Honey, run down to the store and get me a Boss Pepsi and a pack of Kents before Another World comes on.
Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.
Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.
Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.
Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.
Honey, run down to the store and get me a Boss Pepsi and a pack of Kents before Another World comes on.
|by I was 9||reply 183||8 hours ago|
That James Garner is a very handsome man.
|by I was 9||reply 1||08/26/2016|
What's a boss pepsi?
|by I was 9||reply 2||08/26/2016|
Vantage and Pepsi Light.
|by I was 9||reply 3||08/26/2016|
You and your mother are from the South.
Yankees don't say "Run go ......" .
My brother used to tell "Run go die!" when I pissed him off.
|by I was 9||reply 4||08/26/2016|
Would you like to try on my glasses? You may if you wish.
Long ago I was a little girl just like you!
Do you want to hear a secret? I know one.
It would be such fun to play jump rope, don't you think?
|by I was 9||reply 5||08/26/2016|
I want that yard picked up NOW!
|by I was 9||reply 6||08/26/2016|
You're a bottom just like your father.
|by I was 9||reply 7||08/26/2016|
No, he's not really your uncle, but please call him that.
|by I was 9||reply 8||08/26/2016|
Rock Hudson is not gay and neither is Merv Griffin. They were both married at one time.
|by I was 9||reply 9||08/26/2016|
Hurry, Zsa Zsa is on Merv today.
|by I was 9||reply 10||08/26/2016|
YOU HEARD ME
|by I was 9||reply 11||08/26/2016|
What do you mean you're not going to get married? Oh, so you're just going to go out and get AIDS, then?
|by I was 9||reply 12||08/26/2016|
Sweetie, remember this
Always fuck up
|by I was 9||reply 13||08/26/2016|
Multiple times a day my mother would come into a room sit down then realize she left her cigarettes in another room, and I would hear. "would you go get my cigarettes" hopefully that is what kept me from taking up that nasty habit.
|by I was 9||reply 14||08/26/2016|
Be home by 10:00 PM. Or else.
|by I was 9||reply 15||08/26/2016|
Why couldn't you have been a puppy?
|by I was 9||reply 16||08/26/2016|
Go make your bed.
Why? I'm just going to mess it up again when I sleep.
Don't be fresh.
|by I was 9||reply 17||08/26/2016|
People are going to call you Pantywaist!!
|by I was 9||reply 18||08/26/2016|
"Hey yoused kids! Get in the house!"
|by I was 9||reply 19||08/26/2016|
Let's watch Another World! Don't tell your father.
|by I was 9||reply 20||08/26/2016|
Hate to take the humor out, but when she would tuck us in at night... We would tell her that we loved and her response would be," I love you more". We put it on her headstone.
|by I was 9||reply 21||08/26/2016|
[quote]People are going to call you Pantywaist
Better or worse than being called a nancy boy?
|by I was 9||reply 22||08/26/2016|
You can't help being "that way." It's a birth defect.
|by I was 9||reply 23||08/26/2016|
I should have known you'd know where to find the boys and the booze!
|by I was 9||reply 24||08/26/2016|
|by I was 9||reply 25||08/26/2016|
Look what you're doing to me!
|by I was 9||reply 26||08/26/2016|
|by I was 9||reply 27||08/26/2016|
Be a dear, and go suck daddy's dick. Mommy wants to finish watching her soaps.
|by I was 9||reply 28||08/27/2016|
Never quit a job unless you've lined up something definite to replace it.
|by I was 9||reply 29||08/27/2016|
Buck never would've BEEN in the hospital!
|by I was 9||reply 30||08/30/2016|
"You can drown in a teaspoon of water!"
|by I was 9||reply 31||08/30/2016|
"Mothers are always right"
|by I was 9||reply 32||08/30/2016|
OP, a neighbor named Rachel killed herself by turning on the engine in her car and going to sleep with the garage door shut; when another neighbor found out Rachel had died she thought it was Rachel on Another World.
|by I was 9||reply 33||08/30/2016|
Qiet! Mike Douglas show is on.
|by I was 9||reply 34||08/30/2016|
....I don't love you any less.
|by I was 9||reply 35||08/30/2016|
Wait until your father gets home!
|by I was 9||reply 36||08/31/2016|
You don't have the common sense you were born with.
|by I was 9||reply 37||05/19/2020|
She was always uncomfortable when she saw men dancing on TV. So she'd say, "They must be strong".
|by I was 9||reply 38||05/19/2020|
You’re very foolish.
