Name a dirty thing you did to a straight guy you thought was hot

When I was a teenager, I worked in a place that held weddings, and we had one that was Scottish, so the men were wearing kilts.

Anyway, the groom was really fucking hot but was being made fun of by the other men for wearing underwear (kilts are supposed to be worn commando). So he took his underwear off. They went into the main room for speeches, and he left his underwear on a table in the other room. I decided to collect some glasses at the same time, got to his table and as there was no-one around, I had a quick sniff of his pants.

My fave drunk straight guy trick. I have big pecs. Its from working out and genetics, so if I wear a clingy shirt I get comments and looks (usually in bars) Anyways in a bar straight guys always ask or say something, so I tell them that they're implants , end result always being them needing to feel them

I stole a pair of unwashed anonymous bikini underwear out of the barracks laundry room, sniffed and jacked off in them. I laundered them and returned them to the laundry room.

This one isn't me, but a friend of mine. For context, he's quite literally the dirtiest person I know, and is into some very freaky shit. I have another one about him too.

So he worked in a garage many years ago and this hot guy used to come in on his way home from the gym. One time he left his bag in the shop. My friend, whom we'll call J, looked through the bag, found a jockstrap, took it with him on his lunch break, masturbated into it and then put it back in the bag. The guy came back the next day to collect the bag... and never came into the shop again.

15 was the first time I actually screwed around with a guy, gay or straight. My friend and I were in the basement and I straight up asked him " can I suck your dick....I just want to see how it feels. I'm curious." Bwaha, that sounds hilarious now. He looked kind of shocked when I first asked, but then he kind of apprehensively said yes, and I did suck him until he cummed. I still think that was pretty bold of me to do that.

TIWTHU

So the other story is this.

J and I were friends with S, a hot straight guy. We used to go out clubbing together. One night we had been out and gone back to a friend's house to smoke weed. S, J and me were sitting on the sofa in that order. S decided to put his feet up over J and me. Which was fine as we all fancied him.

We sat like that for a few minutes. J was sitting there with his eyes closed, while S looked slightly uncomfortable. It felt a lot like he was trying to move his legs away from J. Anyway, S got up to go to the toilet and when he came back, he didn't put his legs where they were.

A couple of days later, I asked S what was wrong. He said that J had a hardon and was rubbing it against his leg!. Later, I asked J whether S putting his legs over him had turned him on, he said why do you say that. I said because you were rubbing your cock against him. He was then embarassed and claimed he didn't realise S could actually feel it.

I was a fat kid in high school, one of guys was the captain on the wrestling team was hot as fuck and I jerked off thinking about him all the time. They has a commercial washer and dryer in the locker room were an assistant would wash the uniforms after practice. The assistant was in a car accident and was laid up so I ask if I could fill in. The coach looked at me questionably as I was far from a jock, but he agreed. So I had access to all the soiled jockstraps and wresting singlets. The wrestlers all wrote their name on the jocks and singlets so I knew who was who. Most of them treated me ok a couple would dismiss me but that was to be expected. I was giving keys to the gym and would wash all the jocks and singlets late like 7pm when no was around . I would find my favorite wrestlers soiled jock and singlet and smell it and jack off. It smell like right guard and sweat . It was awesome. Then I would wash everything

A week later the assistant came back to work but the coach asked me to stay on, I was able to steal my favorite wrestlers jock and singlet and replace it with a new one writing his name on both, he had no clue. I still have it packed away somewhere 40 years later

Fucking pigs. But interesting stories.

I was the first person to eat his hole out. We were in our late teens,and I had been around the block while he was totally inexperienced. Cute in a nerdy jock sort of way. One thing led to another,and while I was down there lustily sucking his cock,I slid a little lower and started munching that hole. My god,he screamed and writhed like he was on fire,then begged me to stop or he was going to shoot. I kept going and next thing you know Ive got a big pile of sperm in my hair and he was biting his forearm to muffle the screams of ecstacy ! i bet I wasnt the last one to eat that hole.

You love it, Mary r9.

Say yes to his drunken request to try sex with another man. It was a one-time thing but I'm glad it was with me.

Having that come at you?

When I was in the Army and had CQ duty there would always be some passed out drunk you would have to put to bed. I would always molest them while beating off. Sometimes they would be half conscious which would make it hotter. They knew something was going on but couldn't do anything to stop it. It made it hot knowing I might be their unreachable memory that was fucking their life up. If they were really out cold sometimes I would open their mouth and shoot my load in.

Had a picture I sneak took of this straight guy in the shower. Must have shared it on the internet a million times.

Jerk off to his cover photo for Rolling Stone.

R14 You can expect to be served papers for those antics shortly, DL stories get forwarded around like crazy , what you did was rape

Sure Blanche. Find a victim.

"Served papers," r17?

Oh, my sides!

I’m not proud of this, but after college I roomed with this hot straight guy (he won state in wrestling so you can imagine the body). He was a really nice guy, and here I was, this 21 year old gay guy with no experience and all this pent up sexual energy. He would jerk off every day before work (he told me), and then leave. I would proceed to go in his bathroom and fish out his cum filled Kleenex and suck on them while I jerked off. I look back and shudder a little, but I guess I wasn’t hurting anyone.

"Antics"!!!

I would sneak into the room of a straight guy who lived in a boarding house and smell his undies. We became friendly and would go to bar together and return to my place drunk, I'm sure he knew I was gay and he flirted a bit but I never took the bait, too scared. He would leave things in my place and I would wait until I heard him leave his shower and go knock on his door to return it hoping he would answer naked. He answered wearing a towel or his undies. Amazing body handsome as fuck but no bulge ( maybe he was a grower). I still wonder what would have happened if I tried something with him...I might have gotten a black eye or a mouthful of cum.

