Cast the Harvey Weinstein Movie

Who?

Who will play Matt and Ben?

Vinny will have to diet to play the Fat Fuck Jerkmeister

R2, Zac Enron and Dave Franco?

Efron—

Who will play Matt Damon's ass?

Elizabeth Gillies wears brown eye contacts to play Rose McGowan

I shall play myself, of course--heroically and bravely leading the charge against him!!!

Cole Sprouse as intrepid reporter Ronan Farrow.

Chloe Bridges as Angelina Jolie

Georgina Chapman will be played by Rose McGowan

Jeffrey Katzenberg will be played by G, of course. (SHE needs the work)

That dyke Kristen Stewart should play M.

I'm making my magnificent return to the screen as the ghost of Bruce Paltrow, who'll be giving sage advice to Gwynnie as she times the release of her statement.

R14 yes, and Goop cameo as herself.

Oprah wants to get in on this as herself, too.

James Franco as a young David Arquette, whose one line is, "Really? Bummer."

The role of Gwyneth Paltrow will be played by a limp, wet mop.

Christopher Walken as Jon Voight, who goes on Fox & Friends to assure the nation that had he known, he would have taken pleasure in kicking Harvey's fat, liberal ass.

Eddie Izzard as Judi Dench

Sela Ward as Gloria Allred, screaming down the phone to her idiot daughter.

Who will play Bob?

Kevin Pollak

You bitches have me rolling tonight 😂

Sarah Paulson as idiot lawyer Lisa Bloom.

Whoopi Goldberg as Donna Karan

I love you, R25.

Ivana Trump as Patsy Stone

Rosie O'Donnell as Bob Weinstein

Colton Haynes as Matt Damon

Lia DeLaria as Hillary

Colto looks nothing like Damo, R28. Matt should be so lucky as to have someone that good looking portray him.

Leighton Meester as Ashley Judd

Who will play Matt Damon's ass?

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Will M play G , or G play M?

Ben Affleck, r32

[quote] Tammy Cruise’s ass.

A male ass should portray Damon's ass?

It's only fair that I play M. Trust me, it won't be much of a stretch.

James Spader is another possibility for Harvey. My 80's self is crying at the loss of his beauty.

These are good! Judy Dench and Walden. LOL!

OP is killing it! KILLING! Just woke everyone up by laughing so hard. Were you the OP of that Atlanta reverend thread? I almost died! The nicely dressed young man? That thread. Gold!

R8, thank you for that. Are you OP?

R23, the whole neighborhood hears me rolling! Datalounge is back, bitches!

Genius replies. All of you. Love you so much!!

(R39 here). I mean Eddie Izzard as Dench and Walken as Voight. LOL! (spell check)

Gonna stroke out in sleep tonight. Bell's Palsey here I come come morning.

10/11/17~never forget

I shall check on rehab stroke centers by 5 pm by tomorrow. Hope they don't send some coloreds over here.

Just dying!

Mel?

Even though he's heavy, I think D'Onofrio is still too handsome to be Weinstein. What about Harvey Fierstein????

Keep 'em coming. Major comedic talent here lately. If you only knew the joy and fits of laughter you are sending around the globe. The world needs you. I need you!

Let's go. Cast this bitch of a Lifetime movie of the future!

Can anyone find that Atlanta reverend nicely dressed young man thread? Cause I know you are all the same bitches. Someone please link to it because I can't find it..but beware..it's a gut buster. Don't visit if you have recent surgery staples or stitches because you will blow them out.

Please, someone find it and link. It's not showing in my history.

WARNING: GRAPHIC GUT BUSTING MATERIAL

R46 as a D'Onofrio fan (and probably one of the few gays who find him fuckable) I take umbrage at the suggestion of him playing the loathsome Whalestein (yes, I know it's just acting but still).

R48, how much meth have you done in the past 3 days?

Or are you perhaps a frau?

You’re really...a bit much, dear.

Eddie Redmayne as Nicole Kidman

[quote] I take umbrage at the suggestion of him playing the loathsome Whalestein (yes, I know it's just acting but still).

But you must admit he would do an amazing job and has the gift to portray him as he deserves to be portrayed.

Steve Buscemi as Angelina Jolie

Jeff Garlin (Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Goldbergs) as Harvey

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Ashley Judd after taking a hot steam with Harvey to be played by Wynona

I'm some dumb cunt working over at GOOP enterprises. I have absolutely no PR background whatsoever but I counsel Miss Gwyneth.

I dropped out of NYC after only one semester, one semester. Just like her! I planned to major in Fine Arts but just like my boss, I half ass and side track any tangible accomplishments. Never carry through. No true passions.

I was on a Ritalin, Adderral, Vyvanse bender minus food for 3 days. I felt invincible! I convinced her to feel invincible.

I completely backed on the idea of now stabbing Harvey in the back even though i instinctively knew it would reveal she's not a loyal ally to anyone and a liar. When she came out with that statement, my Mom, doyenne of Westport ripped into me for working with such a fraud.

My parents just bought me a new car and are attempting to lure me home before I wreck myself.