I’ll pray a rosary for you.
Can’t you get yourself ready in the morning? (I was 5. It was my first day at school. It went in for another 11 years).
You have to take a public bus to go to catholic high school an hour away. I don’t want you going to school 2 blocks away with n——rs and s—cs and hippie democrats.
|by I was 9||reply 39||05/19/2020|
"Wait until your father gets home!"
Dad, after a long day of work: Stop pissing off your mother.
|by I was 9||reply 40||05/19/2020|
My mom used to say, "Stop bumping old threads on Datalounge."
|by I was 9||reply 41||05/19/2020|
"I'm in the middle of a row!"
|by I was 9||reply 42||05/19/2020|
My mother insisted I call my grandparents by their last name “Grandma Jones” & “Grandpa Smith.” Calling them by their first name “Grandma Rose” and “Grandpa Ben” would be disrespectful. She would probably have had me call my aunts and uncles by their last names too, but there were too many of them with the same last name, since her mother had a litter of them.
One of my grandpas was first named Bernard, so it would’ve sounded weird to call him Grandpa Bernard. Like St Bernard.
|by I was 9||reply 43||05/19/2020|
And he pronounced it “BARE-nid”
Which was weirder.
|by I was 9||reply 44||05/19/2020|
"Don't drink calories."
|by I was 9||reply 45||05/19/2020|
"You're a hot ticket!"
|by I was 9||reply 46||05/19/2020|
"Get your hand out of that secret serviceman's pants right this minute!"
|by I was 9||reply 47||05/19/2020|
|by I was 9||reply 48||05/19/2020|
Whenever I argued with my father and went to her to get her take on his decision, she always said, "I don't get between trees and their bark, it's an extremely uncomfortable position". Love you, MOM.
|by I was 9||reply 49||05/19/2020|
"Here's the _____ that ya' had to have!"
|by I was 9||reply 50||05/19/2020|
|by I was 9||reply 51||05/19/2020|
If your mother said this, you MUST be an eldergay.
|by I was 9||reply 52||05/19/2020|
My mother was known to say, “you better just knock it off. I don’t have time to go to the hospital today!”
Grandma used to say, “quit your crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about!” This was usually followed by a whack on the head with a wooden spoon.
We was po.
|by I was 9||reply 53||05/19/2020|
"Run down to the store and buy me some Tampax. I'm gushing!"
|by I was 9||reply 54||05/19/2020|
If you don’t stop that whining, I’ll give you something to whine about.
|by I was 9||reply 55||05/19/2020|
Put gas in my car (gauge is on E) and bring me a cappuccino.
|by I was 9||reply 56||05/19/2020|
As I was going off to art school, my mother told me that there were many homosexuals in art schools. I had to be careful not to get between two boyfriends because they were violent and I'd most likely get caught in the middle when they started shooting.
|by I was 9||reply 57||05/19/2020|
"Remember who you are!" -- she always said it to me before I went out with friends in the evening
|by I was 9||reply 58||05/19/2020|
"I like having nice tits.
I like having tits in a nice dress."
|by I was 9||reply 59||05/19/2020|
Now put the other fist in.
|by I was 9||reply 60||05/19/2020|
Why don’t you protect me? Still doing it 50 years later.
|by I was 9||reply 61||05/19/2020|
If you’re not going to tell me what you’re talking to Dr Saperstein (child psychologist) about, how am I ever going to be able to help you?
I was already seeing a shrink in the second grade.
|by I was 9||reply 62||05/19/2020|
Get up off your ass and change the channel.
