Blobfish Piss Me Off.

He can't help it ☹️

Fuck you, Blobfish. Fuck you straight to hell.

Who?

But at least his relationship will last...

NO, blobfish, don't be giving me that look. Fuck you, blobfish. Fuck you.

As if this site needs more Trump pics.

Beautiful to another blobfish.

After it kissed me, I always used to wipe my mouth. WIPE MY MOUTH!

Sandy Dennis kissed a blobfish?

"Sandy Dennis"

Until you're known in my profession as a monster, you're not a star.

I hope you die!

I hope you die soon!

I'll be waiting for you to die!

Wow! never thought i'd see a blob fish troll, let alone on DL

There comes a time in every tetraepod's life where the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.

I'll get you, blobfish! Even if I have to crawl back from the grave to do it!

Why are you posting pictures of Ted Cruz, op?

Fucking fat facers

Nobody puts Baby in a corner.

Blobby looks like Ziggy!

Poor thing!

You're a vile, sorry little blobfish!

You're everything that's repulsive to me!

Aww. They are so ugly they become cute . Like Sarah Jessica Parker .

Heaven help me. I love a psychotic.

[quote]Wow! never thought i'd see a blob fish troll, let alone on DL

I disagree. The fact that he's on DL is the only thing that does make sense.

Hey assholes, I look great at home.

[quote]Wow! never thought i'd see a blob fish troll, let alone on DL

Personally, I am unable to imagine any variation of a troll that has not appeared at some point on DL.

Bette Davis run amok on DL!

I'd love to kiss yuh, but ah just washed mah hair.

^ That is Miss Bette Blobfish to you, Sir. Now shall we order? I think, I think I'll have a large order of Prognosis Negative.

Give it up, blobfish. I detest cheap sentiment.

"You're so beautiful, Blobfish!"

The oysters are the most treacherous of us all. They come to the strong and drain them. They are bottomless. They are insatiable. They are always parched and always bitter. They are everyone's concern and like vampires they suck our life's blood.

Oysters piss me off.

Angler Fish annoy the crap out of me. Who the fuck do they think they are?

Is that Jennifer Lawrence, OP?

You can fuck right off, oysters. DL is for bobflish, not bivalves.

Such unremitting bile against the bivalves!!

FACT: NOT even ONE blobfish showed up to work at the Twin Towers that morning.

There was a study, and out of millions and millions of blobfish? Not even ONE.

My lips were so blue that day.

Come on, blobfish. Let's you and me get drunk.

Clark was not even remotely interested in having a blobfish as his co-star in Gone With The Wind. I know that for a FACT.

Me no like you make fun. Me Melvin the Christmas Blobfish and me know if you bad. Or good. Me Melvin. The Christmas Blobfish. Me say that already. Me sorry. Me think you better be good, or me bite bite BITE you on Christmas Eve. Me go poop in stream now.

Well this sure is fun!

Oh ffs, Melvin, peeing in our stream again? You promised you'd practice your kegels. Well go on then, just stay downstream from the guppies.

Must every thread on Datalounge be about Donald Trump?

Oh R38, don't lets ask for the moon when we already have the stars.

"I love a psychotic."

I love a piano.

I still love the man I killed.

Bumping for the pure inanity of this bizarre and twisted thread.

OP you don't need to publish so many pictures of yourself, the first one will do.

Blobfish? Yeah, I've done 'em.

The blobfish is a peculiar and charming sultan of the sea. He gives love, he makes love, he is love. Who among you can say that of yourselves?

Would that any of us were as good as blobfish.

Poor things. Killed as specimens, called ugly.

Because I did not stop for blobfish, he kindly stopped for me.

You watch yourself, OP. One of these days you'll find an avocado in your microwave.

Just a dab of fresh beach sand mixed in with the ooze and you'll be gripping your blobfish like a post-season champ.

Blobfish look better at closing time.

Blobfish are never seen drinking cappuccino in Italian restaurants with Oriental women.

"Blobfish, would I were steadfast as thou art."

For many years, it was believed that this was the last poem Keats ever wrote before his death in 1821, and that the blobfish it describes is his fiancée, Fanny Brawne.

