Moving To A New City Where I Don't Know A Soul

Nashville over ATL.

One of them might land Amazon, so get on it.

Charlotte over Nashville or Atlanta

nurse, r2 is off her meds!

I would pick Nashville, too. Someone told me it was nice. He was funny and nice.

It is hard to meet new people, but harder if you are older.

Whats wrong with Atlanta ?

You can meet people at the bookstore or grocery store.

OP, I’d like to do the same, but going from East to West. How are things for gays in Seattle?? Or Denver?

I live in Atlanta and I love it. Bonus: a gay strip club.

You're moving to Seoul ? But why?

R7. Was the greatest time of my life. As an East Coast boy, going to grad school in Northern Cal was amazing.

Why would anyone want to live in the south?

The Seattle Freeze.

Leaving LA? Take the rest of them with you.

I agree with R11, why would you subject yourself to the South? Are you a masochist? Move to the gay tolerant northeast cities such as Philadelphia, Boston or New York or their respective metropolitan areas. Philadelphia is considered by National Geographic Magazine as the “Next Great City”. I’m partial, of course, because I live in Philly.

Atlanta is gay-friendly also. There are several places in the South that are.

Take the midnight train to Georgia.

R15, it’s not the so called southern gay friendly cities that are worrisome, it’s the rural counties that surround them!

R11, cost of living is a factor and being closer to my family. They live in rural North Carolina which I can't deal with. A co-worker of mine is originally from Atlanta and said to pick that over Nashville but worries I'll be bored since it's a much smaller city than LA and no as much to do. Though he hasn't been back there in many years.

I’ve lived in both Los Angeles and Atlanta. There’s plenty to do in both places.

How will you make it on your own? This world is awfully big.

OP, stay away from the fucking South!

Well on second thought maybe you should stay close to family while we fall into recession, but will there be jobs for you when the shit hits the fan? Some of those Southern states are on the brink of collapse as it is! They will fall apart when the economy slows again.

Savannah, Georgia, where Ruby lives looks pretty

OP, how old are you?

If you’re young - go for it, anywhere!

If you’re older - you better be sure you are self sufficient. AAA for on the road, great health insurance, and a healthy stash of investments/savings/assets.

I'm 42 so not young. R21, you think we are headed for another recession?

What do you do for work OP? Are you likely to meet people/make friends that way? Join a professional organization to both network and make friends?

Are you one of those Professional Gays who can only do Gay™ things and listen to Gay™ music and hang out at Gay™ bars or are you pretty adaptable?

If the latter, is there some activity you enjoy-- sports, music, birdwatching--that you can join a Meetup for?

Good luck!

Life long Atlantan here. I live in John Lewis' congressional district. You might find you like it here if you have enough money to live in the nice intown neighborhoods. Decatur and it's environs have great neighborhoods.

What's so great about Nashville, especially if you're gay? I don’t hear about it as a dream destination, unless you're planning to become a country singer.

The guy who told me that Nashville is nice is gay

Well OP if you want to live in a state that is on the forefront of restricting LGBT rights move to Nashville.

That person who recommended Nashville probably doesn't like you, OP. I cringe just thinking about that annoying southern drawl. Sorry/Not Sorry.

R30

I’m assuming you’re a Yankee.

Your version of English lacks a second person plural.

Southern English has y’all. So fuck off.

Of course Atlanta over Nashville. NASHVILLE? What are you, drunk? If anywhere in the south, Atlanta, otherwise fuck it, and while we're at it, cut the I'm-dependent-on-my-family-financially strings. That's very self-fucking.

Nashville has opera

Jesus, so does fucking Atlanta have opera. And better.

Atlanta=big city. In the top 5 (I think). Nashville=Grand Ol' Fuckin' Opry.

Really? This is a puzzle? Because I assume you're gay.

Moving out of LA to go anywhere east other than NYC is ridiculous.

Why are you leaving los Angeles Op? I'm curious.

"Philadelphia is considered by National Geographic Magazine as the 'Next Great City.'"

r14, are you telling me National Geographic went to Philly?

