Are there any true functioning alcoholics here?

I knock back 2-3 each night, and typically have 1/2 in the morning before work. I have no super detrimental physical symptoms yet, although I’m a fat fuck. I also have to eat until I’m full (ie fat & happy), so I’m ballooning. I wish I could just drink my meals like rich women.

Two or three beers or wines, R1?

That's not a lot at all. You're not an alcoholic.

Most straight guys will knock back an entire six-pack after work, then go back in the next day no problem.

What do you mean by a “functioning alcoholic “, Op? Truly, the whole concept is debatable, and i am basing this only on what I read here.

It's a story self-deluded people like to tell themselves.

R2: Did you miss the part R1 mentioned about morning drinking?

I broke my ankle/leg five years ago. To support the recovery process, I surrendered (sacrificed) my nightly, preciously chilled Sauvignon Blanc (1.5 liters) for low-calorie, extra-light beer. Though the switching of my beverage of choice resulted in my pissing like a racehorse, I lost 25 pounds in the process.

The rubber on the wheelchair's wheels are now a mere nub.

My dad was a functioning alcoholic. Drank beer all day every day. He stopped for a while but started back up a few years later. His marriage to my step-mother was a disaster, and that's where it got bad but no matter how bad that got he never missed a day of work, never got a DUI or anything like that. I have no idea how he managed that, but he did. He was never the falling down drunk type despite the constant drinking. I guess it was because he started so young he built up a tolerance. The step-mother is dead now so there is no one to fight with so it's really not an issue, as weird as that sounds because it doesn't seem to interfere with anything in his life.

Work from home Get liver checked regularly Eat healthy Lots of water 50 and 6-7/night for 5x a week Hate mornings but always have Gets me thru miserable job knowing I can be at bar by 6

How much do you drink?

Are people currently drunk on this thread? What is “50 and 6-7?”

Exactly, R10.

How in the hell people could drink during the day is beyond me. Alcohol, even the thought of it, makes me ill. When I was younger and drank it always gave me a headache and I have migraines so I live in fear of triggering one. No way it is worth it.

I think I know an R8.

My mean drunk father would drink and rage into 1-4 a.m. hours but still got up at 6 a.m. to work in construction every day. In Florida. Dead in mid 40's from melanoma.

My dad is one. Addicted to alcohol, drank beer every afternoon for the most of his life and a lot of vodla over the weekends, yet was able to hold down a job for 40 years and has never gotten a DUI. He's now retired and drinks more than ever. Thank god I moved out.

vodka*

I don’t understand the post at r8. 6-7 what? Beers?

Started drinking at 21 and continued drinking heavily every day for forty years. I was definitely a functioning alcoholic; I got through life just fine providing I had alcohol in my system. Went through outpatient rehab several times but I couldn't stand the people, and wouldn't do any other kind of rehab. Never been confronted about it by anyone, which is strange in a way, but I guess people just figured I was okay. And they were right for the longest time.

About eight months ago my health took a hit (edema, really bad headaches, scary shortness of breath, etc) so I stopped drinking. I've lost about forty pounds, no more swelling, no more headaches. I've become a vegan. It isn't easy getting through life without booze, but it's so much better.

There’s nothing fascinating about having functioning alcoholics in the family. They’ve managed to cheat death for decades, and contribute nothing to the world. Work is just a means to buy alcohol. Children are raised to be mommy or daddy’s driver or binge buddy. I can’t tell you how many times children were left in the car outside a bar for HOURS til parents were ready to go home.

I have a friend who is one, but he seems to have switched his addiction to his phone.

R8 here - sorry - to clarify. 50 years old, 6-7 drinks per night, 5-6 times per week. Never interfered with life - though in sporadic dry periods, i noticed it does have an overall depressing effect. But the camaraderie and social life of the bar - and the temporary relief from the misery of corporate slavery are a nice thing to have in these dark times.

All of the above seems to describe most everyone in the UK and the whole pub/bevy culture.

Heavy drinker for years -- a pint of vodka or more per night. The drinking was not the problem -- the hangovers were. Have stopped with the help of Antabuse. Life is not that much improved, disappointingly, but at least I have one less challenge/hindrance to deal with and I do look a little better. My family worries less too.

Circulation and liver are fine. Don't know how the hell I pulled that off.

My mum spent decades drinking a bottle of sherry a night until her doctor prescribed her antidepressants last year. He told her not to drink alcohol and she stopped just like that. She smokes a lot more now though.