You sure is ugly, miss Celie

When you love a blobfish, you do what you need to and you don't complain.

there are better fish to love, DL

Can I get that penis fish cut?

Fact: The average length of the blobfish penis is 8.6 inches, flaccid.

Take THAT, you goddamn uncut stupid chinese penis fish.

OMG It’s Chrissy Metz naked wid no makeup!

And now let's imagine a happy little blobfish.

Bob Ross pisses me off.

Happy dogs piss me off.

Domestic violence rates for blobfish are very low, so all you haters and divorcées can suck it.

How dare you criticize my blobfish.

DL caftan wearing cunt.

You bitches are mean!

"They are and have been the muse of artists for centuries,"

-Hey there Georgie-Girl Seurat

This thread. Silly, foolish, stupid, fatuous, idiotic, ridiculous, ludicrous, absurd, senseless, asinine, frivolous, vapid;

More!

Look. It's Tilly Groberman

Ben, Ben! I was wrong, Ben, I WAS WRONG. Come back to me, Ben, I love you,

LEAVE BLOBFISH ALONE!

Ben, it's Gloria. Anderson misses you, there should be nothing left unsaid, Ben.

I had such a crappy day and this thread made me laugh out loud. Thanks, all! And, fuck you, blobfish!

But he has Hello Kitty eyeballs.

We've already seen enough photos of Lens Dunham, thanks

and to think this won Best Picture.

When they're swimming at 2,500 feet below sea level, blobfish are actually quite cute. That ugly, deformed-looking face is a result of severe decompression trauma after been caught as bycatch from deep sea trawling nets.

In other words, if you or I were to be dragged to that depth and photographed, we'd look hideous too.

It’s sad that I’m making fun of dead fish. I have no life.

Blobfish AND angler fish can go fuck themselves. Fucking stupid assholes.

And so the fuck what r82, they're still goddamn hideous.

Fuck blobfish.

It looks a bit like Shirley MacLaine without her wig in Postcards From the Edge.

She must have been a blobfish in a previous life.

Anglerfish uses the N word constantly.

Little known fact — it’s actually called a blobfish because it loves to suck up congealed cum off of naugahyde couches. It’s a depraved and perverted fish — I love it.

TOO SMALL FOR EAT!

I always said blobfish would be SO attractive if it took off some weight, firmed up a bit.

Turns out I was wrong.

Blobfish? Wrote a song about it wanna hear it here it go

Blobfish? It is Drumpf's damaged scalp.

R84, you're definitely going on THE LIST!

Blobfish look so sad. I feel sorry for them and hope they stay away from humans. Humans are such awful people.

Humans might be awful people, but they are wonderful fish.

Bump bump bump

Blobfish are terrible drivers, that is a fact. This is why you do not see blobfish driving city buses, taxis or emergency vehicles. It is not because they are unsightly, it is because they crash into things and are a menace.

I shared a lunch counter once with a blobfish, nice guy. He offered me a taste of his pie and we talked mostly about sports. I should have shook his hand on the way out, but the goo was a little off-putting.

Blobfish are why we can't have nice things.

Could be worse. I could be a blobfish.

I love to bathe in a tub full of blobfish.

I am a super shy person, and I have found that taking my therapy bobfish on a nice walk around the block is a stressless and effortless way to meet new people.

I love my blobfish! I love him, I love him! If you knew him you'd love him, too!

Before James Dean moved into the Chateau Marmont and made it a Hollywood landmark and go-to spot for stars to get up to no good, there was the far more notorious, but now long-forgotten Garden of Allah.

The hotel’s ambrosial name certainly had no reflection on its reputation as the never-ending house party on Sunset Boulevard. F Scott Fitzgerald was among the many famous tenants of the Garden, where he embarked on a love affair with a blobfish while Zelda was tucked away in a sanitarium.

Resident Marlene Dietrich liked to swim nude in what was then Hollywood’s largest blobfish pool, and even the would-be President Ronald Reagan stayed at the hotel, where he bedded so many blobfish that he once told a friend ‘I woke up one morning and I couldn’t remember the name of the blob that I was in bed with.’

