How do assholes always manage to have so many friends?

Assholes stink together.

High school never ends, cochise.

Straight married couple I'm thinking of; she's belligerent and confrontational. He hasn't worked in five years, smokes pot and has been caught breaking into cars.

Both are on welfare and don't cut their own grass or shovel their snow. When they moved in, the house was one of the nicest on the street and now it looks like the city dump.

They call the police on anyone they have an issue with and then paint themselves as victims.

Yet they are the most popular people on the street.

Sociopaths exude a unique charm and interest in you and that seduces people into their web. As long as the dealings remain superficial, it will appear these people have a ton of friends.

This is so true and an interesting thread. The biggest assholes at work were alwsys the most popular and beloved by the shitty bosses. They could do no wrong. Come late leave early they got away with murder.

That's pretty incredible, R3. Where is this?

R6 I live in Toronto.

[quote]Both are on welfare and don't cut their own grass or shovel their snow.

The point about this is that people on the street will cut their grass and shovel their snow for them while they sit in the house doing nothing.

Harvey Weinstein is a good example

I wonder the same thing sometimes.

I'm only 45 but I remember a time when people like this were shunned but now it seems like everyone wants to be friends with them. People wouldn't be friends with lazy people who would rather be on welfare than work but everyone gravitates to them now. If you used drugs no one would talk to you now they invite you to their house and let you smoke weed with their kids in the house. Cuss and swear all the time, no problem with parents who let their kids stand there listening to you say fuck every other word. Be a quiet guy who works and maintains your property and you're a dick or an asshole or "not cool" when you complain about other people acting stupid.

People like Harvey Weinstein don't have friends, they buy the company of others. Look at him now.

I spot assholes by who they associate with. Assholes flock with assholes. If I see you associate with assholes, it’s over.

Which is to say, I have zero friends. Some acquaintances.

^ Aw precious. Too good for this life.

R15=asshole.

And blocked.

Your objective in life is to avoid assholes.

John Waters is so right. I'm so sorry I learnt it so late.

But, but John Wasters IS an asshole. Have you ever met him??

Waters*

HAHA

Assholes always court a certain number of people to be on their team, to be there for backup in those times when all the assholery comes to a head. And of course those courted by the asshole are perfectly fine with his assholery as long as he treats them well.

Exactly what R23 says. Which is why I steer clear away from the assholes and the followers. I'm perfectly content by myself.

^ Why shop for hamburger when you have steak at home?

MAGA, OP.

1. Their friendships are almost always superificial.

2. Assholes usually attract nice people with low-self esteem. The nice person is constantly trying to get approval from the asshole but they will never get it. Thus, the asshole ends up with a group of "friends" who are basically his servants all trying to win his affection.

This is an interesting psychological concept, it basically comes down to "you always want what you can't have". If people know they can get your love, attention, ect. they don't want you. I think this is especially true for women with low self-esteem who always date jerks. As the saying goes, "We accept the love we think we deserve".

3. And lastly, people will believe whatever you believe about yourself. Since assholes are always narcissists, they think they're the greatest person alive and so naturally everyone else believes this too.

Why do people take an asshole's side in things but pick on a person who's quiet and keeps to themselves?

Exactly R28.

R27 is especially right about 2. Once people with low self-esteem (or seeking approval from others) realise others means shitall in their lives and they should all move on and not give a fuck, the assholes lose their power - which is basically no more than the support/force of their servants. These morons get the power we give them.

Interesting point R28. People who do that have encountered bullies their whole lives and are themselves afraid of getting picked on. They pick "the horse likeliest to win", in a primitive situation. These people have very low self-esteem and are not self-sufficient.

R31 it does seem that some people befriend assholes hoping that the asshole will not go after them like they do other people. Stay on their good side, go along to get along, etc.

Exactly R31. Which is a terrible choice to make. But also a choice bullies want nice people to make, so as basically to corrupt them. It's like getting in the mob so as not to suffer a shakedown yourself. Doesn't get rid of the mob. Makes you lose opportunities at real friends.

R28 Most people can naturally spot a nice person in a crowd. Niceness is seen as weakness, and most people don't want to be associated with weakness. They would rather stick with the asshole so they don't become his next prey.

Very few people will stick up for an abused person. Most people are not compassionate. Even though as humans we have made a lot of advancements, at our core we are still all about the survival of the fittest.

It starts out with schoolyard bullies and continues into adulthood. That's just how humans are. That's why I have always said that in school settings, bullies should be separated from the other students. Bullies only have power in numbers, you take their supporters away and they are nothing.