Admirable. My drinking increased on anti-depressants.

R21 - it does seem that it’s much more a norm in UK to stop at pub on way home from work for a few pints. I know the Daily Mail has been pushing anti-alcohol stories for a while, but it does seem that is very much a British way of life.

Maybe it’s the Puritanism of US, but it seems like more than 2 glasses of WINE with dinner is considered alcoholic here. Went from Mad Men to helicopter parenting in a generation. As a single gay man, I choose to have a life that includes drinks after work - as long as I’m working hard and bringing home a paycheck and not doing excessive damage to my body, seems like a valid alternative to coming home and watching sitcoms/tv for 3 hours by myself and getting up to do the grind again.

A gallon of whiskey or vodka or tequila every week to ten days for a decade. On weekends started drinking upon wakening. Hungover EVERY day BIGLY. High functioning at job regardless ,won accolades until I didn't. The last 5 years were a real push as I became a "problem" employee, threatened with termination, etc. they agreed to me work from home. They did not completely realize alcohol was the driving factor or at least they did not say so.. Well then I started drinking on the job(at home). So I finally went to detox and go to AA and now am successfully retired after 25 years with same company (a MIRACLE), financially stable and sober 4 years. R13 I would stay up smashed until 2am and get up at 6am . it was simply awful. I didn't rage , though , at least not often. Many people who drank like I did end up with nothing, life ruined. But by the grace of god.

R26, why the difficulty during your last year’s of working onsite? Was it tardiness? Did you let due dates slip?

Been drinking for 10 years now. It’s the only escape I get from life. I only drink in the evenings and never before driving or work. If it kills me, it kills me. I’m a terrible person when I’m sober.

You're probably more decent than you realize, R28.

What is your drink of choice?

I lurves Moi some icy cold grey goose, a tad dirty.

R27 I deservedly chewed out a vendor( but ...their CFO was golfing buddy with our CFO) , got sassy with incompetent boss and then they imported all these new(old) fraus to accommodate growth, They thought that the lack of organization and everything being fucked up was setup that way just to satisfy my perceived territorialism, which it wasn't. Just a complete hands off manager with no operating procedures in place. When asked, I told one new gal to just "wing it" like I do. That went down well! Anyhoo I survived, barely. NO tardiness or sick days, even w/hangover.

I’m on my 5th Johnny Red+Sprite Zero and getting anxious reading this thread. Back to tiaras (tiarae?) for me!

Congrats R26 on sticking it out and making it to retirement intact.

I feel like I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get me through the next 5 years of this hellish job. And if a few drinks after work in a bar (I never drink at home) get me though this misery, it’s worth it. I do feel like if I start drinking during work, or missing work because of it - I may have to reconsider. But right now, it’s getting me through the middle-aged disillusionment and the acceptance that the fun times are over and now I just need to keep the body and money moving. While trying to grab a few moments of happiness along the way.

No such thing.

By today's standards I'm an alcoholic: 60 years old, drink at least 4 cocktails per night (5PM), then wine w/dinner.

Why do I? Besides liking the taste and liking being buzzed, it's good for pain. Why do I have pain? You'll find out when you're 60.

Pain from your throbbing penis needing twink hole, R35?

I think people confuse the term functioning with “just getting by”. As someone who has worked with “functioning” alcoholics on and off for decades there are two types.

To me being a functioning alcoholic means no area of your life is impacted. It’s perfectly possible to drink 6 beers a night, get up, early and go to work. I’ve seen people do it. They suffer through the first few hours of the day but it doesn’t linger most of the day and they can do their job. I can’t imagine waking up every morning hungover and in a bad mood mood but they seem to be “functioning” for the most part.

On the other hand the guys drinking 6-7 wines or spirits each night think turning up to work at all is “functioning”. Doing their job just well enough not to be fired is “functioning”. Being cold or seething with barely disguised rage until around 3pm when they cheer up as the hangover wears off and they start looking forward to drinking again is a nightmare to work with, but of course they have no idea. They’re “functioning” apparently and no one can tell according to them. They think because they’re polite (or as polite as they can muster) that’ll do.

So they keep their job, but they’re not really functioning they’re just doing enough not to get fired and they think no one knows. Their home lives are a wreck so that’s not really being “functional” either, but as long as they get up at 6 and go to work each day they can tell themselves it’s all fine.

I think a lot of actors/actresses are functioning drunks.

