Hallmark Holiday Movies

Hallmark's usual method of operation is to cast one or two Americans in leading roles and then the rest of the cast is filled with awful Canadian actors. Those awful Canadian actors aren't the types who take dialect or diction classes. The Canadian industry pretty much knows that Hallmark wants their movies and shows done quick and cheap so they'll hand out the tax breaks as long as Canadians actors get roles.

The only Hallmark Christmas movie I like is The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year with a really hot lead and Henry Winkler. I will watch it if I happen to come upon it while channel surfing. Winkler and the hot guy have more chemistry than the hot guy does with Brooke Burns who plays his potential love interest. Still, I find it enjoyable. Ask Mom is she likes that one.

Hallmark filmed one of their new movies in Utah. I wonder if they are slowly being pressured into having more of their movies filmed in the States.

I read some article in EW that said that these movies film in 2-3 weeks. That explains the bad cinematography.

They’re so ridiculous: all filmed in Canada in July. Fake snow, all white people with really bleached teeth, pointless story plots. Pablum for the dumb masses.

What's really horrible are the CGI Christmas lights on the walkway, on the house, etc. They can't even afford real ones in the exterior shots, so they use the cheapest CGI possible.

The EVIL City Life!

Santa is real in all of these.

Getting a chance to relive your life but this time actually spending time with your loved ones - AND the hot guy who got away (when you left for the Big City)! Forsaking the EVIL City Life for good ol' Smalltown USA.

Lifetime makes similar movies. But, some of those movies film in the US and aren't always about evil city life and sometimes the lead characters are non-white.

I remember the movie that R2 mentioned. That one wasn't a bad movie.

"all white actors"

There's usually a sassy black friend or office assistant.

Exaxctly, R5... and they spray all the green, leafy trees with fake snow.

R9, maybe on Lifetime but not on Hallmark.

They are Harlequin romance books come to life.

[quote]They are Harlequin romance books come to life.

Without the skin that is shown on the paper back covers with the woman in the heaving bodice and the bare chested man.

How coincidental. From today's Christian Science Monitor via Drudge:

Some of the women I work with live for these. You would be surprised at what a big deal the Hallmark holiday movie season is.

There's a drinking game. It improves the movies immensely.

I like to watch with my boyfriend and guess the plot points.

I liked the Hallmark Hall of Fame movies from the 90s

R12 That's a good description. A female friend of mine was into these movies for awhile, but grew bored with them. She referred to them as "lower budget Nicholas Sparks movies without sex".

[quote]I liked the Hallmark Hall of Fame movies from the 90s

The Hallmark movies on CBS pre-Hallmark channel were usually well done.

I’m about to visit my 68-year-old mother, and I’ll be forced to see my share of these.

About 1 in 4 has a minor supporting black character. Always the best friend. Never the romantic lead or rival.

There’s absolutely no gay characters.

Though my mom did get me when I commented last year that there are no Jewish characters.

“Well, Honey, this whole marathon is called ‘A Countdown to Christmas.’”

[quote]There’s absolutely no gay characters.

The network caters to conservative Christians and often casts that cunt Candace Cameron Bure in their movies. They are probably fine with not having gay characters in their movies as long as their target audience tunes in.

Hallmark movies used to be “event” specials with limited commercials when they were on network television. Like a US version of Masterpiece Theatre.

Vivica A. Fox did a Hallmark Channel movie a few years back. It wasn't a Christmas movie. Other than that it's usually white people in the lead roles and you never seen an interracial couple either. Hallmark has been called out on the lack of diversity quite a bit on social media and articles.

On the Hallmark Channel Facebook page, several people left messages about the lack of racial diversity and Hallmark responded about how one of their movies stars Alexa Vega and Carlos Pena Vega and how another movie has Sheryl Lee Ralph in it. Someone left a message about the lack of LGBTQ characters and Hallmark didn't respond at all to that message.

