Are you afraid of dying?

Fair enough. Yeah, I'm not so afraid of being dead, just how I wind up that way. The process.

I'm more afraid of not knowing I'm dead.

Nope. Why fear the inevitable ?

I think sme booze and ambien might be peaceful and painless.

There are a lot of ways to die—some more unpleasant than others. But maybe dying is somewhat like being born. It’s traumatic, but you’ll have no lasting memory of it.

I think it will just be a relief.

Yeah, same here, R6.

Yes.

As much as I love this earth, it will be a relief.

Everyone is afraid of living to their own wants, dreams and desires. But death is inevitable for all of us.

I’m not afraid of dying. As some here say, when it approaches it will be a relief knowing that it’s going to happen. I fear intense pain more and suffering than death. I have never taken any opioids or other strong painkillers, so I hope they do the trick when the time comes.

No. I remember dying at the end of a couple of past lives. It's bewildering and yes, kind of a relief. But I remember thinking once, "well, I sure made a mess of that one." I was a criminal and shot to death on the steps of a public building somewhere. It's kind of humbling, somehow.

I used to be terrified of it. But not anymore. A friend once said that no one truly knows what happens when we die and it's true. I believe we just stop, but others think we go on. I'm curious to find out or not when it eventually happens. I just hope it's quick.

Why should you be afraid of going home to be with the Lord for eternity?

Not scared. I’ve known some nasty people that really hung in there when it was time though. I think they could see they’d have to answer to things soon, and it wasn’t looking in their favour. If you’ve done the best you can in life, there’s no need to fear the inevitable.

Death awaits all of us. Live, do and enjoy, because you never know when Death will come to collect you.

Yeah, I don't want to go home with any Lords, Ladies, Earls, Dukes or Duchesses, thanks. I'm happy where I am.

Sure. I see the relief aspect, but existentially, it has fucked me up since I was three and realistically, (the cold, the pain, the hospitals, the bruised flash and ugliness of it all), done I've gotten near it w myself and others. It's highly unpleasant in many cases. Tom Petty is widely regarded as 'doingbit right', but I gotta give props to Chris Cornell too.

It's why I didn't have kids. Couldn't do it to them.

*bruised flesh *since I've gotten near it

R12, did you see that at the Past Lives Pavilion?

I've so much respect for the way David Bowie handled his dying. It says a lot for the man's character that he created, worked and pretty much held his own counsel through everything. A gentleman.

I just hope there is a cute man holding my hand as I pass. I had a dream about dying, and as I felt myself slipping away, I was looking around for someone to hold my hand, saw a young guy and asked him to stay with me. It was quite wonderful.

Not afraid of my own death. But I am scared of other people dying.

No, I don't think I am. The only part of death that fills me with sadness is knowing the way my family would grieve. I have a tight knit family(parents married 40 yrs, 5 siblings) and if any of us were to be gone tomorrow, I know how much of a hole would be there. It makes me profoundly sad to think about any of them being gone.

Yes. Frankly, I am terrified of it. May have something to do with my relationship with sleep, which has often been full of strife and strangeness and lucid dreams and insomnia and sleep paralysis (yes, I've been under great stress for the last five years). I welcome sleep but dread the process, which is never easy for me. I am scared of death.

For what it's worth, in Patty Duke's autobiography "Call Me Anna," she confessed to having a great fear of death herself; in fact, she met John Astin by virtually climbing over a bunch of people at a party to get to him and ask him if he shared the same fear. I wonder what she went through when she was on her way out. It's too much to fathom. I'm so scared it'll just be like turning off a television set.

No, r20. I just remember it.

I came from spirit, I will go back to spirit. My concern would be for loved ones. I want to go quick, I have a relative slowly dying of dementia, that’s hell on earth.

I agree with others I don't fear death I fear dying in a slow antagonizing way due to injury or illness.

I'll be 54 and I'm getting very peaceful about it. Another 30 years or so and I'll be tired of it all and not be too bummed-out about exiting.

On my death bed I'll only remember my pets. I hope there is a "heaven" or something so I can see them again.

I fear leaving my partner behind. He's intelligent and capable but he wouldn't socialize at all if it weren't for me; I fear that he would get lonely but be unable to reach out. I don't fear death itself.

I really don't give a shit anymore!

Sorry R17, but this life is only temporary, nobody gets to stay forever. However, being with the Lord is forever and sure beats the alternative.

^^^I hope that thought gives you comfort.

Not as much as I used to be. But it's still scary.

I just thought of something. What is we became a ghost after we died? For fun, I wonder who I'd haunt?

R24, t doesn’t sound as if anyone is prepared for dealing with the full life cycle. It’s apart of life. It should be a part of life skills with those you are close to. It’s never too early or a wrong time to discuss last wishes. Seeing them thru gives solace to those left behind. Funerals are for the people left behind, and the wishes of everyone in your family should be known, and discussed if any changes will be made. Get everyone to do wills.

