That Fixer Upper Show -- Chip and Joanna Gaines

And how she puts up with that immature man-child husband of her's I'll never understand.

Agree!

I can't stand their phony act. She seems like a cold-hearted shrewish manipulator posing as a kind-hearted down-home lady while he is a pussy-whipped moron. I picture Joanna leading Chip around by a ring in his nose, like a big dumb bull.

I read about the free shack one couple got which was redone by these two and was immediately turned into a >$300 a night air b&b and is now for sale for almost $1M.

Who the fuck would pay even $30 to stay in Waco?

I watched it once and could barely make it through the episode. She seems tolerable but he's awful.

Yeah, here it is.

And whats the big draw of Waco? The Branch Davidian site? The site of the 2015 biker shootout?

I realize nobody in their right mind would live in Waco, but I find it disturbing they've NEVER had a gay person on the show, either as a client or a supplier or anything. Fucking fundies.

they now have a heart-warming feel-good episode featuring Tim Tebow.

I will confess that my inner teen-age girl daydreams of shacking up with that slab of beef in a freshly renovated Texas home. Full cowgirl, as they say.

Are they quitting their show?

Just based on the dynamic the happy couple project on TV, I would bet any money that every few months Joanna takes her strap-on out of a locked drawer and mercilessly fucks Chip in the ass with it. It also wouldn't surprise me in the least if he regularly wears women's panties under his work clothes. I'm not saying this to be snarky—I genuinely believe it.

Your comment made me laugh, R10. I wouldn't put it past them - they're fundies, after all. I can't see it myself, largely because they both lack sexual allure. What I definitely don't believe: Chip's smitten-with-my-wife crap. It seems more like schtick that's meant to appeal to a certain demographic. But I do think Joanna seems like an overly controlling, rigid person. Chip doesn't strike me as any less controlling, just more laid back.

They said they are not going to do it anymore because they want to concentrate on their family (Joanna is preggers with baby #5) but that is not really true. After Rachel Ray blew the fuck up - Scripps who owns both Food Network and HGTV - decided to change their contracts. Ray was uber popular on Food but she got her magazine, cookware and eventually her own Daytime Network show with Scripps not getting any piece of that pie. So the new contracts would mean if a talent blows up, scripps gets a piece of everything. So all that furniture, paint, magazine etc - scripps is getting a part of that money. So Chip and Jojo decided to quit. More than likely they are ending their contract - let Jojo have the baby and will renegotiate a better deal for themselves. Chip is already being sued by his former partners who he screwed out of all the money.

She looks like she should be squatting barefoot on a dirt floor inside a teepee stirring a big iron pot over an open fire. He looks like he should be standing at the curb waiting on a bus to take him to an adult day care center.

Oooh more details on the lawsuit, please R12

It is not a secret. He wrote a letter two his two partners saying the rehab business they formed looked like it was not going to work out and offered to buy them out. They took it since Chip was the guy with the knowledge. This was while he was in negotiations to do Fixer Upper. The two alledge Chip knew the show was going to be greenlighted and the business would take off and he lied saying the business was failing to get them to sell out for cheap.

They are a mis-matched couple. Joanna is sophisticated, humorless and cold. Chip is a doofus, cornball hick. She always appears to be gritting her teeth at his childish antics--like she can barely stand him. Someone has to do all that work though. Joanna swans around like the Queen of Sheba, ordering Chip to do back breaking physical labor. He's not so young anymore. Can't blame him for wanting to call it quits on those large scale rehabs and just rake in the money on their "lifestyle" brand.

It's the same show over and over.Big clocks. shiplap, distressed furniture,sliding barn door.Paint it all white and Chip falls down the stairs .And say y'all this and y'all that and y'all over there too.

They never had a gay couple on their show and they barely featured single people. Their show is truly right wing central.

Alledge, r15?

That's a new one for me.

He seems like a drunk.