I've shared naked pics of a few straight guys I knew. Turn me on knowing their cocks and asses are out there and getting circulated.

I can't get enough hot male butts, butt pics, etc. Nothing turns me on more than a big, round ass on a cute guy. In a stealthy manner, I snap picks of hot male asses on the street, in the hallway at work, at the gym, anywhere that I encounter them. They are clothed of course, but this doesn't bother me. The vast majority (if not all) of these men are straight. I have jacked off to said pics a million times - fantasizing about how I would molest and dominate them if I had the chance.

A god from the rowing club used to leave the library each evening at 7.50 and I decided to follow him. I saw his head disappearing to the basement toilets, and I had a look under the stall. He was standing up jacking. I waited until he had finished and left, went into the stall, and the walls and floor were flooded with cum. So next night I was waiting for him, stall door open, and jacking off. He looks at me, and I said I'd like to blow you, and got to do it. Became a regular thing for the rest of the semester. Checked him out in Linkedin recently----hot after 30 years.

I don't think he's straight.

OP must know I'm guilty of doing things to, and with, a straight guy. Like R10 I found the tissue that a guy who I lived with used to catch his cum. I still have them. Gave head to a straight friend who was passed out. Went into the bedroom, while my straight friend was sleeping with his wife and grabbed his cock (was not caught), in college while my friends were sleeping after a poker party I checked them out, sucked a straight friend off while his brother and dad we sleeping in the next room (he acted like he was sleeping), but I was caught one time. After a friend's bachelor party, the soon-to-be-married's brother stayed at my house and I grabbed a feel when I thought he was asleep - he let me know the next day that he knew what I was doing. I'm older and hopefully somewhat wiser now.

Twenty years ago I had a beautiful straight roomie who I was crazy about. We were inseparable, did everything together. He hardly ever dated girls, and never got laid. We lived together for three years, people would joke that we were like an old married couple. In the mornings we'd go into the bathroom together, he'd shower while I shaved, then we'd switch. We were always naked together, even if we were somewhere else. We'd sometimes nap together, and we'd stare into each others eyes intensely. Needless to say I was a total wreck, the teasing was driving me mad. The last night we lived together he got drunk, and passed out. I unzipped his pants and sucked on him for a couple of minutes, he got hard, and I felt guilty and stopped. He said nothing the next morning, but he apparently told everyone, which effectively outed me. We did eventually talk about it, but despite his saying he still wanted to be friends, it destroyed our friendship. That's the biggest regret of my life. He got engaged once, called it off, eventually got married, and I think is now divorced. I still love and miss him.

Many many years ago when I was a teenager I was crazy about a kid named Pete. He was a year younger than me, and we were both members of a church group that met every week. He was tall and skinny and handsome with this goofy grin that I found irresistible. There was a party held in the church and when he bent over to tie his shoe I noticed he was not wearing any underwear. I went to him and said he had a hole in the back of his pants, which got him all upset. I took him to the bathroom (how no one walked in I'll never know) and told him to take off his pants and I would try to fix the hole. He did, and displayed a skinny cock that had to be about 6 inches long flaccid, with a thick black bush (I was surprised as he had blonde hair). Unfortunately that was the only time I saw him naked.

R28, well, you DID orally rape him, so....

Made up dirty lyrics to the theme song to his sitcom.

Thank you for being more offended than he was R30, but he forgave me decades ago. There was untimately no choice for him to choose another path. It was a different time.

I ass-fucked him. He said his girlfriend didn't like to have sex often. But of course since he was bottoming it doesn't really seem like a good reason to me. He came without jerking and was amazed at "how good it feels."

Yeah, two of the hottest guys that I ever topped anally were "straight" studs. One was married with two kids and the other also married but only 20 yoa (not sure whether or not he fathered children). Neither kissed, sucked cock, etc. Both loved dick in the ass (and a tongue LOL) and after they got off - promptly put on their clothes and walked out. One was a repeat but only every 3 months or so. Very transactional and nothing more. I really do believe that both guys were mostly straight but anal curious.

[quote]I found the tissue that a guy who I lived with used to catch his cum. I still have them.

JFC.

Bump

Yeah, op. He was a dumbfuck because he didn't know you were a freak-o thief wearing his underwear.

in college, my roommate’s beefy hot brother slept on our couch from time to time. i was up for my morning run, and he laid there, passed out, the fly of his boxers open wide. i lingered for a few seconds and enjoyed the view.

damn, you bitches make me feel like pollyanna.

Holy fuck, these stories are perverted. I’m loving them despite my better instincts, which tell me that if this most of this shit were perpetratred on women, it would seem criminal. Only the army one has me clutching my figurative pearls, however. I guess I figure straight men aren’t in the power dynamic that women are. Still, a lot of this is skeevy.

He said to bite his foreskin, so I did and it bled. I think he should have told me to "nibble" instead.

I'm getting tired of gay men being expected to automatically agree with women or be branded a sexist. Good gay allies recognize that heterosexuality is the root cause of sexism.

Dear Nifty,

This thread is so full of shit.

Yeah? Your point, r37, hunty?

Dear farter at r42, then get off it, why don'tcha, bitch?

This rarely happens in real life. It happened after I binge-watched [italic]Blue Mountain State[/italic].

Only in my dreams, of course.

My "straight" roommate during a year in college and a while afterward (he did have sex with lots of women) used to bring them home drunk off their asses and bang them on the living room sofa. I had a safe spot to watch him fucking them. Generally the view was right up his ass. He was 6'2", played rugby in a league and had been a decathalete in college. Magnificent with the widest shoulders I've ever seen and a bubble ass with dents in the side. Hairy the way I like. I was careful not to touch myself when I watched them cause I would cum in an instant.

