Datalounge in Medieval Times

Sir John of Travolta sure likes to get rubbed down by a squire after a tournament.

OP, she bore her husband a male heir so let's be merciful and just drown her instead.

yon peasant Drumpf hath said the warlock Huckabee Sanders hath taken the form of a woman and speaketh! Let the lumpen ones be burned!

I knoweth not at what hour I ate the corne, but as it was lately issued from my nethers I assume it to be true.

I'm a good Christian, but if I could bugger Prince Timothee I'd do it, even if it consigned my soul to eternal damnation.

You shall die in a grease fire!

Whatever ye do, use not the privies after Cheryle has been there!

Down on your knees!

Milady Balls doth reek like the floor of ye publick house.

Judy's "Almost Like Being In Love" at Carnegie Hall taketh my breath away!

Why doth Lord Spacey grab the genitals of his page boys?

Has he been bewitched?

Where's Erna, the black death contracting hag?

Piers Gaveston, who's had him??

Corn? Whan ycrapped Ich corn?

The kings elf should be burned at the stake, along with The Evil Overseer, Sir John Kelly.

Have ye the news from the tavern? The serving wench had cut a child's pye in twain for it, and the half wytted fool did mewl and cry 'my pye is brokyn, mother!' The serving wench did end this scene of sorrow, with a new slyce. 'Oh fank you!' The half-wit did cry 'You have fixted my pye!"'

I think cowardly misogynists should be burned at the stake.

The comely wench had aspirations of rising way above her station and thus invoked the lust of the loathsome land baron, Lord Small Hands.

Kaftans in harlequin fabrics

I know King Henry VIII has had six wives, but that doesn't prove that he's not family.

He's at the top of my list of those who will come out in 1545.

Tasteful friends...what are our thoughts on the king's bedchamber in Hampton Court Palace?

Nostradamus. Who's had him?

When will some of those minstrels show thy holes?

[quote] The kings elf should be burned at the stake

Who is the king’s elf?

Perfect for your daily visits to your throne.

What to wear if you are not in the mood for surprise anal.

I thought Medieval Times was a schlocky arena dinner theater.

Lord Bannon's debauchery makes itself known upon his countenance.

Trump was the Henry VIII of Slovakavania, whose third wife, Slava, was a bar wench who became Queen Melanoma La Puta.

Queen Berengaria.....beard?

Attend you the tragic tale of Kevyn of L'Ynflysse, once Squire to Sir Aron the Rodgerer, his faithful attendant in his triumphant season as Champion of Joust XLV, unceremoniously replaced by the elddst son of Lord Henry de Stiles. Rumour has it the cheeky lad had his portrait painted (by a most disreputable court artist) wearing Sir Aron's jousting crown. Prithee, does the fair lady Olivia Munne know?

Prince Hal of Englande bethrothed to a landless peasant Moor!

Rumor has it that Sir Roy The Molester has stolen another young maiden from the market without the mother’s permission!

Aye, I have it on good authority that Sir Roy was banned form the market for being such a disreputable blackguard!

Venerable Gays: Tele me abouyt the attacks of the Norsemen. Were any of ye ravaged by the heathen?

^ They ravaged my mussy, if thou knowest what I mean

I adore you, r16.

Ayyy! The knave Jared Kushner enjoys being tied to a pole and then treated in a womanly manner.

A shiny gold splendid for whoever can bring me the head of wench katy perry

Across the land the most lowly of serfs have begun to acquire the most brutish of war-dogs! No one knows from whence these evil hounds come, and they issue forth their foul progeny throughout the shire. Good people of the land, and even the noble men and women dare not travel to market or even to church for fear of being beset by these monsters. Will no one rid us of this danger? Or are we all to die of being torn apart by gnashing teeth!

When will Bryan Singer of Minor House be ousted as the toucher of youths as we vehemently believe him to be? May it happen with haste so that we may shame him further and hang him from the highest tower on castle We Told Ye So.