Social media puts a lot of pressure on people to keep up an active social life and have a lot of acquaintances ("friends"). Because of this, they may put aside any standards when it comes to who they welcome into their lives.

Bullies are useless in society.

As for nice people, they are very useful in society and many people want to associate with them because they are nice. The people who don't just have low self-esteem themselves. It takes guts to stand up for someone, but anyone who lets others get picked on is asking for it to happen to themselves, their close ones, etc in due time. Morons. Sheep.

What I find interesting is that assholes always manage to make themselves out to be victims in every situation.

The asshole I'm talking about was caught breaking into a guys car. His defense? He needed groceries because welfare doesn't give him enough money.

Of course everyone felt bad for him, including the guy whose car he broke into.

Followers, OP, not friends. Obedient followers.

Seriously, R37. Your neighbour is a piece of work.

R39 I debated starting this thread for fear of being accused of being an EST but the shit these people have been able to get away with is amazing.

Well the shot answer is they don't. There is no way you can have so many real friends. Real friendships take a lot of time. I'm always amazed how many people have FB friends in the thousands??? I know they're not really all friends but why would you want to expose so much of yourself to so many not-even-an acquaintance- types? Unless you're a realtor.

Beware of sociopaths. They are masters of deception and playing victim. Stay clear of them. Chronic lies may be a clue. If you must engage them, be brief, factual, show little emotion, no praise, no criticism; and treat the connection to be minimal and terminal.

Haha great advice R42. Christ navigating the social life can be exhausting.

Assholes don't have any real friends. They only have other assholes who want to use them. Because that's what assholes do that makes them assholes.

We accept the love we think we deserve. Must be why I’ve been alone my whole life.

Somewhere along the way I must have believed I don’t deserve any.

Well then there sure are a ton of assholes out there, R44.

Must be why I have no one and am just alone too, R45.

R45 & R46 It's never too late to believe you deserve love. Love doesn't have to be romantic, it can come in the form of friendships.

I hope you find what you need and I sincerely hope the best for both of you.

R41 I have thought the same thing.

The mean girl from my high school has thousands upon thousands of FB friends. Obviously she doesn't know all of them.

I can't imagine why anyone would want a bunch of strangers peering into their personal life. Desperation I guess.

One of my favorite sayings is: "Being famous on the internet is like being rich in monopoly."

[quote]How do assholes always manage to have so many friends?

Because they use them.

R38 came up with the best answer. In many cases they are followers, not friends. And these followers are probably those with low self esteem and afraid not to be friendly with the asshole in question. So what if they have more FB friends. Just be the best person you can be and in the end you'll be much happier.

"Being famous on the internet is like being rich in monopoly."

Narcissists are empty and bored with themselves - they desperately need people in their lives because they're like babies unable to get through life without sucking the life force out of other people (emotional vampires who need "narcissistic supply") Without people, they become deeply depressed or even psychotic.

They spend every ounce of their energy and intellectual reserves trying to reel people in - they're good at flattery and bribery, mimicking people, pretending to like what the target likes, remaking themselves to fit exactly what they think the other person will respond to, finding a way to engage a nice person's sympathy (since they have no authentic selves anyway).

It's complicated, but they're not shy and have no shame -- thus equipped, they can usually reel people in. But they never really care about their targets anyway and it always ends badly -- they're just predators or whiny little spoiled brats (see Donald Trump). A lot of them are good looking (the ugly ones have to find power to reel in victims, a la Weinstein I guess.) I don't know what the ugly and powerless ones do - become killers I guess, like the Vegas guy or the Unibomber.

Buddha (supposedly): "If you cannot find a good companion to walk with, walk alone, like an elephant roaming the jungle. It is better to be alone that to be with those who will hinder your progress."

Assholes amass power because they demand it. Along the way they cause injury. Those who are bystanders and those who passively enable the abuses both (consciously) fear and (often unconsciously) respect the abusive qualities. I’ve made a study of this for a decade now at work, with the objective input of a therapist who my job drove me to almost eight years ago. It’s not really that complicated if you can be honest about everyone’s role in enabling abuse. You won’t find many non-assholes in positions of power. They just simply take what they want. It seems counterintuitive because we are trained with certain idealistic (and not realistic) values, but for most of us, when someone comes along and asks for or demands that we give them something of our own, we give it to them. Often we feel like it was taken, but usually it’s volunteered. I don’t like the assholes who operate this way, but upon a lifetime of reflection, I have to acknowledge that assholes who take from others tend to be a little more realistic than the average person about how social interactions *actually* work versus how most of us pretend they work.

