"Oh Blossom, you're So Beautiful!" Part II

Natalia "Skeletor" Dyer from Stranger Things

That thread is so stupid. Why would you complain about them putting hot guys on tv?

Ann Coulter, CPAC.

Ann Coulter, Fox News.

Meghan McCain, The View.

Bless her heart, but Jane the Virgin.

Most of the cast of crazy ex girlfriend. Half of them are always raving about how hot some other character is. I love that show, but they all look like average Joe’s.

Agreed on Matt LeBlanc. His beady little eyes completely ruled him out being a hottie. I could never enjoy his Joey shtick on Friends because of his distracting beady little eyes. He did have a hot body when he was young but only with a bag on the face.

I had a major crush on Matt LeBlanc, particularly during the first few seasons of Friends. He was hot.

Matt Le Blanc was pretty ok when he was a still model. He porked up when he was on friends and the started dressing him like a retiree from Florida. It was not at all attractive. I think he looks better now than he did in the last few seasons of friends.

Veronica on ‘Riverdale’.

R9, she’s gorgeous, Helen Keller.

Hot Jeff Bridges lusting after Glenn Close in Jagged Edge.

SPOILER But then he really was the killer and she was his defense lawyer so maybe it was all an act?

Bette Davis in All About Eve. She's called beautiful and sexy at different points and it always makes me laugh out loud.

Joey rockin’ his retiree look. Awful. Plus the back of his head is totally flat which I couldn’t stop looking at once I noticed.

[quote] There's no way Becky 1 could have landed Glenn Quinn on "Roseanne". Becky 2, sure, but not Becky 1.

[quote] Alicia Goranson *did* get really pretty.

This never happened.

I agree R1, Natalie’s anorexia is so evident it’s actually distracting.

“Does this make me look fat?”

“Not as much as the last one.”

You know she's anorexic because she's so BONY, which doesn't happen when you're naturally, and healthily, thin.

And her head looks huge.

Emily Blount; DM is always going on about the beautiful Emily Blount... I. Do. Not. Think. So.

Emily Valentine on 90210. Not attractive at all yet has Steve, Dylan and Brandon pining for her affection?

And then Brooke has Steven and Brandon fighting?

I know the actors in were in their 30s but they didn't have cataracts yet.

I agree Matt LeBlanc porked up when he was on Friends, but he was stunning when he was in his mid 20s.

I feel guilty about laughing at this mean thread.

New here R22?

I am not new but I still feel guilty for some reason.

Fran Drescher, "The Nanny"

Judith Light, "Who's the Boss?" (a superb actress, but not a beauty)

This extremely cruel SNL skit still gives me great joy.

I thought Fran Drescher was pretty r25. Her voice was horrid but her face was nice.

Ellen Pompeo looks like she should be selling cold sore medicine.

Absolutely agree with poster from previous thread about Jane Krakowski. Totally fug.

I think Chandra Wilson having all those hot guys fall for her on Grey's Anatomy is far more unrealistic than in Ellen Pompeo's case. Although I think most of the women on the show are rather plain.

Fran is or was gorgeous IMO.

Agree about Who’s the Boss? Judith Light certainly is not an unattractive woman, but the bizarre unnaturally bleached hair with black roots and Pilgrim dresses they put her in for that show were horrid, and after they did that they scripted the show as if she were some sort of beauty queen. Really bizarre. My whole family used to talk about that cognitive dissonance while we watched the show.

I’ll say the most obvious: Blanche Devereaux. Sorry, but ya are, Blanche, ya are less of a catch than Rose!

Fran Drescher isn’t a typical generic blonde Hollywood pretty girl, but I think she was beautiful. Don’t know where R25 is coming from with that one.

Speaking of Who’s the Boss and Blanche Devereaux, this is the only actress I can imagine possibly having made the Blanche role as classic as Rue M did.

R12 You miss the point about Bette Davis in All About Eve. Margo Channing is depressed that she's lost her physical allure, and is only called beautiful and sexy by her lover and friends to give her a lift. Everyone knows the clock is ticking.

The Nanny was very attractive, and she had a body to die fah.

Fran still looks great and if she's had work, it's minimal.