Prithee, but wolde the farmer's wife Steffend append to thy granary? 'Tis both drasty and straunge.

Hear ye. Hear ye. The Duke of Porn is increasing the dowry on Princesses Eugenia and Beatrice by five gold pieces each.

Lady Debborah of Messington ...

Who was that queynte?

Chainmail condoms? Discuss!

My cunny stinketh.

Sir Mueller the wytchfinder will set things a-right 'ere long! Just ye wait!

I'm am hidden, gazing excitedly through my pane at the handsome knight, when the explosion creates yet another stained glass window.

Thaat old crone Hillary turned me into a newt!

When I shout "Off with their heads!", I'm really asking "Is EVERYBODY in this whole damn village uncircumcised!?"

I am applying for a new niche career as public bathhouse greeter.

Oh that blackguard! it is upon me--- as spoken by Sir Tom as his companion urchin Harrison devours his manhood and consumes the essence of from flowed with

Sessions is indeed, an elf.

The Jester Travolta had an eye of Sacrean manhoods. In fact he made his entire estate a pauper trying to find as many as possible to satisfy his ungodly lusts!

Casey Affleck was branded as a rapist as he was found in a farm sty where he was behaving in a indecorous manner with some pigs.

Sinister lust wizard Jared Kushner stood naked at the top of a tower and called out lasciviously to every man who passed by in a dulcet tone. Many found his lusty behind quite comely.

Chris Jenner coupled with a donkey to give our realms the beast Kim Kardashian!

HI GAYS! MY YOUNGETH HOTETH "BF" JUST LETHEFT, 'WE' MADETH LOVETH AGAIN, CAN YOU BELIEVETH THAT??? BLESSETH, BILL.XOX

Sir Mueller hath decreed that confessions to loathsome treasonous act must be extracted by torture! Prepare Lord Tinyhands the Orange, Sessions the Elf, Knave Jared Kushner, Bannon the Foul, Mercer the hideous, and yes the daughter of Orange and the two Simpleton Sons of Orange be sent to the Tower forthwith!

And sounds of rejoicing were heard throughout the land, and rang through to all foreign soverenties with music and laughter!!

The Countess Garten is a woman of many humours, but the chief of them is wynde.

That heathen hast just uttered unkind words against our Queen!

He must be possessed by a Russian demon most foul!

Lord Drumpf Beheads Yet Another Member Of His Privy Council!

Why dost supple young Renaissance squires insist on creating tapestries showing them in the peak of physical forme?

Hey nonny nonny, R63!

The Renaissance squire in this tapestry has a countenance most displeasing. His left pectoral muscle protrudeth more than his right and his nose looks like that of a large-penised Jew or Italian!

Post tapestries of amply endowed Moors!

There are nothing to whet the mussy like an amply endowed Nubian or Moor!!

These posts most foul are clearly the work of the Lady Of The Bellagio, henceforth to be known as Poo Shoes.

Lady Davida has been possessed by a demon and speaks ill of good Christian folke in all her posts.

I blokteth thee, Lady Davida!

And I blocketh thee, R66!!!

Thy pearls and caftans must be all aflutter from the words most foul that you spew!

Are though from the Principality of Muscovy? A servant of the Dark Lord Putin?

Methinks the demon doth protest too much!

[Rolleth My Eyes]

No one sayeth "Hey Nonny Nonny" anymore R63! Art thou a Northumbiran?

One hateh when Londoners try and useth words from the more northerly regions

Such a strange turn may happen to you if you are a young man left alone with Queen Singer. Why you have a cloth pressed to your face and then you are on your backside with something strange pushed up your shitter!

Dunce Efron sells his wars (Body) on the streets of Cowton betwixt sundown and sunup!

Oh lord! The fairies have ran off with Lady Graham! They have taken him to Hispaniola!

Which Jousters Are Sodomites?