Terrified. Never used to be, but after I turned 50 the reality that we all die one day sunk in. I hate the not knowing what's going to happen part of it.

Same as R23, I'm afraid of other people that I care for dying. I am pretty fragile and always have been, I will be a mess.

I believe in God and the concept of Heaven. So, no, I'm not afraid of dying.

It’s scary, the end of the ride. No denying it.

Death, no. The possible pain and suffering proceeding it, yes. The older I get, the more the relief from life that death will bring seems like a blessing. I don't believe in the concepts of heaven or hell, as those seem more like stories to tell children. But the concept of your "spirit" or consciousness continuing past your physical life, now that is interesting. Still not sure I completely buy into it though.

Yes, I prefer to continue living forever if possible.

I'm not afraid of being dead because I won't know any better but it's how I will die that does scare me. I would prefer to go quickly and somewhat unexpectedly rather than a dragged out illness.

I really, really don't want to be dead. I like living and don't want to stop living. I've even told my partner that if I'm under 65 and on life support, not to disconnect me unless he gets at least three different opinions from specialists saying I ain't comin' back.

There's not much fear in it, though, more irritation at it being something you can't control. Not really looking forward to the inevitable illness that leads up to it, though I've been sick off and on for most of my life so I can take a lot as far as doctors and medicines and treatments go. But when it comes to the big one, and after seeing my grandmothers and both parents suffer through illness, I've already started planning on a good way to go out so it's not lingering.

As a former hospice nurse, I’ve witnessed the deaths of dozens of people. There are pre-set mechanisms within you that simply just start shutting down this thing we call a body. In a way, it’s like watching the tide go out. All quite peaceful, actually.

The only times, and there have been many, when people suffer in the dying process, outside of those whose pain is derived from their illness, are those with anger, control, and other unresolved issues. They tend to hold on longest, struggling to have it their way. A nurse practitioner friend used to refer to this as “existential pain,” with their issues actually exacerbating any other pain of theirs.

Something to think about.

Yes, but I'm more afraid of developing dementia before that happens. I watched my Dad and grandmother dwindle before my eyes, and I have no one to take care of me if/when that happens to me.

I’m afraid of dying at the wrong place. Like when I’m driving or wherever there is a lot of terrible people who won’t do the right thing like calling 911.

A little bit. Hopefully it's a long way off.

I used to walk my old fat daschund under the EL tracks in Chicago, and I always thought that would be a fine way to go out; just look up and see an EL train falling off the tracks and about to crush you. You wouldn't have time to fully process what was about to happen, but maybe you would have time to see the humor in it.

Not anymore.

I've been thinking about this a lot. Sometimes I think about how it'd be nice to have someone there to hold my hand while it happens so I wouldn't be so scared but i know that probably won't happen, but then I think that I don't want anyone around me when it happens. I guess it does'nt matter as long as it doesn't hurt or take too long.

Yep. What if there really is a hell? I havent quite been saintly enough for heaven.

Plus I like living. I enjoy my life. I don't want it to end. And I certainly don't want it it all to go to shit for several years before I bite the dust.

I'm afraid of being out of it someday, and not knowing where I am, in some horrid home. It just sounds so vulnerable...operating on automatic pilot and not being able to defend yourself. There's no indication that will happen...but the thought makes me shudder.

It would be like being the Undead.

[quote]As a former hospice nurse, I’ve witnessed the deaths of dozens of people. There are pre-set mechanisms within you that simply just start shutting down this thing we call a body. In a way, it’s like watching the tide go out. All quite peaceful, actually.

That's pretty much the way most of my relatives went out. Even my dad, who really struggled toward the end, got very peaceful at the very end.

Not exactly looking forward to it, but we've also had enough hideous stuff like Alzheimer's in my family that I'll take my own way out before I become a burden to others or end up in a home like r53 said. It's enough of a concern that I intend to have cognitive tests performed every few years, like colonoscopies.

I am afraid it might take a few says to find me. I would like to die in a forest.

I don't actually care about living or dying but I just am afraid of how dying will happen, like whether or not it will be painful. I really don't care when it happens it could be tomorrow for all I care. If its the end it's the end. I'd like to just take some ambien, something to drink and go peacfully, myabe outside in nature somewhere when it's cold. That'd probably be okay and better than going through too much pain. I wish I could afford to pay for that clinic inSwitzerland.

R12 How did you uncover your past lives and what did you learn about reincarnation?

I tried killing my self once. Stuck a razor blade in my wrist and as soon as the blood started coming out I went into a state of shock, collapsed on the floor and it was one of the horrifying things I've ever gone through.

It's like my body didn't want to die even though I wanted to. It became a separate entity as if saying it may be your time but not mine. I'm surviving no matter what. It was a shitty thing to do. Not that it was the first time.