You’re gonna sit there until you finish those vegetables.
|by I was 9||reply 63||05/19/2020|
"Go outside and play. Don't come back till I call you."
|by I was 9||reply 64||05/19/2020|
Don't make me break my foot off in your ass!!
|by I was 9||reply 65||05/19/2020|
Yeah, I got that one on the day my grandfather died, R61. No mourning for me, just get out the checkbook and get to work.
|by I was 9||reply 66||05/19/2020|
We were Catholic.
|by I was 9||reply 67||05/19/2020|
After eveything I went throught to have a child and I had you...
|by I was 9||reply 68||05/19/2020|
On Christmas Eve, she’d read The Night Before Christmas, and when she got to “Filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk” she’d stop and say, “That was the year your father went with him.” He’d shake his head and look disgusted. They were married 72 years.
|by I was 9||reply 69||05/19/2020|
When I was going to have to do something I really didn't want to do and was complaining about it she would say "why are you upset, it's just a tiny moment out of the rest of your life".
And when I was really acting childish about something I disliked she would look at me and say "learn to love it".
|by I was 9||reply 70||05/19/2020|
Your face is going to freeze like that.
|by I was 9||reply 71||05/19/2020|
After she would sit down and realize she didn't have her cigarettes, "Will you bring mommy her cigarettes?"
|by I was 9||reply 72||05/19/2020|
Turn off that television!
|by I was 9||reply 73||05/19/2020|
Never vote republican!
|by I was 9||reply 74||05/19/2020|
The most shocking thing my mother ever said to me, I was 12, was
[quote] "Your father went to the doctor and the doctor told him there was no reason he couldn't start having sex again but if he thinks I am going through all that for five minutes of wham bam thank you mam he is crazy"
I stopped asking for a little brother after that.
|by I was 9||reply 75||05/19/2020|
When I complained about the food that was served: “You have two choices... take it or leave it!”
When I wasn’t in the clean plate club: “Your eyes were bigger than your stomach.”
When doing a half-assed job at something: “Close enough for government work.” Or “It’ll do until the real thing comes along.”
When doing a very half-assed job at parallel parking: “You’re allowed to be up to 18” away from the curb.”
|by I was 9||reply 76||05/19/2020|
Don't put thing in poosey until you see the moneys on table.
|by I was 9||reply 77||05/19/2020|
Eat my whole pussy! Stop wasting it!
|by I was 9||reply 78||05/19/2020|
Your father has a small dick.
|by I was 9||reply 79||05/19/2020|
They're all going to laugh at you!
|by I was 9||reply 80||05/19/2020|
"At your age we used to walk to school in the snow, without shoes!"
|by I was 9||reply 81||05/19/2020|
"Take him with you!" - whenever I went to the store.
|by I was 9||reply 82||05/19/2020|
Did I take trig?
|by I was 9||reply 83||05/19/2020|
Not tonight! I’m on the rag!
|by I was 9||reply 84||05/19/2020|
You'll die alone and it can't be soon enough to suit me.
|by I was 9||reply 85||05/19/2020|
Me: Mom! But I, but I....
Mom: Aye aye aye, Dolores!
|by I was 9||reply 86||05/19/2020|
Honey don't eat bats, pangolins or other nasty ass critters or you'll get coronavirus.
|by I was 9||reply 87||05/19/2020|
Don't be silly....
|by I was 9||reply 88||05/19/2020|
get me a pack of smokes!
|by I was 9||reply 89||05/19/2020|
Don’t make me go to your school and knock the dicks out of your mouth
|by I was 9||reply 90||05/19/2020|
No, Liberace is not a homosexual!
It’s just part of his act. He plays the part of a flamboyant showman.
|by I was 9||reply 91||05/19/2020|
"I will fucking kill you"
|by I was 9||reply 92||05/19/2020|
"Oh just let your Dad have his fun. You don't have to swallow it."
|by I was 9||reply 93||05/19/2020|
I have one of those r68. Put my poor father in an early grave but that nasty viper is still going. The day can't come soon enough. I sympathize greatly.
|by I was 9||reply 94||05/19/2020|
[quote] If you’re not going to tell me what you’re talking to Dr Saperstein (child psychologist) about, how am I ever going to be able to help you?