Every house she does has the same decor as every TGI Friday's restaurant. No, I don't want old signs and license plates on shed-like walls!

I hate when they call the couples "guys"....."Okay, guys, are you ready to see your NEW HOME???"

They must instruct the couples not to say "Oh my GOD" when they are seeing the reveal...every room they step into, it's "oh my GOSH!!" I don't know any adult who says that when excited. Well, maybe if they go to fundie, homophobic mega churches...

“And seriously, how big can Waco be to have all these remodel jobs?“

Waco is actually fairly sizable. Not big city like Dallas or Houston, but 200000ish. Plus, 5 small towns abut Waco: Bellmead, Beverly Hills, Lacy-Lakeview, Woodway, and Hewitt. Then there are several towns (I would guess about 10 or so) within 10-20 minute drives from Waco; all of which are about 1000+/- populations.

Combine all of that with a growing economy in the area and many retirees moving there for affordable living, and you have a lot of potential homes.

I don't think Chip is worse than Vivian Howard's jackass of a husband over on A CHEF'S LIFE! Those two are both annoying as all get out.

R23: several of those towns would make great drag names!

Belle Meade

Beverly Hills

Lacy Lakeview

In younger years, his ass is the type you'd tongue with wild abandon........

agreed that she's cold and basic. But he's actually funny if you watch it long enough.

Joanna’s woodworking friend isn’t gay? I assumed he was. He pings for me.

Those two are Christians only as long as being one helps them get attention and income. In other words they're typical religious con artists.

r19 fuck you - you try getting the spelling right on a cell phone while driving.

Chip and Joanna were called out for being anit- gay. They go to a church where the pastor is rabidly anit-gay and includes it in his sermons. TBH if you were a gay couple would you want to be on TV in Waco Texas?

The show is cringe but Joanna seems like an EXCELLENT mother and chip seems like a great father.

r32 you can't judge their parenting from seeing 5 minutes of it on TV. If they take the kids to that church they are raising little hate mongers.

I think WACO is a big sports ball town. Maybe people who come for The Big Game would pay $300. Maybe people who love these giant clock hanging, random phrase painting shiplappers would pay $300. Maybe not.

I hate Chip with a passion. He thinks he is ALL THAT.

They both seem like decent enough people. Joanna is mostly basic bitch but a little better than that and Chip is actually funny a lot of the tiem.

^

time

He cheated his friends, nothing more needs to be said......

r38 not just cheated, lied to them to purposely screw them out of potentially millions of dollars.

"She has proven to be a one trick pony."

And, OP, Chip has proven to be a one-prick phony.

Her style is so dated but I guess sophisticated for Waco

It’s so painfully middle class. For the life of me, I cannot grasp paying for this shabby DIY style crap- chalk paint and scrawled sayings and barn doors. The WHOLE point of that “aesthetic” is that anyone can achieve the look cheap and easy.

Are we to believe that the target demographic for Magnolia clocks is capable of telling time in....whatever them foreign-looking numbers are. Wait. Are those even numbers? Don't some of them look like letters? They ain't just a decoration clock, are they?

They are the Paula Deen of interior design.

R43, I think it's some fancy shmancy bomb.

Dear Lord in heaven! How did I miss Clock Boy sneaking back into Texas?!?

None of the furniture, wall art, decorative items and knick-knacks are included in the price. So items brought into the home, except for light fixtures and any pieces the buyers provided, are not included in the price of the project. They are all removed from the home after the show because they are just for show. Unless the buyers want to purchase any of the furniture or decorative items from them anything that isn't nailed down, so to speak, is removed from the house. The price of the remodel only includes the actual remodel and upgrades.

I was stuck in the doctor's waiting room while this was one, not long ago. I'm generally a pretty nice guy, but I wanted to take a shovel to both of them by the time the nurse showed me in to the examination room.