The pictures here and above at r103 shows the panic that swept the Garden of Allah one night when a drunken blobfish peed in the pool. Below is a young Bobby Kennedy assisting a distraught young woman out of the pool. Years later his brother Ted would leave Mary Jo Kopechne to drown after driving off the Chappaquiddick bridge. It was insinuated that Ms. Kopechne was, in fact, a blobfish, but that is not true, and these incidents are not related.

I'm risking an avocado in my fridge, but it's long been rumored that the Mexican Sinoloa cartel is actually run by blobfish.

Stop making fun of blobfish. Did you know that the only reason why they appear the way they do is because they have suffered from decompression injuries? They're in a lot of pain, and you people are making light of an animal that is suffering.

I just KNOW that goddamn blobfish put that avocado in the microwave!

r106, where is your concern for poor Zelda?? Injuries or not, blobfish are notorious homewreckers and must be reviled.

They are cute but surprised no one has yet mentioned that they are delicious as well.

Few people know this as the Academy has tried to sweep it under the rug, but the only reason Barbra Streisand tied with Katharine Hepburn is because Streisand managed to secure temporary voting privileges for her blobfish.

Let me tell you something about the life of a male angler fish, whose sole purpose is to spend a life literally starving and in search of a mate. While nibbling upon the face of his intended, his lips are melted in acid. The rest of his body is then melted and absorbed INTO HER FACE, leaving only his testicles to dangle off the female because tweezers, apparently, are not available at such depths. Blobfish suffer no such treachery.

FEMALE ANGLER FISH PISS ME OFF.

Blobfish are all well and good but they're no mega-slime producing hagfish

Every one of you people are sick in the head and I am out of here. Reader's Digest doesn't sicken people on a beautiful Sunday morning. You should all be ashamed.

Blobfish don't believe in God!

Blump

Don't cry, little blobfish. Just ignore the hateful people in this thread, throw yourself into your schoolwork, and never look back.

Study hard and years from now, when they're still on DL shrieking about Depends causing unsightly panty lines under their white batiste caftans, you'll be the first blowfish Senate Majority Leader.

Sorry, blobfish. I should have said first blobfish Democratic Senate Majority Leader. But that's just as important!

I can only get on a plane if my emotional support blobfish is with me.

And see, r114, I told you angler fish sucked.

I am disgusted by this thread. Nobody should make fun of blobfish EVER! Blobfish are poor innocent creatures that should be able to take hormones to transition as soon as they hatch!

I had a molar extracted last night and I’m sore and swollen.

Blobfish, I feel your pain.

They take this species of fish out of its natural habitat and it dies, and its body, no longer contained in the extreme water pressure it normally lives is, looks distended and grotesque.

Then the people who made that happen make fun of the appearance of the fish.

Happy Sunday, world. What plans do you have with your blobfish?

IHOP, of course. That is, if the waitresses stop flirting with him long enough for me to get a stack.

No plans yet, blob wants to stay in. AGAIN.

Yesterday I took my blobfish to Saturday confession. He was in there a very long time.

Blobfish are why it won't stop snowing.

Fucking fat facer blobfish.

Well at least you'll know where he is tonight, r127.

Blump yet again, this thread encompasses all that is sick, smart and twisted on DL. What a bunch of whackos you are.

Underwear makes me uncomfortable. And besides, my blobfish have to breathe.

"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul."

From the moment I was six I felt sexy. And let me tell you it was hell, sheer hell, waiting to do something about it.

For me, warm feelings for the blobfish came with Ruthie Henshall's confession that she, too, loved a blobfish.

He slept a summer by your side, bitch.

What is worse, that he slept a summer by my side, or that he was gone when autumn came.

R137, Do you dream he comes to me, and we will live the years togethah?

I just want to be loved!

Blobfish don’t give a shit, OP.

It is worse that he was gone when Autumn came because this is exactly the time to be introduced to family.

Those that slept a summer by his side are no doubt infested with bedbugs and ladybugs and all sorts of things.