I can’t imagine being attractive, worth millions and still drinking. I like to think that I would just hike up Runyon Canyon (shirtless) with my equally attractive actor friends and then go home and masturbate in the mirror to how hot I am. Then maybe buy a car?

My parents would probably be considered alcoholics by today’s standards, although we never thought so. Mother greeted Daddy every evening after work with a cocktail before dinner. Mother would enjoy a white wine spritzer. Daddy would usually have another cocktail with dinner, then brandy after dinner.

Everyone had a bar at home and offering someone a drink when you came to visit was considered good manners. I think people were happier and more congenial when everyone smoked and drank.

Oh god, home bars used to be so hideous. The tufted leather or paneling is hard not to cringe at now. I keep my guests entertained now with just a small discreet cart. I think I’ll make a G&T. Do continue with the thread...

Whereupon enter the "true functioning alcoholics."

They weren’t alcoholics r40, if that’s all they drank through the course of an evening. Your mother in particularly only had one drink, unless she was drinking her spritzer out of a bucket she was hardly an alcoholic.

^^in particular

Alcoholism has nothing to do with a specific quantity of beverages consumed

It can.

Well, communion wine doesn’t create alcoholics, R45.

Actually, r47, that's where I got my start.

But that’s different than implying there is a magic number where you cross a threshold

It’s unique to each individual

You may only have one cocktail a day, but it’s a problem if it’s consumed at 8 am as the only way you can make it through a tough point in your day

If Madge needs a spritzer to make it through does her with the fam, she may be alcoholic

^make it through dinner

My second sponsor insisted that if one could make it through the day on only two drinks, one was NOT an alcoholic.

Smoke copious amounts of pot instead, you silly drunks.

Yes, trade addictions.

R28 and R35, I am just sending you good vibes. Especially R28, saying he is a HORRIBLE person when sober? The fact that you even say that, means that you have the potential to be a good person.

I have NO ONE. Not a parent, not a brother, not a sister. Not even a cousin. And I am 41.

I am so grateful and thankful that I found some kind of spiritual path to help me through this world, Especially now.

You are all beings who were brought here for a reason. Not to drink to erase your very essence!

I wish you all peace and the ability to see how worthy you all are. No one should need to drink 5 drinks a night,

You all deserve more than you know.

R45 how many alcoholics are having one drink at 8am and nothing else? It wouldn’t impact them at all so why bother if 10 more drinks weren’t following it. Nor are they having just one drink with dinner and nothing else. One white wine with dinner wouldn’t even make you mildly drunk or even a touch buzzed. It wouldn’t impact your health or your mood or relationships. To suggest that one drink with dinner makes someone an alcoholic is really stretching the definition of alcoholic.

R55 raises food discussion points. I drink so much because I’m nihilistic. I don’t particularly care to live into old age or have any real hope for the world. I’ve listened to the most beautiful music and slept with the most beautiful people (that I can afford). I’ve peaked.

I used to work in manufacturing. I have worked with functioning alcoholics. Some of the guys would have to drink a little bit of liquor at work. They weren't drinking to get drunk. They were drinking to prevent them from going into withdrawl

*good discussion points

Lol

I drink morning, noon and night. I still look fabulous.

I would hate to be working with someone like R26.

Glad you are sober, R26, but working with you could not have been a picnic.

Which actors/actresses are drunks?

R56:

My ultimate point is that I think the psychological reasons behind having a drink are critical to the overall analysis of alcoholism or healthy drinking. It’s just as important as the raw number of drinks consumed.

What fascinates me are the weekend warriors. Those who are sober as a judge from Monday morning until Friday afternoon and then behave as though on spring break from Friday night until the new cycle begins Monday morning.

Those types seem the hardest to diagnose.

R57- You have peaked because you have slept with beautiful people and listened to beautiful music???

DO you understand the ABSURDITY Of that?? That is offensive.

You have NOT Peaked! You think that you brought here to fuck beautiful men?????

Every addict I have known drinks or drugs to hide and heal pain. That is it. Every. Single. One.

A good friend of mine, a beautiful woman, died at the age of 38 of alcoholism.

Guys. Wake the fuck up!

You need to see the beauty of life and of yourselves.

R63- Interesting point. A good friend of mine was a weekend warrior. Drank 32 beers! 32!! Every Friday night.

I ended the friendship when I realized he only wanted to have a friend while completely obliterated.

Really cool that you bring this up.

They’re alcoholics r63, theyre MO is different from the streotype alcoholic but since they feel they have to drink every weekend they’re still alcoholic. And in fact a guy who drinks like that is doing more damage to themselves than the guy having 4 beers every night.

