Recount the worst closet case you ever encountered

I hooked up with a married guy when I first started having sex and he was a rabid Jesus freak and equally rabid Republican...He was also a nasty bottom that didn't know how to clean out properly.

Why, I declare, OP, I don't have the faintest idea what you're talking about.

Just saw a Vintage House Hunter Show, the married man wanted to be called "Count" and wear elaborately decorated capes and furs (Faux fur hopefully) in a small town. I though, oh dear, hopefully she knows and is on-board with it. She wanted to live in a log cabin, so may?

a roommate in my mid 20s; we met at work, at first he wasn't nice to me and then warmed up a bit and invited me to his roommate.

Like a MORON, I thought people could change for the better. We moved in and things were ok for a bit then he got WEIRD.

I avoided my own place till the lease ran out and got out.

I heard he got married to a woman and had a kid.

I just looked him up on FB; they're still together, which is sad.

His whole life is a lie.

I worked with a kid once who you would never in a million years think was anything but straight. NEVER. Anyway, one day I was reprimanded by my manager and told to go home for the day. Apparently this co-worker of mine thought I was being fired, and as I was walking out to my car he came chasing after me. I thought it was a little weird because he and I weren't really close or anything. Long story short, he told me he'd figured out that I'm into guys and revealed to me that he was too. He said he'd figured it out one day when a hot guy had apparently walked by us at one point (we worked with the public) and he looked over at me and caught me checking the guy out. I laughed at him busting me, but was kind of shocked that this guy of all guys was coming out to me like this. It just didn't compute at all because I'd never gotten any gay vibe from him AT ALL. Then he said, "You want to go somewhere and mess around? In my truck, maybe?" His brazenness kind of turned me on, but I had no idea if I was attracted to him underneath his clothes (if you know what I mean) so I kindly declined. It was all too much, too fast for me.

Long story short, I wasn't fired--I was just sent home for the day. When I returned to work the next day, he had this look on his face like he'd just seen a real life fucking ghost. He wouldn't make any eye contact with me. I tried having a conversation with him and was iced out. It was sad, really. You could tell he was absolutely terrified that somehow was somehow going to figure out his secret. It was as if the conversation we'd had the day before never occurred. Mr. Nice Guy who was trying to get into my pants out in the parking garage was nowhere to be found.

A few years later I was working at another location and he walked in as a customer, not knowing I worked there. I was like, "HEY! How have you been, man!?" Same mortified look came over his face. He answered my question very succinctly and then bolted. Poor guy.

Maybe you had to be there, I don't know.

Tee-hee!

There are some small signs they may not be closeted anymore, but none have come out to me.

Dated a cute republican once. I was curious as I had neve never met one. I didn't date him long enough to figure out why he was so closeted. We are talking Nyc off bway director - smart, 30s, in the arts. I couldn't take it after a few dates.

R5, sad; I'm at the age now where I just try to get out ASAP with the closet cases; life's not a two hour movie of the week.

MOST people don't change.

I went over to this guy's place for a blowjob once. He'd been begging to blow me for quite some time so I figured what the hell, he'd probably be an eager sucker. So he blows me, we bust our nuts, and the first thing out of his mouth afterwards is, "Oh man…this is when the guilt sets in." I thought there was a 50/50 chance this dude was about to kill me. Got the fuck out of there and never went back.

A straight friend took me to see Magic Mike.

The client who drank too much and hit on me more than once. I called him to ask him out after his company dumped us. He mentioned his girlfriend so I let it go. He divorced his wife less than a year after he got married and is engaged again. These ladies really should ask him why he drinks so much.

I met a guy who lived about 20 miles from me (we both lived in rural towns) begging me for sex for weeks online. We finally arranged to get together. He was promising me all sorts of kinky stuff and he said he was a total bottom which was all I needed to hear.

So when we got together, the sex was mediocre and he was clearly not into it. He said stuff like "I don't know if I should be doing this." I on the other hand was raging horny and wasn't going to give up easily, so I kept sticking my dick and tongue into him wherever I could.

I noticed his beard. It was sorta hipster medium length full beard, but more groomed. Because of my own background I wondered if this beard was special. We were still half messing around, but finally I brought it up : "Your beard is unusual - are you Amish or Mennonite, maybe Brethren?"