Thanks, R10!

What about the Triangle in NC? Too conservative?

Asheville is a great city. Beautiful and has great arts, music and food.

Lived in Nashville for 17 years. What are you exactly tired of in LA?

Asheville is also expensive from what I hear, R41. OP mentioned financial considerations.

Nashville is ok. You better be careful in the outer counties as they are the mouth breathers that don't sanitize their CPAPS. Rough and mostly homophobes. Try to live close to Belmont and Vanderbilt. East Nashville is overrated and full of douchey hipsters that can't really afford being there. The food is fattening and delicious. The shopping is not great. Green Hills mall is the best shopping and would be equal to a Burbank mall.

I've been to Nashville and it's suburbs a number of times visiting relatives and it was okay. Less hill-billy/ southern then I thought it would be. Lots of good food and live music. Airport is easy to get in and out of and rarely crowded. That being said I would never move there, I didn't like the way it "felt" and I didn't care for the geography, it's too flat and uninteresting. Never been to Atlanta. I've been in Los Angeles now 13 years and I am ready to move as well but my partner is not. I can't deal with all the people anymore, its just too much. I feel like I am packed into a sardine can the way everyone lives right on top of each other here. It's like soylent green. I dream of moving to a small town in Vermont, having a house on a 20+ acre farm and lots of pets. Oh the peace, the quiet, the solitude.

Nashville "cool areas" are affected like the new eatlaly that just opened at century city mall.

The only thing you need to do in Atlanta is eat at Pitty Pat's Porch. Do not move here from LA. You'd hate it.

Who gives a shit about live music? It ALL sucks.

OP, are you going to take the midnight train to Georgia?

"Nashville and it's suburbs"

Southerners are all apostrophe abusers; illiterate lowlifes.

Who the fuck moves to a city "because they have opera and museums"! Are you going to live in the Etruscan Wing or the mezzanine?

Atlanta is very superficial and youth oriented. 8 think of it as 6s and 7s who think they're 10s looking for a 12. I would describe people there as incurious. The non-natives gay folks tend to be from small towns within a few hours or are the kind of gays from elsewhere who would have been too intimidated to move to LA, NYC, SF, etc. Ive been to LA many times and like it to visit but find it too superficial to want to live there and the traffic is about on par with LA although the greater area is smaller. Housing in Atlanta has taken off in cost over the last year and I wonder what the market can support. My old house sold for 40% more than comparable place sold a year ago and I'm told this is typical. Atlanta simply doesn't have he kind of wealth you find in LA--lots of credit card debt. There were tons of foreclosure a when e real estate market cratered in 2008. Atlanta also has very underdeveloped cultural institutions and is t much of city for a place its size. the metro area is similar in population to DC, Boston and SF, and yet you can sometimes feel that you're in a third tier city in the middle of nowhere.

I've lived in Nasville but longer ago. People are friendlier than Atlanta and the atmosphere is more Southern. There is a gay scene, but it really doesn't have a lot to do and the nearby cities (Louisvile,, Memphis, Knoxville) aren't very interesting. If you want some place that is a bit familiar, but isn't fast. Paced or superficial, then you might like Nashville, although it also tends to be family oriented overall and has a lot of funnies because of the church-related schools and the Southern Baptist convention. The music scene is mostly the muSic business--lots of session work but not a huge number or range of entertainment venues.

I love reading these threads where all the "don't know shit from shinola" bigoted fools have to put in their ignorant 2 cents. OP, Nashville and Atlanta are friendly cities full of friendly people. Greater Atlanta is 3 times the size of greater Nashville so there are a lot more and varied types of people there. If you show yourself to be a friendly person then friendly people will gravitate toward you. Southerners are no different than anyone else. If they feel you are not a friendly person they won't give you the time of day.

Wherever you move you're going to have the responsibility of making a good life for yourself. No one else is going to do it for you. I can guarantee you if you move to either city you'll have a brand new set of friends in short order, if that's what you want.