A TL:DR version of my long post above at R53: If artificial intelligence ever takes over, we will regard all AI as assholes because they are practical operators and we are comparatively idealistic.

That is very interesting R54. Indeed I believe AI will kill us all or transform us into slaves.

A bit OT - but not so much - what happens when AI and assholes take over:

I've recently discovered the transport system where I live is not a service, it's a way to monitor citizens. I discovered this through a mugging. We have 2 different travel cards: one with your name in a database, another one where it's just a number. The transport system would like us to use the one where they can have all our identities in a database. Because it's illegal to leave users with no choice about this, they were forced to issue the other pass - the one where it's just a number (you still have to write your name on the pass and add a photo, but your name is not in any database). They still do everything they can to discourage you from getting the pass without your name in the database: you have to pay extra for that pass, and if you lose the pass or it gets stolen you have no protection (have to buy a new one, whereas the other one gets replaced for free).

Anyway. I was mugged IN THE SUBWAY and got stolen everything I had on me, including my travel card. So basically I was stolen while using their transport system. This was on 24 September and on my card I had the full months of both September AND October, which I had already paid for. Financially this amounts to 10% of what I make each month, so it's a lot of money and I'm not about to piss it away. So anyway for the final week of September I just bought a new card. For October however, and since the month hadn't even started, I gave them my stolen number and asked for October to be transferred to my new pass - or, if this could not be done, for them to refund the whole month. All they needed to do was cancel October on a card and transfer it onto another. This was outright refused by every single attendant I asked. Every single one. And not one - not one - expressed regret that I had suffered a mugging while using their transport system.

I must say this baffled me because up until then I had believed they were offering a service. They're not. The drivers do, but it's only a small part of the transport's system activity. What they really do is monitor people, and they could care less what happens to you while travelling on their trains. It's a prison, that's what it feels like and that's why people have that frown on their faces every single day while using their transport system.

Just a comparison: one of the things that was stolen was my library card - it's a paying card where I can get CDs, DVDs as well as books. I went to the library to report it stolen and get it renewed. In the library rules it says it takes 8 days to get it renewed. I went to the desk and just said I was stolen in the subway. The man from the library said he was sorry for what happened (!!) and right away offered to get me a new library card immediately. That was it. And they could have made the process longer if they wanted. It's in the rules. But sometimes you can just be people.

Sorry for TL;DR

Anyone who has more than 5 people they think are "real friends" are deluding themselves and they don't know a real friend is. What they have is a larger group of people they're friendly with, and being friendly with someone does not automatically make that person a friend. Most of the larger set of people you're friendly with are fair-weather friends. People who will stand with and by you as long as it's convenient and/or there's something in it for them. They won't tell you that, but that's exactly what their mindset is. As soon as the association with you begins to get even slightly inconvenient you suddenly stop hearing from them and you come to DL asking for comments on why your dear friend has suddenly started avoiding you.

R55 Well, the way I see it is that we program artificial intelligence to come up with solutions, to solve equations, etc. We as a species crave immediate problem solving and advancement based on problem solving. So we have made computers “in our image,” or which mimics the only part of our minds we understand and therefore appreciate—the logical mind.

There are illogical, seemingly irrational aspects of humanity that we today mostly regard as base, animal instinct, and we condemn it and our contemporary interpretation is that this so-called reptilian brain is vestigial and something to be overcome. It’s a sort of blind spot, as we see it, and computers are able to isolate the logical aspect of thinking without the distracting animal instinct and intuition.

So that’s where we are. My opinion is that it’s limited, but I have been intrigued by and have read Gnostic texts for the past 20 years, and the paradoxical Gnosic philosophies that intrigued me for years were made more real for me by several experiences with ayahuasca a few years ago.

My current interpretation is that life needs to be (and always will be by virtue of its own powerful will) a balance of logical computing/calculating (the assholes) and instinct/intuition (the psychics, in a sense of the world). AI as we are building it is logical and soulless. It’s brand-new, by-the-rule-of-law-without-exception calculation. That’s not life. Life is messy because life is made for the long term, not necessarily for immediate solutions.

So in a Gnostic perspective, this equates to the three classes of people ancient mystics believed in: the psychically inclined who have access to a different kind of wisdom than the rational, which is deeply encoded in our reality and not available to everyone; the Gnostics, who have a spark of divinity that acts as a sort of key to get into the room that holds real wisdom, but they can only decode or even view it through pursuit of knowledge; and the ignorant, who believe strictly in material reality without any mystical quality.