Blobfish? I don't know her.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Blobfish lives should matter to all fish. Erna knows this.

I am still undone by the number of Badfish.

You! You know who you are. Take your

Let this be a lesson to all of you.

R145 was killed in mid-sentence.

Killed, I saw it.

poor thing looks like Harvey Weinstein

I saw it too, it was as awful as you'd expect, who knew.

For the fish that didn't make it. Congrats on the deep sea . M

Gillian Anderson looks more like Marty Feldman every year.

....

....

Sometimes, R109... sometimes, you have to be a high-riding homewrecker to survive. Sometimes, being a homewrecker is all a blobfish has to hang onto.

The blobfish apologists on this thread disgust me. Blobfish are depraved and hateful and nobody should speak of them, ever.

I was a teenaged blobfish.

You know that scene in The Sound of Music where Leisl and Rolf are waltzing in the gazebo, and it's raining, and Rolf kisses Leisl and then she squeals because she's never been kissed before?

Well, Rolf was a blobfish THE WHOLE TIME, and Leisl got parasites of the mouth.

#crookedblobfish

My first blobfish was a shelter blobfish. I named her Bootsie Gumdrops.

McCain says blobfish unwelcome at funeral, though he would mind if someone tosses a few into the grave. He thinks they’d fertilize the shrubbery.

That blobfish has had work done. Trust.

The White House chef serves Trump Blowfish. He disguises them as McDonald’s Fillet-O-Fish sandwiches. Sometimes Trump likes to order off the dollar menu.

Blobfish sucked out of plane window

A blobfish is known to have walked on the moon before man. Well, with little gravity he was able to float along the surface of the moon. He got there after a blue whale inhaled him then sneezed, then flinging him into the outer atmosphere and landing on the moon. Secret operations in China brought him home where he was promptly made into Kung Pao Blobfish Moon Cakes.

R163, that. Never. Happened.

R164 Prove it!

I was the blobfish wrangler on a movie set long ago, and I can tell you that every one of them are drunks. They reeked of cheap gin and cigarettes and their only interest was in having more gin, more cigarettes and access to loose women. I thank that whale who spit one to the moon, I do.

They are adorable.🐋🐬🐟🐳🐙🐲🐡

Kimmel insults blobfish, who are suspect anyway, and Ted Cruz is still a dick:

“I know what you’re trying to do, Lying Ted. You’re trying to turn the fans against me because you say I made fun of the Rockets,” Kimmel said. “I did not make fun of the Rockets. I made fun of you pretending to be a fan of the Rockets — and for looking like a greasy blobfish while you did it.”

I just feel if you're gonna be a blobfish, be the best darn blobfish you can be.

We fostered blobfish for years and every one of those guys were an honor to have living with us. I don't know where r166 is getting his information but he's wrong and I object.

Ok, we did have an issue with oral parasites, but who doesn't. Just slurp them back up.

They're alot of fun. If you meet a Blobfish in a fez, he's probably a Shriner, and he will buy all the drinks.

Another dead blobfish poster. RIP, r170.

They sneak right up on you.

The Shriners are the most wicked.

That wounds, R173. Truly.

What’s all this nonsense I read about killer blobfish sneaking right up on you? Have you seen them? The have no legs. They have no arms. They’re most definitely aquatic. How, pray tell would one

ErmaGERD, ERMAGERD!

Someone call Jessica Fletcher!

I'm not Jessica, but I have a toothpick and this swatch of gingham, I can help.

Kim ordered a blobfish for lunch just to rattle Trump. It worked.

I won the "Donald Trump" lookalike contest! F*ck Me.

I didn't know their appearance was the result of decompression injuries. That's pretty sad.

Here's one before they pull them out of the high pressure environment of the deep sea. I think they have cute faces before they are destroyed by the pressure change.

Stuffed

A school of blobfish just swam up the Rio Grande to mock the detained refugees. Evil fish.

Blobfish discovered in flooded Thai cave whispering misleading directions to divers.

Two blobfish on Martha’s Vineyard invited Alan Dershowitz to their 4th of July party. Assholes.

Is that really all we have to say about the Blobfish?

