Shit on your dick

Try washing it with soap and water.

Then get him to wash up. And then go back to fucking.

Wear a condom, don't be an idiot.

If you put your cock where shit comes from, don't the THAT surprised if you encounter shit at some point.

Like they say at the Big House: “Your shit on my dick or your blood on my shiv.”

How about shit on your mouth? Rimming is no picnic.

Gross

Right R3? Even when I had a long term boyfriend, we would usually use condoms. Built in lube and just generally cleaner/easier.

It's happened, occasionally. I just jump in the shower and move on.

Why OP? What do you do?

And you know this how, r5?

it concludes the session

R10, I’m well-read.

It douches the ass or else it gets the hose again.

I make my bottoms lick it off. Most of them will make sure to take care of cleaning themselves out better the next time.

If they need to skip eating anything for 24 hours before, and doing a triple douche to make sure they are clean all the way up, so be it. Because after the first time, they know they are going to be taking it deep and daddy don't like hitting oil when he's drilling.

You sound delightful. R14

Since I no longer partake in anal sex, my reaction would be ‘Fuck, I shit my pants’?

It was a shitter before you were a fucker, OP.

Shit happens.

But does your asshole stink?

Shit on my dick

Ain't no surprise

Just pour me a drink and I'll tell you some lies

Stop wiping butt from back to front.

Things I May Have Done In A Blackout For $200 - The Non-Sober Eras Of Joey Brill.

Scary: money in my back pocket.

Scarier: shit on my dick

Scariest: Fat, bald guys waving at me when I duck into Ann Sather’s

JFC, you'd think everyone here was a virgin whose sole experience of the human body came from watching porn and whacking off to manga.

Shit happen no matter how zealous you are about hygiene. So do farts, "Klingon" pieces of toilet paper, the occasional skid mark and bad breath. You wipe it off and move on. If you guys are that traumatized by the quirks of the plumbing, maybe you all are just better off alone.

And I'm a top, btw.

Stool me once...

If you stick your dick in an ass what do you expect to find? Salted caramel?

Soap and water and party on!

“He stuck in his thumb and pulled out a plum…”

"Smells like lunch."

I make the bottom clean my cock.

I only use condoms... so I just unroll it like you'd take off a glove and the shit stays inside. I usually don't cum in the condom. I jerk off after on his face or body.

If you play in the sandbox you're going to get dirty.

And sand up your ass.

First smell of shit and I instantly lose my boner, top or bottom. Session is over then and there. It’s mortifying.

LOL.

Delicate.

bump

Exactly what R32 said. Bottoms need to learn to bottom and not let that happen. No way in hell I could keep going as a top in that situation. I know there's shit in there, but by the time we're fucking it should be little particles here and there maybe, but not enough to actually notice.

Bottoms have to be punished for soiling a top's dick, because bottoms by nature are lazy and will get fat and sloppy in hygiene if allowed to..

If a bottom insults me by serving up a dirty ass once it belongs to me, I start off with a beating and a soapy cold water enema to teach them how to clean themselve out. And we go from there. Second incidence, they are forbidden to eat for 36 hours before the fucking and I make them drink a bottle of Magnesium Citrate the day before. Plus the soapy cold water enema to finish things up a few hours before the scheduled fucking.

A Southern friend of mine refers to this phenomenon as a "shitty kitty."

........

Post Chipotle sex is the worst!

Another reason I'm glad I'm old now. I don't know what I would have done to someone like r36 if I'd run into him in the '70s.

I’m married and will only bottom if I douche, usually takes several flushes but by then I’m confident I’m clean as a whistle.

R41 Do you usually top?

No I’m usually bottom

METAMUCIL is the bottoms best friend. Two big glasses daily.

Do we need to send all bottoms to finishing school?

It is simple: An asshole is not a reproductive organ, it is designed to expel human fecal matter. However, since the human race no longer undergoes the rules of natural selection, the sad psychological impairment of homosexuality has infected the species. Natures way of dealing with this conundrum would be Darwinism at its most brutal. All you have to do is look at the Kalahari bushmen, they don't have a single gay member, natural selection weeds them out. They spend their days running through bush, butt naked, while carrying only a bow and arrow on the hunt for antelope.

[quote]METAMUCIL is the bottoms best friend. Two big glasses daily.

serious question: how does fiber make a difference? it just makes your bm's regular and s-shaped but won't you still have some residue even then?

it all comes out quite cleanly with what one on here has referred to as "ghost wipes". Of course showering afterwards but no "peanuts" to be discovered later on. Somehow it all gets bound up with virtually no residue.

R37 You would be correct. That's what we southerners do refer to it as.

Isn't butt sex a great way to deal with constipation?

wha'ts the ghost wipes reference::?

Unless you're willing to starve yorself for 48 hours, there will always be shit, to a greater or lesser extent.

I've heard it's the worst in the Wiziristan madrasahs over in Pakistan. The young boys have a diet solely based on chapati bread dipped in a runny curry sauce. They also only wipe their asses with their left hands and only get to shower once a month. So, when the local mullahs' butt rape the boys after a hard days brainwashing from the qu'ran, fecal spray is not unheard of.

use it as lube ;)

r50 nothing sticks to the paper due to no residue

washed my dick, sent my man to the shower after kissing him and telling him not to worry, fucked him again.

And you think I like been touched by your ugly, meat appendages?

Gay men are so gross

Omg

Beautiful

RIP dear OP