Dan Souza - Cute, nerdish cook from America's Test Kitchen

I'm starting to lose interest in Seth MacFarlane so back off bitch. This guy is my next obsession.

This clip is annoying because of the hosts that can't let him finish a sentence, but in it we learn he graduated top of his class from Culinary Institute of America. Also the middle bitch avoids asking him specifically about a boyfriend/girlfriend by asking about someone who would "want to go out with you, be your date."

I've posted about Dan Souza in the past. He's adorable, and so smart.

R2, the bitches are from a bad SNL sketch.

Dan is my favorite part of America's Test Kitchen. I am glad to see him given a more prominent role this season.

He has an entire series of clips on the ATK you tube channel. He knows his staff and presents it very well.

Go to 1:40 of R2's video and you'll have your answer.

Check out his Instagram.

R7 I don't get it.

hehehe

[quote]He knows his staff and presents it very well.

I'd like to get to know his "staff" too. Will he present it to me?

[quote]Go to 1:40 of [R2]'s video and you'll have your answer.

[quote]I don't get it.

There's nothing to get. R7 thinks he can determine this guy's sexuality based on one hand motion in a 10-minute segment. Antiquated interpretations are a thing around here. It's kinda' all they have, y'know?

Eh, that wasn't the only moment I saw, but it was the easiest moment to remember. Yeah, it's probably an antiquated interpretation. Dude could be as straight as an arrow. Either way, it wasn't meant to be an insult. It'd be awesome if he were gay. I think he's adorable.

I saw nothing at 1:40, either.

The droopiness in his mouth seems more pronounced this season.

He ate a bad sea urchin.

[quote] Ventimiglia was born with a self-described "crooked mouth" that is the result of damaged nerves on the left side, which cause that side to remain immobile, much like, incidentally, actor Sylvester Stallone, with whom he worked in "Rocky Balboa."

According to Wiki, Milo's crooked lip is a birth defect. Side note, I never realized Stallone had the same issue.

So I wonder if Souza has had that lip issue forever, or if it developed as a result of some trauma.

[quote]He ate a bad sea urchin.

I once ate a bad street urchin.

He hasn't been posting much to his Insta or Twitter in the past few weeks. Maybe that's cause he's busy taping the new season of ATK. But he's not giving me anything to satisfy my cyber stalking.

An AWG that cooks. Revolutionary.

If he presents hole I guess that would be his answer. I wonder if it's clean or a little crusty.

He looks like he might have an interesting anus

Much Cat on his Instagram.

And this clip from the dancefloor at a friend's wedding. Looks like Souza hangs with a mixed crowd - including the gender non-conforming.

Cubano cat cuteness

OP and his ilk never fail in pathetically attempting to eroticize the most rat-faced and unattractive celebrities.

R25, who is your most attractive celebrity?

Any man who doesn't look like he haunts sewers at night.

Glad not to know more about you, R27. Or your ilk.

Yes, do go on with your fawning over Mr. Ratface Sousa. After all, there is no accounting for taste.

r29 hasn't been even finger-fucked in at least a decade.

Oh, bitch, do continue showing what a sad cunt you are, while you masturbate to the Ratface chef.

r31, is that an attempt at a snappy cumback? I stand corrected: you haven't been finger-fucked since Bush was president. The first one.

Dan Souza is totally fucking adorable. R31 R29 prefers the tender ministrations of the likes of Rocco Steele.

r33, come on--you think r29/r31 could get even Rocco Steele? More like Bruce Vilanch.

Fap away, R33, R34 and OP!

Ratface personified, measuring meat.

Whatever, r35...

r35's dream fuck, Miss Bruce.

Yuck. That is one of the ugliest fuckers to fall out of a pussy. Kill yourself OP.

No, R39. Kill you.

Don't worry, r40. r39 kills himself a little each day.

It's an orgy! Hawt!

Is he cut or uncut?

[quote] I never realized Stallone had the same issue.

Stallone's mouth issues didn't start until he had the massive amount of bad plastic surgery he's had on his face. Look at videos of him when he was young.

more like this?

A hint of hairy, pale legs...

Trying to make so much of such a simple thing! Its rice! Put a cup of it in two cups of boiling water, cover and let simmer on a LOW flame 20 minutes. Fluff, Serve. Perfection. Hah … "fluff, serve" sounds like a gay cookbook.

How simple is the gay word! This one hot? Well not to me. Glad to see many appreciate his looks; there is someone for everyone.

he's either hung and great in bed, or annoying and asexual.

he also strikes me as someone who is a whole lot more fun with a few drinks in him.

I don't watch this show but I'd bang that guy like a drum.

He is adorable. I would marry him.

He has all the raw sexual energy of a young Chris Kimball

Holla at yer boy...

You sad, deranged whores are a great reminder why I have absolutely no social media presence.