I blew him many times when we were drunk or stoned and twice he forcibly fucked me. No asking, just held me down and fucked me with no lube or prep. I was almost his size, so not easy. Yes, the dynamic between men is different. I loved every second.

He is a now a right wing asshole from Long Island with a FB profile picture of his 3rd wife, himself, and two of his six kids somewhere in Jerusalem. Stiffest dick I ever ran into.

I picked up a colored mans handkerchief and put in in my husband's suit pocket when I was angry with him for going to that bachelor party in Las Vegas. He never knew

R47 wins! R28 I would try to reconnect. What can you lose? The worst thing that can happen is that he won't reconnect and you would be in the same place you were before- with more information.

P.S. Have felt up, jerked off, sucked off, undressed, kissed and carried many a drunk, straight guy. Some helped, some knew and never said anything, some wanted it for their own reason, some came back for second helpings, and some never knew. It is still the only time sexual anything had a risk.

My mom rented an apartment to a hot guy once. While she was painting another apartment, I used her key to go into his place while he was at work. I just poked around and sniffed some underwear.

I was deeply closeted during my freshman year at university and a handful of smoking hot muscular straight guys lived on my dorm floor (and other floors in the same building). While I joined a top fraternity and had sexual relationships with girls, I usually whacked off daily to fantasies about the previously mentioned boys. The laundry room was in the basement and I soon took to doing my laundry at the same time as many of my sexy male crushes in an attempt to have a captive audience. As the months went on, I realized that I could get more out of this situation.. I swiped a good 10/15 pairs of smelly, soiled, post-gym underwear when they left the room and before they washed their little briefs, thongs or gym shorts. Later while masturbating, I sniffed the ass part of the briefs and jerked to the thought of licking/fingering/fucking their asses. To make the theft less obvious, I usually replaced the sweaty underwear with new briefs that I had purchased just for the swap (often, I threw in a pair of my own instead). As far as I know, not a one of them ever said a word about it or figured out what I had done. Those were the days...

If this WERE Nifty, none of the stories would end so anticlimactically.

Heh, heh, I said climax.

You not getting the point, op/r43, just confirms you're the dumbfuck. You're also obviously a fucking nutjob.

- someone who doesn't steal underwear and wears them while passing the victim of their creepy fantasies to get his rocks off

You not getting the point, op/r43, just confirms you're the dumbfuck. You're also obviously a fucking nutjob.

- someone who doesn't steal underwear and wears them while passing the victim of their creepy fantasies to get his rocks off

A post so stupid, stupid r52/r53 posts it twice.

I'm sorry for you that you're such a fucking, judgmental bore. It was a pair of cheap undies he never missed, not his cherry.

Blew him while he was passed out drunk. Swallowed it too.

Op still won't acknowledge he's a fucking psycho.

r56 needs to look up the fucking psychos of history. And while Missy's at it she can look up a picture of a tight, unfucked cunt. She will recognize herself right away.

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID.

I've sniffed so many underwear/socks/shoes of straight dudes I couldn't list them all here.

My favorite was my friend's distant cousin, who stayed with me for a few nights. He was Italian, spoke little to no English, and came out of the shower and into my living room nude....with, truly, the biggest flaccid cock I've ever seen.

No, nothing happened (this ain't Nifty or Tumblr) but don't think I wasn't gonna get a good whiff of those briefs. And I did.

More Vincent ...

What dirty thing did you do to him, r60?

I watched The Brown Bunny.

Nothing but filth on this thread!

There once was a mysophiliac from Nantucket...

Has anyone ever submitted a request to one of those straight-bait websites, where you send them the guy's social media info and they pretend to be girls and get the guy to send naked pics and videos? Asking for a friend.

When a straight friend mooned me, I put my nose in his ass. He laughed, but I think he liked it. That's all.

R66, that sounds damn hot - assuming that said ass was a sexy one.

It was, R67. A swarthy Italian boy(we were in our teens).

Bump

A dirty thing a straight guy would do to ME. I was a closet case my freshman year. I had a very cocky handsome friend who'd drive us to the mall and supermarket. He never asked if I was gay or said anything about it but he knew and it delighted him that he knew. He would stick food down his jeans to shop lift. In the car he would pull it out slowly, first kind of fumbling around, and then say here I got you a treat and give it to me with a shit eating grin. I loved every minute of this game and we played it many times.

Had two straight roommates in my early 20's both hotter than shit. The one I was most attracted to was always bringing chicks home and banging them, then he would take them to their homes. One night after he left with this one girl, I went into his room and found a used condom full of his cum, I tasted his cum. That was the first cum I ever tasted.

R71, that was filthy, depraved, and disgusting. MORE! Tell us more!

That is so gross, r71! Cum taste better when it’s fresh & hot!

Sniffed the hot UPS delivery guy’s butt, while he was mending down to pick up a huge package.

I’m always taking pics of unsuspecting hot guys whether I’m out and about, at work, at a restaurant, a club, etc. I used to have a hot co-worker who always sported a huge package while he was sitting down. Once when we were eating lunch together (he was seated across from me) I slyly had my phone in my lap and discreetly shot pics of his crotch. I didn’t know how they would turn out, but they ended up nice and clear.

I took a jockstrap from my hot dude bro I worked with. We went to the same gym. He was perfect, gorgeous ass, dirty blonde hair, muscles, lean type build, like a hot basketball player or quarterback. One of the biggest and most beautiful dicks I ever have seen. WHEN he was in the shower, I took his jockstrap and stuck it in my bag. I had planned to do this for awhile but had to wait till nobody else was in the locker room. I spread it across my face for many a jo session. That summer, he painted my aunt's house for extra money, shirtless and in old shorts. I was over there often.