Blump because this thread is golden.

Dear God you people are twisted. And I thank you.

Is blobfish white? I hate white blobfish.

I remember way back in the seventies, I was in a safe-yurt for lesbians by-the-sea, and it was my job to distract trespassing blobfish away from the ladies (many of whom had allergies, and could DIE,) and encourage them back to a depth that would aid their goddamn species AND protect the ladies, WHO ARE ALLERGEN TRIGGERED AND COULD DIE.

Well.

Wouldn't you know a group of these blobfish slipped past me one night and killed them all with one sprig of cilantro.

I can't talk about it. I can't. Too much pain. The authorities also found a stash of peanuts to finish them off, but it was not needed.

OP, since you've only been here a month I'm going to introduce you to a thread that gets little mention, but encompasses some of the best wit on the DL, and all the absurdity/silliness that kept me returning to this site. It's a diamond.

^^^ Link more like cubic zirconia.

R191 fires the bullet that ends me.

Well deserved. And now I die.

*pleh

So sorry, r191. But justice demands it.

The species in endangered because bottom trawlers frequently catch it, and it's killed by the pressure change when the nets are rapidly lifted.

Then the corpses are brought up and we make fun of the way they look.

Sure, I'll bump this.

They look sad

It is said that a huff of blobfish from a nasal spray will induce euphoria.

It is also said that Yoko Ono did exactly that, and became Yoko Ono.

And she sings like a duck.

Blobfish are little fuckers.

Take them out, buy them a nice meal, they pinch your nipples, grinning, and then WHAM. Gone. Gone into the night.

I'm fighting for my f***ing LIFE!

The Metropolitan Police have looked into these rumours of killer blobfish at the request of an unnamed, concerned member of the Royal Family, and we are happy to report there is nothing to these alarming rumours. Nothing at

r200? Another one dead.

To quote Parliament,

"Blobfish: They sneak right up on you. "

Who do I call to foster a blobfish?

Blumping this gem for those who missed it.

I went by that pic so fast when I was scrolling that I thought the fish was Harvey Weinstein.

Cindy, this blobfish I work with, sneaked all the leftover cake from the office birthday party out to her car before I even got a single slice.

Don't even get me started on her Lularoe and Young Living bullshit.

PINELLAS PARK, Fla. (WFTS/CNN) - A Blobfish was arrested at school, accused of showing up to work drunk.

Police arrested the Blobfish after they say it showed up to work at Skyview Elementary drunk and slurring its speech. (Source: WFTS, PCSO via CNN)

Blobfish was fired after only seven days on the job, and now it’s facing criminal charges.

“When you make that decision in the line of work you are in, that’s an automatic fire and not rehire,” said Brandi Parker, a mom of seven, who suffers from fibromyalgia.

Parker found out after the district called. Her daughter is a second-grader at Skyview Elementary in Pinellas Park and is allergic to peanuts.

“Some fish don’t have [good] backgrounds and they take a wrong turn in life. Do I blame the school? Absolutely not,” Parker said.

According to arrest records, Blob was loud and belligerent in front of the children.

“Some bloodshot, watery eyes, slurring of the words. There was some rocking back and forth, stumbling,” said Sgt. Roxanne Pohl with Pinellas Park Police Department.

“I did ask it to lower its voice. I attempted to explain that there were students in the school, that we wish they were not interrupted,” Pohl said.

She said at one point the Blobfish tried to get in a car and leave.

“I was shocked. I was shocked. Disappointed,” Pohl said. “Here is someone we expect to come to school ready to teach and unfortunately that’s not what happened this morning.”

Blobfish faces a disorderly conduct charge and possibly more. Pohl said officers also found marijuana in Blobfish’s car.

That blobfish... was me.

There should be a Johnny Cash song for incarcerated blobfish.

Edna St. Vincent Millay, upon her Lover, a Blobfish:

“When I too long have looked upon your face,

Wherein for me a brightness unobscured

Save by the mists of brightness has its place,

And terrible beauty not to be endured,

I turn away reluctant from your light,

And stand irresolute, a mind undone,

A silly, dazzled thing deprived of sight

From having looked too long upon the sun.

