Signs that you're stuck in a White Trash Christmas

When the people around you refer to the man of the season as "Santy Claus."

When they serve "snack dinner"

Riunite white zinfandel served in a tumbler glass with ice.

That's racist. You wouldn't say ghetto black Christmas, but you're fine allowing that? F&F the OP

You voted for trump

KFC is substituted for turkey. Lots of coors beer. Watermelon.

Your Christmas Dinner is in a 'Red State'!

You arrive at the house and your eyes meet a plastic lawn nativity surrounded by metal Christmas trees.

you're at my house!

SHRIEEEE EEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEK

[quote]KFC is substituted for turkey.

Yeah, if your last name is Nguyen, it is. *snort*

You have those plastic light up Santas, Nativity scenes, snowmen, and other holiday figures on your front yard. Of course, the color has faded on them because you've put out there for the last forty years.

Traditional recipes are employed; there isn't anything that yet-another-dumb-art-student has looked up "online" <-- LOL.

The entire left half of the Christmas tree flashes on and off.

Everybody smokes.

After a greasy lunch, everyone retires to the front porch for a nap before going 'mudding'. The porch collapses under all of the extra weight and the five dogs sleeping under the porch perish. You drink a case or two of beer in honor of the fallen and then use them as target practice.

Nothing but monster truck rallies and church shows on the TV

Nothing but country music on the radio

"Fresh-baked" store-brand biscuits out of a tube with SPAM instead of ham

NASCAR ornaments on the tree

Tobacco spit stains from people long since departed from this world on a carpet in a design they don't make anymore from a 50-year-old mom and pop rug store that closed in the crash of 2008

Plastic-framed dime-store Jesus on the wall

Black soot from various smokables

Presents from Family Dollar

At least one person gets a carton of smokes for Xmas

All your gifts are NASCAR merchandise.

Coors,R6? You must be one of them high falutin rednecks,around my families house its Busch lite!

You fuck your xmas gifts.

You leave out Little Debbie holiday snack cakes for Santa. On a paper plate.

You serve a buffet because last year most refused to pass dishes

Instead of a real tree or even an artificial tree, they put up one of those spindly white plastic stick trees with the lights permanently mounted along the limbs. It's in the front window, but is actually meant to be a yard decoration.

Gifts are wrapped with extra Trump/Pence posters.

Silver dollar in the teee.

No you don't fo invitin' those dollard boys.they be stelin' mah shilvwr dollars

At least one family member is wearing an article of clothing that is camo.

The dirt patch in front of your house is covered with inflatable Santas, reindeer, and snowmen, some working and some deflated with grass growing out of their decomposing fabric after being left outside to rot when Hussein NO!bama first stole the country. Now that America is great again, Grandpoppa and Cliftus will go to Walmart first thing Monday morning to buy all new ones on clearance.

"Riunite white zinfandel served in a tumbler glass with ice."

That's some food channel queer stuff right there--said by at least one of the many men named Bobby Lee and/or Bubba.

You have one of these, still in the box, in a very special hiding place. Sure, you'll take it out to show your guests but will never, ever be hung on the tree. It's far too precious.

a female relative with 4 kids, each w/ different father. At least 1 of the kids is half black. " At least Ah didn't abort no baby." She said proudly as she is about to announce that she is pregnant again after dinner.

Grandma's passing out dime baggies of homegrown and condoms.

Crystal meth is one of the dinner courses! For many -the only!

There are shart marks on all the furniture.

Someone has a refill of "White Diamonds" perfume waiting under the tree.

Wagon wheel chandeliers and spinningwheel lamps

Instead of an angel on top of the tree it's a beer bottle.

A pair of relatives will get drunk and have some kind of sexual contact with each other.

no gift tags on the wrapped up six pack of bud

Christmas dinner features Stove-Top stuffing, Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and mashed potatoes from a box, and is served on disposable plates.

You get a new set of teefs for xmas

at first glance, I read this as "Signs that you're stuck in White House Trash"

Someone gets an object decorated with a Confederate flag...and loves it.

the dog's stocking stuffers are better than yours

Off topic but I really miss stocking stuffers.

Bubba gets a boner when when the wind from the broken winder blows grammaw's nightie up to her wrinkly knees.

At least one female family member calls another a bitch and or cunt.

toasting is done with jelly glasses over an open flame

When the dog farts, various family members try to claim credit.