Mmm, R76, the memories, and memories of fantasies you have stirred. Fucking hot.

in the laundry room of my old building, I stole the training bra of the special ed girl who lived there with her aunt.

During college, I was in a band with a hot guitarist (smooth, blond, moderately muscled), and we occasionally had to sleep in the same beds in different cities when we toured (small towns, colleges, etc.). One night I couldn't take the sexual heat from his proximity in his underwear, so I furtively felt him up over his undies (I thought he was asleep, found out later he was pretending). He got hard, but that was the extent of it. Nothing was said. I jerked off in the bathroom and never came so hard.

A few weeks later, the same situation arose (heh), but this time as I started he said my name, and told me if I was going to do that, he should really take his underwear off, at which point I gave my first awkward blow job. Again, nothing ever said outside the room. Occasionally did it again several times, always with me instigating, and him being passive, but clearly excited and willing. No kissing or other affection.

The thrill of the feeling of sliding down the elastic tighty-whities and feeling rough bush and hairy legs rubbing on mine has fed my fantasy life ever since.

r78 didn’t understand the assignment.

R71s post was removed? how vile was it ? was it that bad?

R71 is still there

I had sex with my ex's son for revenge. I was nice to the kid, but it did about kill his father.

Good.

You sound classy

Oh, I included it here because the father always insisted he was straight and used his wife, their sex life and their kids as proof.

Ha.

And you're a useless, lifeless cunt, R83. The DL deserves more of me and much less of you.

Another laundry related story:

Had a friend in high school who I had a crush on pretty much the entire time we were there. We weren't super close, sort of casual - in the same assigned class, friends of friends, etc. We became better acquainted over time through that, sharing classes, working together on projects, etc. He was very cute (why else would I be crushing, right?) - tall, slim, dark hair, handsome face, had that lovely permanent natural tan skin tone (not sure what his ethnic background was but I suspect there might've been some Latin in him, maybe Italian) . He was a genuinely nice dude as well, which added to the crush. I can't tell you how many times I jerked off over the years fantasising about him.

Anyway, we hung out at his house a couple of times through the years, sometimes in a small group, sometimes not. This one occasion it was just the two of us, working on an assignment for English (we'd been sat next to each other by the teacher who liked to choose where people sat in her classroom to ensure BFFs didn't sit together and chat all the time, which didn't work). We're in his bedroom, and he has a laundry hamper near his wardrobe. The friend says he's gonna go get drinks and snacks and goes downstairs. I knew he'd take a couple of minutes and my puberty induced hormonal perpetual horniness took over, and I decided to go for it. Went over to the laundry hamper, had a quick rummage, found a pair of his black boxer briefs and a pair of black sport socks, and took a little time to sniff them. Was very erotic, even though it was brief. They just had that musky, slightly sweaty, used smell, just enough for it to be a turn on. I didn't take them, though (sometimes still kinda regret that actually hahaha). Popped a boner, of course, but managed to put them back without him noticing before he came back in the room. The memory of it was A grade wank bank fodder afterwards.

That's really the only thing from me though. I'm pretty vanilla lol.

College; drunk friend Matt, blow job. Volleys of cum. Delish. End of story.

R83. How did your ex find out? Did you tell your ex that you had sex with his son? Or did the son tell his father he had sex with you? Or did the father catch you and his son having sex?

I am guilty as well of slurping cum out of used condoms. I surprised myself. It happened in my 30s and with a guy I met and fucked in a cruise park maybe 2-3 dozen times over a couple of years I was really horny. We always fucked safe. One time about 15 fucks into our "knowing" each other (I never knew anything about him) he drove me absolutely wild with desire and he came, pulled up his jeans, smiled said ciao, and disappeared into the bushes. I could see his filled condom on a branch and seized with gluttony, guzzled it. It tasted great. I wasn't even a fan of cum. I did about 4 more times after that. Then the novelty wore off and it seemed disgusting again.

Well, I fucked that up. Because obviously my park buddy wasn't straight. Oh well. scusey

It was hot nonetheless, R90!

Wow. Some of you really live on the edge. You hang around in laundry rooms a lot too.

Bump

More!

When a roofing company was installing a new roof on our townhouse (a group of 11 townhouses that were run by a condo board), a roofer accidentally hit a water-line directly under roof (bad design of course, but my place was built back in the dark ages I assume). As luck would have it, I was home for lunch (my office was 2/3 minutes away then) and when water stated pouring down through the living room chandelier - I knew that something was amiss. Minutes later, I was yelling for the crew to stop and frantically searching for the cut off valve outside in the flower bed. This gorgeous, 6'3", handsome-faced, strapping, muscular, dirty blond Adonis showed up about 30 minutes later to help out. I guess that he was some sort of a manager at the company. He was ridiculously kind, apologetic and helpful and stayed the entire afternoon - just there to ease my anxiety over the house partially flooding I assume. He ran out and bought 30 to 35 towels to sop up water the best he could. He crawled up into the attic to assess and stop the damage and basically did whatever he could to aid in the nightmare (the three story townhouse had leaked water from the roof to all three floors). I could not take my eyes off of his perfect ass (and body) when he ascended the attic ladders. The man was breathtakingly hot IMO and maybe a couple years older than I at that time (he had a little gray in the blond hair but looked to be a sexy 32 yoa or so). His ass resembled two basketballs in his tight jeans and his legs were long, lean and muscular. His wife called about 3 times that day and they discussed their kids. He pulled out a ladder to check the ceiling fixture in the living room (12 foot ceilings) and the ladder started to slip on the sopping wet floor. I jumped in and immediately grabbed and stabilized it the best that I could when next he started to loose his footing on the ladder. Instinctively, I grabbed handfuls of his perfect round ass and kept him from falling. As lewd as it was - he thanked me repeatedly and didn't blink an eye. To this day, I know that I prevented an accident - but I am sure that I could have been less aggressive in my attempt to grope and squeeze what I had been lusting after for hours. Who knows...he didn't blink an eye so perhaps he didn't take it as inappropriate at all. Or he just turned a blind eye. I still jerk off to the experience. Damn, that was one fine man.