There are quite a few actresses who used to be real celebrities but are now doing stuff like this. Alicia Witt, Jodi Sweetin, Kimberly Williams-Paisley, Jessica Lowndes, Lacey Chabert... Joan Cusack is even in a new one.

[quote]Joan Cusack is even in a new one.

WTF? No, poor Joan

I recently watched one where the all the handles of the kichen cabinets were decorated with pine twigs tied with big red ribbons. And all the city apartment buildings were swathed in strings of pine, ribbons, lights and balls...for blocks and blocks. In this urban world of white chicklet smiles, there was one black, wise landlady and one Asian goofy co-worker.

I have watched some of those movies as well with my mother OP, and they are exactly as you describe.

Those movies are horrific!

[quote]The Hallmark movies on CBS pre-Hallmark channel were usually well done.

I remember watching those movies and enjoying them. Hallmark Channel doesn't care about quality. They care about quantity and pride themselves on having 20 or 30 new movies premiering each holiday season.

The one with Joan Cusack is on now: The Christmas Train

At least, Lifetime put me in one of their movies. Homophobic Hallmark Channel will never employ the gays for their movies.

I only watch real movies. TCM or Retro Plex all day for me.

Not all made for TV movies were/ are awful. Broadcast networks years ago made some great TV movies and mini-series years ago that had decent acting and writing. There was period where basic cable networks like USA, TNT, and A&E made original movies which were hit or miss, but they weren't horrible either. TNT made a movie about Steve Jobs and Bill Gates that was quite good. Comedy Central, MTV, and VH1 also made original movies for awhile.

Hallmark's movies rarely have decent acting and yes the photography of the movies is pretty flat. The women who frequently appear in these movies minus Candace Cameron are actresses who can't get regular work on TV shows in the US. Lacey Chabert occasionally guest stars on TV shows. Party of Five was the last TV show she did as a regular.

Basic cable networks that used to make TV movies stopped once they started making one hour dramas and sitcoms. Hallmark Channel has a few one hour dramas. Maybe, in time they will start making more original shows and will shift away from making dozens of movies each year.

More diversity than in a Woody Allen movie for sure.

I used to enjoy these movies years ago as holiday background filler on the TV but I now find them weirdly depressing and a little creepy for some reason

These movies are churned-out formulaic pablum with eerie Stepford Wife acting ensembles They are literally G rated movies about almost asexual white people, with Barbie and Ken lead actors who (just like the dolls ) have no anatomical parts. It's a snow globe come to life.

If you watch enough of them you start to notice a sterile vibe that's devoid of any depth or real life energy. My elderly mom watches them too and I will read or web surf while I "watch" them with her to pass the time. I am pretty lowbrow and watch my share of trashy tv but can't stand these movies because they are like watching some sheltered adolescent's depiction of real life. I don't expect gritty realism on Hallmark but, Lord, these movies are like watching paint dry because the plotlines are so cliche and banal.

I really like you R37. I feel the same way. Which is why I don't watch those movies. They kinda remained me of those old Disney channel original movies from the late 90s and early 00s. That me and my siblings would watch.

There all pretty much the same.

[quote]These movies are churned-out formulaic pablum with eerie Stepford Wife acting ensembles They are literally G rated movies about almost asexual white people, with Barbie and Ken lead actors who (just like the dolls ) have no anatomical parts. It's a snow globe come to life.

[quote]If you watch enough of them you start to notice a sterile vibe that's devoid of any depth or real life energy.

These are very good descriptions of Hallmark movies. I used to watch them background filler too and usually when I visited my parents. My mom is at the point where she no longer cares for them. She has noticed the same things as almost all or all white casts, asexual characters, and she has noticed how wooden many of the actors are in the movies. My dad is the one who still likes those movies and watches them in one room while my mom watching something else in another room.

I'm waiting for the one about a disgraced gay actor who learns to love again while in sex rehab for the holidays

R40 Hallmark doesn't even show straight people having sex. They will never do anything involving sex rehab.

