lawrence would be filing for bankruptcy and selling his belongings to pay his bills. Oh wait, that's really happening!

Peter Thiel - IT guy at a college, surreptitiously checking out all the male students

Not to be negative, but so many of these people that are held in such high esteem by Pop Culture are hardly American Royalty as Bette Davis and Joan Rivers and others have said in Interviews.

Hollywood is the principle manufacturer of the 'American Dream'...so many of these people have done better than they ever dreamed, many were or would be working as cashiers in a super market. But Hollywood decide they fit the image Hollywood wants to create. Name changes altering looks, and abandoning certain ethnicities are part of the making this image. That's why women and minorities have had such obstructions to their presence.

Establishing a man-made 'Start System' is odd and as we have seen many times is unsurvivable for mere humans (performing artists)

Being gifted with talent is wonderful and being able to share this gift with fellow human beings is indeed a gift, but the worshipping etc. is odd and enables systems such as we have now with all the sexual assaults by men...men who think of themselves as stars...untouchable and above the law...it will be interesting to see how women embrace this status as they move up the ladder. BTW, I 'm a Black Gay male.

R57 why was that last part necessary? What does that mean? Gay black male????

[quote] As a couple people pointed out above, celebrities are for the most part ambitious, hard working and narcissistic. They would probably rise to the top of any profession they persued

Some of them are. I can think of several celebrities who are so ambitious and who have sold themselves so much they would definitely be like that: Jennifer Aniston, Tom Cruise, Bradley Cooper, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Lawrence, Anne Hathaway I have a good friend who did a summer acting program in high school at Northwestern with David Schwimmer in her cohort (he later went there for college), and she said he was the most confident and self-promoting person she has ever met in her life (which is funny, because he usually plays sweet nebbishes like Ross Geller and Robert Kardashian).

And we've all heard stories about the famous performers who have pulled themselves out of poverty to get through the top, usually through some combination of good looks, sheer desperation, a strong will, and/or the casting couch, like Cruise, Joan Crawford, Marilyn Monroe, Charlize Theron, Arnold Schwarzenegger. And some of them had both genuine talent and a drive to succeed and be noticed, like Carol Burnett and Barbra Streisand and Barbara Stanwyck.

Yet I think there are some who have been driven less to be famous or more because they genuinely had talent and were noticed for it. If they had burning ambition, it was more to be good at what they did rather than for everyone to adore them. I would put into this group Meryl Streep, Julie Andrews, Jodie Foster, Sigourney Weaver, Margaret Sullavan, Gene Hackman, Allison Janney. They often had their own psychological problems, but they're not famewhores, nor do they seem the type who would have put out to become famous (like Crawford and Monroe did, and allegedly Bradley Cooper has done).

Reese Witherspoon - HBIC of the National League of Junior Cotillions.

I would be an actress

Zac Efron - sucking dick in parked cars for a bag of coke.

Oh, wait....

Madonna would be a whore and a karaoke singer. Oh, wait...

[quote]People don’t hire employees to pump gas anymore.

Get out of the basement. Some chain gas stations still have people who pump gas. And just about every non chain does too.

Sharon Stone would be the madam of Manhattan's most exclusive escort service, operating out of a townhouse on the Upper East Side.

Hahahahahaha. And Jennifer Lawrence would be in her stable, being willingly passed around by old fat pigs like a box of matches. Oh....ahem.

Emma stone would be a greenpeace activist.

"As a couple people pointed out above, celebrities are for the most part ambitious, hard working and narcissistic"

And ruthless. A celebrity who's clawed their way to the top of the heap and stayed there without extraordinary talent or looks is likely to have been successful in some other field. People like Reese Witherspoon, Julia Roberts, Bradley Cooper, Leo DiCaprio, or Matt Damon might not be millionaires, but they'd be top real estate agents or good salespeople turned business owners, or well up the corporate ladder.