PAGIING ALL GREASE FIRES:

PLEASE REPORT TO R57.

You still have a chance before she's hauled off to jail!

Great story, R95!

R49...no offense intended, but what if your mom had done that too? What would you think?

Bump!

I made him use paragraphs.

r96 has a major amount of sand in her vadge.

I poked the nipple of a sleeping drunk hot boy on a night train. Somewhere in the Alps. Couldn't resist.

Then again, I don't know if he was straight, so that might not fit this thread.

Bump

R83 = Ms. Kristen Blake DiMera

OP - you're pathetic, you know that right? Stop advertising it

Frau alert at R105.

Around eight grade, my best friend had a bunch of Playboys and Penthouses chockfull of cum stains. One time he left me alone in his house and went to pick up a pizza with his dad. I ravenously licked every cum stain I could find before adding my own.

Gross

If it isn't for you, r108, fine, but do fuck off this thread if you're not into any of this.

Lunatics are so touchy

Oh, cunt r110, do go away.

It's gross because the cum was old, cold and crusty, not because it was cum!

Who cares?

When I was 12 my 21 year old cousin moved in with us to take a job in our area after college.

He'd been a championship swimmer, so I would put his speedos on my face and jack off sniffing them.

He once offered me a ride on his motorcycle and I relished getting to put my hands on his sculpted abs.

Beyond being physically attracted to him, I fell in love with him. It was a mess. A painful mess.

Cut to years and years later. Once I got to college I was over the "love" thing, and we'd hang out all the time.

I moved across the country, and came out of the closet. I made a big mistake, though. When I came out of the closet at age 22 to my cousin, I told him I'd been attracted to him as a kid. I don't know why I felt the need to say that. Ever since then, things have been different between us.

Ah well.

I like to leave big snakes in the toilet at work and then slide out under the door of the locked stall and let maintenance find it a few hours later. To get back at them.

After a very drunken college swimming party, I discovered the very hot guy I'd been lusting after all afternoon was passed out face-down on a guest room bed. All he had on were his wet board shorts. I was able to slip them down over his ass and down to his knees. It was then a simple matter to take them off altogether. Had he awakened, my excuse was going to be that I didn't want his wet shorts to soak the bed.

I sat next to him on the bed and lightly ran my hand over his back, ass and legs, paying particular attention to his ass. I slowly ran my hand deeply between his buttocks and grazed his asshole several times. Seeing that he really was solidly passed out, I got bolder, pressing against his anus with my right middle finger. He slightly clenched his buttocks. I applied a generous amount of spit to my finger and started a genuine rectal insertion. The buttock clenching got more intense. When my finger got up to the first knuckle, he slightly came to, mumbling something like, "whasgoingon?" "Shhh," I said. "I'm just taking your temperature"—which actually appeased him! He immediately blacked out to oblivion again. and had no idea that I then jacked off to climax within seconds afterward.

When I was finished, I covered him with a blanket so he wouldn't be embarrassed if someone came into the room and discovered him naked. I saw him again socially several times after that and he never gave any indication at all that he knew what I had done to him. And I'm sure he didn't.

Now THAT'S pervy

Well done.

They’re coming for you, R116

Hey, R118, it was worth it. Did I mention that the drunken swimmer looked kind of like a young version of James Franciscus? Fuck, he had a nice butt!

A reversal of the #metoo Zeitgeist, with confessions of offenders issued proudly!

Straight guy victims of DL. Who knew?

OMFG these stories! Some of you were lucky you didn't get the shit beaten out of you - or worse.

I'm the same as r38. My smoking hot straight roommate freshman year of college slept in his boxers, and many mornings he would be sleeping on his back, with his big raging hard-on poking out. He had a beautiful dick. Of course, I would stare for a little while then promptly run to the bathroom and take care of business. And I thought I was kind of pervy for even doing THAT, I have nothing on a lot of you guys!

R115, you are those nasty fucks who don't flush the toilet after dropping a deuce. Flush bitch!

R121 He was waving at you with his big cock to come over and suck it already. You must have really frustrated him, especially after all the maneuvering he had done to ensure he got to room with the gay—thinking he would be able to use your gay mouth daily for his relief.

Pervs

Smelled and stole his Jockstrap

My college roommate was a straight arrogant asshole always wearing tight clothes to show off his bod. He was over 6 feet tall, 205 lean pounds with broad shoulders that tapered down into a small 29" waist that bubbled out in the back into the biggest rounded bubble butt imaginable. One day he sassed me and I threw him to the ground. We struggled for a few minutes until the strain became too much for his tight pants and you could hear the material ripping when his pants were torn from his bod, He was wearing only a pair of way too tight, way too small red bikini briefs that were stretched to the limited by his huge ass mounds. I held him on the floor on his hands and knees with his ass in the air and barely covered by the skimpy bikini briefs that were creeping up his hot ass. Went the assault on Mark's ass with only the thin cotton material of his wildly small briefs for protection. I slapped him hard on his ass! He struggled to get free but this only caused his briefs to ride further up the crack of his ass. I could have fucked him but I thought that was going too far.

This is for R126, but may apply to a few others in here.

I'm not normally the Sure, Jan guy, but. . .