Lifetime will probably touch on some of the sexual harassment and assault scandals in a couple of movies.

I am the opposite of R37. I had only flipped past these saccharine sweet Hallmark embarrassments, but now I find them as delicious as a box of Trader Joe's chocolate ice cream bon bons.

It has been a very hard year (Trump, etc.), and thinking globally is excruciating. The beauty of green garlands, the shiny baubles everywhere, in the dark of winter, is healing as cloud watching on a summer day.

Stopped reading at R1 just to point out that the Canadians seem to be more savy with the handing out of tax breaks than the US. How many tax breaks does the US handout that don't require hiring locals?

People keep saying Canadians have accents. I'm from Texas and I don't hear any accent when Canadians speak. It sounds like perfect English to me(excluding those from the south of Quebec).

R43 There are states in the US that hand out tax breaks for filming do require hiring locals as crew members or cast members. Texas is one of those states. The guy who played Buddy Garrity on Friday Night Lights is pretty much based in Texas and has worked in a bunch of movies and TV shows down there.

I hate those movies, it’s candy box crap.

ghfjtj

There are so many movies that center around an average girl dating/marrying a royal. Ol' Sparkle Markle probably loves those.

All of the men look like JC Penny catalog sweater models, which terrifies me

I used to jerk off to the men's underwear section of that, R49.

I don't really get why people like these movies. So schlocky. But... there is clearly a market for it. Hallmark starts Christmas movies every year on Halloween weekend.

My bf hate watches these. He starts out picking them apart with valid criticism and within 25 minutes he is sucked in saying things like "this asshole needs to mind his own business" or "He would love you more honey if your hair wasn't so flat". It's very endearing. He also shouts " What would Wilfred Brimley do?". Sometimes just "WWWBD" loudly.

All Hallmark movies are very formulaic.

R51 The target audience is pretty much conservative white Christians. Hallmark used to associate with some media organization that is anti-gay.

Those Christmas movies where they have to save the apartment building/toy store/department store/soup kitchen/homeless shelter/theater from foreclosure.

The ones where a single woman meets and falls for a hot young widower with a precocious child who takes an instant liking to them.

So cookie cutter. And don't get me started on the cheesy villains and the even cheesier score which is reused over and over again in every movie.

R42 WaPo had an article about that yesterday

Meghan Markle has starred in at least 2 Hallmark movies because I watched them with my elderly mom this year (who kept telling me that there was no possible way the Queen would ever approve Harry getting engaged to an American actress)

I agree with all the criticisms of other posters. And, I'd like to add that Hallmark movies seem to only cast has-been actors from the 80's and 90's.

Wasn't there one reuniting Lisa Whelchel and Kim Fields a few years back?

LOL [R52]

R59 Yeah, they did a movie together.

How long before Jennifer Garner is all over these?

Oh, Rachel Bilson *must* be in some of those.

I hate those Hallmark movies. It's like there's a watermark all over the screen saying "no gays allowed!". Puts me off bigtime. Lifetime movies can be more inclusive and can be fun in a drole, frau kind of way.

R63 I don't think Bilson has ever done any.

Full round up of 2017 Hallmark Channel Christmas Movies premieres....the photoshop worked its magic on some of these posters

and the Hallmark Movies & Mysteries (which is the second Hallmark channel) premieres

They already have Danica McKeller, they don't need Bilson

There was one with Luke MacFarlane obviously playing it straight. Now there’s a handsome boy with buttocks worth the pinching! Christmas pinches.

R69

McFarlane seems to have become a fixture of Hallmark movies. He does one every year. The new one premieres tonight

GREAT article, R56 — thanks for sharing!

This Lifetime one is a guilty pleasure of mine.

I didn't know Luke Macfarlane was doing these....on the bright side he still looks hot.

