Bottoms that don't get hard

OP, you need to get out more and not let DL be your only contact with the outside world.

The fictional scenarios you frequently create are about as interesting as watching grass grow. Or maybe that's your troll like intention. In any event, take advantage of your county or state social services and recreational facilities. They're readily available and can offer structure for someone like yourself who is older and alone.

I am in my early 30s and my income is on the top 1% of Americans. I have a full, well-rounded life and a great social network. This was the second thread I have ever started- the other one was several months ago and I don't even remember the topic.

Not everyone on this site is an old, washed up loser like you.

I'm probably not the best person to answer as I'm not exclusive to any role in sex, but I can enjoy bottoming without getting hard/cumming. In my experiences of casual sex and in relationships, all but one guy didn't hit the spot or hit it for long enough to bring me to climax. The best bottoming experiences I've had were with a fb who always lasted much longer than 5-10 mins and who wouldn't come until I did.

As for not being hard, there's a lot going on back there during fucking. It's not even pain so much as needing to... eh, "warm the oven", and guys don't always take the time or have the inclination. I guess "the time" in question is variable and down to the individuals.

WHO don't get hard, not THAT.

[quote]I am in my early 30s and my income is on the top 1% of Americans.

Tell us more about this. This is far more interesting than flaccid bottoms. What do you do? How are you dumb enough not to know this is a very common thing, yet smart enough to earn >600k in your early 30s?

Yes, tell us more about your job and how you got it. That is interesting.

Sounds like a very meth-y situation, OP.

Meth and a likely pnp scene.

OP here- I worked very hard in my 20s and picked a field that is lucrative. It's a small field, so I don't want to disclose exactly what it is. It required a great deal of dedication to reach this level, so it's not something most people choose (or are qualified to pursue).

I was suspicious of crystal meth, but I haven't been exposed to drugs other than marijuana. These two bottoms were the ones who initiated the sex, so I found it weird that they didn't get hard. If I had that problem, I'd be embarrassed, but these guys weren't bothered at all.

You should message them, OP. Shame them.

R4- thank you, I realized that, but was too lazy to fix it. I suppose I instinctively typed "that" instead of "who" because in my mind "bottoms" was more of a concept than a reference actual people.

R5- "dumb enough" not to know this is a common thing?

I don't have many sexual partners, but enough. These were the only two times I had sex with guys who didn't get hard. My question was "why?" I was thinking it could be due to drugs, but thought maybe it was some psychological issue or fetish. I am not familiar enough with them to ask, and even if I were, I'm not sure they'd be truthful.

There is literally no such thing as a "small field" that requires a great amount of dedication and pays over a half million salary by your early 30s. Your options are finance and the law, basically. Neither of those is a small field.

The 1% remark is also a tell, because people who make that amountare generally not that impressed with money once they reach that level.

Either way, small field or not, there is no reason why you cannot tell us the field. There is zero chance you would be identified. The only reason you won't tell us is because you can't find the right line of work that fits the big lie you have already told us about yourself.

R12. You think you're pretty clever, but you missed the general field in which I work. There are many subspecialties under my general umbrella, and most pay about 1/3 to 1/2 what I make. It is a pretty small specialty and I don't know any other gay men who do what I do. I only mentioned the top 1% because I recently got a promaotion and last week I googled "what % of Americans earn XXX?" Maybe I'm superficial, but I was curious.

[quote]This was the second thread I have ever started- the other one was several months ago

Don't think we haven't been grateful you didn't have another during those months. Let's see how long you can go until the next miss.

OP, plenty of people who are being fucked don't get hard aroused.

Yes OP, I have a 20 year old bf who is "new" to gaydom and he says that I'm his first male partner. I don't know if I buy that because the first photos that he sent to me were pics of his ass with one where he is bent over and others with his legs spread open. (This was not someone that I found on any app. ) Well we been having sex and he always ends up being the bottom. That's fine with me but as I'm pounding him, he is moaning, and asking me to cum inside him but his penis isn't hard. I thought that was " different ". He does get hard with oral and cums but it's not a large amount. His penis is slightly below average in size, if that means anything. So OP, I share your perplexity about this .

Weird thread. OP in early 30s and never knew of this? small but lucrative field? The only gay ban doing it? Something's off here.