Wow -- I never noticed his mouth until r53's photo

What's wrong with his mouth?

I think noted homosexualist Jack Bishop was grooming him to take over as lead of the show, but he is too food science geek...

Some of you obviously never watch the show. He's fun and funny on air and provides a nice counterpoint to the ladies who host now. When Kimball was still there, they obviously took great pains to film him from only one side because you didn't notice his mouth. It wasn't until the current season that it became more prominent, but if you find old footage of him, the droop is there.

I thought we'd established on another thread that he was married but kept it quiet on social media because fraus tune into this show and like to draw their own conclusions without knowing anyone's backstory. Like how Chris Kimball was a ladies' man, apparently.

He's married? And they're concealing it?

Does this mean he's Julia and Bridget's boss now?

This is ATK, they aren't concealing shit.

Dan and Julia are doing a live Q&A tomorrow. I'm sure some of you have some really "interesting" questions for Dan.

In case you missed it, their Q&A replay is on the site. They said this one is a freebie, but you'll have to join the site to watch future hours.

Did he have a stroke or something? That mouth is gross.

There is absolutely nothing about him that seems gay. He’s a straight nerd bro.

R63 Did anyone ask Dan if he was top or a bottom?

He's 35 years old.

This is a rare time when he's showing the other side of his face while on camera.

I will marry him -warts and all. Droopy mouth doesn't bother me. Makes him even more sexy.

We'll live in a nice big house with a large kitchen. Have people over for meals,conversation and camaraderie.

Love to,wake in the morning after a night of lovemaking to the smell of coffee and breakfast that Dan prepared.

Dan seems to be a decent guy. Now that he's the big boss at Cooks Illustrated. I hope he does not end up like the disgraced New Orleans celebrity chef, John Besh.

Sounds amazing, R68. You'll have to fight me for him :)

There's a guy on Christopher Kimball's new Milk Street show who pings to high heaven, but he mentioned having a spouse (no gender specified) and kids ...

I prefer ATK over the new Milk Street. Christopher Kimball is insufferable most ofmthe time.

He used to denigrate spicy Southeast Asian cuisine and its indispensable ingredients in ATK (hello fish sauce and shrimp paste). Now he is forced to feature SE Asian chefs and cuisine in Milk Street.

I am glad Kimball is out of ATK. Now, talented and likeable ATK chefs who used to be in the background are featured regularly and prominently.

I just watched Dan Souza can butter pickles with Bridget at America's Test Kitchen. He can butter my pickle anytime. I love you,Dan.

R73 BREAD and butter pickles.

[quote]Christopher Kimball is insufferable most of the time. He used to denigrate spicy Southeast Asian cuisine and its indispensable ingredients in ATK (hello fish sauce and shrimp paste). Now he is forced to feature SE Asian chefs and cuisine in Milk Street.

It makes me wonder whether he was lying then or he's lying now.

We should call the hotline today and ask Dan a question about stuffing.

I want to stuff him, R76. Full of stuff.

Do you think he'll remain lithe or will he bloat up like so many chefs do?

Sorry, folks. He's good at what he does but he is no kind of sex symbol. Appreciate him for what he brings to the show.

Kimball didn't, r78, and he's 66.

R79 = Rocco Steele

A cute guy who loves to cook. Just what I need in my life, cause I fucking hate it. We’d make a great pair. He can cook the meals and I’ll kill the spiders. I bet he’s scared of them.

You'll never notice the lip when you're throat fucking him.

He was on the season premiere episode today discussing proper whisking techniques. The lip thing is still quite noticeable.

Wonder what (or who) Dan does for Valentine's Day...

His ass looks very perky..

I love Dan too OP. He seems so smart, sweet, and funny. I think he should grow his beard out just a tad more. When I imagine him undressed, he's quite hairy in my fantasy.

I guess by liking a guy like this, you have zero competition.

I competish for Dan. Totally fucking adorkable.

He is cut. A classic 6 inches. Very little hair on his chest.

He is very cute, and is apparently somewhat tall. I prefer shorties, but he's so adorable, I'd make an exception for him.

You can catch Dan naked on My Cam 3X His user name is mikka21

Maybe he had an acoustic neuroma like my sister who now has a noticeable droop like Dan's.

He's cute and does not have rat-faced bone structure. For that to be the case he would need to have black, glassy (if not beady) eyes and the cheekbone to nose & mouth ratio would be different. Plus, he has a solid jawline & the shape of his head is not heart-shaped. As for his smile/mouth, it is noticeable in some videos and pictures, but is not a deal breaker. Maybe it's a palsy?