R73 his CV include these Hallmark productions:

Karen Kingsbury's Maggie's Christmas Miracle (TV Movie) 2017

The Birthday Wish (TV Movie) 2017 (not Christmas themed but still Hallmark saccharine)

The Mistletoe Promise (TV Movie) 2016

Christmas Land (TV Movie) 2015

The Memory Book (TV Movie) 2014

R72 I like that one. The acting in that movie has a lot of energy compared to what you would see on Hallmark.

I think this is the only way I could watch these movies. Do the guys ever take their shirts off?

R62 Jennifer Garner is to rich to do cheap shit like hallmark channel movies. You'll never see her in one.

I only watch Hallmark/Lifetime Holiday TV-Movies if Andrew Walker / Andrew W. Walker is in it.

Garner shills credit card commercials FFS. Her latest movie made $796 at the box office. The bitch can't get decent acting jobs to save her life and would be grateful to get work for Hallmark. She's only half as rich as she used to be after her divorce.

[quote]Do the guys ever take their shirts off?

No. Hallmark never shows the couples having sex or in bed. It's very family friendly. Some of the Lifetime Christmas movies do show couples having sex and hot guys with their shirts off.

The lead couple don't even kiss until the final scene - and then it is usually something pretty chaste by the tree or outside as the snow starts to fall - usually in the middle of a crowd of people singing Christmas carols.

Brandon Routh and Gregory Harrison were in one of the better ones (not as a couple). Also a couple of cats.

Once in a while one of these movies will overcome the formula. But not very often. And not starring Candace Xtian Cameron.

Andrew Walker has FIVE Holiday movies on Hallmark & Lifetime in the next two weeks with multiple airings of each!

I'm DVR-ing them all!

R79 Jennifer lives in very ritzy area of Brentwood. I don't think she's hurting for money. I'm sure she's accumulated enough wealth to be just fine for the rest of her life. She strikes me as a frugal person with her finances. And then there's Ben's money too.

If it's Canada and the Holidays, it must be Andrew Walker!

Does Andrew ever take his shirt off???

He's been shirtless in several Lifetime movies over the last 15 years. I don't think in any Holiday movies, though.

He's never been shirtless on Hallmark as said above.

Some of these have really hot guys in them

Slate, predictably, being bitchy about Hallmark Christmas movies and fretting about the political, gender and racial identity side of things.

these are all stinkbombs. plots for the dumb an unimaginative. heck half of them star candace cameron who cannot act!

Slate so totally misses the point. These are meant as comfort food, not trenchant commentary on the issues of our time.

I know some Trumpsters who love Hallmark movies because the couples are usually white and there are no gays.

[quote]these are all stinkbombs. plots for the dumb an unimaginative. heck half of them star candace cameron who cannot act!

Outside of Netflix and Fuller House, Hallmark is probably the only other network wanting to work with Candace Cameron. I don't I have ever seen her in a Lifetime movie. In time, Danica McKellar or Lacey Chabert will probably dethrone Candace as Queen of Hallmark Movies.

Doesn't Candace own the 2 highest rated Hallmark movies ever? She isn't going anywhere unless Danica or Lacey up their fundie creds to incite the fraud.

If Netflix can buy her leftovers, they can damn sure take mine.

[quote] I know some Trumpsters who love Hallmark movies because the couples are usually white and there are no gays.

As for the latter, that's what they think.

Wasn't Slate the same one that posted that manifesto by a heterosexual pedophile?

Candace will be stuck with Hallmark for the rest of her career. Fuller House only shots 13 episodes her season so that leaves her with plenty of time to fly up to Canada to film a bunch movies each year.

