Why do you think gay men are so obsessed with youth and appearance compared to straight men?

Why not focus on Gay homelessness, labor, public, and housing laws that protect gays?

You don't know any straight men, do you OP?

Because most older straight men are married and not on Tinder looking to hook up with 22 year olds.

R1 Ok, but I was really thinking of how we perceive ourselves and our own self-esteem and how we can improve it. Not nasty old rich dudes that pay for attention. But you do get a participation trophy.

[quote]Why not focus on Gay homelessness, labor, public, and housing laws that protect gays?

Who gives a FUCK about this SHIT.

FF this hateful thread topic

My straight friend is in management and immaculately groomed with whitened teeth. He has incredibly cleaned clothes pressed expensive dress shoes shiny. His ass is gorgeous. I can't stop looking at it. He looks like a professional athlete. He is 40. He is so fucking hot. I want to jam my tongue down his throat after licking his soft thick lips. I want to put my lips on his ass lips and deep rim him. I want to jack and suck his dick till it squirts all over both of us. I want to lick hix feet anc suvk his toes, smelk his armpits, lick his ears. He is very clean anc very fit. Straight. But I am workinv on him.

R2 Those are important issues, but it's also important that we work on our own priorities in order to focus on the needs of other people. The 'man in the mirror' theory, if you will.

It’s because men seek physically attractive mates. Women seek influential and successful mates.

A study on this was recently reported on. It indicated that women pick up on signs of affluence/success four times as much as men.

Straight men are seeking female companionship, so they try to project an aura of strength and success. Women, and gay men, are seeking male companionship, so they attempt to be as physically attractive as possible.

Straight women I should have said in my last paragraph, of course, as seeking male companionship.

And unlike women, gay men are looking primarily for an attractive partner, because gay men have penises and are therefore men.

If you are seeking a male partner (i.e. you're a gay male or a straight female), then you have to keep up your appearances, because men (even short, fat, bald men) have unreasonable expectations about the looks of their potential partners. A lot of men will pick a trophy spouse they can't stand if they think it will make their friends jealous.

If you are seeking a female partner (i.e. you're a gay female or a straight male), you don't really have to worry about your looks, because females value other things more than looks.

R3 I get it- all men are guilty of it, but it's much more prevalent in gay men and I think we can do better.

You look at a guy he looks at you. If you "click" you go do it. So you try to look good, young if you must, and of good appearance so as to attract men. Simple.

R4 That's true, but why are we so insecure that gay men have to hook up with 22y.o. guys instead of our own age group?

R8 Off topic but good luck with that anyway.

Old quens never give up the chase!

The straight trophy hunters tend to congregate in certain envy-based industries.

Gay men are men, but also divas. See thread on being the opposite of chill. Double trouble.

Also - kids. They get your focus off you and your dick/success and provide another source of esteem. You want your kids to think you’re cool and they won’t if you're chasing the new ass at work.

Straight guys are whoring themselves out as fitness models and instawhores and other substance-free occupations with increasing frequency - so they’re catching up. And gays are having more kids.

R10 But would it be better for us if we could look a little deeper and try to change that attitude?

What happened, OP? Did some hottie twink with a tight ass turn you down?

R12 But are we depriving ourselves of potential lasting relationships just because we have penises?

R13 Maybe we would be better off if we took a cue from women on this particular issue.

R15 That's fine for tricks, but what about deeper connections.

OP is a troll I already had blocked.

R18 Maybe that's why many 'old queens' are lonely and depressed.

Gay men are shallow. VERY shallow. Their entire pursuit and hunt is for outward appearances and SEX. It's ok, and expected when you're young. But the ones who never get over this will die unhappy and alone. One night stands and sexual flings are only rewarding and satisfying for a season. Boys, one day you will lose your looks. Gravity will take over your dick and balls. Then what? You're alone and miserable, because your life has not been one of substance. I treat this kind of loneliness every day in my practice.

I think it’s biological to some extent, OP. It certainly doesn’t apply to all people and it certainly isn’t all that anyone cares about.

But there is a certain undeniable priority that men put on the physical attractiveness of their sexual partners, whether they are gay or straight.