Ben Afleck, on the other had, would be the embarrassing drunk old friend who's always calling head of Boston-Area Marketing Matt Damon, and demanding a job as good as the one he drank away.

[quote] As a couple people pointed out above, celebrities are for the most part ambitious, hard working and narcissistic. They would probably rise to the top of any profession they persued.

Does that include reality "stars?"

[quote] Colton Haynes - high priced rentboy

How's that different from now?

And R55? You are sooooooooooo shady!

R69, IMHO there's a big difference between flash-in-the-pans like reality TV stars, and those who've managed to claw their way to the top and stay at the top.

The Mama June's and Real Housewives fizzle out quickly and blow their money, because they never had the ability to do more than pump gas or work a cash register. But someone like Charlize Theron or even Brad Pitt, who clawed their way up from nowhere and have managed to stay at the top of the heap for decades... they might be successful in other fields. Although in Pitt's case, it'd be a field that didn't require much in the way of IQ points, like sales.

Streep would be a lesbian librarian

R9, I laughed my ass off at the photo of Madonna on the website.

I think posters are wrong about about Jennifer Aniston. She would have been lead salesperson in a head shop.

I could see Hugh Jackman as an early morning TV talk show host.

In Alice Springs, Australia.

Cher would have been a hostess at Dave & Busters & emceeing weekend drag shows at LA gay bars.

Kathy Griffin would be a Lancome makeup counter supervisor at Bloomingdales, living at home with her mother. Theyd have " who can get drunker faster" contests several times a week. The mom always wins. Kathy never marries & is eventually questioned by police in her mothers disappearance.

Streisand would have gotten a Masters in Social Work from Columbia & gone to work for NYCs Welfare Dept. She rises up the ranks until Giukiani becomes mayor, then moves to Ottawa in disgust.

Travolta becomes a top 70s underwear model & hits the Studio 54 glamour circuit. He blows his career on coke, but recovers when Warhol & Capote intervene. He ends up the part-owner of The Townhouse in Manhattan.

Rosie O never leaves Staten Island. She works for the Sanitation Dept, as head of Landfill Operations. She does stand up at a bar in New Dorp on weekends & her girlfriend is the barmaid. She eventually finds Z list stardom on My 600 Pound Life.

Agree r73. I see Jennifer Aniston as an aging shooter girl at a chain bar like Chili's. Think of Parker Posey in her episode of New Girl.

Emma Stone and her BFF JLaw would be rival beauty bloggers on YouTube. “Hey guys! So this week’s update is alllllllll about the fabulous new highlighter from Charlotte Tilbury...”

Who knows how many people I put out for in order to claw my way to the top?

Jennifer Aniston dad is on Days of our lives, so she would have eventually ended up on that after she’d begged him to pull strings. I don’t think she’s as ambitious as people think she is. She’s a notorious stoner which would have eventually killed her desire to go to audition after audition.

R45 nails it with the exception of Aniston.

Serious answer about Brad Pitt: he'd have gone to work at his dad's business and been a popular member of Springfield MO society, member of the Chamber and Shriners and probably even made a series of popular local commercials for a time. Married twice, 2-3 kids total.

I'm from the area and know several guys just as hot as him. That's how their lives all turned out.

Could we please agree here and now that Brad Pitt is really NOT that hot ? In fact not hot at all ? Hasn't been since thelma and louise ? Looks DUMB as fuck, almost retarded ? Had major hygiene issues ? Be real ? Please. Who's with me here ?

Reese Witherspoon would be a VP at Goldman Sachs or JP Morgan. She’d marry a hedge fund guy, have 2 kids and live in on the Upper East Side or Greenwich CT (+ summer home in the Hamptons). I don’t see her as the type who’d quit to become a housewife, she’s too ambitious for that.

I work in finance and see women like her everyday.