I've heard tales of Sir Aaron The Rodgerer R72. An old hag at the market told me she hath espied Lord Aaron in sexual congress with his young squire Lanfisi.

Renaissance Men Art Snowflakes Most Foul

Perhaps the earth is round but it doth not revolve around them! There has never been a more self-congratulatory generation. Just look at DaVinci!!

R17 Is a courtesan

I'm eating mutton and turnips washed down with some fresh brewed mead. Jealous bitches?

ElderSodomites: Tell me about the Third Crusade

Are the young Arabian bucks as randy and open to sodomy as everyone sayeth?

I just released my best selling scroll I was held prisoner in a Turkish Harem!

Tell us about New Sodom!

Anne Boyelyn is DEAD to me!!!!

Who is't 'mongst thee canst regale ous with joly tales of men who hath pect'ral muscles of swich kynde as jutteth outward?

Was the witch Huckabee, beheaded? She was most foul, she had a forked tongue that never stopped lying.

The Tower is full of sinners and evil doers. Sir Rex insist that he is innocent! He was bewitched by the shirtless man on a horse! He never really wanted to work for THE ORANGE but Sir Vlad beseeched him. He insisted the rewards would be huge!

Medieval MediCare is a burden.

Alack, alas, thou dost not pass As a maiden of face fair For when thou lyft thy skirts aloft There hanging was a pair.

The loathsome land baron and his simpleton offspring will be tossed unceremoniously from thine castle. They have been set upon by Lord Mueller and his trusty ban of cohorts for running afoul of the presidency and allegedly grabbing fair maidens by their pussies.

Oh fie This my daughter's wedding and I am to be her groom!

I Hath Been Weeping Since Viewing Sir Luca's Latest, "The Tragedy of Elio and Oliver In The Summer Villa"

Helpeth me good fellow Dataloungers. I knoweth not what to do to cease my tears Tis as if a witch hath placed a curse of tears upon my head.

I hath seen that play most vile too R88.

They are not true Sodomites as they lie with women as well as men.

Thou art a fool R89 and should be burned at the stake in a grease fire

Sodomy hath always included those who lie with men and those who lie with both men and women.

Twas the latter which most offended Our Lord and caused him to smite the Sodomites

Tis thou who art the fool R90

Men who prefereth the taste of penis-flesh do not also lie with women except to throw off the scent of the Inquisition and save their lives

And in those lands free from the Papal yoke, they do ti to preserve the family name.

Hath thou not heard of bisodomy knave?

Joan of Arc’s COLLAPSE is COMPLETE!!

Mine nephew hath come to yon caftle, yea, with his mother my fister.

My Venus's Honeypot doth have an odour most foul and piteous!

Benjamyn of Barnes Manor wythyn ye Citye of Londone is oft betymes a player of tragydie ynd comydie about the towne. Know ye aught of hym?

Part the VI

By Royal Decree I Verily Grant the Most High Honor of Wit and Wisdom to All who have Posted Herein!

Merrily, friends, let us daunce!

King Richard Lionheart & King Philip of Fraunce - whyche ben the toppe?

R98 that was beautiful. Fanks!

Lionheart, my foote! I have it on authoritie most strycte that Kynge Richard be a bottome full bossy.

Ye plague of blacke: how doth one survive itt?

Richard II -- Massive pussy hound. Big Henry supporter.

Our village alderman, Wes Goodman, denounces the sin of buggery, but lures innocent youths into sodomitical relationships

Lasy Cheryl's honeypot doest possess a putrid stench not unlike a fishmonger shoppe at high tide.

To the Tower with her!

Prince Henry's betrothed doth resemble a hag!

Methinks that Lady Melanie mayhaps was once a gentleman.

^ Melania damn it

I have been named Groom of the Stool!

Jealous, wenches?

George Boleyn's halfway Hever House for strumpets.

Continue your nonsense here...

Drumpf, the Pretender most foulle, hath the smallest codpiece in alle the realm!