I’m guessing the person who said Fran is unattractive thinks she is “too ethnic looking” to be considered attractive. She was really pretty and charming. The voice is something else entirely, but she smartly used it to overcome the problem some beautiful women have of not being seen as funny because they’re too hot.

Marcia Fucking Brady owns this thread.

Katherine Helmond on WTB? was suppose to be some sex machine fucking hot guys.

Riiiiight.

Helmond had a nice rack, I’ll give that to her.

[quote]I’ll say the most obvious: Blanche Devereaux. Sorry, but ya are, Blanche, ya are less of a catch than Rose!

That was part of the joke.

Sondra & Denis Huxtable

Kimberly Drummond

Most of the Bradford girls

Samantha Kanisky

Those vile Olsen twins. They look like Keane paintings. TG they are rich enough to get men.

R42 I know that is not supposed to say “Denise Huxtable.” I had a legitimate crush on Lisa Bonet, and she is a legitimately breathtaking beauty.

Yeah, Lisa Bonet was gorgeous

And Kimberly Drummond/Dana Plato was very pretty, too. To suggest she is “Blossom” caliber lookswise suggests you should have your vision checked.

In the (hilariously campy) movie Female on the Beach, one character addresses Joan Crawford's character as "young lady" even though she was 50ish at the time. It made me laugh my ass off - Joan was an attractive woman but there is no way in hell anyone would have confused her with some dewy ingenue at that point in her life.

“Joan was an attractive woman but there is no way in hell anyone would have confused her with some dewy ingenue at that point in her life.”

People’s livelihoods DEPENDED on confusing her with a dewy ingenue!

[Quote] I think Chandra Wilson having all those hot guys fall for her on Grey's Anatomy is far more unrealistic than in Ellen Pompeo's case.

Because ugly guys never get the hot girl in movies/tv shows.

This dynamic is also true of the Barbra Streisand characters in "The Mirror Has Two Faces" (post-makeover) and "Prince of Tides."

Streisand in "Nuts"

Female on the Beach is wonderful- and Mrs. Howell too!

I'll just leave this here for R46

R53 She was very pretty. The only thing unattractive about that is 1980s styling.

I got a new flat screen TV and I noticed that they dyed Joey's hair shoe polish black in the last season. It looked like a toupee.

Like she is supposed to be some kind of classic beauty?

Yeah, right! (rolls eyes)

Mrs. Herbert Yates, Vera Hruba Ralston owns this thread!

Agree r9, she's so weird looking I find her unwatchable at times. Ditto the Stranger Things girl. She also has the anorexia fur on her face that is noticeable in close ups.

SJP and Jennifer Aniston obviously win this thread.

And hygggh

2 threads and no Lens? I've not watched Girls so I don't know if people are calling her beautiful but there's no way Lens in real life is scoring Patrick Wilson dick.

OP Only the younger brother Joey Lawrence was the pretty one among the siblings.

R61 Yes, but he was stupid.

What are the chances Joey Lawrence and his brothers aren’t in the Corey Feldman club?

Was it ever proved that Joey posted here from time to time?

That’s ridiculous, R64.

An oldie but a goodie:

Neela on ER managed to entice four of the series regulars including John Stamos.

R60 I don’t think she was ever called beautiful, she doesn’t fit this category.

[quote]Neela on ER managed to entice four of the series regulars including John Stamos.

Speaking of which, that cunt Julie Bowen had a short story arc in one of the early seasons of ER as a sales rep or something and the men couldn't stop talking about how hot she was, and all I wanted to do was shoot my TV when she was onscreen.

Julie Bowen must be 106 years old. She has been on every tv show since 1923. For a vaguely attractive woman she’s worked very regularly.

[quote]Agree about Who’s the Boss? Judith Light certainly is not an unattractive woman, but the bizarre unnaturally bleached hair with black roots and Pilgrim dresses they put her in for that show were horrid, and after they did that they scripted the show as if she were some sort of beauty queen. Really bizarre. My whole family used to talk about that cognitive dissonance while we watched the show.

I hated Who's The Boss but I thought Light was sensational as the Judge on SVU.

Angela Bower was always upstaged by her enormous glasses and turtlenecks

Love this thread!

Was Angela Bower considered attractive? Didn’t her mother pick on her looks all the time?

R74, Angela had to be considered somewhat attractive since Tony was hot for her and he was HAF.