Today, we’ve collectively decided that the last of these—only what can be calculated—exists. In our society, anyway, anyone who believes or even considers that non-material reality may exist, is chastised and ostracised from society at large. Or the same phenomenon from a diffferent angle: those who believe that the reptilian brain has enough value to reproduce...well, that’s not really an allowable thought in the context of science. So the ancient Gnostic notion of a god figure who has no idea that he was created by something greater and who in turn creates his own beings who have no souls is essentially coming to fruition, as human beings are creating our own superior *logical* thinkers that are devoid of any ability of super-rational/sub-rational thought. This AI is designed for immediate-term calculation and not for a multi-lifetime co-evolution; it lacks animal instinct/soul knowledge.

And that’s just to say that AI is out of balance in terms of life, and therefore artificial and not alive. Because it is exclusively rational and can never have the ability to understand intuitive wisdom, which contains compassion, AI is bound to be the Asshole to Beat All Assholes.

Pay attention to so-called assholes. Some, like Trump, may seem totally irrational and unreasonable, but in terms of getting what he wants, he has been more successful than most because he has this “artificial intelligence” that allows him to innately understand what we understand to be out of balance in a society: if you want it, take it. If you hurt someone to get it but you got it, then the end always justifies the means. It’s a calculation that AI will always make. The solution to an equation is the solution, and there’s no such thing as causing harm along the way if you are programmed only to understand that your task is to solve the equation. (In Trump’s/the asshole’s case, that means acquiring what you want by any means—asking, taking, raping, killing.)

Yup, I realize I must come off as a religious zealot. So be it.

Very true, R58, very true. I found that to be very true in the local Gay community. Maybe it is just human nature after all. Let me just say when problems began in our lives and the money troubles began, too, all those so-called friends vanished, all except one.

Great line, R48. WW for you!!

Couldn't read your whole post R59 but I sense that you are right. To me the answer to that mystery is in music, and art in general.

It's very difficult to read your post R59 but losing our instinct is the worst thing that could happen. Over the past years I've learnt to listen to my instinct more and more, and listen to him only, and it has changed my life completely.

R48 love it! It's all a desperate grab for attention and validation. Sad.

My favourite paragraph from R59's post:

My current interpretation is that life needs to be (and always will be by virtue of its own powerful will) a balance of logical computing/calculating (the assholes) and instinct/intuition (the psychics, in a sense of the world). AI as we are building it is logical and soulless. It’s brand-new, by-the-rule-of-law-without-exc - eption calculation. That’s not life. Life is messy because life is made for the long term, not necessarily for immediate solutions.

Also this:

So in a Gnostic perspective, this equates to the three classes of people ancient mystics believed in: the psychically inclined who have access to a different kind of wisdom than the rational, which is deeply encoded in our reality and not available to everyone; the Gnostics, who have a spark of divinity that acts as a sort of key to get into the room that holds real wisdom, but they can only decode or even view it through pursuit of knowledge; and the ignorant, who believe strictly in material reality without any mystical quality.

Today, we’ve collectively decided that the last of these—only what can be calculated—exists. In our society, anyway, anyone who believes or even considers that non-material reality may exist, is chastised and ostracised from society at large. Or the same phenomenon from a diffferent angle: those who believe that the reptilian brain has enough value to reproduce...well, that’s not really an allowable thought in the context of science. So the ancient Gnostic notion of a god figure who has no idea that he was created by something greater and who in turn creates his own beings who have no souls is essentially coming to fruition, as human beings are creating our own superior *logical* thinkers that are devoid of any ability of super-rational/sub-rational thought. This AI is designed for immediate-term calculation and not for a multi-lifetime co-evolution; it lacks animal instinct/soul knowledge.

And that’s just to say that AI is out of balance in terms of life, and therefore artificial and not alive. Because it is exclusively rational and can never have the ability to understand intuitive wisdom, which contains compassion, AI is bound to be the Asshole to Beat All Assholes.

I re-posted R59 because it was difficult for me to read.

Kasparov said something about Deep Blue, the AI that beat him at chess, that I found very interesting: "Deep Blue was not intelligent. It was a brute force. Chess was too small for him." This from a BBC itw not long ago, I believe the quote is mostly accurate.

This is very interesting and shows us where we're headed if we don't reconnect with nature on a very deep level.

[quote]How do assholes always manage to have so many friends?

Check out the quality of the friends. There's your answer.

My bother's very 'popular'. I went to one of his parties. There wasn't a soul there I'd like to meet again.

