Let's Be a Lesbian Weekend

I’m the U-Haul.

I’m the softball game.

I’m the DRAMA

I am the bath drawn, with the tub surrounded by candles, so we can take a bath and talk. And talk. And talk.

I’m Home Depot.

Anyone?

I’m the Indigo Girls CD.

Nothing just some Lyrica, because the Fibro is acting up.

I'm the three freshly kicked in and punched holes in the drywall....perhaps I will be fixed with a trip to Home Depot by Sunday evening?

I'm the endless circle of one-syllable introductions at the house party.

Pat? Barb? Meet Liz.

Sue? Fran? Meet Kat.

Liz? Meet Deb and June.

Kat? Meet Barb and Dot.

Fran? Meet Faith, Dawn, and Jen.

Pat? Meet Other Pat, and Val and Quinn.

I am the waves of vagina.

I’m the drying vaginal fluid on the double dildo, slowly being flavored by patchouli incense.

I'm caulking the tub, walking the dog, and then then a quick round of golf.

I am the loneliness

R10 😂 LMAO!!!

I am Fried Green Tomatoes. I am to lesbians as Steel Magnolias is to gay men.

I'm the oversize, not-at-all form-fitting, washable short-sleeved shirt.

There are any number of us present, and we are a GODSEND.

I am the new car smell that emanates from the brand new dildos

I'm the silent combination of passive aggressive resentment and pathological codependency between Pat and Barb as they go slowly about their weekend chores around the house (in fact, an excuse not to talk to each other too much) while in the background a Phranc early 90s album is playing to remind us of the college lesbian party where we first met.

I am the exposed nipples.

I’m the top half of the dildo in the dishwasher.

R10–hilarious

I’m the wood for the new decking Amanda and Sarah are building this weekend.

I’m the lesbian who is not amused by this thread.

This thread is not amusing, or entertaining.

I'm Beth, R17's "better half." Hee.

But I really hate the way that Fran says she loves me just as I am, when she's checking out Meg, Bliss, and all the other skinny bitches in the room.

I'm the fire pit in the backyard, bought on sale last summer at WalMart for $29.44.

I'll keep the girls and their friends warm on Saturday night, on Sunday morning I will be full of firewood ash, 4 1/2 packs of Marlboros, Camel Crushes and/or Parliments, and a few Miller High Life cans.

I'm a Navajo print picked up in Taos a few years ago. Neither Suzanne nor Jennifer have any idea what significance I have in the Navajo culture but it seemed like the perfect thing to get - it *has* to have something to do with Earth Mother.

I'm a sense of humour. I'm not there.

I’m Pat’s enormous pendulous breasts unrestrained by a bra under a bowling shirt for the duration of the weekend.

Jules, Dee, and Chris, meet R24.

And R25, her ex.

I think they're still pretty close.

An anniversary gift from my wife -

I'm the calculator that appears when the dinner check comes to the table. I will divide the the total down to the penny per person. Even if you just had one French fry, I will figure out your share.

I’m Barney and this is Freddo we’re currently at Tash’s house. We spend every other weekend with Susan who is Tash’s ex. Susan is currently dating Bec who used to date Rhonda. Rhonda was Tash’s girlfriend before Susan.

We have no idea who we belong to.

I'm Alice Pieszecki here fresh out of prison.

I am the boundaries being stated.

Suze, where does that Barney person get off calling you Susan?

I thought you said you were Suze since Sarah Lawrence.

How well do you even know this Barney?

I so don't care about these people. In case you were wondering.

I'm the Toyota 4-Runner.

I'm the trans woman with the '7 inch surprise' who wants to fuck them so bad

I am womyn. Hear me roar.

I’m Lana, late in life Lesbian. I was married to Carl for 32 years until I took a yoga class and met Karen. This weekend we’re breaking the news to my adult sons. I’m sure it’ll be fine.

I'm the bottle of Coors Light being slammed down and the Marlboro Light being smoked on the back deck after the latest screaming argument.