They are on drugs and full of diseases

OP - I assumed at first you're an MD. Some MDs might still be making that much. Is that correct? (don't have to say what sub specialty). And are you making over $600K?

Also, bottoms not getting hard isn't uncommon. In fact, I've had many tops ask me 'do you stay hard when you get fucked?' implying they have had lots of experience with guys who do not.

I lose my erection when I get fucked. I'm still turned on but there are too many other things going on.

OP, haven't you seen it in porn?

Anyway, good job pulling the ladder up behind you.

Love always, Skeletor

Actually, OP, give us a hint.

Others who have been fucked while limp: did you cme? Can your organ without an erecting?

Get a load of r15. Nobody on this thread gives a shit or wants to hear about your rancid twat. FFS.

OP What state are you in? That impacts what 1% income is

Getting fucked is insanely hot. But it's not, for me, jack off hot. My dick is never hard. But I love every minute of it.

Relax. Not everyone responds to stimuli the same way.

How did the gay world come to label everyone as either a top or a bottom? I am a cocksucker. A proud cocksucker. That is my orientation. Why don't I get a label of my own?

R26 = Dick master.

R27 I have a thirst that must be quenched.

Drugs

I love it, the more submissive and passive the bottom, if he's hot, the hottert he fucking

Top here, R30, and I couldn't agree more.

I'm in my 30s and probably considered in the top 1%. But, I'm a trust fund baby. The OP smells like new money.

Don't worry, R26. You can build a hundred damn bridges and nobody calls you a "bridge builder," but suck one lousy cock and the whole world calls you a cocksucker.

It sounds like you and those other men were on drugs OP.

All the vers/bottom men I have been with have been able to get hard during sex even if we did not do anal sex and the times we did have anal sex some would jerk off and get hard and ejaculate after I gave them some prostate orgasms.

It's what's on the inside that counts!

you have to relax the pelvic wall to have proper penetration. that relaxation can also relax the erection

OP , another possibility is psychological issues. I sometimes have E.D. when I'm with guys because of my psych issues, since I was a teen. No, not on any meds & yes, everything works fine when solo. It's very tiresome to have to explain whats going on with me to the new guys I'm with. So much so, I've avoided sex for a few years now. So while it might not be fun for you, that your guy isn't getting wood, try to be compassionate. At least you're getting off, right?

I have been in a number of situations with pass-around bottoms. They are rarely, if ever, hard. One explained that it's all about the pleasure of the top so he has no idea what's happening to his own cock.

[quote] It seemed like these guys were really into it and enjoyed bottoming, but didn't even get a little hard and were happy not to cum.

Yeah... guys can"fake it" too.

I think R38 explained the situations I had. These guys were the typical "pass around bottoms". I didn't know them prior to the time we all had sex, but my friends who were there never use drugs. I can't be sure that these two guys didn't use drugs, but they seemed totally sober.

The other guys and I really were trying to get them hard (without saying anything about it or making it obvious). I tried sucking them, kissing their neck, sucking their nipples, talking sweetly to them, being super dominant. Nothing got any movement. Like i said, everyone involved was pretty attractive- the bottoms were definitely no hotter than anyone else there.

Oh and I love the personal attacks from the guys on this site ...like I am "new money". Lol. I don't consider myself old money or new money.... someone made a comment hinting that I don't work (or something like that) so I was being defensive and proved I have a good job. I don't know where i stand in terms of net worth, but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be top 1%-- I was referring to my current salary when I said that. My lifestyle is very casual. ... and the accusation that I was on drugs. I'm very health conscious and have never done drugs in my life. I don't even drink enough to get drunk. So many crazy judgemental guys on this site! I guess that teaches me to ask a question and try to gain some perspective on an issue that intrigued me.

Thanks for all the thoughtful replies though!!

Interestingly so many of these total bottoms hate getting sucked and often don't even jerk themselves during sex. Many will wear thongs that cover their own dicks.

jockstraps do wonders for a girl's figure

That's interesting R41. A friend of mine that's a bottom would wear jockstraps under his clothes when he was married and in a monogamous marriage with another man. I saw one and thought, 'Really? I know you are married and want to feel sexy and maybe find a jockstrap comfortable but it's akin to a married sexy haus-frau wearing lingerie under her clothing and not caring who sees it.'