[quote]Hi, I'm Larry. I'm a very young 64 year old male nurse. I enjoy collecting Royal Doulton figurines and being dominated and verbally abused my muscular youth. A tad overweight but with eyes to die for ! I hope you don't mind but my penis the size of little gherkin. Did I mention of hypnotizingly beautiful eyes ? You must be 18-32, extremely physically fit, muscular with a minimum of 9" cock and be sexually insatiable for me and me alone. I will teach you what you don't know that I think you should. And please, no phonies or size queens !

I hear you OP (this is R4) but I think it will change as a younger generation grows up-- many of us will have kids, which, as R19 notes makes a difference, and we'll be in legally recognized stable relationships.

Plus Boomers never want to grow up.

And so many of them have a form of PTSD from having most of their friends die of AIDS and from fear of contracting it themselves and dying. And being detested. And being assumed to be AIDS carriers. All that.

Good Lucky Larry!

R19 I agree that kids do change a lot of things, but most gays don't have them and never will and we have to use other means to feel validated.

R21 You're a prime example of the poison that holds gay men down. Thanks for your contribution.

R25 Oh no! A clueless cunt blocked me. Where's my firearm?

R27 My point exactly. We never grow up and accept reality. I think we can do much better if people like you are willing to be honest and try to help break the cycle of misery and doom. Thank you.

Most straight gals are taught by mom & dad to choose social status and financial security over looks (even if they guy looks like an ape, as long as he has a nice house, car and job). So straight men are often laissez-faire with their looks - b/c why bother, it’s not their main asset in the hetero dating game.

Gay men are not taught by parents to marry up. Some do, but most go by basic human instinct - which is attraction to the most attractive. So looks (and their maintenance) play a bigger role.

R30 I agree that we have all had unique struggles and time changes everything. Meanwhile, I think we have to focus on how we can improve our relationships with each other and how we can overcome the obstacles that keep us from maturing beyond the whoring stage. As a whole, we are exceptional in many ways, we just need to work on our badly damaged self-esteem.OP

Sadly, gay men have to work hard to be validated. It shouldn't be, but that's the reality.

Seriously with this shit?

Anyone that is trying to attract men know that looks are important. That is why straight women and gay men care so much about their looks, they are attracting men.

It is why straight men and lesbians care less, they are attracting women.

This is common sense that everyone knows.

Yes OP (this is R37)

I read the Millennial hate on here and thing "if you would just be content to fuck each other, you wouldn't have to worry about us rejecting you."

R39 you are stereotyping!

R36 Typically, gay men are better groomed and more aware of their appearance. That's a good thing to take care of yourself and try to look your best, but our appearance shouldn't be the sole factor to determine our worthiness toward each other. Balance is the key.

[quote]you are stereotyping!

And most stereotypes have some basis in truth.

Men are more visual creatures. Look around you, porn is largely consumed by men. Sexy fiction largely consumed by women.

I think it’s more about whether you immerse yourself in gay culture. I got with my husband when we were both very young and, for the most part, stopped going to gay bars and hanging out in gay neighborhoods, etc. Of course many gay people remained in our lives, but not in any definitive way. Meaning we didn’t have any set of rules, even at that young age, to guide our clothes, nightlife, what have ya. While we are still relatively young and in good shape, we’ve never felt those outsized pressures that seem to worry so many gay men in their thirties and forties. We keep ourselves in shape and try to pit ourselves together nicely, but not in any heightened way.

R38 That's my point, we are definitely at a disadvantage in the validation category among straights because of the procreation aspect. We can't change that so we have to be kinder and more supportive of each other whether we're young and beautiful or not. DL is probably not the best source to promote this, but apparently there are some reasonable people even here.

R39 I get it, looks matter. I'm just saying that we shouldn't let it be the only driving force if you're looking for more than a b.j.

R40 Millennials will (hopefully) be older someday and they will face the same challenges, It would be better for them if older guys set a better example now to help them have a more positive outlook.

R44 Best wishes to you and your guy. Be kind and respectful and look beyond age and beauty. You will be better prepared as age creeps up on you.

OP must be a retarded teenager that has never met or had a significant bond with a straight man.

Humankind in all of its history is one BIG example of straight men favoring youth over experience.