Serving up this steaming pile of
Celebrity Gossip
Gay Politics
Gay News
and Pointless Bitchery
Since 1995

Hallmark Holiday Movies

Spent the weekend visiting my mother who is 78. She loves these Hallmark movies. I find them flatly photographed, poorly acted, poorly written but above all, really, really boring. Not to mention the usual tripe about city life making you cold and heartless as compared to small town American (actually Canadian- the Canadian accents are THICK on all the extras) being so real and welcoming. And there is the usual entry about a royal family (with wavering British accents) and an American nanny that is the same recycled script, year after year.

Yeah, she watches a lot of these.

by Anonymousreply 8814 hours ago

Hallmark's usual method of operation is to cast one or two Americans in leading roles and then the rest of the cast is filled with awful Canadian actors. Those awful Canadian actors aren't the types who take dialect or diction classes. The Canadian industry pretty much knows that Hallmark wants their movies and shows done quick and cheap so they'll hand out the tax breaks as long as Canadians actors get roles.

by Anonymousreply 111/20/2017

The only Hallmark Christmas movie I like is The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year with a really hot lead and Henry Winkler. I will watch it if I happen to come upon it while channel surfing. Winkler and the hot guy have more chemistry than the hot guy does with Brooke Burns who plays his potential love interest. Still, I find it enjoyable. Ask Mom is she likes that one.

by Anonymousreply 211/20/2017

Hallmark filmed one of their new movies in Utah. I wonder if they are slowly being pressured into having more of their movies filmed in the States.

by Anonymousreply 311/20/2017

I read some article in EW that said that these movies film in 2-3 weeks. That explains the bad cinematography.

by Anonymousreply 411/21/2017

They’re so ridiculous: all filmed in Canada in July. Fake snow, all white people with really bleached teeth, pointless story plots. Pablum for the dumb masses.

by Anonymousreply 511/21/2017

What's really horrible are the CGI Christmas lights on the walkway, on the house, etc. They can't even afford real ones in the exterior shots, so they use the cheapest CGI possible.

The EVIL City Life!

Santa is real in all of these.

Getting a chance to relive your life but this time actually spending time with your loved ones - AND the hot guy who got away (when you left for the Big City)! Forsaking the EVIL City Life for good ol' Smalltown USA.

by Anonymousreply 611/21/2017

Lifetime makes similar movies. But, some of those movies film in the US and aren't always about evil city life and sometimes the lead characters are non-white.

by Anonymousreply 711/21/2017

I remember the movie that R2 mentioned. That one wasn't a bad movie.

by Anonymousreply 811/21/2017

"all white actors"

There's usually a sassy black friend or office assistant.

by Anonymousreply 911/21/2017

Exaxctly, R5... and they spray all the green, leafy trees with fake snow.

by Anonymousreply 1011/21/2017

R9, maybe on Lifetime but not on Hallmark.

by Anonymousreply 1111/21/2017

They are Harlequin romance books come to life.

by Anonymousreply 1211/21/2017

[quote]They are Harlequin romance books come to life.

Without the skin that is shown on the paper back covers with the woman in the heaving bodice and the bare chested man.

by Anonymousreply 1311/21/2017

How coincidental. From today's Christian Science Monitor via Drudge:

by Anonymousreply 1411/21/2017

Some of the women I work with live for these. You would be surprised at what a big deal the Hallmark holiday movie season is.

by Anonymousreply 1511/21/2017

There's a drinking game. It improves the movies immensely.

I like to watch with my boyfriend and guess the plot points.

by Anonymousreply 1611/21/2017

I liked the Hallmark Hall of Fame movies from the 90s

by Anonymousreply 1711/21/2017

R12 That's a good description. A female friend of mine was into these movies for awhile, but grew bored with them. She referred to them as "lower budget Nicholas Sparks movies without sex".

by Anonymousreply 1811/21/2017

[quote]I liked the Hallmark Hall of Fame movies from the 90s

The Hallmark movies on CBS pre-Hallmark channel were usually well done.

by Anonymousreply 1911/21/2017

I’m about to visit my 68-year-old mother, and I’ll be forced to see my share of these.

About 1 in 4 has a minor supporting black character. Always the best friend. Never the romantic lead or rival.

There’s absolutely no gay characters.

Though my mom did get me when I commented last year that there are no Jewish characters.

“Well, Honey, this whole marathon is called ‘A Countdown to Christmas.’”

by Anonymousreply 2011/21/2017

[quote]There’s absolutely no gay characters.