Casual domestic violence all around. Rampant corporal punishment for the kids, smacks for mouthy wives, shin kicks for drunk husbands, and fisticuffs ready to break out at any moment. Watch out for Mee-Maw's cane. She's frail but she is not afraid to his you with it.

Bertha announces plans to move to a higher-class trailer park when she can finally afford a doublewide. Secretly she knows this is just a pipe dream.

No white trash Christmas is complete without the arrival of the cops at some point. There will be an alcohol and or drug induced brawl at some point before the day is over.

Everyone's wearing the latest fashions from Walmart in sizes that are much too small, and because they're all overweight, they all look like pigs in flannel and cheap cotton.

A small child receives a firearm/ammo as a present.

R54 At minimum, a BB gun.

55 replies - I suspect more than a few of you are making a list and checking it twice

And I still have it in a box somewhere R55.lol

R45, so do I. Loved the orange in the toe

drunk kid knocks over the plastic tree at some point

A 300 pound girl will be wearing an animal print onesie.

When a brother and sister celebrate the birth of their baby

When a women who's only 30 years old already has a granddaughter.

They leave a can of beer/lager for santa

A kiss under the mistletoe from your cousin with a goose added for flavor

Me-maw's KKK robes are used as the tablecloth for the young un's table

The front of the trailer has a rickety wooden ramp so that the fat relatives can take the mobility scooter to the McDonald's drive-thru.

The front yard has five trucks but only one is actually running, the rest are up on blocks.

Oooooh! I got a carton of ciggies!

70's tank tops are not frowned upon, but rather encouraged at Christmas Dinner!

"Farting Santa in an Outhouse.| Every year they drag stuff like this out and put in their LIVING ROOM!!

My neigbors. Seriously.

Hickory sticks! Coors Light!

Pretty close similarity to what my married next door 'red neck' neighbor looks like.

Pizza cup horse doovers is comin' out from the oven, y'all!

Someone present states that their favorite Christmas song is GrandMa Got Run Over By A Reindeer !

People who claim to find the neighborhood of Hampden in Baltimore to be 'awe inspiring' at Christmas time.

Once again, Krullice's Christmas dream of new counterfeit Uggs will be shattered.

Memaw's, as well

everyone loads into the back of the truck for a ride through town to see the 'purty lights'

double dipping everything

I'm the empty tin can in the living room to spit your chaw juice into.

Oooh, look at r80, all high and mighty!

Y'all, the molten hallapeeno popper dip's fixin' to peel off your mucus membranes!

Go easy on the Savoritz crackers, Joesaiah-Joe! Aldi ain't givin'em away for nuthin'.

Mucous, that is. Those of you who ain't already lost them shits to oral cancer.

There's at least one dessert who's main component is Jello.

I still got some teeth left, I can open that bag o chips. But someone's gotta help my back out. You gotta use some whiskey on them zits after you pop 'em. Then you gotta save all that discharge in a cup so I kin bring it to the doctor.

Everyone's present came from the Hickory Farms kiosk at the mall. High class y'all

whats the baby gonna do with 40$?

Your aunt is named Lurlene Junior.

The young cute cousin who keeps smiling at you, knowing damn well you love sucking dick, and that he's gotten you half-hard, despite your now conflicting feelings about fucking family members.

You send cheap Christmas cards made at the drugstore from your own photos.

Your relatives want to have Christmas dinner at The Cracker Barrel...cause they want to feel fancy.

They call the cheap sparkling wine brung by Billy Bob "champagne ".

R89 - so you suck him off during all of his smoke breaks in the outhouse.

you send Paper Magic brand Christmas cards.

Now that's Trump level classy!

The fancy cousin from NORTH Virginia brought some big city wine in a box.

You're in a neighborhood where the houses are on wheels and the cars are on blocks.

At least one guy is wearing cowboy boots with his jeans tucked into them.

A fight breaks out between women, one of which is at least 60 years old.

Your broke ass cousin of 56 married a 20 Y/O deportee dat that he now brought to meeht tha familly. She don't speak a word of English and just nods fevorously and smiles sweetly at everyone

Bump

Sarah Palin and family arrive in a white stretch Hummer limo with antlers attached to the roof.

Getting smokes for Christmas ain't no White Tee-rash thing!

Why, Miss Joan Crawford herself suggested it!

Red and green streaks, Mohawks, fauxhawks, and rat tails on all kindergarten-aged boys.

R102 you made me splatter the Christmas cookies I was eating all over my monitor! LOL

Bubba just pulled up with dead road kill that he wants memawh to stew

Seriously, R94?