I've known my share of drunks who considered themselves high-functioning -- they seemed to have no idea that everyone thought they were a mess and difficult to deal with.

One of my former boyfriends was a weekend warrior drunk just like r63 describes. He turned into the meanest mofo when he drank and I was so elated when I finally gathered enough self esteem and broke up with him. I recently learned he still drinks and is now a judge.

900+ days sober and I did it by myself, none of that 12 step AA bullshit had anything to do with it. I didn’t need a fucking higher power.

R69. Who do you think gave you the strength to do that ,bitch!??

I am so happy for you though. YOU should be very proud.

It was probably easier to hide alcoholism back when most people worked 9-to-5 jobs. Now that employers expect employees to be on-call 24/7, even weekend warriors are likely to be found out.

(And you are fantastic, R69!)

That’s fantastic r69. Good on you. Hopefully other people read that and think it’s possible too.

R70 why don’t you just churn out a line of motivational mugs instead of preaching to us. R69 told us how he gave up alcohol. It’s really obnoxious to tell him that’s not true and you know better.

My alcoholism is directly related to heredity, coupled with childhood trauma (abuse, poverty, foster homes, and other lovely experiences of the like).

Yes, I admit, every evening upon returning home (management, tech industry), I love the sip of a cool, glorious sip, many, many sips. It cuts the care, thank god. Then I get up and do it all over again.

I am 'The Perfect Employee.' Do not ask me personal questions, ever. In addition to such being none of your business, you are not to get too close to me.

Now that I'm an adult, I am a Perfectionist. It's how I survive. My therapist said this is a symptom of psychological trauma; it's my way of now being powerful enough to make 'wrong' things 'right' . . . but then there's that damn bottle, which unfailingly cuts the care.

R64, what else is there?

"cuts the care"?

I think he means cuts the ability to care about anything or anyone r75

[quote][R69]. Who do you think gave you the strength to do that ,bitch!??

Me, fundie asswipe. That’s who. There’s no god and no higher power. In fact the majority of my drunk years were when I was a “Christian.”

Where was my Messiah then, R70?

R69 I don’t know if you’ve ever lived with a mean drunk, but it was miserable for me. I realized I deserved more and I left. I’m no fundie.

My ex had no childhood trauma r64. He would be the first to tell you that all childhoods should be like his. In fact, I was the one with the trauma and I don’t drink. But he has alcoholics on his mothers side going back several generations. Every second person on that side of his family is a drunk. He said from the first night he drank he knew he loved alcohol. He genuinely believes it triggered the alcohol addiction gene he has and he spent the following decade drunk every weekend and some weekdays. It fractured his relationships with his family and with me. We didn’t last long after we met when I worked out how serious the problem was. He did show up to work every day however, so according to this thread he was functioning.

And then one day he woke up in a strangers house, alone, without his phone or wallet and no idea where he was or how to get home. By the time he was able to find his way home he’d missed a flight to his friends 30th birthday party.

He gave up drinking after that. Said he looked at his life and thought there had to be more than bring obliterated or looking forward to being obliterated for the rest of his days. He’s fallen off the wagon a couple times since then but those periods were apparently short. His career took too I’ve heard. So I guess he went from functioning to thriving.

Who cares. r79? Have a drink!

An alcoholic is someone whose life gets better when they quit drinking.

So....one must do the math for one's self.

William Holden and Paul Newman were functioning alcoholics. Holden killed someone drunk driving I believe, and died from a drunken fall. Newman messed up his directing career because he was too fucked up most of the time.

Some posters here seen to think holding down a job means they are functioning. How are your relationships? Do you socialize or isolate? How is your health and appearance? Do you get much joy out of life (other than booze)?

The stuff you are asking about R83 goes beyond "functioning". That stuff is more a part of thriving. I take "functioning" to mean being able to do kinda the minimum as a functioning member of society-holding down a job and staying out of trouble with the law is a big part of that. A lot of people who don't have a problem with alcohol have issues with the stuff you are talking about.

I talked about my dad in a reply above. In addition to never missing work and never getting a DUI etc., he still did things around the house on the weekend, kept us fed, took us places, made sure we celebrated holidays etc. and all of that like any other dad. He did get abusive but it was a horrible dynamic pretty much only directed at my step-mother, who also was an alcoholic. It was pretty horrible when they fought, for sure. She was not functioning. She couldn't hold down a job, wrecked a number of cars while driving drunk/got DUIs and the whole deal. So I've seen both sided of it and there was a definite difference.