He froze and stared at me. "Who are you? How do you know me?" And he started to cry, a 40 year old horny perverted man. I told him I don't know you, but apparently I've discovered something. So he admitted he was from a conservative Mennonite community a couple hundred miles away, but "left" about 5 years previously.

So we sorta bonded over that, and my dick was still hard. I was beating off, and he was just giving me side eye. I asked him to suck me off and he said no. Then he said it was time for me to go. I said I would after I came. So I beat off and right before I came I pointed my dick at his face, and shot all over his face and beard. He grimaced but I know he secretly loved it. His sex imagination was way kinkier than mine is, but I had more experience. I felt like I did my part to loosen him up a bit more.

I burnt the turquoise belt, OK?!

And deactivated my Instagram account!

But I'll be gawddammed if I ever give up my love of tango!

R13's story took a very creepy rapey turn

Yeah, something veered off the cliff.

Yeah, because cumming on somebody who spent 2 months inviting you over for sex but instead spent an hour telling you about his clan is rapey.

My thought exactly R17. And R4 left out many key details-- like how you knew he was gay.

I've been with a number of closet cases over the years, mostly Grindr hook-ups or similar. No great stories, but one thing I did notice as a common thread: many of them seemed to have a best friend, another straight guy, who they were madly in love with. This guy, in their minds, was built up to be the stud of all studs with women, the best looking guy in the world and they saw themselves as his protector/BFF/sidekick. I knew they were fantasizing about this guy when they were with me (or any other guy)

I'm sure there's a name for that, but it's sort of sad.

So a man cries in your arms and then you sexually assault him, R13? Creepy as fuck; "creepy" doesn't even cover it but rapey certainly starts to.

No you're exaggerating and watching too much Trump sex assault reports.

He cried because he thought he was found out by one of his clan and the tears quickly dried when he realized I wasn't going to narc on him. He did not cry in my arms. We had sex to an extent but his closetness was getting in the way even though he invited me over for all manner of perversions.

I'm pretty sure he was shunned for being gay. He did not refuse my dick or my cum and I would not have done it had he refused. It was all just odd and silly. Nobody was violated. He asked me to leave because he was done talking and didn't want to have sex anymore. That doesn't mean I have to stop having sex with myself. People get themselves off all the time when their partners decide they are no longer interested. You are a bunch of sex negative drama queens, not far from the closet cases you are talking about here.

No R23.

You're a creepy rapist. The guy was completely fucked up and your move was to get out of there as quickly as quickly as possible. Not shoot all over his beard.

About a decade ago I met a guy online who lived about 100 mi. away. He travelled to the Big City to meet me. We went to a movie and out to dinner. He didn't seem particularly uncomfortable, but from what I gathered his gay life consisted of the occasional hookup with a stranger.

We met again when he invited me to Podunk to spend the weekend. He lived in a sort of cabin at the end of a long lane (I know: serial killer alert). He was sexually awkward but sexy, so I enjoyed myself (he couldn't get it hard when he tried to top me so I topped him).

He said he was not out to anyone, esp. his family. No close friends- gay or otherwise. He was in his 40's and never married (he'd had a couple flirtations with women so I guess that was enough for the folks to believe he "hadn't met the right girl yet"). It was depressing, and I decided a relationship was not going to happen.

He mentioned at one point that he had been at a gay house party in my town before. I asked when and he said about 12 years ago(!) That's right; this guy that I thought was in the process of coming out had been struggling a long, long time.

Update: a year or so ago I saw his sex ad (with face photo) on Bear411 and he described himself as a top. So there has been some progress.

Ugh. Gay men are so damaged. This thread is pathetic.

Yeah, because if someone consents to sex once that's automatically a carte blanche for all future encounters, regardless of circumstance. Classic rapist excuse.

Shriekers!!! ruin another thread. Don't you have some racists to shriek at, cunts like R27?

R13 is Brandon.

He married her instead of me, then would show up places where I lived, long before the internet. Enough said.

Someone asked you to leave during sex (you kept beating off after he cried? WTF?), you literally said "no," and then purposely ejaculated on his face?