I'm Sunday's AA meeting, where my behavior on Saturday night will be explained and rationalized. It's not ALL my fault!

I will be back next Sunday.

R43 Goddamn, right! It's Dad and Brother's fault! Mom was an Angel on Earth!

I'm the scissoring action.

I am the three-hour argument that erupts after we get home from Pat and Dot's barbecue, because I SAW YOU give a sideways glance at DeeDee.

No, I SAW you! What the fuck did that mean, Karen? WHATTHEFUCKDIDTHATMEAN?

r46, no. that's a conversation between a straight couple.

r10, no need to introduce them. They already know each other.. They've all dated each other in the past...and they're still friends.

I’m the incredible gossip tree that begins to sprout as lesbian A spends the night with lesbian B. By 245pm the next day every lesbian in the United States will know, an hour later all of European lesbianry will be aware, and within 24 hours that lesbian Mongolian falcon hunter girl will see the news.

I'm the Subaru Forrester, going like a bat out of hell up I-91 North to get to the Tough Mudder Weekend in West Dover, Vermont.

I’m a head of curly gray hair. I get shampooed on Sunday night so I look OK for the work week.

I’m rage. I appear on the scene when the straight male neighbor does something harmless, like using his leaf blower at a totally reasonable hour on Saturday.

I am the memories of Michfest and the delicious nut loaf served there.

I'm the duffel bag (purchased in 2002) that's full of Land's End fleece pullovers, cargo shorts, a carton of Yellow Spirits and a 5-pack of Bic lighters for the camping trip.

I’m the mooncups collecting dust in the back of the AMC Gremlin in the garage.

R51 Very true!!!

I'm the casual suggestion that maybe we should try a threesome with a guy that results in another hole punched through the drywall.

I'm the curt "no thanks, we're fine" when the male Home Depot clerk asks us if we need help hauling those 50lb. bags of cement.

We're Pat and Kathy. We don't believe in these stereotypes.

I'm the free Bread Pudding Claire is always trying to cage

I am the wool tartan blanket that covers the back seat of the Subaru Forrester. I come in handy at impromptu picnics but I smell like the dogs and am covered in dog hair.

I am the rescue cats that will be added to the other six in the house. Our new mom spends more on us than she does on vision care for herself or her wife.

I am penis envy.

I'm the "natural food store" where my friend Liz works - where I pop in to say hi and buy some Rice Millet Bread.

I'm the complete Xena: Warrior Princess DVD box set, in the center of the DVD rack.

I’m the Facebook post raging against patriarchy, included is a link to an article about how lesbians are invisible in today’s society while white straight men get all the glory. This post only gets one like the entire weekend.

The post her straight brother posts about the world’s best tasting beer gets 56 Likes.

Unlike the demented creatures you people are imagining, I'm a simple, normal, down-to-earth lesbian who embodies the stability, kindness and true character of friendship by which women who love women are known.

So this weekend I'm going to finish the log cabin I'm building for my ex and her new girlfriend, taking my six Malamutes to a dog show to win some more ribbons and trophies and points, and repairing my furnace.

I haven't decided yet what I'm going to do Sunday.

Lol r66. Who said lesbians aren’t funny.

I'm the men's size 48 Kirkland Signature blue jeans worn over high waisted organic cotton/hemp granny panties favored by more than a couple of the girls here today.

I am the restraining order filed by the ex-girlfriend because the butch ex won’t stop trying to work things out by calling, showing up at work, or filing frivolous lawsuits so she can talk some sense into her...

I am front row tix to an Ani DeFranxo concert

I am the male stranger in the bar you try to pick a fight with because he says, “Excuse me, ladies” as he walks between you both while you’re arguing over something ridiculous in front of the men’s room.

I'm the plaid flannel shirt one of the dogs slept on last night that you wore to work the next day.

Scissor me timbers!

I'm Saturday night's dinner: an overdone steak and some cider from a German discount supermarket.