Tom Selleck would be in real estate. This would be after a tour in Vietnam. He'd still do local theater and commercials for awhile, always haunted that he never made it in the entertainment business. He'd get fatter, but still try to act like an athlete.

R45 I love you. Still laughing in total agreement about Cruise and Herbalife.

R84, I see the parallel universe iteration of Witherspoon in pharmaceutical sales and marrying a doctor, after which she retires and spends her free time as a mommy blogger. “I’m so blessed by my daughters Waverly and Ashleigh!”

Paint department at Home Depot. Don't ask any dumb questions.

Babs - cube frau Adam Levine - barber Bella Thorne - Hooters Nicole Kidman - drugstore attendant Donald Trump - whitegoods salesman Sandra Bullock - high school sports teacher Jonah Hill - Walmart

Bloody formatting. Sorry, let's try again

Babs - cube frau

Adam Levine - barber

Bella Thorne - Hooters

Nicole Kidman - drugstore attendant

Donald Trump - whitegoods salesman

Sandra Bullock - high school sports teacher

Jonah Hill - Walmart

I see Matt LeBanc as a mechanic at your local garage.

^^LeBlanc^^

[Quote] How's that different from now? And [R55]? You are sooooooooooo shady!

They're not the only one being shady.

[quote]Rosie O never leaves Staten Island

I thought she was from LONG Island.

Lara Flynn Boyle . . . Oh, Lara, the possibilities are endless -

If Arnold Schwarzenegger had never become a bodybuilder, he'd probably have been a policeman like his father. But because he's bright, ambitious, and amoral, he'd probably have moved up in the world and becomes the chief of police for an Austrian city, and had to retire early due to some nasty sex scandal.

Channing Tatum would have given up stripping and would have opened a bar where he attracts customers by dancing with anyone who's interested, he's still a terrific dancer. Divorced at least twice by now.

Charlie Sheen would have become a porn producer. When his embarrassed father cuts him off, he becomes a drug dealer and continues funding and even starring in porn. HIV positive and suspected in at least one murder case.

Kstew- unenthusiastic receptionist at chiropractic office on 32nd and Lexington

Hahaha R97 true.

Blanchett would be a high end wedding planner and home decorator. She would maintain a home in the Hamptons. Lots of subtle cosmetic surgery.

The John Stamos pumping gas reference is from a critic's review (I think in Rolling Stone) after Stamos hosted a tv tribute/special about Elvis featuring Priscilla and Lisa Marie. He was essentially asking why someone so untalented should be hosting a show about a legend like Elvis.

John Travolta - aging, closeted guido living in New Jersey. Runs a small shop that does okay, has a much younger boytoy whom he tells people he is "mentoring"

Gwynneth Paltrow would be a well-of Brentwood divorcee who opened a flower stall at the Brentwood County Mart as a way to meet her next husband. Hits on every man who buys bouquets from her, married or not.

Keanu Reeves, stoner dive master in Ventura.

Bruce Willis gave up bartending for car sales. Drinks too much to remember how many kids and ex-wives he has.

Jim Carrey. Homeless mentally ill man, came to the US and got caught in the horrible treat=em-and-street-em loop.

Benedict Cumberbatch - banker.

Adam Sandler - the funniest CPA on Long Island.

Kelly Ripa would run a dance studio in New Jersey. She would also be addicted to opiates.

Liberace would have been a cake decorator at Walmart.

Kathy Bates - saleswoman at JoAnn Fabrics

Pamela Anderson. Stripper / hooker. Oh wait...

[quote]I thought she was from LONG Island.

She missed the ferry.

Donald Trump would be a Chamber of Commerce executive director.

If it weren't for Britney, Justin would be driving school buses in Louisiana.

George Clooney, manager of a local TV station in Nashville or Cleveland. Tells his boyfriend he has to stay closeted because networking and socializing is such a big part of his job.

Harrison Ford, retired contractor.

Martin Freeman, mid-level accountant who fantasizes about committing a mass shooting.