Rapey. Undeniably. Your denials only make it worse, creep.

His words said no but his face said yes.

R22 and R24 Keep your fat fingers on the donuts and clutching your Bibles, instead of ruining threads.

^^Including The Lady at R31

RAPIST, RAPIST, R31 IS A RAPST

R-A-P-I-S-T

RAPIST, RAPIST THAT WHAT YOU BE!!

It wasn't rape-rape

Once had a friend, who I kinda liked, who had a boyfriend. Then one day I guess he dumped the boyfriend and decided he was straight. Then started dating a co-worker of his who knew he had been with men but felt that she could change him. After that he started treating me rudely and snubbing me... Then a few months later he says he broke up with her realize he is gay and we fooled around a couple of times... But we were still just friends... then out of the blue he decided he was straight again and was rude to me again and was snubbing me I tried to talk to him. He went back and forth like this for a year or so... Then he ended up getting the girl pregnant and married her... I hear they have a few kids now... But as of 2 years ago I heard he was still crawling on tthe gay meeting sites. He never spoke to me again. Not even sure where he lives now.

After having sex a closet case said "Fuck, I could have had some pussy today."

True. Story.

The Frau brigade is STRONG in this thread.

Did he pop himself on the head like one of those old school V8 commercials R38

I went to college with a guy who would always wants about how gays should be killed because they added nothing to society.

Years later, I found out he was gay.

He ultimately committed suicide because he could reconcile the fact. Honestly, good riddance. He was just a nasty piece of work.

My partner knew professionally this guy, at the time in his mid-40s, a creative director in an ad agency in a mid-sized Southern city. The poor thing was from rural Georgia or something like that and felt he had to pretend to be straight for the sake of his parents who were well into their 70s. He kept a fuckpad in Atlanta where he would go on weekends to chase hustlers. Once, when he was on a work assignment in Buenos Aires, where his agency was shooting a commercial, he got severely beaten and robbed by a hustler in front of a meat trade gay bar. He had to lie low after that because those injuries were hard to explain without getting into details of how they had occurred. Even now, in his mid-50s, he's still maintaining the status of an "eligible bachelor who still hasn't found the right girl."

Had a blind date with a guy who was the child of ministers. He lived in a house next door to his parents' that they bought for him with church money. He had a paper marriage to a Russian woman he met on the internet that still lived overseas because there were "problems with her visa". He also said he'd sent about $500 to some Russian twink he also met online because the kid needed help and it was the Christian thing to do.

R42 knows the difference between "lie" and "lay." It's so nice.

Met a man last spring, visited me from, of all places, Oklahoma City. Sweet guy, been treated badly by life and by other men. But, getting to know him, I slowly came to realize just how closeted he really was. Refused to show any kind of affection in public. Even though he'd had other, longterm relationships with men. Said he was voting for Trump, for Chrissakes!

How long does it take being around someone before you realize it's never going to go anywhere. Never.

I still think about him, but don't/won't contact him.

Thank God I don't have to run into him anywhere.

Closeted men tend to remain closeted their whole lifetimes, provided that they can still get the sex they desire without coming out. Some men spend their entire life in the closet. Must be stuffy.

R45, the most closeted person I've ever known lives in or near Oklahoma City. He is voting for Trump, also.

When I was in my 20s - and generally out - there was a guy - maybe 10 years older than me - who was the editor of one of the most important trade publications in the industry I worked on. I was in marketing and PR - so both the editor and the publication were important to my company, as we wanted visibility in this guy's magazine, etc. He was married and had two kids, Italian, VERY unattractive (balding, put-belly, short) but he did have a good sense of humor. I was somewhat naive at the time - but at some point I realized that he was coming on to me. I kinds of sloughed it off, smiled, etc. Anyway, one time I was a attending a trade show in NYC, and we were supposed to meet for breakfast at his hotel. So, I get there, call his room and he says he just about ready - but I can come up to his room and by the time I get there, he'll be ready (told you I was naive...) So, I go up to his room, knock on the door, and he opens it - SURPRISE - in a towel and nothing else. YUCK. He says, "Come on in. WIll just be a sec.." then he proceeds to ask me what I think of his body, if I want to feel his muscles, he asks me to take my shirt off. Finally, I tell him that I can wait downstairs while he finishes getting ready. I was so creeped out that I barely spoke at breadkfast and tried to avoid him from then on. I don't know if his wife knew about hid proclivities or not. He died at 60 in 2008,

R21, R4 here.