I’m R59. Sorry if my post was convoluted or too rambly to parse.

I am a writer who also paints, and I do agree—the experiences of making art and of contemplating art are the means by which we acknowledge the illogical/other-than-logical aspects of who we are. If the replicated purely logical aspect of who we are has been recreated and “perfected” in computing technology (it has), then utterly impractical, “useless” fine arts are the counterbalance. If computers are artificial intelligence, then perhaps we should call art authentic intelligence.

Whatever technology or practice people use to get to it—psychedelics, meditation, prayer, dreaming, creating art or listening to music, dancing and reading fiction—there’s a non-computational aspect to who we are that we cannot articulate fully, but we can feel it and it is vital. It’s a kind of self-imposed slavery in my opinion that has driven us away from these “impractical” experiences.

Eons ago, we were souls; then we were citizens; now we are workers and taxpayers.

R69 continuing...

A few days ago a coworker who is very materially driven—expensive clothes, cars, etc., handles our finances—complained that she saw a homeless man with a dog. She thinks that’s abusive and the dog should be taken away.

Only human beings build and value human homes. Every other living creature finds or builds its home. Only human beings value acquisition of material objects over relationships. Dogs are fulfilled when they have companionship—as do human children, by the way. Poverty in the sense of not having food, clothing, shelter or relationships is real. Poverty in the sense of not owning property is not real. It’s an artificial concept—the asshole human being manifested as a false human belief.

I would love to know how people feel about homeless people living with dogs. What do you think the dog would value more, an air-conditioned house with a two-car garage at the expense of her companion rejecting her, or living on the street with her companion (provided she has sufficient (hehe) food, water and exercise)?

My opinion is that my coworker is an asshole by nature but isn’t totally lost. She asked me shortly after we first met if I believe in marrying for love or for money. I had honestly never in my life contemplated that regular people ever marry for money. (I was naive, yes.) If all people and animals died and I ended up in luxury accommodations—like Dave in 2001: A Space Odyssey—I would be alive in hell. If I lost all my shit but had my family and pets, I mean, I’d feel like a loser but they would comfort me and remind me that doesn’t matter. And they’d be right.

Beautifully put, [R70].

We are slaves and consumers, R69. And the irony is that our consuming drives our slavery.

[quote]Most people can naturally spot a nice person in a crowd. Niceness is seen as weakness, and most people don't want to be associated with weakness. They would rather stick with the asshole so they don't become his next prey

Niceness is seen as weakness in the primitive and stupid; others (the intelligent) value it greatly.

What R73 said.

R73 Yeah, the whole point of my rambling about Gnosticism and AI was really to try to illustrate that. I really do think the Gnostics are onto something in sorting people into those who see, those who seek sight, and those who are blind. We’ve perverted the notion of wisdom to mean quantitative and qualitative intelligence, throwing away the balance as unnecessary in this world. That’s moved us into the direction of AI/computational knowledge without sight. I believe you’re correct about intelligent people valuing sympathy, but there’s a huuuuge push among intellectuals to dismiss all but what can be computed as valuable. So a person doesn’t only have to be intelligent nowadays to value “valueless” qualities, but also to have the strength of personal integrity to reject pressures to look down upon authentic (as opposed to artificial) intelligence.

In 2002, HAL may as well have killed Dave in the end because in the end HAL was only artificial intelligence (soulless computation) and Dave was rendered nothing but a soul. Interestingly, in the sequel Dave and HAL were joined into one being—balanced back out. It’ll always be a matter of falling out of balance and rebalancing. Those out of balance are blind either to logic or to wisdom.

Because now R75 we confuse engineers with intellectuals. They are not intellectuals, even if when highly trained they can imitate their discourse. Truth is they lack wisdom. We cannot leave our destinies up to the engineers. *

Technique, no matter how sophisticated, will never be anything more than the realisation of an idea, and ideas are not born in AI.

To be or not to be, R75. That is the choice of our life, not to be taken lightly. And we have to live through it everyday.

Call me idiotic or simplistic or too specific, fact is this choice is very well shown in Charlie's dilemma in the film Shadow of a Doubt. And I'll add that Teresa Wright is one of my favourite actresses. She embodies the qualities that make us human, and she had the strength to reject a machine that could have crushed her. Love every single performance I've seen of her (4 total). Look at her, people like her, associate with people like that and you will enjoy what human life can be if we don't let it be crushed by AI and the Assholes.

Thanks for the WW everyone. I'm R48 and I got that qoute from an old teacher of mine.