^ role played by a Hadid model extraordinairre. Either one. Even the brother.

Claire Danes played the age appropriate Gwyneth in this project. Ex co-star Mandy has one scene in which he portrays Bruce Paltrow. Shiloh Pitt (by the time this film even makes it into the works) plays a young Brad Pitt as the social climbing, slutty user whore from the Midwest with full backing from mom Angie.

Like Brad Pitt would DARE squawk off to a big, powerful HW exec at the time. He's got his own skeletons.

Why does he always hook up with uneducated, delusional liars? Not addressed in this film.

I think they're going to have to do like a CGI/Andy Serkis thing to really do justice to HW's grotesque looks. .

Vincent would be perfect.

Funniest. Thread. Ever.

Exactly R61. That's why opening this thread or just scrolling by it will have you in stitches with that header pic.

This thread is so up there with rip roaring laughter. I have to look away from the first post or I lose it.

R53, stop. No. Don't.

I disagree about Vincent. He just looks fat in that picture, but like a lumberjack.

Harvey has like....things happening on his face. Like things growing and blackheads and popped boils and shit. Like a toad and a warthog fucked.

Rebel Wilson is the perfect Harvey

Agree, r66.

R66, eyelash glue for lid altering and some light makeup techniques, he's a shoo in.

I think we've found the perfect vehicle to showcase the youngest Giudice girl. Starring as Harvey.

Shave her down a bit first.

This film will be the debut of Shiloh Namibia Pitt!

Shiloh's career will only feature her father as younger. She got both parents' acting genes. What are the odds?

I really wish Brad would shut down Paltrow once and for all by denying this story but he was really Bruce's bitch. Come on. Bruce HPV Throat Paltrow

Remember Brad's marriage ending the day after the ROL leak?

ROL?

Radar Online story of pot smoking actor/producer and a pedobear.

Miss him!

But who will play Pedobear?

Who will be Bitch #4??

Nathan Lane plays himself getting smacked by Harvey at Hillary's birthday party.

Amy Adams can play Jessica Chastain crying nonstop while she reads Twitter. She'll finally get that Oscar win!

Lena Dunham will be played by a fat 13yo boy.

Emma Roberts will play her aunt, who is not in any way involved but makes the whole thing about herself.

Asia Argento will be played by Marion Cotillard. Marion Cotillard will be played by Asia Argento.

SCTV alum Rick Moranis plays Woody Allen running after Ronan, holding a cotton swab and a "do-it-yourself" DNA kit.

Idris Elba as Gretchen Mol

Emma Stone as Lindsay Lohan

R84 That's as close as Lindsay will ever be to an Oscar.

wtf is emma stone?

R66, after some makeup and prosthetics, they’ll look like twins.

Lady Elaine Fairchild makes a run for Best Supporting Actress (oh, the irony!) with a stunning portrayal of the callous, social-climbing Quentin Tarantino.

I'll play Georgina Chapman.

I have the Brit accent down, and I can play older!

In a brief scene dyke predator Megan Ellison played by Kristen Stewart briefly spies on Whalestein and Chastain and later sends a threatening note to Whalestein to stay away from the dykes.

WHERE ARE THE TRANS-WOMEN OF COLOR!?!!!

Anderson Cooper *IS* Rose McGowan circa 1997

Brad Pitt as Harvey. Screenplay by the guy who wrote "Angels in America." John Williams for the music and cinematograph by the guy who did "Out of Africa." Harvey will come out as more sinned against that sinning. Not a dry eye.

[quote] Harvey has like....things happening on his face. Like things growing and blackheads and popped boils and shit. Like a toad and a warthog fucked.

Then he can only be played by Steve Bannon.

Who should be casted?

Jennifer Lawrence will be played by a porn actress, since the role will require a close look at the gaping holes and getting bukkaked.

Russell Crowe as Heavy Whalestein.

Jon Lovitz as Bob Weinstein.

Michael Pit as Brad Pitt.

Megan Fox as Angelina Jolie.

Claire Danes as Goop.

Ronan Farrow as himself.

Margot Robbie as Georgina Chapman.

Lilo as Jennifer Lawrence.

R94, I can't believe he didn't come to mind. Good call

Kate Beckinsale as Georgina Chapman

Hello.... you’re all off. Chrissy Metz to play Harvey Whalestein.

Kate Hudson as Gretchen Mol

[quote]Jeff Garlin (Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Goldbergs) as Harvey

THAT's the actor I was looking for! I kept seeing the face, but couldn't come up with a name or anything I remember seeing him in; he IS Heavy Whalestein:

Um, hello? My entire career has only been a lead-up to play Matt Damon in a movie...

R103, does he have a burr equal to the Damon butt?

R103, does he have a butt equal to the Damon butt?

It appears he's working on it, r105:

Yep agree with the person who said Kate Beckinsale should play Georgina Chapman... same snobby English princess fake face vibe

Mira Sorvino just spoke out on Weinstein. Who should play her?

R108 Scarjo.

Who will play Steve B.? I can't think of anyone fat or ugly enough.