The only thing recently I did was when drunk with my straight neighbor, we stumbled back to his place, just only did a little horseplay - fully clothed, but it was hot. When he passed out drunk, I put some MMF porn playing on his tv and left it on repeat. When he woke up, he asked me if we watched it, and I just said "you watched a little then fell asleep, I kept watching it and j/o to it." He just shrugged and said omg haha.

Yeh, boring.

....

@R1 - I really want to know what kind of undies the hot kilted groom was wearing. Please tell all!

commando

I threw a garbage bin in his face while mocking him about his heterosexuality.

And then I made him eat my dog's poo.

Yea, pretty dirty, I know.

Wow some of you guys are TOTAL PERVERTS.

My son's math teacher is a hot piece of ass triathlete who competes all over. Nice handsome man, looks Superman. Got to know him at parent conferences, discovered we have a mutual acquaintance who runs a popular upscale restaurant and bar. I said I would treat him to dinner sometime...he also coaches my son in track. He said sure, and we recently went, both of us drinking too much, but him a lot more than me. He was too drunk to drive and asked if I could drive him home. When we got inside his place, he was very sleepy, told me to make myself at home, he wanted to change into jeans, and then he'd get us a couple beers. He didn't return from his bedroom for quite awhile and when I called his name and heard nothing, I went to his room. He was sprawled on his bed, dress pants at his ankles, shoes off. He was asleep, sort of. I said his name and he said what. I asked him if he wanted help getting undressed, he said yes. I pulled off his dress pants, admiring his muscular, hairy legs and thighs and the patch of bush peeking above his boxer briefs. I could see a little of his lower torso. Since he just laid there, mostly asleep, I figured w t f. I laid down beside him, kicking my shoes off. Looking at his face, I dared to run my hands up his legs. He stirred slightly. His dick jumped. I kept lightly rubbing his legs. He sighed and then said, my dicks hard. I kept looking at him and dared to run across his dick. He said something like mmm and shoved half his underwear down, enough for his beautiful dick to pop up and balls to spill out. Man, he said, I need to cum. He was not speaking distinctly, still mumbling. Then he said he had to pee and drunkenly stood and stumbled his way to the bathroom. When he returned, the boxer briefs and his dress shirt were gone, his dick was nearly fully hard. He flopped on the bed and said again, man, I need to get off. OK, I said, want me to help. Sure man, he mumbled. W T F, I thought again. I sucked his dick, slurped and put his nuts in my mouth and told him to turn over. His ass was inviting and round. I spread his cheeks and kissed them. I rubbed his hole, clean and aroma free, thank you girls who worry about straight men's wiping, flipped him back over and sucked. Didn't take long for him to say, I'm coming. I wanted to watch, so I stopped sucking and rubbed his balls. He shot, not real high as I had hoped, but a good amount. I watched him awhile as he half slept, wiped up his come, covered him up and left. I haven't called him back, but he left me a voicemail, thanking me for the dinner, drinks, and fun. Not sure if he even knew what I did...of if I should bring it up.

Hot, R135!

Dear Lord in Heaven!

R8 is Young Dennis Hastert.

Don’t they teach paragraphing at the Nifty Erotic Stories writing workshops?

nope, they just write until then cum

2/10

[quote] I'd wear them when I knew I was going to see him. Dumb fuck had no idea.

That sure showed him!!!

Perverts.

Oh, and my son watched the whole thing.

R135

[quote] I pulled off his dress pants, admiring his muscular, hairy legs and thighs

R135, If the math teacher is a triathlete, he shaves his legs. Methinks, this episode is a figment of your imagination.

My own story: The hot, Australian boyfriend of my landlady in London was moving into my flat after my lease was up. He asked, if he could leave a suitcase of his clothes in the flat a few weeks before I left (he had given up his own lease and was returning to Australia on holiday). One night I opened his suitcase and swiped a pair of his boxer briefs. Sniffed them, wore them, and did various autoerotic activities with them in hand. Before I left, I made sure to launder and to return them to his suitcase.

No, R143, it's called desperation and has its own odor.

This thread made me remember hearing a story from this guy I met, something like 20 years ago. I was at a party, and was talking with this incredibly hot beefy alpha jock type, he was a friend of a friend, and not someone I would ever think was gay. It turned out he was actually gay, and I ended up talking to him for some time. He told me that in college he was walking home late from a party, drunk, and noticed an open patio door, and inside there was some random passed out frat boy. He said he snuck into the apartment, made sure the guy was passed out, pulled down his pants and fucked him. The guy never woke up. I was pretty shocked at the time, he basically admitted raping this guy. Just picturing him fucking anyone was a turn on, so it was a little titillating. Never saw him again after that, we lived in different cities, but that story really stuck with me.

This thread is how you know being straight, gay, whatever isn't a choice.

No way would I ever want to be attracted to men. WTF is wrong with all you guys?

Oh, hi, Mike Pence.

Where did I say gay men?

I said MEN.

Straight men are MEN and have been raping women and young girls for all of eternity.

R135, I would have rimmed him then swallowed all of his cream.

Portly lesbian alert

My parent's 20th-anniversary party my dad's bff got drunk and my dad asked me to drive him home. I drove him home (his wife was out of town). I had to help him out of the car and to the door. He tried to get his keys out but fumbled. I said let me get them and stuck my hand in his pocket Getting his keys I copped a feel. I got him inside and helped him upstairs. He went into the bathroom to pee and left the door open, pants around his ankles, he had his hand on the wall holding himself up. I look in on him holding a big dick and ask him if he is okay - he looks at me with a shit eating grin but says nothing. I ask if he needs help and he says yeah come here. I do and he puts my hand on his dick. I stroked him till hard and blew him. Helped him to bed - never heard another word about it.