[quote]If Netflix can buy her leftovers, they can damn sure take mine. —DL favorite Emily Schulman, revising the final draft of SMALLER WONDER

Oh poor Emily, people already get their robot fix with Westworld, Humans, and The Good Place. There isn't any room for Smaller Wonder.

top rated Hallmark movies in 2017 so far

1) Switched Christmas (Candace Cameron Bure) 5,166,000 viewers

2) The Christmas Train ( Dermot Mulroney,Kimberly Williams-Paisley, Joan Cusack, Danny Glover)t4,872,000

3) The Christmas Cottage (Merritt Patterson)t4,565,000

4) Coming Home for Christmast(Danica McKellar) 4,114,000

5) Finding Santa (Eric Winter, Jodie Sweetin)t4,061,000

top not Christmas themed movie All of my Heart: Inn Love ( Lacey Chabert) with 2,782,000 viewers

top rated Hallmark Movies and Mystery movies in 2017

1) Engaging Father Christmast(Erin Krakow)tt1,843,000

2) Christmas in Angel Fallst( Rachel Boston, Beau Bridges)tt1,769,000

3) Karen Kingsbury’s Maggie's Chrismtas Miraclet( Jill Wagner, Luke Macfarlane)tt1,664,000

4) A Bramble House Christmas ( Autumn Reeser)ttt1,656,000

5) Garage Sale Mystery: Murder by Textt(Lori Loughlin)tt1,650,000

[quote] Oh poor Emily, people already get their robot fix with Westworld, Humans, and The Good Place. There isn't any room for Smaller Wonder.

Poor Emily? At least she didn't sleep under a bridge!

[quote]Poor Emily? At least she didn't sleep under a bridge!

Is there room for two under that bridge?

I wonder if Candace Cunt Bure is pissed about this.

R103 “We have hired many LGBTQ actors,” the statement noted.

Apart from Luke McFarlane, who are these LGBTQ actors they hire? Do they count closet cases?

I hear that these movies are co-funded by military psy-ops. For what purpose?

[quote]Apart from Luke McFarlane, who are these LGBTQ actors they hire? Do they count closet cases?

I'm guessing they are counting Catherine Bell in there. Bell is those Good Witch movies and show. She came out as dating another woman last year.

I am watching The Christmas Train. Well actually I am deep cleaning my colon to take 10 inch bbc in two hours, and glancing at this. movie between swigs of whisky. Old Dermot Mulroney is still very handsome.

It's obnoxious that they start running these movies 24/7 starting before Halloween - preempting my Golden Girls, Murder She Wrote and I Love Lucy reruns for over 2 months. Monsters!

But please tell me, dafaq is a Christmas Train. I mean really.

All these movies look like they are filmed through a thick plastic show globe.

Someone should do a derive and overdub all new, disgusting dialogue and maybe some visually matched hard core porn subplot.

[quote]I know some Trumpsters who love Hallmark movies because the couples are usually white and there are no gays.

I completely believe this. Also, no other religions, no uppity women, no deep thought...

no sharp edges physically or cinematically.

Apparently they have a few warehouses filled with hideous treacly holiday decor and plaster the same stuff over set after set after set. Every single danmed surface is covered with it.

The Hallmark 2 month Christmas commercial is something I avoid. I often have it on later at night for Murder, She Wrote and the occasional Monk or other mystery film (typically, a disappointment) during the rest of the year. I'm sure their research showed they sold more stuff when they did all this Christmas activity, so they gradually moved their Christmas schedule back to the end of October. And now they even have several days in July.

[quote]I completely believe this. Also, no other religions, no uppity women, no deep thought...

Some of the movies will have uppity career women who later change their ways due to the men they get romantically involved with.

This non-Hallmark, non-Christmas movie (although I vaguely recall snow in some scenes), romance novel-type Lifetime movie is notable, to me anyway, for being the first thing in which I remember seeing the aforementioned Andrew W. Walker.

[quote] I read some article in EW that said that these movies film in 2-3 weeks. That explains the bad cinematography.

How long did it take to make a TV movie in the 1970s and 1980s?

Why do these movies always look so flat? What are they filmed with? It looks like they use the cheapest camera possible. I saw this POS was on the other night and I thought of this thread. I couldn't watch it though, it was horrible. Could Andrew MCcarthy ever act? I think his boyish good looks got him so far for so long, now that he is old his "acting" style just isn't working anymore.