I always got a bit of a vibe from him because I saw some of myself in him. The quietness, not liking sports, I could see the wheels spinning in his head, watching him think about how he SHOULD react in certain situations. After we became roomies and he started acting weird, I ran into his old roommates -- and they confided in me that the guy had painfully attempted to come out to them by saying 'I think I'm gay.'

What was awful about it is he couldn't even look at them when he said it. And what made it worse (I guess they had no idea that I was gay) is they made fun of it when they were telling me. A chill went up my spine because this poor slob tried reaching out to people and likely found zero support.

This was all back in the late 80s when Donahue and Geraldo and other talk shows were still doing, what seemed like, weekly episodes on AIDS. People were still unsure as to how the virus was transmitted, but it was a given that the news was a death sentence. The climate was gay meant AIDS and AIDS meant death.

I think my roomie was scared and he stayed in the closet and never came out.

It was a path I could have taken but it was not for me.

All the guys in this story worked peripherally in entertainment and I saw guys in wardrobe, makeup, hair, accounting and other behind the scenes roles get sick; they got thin, they lost their hair, they wore bandannas on their heads

A trainer at my gym -- divorced with a daughter, whom he dotes on and adores -- regularly makes gay jokes.

I swear it's almost like he's hiding in plain gay sight.

He confided in me once that he did try gay sex (and said he didn't like it); he added that when he told his best gay friend about this experimentation that the friend cut him off, saying I can't believe you tried it and didn't try it with me.

The trainer/experimenter is in his mid 30s. That seems old to me to be experimenting.

The guy will probably come out in his late 40s when his daughter is off to college.

There are so many Ennis Del Mars (sp?) out there. I really believe that.

Oh. And another guy at my gym. He came out to me. No one ever had before. I didn't press, but said if he ever wanted to talk further please reach out.

Six months later, he's back with women and she's pregnant.

We're not that far and away from....Far and Away.

I know a straight guy who told me a guy who starts out having sex with women and then starts having sex with men is making a lifestyle choice. I told him that's not the way it works. I think his culture and religion keep him in the closet.

Well if you're actually gay, but you marry a woman and have kids just to please your family or please the society you live in, that's a lifestyle choice.

Sometime in the 90s I attended a Microsoft TechEd convention in New Orleans. On the first night there I met this nerd in the hotel lobby who asked me if I knew what there was to do. I told him he had to stay on Bourbon Street because a block or two over could be dangerous. I told him I would go with him and as we walked he told me about his wife and kids. I proceeded to tell him about my partner and where we lived (I'm lesbian) and he freaked out. He started ranting about everyone coming out to him and asked me why I did. I told him he told me about his life and I was telling him about mine. Only a closet case would have responded like that.

I told a coworker in the late 80s that I was gay. I assumed she knew when I told her. She had a meltdown and asked me why I told her I was gay. She tracked me down years later to tell me she was gay. I was not in the least bit surprised.

Once upon a time...there were two boyband members...both in the same band.... ....who fell in love.

So I was in Regina SK for a professional conference and I kept seeing this guy hanging out in the lobby staring at me - I saw him a few times. A good looking aborigine, I was unfamiliar with the type. After dinner I talked with him finally and he invited me up to his room. I figured it was for sex. While we were fucking he started asking me about God and religion and stuff. He was Catholic. I was surprised that Esquimaux could be Catholics also. I kept my cock thrusting in him to keep him quiet. He came while I was fucking him and I came soon after. He started bawling and said we should not have done what we did, started yelling at me to leave his room, which I quickly did.

the hottest guy I've ever had sex with -- ex-military, over 6 ft., over 210 lbs. -- told me he used to bang chicks in college because that's what was expected of him.

[quote]Closeted men tend to remain closeted their whole lifetimes

This is a rather silly blanket statement. Every man who has ever had or felt the need to "come out" was a closeted man at one point.

