I've come to realize that if not for Datalounge I wouldn't talk to anyone

I don't think anyone would assume that you are bragging, OP.

But I would not call posting on a web forum 'having a talk', even if it may feel like it. Internet is as impersonal as it gets. Ultimately, nobody here actually cares about anybody else posting here.

Are you new R1?

I've seen more compassion and concern for others here than I have ever seen in the real world.

You could do worse, OP. You must have if you're here so much.

R3 I've realized that the anonymity here gives posters the chance to say things they would never say in the real world. Cunty things, but also nice things.

DL is social media.

[quote] DL is anti-social media.

Fixed.

I disagree R5. Social media is Facebook, Twitter, instagram and all that shit.

You should try to connect with people in real life. This isn’t even like most forums where there are profiles and bios. It’s basicaly an anonymous posting site.

DL is not social media.

[quote]It’s basicaly an anonymous posting site.

And that's why it's so much better than social media.

Most psychologists recommend that we speak to SIX people every day!

You can include shopkeepers and bus drivers among the six.

Dataloungers are OK too.

OP I can relate to your post. Reddit is also good for online communication. If you do ever feel the need to have human interactions in real life, meetup.com helped me.

[quote]Most psychologists recommend that we speak to SIX people every day!

God that sounds exhausting.

R2 It isn't so exhausting if we include shopkeepers, bus drivers and Dataloungers.

DL is a great place to meet women.

I'm exactly the same, OP. Let's be anonymous DL friends!

Yes. We can be cyber-friends.

Same here OP. I waited all day at home to hear from bear I hooked up with on the grindr yesterday. Never happened. Didn't go out. Stayed on DL bitching and grieving.

Definition of social media. : forms of electronic communication (such as websites for social networking and microblogging) through which users create online communities to share information, ideas, personal messages, and other content (such as videos.

Sounds like DL to me.

DL is social media. End of discussion. Final verdict.

I agree with the op. - my best friend of 30 years has gotten increasingly perfect and judgy over the years. I don't even bother with light fun conversation with him any more - and God forbid I have a problem or the blues - all I would get is an impatient lecture. DL has given me relief from that intense "aloneness" I have been feeling in recent years.

Psychologists come up with the stupidest stuff sometimes. Introverts' lives would be shortened by having to try to talk to 6 people a day. What b.s. Some people are good with 1 friend or even contact. Some people don't need any - there have been hermits since time immemorial. Not that it's ideal - but it's been a choice some people have always made.

It's like people saying married folks are happier. They're marginally happier than singles -- but singles are happier than people in bad marriages, which is a good 50% of them. Life isn't so cut and dried.

Ditto, OP.

I hope you have a job that you can go to and interact with people. And how about groups that you can belong to or join?

Interacting with other people is very important - we all need it.

Albert.

R21- I don't think there's anything wrong with aiming for opening your life up to 6 human interactions a day. Are there really people out there who not only don't have jobs but don't do things like buying groceries or anything that makes you have to talk to someone. For instance today, I talked to my husband, my friend, two people I played a game with, and two people behind the counter at McDonalds. There's my 6. I think that if you're not coming up with an average of 6 a day, it's bad for you.

R12, ANY six people? Not a good idea in NYC.

where do you live op?

Not social media to anyone who is even remotely social

There are assholes ( figuratively speaking, of course) and narcissists everywhere. Unfortunately in the real world we can't instantly hit a block button. On DL we can.

You don't find that 1/2 the posters are total cunts? It can be very depressing reading some of the shit on here... depending on the day and the thread topic.

People have been going on for hours and hours about how male rape is fake, for example... or clearly the fault of the victim...

There are so many of these lonely people posts on DL. I'm one of those lonely people.I wish there was a way we could all find each other.

This is a timely post and I can relate! Datalounge has been a real source for (as someone said above) taking the edge off the alone-ness, especially around holidays. When the site went down for a couple days recently, I actually noticed a difference almost like I didn’t have an outlet to read and engage and felt agitated.