The only thing you can't do in Atlanta that you can do in L.A. is swim in the ocean within an hour or so from your house. I know lots of people who've moved to Atlanta from many other cities (including L.A.) and they all say the same thing, "I'll never go back there to live again".

For a city of its size, I was surprised at how non-urban Atlanta felt.

Trendy restaurants were in shopping centers next to Supercuts and Dunkin Donuts

There wasn't much of a walkable downtown area

Everything seemed to take forever to get to.

That might have changed in the last 7 years but I doubt it.

Hasn't been the same since Sherman

I’m sorry, but both cities are disgusting. A hick in a beamer is still a hick.

I survived Atlanta. Was there for 20 years in the Grant Park/Decatur areas of the city.

If you decide to move there prepare yourself for: Soul crushing traffic The nastiest most insane/sociopathic/slutty gay men you will ever meet. Truly crazy. Unbelievably corrupt city government Ghetto trash mentality everywhere you go It’s dirty and littery and sweaty Depressing gay nightlife that dwindles more and more each year There is also a disproportionately high STD rate

Honestly, I moved away three years ago and have never looked back with fondness, I’m thrilled I got away. I know six folks who also had enough and moved.

You’ve been warned!

Where did you move r57 ?

Atlanta has some of the wealthiest suburbs in the US

Atlanta has some of the wealthiest hicks in the US

Fixed it, r59.

I'm sick of the entertainment biz, plus I've been here almost 20 years and feel like I need a change. That's why I want to move.

Well, you don't need to go to Nashville to escape the entertainment biz.

Good because the entertainment biz here in Atlanta is not nearly as exciting as the hype leads you to believe, R61. It's okay, fairly easy living save for traffic. Live inside the perimeter and life gets easier. Avoid the 'burbs! Unless you want to spend hours a day in traffic.

R52d You must be a realtor or perhaps simply one of these upbeat, boosterish types that Atlanta, in particular, attracts. Nashville could be said to be friendly, but Atlanta? Cut across race, sexuality, etc.. And people will always comment how unfriendly it is. It the worst of both worlds--norhern hospitality and southern lasitude ; northerners say it has no culture, southerners say it has no soul--both are correct. Having once lived in Chicago, I referred to it as the city that doesn't work and I wasn't referring I got to the city government, but to the general grifterishness of the whole area. It's a land of salesman looking for suckers or at least bigger suckers than they are. Since leaving Atlanta, I've noticed how. Many of my friends and acquaintances there want to leave, too. When I moved there, the local usually boosterish paper published a survey saying that 40 pct of the people in metro Atlanta would leave tomorrow given the chance. You really shouldn't bother, OP.

Yeah, I hate to admit it since I grew up here but Atlanta lost its Southern charm a long time. So many cunts here, male and female, who just stare back at you if you say hello in passing, even to neighbors. If you are that type, come on in, you'll fit. For those of us friendly Southern ones, it sucks. Sick of social retards.

Nashville was weird and funky when I lived there in the 70s and 80s. Great gay bars. Then it added rich GOP golf course suburbs and I thought it had been ruined. I moved to northeast a long time ago and like it much better.

But now Nashville also has large hipster areas as a counterweight to all the Republicans in Franklin. It's okay, and it's affordable, especially if you have some California real estate to sell. You'll be trading up.

You do have to decide, however, if you want to be in a blue island in a very red state. All kinds of regressive anti-gay and anti-woman and anti-minority politics in Tennessee state politics now. Didn't used to be so red.

r66 here. Forgot to add that I used to know a bunch of people in Atlanta. They all moved to Asheville. So did some of the people I knew in Nashville.

Southern Metropolis cities have a weird, what I call, "NEW YORK CITY COMPLEX." They act like jerks because they equate being a jerk with intelligence. Men are very immature there. IT is very click-y. People talk about what high school they went too. They cannot move on. IT IS WEIRD. There is no neighborhood vibe there.

I heard the best Southern City to live is Austin, Texas. There is still the neighborhood vibe (sure, it is expensive to live there), art & music scene obviously, and a major University that leans BLUE/Liberal arts/sciences. Of course, you are surrounded by extreme people who live in Texas.