I was in Dallas a few weeks ago for work. We went down to Waco to see it for ourselves. The best part? All this country crap god bless the USA heartland shite? Is all made in China and India. Every piece I looked at or picked up, made in china, made in india.. and cheap. Cheaply made crap they are way over charging for because it is MAGNOLIA..

I think Chip was attractive with his long hair and scruffy look. I'm embarrassed to admit, but it is really the only reason I watched their stupid show three times!

I like the big bear husband on Home Town a lot better

Haven't caught that show R51. Perhaps I'm not the only one though just tuning into these "design" shows for the eye candy!

You're not the only one. My Christopher Lowell video cassettes have been getting a workout lately.

Hometown treds in the same territory as Fixer Upper without being nearly as annoying

The hate church they belong to and attend regularly has a hate preacher who often talks about how homosexuality can be cured and is a sin.

cant stand her

he is fine

she fake as fritters

What I don't understand is spending insane amounts of money to fix up a shack when the other houses on the street are equally shacky. The camera angles are pretty tight but sometimes you can see more of the street and it's chain link fences and peeling paint. It doesn't look like a neighborhood that's gentrifying anytime soon.

R57 some of their customers had to move out of their remodeled homes because they found the neighborhoods to dangerous to live in.

LOL.

I resent that fact those 2 fundies don't any credit to their support staff and crew. Not once does Joanna bring anyone into the show and say "thanks Susie! I could NOT have done it with you!" And are we to believe that Chip and Shorty do all the demo themselves? On every project? Re: their restaurant. Joanna doesn't know squat about restaurant and kitchen design. The only person she brought in was some low end manager from The Silos. Restaurant and commercial kitchen design is a science and skill. And WTF! with Clint and Jimmy John? Does the homeowner keep that crap they make? What about the mechanics of the house? Not once do they mention any smart home technology. HVAC? Unless it's part of the "drama" of that episode, they rarely address anything more important to them than shiplap. And YES! Everything they sell at the Silos is made in China. God bless America! TY for your service! They were also fined by the EPA for improperly disposing of lead paint. Anti-gay for sure. Definitely Trumpsters We just haven't found out the real dirt yet. It's all a sham.

On the upside, doing a shot every time someone says 'shiplap' can make the show a lot more fun.

SHYSTERS! I've watched that show just a handful of times, and each time when the big reveal occurred, I said to myself "I'd be so pissed of they took all my money and THIS is what I get in return!" Little return for investment. Too much of that budget went right into their pockets!

SHYSTERS!

R61 yes if you’re a middle aged drunk like Andy Cohen

They treated the anti-gay charge as a joke, took months to issue a statement about, which didn't really deny it. They've still never had a gay couple on? They know their fan-base couldn't care less. Their theme song is by Johnnyswim, Donna Summer's daughter's band.

A gay couple doesn’t want to announce to the world through a TV show that they live in Waco. They’re smart enough to keep quiet and only refer to each other as “roommate”

Waco is a college town. You can hook up all that Baylor dick

R60 She has another spinoff show currently running. It's called Fixer Upper: Behind the design. They show how her team helps her design the homes

I keep going back to the second part of your question OP: how many homes are there in Waco, Texas that need to be fixed up?

It seems like the kind of town where the majority of the housing stock would be postwar, and it's not that big a city either. I'm surprised they didn't have them branch out to Dallas or Austin, which are both just a few hours away.

Waco is a fundie town with a lot of very religious people (the university courts their children). It's a decent size and surrounded on all sides with empty desolate plains so there is nowhere to go unless you want to drive to Austin or Dallas. There is a Starbucks offish the interstate that has a good restroom if you are driving through. The Red Lobster is the epitome of fine dining. If you don't have a family you are unusual there.

Their ugly crap is not selling at Target. I guess the fundies turning against them really did hurt their business. The fundies hate target for bathrooms or some such idiotic BS and therefore nobody dumb enough to buy their crap is in Target. Ironic since Chip and Joanna are huge homophobes who support anti-gay churches and charities. And loudly proclaim their right to do so. Which HGTV doesn't give a shit about of course.