Dr. Saperstein? Wasn't he on "Open End"?
|by I was 9||reply 95||05/19/2020|
Why can’t you give me the RESPECT that I’m entitled to?! Why can’t you treat me like i would be treated by any STRANGER ON THE STREET?!
|by I was 9||reply 96||05/19/2020|
My mother is/was a Grammar Nazi.
Me: “Ma, can I have some more ?”
Ma: “MAY I have some more? And don’t call me ‘Ma!’, I can’t STAND it. Call me anything but that.”
She did not stop correcting me until I was around 40. I’m saying I couldn’t express a single thought in multiple sentences without her harshly correcting me (there was always something I did or said incorrectly) until I was 40 — meditate on how that shaped me over four decades. As awful as she can be though, I am truly grateful that she taught me that doing things correctly and properly really does matter.
Thanks MA, you fucking bitch!
|by I was 9||reply 97||05/19/2020|
So... all that serial killing you've done hasn't colored your view on this R97?
|by I was 9||reply 98||05/19/2020|
Colored my views on what exactly lolol?? I’m just sharing that I happened to grow up with an uber OCD and critical mother. I know I’m not alone.
|by I was 9||reply 99||05/19/2020|
"Dolly Baby, hook Nana's garters in the back." Said to me by my grandmother; she wore one of those suits-of-armor corsets.
"Don't be a naughty boy!" Said to me by my Mother when I would sneak into the bathroom as she was taking a shower and stand on the toilet seat to look at her tits and bush and dump a glass of cold water down her back.
|by I was 9||reply 100||05/19/2020|
So what? It's not like you've never seen me high before and it's not like you'll never see it again.
|by I was 9||reply 101||05/19/2020|
"Zip me up, doll. Mama's gotta go earn your lunch money."
|by I was 9||reply 102||05/19/2020|
"You listen to me. Don't shit where you eat."
And she was right.
|by I was 9||reply 103||05/19/2020|
R100 is gross
|by I was 9||reply 104||05/19/2020|
I've blocked most of it out. Mine had clinical logorrhea for many years. She would discuss at length and in detail any thought that popped into her head, no matter how grossly inappropriate. Oddly now that she's older this tendency is not as bad as it once was.
|by I was 9||reply 105||05/19/2020|
If I want anything out of you, I’ll knock it.
|by I was 9||reply 106||05/19/2020|
“Across that subject, let us draw a veil.”
“Discretion is the better part of valor.”
“Let us discuss the word, percipience.”
“Hi-diddle-de-dee, an actor’s life for me!”
“Dames is pizen.”
“Girls have a hard time generally.”
|by I was 9||reply 107||05/19/2020|
R105 But what if YOU have it, also, so you just don't notice hers anymore?
|by I was 9||reply 108||05/19/2020|
[quote] And don’t call me ‘Ma!’, I can’t STAND it. Call me anything but that.”
That's funny, because my mom always wanted her kids to call her "Ma," and none of us ever would. We always called her "Mom," even when she signs her letters as "Ma."
|by I was 9||reply 109||05/19/2020|
"It will get well before you get married."
And, you know, she was right!
|by I was 9||reply 110||05/19/2020|
“Do you know how expensive organic milk is? I had to raise you on literally nothing, so, huff huff, I just think it’s irresponsible for you to pay for ORGANIC milk. You can’t afford it, that’s all.”
|by I was 9||reply 111||05/19/2020|
“I should have stopped at one.”
|by I was 9||reply 112||05/19/2020|
You'll have people talking about us!
We're going to end-up in the poorhouse.
Don't act like a bunch of heatherns.
|by I was 9||reply 113||05/19/2020|
“I never should have had kids!”
To be fair, this wasn’t said to me, she was bitching with my “Uncle” because our oven was falling apart, a hanger held the door on, and my wild lesbian linebacker clown girlfriend ripped the door off when we were goofing around, we were maybe 13. So mom was freaking and completely drained, I get it. But I was lurking after I hid in my room, and overheard her say it. Shit like that sticks with you forever, even when intellectually you understand the person doesn’t actually mean that, it was just them having a very low moment.
