Let's be the movie "Eyes of Laura Mars

I am Darlanne Fleugel and I am stunning. DeNiro wants me.

" . . . If you're not a horny creep, leave a message after the beep!"

I am Tommy Lee Jones, still young and handsome, undamaged by the ravages of time.

I am Brad Dourif's knife.

I cut rope and shit.

I am the 18 year old gayling who decided to major in fashion design after watching both this movie and Mahogany. I spent the last 20 years working in HR

I'm Barbra, standing in the shadows because I declined to star in the film:

"Producer Jon Peters, who was dating Barbra Streisand at the time, bought the screenplay as a starring vehicle for the actress, but Streisand eventually decided not to take the role because of "the kinky nature of the story," as Peters later explained. As a result, the role went to Dunaway"

I'm Faye's oversized winter coats that make her look like a frau visiting Manhattan from Staten Island instead of a cosmopolitan high fashion photographer.

I'm Tommy Lee Jones' moonscaped face, even more pronounced on his younger skin.

I'm the one semi-hot male model in the entire movie.

I am Jim Devine the aforementioned model, I was a top Elite model in 1978 . Am I still alive ? NY DL's anyone know him?

I am the nice apartments , that no one can afford nowadays .

I'm her photographer's "pose".

I'm Laura's "Electric" premonitions!

I'm an an instant star of the world of CHIC!

I'm Streisand singing the theme song which is really rather cool and eerie.

I'm Raul Julia who temperamentally and inexplicably demanded to be billed only as R.J.

Here is the aforementioned blow dried hair

when I was a kid some of the older high school guys had hair like that r17. I never understood how they got it to look that way.

The ONLY thing I remember from the movie was a long....LONG-LONG-LONG! wool scarf she had draped around her neck and she was running across a street and that damn (L O N G!) scarf looked really...stupid.

I'm the color brown...and I'm EVERYWHERE!

I'm the lack of homeless people in the alleys and side streets that she runs through

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Everything was brown/beige in the 70s.

We are Janice Dickinson and Sterling St Jacques moving and grooving to Michael Zager Band's infectious LET'S ALL CHANT while Jim Devine plays dead.

Jim Devine died in 2019.

I’m John Carpenter (yes, that John Carpenter) who wrote the original version of the screenplay before Jon Peters “influenced” it and the rest of the chaotic production.

I'm the crashed car on fire in that staged Faye photo shoot.

I’m Helmet Newton. I took the fetishy photos Faye pretends to in the film. I’m not a little homosexual boy!

I'm the bad reviews, though Pauline Kael like the film.