I do have social media but it isn’t fulfilling, if anything it just makes me feel worse. I’ve been feeling isolated lately (breakup, cold weather, introversion) and can go days without having real interactions. It kind of scares me. But it’s a catch 22, I worry I’m becoming addicted to my phone and still long for human connection.

Wow 6 people a day? What about on days off? Yes when I’m working I interact with way over 6people a day. But today I pretty much stayed home. I visited my mom, talked to the pizza guy when I picked up a pizza, texted a couple friends throughout the day, so that’s only 4. But 2 were not in person interactions.

If you count my dog and 2 cats then I’m at 5 in person interactions a day.

I also screamed across the street to a stranger asking if she was ok. She fell hard on her butt when her dog was caught off guard by some unleashed dog running down the sidewalk. If she counts then I have my full 6 in person interactions (if you include my pets :)

[quote]Ultimately, nobody here actually cares about anybody else posting here.

Speak for yourself, bitch. I love everyone here.

Toronto R27

Most people are assholes. I'm happiest when I don't talk to anyone outside my small circle.

I have two best friends who have known me forever that live 1000 miles away, and I talk to them about once a week. I call my dad and my sister frequently, my mother less so because she drives me crazy. I visit my godparents about once a month. I read DL mostly for the political threads, but I learn a lot of other things here as well. And of course I run errands. In fact, today I am having my teeth cleaned. Oh -- and I have a dog I love dearly.

Good enough for me.

You should get a social life OP, get some friends. Humans are social creatures, we need contact with other people.

Based on the content of the postings, which lack interest, originality, or intelligence, clearly not many people post. It is just a few scummy trolls.

[QUOTE]You should get a social life OP, get some friends.

Yes, OP, just go outside your house right now and grab the nearest person by the shoulders and ask them to be your friend.

You can start somewhere r39.

Volunteer, join a book club, or a gay meet up or something!

You can create some sort of social life.

[quote]and God forbid I have a problem or the blues - all I would get is an impatient lecture.

Translation, he gives me useful advice which I repeatedly refuse to take and my lack of effort to come even half way to solving my own problems makes him irritated, yet I find it all HIS fault and am baffled.

R3 is joking about OP, but it described me so well I feel hurt and offended.

[quote]I do have social media but it isn’t fulfilling, if anything it just makes me feel worse.

I felt the same, so I deleted my IG and my Twitter, then shut down my FB as much as possible (I have three professional orgs that are only on FB so I can't completely get away from it).

That was just a few weeks ago and I'm already seeing benefits. I've started organizing the house like I always meant to, plus right now I'm looking into finally finishing my degree. Joined an online book club and started listing boxes of stuff on eBay.

I didn't go looking for any of those things, I just started having time for them. You might try some app to block social media sites for a few days as a test run to see what happens.

Occasionally, enough to keep coming back, there is genuine grace and compassion here on the DL.

I consider everyone here family.

Can I borrow $5,000?

25 years ago, I used to chat online. Then I lost interest. I've also lost interest in the up close and personal small-talk and the mundane bullshit that constitutes most people's daily existence. DL provides the perfect outlet for a variety of news/views and a modicum of mental stimulation that would otherwise be absent from my life. And the best part is that I can instantly avoid the lunatics, crazies, and dollar store variety annoying by simply closing my browser, something that isn't possible in the up close and personal world.

I appreciate the fact that most posters here understand the quote, "Brevity is the soul of wit."

For the most part people here get to the point as opposed to the real world when asking someone what they had for lunch and then listening to them blather on for 25 minutes before finally telling you they had a really nice tuna fish sandwich.

Where would one go to meet DL types in real life?

DL is the foam party of social media.

R49 made me laugh.