I'm the fight in the Lowe's Paint Department over the new color of the guest bathroom. The Paint Desk Attendant will consider calling store security, until we agree on a too dark turquoise that will clash with our decor, something only our gay male friends will notice.

I'm Aidan, Linda's FTM boyfriend.

I don't know why they've invited me since I'm a man and this is a lesbian gathering, which is definitely not what I am despite my parents' endless begging. I doubt they'll be able to accomodate my male needs, such as the razor I'll soon be able to use when my mustache has more than three hairs, and my cans of Axe.

I'll also get really bored with the conversation as I doubt any of it will be masculine topics like football, drinking, and what vacuum pump is least chafing, which is what we men talk about. I hope they've at least got some beer since that's what men drink, and that's what I am.

I'm 5'3 and watch a shitload of yaoi.

I'm this weekend's projects - cleaning out the gutters and weatherproofing the deck.

I am the group text that starts now to plan a weekend hiking and camping trip this summer. It's never too early to start planning.

R78 I'm the weekend hiking and camping trip this summer and I will never happen, because Lesbians can't follow through on group plans.

Bec and Liz will just drive to a dock at the lake, fish for 2 hours and come home, to supplement the failed trip.

I am the secret arousal I feel during the lesbian sex scenes as we hate watch “Battle of the Sexes” together.

I'm the latched gate at the dog park

We’re the Rainbow Family Fun Day. And by that we mean we’re just 8 lesbians sitting at a park watching our kids running around.

We're Liberal ElderDykes and if we can make it through the weekend without having to encounter and interact with a male over the age of 20 we'll be alright.

Cute photo, R83.

Bless the eldergays and elderlez.

I'm Del, a self-identifying femme lipstick lez who works in retail.

I've been on one date with Tam, a somewhat older butch healthcare worker who is a friend of my friend, Skye. Tam seemed nice, so I said, okay, let's hang out again.

So she brought me to Pat and Barb's house party upstate. After a really long drive. I mean.... hours.

So far one woman has asked me if I color my hair. Two more asked me if they could touch my hair. And when I reached for the gloss, I pretty much cleared the room.

No fuckin' way am I gonna tell them that I was a cheerleader, queen of the junior prom, AND an honors student. Fuck you--yes, I went to college. A rather good one.

Tam? Look at me. I'm ready to leave when you are.

I'm Gerel (pronounced with a Ga, not a Ja) , aka the lesbian Mongolian falcon hunter girl. I'm visiting my cousin Pat who introduced me to Sue the 50 y/o bisexual who isn't out to her family that she's mildly estranged from. She's invited me to attend her sister's wedding - to a man - but she said something about it being a " final nail in a coffin" for her father, but I am unsure of that meaning, or if I am to provide nail as a wedding gift.

I am the elegant cat who sits on the mantel looking with disdain at the circle of women, ex-nuns turned lesbian who talk of the smell of the sea and how it reminds them of the aroma of menstruation.

I am the white cotton panties tossed to the floor after Robyn got lucky at the bar.

I am the Kate Wolf music wafting through the flat as Sawyer and Quinn sip wine while discussing forestry in the den.

Im the tv where they are watching The Ellen show and OITNB.

R87 Hahahha

R91. True story. It happened many years back, the elegant cat, the group of chatting women, and the talk of the scent of menstrual blood.

We're the surgically tweaked labia and tasteful breast implants on all the attendees at the femmes-only orgy during Dinah Shore Weekend.

I'm "Rubyfruit Jungle," which everyone pretends to have read.

I am the Walrus.

Lesbians are disgusting!

I ain't got a Dyke bone in my body!

Im the L word dvd cds on the floor8i

I’m Mel, this weekend I’m having Michelle’s name tattooed to my shoulder. We’ve been together 6 weeks, and it’s love. She moved in last weekend. Sure there are a few things that are starting to annoy me, but we’ll be fine. This tattooo is NOT a mistake and I won’t be regretting it in another 6 weeks like the one that says Alana on my wrist.

