House of Tards

I've never seen that gif before, that's hilarious! She really, [italic]really[/italic] hates him.

I'm the the pile of cheese-encrusted McDonald's wrappers in the Oval Office waste bin.

I'm the Oval Office executive chair. I smell of fart and fury.

I'm Lincoln's ghost, keeping the unfit orange tub of shit awake, so he tweets all night , exposing his insanity to the outside world.

I think Melania's approval rating has increased because so many of us feel sorry for her.

I’m General Kelly with the “B-12 injection” that’s really haldol.

[quote]House of Tards

Hey! I'm Barron, and I resemble that remark!

Please. Melania knew exactly what she was getting. Plus she pushed her husband's birther nonsense. Zero sympathy for that whore.

I'm Cheetolini's TV and I'm on alllll fucking day.

I'm Sarah Fuckabee's hot husband, busily slurping on Jared's turgid meat under his desk.

I’m the kitchen staff, flicking boogers into the double scoops of ice cream.

I’m the poly blend carpeting, giving off slightly toxic fumes.

Oh, dear. This will end in tears.

We're the klassy gilt trim and gaudy yellow curtains in the Oval Office. We hear we're going to be joined soon by marble columns and porcelain fountains.

House of Tards? House of Turds!

I am Barron.

I am sad.

:-(

Awww, poor Barron.

I like to imagine that Melania is like the Benigni character in “Life Is Beautiful”, creating the fantasy that it’s all a fun game and that people don’t really hate Daddy. A friend of a friend (I know) has a kid at Barron’s former school in NYC. Supposedly, if the discussion turned to anything regarding the election, he was whisked out of the classroom.

I'm Hope Hicks's spit cup.

I'm the "secret" file on Jared's computer called "nropyag."

R18 wow ... poor kid.

I’m the couch in the hall where Michael Wolff sat every day for a year. I’ve done my part for The Resistance.

I am Melania's menstrual cup.

I fell out of use a while ago.

I’m the all white Christmas Tree of 2017. Because we all know that it’s just not an all White Christmas we want in this country.

I am Melania's down in the toilet approval rating

I am the golden toilet seat. The THINGS I have seen! And smelled. Oy, gevalt. has that orange bitch ever heard of a washcloth!?

I'm the flashing red light in the upstairs window.

Seriously R1? That was a popular outtake from Inauguration Day along with leaving her behind in the car while he bolted up the stairs.

I'm the left side of Sarah Fuckabee Colonel Sanders' face, having a vicious fight with the right side of my face.

Just call me Sybil, bitches!

Come on OP, you heard they have separate bedrooms right? No pee stained pillows for her (that's probably one of the MANY reasons why they have separate rooms). I doubt they have had much sex together since Baron was conceived...That Tiffany's guy is obviously a vast improvement.

Melania is the poster child (or perhaps cover girl?) for the old saying "when you marry for money you earn every penny." Maybe they do not have an equivalent saying in Solvenian?

I believe it was her ultimatum that forced the separate bedrooms.

R6 Seroquel is gentler and Cheeto would be less likely to have obvious side effects...Anyway we can hope and dream he is getting his "B-12 shots" but his level of crazy is going UP not down, so seems unlikely...

r1 that is far from hilarious. it is heartbreaking.

I'm Melania's war on cyberbullying.

I don't exist.

I'm Omarosa, begging to be let back in.

I'm the time blocked out on the White House schedule for the daily Daddy/Daughter conference.

House of turds

r32. Seroquil might be gentler but its fatting ...maybe thats why Mels been packing on the pounds

Oh! I smell Formica acid! Yum!

I'm the space between Kellyanne's ears. Step inside, you can hear an echo.

I’m the towel in Melanias bathroom that she screams into every morning.

I'm John Kelly, tired of many things, but not especially that boy Jared. Can't stop talking long enough to give a decent blow job and that hole he presents has seen a little too much action.

I'm the exploded-shit dots, jots, smears, drips and splats all over a four-foot radius of The (so-called) President's toilet, left there every third morning at 10 am.

While the Turd in Chief is famously germ-phobic, he also thinks his "shit don't stink," and that since it comes out of him it's a precious thing.

And that's why he think's it's a privilege for the White House housekeeper staff to clean it up thoroughly and fast, in case he's having one of his twofer days and needs to get back in there at 10:10.

I am Ivan, Melanomia's "trainer," who Trump encourages her to see at least five times a week so she stays in shape for him.

Ivan is leaving frequent spooge pies delivered up in the Slovenian Prossy's Honey Pot. Barron hides behind the equipment and enjoys Mama's squeals, which are emitted at a frequency only Ural civets and on-the-spectrum tardboys can hear. They make him feel warmywetty.

It is a cross between Caligula and Romper Room in that debased shit hole.

Your life isn't worth a plug nickel, you dirty ruskie.

She doesn't call for IVAN in the middle of the night you dirty gigolo.

I am the Secret Service agent assigned to the First Family. Each time I speak into my sleeve I am actually making a voice memo recording. I am writing a book. Yeah, baby. I am Definitely writing a book.

I'm the nuclear button. I think this year I might go BOOM!

How big are you, r48?

I am decorum, compassion and decency. I was tossed to the curb the minute the Trumps moved in.

I hope to return one day.

I am the smallish hunk of Limburger cheese that President Obama wedged into the cracks of the presidential desk. As time goes on, the stench becomes ever stronger, yet no one can identify the source. The Oval Office re-do? Pfffffft. They were trying to locate me. But I continue to pulse out a putrid, horrifying odor to this day. Everyone just assumes it's Shitknob.

[quote]I think Melania's approval rating has increased because so many of us feel sorry for her.

I don't - she has done NOTHING in life, except marry a wealthy old man. she doesn't even evince motherhood. she is a sham and a mob mol, nothing more

When was the last time Trump had a rally? Doesn't he have one at least every two weeks in some godforsaken red sewer town?

I'm Ivanka's crisco-encrusted hand, dreading another trip up Daddy's mussy...

I am Take Your Daughter to work Day.........oops. never mind

I am Barron.

I am still sad.

:,-(

We’ll get you out of that "shithole" real soon, Barron. Don’t you worry.

R57, so that I'll have to go back to the shithole commonly known as Trump Tower?!?

:-(

I am President Plump's toilet.

I am a shithole.

We are the low level staffers who have to entertain the boy when he gets bored. We are currently reluctant participants in his new favorite game "Nut Chec.k."

I am one of Barron's cuddly toys.

I am soaked with my owner's tears.