Then is my daily life a narrow room

In which a little while, uncertainly,

Surrounded by impenetrable gloom,

Among familiar things grown strange to me

Making my way, I pause, and feel, and hark,

Till I become accustomed to the dark.”

Right, and then Edna goes screaming from the room.

Demi Moore opened up about battling alcohol addiction in her new book, “Inside Out.”

Now, Moore’s daughters are speaking up about their own experiences with their mom’s struggles over the years. Rumer and Tallulah Willis joined their mom on an upcoming episode of Jada Pinkett Smith’s “Red Table Talk” to discuss, among other topics, her sobriety slip.

“It was like the sun went down and, like, a Blobfish came,” Tallulah says in the clip, first shared by People.

“I remember there’s just the anxiety that would come up in my body when I could sense that her eyes were shutting a little bit more, the way she was speaking,” she added. “Or she would be a lot more affectionate with me if she wasn’t sober.”

Rumer described the experience as “jarring,” while Tallulah continued to described how her mom became almost Blobfish like.

Nom de Blobfish ç'est Ted Cruz.

“I try so hard, please don’t me be understood.”

Fully vetted, Nina Simone was aquitted of being a Blobfish in disguise and here, forthwith, is the evidence against her.

NO, Nina, NO, don’t be giving me those sorrowful notes. Fuck you, Nina, Fuck you.

Blobfish took a leak on the Christmas Moose at a fancy NYC cocktail party.

I was so embarrassed.

I did that only because Barbara Feldon gave me five dollars and her room key, r215.

Resembles Walter Matthau.

R216, well, you are all terribly, terribly wrong! His “I ❤️ NY” sash is ruined! It was kinda old anyway, though, so you get a discount on umbrage.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Report: Tom Brady Deflates a Blobfish at New Home in Greenwich, Connecticut By Patrick Dunne November 02, 2019 11:45 AM

🔊 Subscribe | Apple | Spotify

Tom Brady has deflated a Blobfish at his new home, a seven-bedroom, 14,862-square foot home in Greenwich, Connecticut.

According to Homes of the Rich, Brady and his wife, Gisele Bundchen, deflated the Blobfish in the stone mansion, built in 1990, that sits on 10 acres of land in the tony suburb that borders New York state.

One rumor, via a Greenwich realtor, is that the home was once owned by The Incredible Miister Limpet.

In terms of square footage and acreage, it's an upgrade from their previous home in Brookline, Massachusetts.

Brady is quoted on his acquisition, "you gotta make the plays, and besides, I hate Blobfish. Stupid goddamn blobfish.”

"Everyone's trying to make money, and that's what it's about," the 42-year-old six-time Super Bowl champion told reporters last Friday.

As for his new home, in addition to the seven bedrooms, Homes of the Rich says it has eight full and four half bathrooms, a two-story foyer with a staircase, a two-story great room, a formal dining room, gourmet kitchen, breakfast room, family room, gym, indoor pool, three-car garage, and a room dedicated to the deflation of life aquatic.

“Fuck ‘em,” said Brady, as he threw a deflated Blobfish 100 yards and through the goal post.

Tom Hardy har har, R220.

I saw one yesterday sliming down the Garden State Parkway. It was on the shoulder, but still, I was sure someone would make road sushi out of the bastard.

My Uber driver might have been one.

They sneak right up on y

Ah God I saw that, did you see that? R224, R.I.P. you poor bastard.

SMH. They sneak right up on you.

They sneak right up on you.

They sneak right up on you.

Blobfish is a bad egg.

Blobfish is no BILL TAYLOR.

It was many and many a year ago,

In a kingdom by the sea,

That a master there lived whom you may know

By the name of Blobby MaGee.

And this master he lived with no other thought

Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and he was a child,

In this kingdom by the sea,

But we loved with a love that was more than love

I and my Blobbyfishee,

With a love that the wingèd seraphs of Heaven

Coveted he and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,

In this kingdom by the sea,

A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling

My beautiful Blobby MaGee.