I am the sunbeam casting a shadow off engorged clitoratia.

At the tone, the time will be... 6 o'clock.

Im the Lady Gaga sex doll

I'm the ashtrays overflowing with 305 menthol cigarette butts early Monday morning

I am the all natural, bio-degradable, scent-free, all organic sea sponge. Normally I am used to wash the last vestiges of the patriarchy from my moon cup and vag cape.

Instead, I will be hurled by the best pitching arm in the tri-state all womyn's softball team (no trans please) right at the head of my lying, cheating spouse who I have just caught "theorizing" with Artemys SacredFlow when I return a day early from my Birkenstock board meeting.

My name is Torrie. It used to be Denise, but that's not a Lesbian name. I was thinking of Brie, but that's a cheese.

Im a straight gal

Ooohhh that reminds me r103, Birkenstock are having a 10% off last seasons stock sale. I only have 13 pairs so I’m heading there now. Anyone else need to stock up? Meet you in front of Dave’s hardware.

R10 that’s a good gathering of gals, but to make it a shindig you should have invited Fi, Marg, Roz, Rox, Jo, Jane, Belle, Ash, Kels, Elle, Wren, Cam, Soph, Jae, Jan, Kym, Lil, Roo, Zazz, Oz, Jess, Gabs, Kiz, Caz, Luce, An, Bex, Linds, Aims, Gem, Rach, Trace, Jaq, Jax, Abs, Zo, Mo, Nan, Peg, Bea, Chels, Whit, Tan, Ro, Will, George, Val, Bev, Sam, Shirl, Shar, Cher, Spike, Rain (Skye’s syster), Storm (not Skye’s syster) Blair, Tosh, Moll, Min, Grayce, Jean, Nat & Nik as well.

Leaving out Meredith, Harriet, Josephine, Philippa & Carmelita was totally understandable. Pretentious femme bisexuals can get their jollies elsewhere.

I am the spent cucumber Adrian used on herself after she got excited looking at porn on the internet. Jeanne was out and will come home to a nice cucumber salad. A little warm but still tasty.

Why do lesbians use dildos if they hate penis so much?

A little cognitive dissonance there.

They don't hate penis shaped objects, they're just not interested in the male bodies and/or brains attached to them.

I'm the Ford Rangers, Subaru Foresters, Subaru Outbacks, Jeep Wranglers, and Ford F-150s parked on Pat and Barb's front lawn for the Sunday barbecue.

I'm the blender, wondering who's going to man me.

Im the snacks on the table

I am a copy of 9 to 5 starring the most lesbionic cast of all time!

Hi, we’re Sandy and Emily. Last weekend we made out at a nightclub which grabbed the attention of some straight guys we’re were interested in. We aren’t really gay, but those two hot dumbasses we’re very excited about “converting” us. This weekend they’re on the prowl again. They probably going to hit on real lesbians this time. No doubt they’re going to be a bit persistent because they were so successful last weekend. We apologies in advance.

I'm the dj of the party

R10 funny af

I'm the tears that will flow after my first orgasm with my latest partner and I am accompanied by the long talk we will have all night discussing our mother issues as we hold one another and rapidly form co-dependent bond. U-haul is usually not too far away after this.

I'm Sarah.

You know the rest.....

I'm the lesbro (with guys it's a woman called a fag hag) but yep I'm a straight man who likes to hang out with lesbians and I'm the most sensitive, strangest, yet straightest guy you'll ever meet. Barb and I made out once when she was drunk but we never talk about it. Deb can't stand having me around because she hates all men. Val and I play golf together and Trish and I are building a deck in the back of her house. On Sunday Mel and I are going to a womyn's peace rally because I'm an ally to all women!

I'm Chapstick. The black kind. I am in Nan's pocket alongside her nail clippers.

I'm the DVD that will wind down the weekend on Sunday night.