My sister loves their show. She is a Frau. And she even is going to Waco just to visit their store.

Seriously, R62, it took me a minute to realize that you weren't doing a Liza parody post where she's talking about her relationship with Lorna...

Unfortunately I spent a few years in Waco, and my husband spend the latter part of his teens there. In the past ten years the town has really been revitalized. It was on the up-and-up already, but this is in large part thanks to Fixer Upper. It certainly expedited things.

Waco is a small town, but there are also little suburbs around it. It seems like a lot of the houses they choose are there. Before Fixer Upper, it wasn’t like there was a ton of nice real estate in Waco. My in-laws sold their house there 10-11 years ago. Their house was worth around $800,000 which was a little unheard of for Waco. There weren’t many buyers then looking for a house in that price range. They eventually sold it for a new sports coach that had just gotten a big deal with Baylor.

The town seems very divided on whether it is a good or a bad thing. Personally, when your only other claim to fame is a cult leader and an FBI shootout I think even if you don’t like the Gaines (which I don’t), you should still be a little grateful that it took away some of the stigma of that reputation. It is insane that it is a tourist destination now and I’ve met many people who came from out of state just to visit it. Totally not worth it.

I worked at a little home and decor store in Dallas during graduate school and we used some of the same vendors that supplied to Magnolia. All of their less important orders (i.e., this little store) would be delayed so that they could fulfill the orders for Magnolia. It was all crap from China, and not anything that is unique to their store at all. Not to mention that they marked it up WAY more at the silos than other places that sell the same stuff. You used to be able to find antiques in Waco for way less than they would be selling in Dallas, but those days are gone. Last time I passed through it seems like all of the antique stores had raised their prices just becaue of the Fixer Upper/Waco association. And all of it was covered in chalk paint, of course.

Come on, R72. You should know that if it were a Liza parody, then it would have read like so:

SHYSTERSH! I've watched that show jusht a handful of timesh, and each time when the big reveal occurred, I shaid to myshelf "I'd be sho pisshed if they took all my money and THISH is what I get in return!" Little return for inveshtment. Too much of that budget went right into their pocketsh!

SHYSTERSH!

What is Joanna’s ethnic background? She appears a little ... more exotic ... than her white bread husband and white bread Texas neighbors. I wonder if she gets hassled by Texans when the cameras aren’t around.

Her words: “What is your ethnicity?”

I love hearing all the guesses- Although I did play Pocahontas in high school, I am not Native American. My father is half Lebanese/half German and my mother is full Korean.

Thanks R76. She’s quite beautiful. And she has gorgeous hair.

Oh, now I’m remembering scenes with the Korean grandmother....

Apparently chip is a mean drunk.

Thanks R73-- appreciate the history lesson and explanation of Waco. Would not have guessed the Gaines' would have had that big an impact, but it does make sense.

The kids are cute but come across to me as a bit uptight and hyper-alert. I don't know if that's because of the cameras all around them or because J & C are overly strict in their parenting style. Or a combination of both.

The other thing is that the buyers do not get to keep anything brought into the home unless it was an item or piece of furniture they already had that was re-purposed by Clint or whatever. They charge an additional cost above the renovation costs and upgrades for the contents of the house. I am sure they are hard workers but they sure seem kind of greedy to me.

Anyway, I stopped watching their show because they are homophobes who support Trump.

Yes, it's just staging. I read that one couple purchased a few pieces of furniture, they have that option. But all the tchotchkes, ugh, so impersonal.

The staging isn’t all that interesting. I guess that the big clocks and vintage signs are relatively unique but most of it looks like Pottery Barn to me.

The current trend of open shelving in kitchens grosses me out. You gotta keep your clean dishes and utensils behind a closed cabinet door or in a closed drawer so that they don’t get greasy or dusty from exposure to everyday kitchen activities.