Dan has a disarming personality. That's what draws so many of us to him. He's tall and slender which adds to the illusion that he is younger than he really is. I suspect Dan has had a bout of bells palsy which leaves (only about 5%) some people permanently disfigured. I believe Dan uses vulgar street language in his stage persona to increase the perception that he is masculine. Dan is also very clean in appearance with doesn't hurt his on-camera attractiveness. He is obviously quite intelligent to complete his on-camera appearance of being astutely desirable.

Dan has said on Twitter that he was born with the crooked mouth.

[quote]There is absolutely nothing about him that seems gay. He’s a straight nerd bro.

Are we watching the same show?

R97 is correct. Someone asked him if he'd had a stroke (!) and he replied:

[quote]Dan Souza (@testcook) tweeted at 9:31 AM on Fri, Dec 08, 2017: Nope, I was just born this way.

Of course, I wouldn't rule out the possibility he's lying. Lots of people lie when asked questions that are nobody's business.

He uses "vulgar street language"? Where? I've never seen the show...

R100. It's quite racy for PBS. He'll say, "Beat those goddamn eggs till they beg for mercy!"

Flat, dead little eyes, scraggly, unhealthy looking beard, stringy, likely hairless body. Sexually uninteresting. Something rodent-like about him. Lackluster on-screen presence. Is he on the spectrum ?

Additionally, when I look at him, I see this guy :

Looks like Dan has turned someone down!

Granted, Souza probably thinks he's a lot cooler and sexier than he really is. Still, he's better looking than 80% of the porn "stars" and SM whores that DLers gush about.

Dan is incredibly sexy and hilarious. Check out his stand up comedy on Youtube.

Who is "Tom J"?

I want to lick him between his legs and behind his balls.

He needs to be naked and accessible.

Omfg for the last time, just NO. Icky and sallow with shitty hair and a derpy mouth. Bet you want to fuck his ratty hipster lookalike from the "Fracture" commercial, too.

R109 = Recording Secretary and Backhair Collector of the Rocco Steele Fan Club

You bet, R109. Love his voice, too. And how much he reminds me of Joshie from Transparent.

Yeah, R111 , they're both just vile. I'm assuming you're all a bunch of women, which is why you find that type attractive.

R112, I'd like to refer you back to the first sentence you typed in r109.

And no, I'm not a woman. Not even a T with a P.

Kyoot!

Dan's talking burgers - and showing how "easy" is is to make your own ground beef.

Is he of the homosex persuasion?

WHO's Eating Dan?

Dan has magnificent thumbs. BDTs.

Mmm-mm-mmmm! I would eat Dan Souza's burger any day.

Yuck

This way he said the best way to cook a beef roast is in a pressure cooker. Not too sure about that...

I prefer Pete Souza, King of Trump Trollers.

"This weekend..." not "This way..."

He has a cute butt.

R124 and that bunghole has been used more than his Breville blender.

Never trust a skinny cook.

Dan says that what makes or breaks great ice cream is how it feels in your mouth.

Dan has often said he'd go gay if it would increase his TV ratings, but he adds, fortunately, I haven't had the need.

No! Don't tell me Dan would stick it in a fish!

This queen was on today waving his hands like Taylor Lautner.

No, he doesn't have a "cute butt," R124. He doesn't even have a butt. It's a non-butt.

Does he have an OnlyFans page?

Bump. I really have a crush on him. He’s nerdy, nice, and so so cute. I....want to lick him all over.

Team up Dan with Steve Kornacki for the geek orgy of all time. Mmmmm!

Dan has a huge dick, but he only puts it in female orifices, although he did sample a few eager male mouths back in the day. It’s all pussy for him now,

Oh, R135! EWWWWWWWW!

Yes, he likes pussy. So the fuck what?!?

Dan looks very dapper all suited up to officiate this lesbian wedding.

R71

His name is Matthew Card and he MUST be gay.

How do gay men get to such high positions around Chris Kimball...

Chris Kimball was always the worst part of ATK (which was otherwise good) so I'm not so enthused for Milk Street (what kind of name is that anyway?)

BTW, I took Dan's Brussel Sprouts method for Xmas -- and actually liked them this year.

I think Milk Street is history. I haven't seen any new episodes in a LONG time. Was it canned?

Ratface.

R141, Milk Street started its new season a couple months ago. They've already aired around 5 new episodes. The new season is all about food from different countries, mostly Asia. I can't see many viewers using the recipes they've featured so far.

The cooks on the show are not all that likable. They're kind of snooty, to be honest. Milk Street doesn't have any of the charm and familiarity that ATK or Cooks Country has.

What channel are you watching his show on? Is it cable, ‘cause I ain’t got no cable no more.

He's not interesting or attractive and gives off an Aspie vibe.

Did you see the America's Test Kitchen Christmas special that aired this month? They combined several of the cooking segments from this season together with footage of the ATK cooks at a Christmas party. It was fascinating to see the personalities outside of the kitchen. The first thing I noticed was how much better-looking everybody is in real life. The geeky Jewish guy who always does the taste test comparisons actually has a tight body for a man his age. I can see myself being attracted to him if I saw him at a party. Dan Souza came off slightly queeny at the party.