I’ve never heard Paul Newman accused of being an alcoholic r82.

Since William Holden killed someone and died when he was drunk and fell down and hit his head I wouldn't exactly call him "functioning."

[quote] I’ve never heard Paul Newman accused of being an alcoholic

He drank a case of beer a day

More about Paul that a lot of people don't know about

R82 is confused

damn, i have a few beers on friday nights, feel like ass on saturday mornings, and wondered whether i was an alcoholic in the process. you bitches make me feel like pollyanna.

What’s a few beers r90? 3 or 33?

i accidentally had 5 last night, r91, but it was blood orange shock top which i love. usually 2 or 3, and only on friday evenings.

Lotas of people knock back two fifths a day no problem. Gore Vidal drank like a fish. He was an asshole but he was an asshole anyway. Paul Newman was a total alcoholic and lived very long.

R77 Dry drunk.

There's no such thing, R77.

Dearest man in my life was a functioning alcoholic. When we met I didn't drink much, but then began matching him cocktail for cocktail, then we'd split a bottle or two of wine with dinner - he was raised, in the '60s-70s around this social custom. Anyhow, the next mornings I would awake feeling like crap, but he could function much better. It reached a point where I realized, WTF, I PAY to feel like this the next day? So I stopped.

Meanwhile he got worse, to the point of a 750ml bottle of vodka a day, and when told he was an alkie for drinking that much "spirits" he switched to wine: a 3 liter box of red wine a day. All fine until he was in his mid fifties, when he dropped dead, with no warning - alcoholic ketoacidosis. Blood alcohol at time of death was only 0.06.

I hear about diabetic ketoacidosis on TV ads all the time, so this was familiar in a way but a new one for me. Apparently it is very common amongst drunks, beware lushes, keep your body hydrated and fed. Easily treated if aware, which my friend wasn't and he was unfortunately alone. He had good healthy eating habits and was a bit of an outdoorsman, but due to depression I guess he got lazy about eating and then things quickly got out of wack. Sudden, ugly way to pass.

Oy - all the finessing of words and numbers. I always think -you know when you are. When it controls you and you can’t just have a drink without another. Some people choose to do something about it - others don’t. AA works for some, others go cold turkey. The righteousness and judgment are more annoying than the babbling drunk at the bar -or the annoying hungover guy at work. Just live your life -I’ll live mine. And don’t get involved with an addict. It’s their ride to take wherever it ends up.

Dear R57, you are me, and I am you. Cheers!

I think that R81 nailed it.

agree -nihilism has a lot to do with it. Andrew Sullivan did a NY Mag piece on the opiate crisis and I think it hit on a lot of the same issues that are creating the opiate crisis. No religion, the pointlessness and suffering - why not check out with drugs/alcohol. Solution may be to find meaning -if you want. Or just live for the momentary pleasure -if it outweighs the pain.

Homer Simpson said it the best - “Ah beer! The solution to and cause of all of life’s problems”

R85, that was the big revelation about Newman after his death. We knew he drank all of that beer, starting in the am, but the scotch came after. He literally drank all day.

Some posters are dead on about the angry, nervous so-called functioning boozers. They remind me of the closet cases of my youth -- they thought no one saw through them, but everyone knew exactly what their secret was.

"Are there any true functioning alcoholics here?"

Do Drinkie-poos count?

I drink anywhere from 4-6 Jack & Cokes a night. As R1 mentioned, I'm also quite heavy. I switched to Jack & soda water a few months ago to see if it makes a difference (I just can't drink diet Coke/Pepsi - I can't stand it).

I work from home so there is no real issues about getting to work on time. I've had two DUI's so I don't really go out a lot anymore (just terrified about a 3rd).

My drinking TOTALLY caused issues with work when I was younger (and had to go into an office every day), and some significant financial issues. Most people don't have to do the math, but if you go out drinking (to a bar) 4-5 nights a week and you have a high tolerance, you are looking at $200 a week, plus the bad (and expensive) fast food that comes with it (I wasn't cooking at home after staying out till 11:00 - I'd get McDonalds/Taco Bell, local places).

For a long time my family couldn't understand why I was so broke all the time.

I've mellowed out a bit, but 4-6 a night is still a lot (and I'm still fat), so we will see.

How much booze is 4-5 Jacks? A fifth?

If he’s doing it right

R103, what do you do for a living that allows you to work from home and support yourself?