The network caters to conservative Christians and often casts that cunt Candace Cameron Bure in their movies. They are probably fine with not having gay characters in their movies as long as their target audience tunes in.

by Anonymousreply 2111/21/2017

Hallmark movies used to be “event” specials with limited commercials when they were on network television. Like a US version of Masterpiece Theatre.

by Anonymousreply 2211/21/2017

Vivica A. Fox did a Hallmark Channel movie a few years back. It wasn't a Christmas movie. Other than that it's usually white people in the lead roles and you never seen an interracial couple either. Hallmark has been called out on the lack of diversity quite a bit on social media and articles.

by Anonymousreply 2311/22/2017

On the Hallmark Channel Facebook page, several people left messages about the lack of racial diversity and Hallmark responded about how one of their movies stars Alexa Vega and Carlos Pena Vega and how another movie has Sheryl Lee Ralph in it. Someone left a message about the lack of LGBTQ characters and Hallmark didn't respond at all to that message.

by Anonymousreply 2411/22/2017

There are quite a few actresses who used to be real celebrities but are now doing stuff like this. Alicia Witt, Jodi Sweetin, Kimberly Williams-Paisley, Jessica Lowndes, Lacey Chabert... Joan Cusack is even in a new one.

by Anonymousreply 2511/23/2017

[quote]Joan Cusack is even in a new one.

WTF? No, poor Joan

by Anonymousreply 2611/23/2017
by Anonymousreply 2711/23/2017

I recently watched one where the all the handles of the kichen cabinets were decorated with pine twigs tied with big red ribbons. And all the city apartment buildings were swathed in strings of pine, ribbons, lights and balls...for blocks and blocks. In this urban world of white chicklet smiles, there was one black, wise landlady and one Asian goofy co-worker.

by Anonymousreply 2811/23/2017

I have watched some of those movies as well with my mother OP, and they are exactly as you describe.

by Anonymousreply 2911/23/2017

Those movies are horrific!

by Anonymousreply 3011/23/2017

[quote]The Hallmark movies on CBS pre-Hallmark channel were usually well done.

I remember watching those movies and enjoying them. Hallmark Channel doesn't care about quality. They care about quantity and pride themselves on having 20 or 30 new movies premiering each holiday season.

by Anonymousreply 3111/24/2017

The one with Joan Cusack is on now: The Christmas Train

by Anonymousreply 3211/25/2017

At least, Lifetime put me in one of their movies. Homophobic Hallmark Channel will never employ the gays for their movies.

by Anonymousreply 3312/02/2017

I only watch real movies. TCM or Retro Plex all day for me.

by Anonymousreply 3412/02/2017

Not all made for TV movies were/ are awful. Broadcast networks years ago made some great TV movies and mini-series years ago that had decent acting and writing. There was period where basic cable networks like USA, TNT, and A&E made original movies which were hit or miss, but they weren't horrible either. TNT made a movie about Steve Jobs and Bill Gates that was quite good. Comedy Central, MTV, and VH1 also made original movies for awhile.

Hallmark's movies rarely have decent acting and yes the photography of the movies is pretty flat. The women who frequently appear in these movies minus Candace Cameron are actresses who can't get regular work on TV shows in the US. Lacey Chabert occasionally guest stars on TV shows. Party of Five was the last TV show she did as a regular.

Basic cable networks that used to make TV movies stopped once they started making one hour dramas and sitcoms. Hallmark Channel has a few one hour dramas. Maybe, in time they will start making more original shows and will shift away from making dozens of movies each year.

by Anonymousreply 3512/03/2017

More diversity than in a Woody Allen movie for sure.

by Anonymousreply 3612/03/2017

I used to enjoy these movies years ago as holiday background filler on the TV but I now find them weirdly depressing and a little creepy for some reason

These movies are churned-out formulaic pablum with eerie Stepford Wife acting ensembles They are literally G rated movies about almost asexual white people, with Barbie and Ken lead actors who (just like the dolls ) have no anatomical parts. It's a snow globe come to life.

If you watch enough of them you start to notice a sterile vibe that's devoid of any depth or real life energy. My elderly mom watches them too and I will read or web surf while I "watch" them with her to pass the time. I am pretty lowbrow and watch my share of trashy tv but can't stand these movies because they are like watching some sheltered adolescent's depiction of real life. I don't expect gritty realism on Hallmark but, Lord, these movies are like watching paint dry because the plotlines are so cliche and banal.

by Anonymousreply 3712/03/2017

I really like you R37. I feel the same way. Which is why I don't watch those movies. They kinda remained me of those old Disney channel original movies from the late 90s and early 00s. That me and my siblings would watch.

There all pretty much the same.

by Anonymousreply 3812/03/2017

[quote]These movies are churned-out formulaic pablum with eerie Stepford Wife acting ensembles They are literally G rated movies about almost asexual white people, with Barbie and Ken lead actors who (just like the dolls ) have no anatomical parts. It's a snow globe come to life.

