Joe Alwyn, Taylor Swift's new "boyfriend"

Taylor really loves her twinks, doesn't she?

I'm guessing she's a succubus who drinks the blood of cute young guys.

True love...

"Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn Make Rare Appearance Together in NYC"

Taylor Swift is going to extreme measures to keep her romance with Joe Alwyn private, but even they can’t resist a joint workout session.

Earlier this week, the “Blank Space” singer, 27, and the 26-year-old British actor decided to brave the paparazzi en route to the gym. The undercover couple — whose romance was revealed in May — were photographed together as they left Swift’s NYC apartment.

Shielding their faces in hoodies, Taylor and Joe attempted to go as incognito as possible.

Taylor and Joe sightings have been scarce, to say the least. After a highly publicized (and scrutinized) romance last summer with Tom Hiddleston, it appears the superstar is going the opposite route with her new relationship.

So what do we know about the couple and how serious things are looking? Let’s break it down:

They’ve been dating longer than you think: While we don’t know exactly when romance blossomed for Swift and Alwyn, it was some time before it made headlines. The Sun was the first outlet to break the dating news in May. A source was quoted at the time as saying that Taylor and Joe “have been together for several months and have known each other for a long time.”

We know Taylor at least knew who Joe was in October. They were photographed hanging out with a group of people after a Kings of Leon concert. Alwyn made his acting debut last year in Ang Lee’s war flick Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk, which Swift caught a showing of the following month.

E! reported in early June that Taylor and Joe were officially exclusive.

Taylor’s friends approve: It’s rumored that Swift’s BFF Emma Stone set her up with Joe. Emma and Joe filmed The Favourite together, so it’s a plausible theory.

Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds have also spent time with the couple. According to E! News, the foursome hung out together this past weekend in Rhode Island, where Taylor has her beach house. Selena Gomez and Gigi Hadid have also reportedly gotten to know him and are happy for their squad leader.

Both families approve: While Taylor was secretly getting to know Joe, he was still living at home with his parents in London. Naturally, the singer became acquainted his family too. Swift even jetted to London for Father’s Day and spent the weekend with the Alwyns.

“After spending the weekend together, Taylor offered to host Father’s Day at her [London] place, with Joe’s mum and dad treating her to a classic Sunday roast to show her how the Brits do it,” a source told the Sun. Clearly, things went well.

In June, the couple was photographed together in Nashville, where Joe reportedly spent “quality time” getting to know Swift’s family. “She’s enjoying being more low-key, and Joe makes her laugh,” a source told People at the time.

Apparently both trips went well, as E! claims both families “love” them together.

Joe and Taylor are privately very happy together: According to multiple reports, things are going extremely well for the couple.

“Joe and Taylor are doing great,” a source tells E! News. “He is different than the other guys she has dated. He is very low-key and just a chill guy overall. They get along great and really got to know each other over the past few months.”

The insider adds, “Taylor is just taking extra precautionary measures in this relationship so her life is not out to the world like her past relationships,” the source explained.

People also stresses how important privacy is to their relationship.

“Taylor has been insanely private about her relationship with Joe,” a source exclaims. “She wanted to get to know him without any chaos. She has learned from the past.”

It’s no surprise then that we can count on one hand how many times they’ve been photographed together. So despite the hoodies and gym clothes, soak up the Taylor and Joe pics while you can.

Yawn

Her latest merkin.

She likes young cock on the side. Don't blame her.

He pussy stinks, Tom and that other guy she wrote a song about told me.

R5 No she's not. Is your gaydar broken? She's the definition of straight.

This Taylor Swift person has had at least 800 boyfriends. What is wrong? Can't find the right guy?

Guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurl is what the OP photo says to me.

[quote] What is wrong? Can't find the right guy?

She doesn't need a guy. She has ME.

Poor Joe.

He really doesn't have a clue, does he?

Jesus Christ tumblr has arrived. Let's just ignore the fact that Karlie has had a boyfriend for over 5 years, since before she met Taylor.

She's a big pussy eating dyke.

Because she's over the top with it, either she's an idiot or she likes putting her beards in everyone's face as a fuck you/hiding in plain sight tactic.

[quote] Karlie has had a boyfriend for over 5 years

You mean the uber-gay Joshua Kushner, aka brother of Jared Kushner?

Give me a break, mary.

They're bearding for each other, while Karlie eats out Taylor's snatch.

(PS, Josh and Karlie always look miserable together)

R15 Josh is rich, jewish and nerdy. All things that can be confused with gay. I love how you use the argument that he pings as evidence when Karlie doesn't at all. Meanwhile there is no actual evidence either are gay, why would either even need a beard anyways noone knows who he is and being a lezzie is a career plus for models.

Was supposed to be the next big thing starring in Ang lee's "Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk", but it was a huge flop and didn't even gross $2 million.

I think he's gay. Just like all the rest of them.

Stop saying we're lesbians, ya'll!

With all these boyfriends, her gash must be one sloppy mess. The female Dawson.

Ummm, none of these guys are interested in Taylor's vagina.

R21 lol Calvin Harris, Harry Styles, John Mayer all definitely like vagina, stop living in your fantasy land.

Except for Calvin Harris, R21.

He seemed to be the only actual straight guy that TS "dated."

Taylor Lautner, Tom Hiddleston, and this Joe Alwyn... all gay.

Unfortunately for Calvin, he didn't have the right equipment for TS.

What do we think?