R110 I'll be happy to play Steve B. especially since that asshole Lorne Michaels didn't let me play him on SNL.

Ashley Jones as Mira.

Bruce McGill as Steve Bannon

[quote] Ashley Jones as Mira.

What's that growth on her chest?

McGill isn't bad looking. But, with some makeup he'll look ugly like Bannon.

I think the Oscar accountant is available to play Matt Damon.

[quote] I think the Oscar accountant is available to play Matt Damon.

Which one - left or right?

Produced by TWC.

Who will play Matt Damon's rabbit-faced wife?

Faye Dunaway in a cameo plays herself crashing TIFF demanding Harvey produce Master Class and she'll do anything to make it happen.

Why can't Ronan "Mommie's Special Little Guy" "Farrow" play himself?

R122, that looks like Frank Sinatra.

The White House Pussy Grabbers are available to play the King of Hollywood's Pussy Grabbers.

One size fits all pussies!

Unless they're busy pressing that red button in the nuclear football. Stay tuned!

I see what you mean, R123!

Rosie Perez as Asia Argento

Sarah Michelle Gellar as Mira Sorvino

Wow Jeff Bezos now roped into this.

Spacey to the rescue.

Pamela Anderson as Lindsay Lohan

Jennifer Ehle as Meryl Street

R127 But who will play Spacey when he's finally outed as the predator he is?

Jeffrey Epstein: the billionaire paedophile with links to Bill Clinton, [bold]Kevin Spacey[/bold], Robert Maxwell – and Prince Andrew

In the final scene, Meryl Streep, driving along Mulholland Drive and whispering the following lines: "At the end of every day, I drive through the neighborhood of Hollywood and I cross the bridge that will take me home. I feel the words building inside me, I can't stop them, or tell you why I say them, but as I reach the top of the bridge, these words come to me in a whisper. I say these words as a prayer, as regret, as praise, I say: Weinstein, Weinstein."

THE END.

Carice van Houten or Kristen Stewart as Eva Green

Eva Green was also a victim of Harvey Weinstein. Her mother confirmed today.

Just think of the movie merch potential!

Hey Kids! Swill like a mogul with your very own WeinStein (TM)!

Horror film - 81+

Yeah, Russell Crowe as Harvey!!!

Sure, he's too young and slim and handsome for the role, but he's a bloody good actor. And if he can find it in himself to come into work every day hung over and bloated and pissed off for no reason, he'll be perfect.

Casted.

So slim

FROY as Colton Haynes ....wanton high end prostitute fronting as an actor, encouraging his fellow actresses to do WHATEVER it takes to MAKE IT!

Brie Larson as Lysette Anthony

Sarah Gadon as Lysette Anthony

Blake Lively as Gretchen Mol

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Duff McKagan as Goop

Haley Bennett as Gretchen Mol

Angelina Jolie as Brad Pitt

Who will play Anabella Sciorra?

Krysten Ritter, r147.

Cristin Millioti sort of looks like an uglier version of Sciorra.

Casted

Amber Heard could play Mira Sorvino.

Spacey as Weinstein

I saw Vincent D’Onofrio in the locker room of my gym. Fully shaved pubic bush, great looking cock and balls, but big gut. Not shy either, would be completely naked while applying deodorant or getting stuff out of his locker while most of observe the 21st century enforced male modesty.

^^^ most of *us*

Lohan could play McGowan. Both have that weird, overly worked on look.

Who will play Paz de la Huerta?

Steven Tyler

Paz Vega as Paz de la Huerta

Greta Fernández as Paz

Now casting for Julianna Margulies

Nigella Lawson as Julianna Margulies

Ghost of Raúl Juliá as Marion Cotillard

Haley Bennett as Jennifer Lawrence

Shannen Doherty as Rose McGowan. Dennis O'Hare as Kevin Spacey. Ken Jeong as George Takei.

We need an obese, sloppy, unshaven, sweaty, slob of a man to play Harvey. Tiny endowment required, engulfed by surrounding body fat. High estrogen level preferred for the body hair loss and man boobs, foot ulcer a plus.

John Goodman as Harvey Weinstein

Ashley Tisdale as Mira Sorvino

Who's playing his co-inmate at sex rehab, Kevin Spacey?

R168 Peter Serafinowicz

Randall Boggs as Uma Thurman

jkkggg

Christopher Judge as Angelina Jolie

Add some weight, bad hair, fake blemishes and warts to this actor George Dzundza (You my remember him from basic Instinct among other things). He could do it! He's good at angry.

Russell Crowe as Weinstein

Good choice!

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R108 Mira Sorvino just spoke out on Weinstein. Who should play her?

Amy Pohler.

Anyone suggest Pruitt Taylor Vince for Harvey?

Samantha Morton as Samantha Morton

Ashley Judd or Katherin Heigle as Charlize Theron (they all look the same to me)

Dianne Wiest as Renee Zellweger

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Hillary Swank as suicide Jill Messick, McGowan's manager who covered the whole thing up, then joined the Weinstein Co.

We just need someone who looks world weary and regretful as they close their garage door with a car running...