[quote]If you watch enough of them you start to notice a sterile vibe that's devoid of any depth or real life energy.

These are very good descriptions of Hallmark movies. I used to watch them background filler too and usually when I visited my parents. My mom is at the point where she no longer cares for them. She has noticed the same things as almost all or all white casts, asexual characters, and she has noticed how wooden many of the actors are in the movies. My dad is the one who still likes those movies and watches them in one room while my mom watching something else in another room.

by Anonymousreply 39Last Tuesday at 6:04 PM

I'm waiting for the one about a disgraced gay actor who learns to love again while in sex rehab for the holidays

by Anonymousreply 40Last Tuesday at 6:08 PM

R40 Hallmark doesn't even show straight people having sex. They will never do anything involving sex rehab.

Lifetime will probably touch on some of the sexual harassment and assault scandals in a couple of movies.

by Anonymousreply 41Last Tuesday at 6:10 PM

I am the opposite of R37. I had only flipped past these saccharine sweet Hallmark embarrassments, but now I find them as delicious as a box of Trader Joe's chocolate ice cream bon bons.

It has been a very hard year (Trump, etc.), and thinking globally is excruciating. The beauty of green garlands, the shiny baubles everywhere, in the dark of winter, is healing as cloud watching on a summer day.

by Anonymousreply 42Last Tuesday at 6:16 PM

Stopped reading at R1 just to point out that the Canadians seem to be more savy with the handing out of tax breaks than the US. How many tax breaks does the US handout that don't require hiring locals?

by Anonymousreply 43Last Tuesday at 7:58 PM

People keep saying Canadians have accents. I'm from Texas and I don't hear any accent when Canadians speak. It sounds like perfect English to me(excluding those from the south of Quebec).

by Anonymousreply 44Last Tuesday at 8:01 PM

R43 There are states in the US that hand out tax breaks for filming do require hiring locals as crew members or cast members. Texas is one of those states. The guy who played Buddy Garrity on Friday Night Lights is pretty much based in Texas and has worked in a bunch of movies and TV shows down there.

by Anonymousreply 45Last Wednesday at 4:20 AM

I hate those movies, it’s candy box crap.

by Anonymousreply 46Last Wednesday at 4:41 AM


by Anonymousreply 47Last Wednesday at 12:36 PM

There are so many movies that center around an average girl dating/marrying a royal. Ol' Sparkle Markle probably loves those.

by Anonymousreply 48Last Friday at 11:21 AM

All of the men look like JC Penny catalog sweater models, which terrifies me

by Anonymousreply 49Last Friday at 11:35 AM

I used to jerk off to the men's underwear section of that, R49.

by Anonymousreply 50Last Friday at 11:54 AM

I don't really get why people like these movies. So schlocky. But... there is clearly a market for it. Hallmark starts Christmas movies every year on Halloween weekend.

by Anonymousreply 51Last Friday at 12:30 PM

My bf hate watches these. He starts out picking them apart with valid criticism and within 25 minutes he is sucked in saying things like "this asshole needs to mind his own business" or "He would love you more honey if your hair wasn't so flat". It's very endearing. He also shouts " What would Wilfred Brimley do?". Sometimes just "WWWBD" loudly.

by Anonymousreply 52Last Friday at 12:41 PM

All Hallmark movies are very formulaic.

by Anonymousreply 53Last Friday at 12:42 PM

R51 The target audience is pretty much conservative white Christians. Hallmark used to associate with some media organization that is anti-gay.

by Anonymousreply 54Last Friday at 2:04 PM

Those Christmas movies where they have to save the apartment building/toy store/department store/soup kitchen/homeless shelter/theater from foreclosure.

The ones where a single woman meets and falls for a hot young widower with a precocious child who takes an instant liking to them.

So cookie cutter. And don't get me started on the cheesy villains and the even cheesier score which is reused over and over again in every movie.

by Anonymousreply 55Last Friday at 3:21 PM

R42 WaPo had an article about that yesterday

by Anonymousreply 56Last Friday at 4:17 PM

Meghan Markle has starred in at least 2 Hallmark movies because I watched them with my elderly mom this year (who kept telling me that there was no possible way the Queen would ever approve Harry getting engaged to an American actress)

by Anonymousreply 57Last Saturday at 4:49 PM

I agree with all the criticisms of other posters. And, I'd like to add that Hallmark movies seem to only cast has-been actors from the 80's and 90's.

by Anonymousreply 58Last Saturday at 6:03 PM

Wasn't there one reuniting Lisa Whelchel and Kim Fields a few years back?

