My Big Fat Greek Robbery!: Actress Lainie Kazan allegedly arrested for shoplifting $180 worth of groceries

Maybe dementia. She teaches a vocal master class in LA. She's still working so should have money.

What's the big deal?

WTF? You can shop lift a bottle of ketchup, or a pound of coffee. Maybe even a ham. But how do you even try to shop lift $180 worth of groceries?

Barbra's getting a chuckle, no doubt.

How embarrassing!

Probably dementia of some kind.

Wasn't their a big fat paycheck sequel?

[quote] But how do you even try to shop lift $180 worth of groceries?

Caviar.

It will look great next to her Lard-o Porcelain!

Did she try to leave the store with a full cart? That’s a lot of $$.

R6 wasn't there?*

It's sad. I think it is a bit of dementia.

Agree she probably just accidentally wandered out without paying. Give the old lady a break.

A girl's gotta EAT!

That's a lot of Windex.

Time marches on. She's 78.

The news reports said she tried stuffing all the groceries into reusable bags, was seen by employees and reported to police as she made a break for her car.

Doesn't sound like dementia.

You can lick her lollipop but you can't lick her!

Gelson’s? 180 bucks of items at that store is about 5 items. No shit.

Don’t cry for Lanie!

I feel like this story was made up just to become a DL thread.

She gets more acting jobs than Michele Lee

Let's hope she's prosecuted like every other shoplifter.

Many people have "reasons" and many people have emotional/psychological issues.

I'm impressed.

Oy Vey!

[quote]The news reports said she tried stuffing all the groceries into reusable bags, was seen by employees and reported to police as she made a break for her car. Doesn't sound like dementia.

I think it does. They can be very determined. It is doing things that they wouldn't normally or logically should be doing.

Poor Lainie. She's finally realizing she's a B-Grade actress at best whose chance at stardom dimmed because she refused to lose weight. She will be forgotten the second she dies

Maybe she notified the newspapers about this, too.

R17, that was what I thought. Gelson's is so overpriced, $180 doesn't get you very far.

R21 = Barbra

Lainie had big fat tits back in the day that you just wanted to rub your face in.

I think you might be at the wrong message board, R29.

Its what we do.

That’s not a crime, r9.

Lanie was not shoplifting. She was filming a scene from My Big Fat Greek Wedding - Part 3.

No, Nia. She was just doing "research" for her roll in MBFGW 3.

LOL, R19.

Her pockets and sweatpants were packed with Windex spray bottles.

Usually this sort of thing is about emotional neediness. They want someone to notice. At least she was using reusable bags. Good for the environment.

She could lose a few pounds...just sayin'

She used to fuck Bob Dylan back in the day. He could give her a few grand if she's that tight for cash.

R36. You're welcome.

--R14.

Lainie recently gave the full story of her time as Streisand's understudy in Funny Girl, at least her side of the story. I have to say, I don't blame Streisand for being upset with her. Lainie was clearly unprofessional with her behavior.

It starts at the 14:30 mark.

It's shocking that Kazan doesn't have a Tony. I loved her in My Favorite Year and I think many people will think of that performance as her legacy.

how sad.

Don’t judge.

My favorite Lainie Kazan scene.

Loving on the other side of the world - in OZ - I first became aware of Kazan at the cinema in an epic ad she did for Air New Zealand...

I was only a little gayling - but I instantly knew she was utterly fabulous.

She was singing while walking along a beautiful beach - in a caftan! - and when I say sing - I mean belting it out! - in between edited in footage of kiwi travelogue gorgeousness.

Didn’t have a clue who she was - but The voice! The hair! The tits!

Yet my interest wasn’t sexual of course - it was more about seeing and appreciating an iconic female form. A force of nature! And one that would be perfect to copy if one were gonna try for a drag persona... (I mean - a boy never knows, right?)

I was overwhelmed by it. And would go back and see more movies - all the while hoping the ad would be played beforehand. And it was quite a bit! Advertising runs seemed to go longer back then...

Anyway - can only find the audio of it. What is Air New Zealand thinking! Should be available to all online! In these troubled times it would be an inspiration and a beacon of hope... sigh.

Lanie helped me know my true self. Forever grateful. (Also grateful to the queen(s) at Air Enzed marketing and their counterparts at the ad agency who put it all together and thought it was a great idea. I suspect it was all a ruse so they could meet her themselves!)

Aging is cruel. Lanie has portrayed the elderly yenta so long most can't even imagine how hot she was back in her day. After seeing Lanie's Playboy pictorial Jack Kirby created a new super-heroine inspired by her.

Lainie gets more acting role than Michele Lee

Lovely Lainie

R25 Clam up, Barbra!

Times are tough and groceries are expensive. You can't blame Lanie for trying.

Lock 'er up!