Stevie Nicks - Consignment Shop owner

Lady Gaga as a tranny hoker

Colton Haynes as a escort

A. Jolie as a zombie

Katy Perry - embittered princess at Disneyland

R113 thats exactly who Katy Perry would be.

Allison Jannery - Figure Skater

At 22 Taylor Swift would have married a 30 year old banker or lawyer or doctor. She’d have a nice house in a wealthy suburb. She would dress up to pick her kids, Charlotte and Eddie, from school and the other mums would roll their eyes at her insistence on turning up in red lipstick and stilettos. She would hang with the bitchy clique moms who would bitch about her inability to dance and her husbands roving eye behind her back.

James Franco would be one of those guys who sells fake designer goods from the back of his trunk. Picture tracksuit pants, flip flops, white singlet, gold chains, cigarette dangling from corner of mouth and even greasier hair than usual. That, or a high school drama teacher who sleeps with all his female leads, their moms and sometimes their boyfriends.

I see James Franco as more the bar tender at a cool club where he hopes of meeting someone who can get him into showbiz. In his spare time he does off off off broadway shows, occasionally hires a warehouse to show off his shitty art installations and recites his awful poetry at seedy douchy hipster clubs where he desperately hopes he’ll be discovered. He fucks any hot young chick who are naive enough to be impressed by any of this crap.

Keanu Reeves - Motorcycle Mechanic

Emma Stone - Nurse

R41 Lol Chaturbate modeling should be a carrer in Colombia or Rumania

Rihanna would be an unemployed stoner. She’d have a hot thug boyfriend covered in really bad tatts who treats her like shit. She’d wear the same shit she wears now, but without the designer label, so instead of being called a fashionista people would ask why she insists on dressing like a $2 hooker.

Seth Rogan would either own a grow op or a store that sells bongs and only bongs. He'd go bankrupt in 15 mins and spend the rest of his life on disability and huffing weed all day.

Cristiano ronaldo as a male model linving in New York with his boyfriend and their dog

The Kardashian family would be running a group of nail salons that's a front for cartel money-laundering.

Kate Moss would be one of their nail girls.

Matthew Perry would be a skid row drunk.

The Kardashian girls would be ringing up my order at Zankou Chicken.

r125 WOULD be?

Colton Haynes would still be famous. "Rough gang bang cum dump bareback whore" @Pornhub

And luke evans too. 'Rogan and luke, bulldozered".

Stevie Nicks would be working at that store in the downtown area of town that sells crystals and metaphysical books. No one ever seems to be in there yet somehow they can pay her to sit there and listen to Yanni.

Hillary would be a history/geography teacher. She would organise travels abroad for her students and accompany them. She would take them to Rotterdam, where they would stay at the shittiest hostel. They would be forced to spend the entire days at the Van Gogh museum, but she would forbid them to spend their pocket money on water so they would have to do all their drinking at the hostel in the morning before leaving.. They wouldn't eat before 4 pm because there are many museums to see and little time, and food can wait. Then she would take them to the train station to get the cheapest roll from the vending machine and nothing else. They would absolutely loath her, and imagine ways to get back at her at night in the dorm, before wanking in their beds, pretending to think that the others don't notice.

Kate McKinnon would be a manager of an animal shelter.

[quote]Lara Flynn Boyle . . . Oh, Lara, the possibilities are endless -

Maybe a ballerina?

R133 she has the eating disorder needed to be a ballerina, but most of them aren’t drinking in their cars during the day.

R125 Matthew Perry comes from money. He wouldn’t be on skid row but he’d be living in Canada in his mother’s pool house. He’d use any inheritance money on drugs and booze. He’d be in and out of rehab paid for by his family.

Aniston would be the lady who gives out free samples of Aveeno, as she welcomes you to Walmart.

Lisa Kudrow would be a scientist working for a pharmaceutical company. Really, that's the career she left to pursue acting.