R107, if so, how was she able to give birth to Prince Barron?

👑

I longer for the day that Lords Mueller hander down the decree to have the Pretender, Trump, hanged, drawn and quarter. My familye shall enjoy a pleasant afternoon on the green whilst watching that sentence carryed out!

Spelle checke fucketh me up!

I order my dear loyal Lord Mueller to incarcerate Duke Donald Fatfuck of Trump who falsely and treacherously claimed to have fathered me.

Off with Duke Fatfuck's head!

The Lady of Garlands wast amongst the most talented syngers ever. She hast much payne and struggle throughout her lyfe. Despite that, her heart was fyled with spirits goode, hard to encounter such in the theatres of London. At a time when sodomites were oppressed beyond belyfe, they identified with her struggles and she theirs.

Which mystery play actors are sodomites?

The witch Conway this evening supped on roast baby!

It was noted that Lord Graham closeted himself behind some tapestry and watched the rude exercise of the knights and their squires. Sometimes he even dandled himself while watching them.

Hath anyone been to yon cheesemonger who peddleth Redde Dragoun? I was desiring of it and had farthynges aplenty for to paye, but quoth she, "I KNOW YE NOT!"

This is some shit, up with which we will not put.

A bath? that is one kink I can not participate in m'lord

Those rough blackmoors carried off prince jared and prince joshua and we fear that the new lives they will now lead will consist of rough acts most sacred and profane!

I hath enjoyed the finest spices this night upon mine foodstuffs! Jealousse, bytches?

R124, witnesseth R76.

I find it pleasurable to scrutinize the sinewy keepers the King’s animals, but I cannot abide their appendages that reek of cherve.

[quote]The witch Conway this evening supped on roast baby

She must have been Spirit Cooking with Marina Abramovic and John Podesta. John probably had sex with their dinner before slaughtering it.

[quote] Anne Boyelyn is DEAD to me!!!!

What scores were upon the music shelf of her harpsichord?

Ah, the foolish knaves who remove their hirsute bloom in an artifice of youth! 'Tis a look most foul!

Why are Renaissance men such snowflakes?

They are always painting self-portraits and proclaiming themselves the kings of new ideas!

And should one more of those knaves utter "Hey nonny nonny!" in my presence, I will castrate him on the spot!

Fie knave @ r127! Do he not fear the traitors death of hanging, drawing and quartering? Art thou bewitchethed by an evylle spell, or art thou really a foulle conspirator withst the Pretender Drumpffe? Takes care with thine utterances, lest your bodye parts be displayed in the far corner of the realme!!!

There is nothing funny about human trafficking, R131.

Quite the folly at the King’s court today. The jester chastised Lady Cheryl’s poor troubadours, calling them awful minstrels. ‘Twas quite transparent to all of us, excepting the lady, that he speaketh of her offal menstruals.

[quote] By Royal Decree I Verily Grant the Most High Honor of Wit and Wisdom to All who have Posted Herein!

A profusion of letter plates from the upper case of your printing press?? Oh deare!

R133, that was bloody awesome indeed.

Verily, I doth find this kitty.

Is it a kitty rescued from the clutches of the wylde? What hast thou named it?

Sir Percival Bootse Gymmedroppes, R37.

Beg Pardon, R137.

Accursed printing press. LG is purest offal and muck.

For you should have read the scroll verily before posting your proclamation, you swine!

R132 offends, ere, even more dreadful than the plague.

R132 is worse than the guy named Hister that Nostradamus keeps ranting about.

[bold]LODGYNGE HOREUR[/bold] as shodde bin yfoule of straungers shithe. Prithee, advise!

Ye Olde Kittye @r36 appears to possess a human ladye-parts pussy.

But he stroketh his lute like a lover stroking a nether region !

*exhalation*

What execution site art thou bingeing?

Tyburn, Tower Hill, or Charing Cross?