Glad I could provide some context R80. Baylor has really exploded over the past twenty years, which in turn has helped Waco.

Robert Griffin won the Heisman trophy in 2011 and a lot of donor money was coming in when their football team was doing well for a hot minute. A big- time donor pledged a bunch of money for a huge new football stadium (provided that the university let him put his name on it) and more alumni started coming back to attend games which spurred on more development.

Two years later in 2013, Fixer Upper premiered and things in Waco started to get even crazier. In 2015, Baylor took a HUGE hit when the mishandling of sexual assault allegations came to light (thanks in large part to the good-old-boys-club Baylor board which continued to mishandle the situation), but the Fixer Upper craze had already started, and now it is what it is today.

If you read up on the lawsuit against Chip that someone else mentioned earlier, you will think even less of them. It’s super sketchy.

I guess while I’m giving a history lesson, I should include that things at the school started improve in the late 90s/early 2000s because they cut ties and stopped accepting money from the Baptists. They built a huge new science building, started teaching evolution, and started pushing to gain respect as a university instead of simply being a hub for all the southern baptists of the world.

I am watching an episode now with a HOT bachelor who is moving from NY to Waco, TX (Why?!!!). Anyway, he is single and PINGS (He will probably dash back to NY after a year in Waco). Season 3, Episode 11: The Most Eligible Bachelor Finds the Perfect Home for Entertaining

I read an article about a couple who had Chip and Joanna doe their house. They said they hardly ever interacted with them at all. What you see them doing on TV is pretty much the limit of their involvement in the project.

^ I heard that also. They do not interact.

I also heard Joanna is very quiet and doesn't talk much when the cameras aren't rolling and when they aren't filming. They were both described as "unfriendly and not personable."

Speaking of Joanna, she had a baby boy last month, their 5th child. They named him Crew.

The Gaines are America's Sweethearts. The Today Show can't get enough of them.

Joanna seems phony to me. "That door looks like fun". "That pot looks like fun". Ugh. Also, she seems annoyed with Chip most of the time.

Chip seems like a 40 year old kid who needs to grow up.

The wood furniture and accents are usually ugly. Maybe all that wood is a Waco, TX thing.

This show is for people who has no taste and don't know shit about anything.

Have the Gaines replaced the Duggars as The Today Show's xtian frau magnets?

Chip's cheating but that sorta makes him slightly hotter to me. I like Joanna's little carpenter friend.

I was OK with them until I realized they were anti-gay cunts.

I'm sure big Ben over at Home Town is, too, and then I'll have to write them off, too.

Meanwhile, I want to see Eric Bennett, the sexy ginger on the Palm Springs flip show, and his big ginger dong.

^ How do you know Chip is cheating? And who is he cheating with?

Those rumors have been around forever, and you can just tell Chip is one of those fundies who expects a submissive wife but visits his blond Belle Watling type out near the interstate

[quote] They must instruct the couples not to say "Oh my GOD" when they are seeing the reveal...every room they step into, it's "oh my GOSH!!" I don't know any adult who says that when excited.

To be fair, I don't think that's a Gaines thing, I think that is largely an HGTV thing, because I notice that on so many other HGTV shows, too.

I think "oh my God" has slipped by maybe half a dozen times.

I do get that it's an overused saying, and that many of us would sound super repetitive on TV with our everyday speech. But still, what they say is clearly coached.....y'all.

R17 "Then Chip falls down the stairs". I laughed for 5 minutes over that. Jerry Lewis immediately came to mind and that made me laugh even harder. Good One! W&W.

[quote] I'm sure big Ben over at Home Town is, too, and then I'll have to write them off, too.

Big Ben and Missus know which side their bread is buttered:

Hello, she's had 5 kids. Her vag must be loose as fuck and big as a canon. He's definitely cheating...

Jada Pinkett Smith said she had to go get her pussy tightened and she's only had 2 kids.