Sounds convenient. Lucky you.

the last mosquito that bit me had to check into betty ford.

Do you guys who go to a bar every night go to a gay bar?

Do you see the same people over and over? Do some of them seem like alcoholics?

And a lot of you hate work? What do you talk about while drinking? Work? DL topics like shaving taints and Jessica Lange?

I used to work in a bar, but I am not a drinker, so I am curious about the bar life from a heavy drinker perspective.

R108 yes. Never talk work - that’s the joy. Diverse and interesting conversation

Or what the sober call “annoying piss talk” r109. It may sound deep and interesting to drunks, but is repetitive and boring to everyone else.

Yeah -I do pity bartenders. I could never put up with the annoying crazies in a gay bar. And there is no escaping from behind the bar. My worst nightmare - which is why I tip well.

I wonder if it is such a bad thing. If you are only drinking at night socially and you are making money and are happy, why change. I worry about physical effects - get liver checked regularly - but don’t feel that it’s negatively affecting my life. Hanging out in gay bars actually gives a middle aged single gay man some companionship and fun in an otherwise work and struggle life. Sure I could volunteer at the library - or go see a show - but I really don’t want to. I have more fun hanging out at the bar with people who are interesting gay share interests and maybe even a hook up. Beats sitting around on DL - not that there is anythI guess wrong with that😁

Functional alcoholics can’t outrun the beast forever.

I considered myself a true functional alcoholic. At one time, up to about 4 years ago, I drank 6 - 8 G&T every night after work and only in the evenings on the weekends. Only if I was home alone. If I had something to do in the evening I didn't drink, or maybe one or two if having dinner with friends. Never in the morning. I even worked out after getting off work five days a week. Also was never late for work or missed a day of work for years. And no hangovers since my 30s.

Now, for whatever reason, I'm okay with having only one or two beers a night. Not sure why but I just lost the taste for strong drinks. Now if I have more than two beers I feel a bit tipsy. You would think drinking less alcohol I'd see my weight drop a few pounds, but no, I'm still about 30 pounds overweight.

I guess everyone is different and has their own story.

I’ve varied in consumption but it’s never affected performance - just my own happiness.. There are periods where I was drinking a lot, maybe 4-5/nights a week. It definitely made work harder. But was functioning. Eventually just stopped when life eased up.

I think there are some people who definitely have a gene. Like Augustan Burroughs. People who, once they started, were obsessive non- stop drinkers and by their 20s were out of control. Those are the ones who do rehab or are dead by their 30s.

For many - especially gay men - I think it just creeps up. Without kids and responsibilities, we have the freedom. And arguably don’t have the focus or purpose of child-rearing. It’s easy to drink more - out of boredom and to ease the existential pointlessness of life. Then you either choose to stop/slow down - or continue until retirement and spend your days in SF or Wilton Manors bars watching the days go by. Not going to judge - as people have done that for generations. But for me, it has a negative impact on my mental health.

My dad was a functioning alcoholic. He drank a case of beer a night, plus Jim Beam on the weekends. He had a good job, was never sick, played tennis, gardened, had lots of home projects going on....but had a terrible personality. He was always on edge planning how to get his drinks in. He didn’t want to travel or do anything outside of his rigid schedule.

Horrible way to live. Fuck, that’s not living. Not at all.

If this is you, please try to get help. I promise that things get better after getting sober. It takes a minute, but it’s worth it.

The depression will most likely become treatable, once the booze is removed. Please give yourself a chance!

❤️❤️❤️

I started drinking at 21, and really bc started drinking heavily in my 20s and 30s when my job caused me severe anxiety. I would go into work hungover, which at one point I remember felt tired and sleepy...and thinking it was better than feeling riddled with anxiety. I did a lot of stupid things that make me cringe to this day when I drank. I looked successful on paper, so never got questioned about it with the exception of my husband. I definitely believe there is a drinking gene. Alcoholism runs rampant in my family. I drink heavily on nights that I have to be up early for...I reduced my drinking because it caused me to gain 30 lbs. It's not only the booze you drink, it's the increase in appetite alcohol causes, and calorie heavy food you mindlessly find yourself shoveling into your mouth.

I don't think I count, because I don't drink daily or continuously at all. But I binge drink at times and have monumental hangovers, to the point where I'm vomiting all day, close to having to go to a hospital. I'm sick and in bed without being able to move or eat. Feels like I'm dying. These have happened many, many times throughout my drinking life (age 17-40). I've had to call off work, thrown up in my car, at events, toilets at work, etc. I've slowed now since I'm older, but it still happens. I don't have a problem having a few drinks out though and then stopping/going home.