St. Anthony's fire - whom among thee hath suffered from it?

Herein have I read that Pitt the Brad besports him a meat most tiny. I have repaired to my bedchamber, there to mourn.

r127 Oh dear. You just don't get it do you

The legendary iron rod of Sir Jackman has ravished the eager innocence of squire dacre and now it moves to egerton's moise goodness

Sir Jackman cannot be a sodomitical wretch. Asketh his lovely wife, Debborah.

R150 The Legend of Edward II and what went downeth whilst he endured a hot iron rod is a much more tragic and horrific sort.

[quote] moise

Be that a Hebrew name from the Halls of Kynges Solomon and David?

r153 Solomon was quite the slattern. His legs were always open for the mighty schlong of Samson who he mouthed and then invited and settled into his moise anus

Behold! Sarah twirleth in her cloak du vagine whilst in attendance at Festival Musica du Fairer Sex Michigan.

My good Lords, Knights of the Roundlounge! The Lady Hillary hath been cast into yon village pond! And she will not sink. 'Tis true then, verily she is a wytch!

Hear ye! Hear ye! Lord Tinyfingers of Orange hath decreed the Abyssinian Barack the Favored be cast to the loins!

A medieval datalounger wrote this circa 1400. Bow down, bytches!

There in the flower garden

I will die.

Among the rose bushes

They will kill me.

I was on my way,

Mother, to cut some roses;

There in the flower garden

I found my love,

There in the flower garden

They will kill me.

[quote]One of the best known joke books of the Middle Ages is the Facetiae by Poggio Bracciolini (1380-1459). Poggio was an Italian scholar who spent most of his career working for the Papacy, but he also wrote about a wide number of topics and was seen as one of the brightest minds of his time. He explains that he wrote the Facetiae because “it is proper, and almost a matter of necessity commended by philosophers, that our mind, weighed down by a variety of cares and anxieties, should now and then enjoy relaxation from its constant labour, and be incited to cheerfulness and mirth by some humorous recreation.”Here is a joke from the Facetiae:

[quote]The father of a friend of ours had an intimacy with the wife of a downright fool, who, besides, had the advantage of stuttering. One night he went to her house, believing the husband to be away, knocked on the door, and claimed admittance, imitating the cuckold’s voice. The blockhead, who was at home, had no sooner heard him, than he called to his wife, “Giovanna, open the door, Giovanna, let him in; for it does seems to be me.”

Prithee yon Loungers of Data, my loyal smithee hath made a tool of iron for which I mayeth shed the water from yon noodles of Marco Polo ! Fie on thee who chooseth the bowle of iron with holes.

Help! A trycke has spent the night and seems to think I am running some sort of wayfarers' inn. He requested to be fed, and wants hot water for a bath. I just prepared a bath two weeks ago! And I have only one mutton leg here and I'm not sharing! How do I get rid of this scoundrel, DL?

Alas and alack, hearken back of thou wilst to the youthful keeper of the drawbridge who came hither to my castle. He hath fled with all the oxen and geese, the scoundrel!

Oh my lords. Tis terrible news! Ivanka's betrothed Jared and ran off his with brother and now she must marry her own

[quote]Hear ye! Hear ye! Lord Tinyfingers of Orange hath decreed the Abyssinian Barack the Favored be cast to the loins!

Rumor has it that he doth prefer the loins, indeed.

Lol r161

161 Beat him to death!

Behold the Piggess Sarah leavetaking to give homage to her corpulent lord Hog-Trump.

Melania could not have existed in Medieval Times. She is mostly made of plastics..and it does not..compute?

Robin Hood - top or bottom?

Did anyone else look at the new tapestry Friar Fuck?

Come one, come all! We will be once again be presenting nether regions in the town square. Villagers thou are requested to cloak thine visage if thou desires to remain unknown.

Prithee, r161, wouldst thou not putteth mine business on Gropecunt Lane!?!