Re his mouf situation. He wrote in an editorial in cooks a couple three months ago that his jaw was growing funny and at some point they had to bork it and wire his gob shot for a while.

Around these here parts I only see Milky St on the main pbs channel (the one with the begging sessions) and not on create (but then again they only show create for half a day cuz diversity y'all)

Cute? CUTE?

FFS.

Matthew is cuter.

[quote]The cooks on the show are not all that likable. They're kind of snooty, to be honest. Milk Street doesn't have any of the charm and familiarity that ATK or Cooks Country has.

I think Kimball is responsible for the snootiness. Not that I care for Julia and Bridget's constant finishing of each other's sentences and sounds about how good the food is.

He's still a cutie and carries his tall lanky body well. However, much prefer Keith Dresser..mmmm!

I should count how many times I yell, Shut up, Kimball! at the TV during any given Milk Street episode. He seems to have dialed down his aversion to spicy food a little but now is just snarky to the chefs. The only chef I really like is Matthew Card, who pings like a nuclear submarine. While I appreciate the tour of international cuisine the show provides, I can't see many viewers making the dishes (although their Cape Malay Curry is fantastic and easy).

Topic: I have a gay male friend who works on ATK, and he says DSouza is straight.

Yeah, r148 , OP also claims to like that creepy lookalike Aspiebot on the tv commercial for Fracture.

Some people's taste is all in their feet.

DSouza is straight?! What!

Eh...

Cute is cute, and I for one hopes he has a happy life. I'm an old gay and when these posts from young gays, hope Dan finds a nice wife and has the happy life he deserves and wish for the nicer young gays which seem to stay away from DL.

Milk Street focuses on foreign recipes that I would never cook. And I love to cook. I have to congratulate Dan though. He graduated from his serial pedophile look when he first started on ATK to kind of cute-ish. He does seem genuinely nice and certainly knowledgeable about food now.

[quote]How simple is the gay word!

It's three letters long, for starters.

No love for hot daddy Brian Rueff?

[quote]Milk Street focuses on foreign recipes that I would never cook.

Chris Kimball, either. The show makes no sense whatsover. He hates hot food, among other absurdities.

He's indeed adorable, but he's a side talker. His mouth stretches to the side when he says certain words. Side talkers always cause me concern.

He says that's because his mother was kicked by a mule when he was in utero.

[quote]No love for hot daddy Brian Rueff?

His name is BRYAN ROOF.

^^ Thanks, Dan.

Straight, apparently.

That's not Dan Souza, r165.

Aforementioned Matthew Card.

Matthew Card is the guy in r165.

Provide a reply number when referring to someone ten posts ago, r167. Otherwise, we might think you're talking about the guy whose name is in the headline. Silly of us, I know.

That article at R168 must be wrong. It would suggest Matthew Card is fifty or almost fifty.

Here's Matthew Card in 2016. He's not in his 50s.

SHOW US HIS TITS!

Yes, R170, that's why I said it was wrong.

[quote]A trip to Dean and Deluca in NYC as an impressionable 12-year old probably clinched it to me. It was the early 80s and the store was paradise for me

We should all agree to disagree. If you like Dan that's fine, but I like my chubby bear Adam Reed!

Gurl, chubby was thirty five pounds ago for him.

Dan and Adam are both still on America's Test Kitchen.

Gurl, anyone watch his 'What's Eating Dan?' videos?

Any shirtless pix of Danny Boy?

He sucks dick.

Does he employ the same scientific method to sex as he does to cooking?

If he has chest hair, I wonder if it's patchy like his beard?

[quote]a Le Creuset mattress

Don't even want to think about what that might feel like.

There are a few instagram photos of him performing same sex marriages. He seems like a cool guy.

Oh, hey, he says he graduated high school in 1990.

Ahhh...a Bethesdette (Matthew, not Dan)

I'd take Matthew over Dan, but only if I couldn't have both.

So cute.

Well, he’s obviously a drunky, just look at r186 ‘s link.

Matthew Card must be like forty-seven then, right?

I want Dan inside me quite deeply.

Matthew looks great for being nearly fifty.

Odd that Kimball seemingly choses to surround himself with women and gay-ish men.

He must not like threats.

He’s cute as hell.

Which one, r192?

Dan is hot

Wanted to bump this thread because I just saw an early Dan video. Wow, he's really come a long way.

Funny story I use to work in a building on Milk St. in Boston. Also have worked in the Seaport district too but never bumped into ATK people.

Does he masturbate often?

Matthew's posted some photos of his family here. I could have sworn he was family. Does my gaydar need a tuneup?