These day, quality grocers are committing highway robbery. I paid 40 bucks for a smallish french bird to roast for Christmas. It fed 4 with no leftovers. Who can blame ol' Lainie for trying to pocket a few decent things?

I love you, r16

She uttered one of my favorite lines in all of movie history: (in MY FAVORITE YEAR):

"Welcome to our humble chapeau." It kills me every time I see it!

The Music That Makes Me Steal

Lainie was Barbra's understudy in the original production of Funny Girl. The afternoon of Barbra's first scheduled absence from the show, she got her first run through with the full orchestra. At one point, the conductor rapped the stand with his baton and said "No, no, no. Barbara does it like this" and hummed a few bars.

Long, icy silence as Lainie stared the conductor down and finally announced:

"I'm. Not. Barbra."

Who? Show me the photo.

Wow. It looks like a bag lady gang. Jim, look at these people, stealing from a Gelson's. Jason! Go ask someone in the kitchen if Gelson's is a grocers.

Obviously just an old woman getting senile. Fat is bad for you. Why make a big deal about it?

Oh, they say something about her being in the business. Tsk. Jim, turn the page for me. Nails, dear.

First The Countess, Now Lainie! The world id going to Hell in a Hand Basket!!

My dad had the Playboy with Lainie. I think they looked a lot better than Melania's rock-hard frankentits. Time isn't slowing down for any of us, excepting Miss CZJ.

[quote] My dad had the Playboy with Lainie. I think they looked a lot better than Melania's rock-hard frankentits.

That's a separate discussion but generally speaking I agree. If you compare modern and 60s and 70s professional nude photography, the earlier women had an appealing natural voluptuousness modern publishers will not tolerate. Current fashions of yoga and six-pack abs ( not to mention fillers and implants ) lead to a harsh plasticity.

Unfortunately for Laini she let her BMI get out of hand too soon. There has to be a happy medium.

I bet that her pussy stinks.

Lainie seems like the dark negative of Barbra. Babs never had to show her tits to pay the rent.

How galling would it be to start out the same, then watch Barbra shoot to the stratosphere while you did The Mike Douglas Show?

How insensitive of Gelsen’s.

[quote] Anyway - can only find the audio of it. What is Air New Zealand thinking! Should be available to all online! In these troubled times it would be an inspiration and a beacon of hope... sigh.

Here's the full Lainie ad in all its glory Air New Zealander!

[quote] Lainie seems like the dark negative of Barbra. Babs never had to show her tits to pay the rent.

Are you certain of that?

Re-usable shopping bags are the great boon to shoplifting since invention of hands.

I see you, R44!

Lainie was one sangin' b*tch back in the day. Her MGM albums were produced by Don Costa -- she was Morgana King, Maria Callas, Eydie Gorme and Lena Horne in a blender without a lid. Belting, growling, cooing and shrieking; so much fun. If they released her 60s albums digitally or on CD she could make bail.

Sharon Gless, Sandra Bernhard, Lanie Kazan, Michele Lee

Sharon Gless, Sandra Bernhard, Lanie Kazan, Michele Lee

What’s the big deal?

God it must be hard to be Sandra Bernhard.

No one will ever know.

lol.

She looks like Divine in r14's pic. And to all who are saying she's fabulous? She's not. She's fat and boring.

OMG R65!! Thank you!! I haven’t seen that ad since it was made for the cinemas all those years ago!

Fabulous. So glamorous to a young gay man! And that Maori-design decorated caftan!!!

(and I’ve always been very pro-Air Enzed - in spite of them crashing one of those DC-10s into a mountain in the Antarctic not that many years after! - simply because of that ad. Which must be pretty effective advertising to build brand loyalty for that long. Mind you - whether it had that effect on anyone other than similarly inclined young males I’m not in the least bit certain...)

It's just a simple case of Winona Rider Syndrome.

Sharon Gless looks the best in that picture because she is the wealthiest fro her Cagney and Lacey money, plus she has a rich husband. Michelle doesn't look bad, but Lainie and Sandra, such a shonda those punim!!

If Sandra Bernhard hadn't turned down the Miranda role on Sex and the City maybe she would have been the richest one in that photo.

Is Lainie a practicer of cunnilainiengus?

$180 at Whole Foods would have only been about two bags full.

R40: why does she sound like Penny Marshall in that clip?

I think Michelle Lee with her Knot’s Landing money would be richer than Gless.

Purr Lanie. Purr, purr Lanie!

Did she stick any groceries up her twat?

I love that fat dyke

[quote]If Sandra Bernhard hadn't turned down the Miranda role on Sex and the City maybe she would have been the richest one in that photo.

If Sandra Bernhard hadn't turned down the Miranda role on Sex and the City the show would have been shitcanned after one season.

R9 is a deluded basement hussy if she thinks $180 buys a cart of groceries.

