I'm the murderer making a self-incriminating confession before all the other suspects, prompted simply by Poirot figuring out how I did it, even though he does not have a shred of actual evidence that could prove I did it. But it's such a relief to be unburdened at last!
Let's be an episode of "Poirot"
|by Anonymous||reply 95||Last Monday at 5:52 AM|
I'm mincing. And figure wagging, sighing, flower in buttonhole gayness. But I'm not gay, just Belgian.
|by Anonymous||reply 1||06/04/2017|
[quote] I'm the murderer making a self-incriminating confession before all the other suspects, prompted simply by Poirot figuring out how I did it, even though he does not have a shred of actual evidence that could prove I did it.
You're also every episode of "Murder, She Wrote." Just replace Poirot with Jessica Fletcher.
|by Anonymous||reply 2||06/04/2017|
I am NOT French, I am Belgian!
|by Anonymous||reply 3||06/04/2017|
I'm the handsome man who must be guilty because all the other suspects are unattractive.
|by Anonymous||reply 4||06/04/2017|
I am Poirot's moustache. I am his most loyal companion. His human companions come and go (Colonel Hastings, Miss Lemon, Chief Inspector Japp, George, or Ariadne Oliver) but I remain firmly and well maintained with him to the end.
|by Anonymous||reply 5||06/04/2017|
I'm the beautiful, well-maintained art deco building used to set the time and place. I'm gorgeous, but you'll see me no less than seven times throughout the series.
|by Anonymous||reply 6||06/04/2017|
I'm creme de menthe!
|by Anonymous||reply 7||06/04/2017|
I'm the faggot Poirot is allergic to when it's being offered to him by Inspector Japp.
|by Anonymous||reply 8||06/04/2017|
I'm the familiar-looking actor. Where have you seen me before? Was it an episode of Doctor Who? Or Downton Abbey? Maybe it was Broadchurch? Or that show with that guy from League of Gentlemen...shit, what was the name of that show?
|by Anonymous||reply 9||06/04/2017|
I'm Miss Lemon's pussy. I don't stink, and my pubic hair is styled to match the hair on her head.
|by Anonymous||reply 10||06/04/2017|
I'm the wealthy demanding American widow, I demand to be let off this ship at once!
|by Anonymous||reply 11||06/04/2017|
I'm the complicated poison conveniently available because of elaborate plot reasons.
|by Anonymous||reply 12||06/04/2017|
I'm the knickknacks Poirot rearranges.
|by Anonymous||reply 13||06/07/2017|
I'm the two perfectly equal soft boiled eggs resting in egg cups on M Poirot's breakfast table.
|by Anonymous||reply 14||06/07/2017|
I am the dishes that Hastings washes and hands to Poirot for drying - including the inadequately washed ones that Poirot hands back several times.
|by Anonymous||reply 15||06/07/2017|
I'm the tacky, overproduced seasons 9 through the series's end.
I lack all the charm of the earlier episodes.
|by Anonymous||reply 16||06/07/2017|
I am Poirot's completely unnecessary, but totally fashionable, walking stick.
|by Anonymous||reply 17||06/07/2017|
I am the pencil moustache that makes the face look really stupid.
|by Anonymous||reply 18||06/07/2017|
I'm gay porn, added to the original story by the screenwriter.
|by Anonymous||reply 19||06/07/2017|
I'm the brilliant filing system devised by Miss Lemon. When Felicity Lemon and Hastings disappear from the show the office I currently occupy will become the hiding place for Poirot's well maintained dildo collection..
|by Anonymous||reply 20||03/04/2018|
I’m the coin stuck in David Suchet’s buttom when he learns how Poirot walks.
|by Anonymous||reply 21||03/04/2018|
I'm Milo Perrier.
|by Anonymous||reply 22||03/04/2018|
I'm Hastings' hat
|by Anonymous||reply 23||03/04/2018|
I'm Miss Lemon's immaculately trimmed bush
|by Anonymous||reply 24||08/20/2018|
r24, see r10
|by Anonymous||reply 25||08/20/2018|
I’m the wince each time Poirot is called Hercules.
|by Anonymous||reply 26||08/20/2018|
I’m his current companion. You may call me “mon ami.”
|by Anonymous||reply 27||08/20/2018|
Je suis [italic]le mal de mer[/italic], Hercule Poirot's unconquerable foe and menace.
|by Anonymous||reply 28||08/20/2018|
I am the six Art Deco buildings in the UK.
I am all they have.
