Arpad Miklos and other suicides

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Porn performers are sex workers. Most of them escort. It's not surprising people who sell themselves for money, especially for a long time, aren't happy.

grounded=I thought he was hawt?

Crystal

HIV

Self loathing

Different people commit suicide for different reasons. The same goes for porn stars. Some panic because they are losing their looks or simply get too old for porn and escorting and they believe they can't do anything else, some are involved in criminal activities and fear an even worse fate, some struggle with depression, addictions, family drama, etc,

R5 Thanks for the thoughtful response. Some of the reasons you mention (depression, addiction, aging, family drama) are problems for most gay men. Why do porn actors seem disproportionately at risk? Could it be framed as a chicken and egg thing? Do depressive and low self-esteem people more often do porn?

That was beautiful, R1.

Anyway we can petition the Academy to air that at this Spring's Oscar ceremony?

No one in porn is grounded

R8 Even Colby Keller? He is now on HBO.

Arpad ruined his career with his heterosexual porn where he barebacked with a woman but used condoms in his gay porn.

His career never recovered after that debacle. Suicide time.

Here's what I think. When these guys get in to porn, or are 'cajoled' in to getting in to porn, they are fairly young, and not very world-wise. Often coming from marginal backgrounds, in obscure-ish countries. They do porn, they start escorting, they start seeing the world, meet people of a better station in life. Over time, they want to better themselves, or at least have a chance to get out of the sex and porn ghetto. Want to be like normal guys. But their past is always there. They're always just whores in the end. And they are shunned in polite society, and even by the gays. It must be pretty hard to get past that.

[quote]es for money, especially for a long time, aren't happy.

"aren't happy and suicide are two very different things

Don't they all find enormously wealthy, older but still hot husbands and settle down to lives of fabulous leisure, DL?

They are ALL on drugs. Get that? ALL.

Crack, meth, ice, heroin, coke, any combination.

Arpad was truly special-- just beautiful. He could have had the world but chose a dead end career, literally

R15 And ruined that career by choosing to do heterosexual porn, turning off a large portion of his gay male audience who then rejected him.

He made his own bed.

Some porn stars are exhibitionists who take real pleasure from being filmed and watched while having sex. I suspect that's the case with Colby Keller, although of course I have no actual knowledge.

Some porn stars were molested when they were young and it messed them up. Some feel like this is the only thing they are good at and by getting paid for sex they are following the abuse pattern. I would say that it's pretty obvious that at least some performers in fetish porn that involves violence or humiliation were molested, but I'm sure there are some who work in "regular" porn.

Drugs and other additions are also a big factor. If a young person of 18 entered porn in order to pay for his drugs, he is more likely to use more drugs in order to be able to perform and work as a sex worker. That's a sure downward spiral that ends in either an overdose or suicide.

Because they're fuddup, OP.

A large percentage of gay porn stars are either bi-polar or schizophrenic (or both) Few to none of the them have any type of medical insurance,, and many have no marketable skills that would enable them to work for a regular company to get good benefits. Then most of them work as whores primarily and only do porn to advertise their wares because face it, the days of good money in porn are long gone. Put that together with the rampant drug usage in that group you'll end up with a higher percentage of suicides.

[quote]Why do porn actors seem disproportionately at risk?

Because they are being judged for doing porn and some who judge them watch and jerk off to porn in private. Being constantly judged can wear even the strongest down. Some pornstars start to resent those who judge them or turn their anger to themselves which could result or worsen already existing substance abuse issues. It's no different than what some openly gay men have to go through when they are being constantly judged for being gay. Unless you manage to value your own happiness over other people's approval you will blame yourself for the negative feedback coming from people.

[quote] Some porn stars are exhibitionists

ALL porn stars are exhibitionists. It's a requirement to be able to do the job.

Why do you think most answers are not correct, OP? I imagine the answers here are close to what you have already read.

I believe a lot of guys who do gay porn think it's an easy way to earn money. But they don't realize how it can fuck with your head. And all that money one makes with porn and escorting is worth jack shit when you spend it on drugs to numb your (mental) pain, or buy shit to impress others, overcompensate, self medicate, or see a shrink for your anxiety or depression issues.