I'm the SVAKOM Amy G-Spot Wand Massager being taken out of the nightstand drawer on a Saturday morning, ready to get this weekend started right!

I am Season 3 of Grace and Frankie playing on NetFlix.

I’m the lentil salad.

I am the love that even acid could not harm. I am the 9 months that killed it.

I am the book "The secret" that Deb and Lynda will be reading Friday night. I will assist them in "manifesting" whatever they like. Oh, there is the clock!! It reads "11:11" Make a manifest wish!!

I'm the tip that was not given to my Uber driver last night.

I'm baby Sterling drinking pureed kale from a sippy cup, wondering which mom will hug me next.

I'm baby Allie. My mommies won't tell anyone what my sex is, preferring to bring me up non gendered. It makes it tough when I poop my diaper and they won't let anyone else help change me. Oops -- I did it again.

“We don’t believe in labels.”

I’m the granola and decaffeinated herbal tea for breakfast.

I'm the CPAP machine, sitting unused in the middle of the living room.

I’m Brian, from next door. I once popped my head over the fence to see if Margot and Pip wanted some of my home grown tomatoes and they recoiled like they were both the wicked witch of the west when water was thrown over her. This weekend they’re having a bbq and I heard them complaining they don’t have tomatoes for the salad. Hahahaha. They’re not getting any from me. Ever.

R134 Funny

I’m the article about ecofeminism and reproductive justice that absolutely has to be finished this weekend before the Monday submission deadline of Feminist Theory Quarterly.

I'm the ugly queer girl.

I'm the pool boy. They never flirt with me but I fuck Becca's brother.

I'm what's on MoJo's iPod

I am Dot’s tragic life “herstory” at the hands of an oppressive patriarchal society and the group hug that follows.

Lol r140. Poor Dot.

I'm Rojo Caliente. I miss the days of 4-wheeling and mudding before I got involved with a Hollywood actress. And wearing bras all the time is a fucking pain in the ass.

I'm the lesbian schoolmarm asking the OP: "OP: Is the WEEKEND lesbian?"

I am a tattered copy of Bitch magazine sitting next to a pile of orange peels and an empty pack of menthols.

I am Deb, the lesbian fan that defends Alanis at the comedy club. This “man” just doesn’t get female irony. Besides, Alanis is so amazing and helped me get in touch with my outrage as a womyn.

I’m the queef that breaks the silence.

I'm the secretly straight girl. I know a few of the crew from my sex and love addicts anonymous meeting. I'm a tag along. Shhhh! I think some of the gals are suspicious!

I was invited because I wear a motorcycle jacket. Nobody asked if I was gay.

Will anyone get drunk and offer me sex? Will i get loaded on weed and accept oral favors but not return any? I believe the lesbians call it a pillow princess. Sounds good to me.

Hi, i am Taylor Swift

I’m the passive aggressive behavior and snarky comments aimed at Jan because she’s only into lipstick lesbians and not bull dykes like me. Fuck her, who does she this she is?

I'm dinner at a French restaurant and tickets to the opera.

I'm Nan, ElderDyke, and I take any evidence of the slightest masculine behavior (like wearing pants) as a signal that an attractive woman is a Lesbian.

I'm dinner at a French restaurant and tickets to the opera.

—actual lesbian

Sure, Dot...🙄

[quote] Why do lesbians use dildos if they hate penis so much?

Not a thing in the world wrong with a penis. It's just unfortunate they usually are hanging off some big dick.

LOL Touché

I'm the dyke all the gals are hot for.

I'm the toolkit that is constantly around the house because there is always a home project to be done.

I have a nice lesbian neighbor. She had a lover that passed away and she was intimidating. Think Bea Arthur in a tracksuit.

I'm the snarky DL queen who thinks that making fun of lesbians is soooo funny.

I am the uptight lesbian that pretends that none of the things in this thread are funny or exist somewhere.

I'm the koozies. Everyone has their favorite, typically with a sports or Subaru logo on it.