Binge drinking is tricky. I felt that because I only drank on weekend nights, I wasn’t alcoholic. But I definitely needed to drink on weekends. Though in retrospect a lot of it was hating my job which created extreme anxiety and ruined my life. Since stopping, I realized how much it created depression and increased anxiety. It also was bad for my heart. Still not sure how to describe it. I stopped without AA or too much effort. But it clearly was a habit that negatively affected me. “Alcoholic” is a simplistic word for a complex issue.

Yeah, -R8- sure sounds like a pillar of wisdom. What the fuck!?

Bit of an oxymoron, isn't it?

I didn't read any of the threads, just the topic. Yes, I'm a functioning alcoholic AND I made it to retirement. In fact, I'm still drinking. I was only confronted on the job once and managed to lie my way out of it. Never got a DUI or lost a job. I did learn a hard lesson about 'dialing drunk' -- lost a great relationship because of that so never did it again. Also, never email or text while drunk. I don't know how I lucked out but managed to make some very wise financial decisions so now don't have to worry about money. I would love to quit, though. I know I'm playing with fire right now: I've got my health, my mind, and money. My looks are pretty much gone but I think I could still be reasonably attractive if I could just quit drinking. I worry that I'm self-sabotaging: that I'm waiting to hit rock bottom, hurt myself or someone else and that will force me to quit. We'll see...

My stepfather is a high functioning alcoholic, he's worked in the airline industry tech. engineering department of a major airline since he graduated from the school he worked to put himself through. He's got a beer in hand within 5 minutes of being home from work. He technically shouldn't have a license because of the three strike law here but since the last accident was caused by a 16 yr old with an illegal passenger and driving permit, he never actually had any negative legal consequences from that one, despite being drunk and upon getting him stabilized in the ICU he had to have an alcohol pic so he wouldn't go through withdrawal. It took 6 months for him to recover and hasn't changed a bit. He reeks in the morning like he's bathed in beer. On weekends he adds a handle of JD to the mix, has gout, can hardly walk because of the last accident shattering his leg and he's just a hop-skip away from retirement. He also spends his weeknights playing with various bands. Most of my blood relatives are drunks, or were and are now dead but step dad takes the cake bc he's rarely seemingly 'drunk'.

R124 If most of your 'blood relatives are drunk' please be careful. There's definitely a drunk gene in you waiting to explode. I CANNOT stand Donald Trump but he knew enough not to tempt fate with a drink...after his brother and older relatives fell victim. What's the saying? Hate the sin, not the sinner? Well, I hate BOTH of them! But please please if you have drunks in the family, don't touch any alcohol even beer or this new catch-shit "hard selzer"...

R125 Thank you, I am over 30 with epilepsy, drinking isn't something I have any interest in. Went through a few rough years as a teenager but as soon as I developed epilepsy I lost all interest in using any chemical to lose control. In an odd way I got lucky (especially bc I can manage not using anti seizure meds bc those will do as much damage to the brain as booze plus the myriad other side effects).

[quote] I CANNOT stand Donald Trump but he knew enough not to tempt fate with a drink

And aren't we all better off for it?!!! WTF, r125. Are you seriously applauding Trump for extending his destructive impact through abstinence from alcohol?

I had an alcoholic uncle that lived with us as I grew up. He was my fathers older brother, and he divorced his wife before I was born. He was the nicest guy in the world when he was sober, but a real jackass when he was drunk. He would stop for a few beers on the way home from work, but genersy grandmothers, get loaded, and proceed to start a battle royal with his sister, my aunt. My grandmother would call up crying and my dad and I would go over and pick him up. He never really caused any trouble at our house, until one time he came home loaded on a Saturday, when my dad was at work, and slapped my mother. I proceeded to kick him down the stairs and beat the shit out of him. My dad was furious for what I did to his brother, never mind what he did to my mother, but that turned the trick. We didn't see him for four months, but he dried out during that time and never had another drink after that. He was a pleasure to be around after that, and never was mad at me for what I did. He felt it was necessary and for the best. Interesting side note: One of the most successful functioning alcoholics in history was automaker Walter P. Chrysler. He was the only big carmaker that lived in Manhattan rather than Detroit, and he, his wife, and his kids were all big party animals.

That is kind of hot that you defended your mother's honor like that R128. Aren't you a big strong man?