I believe every word you said R154. Ive lived a variation of that 100 times. Straight guys make it easy to get that dick when they are drunk.

When guys are drunk, the brain in their dick takes over from the brain in their head

R149/151, it's your cunty remark "No way would I ever want to be attracted to men" that r150 was commenting on, as in why are you even fucking here? WTF is wrong with YOU? I guess you've also proved being a stupid asshole like you isn't a choice, either.

People here go after transwomen for wanting to have sex with straight men......but you guys fetishize straight men, too

Not me. I dont even get turned on by straight men. Except maybe a few. But theres NO WAY I'd rather go with a straight guy than a gay one.

Says right there on the DataLounge home page, R149:

" . . . this steaming pile of GAY celebrity gossip," etc.

lol @ r116.

Exactly Sure To please!

Is r115 talking about real snakes?

Or poop logs?

See, plenty of gay men prey on straight men! I'm not the only one.

Bullshit straight guys are not anally curious. Those guys are bisexual, I guess some of you are confusing bi guys for straight.

Underwear sniffing prevents colds!

R164 - you might be surprised. I would agree that most straight guys are not curious whatsoever about getting their asses fucked - that is definitely true. That said, MANY straight guys are very curious about getting their butts eaten out; I can promise you that. Hell, straight porno glorifies getting a rim job from women (very few girls have any interest in ever doing that for their men - no matter how hot the stud is..). Porn often dictates fetishes for all men - gay or straight - and pretty much every male porn star gets his ass eaten be someone. I have tongue-fucked handfuls of sexy straight guys who wanted just that and absolutely nothing else (no blow job, no fucking, no kissing, no fondling - just a tongue up the butt). They jacked themselves off of course while I used my tongue to dig for gold. It is not a rare fetish among straight men - but it is a fetish that few of them ever have realized. I always asked them to clean up down there or simply shower after they took a dump and otherwise we were ready to go. Sweaty is great; dirty is not-so-much. I have yet to have a guy show up dirty to get a rim job. TONS of guys are curious about that; you might just be amazed by the numbers.

OK. Give us some advice about bringing this up to our hot straight buds. I have 1 I've been list f for for years,

I met most via their ads on Craigslist. A few were at a party of a friend of a friend (or coworker) and gave me their number/email on the DL. I think that most go for either very masc or very fem. They seem to like either extreme - depending on the particular guy. Happy hunting.

[quote][R149]/R151

Cunt.

Are any of you Kevin Spacey?

Bump

Dear Nifty,

Do have a story for YOU!

Love, R135

Bump

Both of us drunk. I took him home and he passed out. I ate his ass like a champ.

^^^^ Because, well...

R174 - hot concept but one that could be risky from a cleanliness perspective. I have topped quite a few drunken straight boys - and was trilled to do so. They were damn hot (why else right?), but many had pretty dirty butts. I did not mind at all at the time - but my dick and my mouth are two different things all together.

But R176 per DL conventional wisdom there nothing hotter than a straight guy, no matter the circumstances. When a straight guy’s ass is dirty it’s like rich, creamy, delicious Valrona chocolate fondant frosting.

When a gay guy’s ass is dirty he’s a filthy, lazy, greedy bottom whore who couldn’t be bothered to prepare for surprise anal!

^^^^ That’s Valhrona with an H

Screechy bottom alert

More creepy, sneezy tales BUMP

R5, do you still speak with that friend? What happened after?

So many gay variations on serial rapist Bill Cosby!

Bump

r178, it's actually Valrhona with an RH.

Years ago I was a MACY's Herald Square Santaland Santa. (Yes, everything David Sedaris wrote is true). Often, we would get marriage proposals in our 'houses'. One time, there was a HOT young army brat - he was serving in Iraq and was home for the holidays, about to return shortly. He and his fiance sat on each knee, with the whole family crammed in there to watch as he proposed. He was in uniform, standard combat camos. Hot, blonde buzzcut.

At any rate, they did their thing: he proposed, she cried, the family cooed and cheered. We posed for lots and lots of pictures. The whole time I had my hand planted firmly on his ass. And I kept thinking to myself, "Ho Ho Ho! I've got my hand on your hot, tight ass!"

Little did he know. Actually, I take that back ... he DID know, and didn't seem to mind at all. It was the others that didn't have a clue.

HOT story R185!!

He didn’t mind, Santa, because he thought you were some harmless old goon in a Santa suit, not a horned up horn dog copping a feel.

I played baseball in college and my best friend Sean and I roomed together. He was so fucking hot! Dark hair blue eyes 6’3 200lbs big chest & arms and a big thick ass. He was a catcher. So he was in the best shape of anyone on the team. And catchers always have the most solid bodies. Well he was never at a loss for getting laid with girls. One night a girl showed up unannounced and I was already in bed. So he just decided to fuck her with me in the room and it was hot too watch. When they were done he walked her back to her dorm. So I grabbed his underwear off the floor that had his precum still in it. I licked the cum out of it as I jerked off. I figured I’d keep his underwear as a keepsake and hid them in my dresser.(He never got those back...lol) He slept naked most every night. So sometimes in the middle of the night if he had a hard on under his blanket or was face down on his stomach. I’d get up to use the bathroom and when I came back to bed. I’d slowly pull his blanket down to display his hard cock or beautiful ass. Then just get back into my bed to jerk off under my covers staring at him. I blew loads quick and easy that way. It was hot to me! And it got me thru school happier. Haha. After graduating I got a job in Arizona and he stayed in Boston. I hadn’t seen him in 3yrs but we stayed in touch. Eventually he came to visit me and I showed him all Scottsdale had for a good time. We got drunk our first night and he asked me why I wasn’t married or even dating a girl at the time. I gave him a bs answer about being too busy with my career. I figured telling him I needed to get to bed was the best way to end this line of questioning. So I went to my room and got into bed. A few minutes later he walked into my bedroom totally naked and asked if he could just sleep in my bed with me. He told me this way I didn’t have to come pull off his blanket later when he’s asleep in his bed. I was stunned! He got in bed with me and we talked about the past. I wasn’t as sneaky as I thought I was back then. And he said he’d have messed around with me if I’d have asked him since we were such close friends. So I wasn’t gonna miss this chance. I sucked his cock all the rest of the weekend and he fucked me twice too. But after that weekend he never came to visit again. We still talk now and he’s married with 2 kids. But having sex ruined everything. He even admits he enjoyed it but the guilt he feels from it bothers him enough to keep me out of his life. I didn’t even get invited to the wedding. Which bothered me but I understood I guess. I still have his underwear that I stole and that’s the closest thing I’m ever gonna have to him again. But no regrets!