[quote]Could Andrew MCcarthy ever act?

If I remember correctly, the answer to that was no. I think even when he was young and cute he was not considered a good actor.

[quote] I read some article in EW that said that these movies film in 2-3 weeks. That explains the bad cinematography.

[quote]How long did it take to make a TV movie in the 1970s and 1980s?

It was probably a few weeks for TV movies in the past. There are bunch of TV movies from that period up on youtube and some of them had shaky camera work.

Joan Cusack and Danny Glover are doing Hallmark Christmas movies?! Do they have gambling debts to pay off or something?!

[quote]Why do these movies always look so flat? What are they filmed with? It looks like they use the cheapest camera possible.

Everything about these movies is cheap. It wouldn't be surprising if they are using the cheapest cameras out there.

Kevin Spacey is having trouble getting work now.....hint, hint, Hallmark!!!!!

R122 Hallmark films in Canada. Would Spacey be ok fucking Canadian twinks who say aboot?

It's not cheap cameras as much as how they light the scens and use a deeper depth of field. Means focus is not as critical (actors don't have to perfectly hit their marks, so stuff gets shot faster) but everything's in focus, whereas usually backgrounds are much blurrier.

Just randomly stopped on "Wrapped Up In Christmas" (this one's Lifetime), having recognized Brendan Fehr (Roswell, Bones, The Night Shift) and then DL fave Kim "Tootie" Fields. Shocker, this one appears to be shot in Utah.

They dont need "cinematography". They are shot like workaday tv shows because that is what they are.

I haven't decided if the digital snow is the most annoying or most appealingly tacky distraction.

Also, I find myself scanning each scene to count the number of garlands, wreaths and balls and quickly ponder the incongruousness of why certain places or objects are decorated. A pickup truck? A banker's office?

I also adore the Christmas "lights" being "on" outside in daylight and being visible.

Also all the cheap wet blacktop in the Potemkin village "charming villages" decor, in "cheery" outdoor scenes

Town gazebos figure prominently.

Why hasn't SNL parodied these schlockfests?

Most of the women do soap-opera whisper voice acting.

[quote]How long did it take to make a TV movie in the 1970s and 1980s?

This is kind of a sad answer - Susan Lucci would usually be off All My Children 3 to 4 weeks during her TV movie phase.

However, there was a wide range of quality of TV movies back in the day. Some were just guilty pleasures, but some were well done with higher production values, actors etc.

In night scenes, the lighting is especially revealing. All the sprayed on snow foam looks like shiny disgusting grey slime.

I think Hallmark should make 1 white trash xmas movie for every 5 of these middle-class Aryan fantasies. And 1 ethnic trash movie for every 10. The trashy ones would be just a popular in the mix, I guarantee it.

The Parkersburg Christmas Miracle, A Hallmark Classic

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

I 💟 U R131 !

The black friend is almost always female. She has a slight butterscotch complexion, not too dark. The hair is colored a soft brown and done in a medium perm, picked round, chunky, and big so the audience remembers this is a black woman they’re seeing. Her figure is slim with the same flat ass and she wears the same frau sweaters as the white female lead. Even if the action takes place in the Evil Big City, the black friend doesn’t have a trace of a urban or American modern black vernacular, the only give away is some badly written dialogue like “Girl, if you want your man back you need to show him!”

Hate the formular. Big City Life = Bad and soulless! / Small towns = Traditonal Family Values = Christmas! = Yay!

Gag me with a spoon.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

On the very very rate occasion, a black woman might be the white heroine's boss. However, black boss lady has been corrupted by the Evil Big City, and only cares about business and success, and expects white frauletter heroine to do her job, until white fraulette heroine teaches her the value of christmas cookies and tinsel. Thank you white fraulette heroine!!

God, even the ads are formulaic! The man wears green (or red), the woman wears red (or green). Snow. Mistletoe. Title written in cursive.