And you need to enjoy weeks and weeks of 115 degree temperatures there too. Though I do still miss it otherwise.

Walk the streets naked, that should get you some new friends!

R65's "Yeah, I hate to admit it since I grew up here but Atlanta lost its Southern charm a long time. So many cunts here, male and female, who just stare back at you if you say hello in passing, even to neighbors. If you are that type, come on in, you'll fit. For those of us friendly Southern ones, it sucks. Sick of social retards."

Well you can move to New York and get the same blank stare back at you but it'll be from an Asian, Russian, or Latino who simply doesn't know how to communicate in the english language. Most of them don't give you the personal space that we're no longer able to enjoy, because they're all coming in in fucking droves. So there's good and bad everyplace.

Agreed. It just used to feel different here -- when a lot more native born Southerners were here. Black and white alike were far friendlier. It's not personal -- I watch the same fools ignoring others, not just me -- but it's still disconcerting for those of us who like polite society.

Now everyone just looks cautious and ridiculously so. I refuse to cave in to that.

Wow, I'm surprised to hear Atlanta isn't very friendly. And it's segregated?

Atlanta is very friendly.....but remember....birds of a feather....if youre vapid and shallow, thats what you attract.

R73

Extremely. The division between the urban black population and the rest is not quite as pronounced as it is in several northern cities, but it is definitely the San Francisco of the South.

Urban crime has been driven into small neighborhoods because of rising rents, but they are places you don’t ever want to go, day or night.

Nashville is more integrated.

San Francisco of the south-NOT! No southern city is.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Wow, is that Atlanta, R77?

R75, what areas do you not want to go day or night?

Atlanta is the kind of place where you'll see bumper stickers forTrump in the REI parking lot. The moderate reputation, like a lot of things is a veneer.

Where are some fun places to go in Atlanta?

Wouldn't Washington DC also give you easy access to your parents in N. Carolina, OP?

I think I'd prefer it to Atlanta or Nashville. I'd live somewhere like Georgetown.

Havent you learned OP.....home is where you make it. If youre bored where youre at now, in a few years youll be bored again wherever you end up.

OP, adults (and their kids) do this all the time. Sometimes on their own; often through job relocation. It is an experience, but things will almost automatically fall into place when you get there. You'll meeting people at work, the gym, while out walking your dog (if you have one) or in bars, if that's your jam. It's worth the effort if you are unhappy in L.A. Your cost of living will be significantly less, too.

Georgetown, r82? OP is moving with financial issues in mind. And you suggest expensive Georgetown?

[quote]What about the Triangle in NC? Too conservative?

Raleigh/Durham is far more progressive than Nashville.

[quote]Georgetown, [R82]? OP is moving with financial issues in mind. And you suggest expensive Georgetown?

I'm sorry. I didn't get that part.

Can people move to D.C. on a restricted budget or not so much?

DC is very expensive r87. Cheaper than Manhattan/San Francisco, but more expensive than pretty much anywhere else.

I didn't care much for Raleigh when I visited there.

Yes, you can join clubs, etc. and hopefully meet people at work, but the bigger context of a place is going to be important and by the time you reach your 40s, the time and effort to make friends increases. The reserach triangle area is very closed and a friend of mine left UNC because of the general insularity of living in that area. That will be a problem in a smaller place.

DC Is expensive but much more interesting than ATL or Nashville and filled with people who have some connection to NC. You may be happier in DC than any of these other places.

I have moved to new countries where I know no one. Never a mistake.

Have you thought of Savannah? Or JAX? No state taxes in FL. Nice beaches.

Nashville's a nice place to visit yada yada yada. ATL's not even a nice place to visit, and while there, I sat in traffic at a standstill at 2AM on a WEEKNIGHT.

I personally would live in NC close to the Research Triangle. Plenty of jobs and a college-educated population.

L.A. proved too much for the man. Too much for the man, he couldn't make it.

He's leavin' on that midnight train to Georgia....

I moved to a new city where I didn't know a soul and it turned out really well

[quote]L.A. proved too much for the man.