r188 i think i saw you two in an Amateur Straight Guys video!

Hot story r188!

I guess I'll share my shameful story. So in middle school, I had this friend named Shane that was super popular and took me in as a his right-hand man when I moved to town. Since we were on the track team together, and being best friends, sometimes we would share water bottles or drinks if one of us forgot to bring one. Anyway, being a horny kid I thought it would hot to jerk off into my Powered and have him drink it. So I went to the bathroom and had one of my quick jerking sessions that produced a pathetic load. Since the bottle was clear I had then realized that I couldn't get away with cumming into so I ran the tip of my dick around the rim of the bottle, being sure not to put the lid back on. I left the bathroom and offered him the drink. He finished it off, but despite my horniess I felt very guilty and disgusted with myself. From that moment on I void never to tamper with people's food or drink.

I will never again void in the office coffee pot.

that is weird and gross

This thread suggests that straight men need a #metoo moment.

This thread is a big reason why they hate us.

I told him that striped pants and checkered shirt was a good look for him.

This thread is nothing. A similar thread by straight men about straight women would be exponentially worse. A kid in hormonal heat is reckless and endlessly creative.

Does smelling the seat of a hot guy just after he gets up count?

Jerking off into someones food or drink and secretly serving it to them is anti-social personality disorder behavior.

That's just what the world needs, r193--straight men coopting onto the #metoo movement.

Yes, r197--that counts!

r198, I think being on DL is an even bigger indicator. What's your point?

^What r201 said.

Bump

Being visionary, I blew the hot cement guy laying my sidewalk. All he wore was very tight, very short old cut offs. Messy blonde hair and blonde hairy legs. Muscles like a wrestler.

Awwww, r28, that is so sad :( What you did was wrong, but it just feels like you have unfinished business.

Lucky r95.

I've rimmed a dirty ass and sucked the smeg off an uncut cock

Grad Night at Disneyland, mid 80s

In the stretching room of the Haunted Mansion. Obnoxious drunk jock in front of me. When the lights go out, I goose his ass hard, them step back into the crowd to watch his reaction.

Nothing. Although he did stop being so loud.

Straight guy I met through Craigslist use to come over to get fisted, no kissing, no cock sucking, he would just lay back and spread his legs and I would work on opening him up enough to slide my fist in. Once I got inside him, he would cum all over his stomach & chest. He had a big cock, but never really got to suck it, only stroked it a little bit.

What does "goose" mean R208?

I'm gonna call the police the next time that pervert next door steals my underwear.

Got closer to a musky husky guy on the subway and inhaled deeply.

"Goose" = "grab-ass," fumbduck at R210.

[quote] . It was a one-time thing but I'm glad it was with me.

It's never just a one time thing. Never.

[quote] Made up dirty lyrics to the theme song to his sitcom.

Oh, Joshie, baby. You always were so *funny* - and thank God. Just one little note; it was your sitcom too, though you’re correct that I deserve all the credit for that chart-topping song. You never showed me those lyrics but I bet they were so cute.

And as I remember we did date for like five years, which isn’t very straight, but civilians knew no better so I take your point. You are right however that those really weren’t memorable times, and it’s still more fun parading around with anorexic bubblehead clones rented from Victoria’s Secret than living with you on a cleanse day.

But this is all sewage under the bridge, right? We have to share love and positivity in these dark days. So don’t worry; if the virus gets you (and don’t you have asthma from the morbid childhood obesity?) I’ll make only nice and heterosexually-acceptable comments at your eulogy and forget about these adorable little bitch-outs of yours. I pity that in life you’re so consumed by envy, and that to cope you just...consume. Praying for you, baby🙏

Bump, baby, bump.

Took his ass virginity.

stole his jockstrap and used it as a cum rag for a year

Hot, r208.

I was sort of out in high school and was quite promiscuous. I did hook up with a couple of football players and several guys in band.

There were eight football players I propositioned between my seventh grade year and my senior year that turned me down.

I worked in a local grocery store and the men’s room had just a toilet but it had a small peep hole down quite close to the floor that was directly across from the toilet.

By my 20th birthday I got to see all eight of the guys’ dicks without their knowledge. Three of them I saw repeatedly.

Two of them were quite small, 4 were average and two were huge.

I didn’t feel the least bit guilty about it and I don’t feel guilty about it now!

Reported him for wearing someone else's name badge in a restricted area. It was obvious because it was a woman's name badge. I didn't see him get "busted" for being there, but I heard he turned beet red.

You’re a perv, r220.

More!

There is no way r14 is true.

As a teenager, stole a varsity fullback’s jockstrap.

No more?

[quote]No more?

Baby I'ma do right.