I do wonder if he's the type you described that covers his cock and balls during sex? I have seen men do this in porn videos with their hands and it's odd to me. When I am a top/active with men I like to see their cocks so I can jerk them off while I fuck them.

different strokes for different folks

Sex is very psychological

sex can make you feel great

Someone said in another thread that bottoms often have issues with their self-confidence and I agree with that. For one, total tops have a higher status than total bottoms. That's indisputable. Some bottoms internalize that. At its extreme, it seems that many bottoms don't see themselves as full men, but as some kind of demi-men who aren't good enough to fuck anyone or even to receive pleasure, but rather to simply be used as "holes" for "real" men. This dynamic might only exist in the bedroom and the guy could be perfectly normal in general, but it usually seems to seep into real life at least a little.

R47 what about men who are versatile? I know men who actually are vers in that they fuck/get fucked. However, I know one guy who claims to be "versatile" but 99% of the time he wants to get fucked, feels as though sex is not complete or satisfying unless he gets fucked, and basically he IS a "hole" for men and his "husband" who he cheats on will straight up call him a whore to his face a lot and this guy will flat out say "I'm a whore."

you're a whore, darlin

Op in r40 you describe perfect top behavior in my book. I'm a cute total bottom and it's disappointing to me when a top just uses me. If he kisses and jacks me and plays with my nipples and is into getting me off to? I'm his little bitch and way more into it. Total boner time. But sometimes just being a submissive bottom is kinda hot and maybe not as boner inducing.

bottoms are ready for use and abuse

Bottoms have feelings too!

Bottoms lives matter!

OP's job is clearly being some Mexican jefe's main hombre running drugs to US ports.

Or perhaps he's Uday or Qusay Trump's body double.

Have a Bartles & James, OP r40.

It will take the edge off, since you don't "drink to get drunk" and are also an enormous pussy .

Bottoms who don't get hard are rarely tight. Add some lube and it's like fucking a wad of paper towels. A bottom who is hard tightens up his hole and you can feel it when you are fucking them when cocks rub together inside. Limp duck bottoms are a wast of time.

So what industry are you in OP? And is your take income $600k+?

R16, you're not the only guy fucking him. Sorry to break the news to you.

Op has been watching too much porn where actors receive erection enhancement drugs or injections. It's not real life. Losing an erection while getting fucked is normal.

Yes r59 and a lot of men in porn are on meth and other drugs.

This could have been an interesting topic, but it went sideways along the way. Who cares what someone earns? Getting back to the question. Yes, some guys, including me, don't get hard while being fucked and sometimes we do. Why? I don't know. I've been with some really hot guys and it (hard on) doesn't happen. Recently, with someone new, I came at the same time he did. When I top, sometimes they get hard and come before I do. Perhaps there is no specific answer and we leave it at that.

Speaking as a 50year old tattooed kinda sub kinky total bottom pig cock craving load loving bear next door kinda guy - very masculine but a complete cock whore cum slut in bed when getting topped. I 95% of the time don’t even get hard, let alone cum. For me it’s been two fold - I’m 100% into making my top(s) feel good and cum/give me their loads (preferably in my ass) which is usually the case and I don’t even ask for any reciprocation. And NO IM NOT DOI G DRUGS OTHER THAM SOME LIGHT 420. Or it’s because I’m with a douche of a top and they don’t know what they are doing or care. Needless to say they don’t get asked back. But if m enjoying an awesome Top right now 2 days in a week and 4 hours per session wow!!) and he’s really a vers in disguise and is on a mission to get me hard and use my cum as lube to fuck my ass and seed me. I’m thats fucking hot and I hope he’s successful - I’ll let you know.

I am a bottom and don't always get bone hard.

I often get hard, but when my prostate is being deep dicked my sensory focus goes to that spot.

Tops should never interpret that as a lack of interest. It's how some bottoms are wired.

I'm always hard before it reaches that point, just my nipples get me there. In fact, I am getting hard right now thinking about it.

IT'S CALLED CRYSTAL DICK, HUNTY!!!!!

Sounds like something that would be sold on GOOP.com, r65.

Was the bottom thumbing through a magazine while you were fucking him, OP?