[quote] R52: My second sponsor insisted that if one could make it through the day on only two drinks, one was NOT an alcoholic.

My friend’s yardstick is “not more than one blackout a year”. But both R52 and my friend shouldn’t rely too much on such measurements.

I think the best measure is what it is doing to your life. That’s hard to measure, but DUIs, lost jobs, broken relationships, related financial problems, these kind of thing, are all signs. And if it’s a struggle to “make it through the day”, too.

129 I was about 17 at the time, and worked out regularly.

You can always tell when someone's a drinker. It really ages them.

R128/R131 Well, you certainly seem like a good guy to have around in a pinch.

I drink a bottle and (a little less than a half) every night. Every 7 days i skip a day of drinking because my body just rebels. I am working 40+ hours a week at a job i just got back in late September, then received a promotion and raise. I also receive a bonus of up to $2400 a month based upon my production and have received roughly 1900 per month for the past two months (averaged). I have in the past been completely sober, but it's worth noting my depression and addiction because of a horrible job (and some other things) that got me to the point of being homeless for 6 months, then essentially a combo of couch-surfing/paying for a room for about 2 years because of the fall-out. i got sober for about 16 months after the stint of homelessness, but have lapsed back into drinking with a few short periods (a week or less) of not drinking here and there. It's not sustainable and i know that. i attend AA meetings about twice a week hoping that i will feel that urge to join the collective again. i am moving into my own place now after 2 1/2 years of not being in my own place with plenty of money for rent, deposit, furniture, etc. i am not living the dream by any means and am thinking that in the near future i will launch back into full sobriety, especially since the drinking has resulted in a big weight gain. also worth noting, i live in Northern California, Sonoma County so rent is quite expensive here. it's not cheap to be a functioning drunk here.

How old are you if you don't mind sharing, R134?

I will pray for you...

51, R135

Ok, most of these comments are completely correct, because ALL drunks are the same, rich or poor, black or white, hetero or homo. I was a successful endurance athlete in my 20's, at the Olympic trial level, but mediocre. I was in college during and after that, and then hit 30 without much to do, became a high school English teacher and started drinking. For the first 8 years it was kinda sexy, I was lubricated and fun, woman loved me (I'm hetero from San Francisco if you want to know why I' here, all my friends are gay) , and it gave me COURAGE and some weird energy. Then I was drinking a 30 pack of Natural Light a day, plus 3 bottles of wine, and I wish I was making that up. I have a hot Brazilian wife, who was fine with it, until she wasn't, and I ended up in the hospital dying 4 times, the last time in an induced coma. I was that bad. They put me into a come for 4 days. I drank that much. That was 5 years ago, and now I drink a little to have sex or be fun, maybe 2 bottles of wine. I'm large 6'2". Irish German, Grandmother from Ireland, and encouraged to drink at 10 years old. 46. Not dead yet, but If I drink as much as I want I will be dead in about three months. Kid in prestigious college. No real money, but doing ok. So functioning? I guess, weird life. I drink as medication, which is what most people here say, but I also like to drink all day and have hardcore sex. I can't do it much, I'm almost 50. Slowing down Ulcer, and weight gain, I need to lose 20. Back pain, old man shit. It's not that sexy, except it's pretty nice to drink some cheap prosecco and have sex all day and night.

r137 i also drink as medication. i have chronic pain from a surgery in 2005 and stupid tendinitis. it keeps me mired in pain 24/7.

R137 interesting story. Old school SF is very alcohol(Ic) friendly. I do think some of it is cultural. An alcoholic in CA is a heavy drinker in London. Knew a lot of SF Irish and every one had issues. They preferred to drink rather than drug like a lot of the other hippies. The party atmosphere of (old) SF was very tolerant. I wonder if that’s why “Days of Wine and Roses” was set there?

I don't *think* I'm an alcoholic, but I went from 3-5 drinks per week to several every night after retiring last year. I didn't like that trajectory and just quit drinking entirely. I feel better.

R137 Yes, the Olympic Club? Drinking is tolerated or encouraged, and drugs (no matter how much more harmless they are) are taken secretly or not at all. It's a keeping up appearances thing, but getting out of date. I think the OP is asking about the "functioning" part, I go to work, they don't know, but I had to slow down or I wouldn't be professional. I think the SF tolerance might be a good thing, part of the tolerance here in general, and it seems more accepting than encouraging, like we all have our problems to deal with, it's OK to be a little fucked up, as long as you keep it yourself. Irish people.