I am the husky voice and big belly that Jodi is sporting.

I'm the copy of Diana Ross singing " Boss" in the background.

I am two tickets to the Isle of Lesbos to visit the homeland and see where it all started.

I am the old tattered "The joy of lesbian sex" sitting in the old bookcase in the guest room, near the tool box.

I am the lesbian bed death happening in each of the spare rooms in the cabin rented for the weekend. If only the gals were to play musical rooms, we could really christen this joint!

My experience with lesbians is limited. But, having spent some time with husband’s late-in-life lesbian (has an ex husband and kid) coworker, some of them are hilariously true.

For some reason, I thought there was nothing worse than the disdain of a gay man. I was wrong. Lesbians do it better.

I'm the Millennial Preppy Hipster Lesbian. I pathologically lie about having a Trust Fund, my job, my sexual hookups, my family's social status and I'm insecure as hell and pretty much a sociopath. I have no identity.

We love you lesbian sisters ❤

I am a soft mullet gently styled with a mix of gel and mousse.

I'm Pat and Barb's front porch, strewn with empty Coors Light cans that they are throwing into a garbage bag, Marlboro Lights hanging out of their mouths. They'll take the cans to Stop & Shop and then go to Home Depot for some caulk for the bathtub. It was a fun barbecue.

A KD Lang wanna-be, sitting at the bar, hoping to be “recognized” by a fan....

I am the soft-butch sous chef.

What part of the country do these beer drinking, chain smoking lesbians live? I don't know anyone who smokes.

We are Hope, Erica, Tara, Serenity & Raven.

We are all Women’s Lit students & freshmen at the city College, and we live in the same dorm-building on different floors. None of us are dating but we’re all friends who casually sleep together, because we’re liberated young queer females still figuring out who we are and what we want in life. Our dormmates call us the “Lesbian Friends” but we ignore them - they are ignorant of LGBT culture and they love hetero tv shows that perpetuate LITERAL violence towards w/w & queer people. NONE of us are LUGs, either - we’re just girls who HAPPEN to like girls, ok?

On weekends we like to drift in and out of each other’s dorm rooms, under the pretext of studying together or comparing notes. No-one calls us on this or tries to infiltrate our group, because all the other students we know are straight airheads who are so narcissistic they erase us from their existence (and who needs them, anyway?). It’s hard for sexually-free goddesses like us to mix with them.

We spend every hour of our Saturdays alternately drinking copious mugs of hibiscus tea (organic, of course), watching reruns of ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ on Netflix (teasing Tara about her name, of course), and taking turns dry-humping on our unmade bed coverlets (wool print, of course) because we don’t know how to fuck yet. Our Sundays are for awkwardly avoiding each other as we each individually make breakfast pancakes (hemp) in our tiny shared kitchenette and then make loud sobbing phonecalls home to our parents. Our mothers keep asking if any of us have “met a nice boy” yet, it’s SUPER uncomfortable and totally disrespectful. We all miss our fur-babies we had to leave at home.

Trust-fund-baby omnisexual ‘unicorn’ Serenity is in love with pansexual Tara but Tara doesn’t know and prefers getting her clit rubbed by boi Raven who is tired of waiting for Wiccan virgin Hope to stop being so jittery and put out. Stone-butch jock Erica gets Serenity off so good we can hear her screams of bliss outside our dormbuilding but Erica still thinks she’s just a princess and prefers to grope Hope when she’s passed out with nerves after a gruelling day-long class we all take on Virginia Woolf in Contemporary Culture (we all have a crush on our lecturer Mai, who from our collective research/stalking seems to be sapphic).

We avoid the gay clubbing scene in our School because Hope is shy and has severe photosensitivity and because Raven got banned from the clubs for fighting in the first semester. The club is also full of boys which makes Tara confused (sometimes she blacks out and makes out with them, and we have to remind her not to). We sometimes recruit for the LGBT society on campus but we have to alternate shifts otherwise we end up competing over cute freshmen girls! Erica puts up most numbers, it’s the Key West tan & the abs she gets from rowing every week.