So that his highborn kinsmen came

And bore his away from me,

To shut Blob up in a sepulchre

In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,

Went envying him and me—

Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know, In this kingdom by the sea)

That the wind came out of the cloud by night, Chilling and killing my Blobby MaGee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love

Of those who were older than we—

Of many far wiser than we—

And neither the angels in Heaven above

Nor the demons down under the sea

Can ever dissever my soul from the soul

Of the beautiful Blobfish MaGee.

For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams Of the beautiful Blobby MaGee.

And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes Of the beautiful Blobfish MaGee.

And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side

Of my darling—my darling—my life, at my side,

In his sepulchre there by the sea—

In his tomb by the sounding sea.

You loved with a love that was more than love, you and Blobbyfishee.

I’m sensing notes of Dolly Parton and Jolene, here, hmm.

R230 IS Jolene! I’m begging you blobby don’t take my man.

Yes, wax on. They’re still murderers.

Looks like my last taxi driver. Probably in disguise.

. . . fish.

I don’t know, r230. “Blandy,” by Looking Glass has a similar pathos and a far more effective hook.

“At night, when the bars close down

Blobfish floats through a silent town

And loves a man who's not around

he still can hear him say

He hears him say, "Blobfish, you're a fine man, (you're a fine man)

"What a good fish you would be" (such a fine fish.)

"But my life, my lover, my blobfish, is the sea"

I mean, what does this even mean.

Blobfish is getting the heave-ho when it makes no sense.

People are cruel, r237.

For crying out loud, they are not mu

Oh my god, there goes another one.

Hark, r240.

Are you responding to the Latin/Greek “mu” at r239?

My understanding is that a “Mu” is Latin/Greek and may be unattractive to the Blobfish, who is a racist and a murderer, quite likely, as well.

This should not be confused with the Cow moo. The Cow moo, spelled Moo, is always beautiful, pasteural and welcomed. See *Melrose for further info.

Blobfish murderers are not attracted to bovines, chickens, hens or pigs. Or mice, LaFitte. Or sheep, either, Sheridan. Still, Titus the barn owl is most definitely screwed.

Don’t be obtuse, r241.

R240 is right: dead. They’re all dead.

We’re gonna need a bigger boat.

Your points are as diamonds, R241, and clarity commands them. Still, for the sake of those who value your services as I do, I must implore you to conduct yourself with circumspection, lest you incur the wrath of the Unnameable Ones who survey this thread.

Yes of course, r243. Noted.

Ooo it’s all so mysterious. Oh shut up, me! Yes, quite right.

They must have human accomplices. Right?

It’s the Olsen sisters, r245, it’s been them all along. I never did trust them.

I don’t allow blobfish in my house. One showed up unannounced one time. What a scene.

I’m going to sleep under a weighted blanket. Blobfish can’t lift ‘em.

Did he take off his shoes before he entered, R247?

R249, I didn’t let him him. I wouldn’t even shake his fin. Who shows up without an invitation? Blobfish, that’s who.

Sneaky bastards.

R250, some of your post can be interchanged with Miss Dolly Parton’s “Jolene.”

“I didn’t even let him in. I wouldn’t even shake his fin. Who shows up without invitation, Jolene.”

If Dolly took off her shoes in my house I would wax and bronze them.

Agreed, r253.

Word to the wise: If you get up in the middle of the night to pee, and find a trail of slime going into the bathroom, don’t lift the toilet lid. Pee in the sink.

Strangest thing. My Aunt Bev was planning a Blobfish Fillet Thanksgiving. Couldn’t stop talking about it. You know, how they have to keep the Blobfish alive and under pressure until just before you do the bodywork. Rubber aprons, heavy mallets, yadda yadda yadda. So we’re sort of curious and, to be honest, I’m not all that fond of turkey. We decide to go. So, we pull up to the house in Scranton and—nobody home. Dark. Dead silence. Weird, right?

So Blobfish Fillet Thanksgiving became Denny’s Thanksgiving. Oh well.

Did you catch the Blobfish Preservation Society ad during the Super Bowl? I’d like to know who us paying for that. Putin? Al Qaeda?

Yeah no, that was me, r257.