Oh ay, ay oh! Of course Angela was hot!

Gabrielle Carteris on 90210. Pursued by Ian Zeiring, Jason Priestly, Andy Hirsch, Brian Krause. She also broke off a piece of a Kit Kat bar and and got knocked up with some dulce de leche. Riiiiiight.

The teen daughter on Ray Donovan. The teen daughter on Ozark.

When did Steve pursue AAAnndrea?????

Gone, and largely forgotten, but the basic premise of her show was that men wanted her, women wanted to be her.

Umm...

R79, during Brenda's breast cancer scare episode the first season, the rest of the gang were worrying about SATs. Steve and Ondrea were studying in his room and he kissed her and tried to get it on. They had moments here and there after that too.

Surprised Judith Light is being mentioned. I always thought she was good looking, although the show (WTB) tried to make her into a neurotic shrew.

But seriously, just go to daytime television in the 70s/80s, before they started hiring models to play every role. I remember being floored when I found out Emily McLaughlin (Jessie Brewer, GH) was a main character considered sexy and getting action in the 60s and 70s.

The other thread mentioned Victoria Wyndham (yes!) and Kim Zimmer (yes! yes!), and I'd through in Lisa Brown, Helen Gallagher, Ilene Kristen, Erika Slezak, Martha Byrne, Jackie Zeman. Some of them were interesting looking, with a lot of character in their face, but I wouldn't describe them as beautiful. (I could list a bunch of the men who weren't handsome, too, for fair measure.

Jackie Zeman was an actress first and foremost, she never cared about her looks, with Jackie it's always about the performance.

Hi Jackie’s mom!

Jackie was more of a trussed up floozie with slutty clothes and a lot of make-up than a natural beauty. This is probably the best she ever looked with looking like a tart.

I was prettier than Jackie and Genie, y’know.

And now I’m dead.

Ugly bump

Is that Rick Springfield r85? He was my first crush. I remember seeing a picture of him and thinking he was the best looking person I’d ever seen. I was 5.

Puh-leeze. I've seen Jackie pose for pics with her tits and minge out. It's much darker red.

Tori Spelling. That dude who beat her was much prettier than she ever was in, Mother May I Sleep With Danger.

She was always touted as beautiful. It's hilarious to see her as a "beautiful" girl in that cheerleader movie too.

In what universe was Tori ever touted as beautiful? Even with all the surgeries, she is barely average.

R90's picture must be the most unflattering picture I've seen of Tori and the hair has nothing to do with it.

When your father's the boss, R91 you're the most beautiful girl in the world.

Whatever happened to Beverley Mitchell? There aren't many women of her generation named "Beverley," but I have to say she lived up to the name,

She has a new series, r94...I saw a promo for it recently.

I think one of the Full House girls is in it too. So you know it’s going to be a high quality show.

Rashida Jones on Parks and Rec.

Because these threads have included movie actresses: Maggie G (Jake's sister) in that BATMAN movie where she took over from Katie Holmes. The Joker called her "beautiful" (he may have even added a "very"!) during the high society party scene and my mouth dropped open at the theater. I may have snorted while attempting to choke back laughter.

You rang, R93?

[quote]The Joker called her "beautiful" (he may have even added a "very"!) during the high society party scene

Well, he [italic]was[/italic] The Joker.

R60 no Lena was not supposed to be hot on girls. In the very first episode she asked her BFF played by Williams what it was like to be worshiped by your boyfriend. The fact that her friends were hotter and thus cut more slack by the rest of the world was always a factor on the show. She was envious of her friends and fascinated by what it would be like to be as pretty as they were, She got guys because she was very sexually open and available. Straight guys are easy.

Rashida Jones is gorgeous, she does not belong on this thread.

I agree r101. Rashida Jones is very attractive.

r94 r95 Christine Lakin from "Step by Step" is on it too, she's the best looking one. It's not a bad show actually, I binged it. I'd like to add Jennie Garth, I mean, come on, she was supposed to be the hottest chick in Beverly Hills? No way.

It's funny people keep bringing up OG 90210, because I remember watching when it was on and being irritated at how ugly everyone was. Brandon was okay but he had that dumb hair.

I thought Brandon was hot, maybe I was alone.