I've been coming here for over ten years-- sometimes more, sometimes less depending on what's going on. I have a few close, longtime friends, but I enjoy spending time with you bitches more. I can hear all your disembodied voices narrating my morning skin regimen, my shopping trip, etc.

"Where would one go to meet DL types in real life?"

The basement.

Find me six decent people and I'll be happy to talk with them.

No 41 - the problem with my old friend is his intense need to be the center of every situation. - this person can agonize for weeks over feeling wronged by a casting choice at a community theatre - but dare I mention that my 83 year old mother fell down twice last month - my friend will curtly suggest my mom enter assisted living - in the next breath he will launch into a 45 minute diatribe on what a terrible movie "the shape of water" is ..... After an evening of that I find sinking into a DL thread about what a loser Scott Baio is extremely relaxing - so sue me!

R51 that video is fake. And unfunny.

R54 - Eat shit and die. Dear.

All you need to know is on DL. And we almost always have it first.

Although OP, you should try to make a friend or two. Butcha got to have have friends.

Ohhhh, friend!

People.....people who need people........

I relate OP. I believe I have agoraphobia. I went through something traumatic a few years ago and have gradually become more reclusive. I'm not working but I have money to survive probably another two or three years. I don't use facebook or instagram or twitter or apps. I live alone in a studio condo. I only go out 4-5 times a month mostly to do errands like pay rent, bills, stock up on grocery and use the atm. Before I leave the condo, I drink a lot of alcohol in order to deal with being around people. I don't drink alcohol except those times before I leave the condo.

My family lives in the US. I'm living 7,000 miles away in the country where my parents were born. I came here for altruistic reasons and to get to know my heritage but have become increasingly jaded by the reality. I call or email my mom once a month. She's the only one I talk to.

I enjoy being alone. I have hundreds of channels I can watch on tv. Shows and movies from all over the world that I couldn't watch in the States. I enjoy going on the internet and reading peoples' blogs, news, history. I like to write, draw and think alone.

Before I became agoraphobic, I was very social but it was all a facade. It took a constant stream of drugs and alcohol to maintain that lifestyle.

I probably also have avoidant personality disorder. Case in point, even on DL, after I reply to a thread I don't go back to that thread. I just assume I'll get negative replies. I'm just glad there are notifications that tell when someone likes your reply. That's the only way I know what people think of my reply.

I promised myself I would go to a psychiatrist this year. But it isn't easy to pull myself away from enjoying being alone. I only get depressed thinking of my interactions with other people. It also costs a lot of money and there's the language and cultural differences. But I know I have to get a real job again one day. I'm sorry for this EST. But that's my life.

Me too OP. No family and all my friends from the past are dead. Data lounge provides me with my only outlet to the gay community and personal interaction. I was devastated when I thought DL closed up shop a few months back. Sometimes it all ends up this way.

As people get older their circle of friends diminishes, partly due to moving to other locations or just becoming estranged due to family and work obligations. The friends we were close with when we were younger eventually drift apart, it take effort to remain in touch. It's normal to become slowly less social unless you have a family, and even then you concentrate more on your family and your friends become less important and distant. Make an effort to talk to other people when you're out and about, even if it's just small talk to people you interact with in stores.

It does get harder as you get older because of moving/deaths/circumstances, but there are other things, too...

I appreciate DL for its wit, variety, and gay perspective...

But also very important is that you can be very "real" and say what you think and there are people on your "wavelength" - that is hard to find. If you go to a meet up or some group , yes you could physically be around people but it would be all banal small talk forever.

If OP is from Canada, I can see why it would be harder. There is not a lot of truth being spoken at the moment. It is a very lonely place if you are capable of critical thinking. Not very sociable, either.

Have you ever tried to borrow $5,000 from a member of your own family including your own parents?

I doubt it.

Even family members are fuckers.

Here you can vent without destroying relationships you never had in the first place and make a real connection with others if only for a moment.

[quote]We can be cyber-friends.

1998 just texted and it wants the term "cyber" back.