L.A.'s a great big freeway.

Have you considered San José, OP? You can really breath in San José.

I think the only city I would even consider living in is Asheville. Progressive/lib, breathtakingly gorgeous, friendly people, good nightlife. Has just about everything one would consider pluses.

Aside from just "rural areas" --which would describe quite a bit of the state--where in North Carolina do your parents live?

I don’t understand people who are such fans of Asheville. It’s a pretty place to visit but much too small to have what I need on a regular basis.

Oh-a, fade away, leaving L.A. Tomorrow's waiting, memory's fading Take me away, don't wanna stay

It’s also full of stinky homeless people in the summertime who use the public parks and streets as toilets.

No one suggested New Orleans? Granted I'm in NYC and know little about it but I thought it was supposed to be a good place to live (at least, for the right people I suppose). Am I completely wrong?

LA Times just had an article on how people are moving to Vegas.

R102, alcoholics and hookers.

I just got back from Cumming, a wealthy suburb of Atlanta on Tues.....meh...the traffic around the city and the rest of rich north Atlanta is awful.....they are also the worst drivers I ever had to drive with and with all the traffic its too stressful for me

...I really liked Macon so much better. They are doing a great revitalization in the city. Rather than knocking down everything old they are fixing it up...the homes on College and Vineville are to die from.

I got my PhD at Emory University. It took some get to used to, not gonna lie. But the changes tbat had to be made were all in me. Atlanta/Decatur made me a better person. The South gets a bad rap from people who have never lived there. I have lived in LA, Chicago, tbe intermountain west, Boston, New York and the Pacific Northwest. I am telling you, you will love Atlanta. Gay culture is very strong, though not so much in the nightlife.

Take a chance, OP. I think you will fall in love with the place.

I think I will give Atlanta a try. I'll report back in a year.

Give my regards to Swingin Richards!

What's that, R107?

go to meetup.com when you get there. When I moved to a new city, I also searched google/Facebook for "gay social group" and found a lot of cool guys who do volunteer work, etc. I met so many cool people.

Swingin Richards is an all male strip bar....and they get totally nude.

totally nude and nothing but faded tats and shaved pubes. ugh. Try B.J.'s pool hall and strip club on Cheshire Bridge instead. And you'll save yourself a shitload of money compared to Richard's too. Trust me.

It's a pool hall/strip club?

There are pool tables and strippers dance after 9 pm. But somehow not as capitalist as Swinging Richards. Not even a cover at the door most nights. I much prefer it, though I liked their old location (next to a great movie theatre) better. One could go see a movie and then walk over there to hang out after.

Someone upthread said there isn't that much of a walkable downtown Atlanta. Anyone else agree?

SW Is totally about the money honey, not that there’s anything wrong with that. They have an ATM in the private room area and when I went there was an old queen in the bathroom who wanted a tip to hand you a paper towel to dry your hands. If the dancers see you have don’t have any dollars at the ready you will know what it feels like to be invisible. If they sense dollars , you’re treated like you’re the hottest man on Earth. It’s hilarious.

And B.J.s really is a nice little neighborhood pool hall with decent folks working there and regulars. Far FAR less about the money, though be careful with the Latino strippers who are famous for doing a private dance for 3 minutes and then deciding you owe them $80. Scumbags as I learned first hand. Stick with the nice fun WASP boys instead.

How bad are the winters in Atlanta? Seems like they've gotten some snow and ice since December. I thought it was supposed to be more in the 50s or something in Jan/Feb.

r117....they do get snow, but nothing major, and it doesnt last more than a few days......however, since its a southern state (and very hilly) they lack proper snow removal equipment and supplies resulting in the city shutting down if the snow is anything above a trace amount.......and they do get ice storms which are fucked up.

One of the best ways to turn red states blue (or purple) is for blue-staters to to move there. I have two friends who moved from NYC to Nashville and they love it. Nashville is pretty liberal and they have no reason to go to the deplorable parts so they don't go, they're very easy to avoid. I also know gay people who live in Atlanta and love it.