They keep filming me because, well, really.
|by Anonymous||reply 29||08/20/2018|
I'm a mincing prisspot. If Hercule Poirot weren't eccentric and Belgian, you'd call him one, too.
|by Anonymous||reply 30||08/20/2018|
Poirot is not a mincing prisspot. He’s a Belgian cream puff.
|by Anonymous||reply 31||08/20/2018|
I’m Philip Jackson, portrayer of Inspector Japp. You may recognize me as the “wrench wielding bad guy” from A-Ha’s video of “Take on Me”.
|by Anonymous||reply 32||08/20/2018|
I'm Inspector Jaap's wife. I'm hiding in the same plot closet as Mrs Colombo, Maris Crane and Stanley Walker
|by Anonymous||reply 33||08/20/2018|
I am an oscar nominated actor/actress who started here in a minor role and it took some time so I appear more than once.
|by Anonymous||reply 34||08/20/2018|
R7! It is the Sirop de Cassis!
|by Anonymous||reply 35||08/20/2018|
I am the little gray cells.
|by Anonymous||reply 36||08/20/2018|
I am the tisane, served in Poirot’s favorite cup.
|by Anonymous||reply 37||08/20/2018|
I'm the one, single modernist mansion in England. Every episode shows me at a different angle because we think the audience won't notice.
|by Anonymous||reply 38||08/20/2018|
I am the apparent target of many murder attempts that have apparently accidentally killed other people. Invariably I am the culprit and was out to get those other people.
|by Anonymous||reply 39||08/20/2018|
We're the new lesbian characters--yes, we were in the original books, where everyone with half a brain realized what we were. But now we kiss on screen to make the older generation's heads explode.
|by Anonymous||reply 40||08/20/2018|
Hi R40 I'm afraid you lady lovers belong to the Marple episodes.
|by Anonymous||reply 41||08/20/2018|
I am a plot twist involving the villain translating his real name into another language to create an alias.
|by Anonymous||reply 42||08/20/2018|
R41, I, like the location managers of Poirot, hoped no one would have noticed.
I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for our meddling R40.
|by Anonymous||reply 43||08/20/2018|
^^^^R41, of course.
|by Anonymous||reply 44||08/20/2018|
I’m the plaintive cry “Touch nothing!” as the body is discovered.
|by Anonymous||reply 45||08/21/2018|
[quote]I am a plot twist involving the villain translating his real name into another language to create an alias.
Isn’t that right Fraulein Gruenwald?
|by Anonymous||reply 46||08/21/2018|
Or Felix Ruber.
|by Anonymous||reply 47||08/21/2018|
Or Ima Kunt
|by Anonymous||reply 48||08/22/2018|
I'm the bidet in M. Poirot's bathroom, keeping his shitter gleaming. Japp thinks I'm a fancy sink. Ms Christie has better taste than to mention me in the original books.
|by Anonymous||reply 49||08/30/2018|
I'm the exasperated explanations (plot expositions) Poirot has to provide to the dim Hastings
|by Anonymous||reply 50||12/21/2019|
I'm the coin wedged in David Suchet's crack
|by Anonymous||reply 51||12/21/2019|
I'm Michael Fassbender playing a drunk. I'm a method actor.
|by Anonymous||reply 52||12/21/2019|
R38, I saw an episode recently with that house and I had to look up the location.
I am the chaulmoogra oil used to drive people mad.
|by Anonymous||reply 53||12/21/2019|
I'm the (extremely annoying and distracting) Vaseline on the lens beginning with season 11. I make the episodes so fuzzy, you'll feel the need to clean you glasses and your tv screen.
|by Anonymous||reply 54||10/16/2020|
|by Anonymous||reply 55||10/16/2020|
I'm Poirot's breakfast. The 2 soft boiled eggs must be perfectly identical.
|by Anonymous||reply 56||10/16/2020|
Yes, R54, it's hard to see what's happening on screen.
I'm the mysterious inconsistent footage which occurred in the film (or videotape) over a few years.
The arc lamp wattage was increased or the film was incorrectly processed and bleached in the lab.
|by Anonymous||reply 57||10/16/2020|
I think the goal was to disguise his wrinkles. In reality it just makes everything look blurry and smeary.
|by Anonymous||reply 58||10/16/2020|
I'm The Mystery of the Bumped Threads.
|by Anonymous||reply 59||10/16/2020|
No mystery, I missed it the first time around and have been binge watching Poirot and wanted to discuss.
|by Anonymous||reply 60||10/16/2020|
I'm another recent binge-watcher and I'm fascinated how the stories have been either edited-down or stretched-out to fit the one-hour or two-hour time slot.
I'm 'binge-watching' because my local TV channel has been 'binge-screening' them. And I get thoroughly confused when that channel shows Christie's characters in the 1980s version one week and the same characters acting out the same plot in the later version in the following week.
|by Anonymous||reply 61||10/16/2020|
Which episodes are you bingeing today?
|by Anonymous||reply 62||10/17/2020|
I'm English cuisine, a comfort and joy to Inspector Japp's tastebuds and iron stomach.
To Monsieur Poirot I am tasteless and vile.
|by Anonymous||reply 63||10/17/2020|
I'm the unnecessary group gossip Poirot drops about the other guests at the accusation soiree before finally revealing the murderer. "Did you need to know that Great Uncle Alfred dresses in lingerie? NON! But by God I have spent the last week snooping round this house and I will reveal every dark family secret you all hoped would never see the light of day regardless of its relevancy to the stabbing before getting down to solving this brutal crime."
|by Anonymous||reply 64||10/17/2020|
I'm the 9-inch dildo hidden at the very back of the third drawer of Miss Lemon's meticulous filing. Usually enjoyed every Wednesday morning by Miss Lemon when M. Poirot out is at the barber.
|by Anonymous||reply 65||10/17/2020|
Je suis [italic]mal de mer[/italic], the menace of every Channel crossing.