We think that he is totally straight, and deeply enamored of Taylor.

We also think that Taylor is totally straight and legitimately trying to keep this relationship out of the media (because, you know, she's "insanely private").

We are absolutely convinced that this is in no way a double-bearding situation for publicity, because, I mean, Taylor would NEVER!

We also believe the world is flat, and that Trump's inauguration crowd was the largest in history.

[quote][R21] lol Calvin Harris, Harry Styles, John Mayer all definitely like vagina, stop living in your fantasy land.

Can you believe anyone thinks those three guys are gay R22? I mean....it's actually not surprising because they still think DiCaprio is gay. STILL. In 2017. After 30 years of banging supermodels.

I think Harry Styles is gay r25.

And ugly.

The only boyfriends of Taylor's that might possibly be gay are the first two, Jonas and Lautner. The rest are all straight/bi and all real.

Taylor herself is beyond straight it's amazing to me that anyone could think she would eat a pussy I can't even picture it.

But you can picture her sucking cock, r27? Really?

R28 Of course I can she's a basic mean girl queen bee. Those types love bad boy man whores and getting fucked and dominated. Her dating history reflects this.

I'd say her dating this guy means she's looking to settle down now with a "nice guy" Probably still getting dick on the side though.

Anyone see the video of Taylor and Karlie at a concert where it looks like they are making out?

R30 Everyone has. They're not. They're acting like literally every straight girl acts with their friends.

She really is a lesbian isn't she?

I mean I had my doubts but this is a girl allergic to erections.

So obviously, Taylor is a big old lesbian.

But what does that say about Joe? Is he gay? Or just dumb?

Her new bf is so 'Meh'. She's super-rich, super-famous, young-ish, pretty-ish. And this guy is the best she can do?

If I had what she has - I'd have a whole harem of handsome studs for night-time, and bright, intellectual men for daytime.

[quote] And this guy is the best she can do?

Well, clearly she requires prettier than "twink pretty", as in female pretty.

Oh R34, Taylor Swift wants a harem, all right. But not of "young studs."

She wants a traditional harem, full of pussy.

Don't forget Jake Gyllenhaal, he's straight. He's almost forty rich and good looking and is married...err I mean engaged, oh make that he has a girlfriend...oh fuck it, never mind.

Jake G is saving himself for ME!

I guess r31 has a lot of straight female friends that make out with each other.

R37 Ah the old "None of her ex-boyfriends have married or have kids" argument. But can't that mean she goes for men who don't want to settle down? Why does everyone have to be gay according to DL?

R39 Who doesn't?

She's a carpetmuncher and you will deal.

Okay lets look at her list of boyfriends: Joe Jonas, Taylor Lautner, John Mayer, Jake Gyllenhaal, Conor Kennedy, Harry Styles, Calvin Harris, Tom Hiddleston, Joe Alwyn.

This isn't even counting her rumored one night stands and high school bfs. Are we seriously going to claim all of these men are gay and all bearding her? Just so you can keep your fantasy of her being gay? Why do you even want to claim her anyways?

There were rumors that Taylor was dating Drake. Hmmm.

Mutual bearding.

Some of the guys she's "dated" don't seem gay to me, but at least half of them are. Taylor Lautner? Come on.

Is she an Incest Survivor who is scared of masculine men to avoid re-traumatizing herself?

She loves her bottoms, doesn't she.

He seriously belongs on the "guys who look like lesbians" board.

That list does not help your argument at all, R42.

AT. ALL.

Riding the publicity train until the last stop. Whatever it takes to stay relevant. Boyfriends, girlfriends, beards, lavender marriages, conveniences, paparazzi, People Mag, WHAT EVAH. S'all good, gurls.

He's very, very cute in Billy Lynn. Only one fleeting shirtless scene. But lots of typical Ang Lee shots of his bare upper arms and armpits, sweaty and flexing.

Most super star singers are gay or Jewish. Taylor is super star without even having talent. She is driven by Gay demons. She will Crack up worse than Michael Jackson. Her relationships with men seem scripted. She is quite an ugly girl. Pigeon toed and pigeon faced. Lots of gays r ugly ie keith RI hands and mick

He's milquetoast...very doughy and diffident looking.

Is he British?

Omigod, I just checked.

He IS British!

If Taylor's a lez that how does John Mayer fit into that?

Nobody associated with Taylor Swift, now or in the future, is gay or lesbian. No one, you hear? No one.

"I only date in England" - Vin Swift

Is Orlando Bloom gay? He was with Katie Perry who came out. Orlando hangs with dicaprio. Mayer is gay and dated Katie and Taylor. Taylor is so ugly. Guys don't date ugly no matter how much Charisma she may have. She should go with Ed sheran

I don't know if she's a dyke or not but, man, does she look desperate for "boyfriends" and none of these so-called relationships lasts long. She appears to be set up in PR arrangements with British actors who are trying to break big here in the States. If I had her money, I'd quit trying to desperately date and chill out. Nothing wrong with not being in a relationship, gay or straight. I've gone long stretches of celibacy and actually don't mind it. Of course, I'm in my 50's now and always been independent and actually enjoy hanging out at home with my animals and books.

She needs to lose the vapid friends though. Ugh to all of them.

I'd fuck Joe Alwyn. Any pics of his ass?

I don't know if Taylor is gay but the Hiddleston mess was embarrassing.

sure, r55, sure.

Gurl got herself a brand new purse and a Prada contract.

He's as gay as she is.