You actually check the label on Christmas cards?

I surely don't want to be highfalultin if it involves checking Christmas card manufacturers.

"Save the bows!! And this beautiful wrapping paper from K-Mart! Don't crumple it up! I can use it next year!!"

You get yourself a golf cart for getting around the park

my whole family is white trash so i'm stuck in hell.

A 100% true story told at the Christmas dinner table yesterday:

Mom: "We were drinking 151 on Friday night and Mike (her son) and John (her husband) went outside and passed out in a snow bank. LOL! "

Crowd erupts in laughter...

Mom: "I got 'em both up but they passed out again. LOL! I told you I could hold my liquor!"

You could swear that uncle Jethro's lazy eye is eyeing your crotch

R108 my mother.

marry me, r73 and r82.

You step on raw cat turds indoors more than once during Christmas day (different turds).

This happened yesterday. Boyfriend's mother said her husband gave her a copper pan... turns out she ordered herself one of those copper pans off tv, she said she saved the first payment on it too (I have seen the infomercial and they give that "special offer" to everybody)

You haven't been home for five years and your nephew James picks you up at the airport. He is now covered in tats and piercings and goes by Bubba. You are horrified but as the week goes you you realize he is the only one in the family who is actually kind and sweet and not a backstabbing narcissist.

Several of the dinner guests appear in the following video...

Unironic ugly Christmas sweaters.

Onion soup mix potato chip dip.

Hors d’oeuvres consist of store-brand fruit loops in a plastic mixing bowl.

Celebrating at Mar-A-Lago with your "blind trusts." The room is decorated with their safari trophies.

I know it's trashy but I'm here to defend onion dip. mmmmmm

Who wants some fresh, home made sketti

Most of the day is spent in awkward silence and you're grateful for it.

your family want to meet for xmas at the local chinese buffet.

Mee maw gots her hair did by the queer stylist in the trailer by the entrance to the park

You're excited because you get to take the Express bus to another city.

Everybody calls you Mr. Fancy Pants since you wore a shirt with a collar, instead of a wifebeater, Trump tee, or bare bra.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

The trailer park is their idea of a gated community

Bump!

"Someone gets an object decorated with a Confederate flag...and loves it." LOL

Stove Top!

Has it been a year already? Where do the time done gone?

There's a fistfight on the front lawn.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

1/3 eaten Entenman's cake in box on the counter.

dudes who were bustin' each others' heads open last week are toasting each other with 'nog & brandy

and yeah, someone gets a carton of smokes as a gift

singin' bass on the wall

at least one of the gifts under there is something camo, and the recipient will have to take a stroll of pride to show it off

hours spent talking about everyone's latest tattoos, and their obscure meanings (i always though "Dave" was pretty clear, but obviously i was unhep to the elusive arcanum behind its flaming skull)

guaranteed one fistfight by adults, and one marriage proposal by the end of the evening. sometimes the same parties are involved in both.

When a member of the family uses spray-on hair during a TV interview.

Christmas tree decorated with red, white and blue lights and decorations, cuz 'Murica.

A curse on Mueller is added to the "grace" said before the meal.

I must also defend dip made with Lipton's French onion soup mix. It's fucking heaven, and all of you Ina Garten worshipping bitches know it.

Mama is recording home videos which could easily be confused with the next Wrong Turn, The Hills Have Eyes, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, or Rob Zombie movie.

Me-Maw has a homemade fur coat.

At least one member of the family is wearing an orange safety vest for Christmas dinner.

The coffee table is a giant cable spool salvaged from an industrial dumpster.

The Home Shopping Network operator recognizes your voice.

Uncle Cleetus wears his best denim leisure suit to the Christmas Eve service.

The musical playlist consists of songs by Eminem, Insane Clown Posse, Kid Rock, Lynyrd Skynyrd, and also a few country Christmas classics for good measure.

Elderly male relatives making lewd comments to young female relatives. Cars on the lawn. Lottery tickets as gifts. Desserts without a single fresh ingredient.

Thank describing the entire state of Alabama!

Gwen Stefani's Christmas album

Lipton's Freedom Onion Soup Mix

farting while opening xmas presents.

LED Christmas lights.

The police and the local news crews will show up at some point in the festivities.

you fart during the pre-dinner prayer.

Lots of complaints about immigrants. Me-maw puts "The Wall" on her Christmas list.