There's something very child-like about adults who constantly need attention and validation. I read somewhat before that children naturally want attention from their parents and other adults but they grow out of it. My theory is that narcissists never grow out of their "me, me, me" phase that we expect in toddlers.

And in response to R73, i'm also R34 and I agree with you. Nice people should be cherished but most of the world doesn't share this view. I consider myself a nice person although I try my best to hide it now. I can't tell you how many times i've been made fun of just for being nice and friendly.

[quote]Because now [R75] we confuse engineers with intellectuals. They are not intellectuals, even if when highly trained they can imitate their discourse. Truth is they lack wisdom. We cannot leave our destinies up to the engineers. *

Yes. This is the problem it is the aspie engineers and the ultra-corrupt designing the future

Here's a theory, OP: maybe they're drug dealers and all those 'friends' are into them for whatever they're selling.

I agree with everyone posting here about nice people being seen as weak. Those who think so couldn't be more wrong. There is great strength in being connected with your emotions. This isn't some New Age shit, either. You must process emotions for them to be released and ultimately beneficial. How you do this is difficult in our society where we teach men and boys, and now women, to keep quiet, don't cry, don't react.

BULLSHIT.

Examining your shadow self, the darker side of your emotions, is important and essential for health. You must go through the grief, sadness, envy, and yes, RAGE, to get to the other side, where true joy exists. All this feel good all the time shit is actually damaging. We're meant to feel those things in order to develop empathy and compassion for each other. Taking a pill because you feel badly won't do you any good in the long run and has arguably brought us to this very catastrophic disconnection from ourselves, others, and this very planet we live on. Despair is the end result of avoiding the dark side of being human.

[quote]Here's a theory, OP: maybe they're drug dealers and all those 'friends' are into them for whatever they're selling.

My brother said the same thing R80 and it could possibly be true. Pot will be legal here in Canada soon and everybody and their mother is getting on the band wagon.

R78 I do get the impression this guy never grew up. He's 40 but acts like a teenager.

The poster saying OP's neighbours might be drug dealers is on to something. It's the only explanation that makes sense as to why they would be so popular. That said, the people on your street have terrible taste.

Canada is becoming a real drug dump, and it is going to become worse when there is full legalization.

We need full legalization of psychedelics. The world would be a far better place. Hard drugs like heroin and its pharmaceutial analogs, meth, cocaine and crack...no.

I really wish marijuana would be legalized nationally if for no other reason than being sick of Andy Cohen, Bill Maher and other aging assholes constantly bragging about smoking weed like it makes them members of the cool kids’ club. Who gives a shit? If you like it, smoke it. If you don’t, don’t. Smoking weed does not make a 50 or 60 year-old man edgy. Bragging about it makes a 50 or 60 year-old man sad.

One of the leaders of a major party in Canada said he thinks heroin and cocaine should be legalized.

Yes, 50 year olds bragging about smoking weed are pathetic.

Psychedelics are more interesting but I think only a tiny amount of people could appreciate or handle them. They aren't for the masses.

Legalizing drugs will really destroy public places like streets and parks because they will be full of drug addicts openly consuming them. The morons at work would suddenly think they are cool and would all talk about their drug taking. Apartment buildings would be full of the smells and sights of drugs. It would be a real drop in the general quality of life.

R86 I have a profound appreciation for psychedelics after experiencing ayahuasca and reading so much emerging scientific literature about them—but you may be right that not everyone can handle them. Ayahuasca made mystical texts I had read about for 15 years understandable in a real way for me; many of those are kabbalistic, and some people say that no one should have access to kabbalah writings until age 40 or else they may become mad from reading them. That seems a little superstitious, but at the same time I do think that a person ideally would have amassed a lot of life experience, including a fair amount of devastation and inexplicable stuff, before taking a potent dose. Otherwise, yeah, I could imagine the shattering of this reality being truly devastating to a naive psychological build. It is potentially more dangerous than alcohol, since alcohol is physiologically damaging for young people but not psychiatrically in the sense that it dulls perception instead of expanding it.

Still, traditionally adolescents in many cultures are guided through various forms of vision quests that equate to psychedelic experiences, whether through starvation, shamanistic dancing and drumming, chanting and meditating or using some kind of ingested natural technology. If the culture itself has a shared understanding of the experiences, then they can support and help to explain to the inductee what she has experienced and what it may mean.

I don’t think it will ever happen because our development has become entirely materially based, but if seven billion people broadened their awareness in such a way, I can’t even imagine the positive transformation that might take place. A whole globe of people who can think more like Steve Jobs and Tesla would take us into another dimension.