Closeted men over 30 tend to stay closeted, but even then it's not ironclad. Many men come out later in life, and we should encourage them.

A married man who was my friend's fuck buddy. My friend would call his friends up, and we would come over and gang bang him. He loved it: he was a total bottom and oral giver. He was a hunk whose wife would follow his car all over town because she knew he was on the down-low, because she had caught him once in bed with a man.

Clseted men stay closeted, as long as they can still get the sex without actually coming out.

R59, That's crazy. Did the wife ever catch him getting gangbanged?

R59 sounds nasty

I have a colleague in a different office of my company who has a wife and three kids. When he was visiting my office for work, I took him out. He confessed that he had some gay inclinations. We acted on those inclinations that night.

He's still off with his family, but calls me once in a blue moon to talk about gay stuff. He somehow divides his mind into straight and gay. He'll never leave his family.

Not me but a cock sucking friend of mine:

At a nude beach / lake in Vermont a guy was walking around naked swinging a huge dick. So my friend makes his move and gets him in the bushes.

Like any good cock sucker my friend is squatting down and providing excellent service but reaches and holds onto the guys hip to steady himself.

The guy swats his hand away and says "Don't touch my ass because I'm not gay."

My friend thinks: "OK, whatever works for you!" suck suck suck

An older (but still handsome) former college football player - he played at a bigtime program with lots of obsessive fans. Sexy but deeply conflicted and guilt-ridden, one of those guys who hates himself for being gay and takes it out on other people.

Football player in college - great looking guy, tried to get me drunk numerous times and kicked everyone out of the room so we could be alone. I was so naive. Flash forward - he marries a young woman that could easily pass as an adolescent boy. Short hair, no makeup, athletic. Sad.

"... been treated badly by life and by other men."

Because when you're closeted you have to take whatever you can get.

I met a married guy when I was around 16 ,who took me to a cheap motel,fucked me silly and very well , then started crying the second he came. Over the next decade or so,he would call me up every few months, take me to a cheap motel,fuck me silly,then burst into tears. I never asked him why he cried every time, he never offered a reason,but I knew it was because he fought his true sexuality. He used to eat me like a starving man at a buffet.

I know a guy who has been married four times to four different women but came out to me privately.

On June 29 1989, the Washington Times' Paul M. Rodriguez and George Archibald reported on a Washington D.C. prostitution ring that had intimate connections with the White House allegedly all the way up to President George H.W. Bush. According to the story, male prostitutes had been given access to the White House and the article also cited evidence of "abduction and use of minors for sexual perversion."

Photos of George W. Bush embracing Jeff Gannon, the gay escort turned fake news reporter, who was allowed unmitigated access to the White House press corps with no background investigation or credentials, were popular at the height of the Gannon/Guckert scandal.

I was walking hone from the Ramrod bar one night, when a 20-something man cam up to me and said something like, "there's a handsome young man, where are you going tonight?" By then it was already 2 am. He, and his wife, had also been in the Ramrod that night.

Apparently, he has a habit of asking the concierge at whatever hotel they stay at to recommend a "really wild bar" to go to. Since he was a big o'l queen, they sent him to the Ramrod. When they were in NYC, they were referred to Splash. He was thinking of going the next night to the Safari Club, a bathhouse.

They had two kids, and the wife recounted when it was that her parents concluded that he was not gay. She had no clue. Which he obviously was. I told him he had a responsibility to his family to be honest with them. This was 15 years ago. I can't imagine he's stil married today.

My first boyfriend. We were together for almost two years before we broke it off, and he was in the closet for every one of them.

I was at a bar one night of a restaurant; nice young guy tending bar. An older Mid-western salt of the earth married couple, maybe late 50s was at the bar, too.

The wife went to the ladies' room and her husband starts asking the bartender in a friendly, almost paternal voice: so how old are you son? how tall are you? you're pretty thin; how much do you weigh? What's your waist size?

I

you were left spechless?

Many frat boys at my college

Why do guys do this? If they really want a man, why do they go through the whole thing of marrying a woman and having kids? Why are they willing to sacrifice their own happiness just for that?

Because they view their gay feelings as a compulsion, not something that could ever make them happy.

[quote]And are they still closeted?

How the fuck would I know?