Gag.

Bryan Singer is available to direct

[quote]Why hasn't SNL parodied these schlockfests?

I don't think enough of SNL's audience would be familiar with what they'd be parodying.

Next Christmas's lineup will include movies featuring Kevin Spacey, Dustin Hoffman, Matt Lauer, Johnny Iuzzini, and many other Sex Pests.

Directed by Bryan Singer, Woody Allen, Dan Schneider and Roman Polanski.

Produced by Harvey Weinstein.

[quote]Why hasn't SNL parodied these schlockfests?

This is the closest parody they have done. It's more about making fun of the titles and plots.

MAD TV would have made the same points better than either R142 or OP.

I agree a MadTV parody would have great. Too bad the MadTV revival on CW flopped.

I want to see Phylicia Rashad's Christmas Nap

It’s candy box crap!

[quote] I agree a MadTV parody would have great. Too bad the MadTV revival on CW flopped.

It should have been in late night, but Fox apparently gave up 11:00 PM Saturday after the Wanda Sykes show ended, and the CW never even tried it there. And doing it in live-action again seemed redundant once the animated [italic]MAD[/italic] was on Cartoon Network.

[quote]Apart from Luke McFarlane, who are these LGBTQ actors they hire? Do they count closet cases?

Some of the Canadians who play minor characters might be gay.

[quote]I want to see Phylicia Rashad's Christmas Nap

Does the opening scene show Cosby drugging her eggnog?

Hallmark can’t be all that homophobic. After all, their daily HOME & FAMILY show often features ultra femme Ken Wengart as one of its on-air DIY guys. He even talks up his family a lot, which includes the hubby and kids. Admittedly, I only watch it to see hottie Mark Steines and his magnificent bubble butt.

Of the Canadian studs they often get to star in these things, I prefer hunky Damon Runyan.

[quote]Hallmark can’t be all that homophobic. After all, their daily HOME & FAMILY show often features ultra femme Ken Wengart as one of its on-air DIY guys. He even talks up his family a lot, which includes the hubby and kids. Admittedly, I only watch it to see hottie Mark Steines and his magnificent bubble butt.

I think they are just homophobic when it comes to their movies and original shows. Hallmark has aired the episode of The Golden Girls that features Blanche's gay brother.

Hallmark movies are targeted to women. They’re akin to those old Harlequin romance novels. It’s pure escapism and wish fulfillment fantasies. The straight female characters fall in love with heterosexual men in these movies. That’s the way it is.

^Exactly.

[quote]I think they are just homophobic when it comes to their movies and original shows. Hallmark has aired the episode of The Golden Girls that features Blanche's gay brother.

Their versions of GG are a complete mess if you own the DVDs or remember the network run; the episode "The Days and Nights of Sophia Petrillo" cuts the whole scene of Sophia volunteering with the boy with AIDS.

Now you want to talk about channels who skip over episodes, there was a fly-by-night digital cable rerun-and-infomercial channel recently called FamilyNet that had a bunch of Sony shows including [italic]Silver Spoons[/italic]; they skipped over Pearl Bailey's guest appearance but not Bruce Jenner's!

Mark Steines is a DADDY. What’s his story?

I found myself horrifically addicted to one of their shitty series on Netflix - that crappy one about the prim schoolteacher and the Mountie - and dear *god* it was bad. The one thing that I noticed a lot was that in the first series, sorry, "season" was that the mountie had a noticeable bulge whenever he walked and then, whoosh, second season he looked like he'd been told how to tuck it away by RuPaul. There is *zero* chemistry and/or sex appeal in these guys, none. And I have to agree: they're all seemingly populated by Canadian WASPS.

R157 That Mountie guy is hot. He guest starred on NBC's Timeless when they filmed up in Canada last year.

And who the actual kitteny fuck keeps getting Lori fucking Loughlin work? Seriously, whose cock is that bitch licking?