I fancied Steve for a very short time. I didn't really watch the show (maybe the odd scene alongside some school mates) but, for some reason, I could picture myself being his lover lol

In retrospect, though, none of them were very attractive.

Steve looked ridiculous with that mullet. Mr. Walsh was a hairy beast.

The dumbest part was how pale they all were, especially Kelly, it was ridiculous that one of the opening credits had her on a chaise lounge, like she had every been in the sun! Growing up a beach bunny type in San Diego, no one looked like that in So Cal. She was like the Minnesotan.

Sara Jessica Parker Jane the virgin Gina. She is fat and cross eyed.

Speaking of.... blossom

This thread reminds me of all the threads on DL about the way vagine looks.

Same idea - we are meant to celebrate something we all know is not so pretty.

Tony Geary - was was Luke and Laura so popular? Was it his hair-do?

Why, that is?

r111 Laura wasn't that great either, as someone who watched a soap with an actual gorgeous couple, I never understood their appeal.

Charlie Sheen.

I suppose with some of the female characters, we can say "straight guys are easy, they'll fuck any girl they have a shot with", but straight girls are NOT easy, especially attractive ones. In two and a half men, he has a new woman every day. Yes he's rich, but women typically sleep with rich men to form relationships to get something out of them... not to have a one night stand and be done with it. He is slimy and gross.

Molly Ringwald. Can't believe she was offered Pretty Woman.

R97 Yeah, Maggie Gyllenhaal’s gorgeous brother + being a submissive slut in Secretary sure seem to have cast a spell over Hollywood’s perception of her appearance. She’s an odd looking woman, which I think has served her well since she has played interesting characters even as she has been advertised as sexy.

Jake on the other hand...Jesus. One of my straight friends who I had a crush on made the mistake of telling me Jake G is hot. Because he just is. I misinterpreted that remark as some sort of signal from my friend, when he was really just basically saying, “even though I am totally straight, yeah, no fucking way I could deny Jake is sexy.” Sigh.

Peggy on Mad Men. Don’s niece on Mad Men.

Peggy wasn't supposed to be a knockout.

Julianna Margulies on the Good Wife.

R119 I don't mind her on The Good Wife. I thought she was quite unfortunate looking on ER though.

Her look was appropriately toned down for ER.

Michael Douglas headlining in the 1980s. How did that man get cast as a heartthrob movie star? He’s a fine actor, but he is barely hotter than Mayim Bialik. I just saw Fatal Attraction and was like wtf Glenn Close; if you’re going to go to all that trouble, at least stalk Patrick Swayze or some other passable 80s movie star. Friggin Michael Douglas!

Michael Douglas was hot until the mid-80s when he hit his 40s and shaved off the beard. he was sex on a stick in The China Syndrome and It's My Turn.

I thought Douglas was hot in Basic Instinct in the early 90s. I still would have fucked him.

[quote]Peggy on Mad Men.

Wtf show were *you* watching?

R122 I never saw the appeal of Michael Douglas either, but take a good look at Patrick Swayze he wasn’t much better. He had a great body but a face like a slapped ass.

Michael Douglas looked like shit in Basic Instinct. I remember all the jokes at the time about his saggy butt

Keep in mind that off screen, Emily McLaughlin somehow managed to become the last wife of the ever gorgeous Jeffrey Hunter. You know, right before he took a header on the steps.

[quote] Michael Douglas looked like shit in Basic Instinct. I remember all the jokes at the time about his saggy butt

Actually, I think the jokes were about his saggy ass in Fatal Attraction and they were so nasty that he had a butt double for Basic Instinct.

Even past his prime, Jeffrey Hunter was hot enough to be able to score better trim than the chinless wonder that is Nurse Jessie Brewer.

On Merlin, we are supposed to believe Bradley James' character (Prince / King Arthur) was lusting after Angel Coulby (Guinevere) for years and years. He risked his life & made countless sacrifices all for his one true love...

This isn't a racial thing... just look at her face. Plus they never got her hair right & they couldn't wear too much makeup in that era. But still... gurl if you can get Bradley James then what can I get??

And to remind you of Prince Arthur / Bradley James

The biggest howler.... the media constantly hyping how beautiful Michele Obama is.

r133 probably thinks Trump is the best looking guy in the world.