Years ago, back in the AOL chat room days, I started having conversations with a really handsome guy from New Jersey who had zero, zip, no gay vibe about him at all. He eventually wanted to meet in person and got a hotel room in the city where I live.

It was clear he was aching to come out, but he was like a cross between a Sopranos character and a football player. We had very gentle sex a couple of times on his visit and he wanted to walk around (the very dull) gayborhood in my city and just take it all in.

Right before he left he said he was in love with me. I had to tell him I didn't feel the same way, which crushed his puppy love.

Years later, I looked him up on Facebook and he'd come out big time, with a partner — but the photos of them all were in sports bars with him wearing Knicks jerseys and such. I'm glad he finally found his happiness.

I was pretty closeted and even got married to a woman. I was absolutely sure I would never come out. It was a mix of not wanting to shame my parents (that was made up in my mind because they have never been homophobic in the least--i had the "best little boy in the boy" syndrome) and because I thought I was trapped forever in this straight life because I had gotten married.

I also never had been exposed much to gay people in relationships and in gay communities. It wasn't until I took a new job in which I befriended a gay colleague who showed me neighborhoods and men in relationships that I decided to come out to my wife.

It took an entire year of gaining the courage to come out to her. I did. It was a rough year afterwards, but she ultimately became my biggest supporter and she remains among my best friends.

I "dated" a married cop for a while. I was working in the men's department at Bloomingdale's as a temp Xmas employee while I was in college and he was the rent-a-cop.

He said that if I ever told anyone he would go down to the beach and shoot himself in the head.

[quote]They had two kids, and the wife recounted when it was that her parents concluded that he was not gay.

Sorry for being thick, but I don't get this. How did this subject come up during this chance encounter?

Definitely this one. Took days to excavate.

Happy for you, R80!

R82, I also think it should be her parents concluded he WAS gay, no?

Interesting, but kinda sad, r5

Thinks she's still closeted.

There was a chef that worked in a local gay bar I used to frequent. He was gorgeous. I fancied him rotten. One night there was a lock-in after hours and I’d had a few bevvies. I started flirting with him, natch, and he was reciprocating - or so I thought.

I went to the toilet and as I were heading back to the table a friend of mine pulled me to one side. She said that he’d asked her to tell me to stop flirting with him because it was making him uncomfortable, what with him being a raging Heterosexual and all. He said he’d deck me if I came near him again. I stopped, of course, but he kept giving me filthy looks for the rest of the night, as though I’d asked to sit on his face or something.

The next time I went in it got really uncomfortable because he’d asked the barmaid to keep me away from him, as though I were some sex pest that wouldn’t leave him alone, when in reality I hadn’t spoken to him since the lock in. I had no idea what his issue was, although now I see that he was just being super defensive.

I avoided the place for a couple of months but ended up back there one night to find him working behind the bar. He was wearing a little tank top and had his dyed hair bleach blond. His new boyfriend was also sat at the bar - a guy that was 6 years younger than him, aged 16.

Unfortunately for that cunt He missed out on the blowjob of his life. I swerved a bullet though, I’m sure of that much. x

Mayor Pete claiming he didn't feel safe at Harvard in 2004.

I am two years older than Mayor Pete.

When the student recruiter from Harvard came to my high school to talk to us, the first thing she said was that she was bisexual and felt totally accepted on campus. (She was also goth, dyed black long hair, high striped socks weirdo.)

Give me a break.

I talked about this in another thread a while back, but the subject fits this category, too. This incident happened many years ago, at a time when police officers could lose their jobs for just being gay.

I had a lieutenant who was extremely homophobic. He went out of his way to give an anti-gay twist to anything sexually related, and his favorite form of insult and derision was to call someone a faggot or queer. Deducing that this awful behavior was probably the result of his white trash, Southern upbringing and lack of any sophistication, I never let his remarks get to me, and I just generally avoided him whenever possible.