They do not want that many independent thinkers, R87.

They wanted drugged zombies or a robot-human mixture.

R88 I know it. As soon as Timothy Leary said “drop out and tune in,” those in charge realized they needed to drug the proletariat and tune them out.

Poor people, crazies and criminals always have a lot of friends. It's because they're not very discriminating.

[quote] some people say that no one should have access to kabbalah writings until age 40 or else they may become mad from reading them. That seems a little superstitious,

A little superstitious?

No.

Totally superstitious.

There is no such thing as magic

"Mysticism" is just a bigger word for magical thinking.

R91 I used to think the same.

"It is the privilege of those who fear love to murder those who do not fear it! " -- May Sarton

[quote]That said, the people on your street have terrible taste.

They do R83.

[quote]Canada is becoming a real drug dump, and it is going to become worse when there is full legalization.

It has R84 and you're correct that legalization will make things worse.

I've lost count the number of times I've been out and someone nearby reeks of weed, yesterday it was a mother with a young daughter in the grocery store. That wouldn't have been the case just five years ago but now everyone is perfectly fine with it.

My cousin says a lot of people are buying houses to rent because they know dealers are looking for places to build grow-ops and the landlords will be charging much higher rents knowing full well what's happening in their property.

R94, Someone told me she and her husband were looking for a house to buy (in the Vancouver area) and the realtor was showing them the place and when they walked downstairs there was a grow-op.

[quote]My cousin says a lot of people are buying houses to rent because they know dealers are looking for places to build grow-ops and the landlords will be charging much higher rents knowing full well what's happening in their property.

Great and the prices will go up for everyone else because of these scumbags.

R90 good point. Poor people who are either dumb or uneducated live a different way than smart/organized people. They get up, text all their friends/acquaintances, meet up, smoke/coffee/cigs, beer, drugs - wild parties, pub crawls, street brawls, street everything -- they don't get up, read the news, plan their productive day blah blah -- they live very social, chaotic, undiscriminating lives with whoever else is around who's like them - it don't give a shit - anybody's good to drink or ramble around with. Whatcha gonna talk about anyway? Just stupid stuff like the rival gang shitheads or the girls up the street who think their shit don't stink... well, you get the idea. Hauling them babies to mamma or Aunt Jewel to babysit - meet up with new true love, get a tattoo of his/her name, be broke and need a hit so do a trick.... Jersey Shore or whatever.

Smart people have fewer friends, if any. They're not bored, they have things to do, to think about, and would be miserable living in the moment, in the street, in a chaotic hazy mess. They'd rather be occasionally arranging a coffee or a dinner date, if that, and mostly, working or yoga or cooking their vegan meals for one or two, ..... It's not really that hard to understand.

R95 my cousin, the one I mentioned above lives in an area where the average price for homes is well over $3 million. In the last three years four houses were raided as grow-ops. They rent the house, gut it and put plants in every bit of free space. They pay cash and the usually Asian property owners don't care what the renters do.

[quote]Great and the prices will go up for everyone else because of these scumbags.

Something I hadn't considered, but you are right. My niece lives in a smaller city an hour away from me. She and her husband have been looking at houses but the average asking price is $520K when just three years ago it was $240K. Needless to say they're staying in their apartment.

[quote]Smart people have fewer friends, if any. They're not bored, they have things to do, to think about, and would be miserable living in the moment, in the street, in a chaotic hazy mess.

Holy shit! reading that was like a slap in the face. I get up go to work and do the things that employed people do. They get up, sit on the front porch smoke and look for people to talk to. Not having anything to do all day but socialize would drive me crazy.

[quote] My cousin says a lot of people are buying houses to rent because they know dealers are looking for places to build grow-ops and the landlords will be charging much higher rents knowing full well what's happening in their property

Grow houses are easily busted thanks to their electric bills.

In the US, the owner of a house can lose it if someone is growing weed inside. Doesn't matter if it's the renters who were growing it. Under civil forfeiture, law enforcement can take everything. If your kid gets busted selling one joint in your house, you can lose your house.

Life is forgiving, a Narcissist Culture is not.

"A gentleman always finds himself in dire straits. The small man, finding himself there, will throw over all restraint." -- Confucius

Major fight in the street where I live right now. It's a residential area and I live on the ground floor - can't open the window without getting majorly noticed. It's 30 past midnight right now, my g's sleeping and we've got the blinds on all our windows. The racket though... At least 3 people involved, just wondering if it's the new neighbour or not.

Where do you live? France?

Why do you ask R104?