What about Charlottesville, VA?

Tacoma, WA is very nice.

Someone upthread said Atlanta doesn't have much culture. Any other Atlanta DLers care to weigh in?

r122....thats bullshit. I used to live in Atlanta and I loved it. Remember, Atlanta has a LOT of money....OLD and NEW.....so of course theres culture....the social and upper financial class would demand it. Atlanta has one of the wealthiest suburbs in the US.....Buckhead. You have a lot of celebrities who live there and even more visiting and or working there., high end shopping, museums, art galleries, restaurants, etc. It has a large gay population in and around Midtown. Tyler Perry has his studios there, and there are a lot of movies filming in and around Atlanta. You have a very large musical base...especially within rap/hip-hop circles.

For what it's worth, I preferred Athens when I lived in Georgia and enjoyed the college town atmosphere. The surrounding countryside, to the South Carolina border, was beautiful. I had no problem making friends and fun business contacts.

I lived in NC for 15 years and love many areas of the state, including Raleigh, Asheville, Greensboro and Charlotte. Greensboro is actually a small city gem.

Two years ago, I had a wonderful job opportunity in the DC area and moved here part-time (the benefits of teleworking). I have a small place about 20 miles outside of the city. You can live conservatively with a lot of research, checking out housesharing, sub-leases, etc.

Of course this part of the country has wonderful and exciting opportunities for doing things and meeting people. The diversity is exceptional; I can go to museums and special events every weekend, shop at the local Amish market and enjoy a wide range of community events, restaurants and shops. But that is also available, maybe on a smaller level, in many areas.

I personally will be retiring to NC, where I have a large extended community of like-minded friends and associates. Anywhere you live will have assholes, deplorable types and everyday idiots. Each community should be judged on its own merits and your expectations.

[quote]No one suggested New Orleans? Granted I'm in NYC and know little about it but I thought it was supposed to be a good place to live (at least, for the right people I suppose). Am I completely wrong?

Yes, you're completely wrong, R101. I love New Orleans, was born there, have family there, visit all the time, but would never live there.

The infrastructure is a wreck. Right now thousands are without power and many without water due to an ice storm. The disaster that was New Orleans after Katrina would never have happened if the levees had been properly maintained. Crime is through the roof. The government is corrupt. Add to that an influx of trustafarian hipsters coming in and driving prices up, it's hardly affordable any more to any but the wealthy.

Oh, and good luck finding a paying wage.

OP, go to a purple state that you can help turn blue, so that eliminates Atlanta and Nashville. Go to a purple district in Georgia.

The regular touristy stuff in Atlanta seems kind of dull - the Coca-Cola factory, CNN tour etc. Seems like someone coming from LA could be unimpressed and bored.

r127....who the hell does that stuff besides tourists and elementary school field trips.

I'm sick of Los Angeles too. Thinking of moving a little bit more NorthEast. Madison, Wisconsin. Large gay community. Visited Milwaukee and Lacrosse.

Only thing I heard the winters are brutal.

Also thinking of moving to Seattle or Las Vegas

Las Vegas, R129?

I’d love to hear from anyone who knows coastal Oregon. I think I could retire there. Please post

25 year Atlanta resident, so I am biased, but I have really enjoyed watching the city grow and evolve. But I suggest you take a two week vacation, and spend time in each city. Uprooting your life without first-hand experience might be a bad idea.

What are some fun non-touristy things to do in Atlanta? Is there much of a theater scene?

No fun in Atlanta?

Atlanta has a large and growing theatre community, lots of great restaurants, and (sigh) lots of sporting events. If you are into it, with Atlanta now being the #1 location for film shoots in the US, celebrity sighting are way up!

I lived in Richmond Va, Alexandria Va (northern VA), DC and New Orleans and I miss all of those cities.

I lived in NYC for 13 years (just moved away to Miami last year) and do not miss it one but despite Florida's shortcomings.

I have family in Atlanta and visited there many times but I just do not like it. To me it lacks soul and charm. I do love savannah though. Savannah has a similar vibe to New Orleans