One night, at my department's annual Christmas party, I sneaked outside to have a cigarette behind some tall hedges. It seems Lt. Dickweed had had the same idea and was already there, puffing away on a Marlboro. Both of us had been drinking, but were nowhere near drunk. We chatted for a few minutes about this and that, and the next thing I knew, Lt. Dickweed grabbed me by the back of the head and kissed me as passionately as I've ever been kissed. And I kissed back. Yeah, I did. Dickweed was an attractive guy, and if his temperament hadn't been such a turnoff, I might have taken note of just how hot he really was, even though I assumed he was totally straight. (Yeah, of course he was married). We then went back inside and rejoined the party.

From that point on, Lt. Dickweed REALLY went out of his way to avoid me. We worked different squads and shifts, so it was fairly easy to do. He eventually transferred to another department and I have no idea how he ever ended up. I could always stalk him down through Facebook or some such, but his whole situation depresses me too much.

College friend was always talking about gays, but he ad a girlfriend, who he used to take walking each night through the cruisey section of the park.

He's now married.

A creepy rapist gets called out and blames "fraus."

Classic rapist.

Meanwhile, I suppose the worst closet case I knew was a guy who drove me two hours to a literal ghost town (abandoned gold mining town in So. Cal.) to have a "quickie." Then became very judgemental because I didn't want to be his "on call" fuck buddy. I was pretty young so it was a learning experience on many levels. Like how entitled closet cases can be.

In college it was hard to tell which closet cases were in the process of coming out (early 80s) and which ones were setting up permanent residence in the closet. I tried to avoid the latter as much as possible.

Since closet cases are rarely relationship material--even just friendship-- I have no idea if they're still closeted or not.

Also, I think there was a study where there was a correlation between closet cases/low self esteem and risky sexual behavior. Many I've known may have gotten HIV. I remember a guy who came from a liberal Bay Area family, had HIV, was unmarried in his 50s and STILL was closeted.

That is commitment to the closet.

I dated a bisexual guy in college who, even after we broke up, was still trying to hook up with me when we would occasionally run into each other years later.

But if he was walking with a woman, he looked petrified if he saw me on the street.

It just confirmed the right decision when we broke up with him, and glad that I never hooked up with him after that.

[quote] one thing I did notice as a common thread: many of them seemed to have a best friend, another straight guy, who they were madly in love with. This guy, in their minds, was built up to be the stud of all studs with women, the best looking guy in the world and they saw themselves as his protector/BFF/sidekick. I knew they were fantasizing about this guy when they were with me (or any other guy)

Three years after you posted it, but 100%. I have met guys like this too (three times, but still) and all three guys were hot in their own right and the guy they were crushing on was not really all that much hotter. And all three times I suspected that the BFF may actually have been crushing back or at least curious about it, given how obvious it seemed that the closet case I was with was in love with him.

But that's weird, I thought I'd just hit on something random.

No so much closeted as conflicted and with a reason. There was a very handsome guy on my campus in the early ‘80s that everyone crushed on. He was openly gay in our large circle of friends, but everyone said that he had “problems.”

Low and behold one night I found myself hooking up with him and had amazing sex. Before we went to bed we talked and had a long conversation reassuring him that we had a great time and everything was alright. In the morning he was a basket case. It turns out that when he was a kid and very religious he thought he was gay and told the only person in his life whom he trusted, his priest, who then went on to molest him for years and pass him on to others. This handsome, beautiful man was a time bomb who would be fine, have sex and then explode like a grenade the next day. It was heartbreaking and no reassurance would assuage him.

Thirty years later on a road trip with a mutual college friend, we stopped to lunch with him after we found him on Facebook. He’s still a lovely, handsome guy, very successful, in a long term relationship with a man raising this guy’s teenage children, but here’s the catch. The partner is paralyzed from the neck down. He found the one person who he could completely trust and love who would be unable to do anything that might hurt or violate him in anyway. I wasn’t uncouth enough to ask if or how they have sex, but I hope they do. He was very much in love and seemed happy and I’m glad he found something to work for him. It was through him that I really understood what a vile thing the Catholic Church did with their sexual molestation issue.

I'm surprised none of those priests have had unlucky accidents.