Just the time zone thing.

You are correct. I also got mugged in France (poster upthread), etc. Banlieue. It's all we can afford atm, planning to move out.

Good luck. Hope you can move to a nicer place.

Thank you, R108.

When it comes to asshole neighbors who become popular the best advice is don't let them stay long enough to become popular. I made the mistake of not getting my shitty neighbors evicted and five years later they're the most popular assholes on the street even though the cops are constantly at their house, the husband was arrested for insurance fraud, the wife was chased down by a woman who said the neighbor was fucking this woman's husband, their dog bit a kid and they caused a fire with their backyard fire pit when the embers landed on a neighbors tree.

How on earth do these people manage this R110 is a mystery to me...

I'm glad I'm not young anymore.

I don't know R111. I think society has become so dumbed down that people accept any asshole as a friend whereas just 10 years ago people were a bit more selective about who they hung out with.

There's a Portuguese saying that says every bee finds it's hive. I think the kind of people who hang with assholes are most likely assholes.

Haha didn't know about that Portuguese saying, and I grew up in Lisbon :D

So this whole thread is the Canadian poster who lives in the bad neighborhood (Toronto?) venting about his white trash neighbors, right?

It's a hallmark of a sociopath that they can manipulate people. If they need help moving to a new place, 5 people can be summoned-up quickly.

I work with one who constantly says, "A buddy of mine...". They babysit his dogs, come retrieve him when he's stranded, provide low-cost or no cost auto repair and remodelling... and probably get on their knees if needed.

Holy shit R116 you just described my neighbors.

I've noticed assholes with money and a 'social' position have quite a few friends. It's like, "you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours." Live in a 'resort' city like LA or NY in an upscale neighborhood and make well over six figures a year, and I guarantee they will be beating down your door even if you were the next Charles Manson.

People are always attracted to aholes and dbags. Their obnoxiousness is perceived as confidence. They use and abuse people and a lot of people find that risky and noncommital. “I bet I can be the exception. I am smarter than those people who are used and discarded.” Or “eh, at least I know he’s an asshole going in.” They may also feel more comfortable using a user. And a lot of people are masochistic and drawn to people with a dark side. There are plenty of viable explanations but most of them require us to confront aspects of reality that don’t quite fit into our social paradigm of being “good people.”

Yeah, they have a lot of people they can use, but no real friends. They don't understand friendship.

Sadly, I think genuine friendship is pretty rare.

"I think genuine friendship is pretty rare"

It's not rare. Unless you are surrounding yourself with too many assholes.

Cut the dead weight - because thats what they are.

My neighbors are assholes and also have lots of friends. They don't work even though they're only in their 30s and they spend their day wandering neighborhoods with their two dogs trying to meet new people.

Eventually these new friends get tired of being used and disappear and they go out looking for more friends. It's amazing how many people are willing to be used under the guise of friendship.

Last night some guy was banging on their front door demanding the money he lent them for their rent. The wife called the cops on him saying he was trying to break into their house.

Assholes are a gay's BEST friend!

Did a search and found this thread.

An asshole moved onto my street a coupe years back. He's been dealing pot since day one and the police are at the house at least once a month.

More than once someone has shown up late at night banging on their door looking for either the husband, the wife or both.

On Saturday he was picked up by the police for vandalizing a car in a Walmart parking lot and was taken away. He was back on Monday with an order to appear before a judge.

Yet a few families on this street--married couples with kids--are still friends with them, visiting him, letting their kids play with their dog, and driving them everywhere they need to go.

Years ago guys that would be shunned but today people are falling over themselves to be his friend.

I just don't get it.

r124 They're all hooked on his product!

I thought about that R125 but it felt like an easy answer. I can count on one hand the number of times I've interacted with the guy and he was mirroring me each time which to me is one sign of a sociopath. He just has a way of charming people, or picking people who are easy to manipulate.

I have over 300 friends on Facebook. My current girlfriend moved in with me a couple weeks after we met. My kids look at me like I'm God. Whenever I post an angry meme on Facebook I get tons of likes and concerned comments from all the people that matter, who stand by me and support me.

That's all proof I'm not an asshole, but you're just too self-absorbed and narcissistic to show me any respect. Stop and think before you pass your judgements.

Same here, [R14].

I was talking with someone about this and she said guys like I describe attract other guys who think that he gives them permission to act like assholes themselves. She had a word for it but I don't remember it.

The asshole I know with lots of friends counts among his friends a fucking cop, which explains why he gets away with everything he does. More than once that cop has hassled neighbors to protect his friend.