What about those gay porn stars with the fashion lines and the lecturing appearances?

One porn star in his 40s replied to a question I had about his clothing line on his website (which also sold his porn DVDs as well as memberships to his site for exclusive videos and content). Soon, he started texting me with all of these drugged-up stories and all of his sex on the side that his (former porn star and current highly-paid porn director) husband knew nothing about.

Here he was, married with a good business, and he was still all fucked up sexually and chemically.

They are ALL fucked-up.

Once they're no longer in demand in the first-rate pictures, why don't they tour in summer stock?

It's a good way to stay in touch with your fan base! You bank your per diem and live the bohemian life for a few months on the ole "straw hat" circuit!

Just a troupe of traveling players, like the old days.

Some of you have dedicated far too many of your little gray cells to this topic.

[quote]What's the reason so many men in porn commit suicide? I have my own ideas and read lots of theories. But no answer seems correct.

[quote]What do the men of DL think? (I am not talking about possibly accidental drug overdoses or health problems due to steroid abuse; self destructive behavior is its own subject among gay men.)

I know what you mean. I'm constantly trying to fit people into neat little boxes and figure out pop psychology reasons why they won't fit.

It's so frustrating that people aren't all exactly the same and mess up my otherwise simple taxonomies.

[quote]Some of you have dedicated far too many of your little gray cells to this topic.

why do you think so?

Something not mentioned yet, but Arpad and Wilfried Knight both were immigrants, and there are issues that go along with that. On top of the sex work, fading looks from aging, the process of getting a green card for gay men can be extremely stressful. At the time they both committed suicide the Defense of Marriage Act was still on the books and same-sex marriage was lawful in few states. For Knight, it was THE cause... his love already committed suicide weeks earlier and that probably did a number on his self-esteem too.

Sobriety is tough. Sobriety culture can be even tougher. AA loves you when you're loving AA but is a cold sociopath when you question it.

The guy at 3:03 in the video is not Jeremy Scott, he's Brian Hawks. Brian just disappeared from porn circa 1986. I wore out my VCR tape of "Brian's Boys."

I think about thinking about killing mysel not because I'm old gay unemployed and sad - I think about doing it because I can't stand not being loved

This is a generalization, but overall people who get into pornography largely locate their self-worth in their appearances; the same can be said of a lot of mainstream actors. This is an inherent vulnerability because typically people who are narcissistic enough to make their bodies their livelihoods have complex relationships with their self-worth--they can be self-aggrandizing and narcissistic about their appearances and at the same time also totally insecure about themselves and fearful of aging and otherwise losing their looks. This applies to many of us, but most of us have not invested in our appearances as a full-time job and most of us are not celebrities, treated better than others, and paid for how we look. We have to hone other qualities and the talents and skills we develop carry us through after beauty fades.

People who exploit their appearances for their careers very often have extremely unbalanced lives. They spend more time both appreciating and criticizing themselves than most people have time to do, and they receive privileged treatment for how they look. They are celebrated simply for being, given things and all sorts of temptations that can lead to self-indulgent and self-destructive behaviors.

Sometimes when these people age, they cannot cope with being less "special" than they once were, and those whose careers are body-centric often lose their careers. If they haven't cultivated any other qualities that make them feel worthwhile, then they may feel extreme loss and longing for the past and may never recover.

Arpad could've at least donated his dick to someone in need.

R32 Adopt a dog and find out how amazingly lovable you are.

[quote]And ruined that career by choosing to do heterosexual porn, turning off a large portion of his gay male audience who then rejected him. He made his own bed.

r16, yes, because gay4pay/bi guys are so unpopular in gay porn.

R36 You make a good point? All the Sean Cody and Corbin Fisher models are str8 in real life.

For fuck's sake, it's PORN.

This is not the makings of a long, sustainable career, or a hobby that reinforces one's well being.

Being appreciated (or judged) for your dick or ass only fucks with your mind and sense of well being. Toss drugs and booze into the picture and the more logical question is why EVERY porn performer doesn't self-destruct.

But those models aren't saying they are gay in real life like Arpad was always proclaiming. His gay fans seemed to reject him after his heterosexual porn. And he killed himself a few years later after seeing his popularity drop massively.