Once I was very ill, I thought I might die and frankly, I just didn't care one way or the other. By the way, I never thought about heaven or hell of God or Jesus. I simply did not care.

What do you any of you think about a person who's stuggled their whole life with sadness and other issues killing themselves? Maybe there's no actual illness and their body is physically okay, but they ccan't bear their misery any longer? I think they should have the right to euthanasia or to kill themselves if they want.

R57, I'm Wiccan and it was part of my group's practice to explore things like that. (I am part of an organized group, not just a goth wannabe.) We explored past lives, astral work, divination, spellwork, finding and working with deities and other things. It was enough to feel certain about reincarnation, but it's not easy to get many details. The details aren't that important anyway, as long as you can find out the broader issues.

I think we have the right to kill ourselves but I wonder if we might end up living the same life again, till we learn our lesson?

The end is never peaceful

I don't know, R62. I don't believe in anything after. I think the end is the end. I'd never tell anyone what to do but if I decided to do it one day, i think it should be my choice.

When I was a kid they always talked about heaven and didn't I want to go there? No. Heaven sounded extremely boring to me.

I was never scared of dying until I reached the age I am now. My two best friends both died within the last 2 years. My parents are dead. I have no siblings, pets, lovers, or friends in the town I live in. I’m very alone and the possibility of pain scares me a lot. I often wish I had the Soylent Green option, from the movie, in which you walk into a large, clean building, volunteer to die, they ask a couple questions (like, your favorite color), and then you are administered a painless fatal dose and you float away in a room filled with the color you chose.

As more and more people I know (both personally and distantly) die, I become more comfortable with dying myself. I want to be washed out with the tide, not left behind with a bunch of generationally-distant strangers.

But sometimes when I think about it, the thought of no longer existing freaks me out.

TBH I’m kinda looking forward to it

At my age (66) I'm more afraid of living than dying.

Not that I wouldn't want to experience the wonders that are in store for us in the years ahead, but having seen my parents decline through their old age, I'm not sure how many years past 80 I would care to live.

I’m scared of it all. My parents are dead. Mom suffered with dementia for many years. How do you mourn someone’s death who was already dead?

My husband left me in 2010. Finally met someone in 2016. He died alone, rejecting me, embracing isolation and alcohol.

When my head hits the pillow tears flow with memories. Can’t sleep at night. No more love for me. Hate life but hate thought of death more

I'm afraid of dying too young. I'm 52. I hear all the time about people my age dying (Helen McCrory!) and I'm convinced that a Fata l cancer diagnosis is just a doctor's visit away, or that some undiagnosed something or other is going to make me keel over at any minute.

If I make it to 70 I think I'll be at peace with dying.

*fatal cancer diagnosis

After paging through the scats troll threads last week, death will be a scentless relief, OP.

You can't always get what you want, unfortunately.

Or expect.

Yes although I’m not sure if I’m afraid of illness and decline rather than actually dying. At a certain point when you get older, the brevity of life gets to you. When I lived through HIV it was more like a boogey man in the closet- a roll of the dice that could kill. It was a more tangible fear. Now it’s more like existential despair.

I am more afraid of aging than dying. I don’t want to have dementia and be a burden on people.

Terrified of nothingness and worried I would make a humiliating fuss. For some reason it is important to me to die with a bit of dignity and stoicism. Then I had a dream where I WAS dying in an auto accident when my car went off a bridge and was plummeting toward the water. I knew I wouldn't survive and I accepted it, sad but resigned. The dream and my feelings were so real that my fear of the moment of death is pretty much gone, but the thought of not existing makes me nauseous so when it happens I eat some crackers.

Before 80, yes. After 80, no. I will be ready to go.

Reading about hospice care and the experiences of hospice nurses is a great cure for any fear of dying. These people have incredible insight into the dying process. Watched my father and a friend dying of cancer. Very informative and educational. There is nothing you can do about it so you need to figure out and learn how to make peace with it. I find it provides great meaning and joy in every day life when things get sucky and annoying - just realize you could die tomorrow.

I have my own tide-based way of looking at things. I think when we are young, we convince ourselves we are a wave. You are a wave too, but we’re both convinced we are unique and separate. As time goes on, we move inexorably toward the shore. We try not to face that; instead, we busy ourselves with how great a wave we’ve become. We see our parent waves reach the shore and crash, which makes us suffer in their loss but also confirms to us we too will experience the same outcome. Eventually, we arrive at shore and crash, and our form dissipates. Hopefully, we will realize before that point that the water remains, that we have always been the water, and will likely be swept back out to start the whole thing over again.

I am also quite open to the possibility that all of that is fanciful thinking, and that death is the end, period. I guess we will all find out which view was correctly.

^^correct, not correctly.