Steines was a bachelor for a long time after divorcing Leanza Cornett, but he recently remarried and they just had a baby girl. It’s too bad, because I’m sure neither wife knew and/or knows how to handle all that ass.

R157, are you referring to When Calls the Heart? A stupid name for a tv series if I’ve ever heard one.

That's the shit, R161. I don't know why I kept watching it. It's not as eye-rollingly awful as Downton and has zero sexy-times in it. Honestly, it was chastity-belt telly. Awful crap.

“Cedar Cove” was a guilty pleasure of mine, I’m ashamed to admit.

SNL did another parody for the recent James Franco episode. It didn't make it to the broadcast show.

I'd love to see a Mystery Science Theater show that featured some of these.

[quote]All of the men look like JC Penny catalog sweater models, which terrifies me

I think you've captured it perfectly. That image on the right looks like it came right out of a Sears catalog ("Our new line of stylish winter coats for him and for her, just the thing for those cold winter nights!")

This little gem has flown under our radar for too long:

There's a Thomas Kinkade gallery in Monterey, CA and it's just awful. I call it the "Communist Doll House."

Marcia Gay Harden, Oscar winner, is in that Christmas Cottage movie. Sad!

Check your agenda:

Come out of the cold and join Lori Loughlin by the fire for Hallmark Channel’s “2018 Winterfest Preview Show” airing on Saturday, December 30th (9:30 p.m. ET/PT). In the half hour special, Lori gives viewers a first look at the network’s annual programming event “Winterfest” from a cozy and warm cabin-like setting. “Winterfest,” a slate of four all new winter-themed movies premiering every Saturday in January, kicks off with “Love on the Slopes” (Saturday, January 6th 9 p.m. ET/PT), followed by “Frozen in Love” (Saturday, January 13th 9 p.m. ET/PT), “One Winter Weekend” (Saturday, January 20th 9 p.m. ET/PT) and “Winter’s Dream” (Saturday, January 27th 9 p.m. ET/PT).

"Marcia Gay Harden, Oscar winner, is in that Christmas Cottage movie. Sad!"

So is Peter O'Toole, a pretty big step down from Lawrence of Arabia

Some of the comments on this site are hilarious especially this one that is response to Hallmark being called for out for homophobia.

[quote]Not a complaint-you could perhaps have more diversity, but you must and most importantly keep the wholesome family heterosexual values. Husband and Wife, boy and girl. We don't need gansta drama, BET could be producing there own Christmas and wholesome romance shows,but I guess the outcry must not be that big-just a few loudmouths wanting to start trouble. If there is such a large outcry for homosexual relationship or Christmas shows I would think a LGBTQ channel would be rising to the occasion. Keep your family values, your not going to lose your strong base, it would be foolish to do otherwise.

My mother has been watching these nonstop since I got here last week. They're so sickly sweet I find it nauseating.

I watched one with Gretchen Weiner in it the other day. She was playing Office Gretchen! who suddenly wishes for bravery. I'll admit, her boss in the film was definitely fuckable, but my god, she's so deserving of a gunshot to the vaj. Awful creature.

[quote]This is kind of a sad answer - Susan Lucci would usually be off All My Children 3 to 4 weeks during her TV movie phase.

[quote]However, there was a wide range of quality of TV movies back in the day. Some were just guilty pleasures, but some were well done with higher production values, actors etc.

I remember those days. Some TV movies from the 70s-90s were much better than what Hallmark and Lifetime churns out. I remember some TV movies have bad cinematography, but the acting was top notch. Many of the TV movies Patty Duke did were fantastic when the supporting cast members were just as good as her.

Well, we've moved on to our next Hallmark Holiday -- Valentine's Day! And yes, there are movies to go with it! First up, Lacey Chabert in "My Secret Valentine!"

The loyal Hallmark viewers are pissed because Psych reruns were added to the channel. Some of the other reviews and complaints are hilarious.

You do get kind of hooked on having these movies on in the background. They're harmless fluff.