"'AsTINGS! Summon the steward! I am in need of a tisane de gingembre! What do you mean you don't know what it is? It's ginger you rosbif halfwit!" BLEAAARGH
|by Anonymous||reply 66||10/17/2020|
R64 - How dare you?! Gossip is always necessary. The more salacious the better, especially in a murder investigation.
|by Anonymous||reply 67||10/17/2020|
I'm the jewels the Countess steals all over the world because Poirot was thinking with his cock and let her go.
|by Anonymous||reply 68||10/17/2020|
I'm the evil voice.
|by Anonymous||reply 69||10/17/2020|
I am the moustache torture-wax that ought to have ignited and taken his face with me long before now.
|by Anonymous||reply 70||10/17/2020|
Murder in Paradise always has the detective doing this shit. I guess it's a formula.
|by Anonymous||reply 71||10/17/2020|
I'm the loud, smelly farts that uncouth Inspector Japp does after a night of fine dining at the Belgian's elegant table.
I could have a 1/2 mile exclusion zone in Isleworth.
|by Anonymous||reply 72||10/17/2020|
I'm Captain Hasting's missing grey cells.
|by Anonymous||reply 73||10/17/2020|
I'm the magnifying glass that helps him find there is one page missing from Carlotta Adam's missive to her sister.
|by Anonymous||reply 74||10/17/2020|
I'm Inspector Japp's simmering resentment over always being shown up by Poirot.
|by Anonymous||reply 75||10/17/2020|
I'm a dodgy American accent. It'll be a relief when this character is bumped off.
|by Anonymous||reply 76||10/17/2020|
I'm Miss Lemon's shitty typewriter. Poirot refuses to replace me.
|by Anonymous||reply 77||10/17/2020|
I'm the Vaseline on the lens mentioned in R54 and combined with window glare in R69.
|by Anonymous||reply 78||10/17/2020|
I am the lack of lawyers present at these final reveals. You know, all these suspects should've lawyered up by now (unless they are trapped in a train or boat for some reason). But instead they just humor that little fey and theatrical Belgian and go into these things without legal council. Is it any wonder that Poirot is toying with them and playing his petty little mind games to prolong their torture? They have only themselves to blame.
|by Anonymous||reply 79||10/17/2020|
I'm the literary snob who says these characters are utterly one-dimensional and completely lacking one iota of psychological consistency.
They are Mr A, Mr B, Mrs C, Mrs D, Miss E and F etcetera being pushed through some contortions of Step 1, step 2, step 3 etcetera.
|by Anonymous||reply 80||10/17/2020|
I am the early seasons, when everything is campy and funny, even though people are being murdered and will be hanged, and even though Christie’s books are dark and quite serious.
|by Anonymous||reply 81||10/17/2020|
I am 1936. There were more murders among England's upper class during me than all the years before or since combined.
|by Anonymous||reply 82||10/17/2020|
I'm the slurred names.
Marple is a variation of the common word marble. Poirot is a variation on the celebrated couturier Poiret
|by Anonymous||reply 83||10/17/2020|
[quote]without legal council
|by Anonymous||reply 84||10/17/2020|
I'm the murderer who dresses up as someone else to try to foil Poirot
|by Anonymous||reply 85||10/17/2020|
I'm Nurse Leatheran, pushed aside for TV to make room for Hastings. That twit is lucky there wasn't one more murder in Mesopotamia.
|by Anonymous||reply 86||Last Sunday at 12:08 AM|
Hi Nurse Leatheran! You were missed as the narrator of the story! How crazy is it your mistress had such a poor memory for faces?!
|by Anonymous||reply 87||Last Sunday at 2:23 AM|
I never gossip about my patients. I'll just mention that face blindness, or Prosopagnosia, is a real condition.
But then so is Faecal Encephalopathy.
|by Anonymous||reply 88||Last Sunday at 4:00 AM|
I'm Colonel Hastings' hard-on for The Wrong Woman. I get quite a workout.
|by Anonymous||reply 89||Last Sunday at 4:13 AM|
I'm Bella Duveen and I'll put an end to all these pesky erections for Arthur. Especially for his fey little Belgian friend.
|by Anonymous||reply 90||Last Sunday at 4:22 AM|
I am a sentiment translated too literally from French. Do not mock yourself at me!
|by Anonymous||reply 91||Last Sunday at 5:09 AM|
Lol R91 I am the red fish who distracts from the real killer!
|by Anonymous||reply 92||Last Monday at 5:48 AM|
I'm the earrings
|by Anonymous||reply 93||Last Monday at 5:50 AM|
I Am the caftans
|by Anonymous||reply 94||Last Monday at 5:50 AM|
"The little Frog is Belgian!"
|by Anonymous||reply 95||Last Monday at 5:52 AM|