35 and single

STOP OVERTHINKING SHIT OP

Be chill.

Do you like him? Is he a nice guy? Do you want jump his bones?

If yes, then proceed. At some point you'll figure out why he hasn't been in a serious relationship.

But worrying about it after a first date is seriously unchill and you're likely to scare him off

Oh please be him, oh dear Gawd

It MUST be him, it MUST be him

Or I shall die. Or I shall diiiieeeeee

I dunno OP, he sounds pretty dangerous. Avoid him at all costs.

If you are 35 or older too you should stop being so judgy until he gives you something to really judge him by. Those dates are going to be fewer and farther in between, gurl!

People at that age can decide it's time to get serious and maybe settle down. Now that would not have been a good idea to say on a first date. But the fact that he was honest in disclosing his history, as far as you can tell, is a good sign.

It is for you. You're the problem, not him.

Ditto to R6

Serial Killer,, obviously.

R8, go out on a few dates. Maybe no one wants to go out with him because he's a shallow cad.

We were both 38 when my now-husband and i met each other, neither one of us in a longterm (1+ years) relationship. Been 10 years now and going strong.

Invite him over to watch the Versace series and monitor his reaction.

When I met my guy - we’ve been together 15 years - I was 30 and he was 35. The longest relationship he’d been in was a year. That put me off, along with the fact that he was a hot daddy type and guys were always hitting on him.

But I just went with it. And here we are now, many years later...married, still totally in love, etc.

I asked him after a few years together why he hadn’t settled down before me. He replied that no one else ever gave him a reason to until I came along.

So take a chance. You just never know.

R12 That's not what he told me when he was fucking me

Wow, r12, you told me!

You judge him for that?!

Christ OP, just see if you like the guy or not. Maybe he has never been interested in anything serious until now.

He sounds pretty normal to me. Could be he was just waiting for the right one. Don't fuck it up, OP!

I'm in a 3+ years relationship at 41, the first one that lasted that long. Because before i was not that into the other person, or the other person was not that into me. And i FUCKING loved to be single and free. That's it OP.

OP just get to know the guy and go from their. There are plenty of people in their 30s who don't have much long term relationship experience. Maybe he had other priorities like career and didn't give himself enough time to let something serious develop. I was 33 before I got into my first relationship that lasted beyond a year and that was largely because I spent most of my 20s focused on my career more than my dating life. I was 41 when I met my husband.

Girls, we need to know OP's age BEFORE any commentary can be valid.

A lot of men stay closeted well into their twenties or thirties, so there are less opportunities to have long term relationships.

I think he should be warned about you.

Don't overthink as if you were trained by soap operas. A guy in NYC good-lookng enough to have lots of sex? Believe me, if he'd ever run into anyone he couldn't live without he'd have had a "relationshiop." You may not be "the one" either.

It’s problematic yes, OP. There’s probably intimacy issues there, maybe self-loathing, maybe emotional problems. Seems like a mistake. You can be friends.

Or, R12 could happen. Start out slow, and be careful.

Easily possible. I'm good looking, in my thirties, well-educated, living in a big city, hasn't been in love before (I am now) and so I have never been in a long term or even a serious relationship before.

Why limit yourself into a long term relationship unless you are in love?

Dating r23 would certainly be a mistake.

Especially since he uses the word "problematic".

He may have just been busy with other stuff in his life. For some people relationships aren't super important and they find a lot of fulfilment in other areas. My sister was like that. She concentrated on school and work then when she decided she wanted to date she had a clear idea of the kind of person she was looking for.

OP, YOU IN DANGER, GURL!

[quote] For some people relationships aren't super important

It is sad that not having a romantic relationship be the big priority in your life needs to be justified to people.

The problem is you queens look for any reason not to date someone.

Look inside yourself, Clarice.

He might have micro-penis, OP, and be ashamed of it.

This is why our society and so many relationships are so damaged. Yeah it's great to find somebody but too many people act like having a partner makes you worthwhile and solves all your problems and they will pair up with just about anybody just so they don't have to say they're alone.

Well, is Mr. Perfect with commitment phobia cut or uncut?

Go for it op and see what happens. But, if you get dumped, don’t be surprised, or if you find him to be a kook and you dump him, don’t be surprised. Go in with zero expectations (of anything) with his track record.

Maybe he’s got a thick 10” and is tired of being objectified.

What is with this heterotive-normal bullshit of settling down? The hottest people are never in relationships because they have options. All the hottest gay models in NYC are single and sleeping around because they can. 35 is too young to be tied down to a relationship.

Preach, R37.

I was 33 and my husband was 37 when we met. I was never in a relationship for more than six months. He was married to a woman for a brief while when he was young before he came out to himself. We've been together for 25 years.

You have just described many gay men - having relationships that don't last very long.

Give this man a chance to see if it will work out with you and him.

You have nothing to lose and may gain a good relationship.

I’m 58 and I hook up more than I have ever hooked up in my life with guys 30-35 years younger than me. Who on earth would settle down at 58? I would never dream of it with all of the hot young cock I get. It’s a great culture to mingle in, the young bro culture. I strut around with my hat backwards, my tight fitted t-shirt, baggy sweats and under armour to give me the perkiness they like. Though, I don’t kike when people stare. But, I get a lot of attention at my age—more so than I’ve ever had when I was younger.

*like

The only reason guys get into relationships is that they need more money. If he's "reasonably attractive" then he can get all the sex he wants.