She was involved in a head on car accident year that resulted in a likely concussion. That could still manifest itself in subtle ways at her age, including memory loss and changes in personality.

* last year.

That would make last year NOT her favorite year?

She must have the oldtimers disease.

Lainie was always a second stringer, but also always a trouper. I forgot about her career as a belter of ballads and her co-starring with Divine. She owes her later career to the death of Shelly Winters which opened up the yenta and yenta-adjacent roles for her.

Is she broke ??

Nobody's Perfect.

she must have been super sloppy and making herself noticeable. i know for a fact from a alky GF doing it Most stores let it go.

she loaded up a car with a shitload of meat and other food strolling around and la la la'd her way out to the parking lot eventually and no one even said BOO to her.....

a friend that works at luckys or safeway said legally they can't follow you out of the store.

OP, how is someone “allegedly” arrested?

They probably called the cops while she was walking out of the store. I wonder if they knew she was an old has been? I'll bet it's pretty common among that stratum of show business--I remember when Frankie Yancovic, the Polka King was caught shoving steaks down his pants in a neighborhood grocery.

Can You please draw out a diaphragm OP?

It's early dementia. Lainie has money.

Lainie said she's destitute. Will Barbra and Jim help out? It is the holidays, after all.

Lainie is know-nothing trash!

Has C.C. Bloom released a statement?

Did I read right that Lainie ended up performing as understudy for Barbra for only one performance? What happened? What's the beef?

R105: In rehearsals, even as the understudy, the director kept telling Lainie to "do it like Barbra does it," which pissed her off. She was the understudy for I think 19 months and finally, one day, Barbra got sick, so Lainie went on twice. And quit the next day. Heard she left a little "trinket" in Barbra's toilet. Talk about a funny girl!

Lainie didn't do it!! So says her lawyer.

I can't sympathize with someone who spends money to jack up her face with botox and fillers and then steal Comet and a rotisserie chicken.

Good

Good she’s setting the record straight.

Lainie doing people from Funny Girl 1964

Clearly destined to remain the understudy.

"According to TMZ, Kazan left the grocery store with a basket that included Comet and Pledge cleaning supplies, a hot rotisserie chicken, tomatoes, Jell-O and uncured pepperoni."

As I said above, these stores commit highway robbery with their prices. 180? Sheesh! Its not even Moscow, Zurich or Hong Kong.

$180 for some Comet, Jell-O, and a rotisserie chicken? The grocery store was stealing from Lainie - not the other way around!

Her pussy stinks!

Apparently she had done this twice already and even had a fake-out plan. Not looking like it's dementia.

Sure its a psychological problem but I happen to find the "Lainie Finger Smith Kazan" news item charming.

One of the nicest actresses I ever met. And I love that she held her kid's bat mitzvah at a drag club. (I got to go).

More roles for Patti LuPone!

loved her streisand ish voice!!!!!

she was fab on ed sullivan...

luv u babe.

R87 = Lisa Lampanelli

[quote]“Lainie Kazan is not a shoplifter or a thief.”

Who threw that hot rotisserie chicken at me?

Aww my big fat greek cunt ish one of my all ztime favsh.

they should make it illegal to disclose items stolen. that's embarrassing.....thank dog she didn't have any personal hygiene products.

R124, are you serious? We're supposed to be worried about their embarrassment? How about they DON'T STEAL IN THE FIRST PLACE?

r3 Yeah, didn't she try to cut Barbra's throat when she was her understudy for "Funny Girl" on Broadway. Something about the night Kazan went on because Barbra couldn't, and Kazan phoned every reporter in town to be at THAT show to see her.

[quote]Lainie doing people from Funny Girl 1964

Why is she over-enuciating so much? Is English not her first language?

Tsk tsk tsk... what would Elian think?

Maybe Lainie wanted to get caught for the publicity. But the press doesn't seem to care. Shrug.

Maybe Lainie and Countess Luanne should go on the road as an act and do the closing number from Chicago.

[quote] Kazan left the grocery store with a basket that included Comet and Pledge cleaning supplies, a hot rotisserie chicken, tomatoes, Jell-O and uncured pepperoni."

No Windex?

Her maid had already shoplifted the Windex.

She needed comet and pledge to scrub out her nasty smelly old snatch.

Lainie avoids criminal charges in rotisserie theft:

"Instead, Kazan will have to face a panel of community volunteers to discuss how her crime impacted the community."

R134 I want tickets to the community panel presentation starring Lainie Kazan!

R63 Did you ever see Owl and The Pussycat? Do your homework before you post anything about Barbara(real name) $treisand.

R133 The uncured pepperoni was to be shoved up her snatch.

[quote]"Instead, Kazan will have to face a panel of community volunteers to discuss how her crime impacted the community."

Will I be allowed to do it in the form of a song?