It’s Hope’s birthday next weekend, she’s a Pisces with a 12th house moon so she’ll get sad if we forget. Serenity got her new black candles (Sandalwood scented) for her spellcasting; Tara got her the cutest glittery black laces for her Docs; Erica got her a Mazzy Star vinyl; and Raven got her a sterling-silver moodring (she’s gonna ask Hope to date exclusively, will she go for it?).

I am the tattered photo scrapbooks of the last 10 MichFests.

I'm Greg. I'm 16. My mom is a dyke who is in the kitchen smoking and drinking while waiting for Val, her girlfriend, to come home. I'm on my bed making out with my girlfriend on dingy sheets. Later, they'll make some spaghetti and we'll have dinner.

That's my mom in the photo.

Im Kate, the lesbian artist from New York.

I'm the gay cousin of a Lesbian who is celebrating her birthday this weekend. The rest of the Lesbians keep asking who I am and why I am there.

R177 I thought it was Greg

I'm a giant pot of boiling water full of seafood large enough to feed a lesbionic army. I am also guitars and picnic tables.

You'd think dykes would get tired of eating seafood.

I’m the sticky, sloppy used dildo sliding slowly down the side of the bed as the Dot lays next to the dyke, body still spasming in orgasmic ecstasy....

instead of asking why lesbians hate men, just look at this thread and you'll have your answer. Gay men are no different than straight men in their disrespect and hated of women. And I do go to french restaurants and operas. I don't know even one lesbian that acts like you all suggest.

R184 and partner

I think our next thread ought to be Let's Be a Humorless Lesbian and start with R184's post

R184 had a cup of the French Onion soup when it was the soup of the day at her local diner. She saw the traveling Les Misérables, when a coworker couldn't use the tickets, she didn't really like it and she categorized it as an opera.

I’m the lesbian that went to the opera. It was called Cats. Unfortunately it wasn’t about the pussies I’m interested in 🐱 so I sued the show for false advertising.

R184 Its just a funny thread, this is nothing about real life lesbians

R184 DL is made up of stereotypes. All straight women are awful, all hot straight men are secretly gay, all parents of toddlers are terrible, all autistic people are faking it, all kids are rude brats, all old ladies are shrews, all lesbians drive u-hauls, all foreigners stink, all muslims are evil, etc etc.

This thread is tongue in cheek. It’s one of the least vicious threads around. Don’t take it so personally or you just feed the “all lesbians are humourless” stereotype.

I don’t know any effeminate gay men that like divas and fashion either. Fake news!

I'm the somewhat bitter butchy femme that the three gay male gearheads at the pool party all love because of my beautifully restored GMC Sprint (that's not worth half what it would be if it had an El Camino badge).

I’m the abandoned fanny pack full of tools

I am the first edition signed copy of The Feminine Mystique placed in a place of honor.

I'm the Home Depot flyer that's wadded up on the floor of the SUV. I had such potential, but "someone" couldn't agree on colours for repainting the guest bathroom, which led to a loud discussion in Aisle 12, and "someone else" sleeping on the pull out couch.

To be fair r195 that’s every couple in Home Depot.

R174, at your school, if one of you has had some bad news or is a bit down, do you stroke each other? You know, someone do one arm and someone else the other?

Hey Guys & Gals! Heading to Becky's Uncle Leland's cabin out at the lake in Arkansas for Memorial Day weekend! Y'all be safe!

I'm the discussion about the need for inclusion and diversity.

R199 the discussion held at a lesbian-only party.

R184, have you been to SF pride recently? This thread describes about 99% of lesbians. Morbidly obese, covered in shitty tatoos, half had double masectomies, underemployed, looking like Pat from SNL.

*masectomies because they are now FTM.

Well, that's the "Pride" [sic] crowd, R201. The men don't look great, either.