by Anonymousreply 59Last Saturday at 6:06 PM

LOL [R52]

by Anonymousreply 60Last Saturday at 6:12 PM

R59 Yeah, they did a movie together.

by Anonymousreply 61Last Saturday at 6:18 PM

How long before Jennifer Garner is all over these?

by Anonymousreply 62a day ago

Oh, Rachel Bilson *must* be in some of those.

by Anonymousreply 63a day ago

I hate those Hallmark movies. It's like there's a watermark all over the screen saying "no gays allowed!". Puts me off bigtime. Lifetime movies can be more inclusive and can be fun in a drole, frau kind of way.

by Anonymousreply 64a day ago

R63 I don't think Bilson has ever done any.

by Anonymousreply 65a day ago

Full round up of 2017 Hallmark Channel Christmas Movies premieres....the photoshop worked its magic on some of these posters

by Anonymousreply 66a day ago

and the Hallmark Movies & Mysteries (which is the second Hallmark channel) premieres

by Anonymousreply 67a day ago

They already have Danica McKeller, they don't need Bilson

by Anonymousreply 68a day ago

There was one with Luke MacFarlane obviously playing it straight. Now there’s a handsome boy with buttocks worth the pinching! Christmas pinches.

by Anonymousreply 69a day ago


McFarlane seems to have become a fixture of Hallmark movies. He does one every year. The new one premieres tonight

by Anonymousreply 70a day ago

GREAT article, R56 — thanks for sharing!

by Anonymousreply 71a day ago

This Lifetime one is a guilty pleasure of mine.

by Anonymousreply 72a day ago

I didn't know Luke Macfarlane was doing these....on the bright side he still looks hot.

by Anonymousreply 73a day ago

R73 his CV include these Hallmark productions:

Karen Kingsbury's Maggie's Christmas Miracle (TV Movie) 2017

The Birthday Wish (TV Movie) 2017 (not Christmas themed but still Hallmark saccharine)

The Mistletoe Promise (TV Movie) 2016

Christmas Land (TV Movie) 2015

The Memory Book (TV Movie) 2014

by Anonymousreply 74a day ago

R72 I like that one. The acting in that movie has a lot of energy compared to what you would see on Hallmark.

by Anonymousreply 7518 hours ago

I think this is the only way I could watch these movies. Do the guys ever take their shirts off?

by Anonymousreply 7616 hours ago

R62 Jennifer Garner is to rich to do cheap shit like hallmark channel movies. You'll never see her in one.

by Anonymousreply 7715 hours ago

I only watch Hallmark/Lifetime Holiday TV-Movies if Andrew Walker / Andrew W. Walker is in it.

by Anonymousreply 7815 hours ago

Garner shills credit card commercials FFS. Her latest movie made $796 at the box office. The bitch can't get decent acting jobs to save her life and would be grateful to get work for Hallmark. She's only half as rich as she used to be after her divorce.

by Anonymousreply 7915 hours ago

[quote]Do the guys ever take their shirts off?

No. Hallmark never shows the couples having sex or in bed. It's very family friendly. Some of the Lifetime Christmas movies do show couples having sex and hot guys with their shirts off.

by Anonymousreply 8015 hours ago

The lead couple don't even kiss until the final scene - and then it is usually something pretty chaste by the tree or outside as the snow starts to fall - usually in the middle of a crowd of people singing Christmas carols.

by Anonymousreply 8115 hours ago

Brandon Routh and Gregory Harrison were in one of the better ones (not as a couple). Also a couple of cats.

Once in a while one of these movies will overcome the formula. But not very often. And not starring Candace Xtian Cameron.

by Anonymousreply 8215 hours ago

Andrew Walker has FIVE Holiday movies on Hallmark & Lifetime in the next two weeks with multiple airings of each!

I'm DVR-ing them all!

by Anonymousreply 8314 hours ago

R79 Jennifer lives in very ritzy area of Brentwood. I don't think she's hurting for money. I'm sure she's accumulated enough wealth to be just fine for the rest of her life. She strikes me as a frugal person with her finances. And then there's Ben's money too.

by Anonymousreply 8414 hours ago

If it's Canada and the Holidays, it must be Andrew Walker!

by Anonymousreply 8514 hours ago

Does Andrew ever take his shirt off???

by Anonymousreply 8614 hours ago

He's been shirtless in several Lifetime movies over the last 15 years. I don't think in any Holiday movies, though.

He's never been shirtless on Hallmark as said above.

by Anonymousreply 8714 hours ago

Some of these have really hot guys in them

by Anonymousreply 8814 hours ago
Need more help? Click Here.

Follow theDL catch up on what you missed

recent threads by topic delivered to your email

follow popular threads on twitter

follow us on facebook

Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!