R98 WHERE IS THAT PHOTO FROM????

Ben looks so hot there....but he's way bigger now.....he's got more of a gut. (And yet, still sexy.)

For you only, R100:

sexy? you must be a self hating gay, He is anti gay honey! Fuck this cunt! and his shitty show

R98 Thank you!

Wow, I know a few of my friends who will burst into flames as soon as they see that photo.

Didn't Ben recently send a another shirtless pic to some bear site?

I like Mark Bowe of [italic]Barnwood Builders.[/italic]

[quote] Didn't Ben recently send a another shirtless pic to some bear site?

I need to know!

Me too!

Poor JoAnna. She’s stuck searching the wasteland of Texas for ugly giant clocks and ugly signs with inane sayings (“Home is Home!”) while Chip is getting his dick wet out by the interstate.

Maybe that little carpenter guy is eating her out in the tool shed.

r104 WTF? I missed that. He's hot as hell.

I liked the Masters of Flip couple, Dave & Kourtney, but her stuff has gone over the top lately.

I'd love BTS gossip on either of them. I sense Kourtney could be an uber-bitch IRL.

Oh r53, I miss Christopher Lowell so much. He put the gay back into decorating. I lost a bit of faith in him when he announced to the world that he was straight, but he won my ❤️ anyway.

I bought a comforter and sheet sets of his at Burlington Coat Factory years ago and they were well made and beautiful.

I like David Bromstad from My Lottery Dream Home. He is gay and fun to watch. He also has a lot of gay guests. I just wish he did flips also because finding a new home for lottery winners is not enough.

I can't stop looking at that photo of Ben.

He is a hot mountain of a man.

That big clock look and homey signs was in style over 10 years ago, along with the distressed white chalk paint. It was the cheaper, more homogenized follow up to the shabby chic look. Used to be buyer for a furniture store and I couldn’t keep that shitty stuff in stock. But this was a long time ago. Did Joanna just get the memo? She’s no decorator

Honestly, I am beginning to doubt ANY of them really do the design.

I think HGTV and/or its corporate partners tell them what to pick.

You know Jonathan "Mary" Scott couldn't renovate a house to save her life. It might mess up her hair.

Ugh. I just downloaded a season of Bargain Mansions on DIY. Stupid blonde bitch doesn't know shit about design or architecture. "I'm here at my 1892 Craftsman that we're exposing all the brick to give a sense of urban chic!". No. The goddamn house is Second Empire Victorian with a mansard roof, you twat. Craftsman style was yet to happen. Give it another 20 years, at least in the US. Why does everyone have a hard on for exposed brick? Anyone from that era would roll over in their graves from seeing raw building material exposed. I will hate watch the rest of these episodes because I stupidly bought it on ITunes and it was recommended. Chip and Joanna are light years better than this bitch.

I wonder how they will handle it when they realize their youngest son (not the newborn) is gay.

exposed brick is very new york.

R115, maybe you should get in the biz, if you are not already? I am not being facetious, I am serious. You seem to know a lot more than the current pros on tv.

SHITLAP

Y'ALL

Joanna has a thing for rusty old wall clocks that don't tell the time.

The woodworker, Clint, is hot imo.

Chip looks like he doesn't bathe and has a dirty crack.

Chip looks like all his tighty whities have worn, snapped elastic bands and severe skidmarks.

Don't forget the urine stains.

They named the new crotch dropping Crew?

Joanna, blink twice and twitch thrice if you want to escape!

I can't stand Fixer Upper. Something about her doesn't ring true and her husband is a ridiculous asshole. Sometimes I tune in at the end to see the results. The results are attractive but the homes all look the same with galvanized steel, muted beiges and grey, ship-lap, and other features she relentlessly employs.

Clint has his on show on the DYI channel. It's even more innocuous and cloying than fixer upper. It's a very....white christian vibe. But I think the DYI channel caters to the Trump Voters.

Get rid of the popcorn ceiling.