Couldn't it be that his popularity dropped because he was getting older? Or over exposed?

He was a successful chemist in Hungary. So he could have returned to that career.

Well they're porn stars so it's not like they were all that stable emotionally or psychologically to start with.

[quote]A large percentage of gay porn stars are either bi-polar or schizophrenic (or both)

LOL. You posted that.

Arpad Safe for Work

R41 He was, but that was before porn. I'm sure he'd be questioned about long absence from the field and probably need to learn about all the changes in the field since he last worked in it. Work wouldn't be instantly available to him. Plus one of his friends said he had been suffering from depression for some time, who know if he could've handled all the pressure of starting over?

OP=Worse than Hitler.

Joseph Sciambra is a pestilential shitpile of a human being who needs to die.

R 32: Please get help. There are people who love you. As a mother of a gay son who struggles with many issues, I care about you even though I don't know you. I see my son's pain in many souls, including yours. If therapist A doesn't work, keep TRYING until you find someone you are comfortable with. (Please no mean comments to me)

We suspect that many of those unfortunate tarts either saw or heard something or someone they shouldn't have..... and therefore they were 'suicided' to ensure silence.

Erna may be wrong, but now that the CIA can whack people and it would be illegal for anyone to tell you, it cannot be ruled out.

The only time I've ever heard the "heterosexual porn" theory about Arpad is on Datalounge.

He was always a strict top in his videos but a friend of mine swears Arpad bottomed for him.

I read it on Naked Sword when he killed himself.

Who was he? Did he do porno back with Al Parker?

There are a million reasons why a person decides to take their own lives.

Only a person who is borderline braindead - or looks at the world as if they're a fifteen year old girl - would think that someone would kill themselves because their porn career isn't popular anymore.

Clearly he was struggling with depression, or some chemical issues, and it overwhelmed him.

***NSFW***

I remember how stunningly beautiful he was back in the 90s, in the Kristen Bjorn films. This scene was amazing.

Did r54 not finish grammar school? Not surprising.

Since when does a plural pronoun modify a singular noun?

Fuck yourself, cunt at R56.

Use the same tetanus covered, rusty iron spike dildo you always do.

How sad that r57's lack of educatia means that she must express herself with potty mouth!

not all porn models are the same. not all suicides are the same.

think of all the porn stars you never hear of anymore, they just pass into the normalcy of every day life without much worry

The only happy whore is a dead whore.

[quote]All the Sean Cody and Corbin Fisher models are str8 in real life

I don't know whether to laugh or to feel very sad for you that you actually believe that.

New York is far too expensive for people in the sex industry. He should have moved to Erie, PA

Or Peoria, IL.

Or Burlington VT

What R4 said. rest in peace.

Lots of idiots here

haha true R66, especially the one that actually believes that men in Czech porn and porn sites like Sean Cody, etc. are all really straight/hetero.

Those who become sex workers and sex performers are often already damaged for a variety of reasons. And their lifestyle goes hand-in-hand with drug addition and alcoholism. The high suicide rate in this business is hardly surprising.

It's funny this thread was resurrected. A couple of weeks ago I watched Klute, the movie where Jane Fonda played a prostitute. It's a really good movie. But one of the most interesting aspects was that her character "Brie" has a therapist. There are a couple of scenes in the movie where she grapples with her sex worker role and it's fascinating. If every suicide in modern age porn invested in a therapist there would probably be fewer of them.

Truth hurts R66.

I'm neither a whore nor an associate of any, but the comments here show a deep abiding ignorance of the world around us

Because they're shallow, weak and stupid.

Everybody heaped attention and money on them for their looks, so they came to believe that's all they are valuable for.

Then, when they age out and opportunities start drying up, they lose hope. They didn't prepare and they expected life to just keep getting better. But porn and prostitution is a fast burn.

Miklos said himself that he was depressed because he expected a sugar daddy to scoop him up years before he killed himself. Ms. Thing also expected this sugar daddy to be a twink! As if many thinks have money and he's assured one.

Gurl was delusional, self-pitying and probably afraid of hard work, too.