[quote] I've been with a number of closet cases over the years, mostly Grindr hook-ups or similar. No great stories, but one thing I did notice as a common thread: many of them seemed to have a best friend, another straight guy, who they were madly in love with. This guy, in their minds, was built up to be the stud of all studs with women, the best looking guy in the world and they saw themselves as his protector/BFF/sidekick. I knew they were fantasizing about this guy when they were with me (or any other guy)

This scenario is hot. I wouldn't mind being the stand in for another guy in the dark. I wouldn't even say anything if he said the guy's name during sex. I'd go on pretending like it never happened.

As part of a larger Date-from-Hell story, the guy bragged that being divorced added to his "straight cred" in not being gay-appearing.

That’s so tragic, r95.

Stinkball gave good head.

The man was not raped. I have been raped and trust me a man shooting a load on your beard does not qualify as rape. I was forcibly fucked until my asshole bled. You minimize the trauma and horror of rape by making any comparison. So fuck off you holier than thou sanctimonious cunts. You don't even have a clue...faggots.

[Quote] We moved in and things were ok for a bit then he got WEIRD.

Weird, how?

If someone tells you they don't want to do something, you don't do it. Sorry. That's the new rule.

I knew a guy who was closeted...and then he died.

R95 fascinating and sad story.

Curious you bring up the disabled spouse, too, as reading this thread and your response in particular reminded me of the closeted able-bodied girl I knew in junior high school who ended up extremely religious (converting to Orthodox Judaism) and married to a man with severe disabilities. I always assumed she did it because she was so terrified to be lesbian, but looking back I think it was actually mental instability combined with possible abuse that no-one knew about.

When we were in all-girls’ school together and met first of all at around 12 or 13, we had a brief ‘best’ friendship for a couple of years. I liked her at first because she was a socially-active person vocal about what she believed, but in short order I soured on he and bailed because she got too weird. Among other things she stalking me between classes and after school (and a couple of other girls, I later found out), monopolising my time, going through my notebooks and personal things in my locker and bag, trying to feel me up or watch me baked in the shower during our occasional sleepovers, telling other friends & classmates they couldn’t hang out with me - full single white female bullshit - while at the same time preaching celibacy, focusing on studies over relationships, and the wonders of restrained respectable old-fashioned heterosexual courtship.

At the time we were both oblivious babydykes closeted to ourselves as well as others, but I was far more open-minded about it and closer to acceptance so this hypocrisy and creepy horseshit did not sit well with me (plus I wasn’t attracted to her like that, at all). After a couple of exhausting and uncomfortable years I dumped her crazy ass to hang out with other girls instead. Then, being an NPD/borderline headcase, of course she coincidentally went off the deep end and starting cutting, starving herself, attempting suicide etc. It was so sudden and extreme, almost out of nowhere. She got so thin she looked like the Darfur orphan, and looked like she’d taken a saw to her wrists.

When a year of this bipolar batshittery became too much for our quaint little school to handle, she got shipped off for a summer to a recovery centre, from which she came back super Christian and super into volunteering to help people with physical and mental challenges (which I guess is admirable, if you took the creepy behaviour aside...:).

The Mary Sunshine facade she strove to cultivate was fully entrenched by then, as if the dark weirdness of our early mid-teens never happened (when I told them the story, my new highschool friends thought I was making it all up). Said wacko eventually graduated with decent grades, ended up on a free-ride scholarship to an all-female theology College (which she got because of her health issues), getting baptised/born-again/conversion-therapied (Emmett Honeycutt style), then swearing celibacy until marriage.

Last I checked on Facebook, she is married to a wheelchair-bound man with severe difficulties in communication and basic functions (maybe cerebral palsy?) who needs 24/7 care and sadly cannot have a normal adult life. Now, I’m not condemning intimate relationships between the disabled and the able, as I had a sister with severe CP who I wish had found a partner of any health status before her death. No, the problem imo is that I know this girl I knew in school is more attracted to if not exclusively attracted to women, and what’s more is a danger to others who uses her mental health issues to her own advantage. I feel sorry for the dude, he has no escape but either of their deaths.

Perhaps she was severely abused by someone as a teen, and I just never found out about it. Don’t think it was her folks, though; I met her parents dozens of times, and they seemed lovely decent people overwhelmed and downtrodden by their insane controlling manipulative daughter (honestly, I felt sorry for them and not her).

lmao I meant ‘naked in the shower’ and not ‘baked’. That might have made the story a little better😆