I had a therapist who I shared that story with....she told me that she had a client who had a brother who drowned when he was quite young, maybe 8. He was there when his brother drowned, and when the adults finally came, his father was so hysterical and shocked, that he turned to his son and said, “this is YOUR fault! You should have been watching him!”
Many years later, father and son discussed that, and the father had zero memory of saying that, and apologized to his son. The moral of the story from the therapist was that this man carried his father’s words from that day with him for decades — and the father had no recollection that he said something so awful, we must face these experiences so we can move on from then. We carry these wounds with us, and they will never heal unless we face them. Words have power, especially when they come from a parent.
Sorry to derail, this thread is about MAs, not POPs.
|by I was 9||reply 114||05/19/2020|
"Mama, I'm bored, what can I do?"
"Take a shit, & pull it in two."
|by I was 9||reply 115||05/19/2020|
Oh honey, (sigh). You’re a girl. You’re never going to have the advantages your brother did. And everyone already KNOWS him. Try to look decent.
|by I was 9||reply 116||05/19/2020|
What's the matter, your arms broke?
|by I was 9||reply 117||05/19/2020|
You get more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.
|by I was 9||reply 118||05/19/2020|
Mom: "Don't talk back to me!" Me: "Why not? I can if I want to!"
My parents never hit me, but in my case they should have.
|by I was 9||reply 119||05/19/2020|
It's been four years so R2 is probably dead now, but "Boss Pepsi" refers to a 64-ounce size Pepsi called "The Boss" that was out briefly in the 1970s.
|by I was 9||reply 120||05/19/2020|
Always douche between gentleman callers. It’s just the polite thing to do, unless one of them wants to pay a little extra for a snowball.
Be sure when you film me eating the mayor’s asshole out, you shoot me from the left, it’s my best side and I want to look great when I show it to his lawyer.
It’s isn’t very lady like to not let a man shit on your face if he bought you a nice dinner AND let you pick out two desserts. You will get a reputation as being difficult if you keep that behavior up.
Always say your prayers before bed
|by I was 9||reply 121||05/19/2020|
The Port of Authority
- Nathan Lane's mother
|by I was 9||reply 122||05/19/2020|
Don't play ball in the house
|by I was 9||reply 123||06/25/2020|
"I almost DIED giving birth to you! And this is how you act!"
|by I was 9||reply 124||06/25/2020|
I tried my best but you just never listened. You don't even have looks to fall back on, you big ugly thing.
|by I was 9||reply 125||06/25/2020|
OMG! WHAT'S WRONG????!!!!!!!!
How my Mom answered the phone.
|by I was 9||reply 126||06/25/2020|
No one will ever love you for anything except your money.
|by I was 9||reply 127||06/25/2020|
[quote]"I almost DIED giving birth to you! And this is how you act!"
Meant to add she really did almost die giving birth to me. I started coming out BUTT FIRST and the doctors had to shove me back in and turn me around.
I WAS BORN PRESENTING HOLE!
|by I was 9||reply 128||06/25/2020|
'Did I leave a cigarette burning?' - Just as my father was about to turn on to the expressway, a mile from our home.
'No, I am not going to drive you to school. A little rain never hurt anybody'
'It's not burned, it's well done'
'Your father and I were not arguing. We were discussing'.
'Answer the phone while I get my cigarettes'
|by I was 9||reply 129||06/25/2020|
Every year on my birthday, she'd call and say, "Well, I feel better today than I did [insert my age here] years ago today!" Thanks, Mom.
|by I was 9||reply 130||06/25/2020|
"I told you. But you wouldn't listen. If you had just listened to me...."
My mother might have qualified for sainthood. Her only failing was that goddamned, "I told you...."
|by I was 9||reply 131||Last Friday at 5:01 AM|
"I'm not running a hotel!" Said when we asked what was for dinner and didn't like what she made.
"There are starving children in India!" Said when I refused to eat the peas and carrots, Lima beans, or any other vegetable that had been boiled beyond recognition or nutritional value. I so wanted to say "Well send this crap to them!" But I wanted to keep my teeth.
"No calls after 10:00 pm." - Mom always said only bad things happened after 10 o'clock. True to her word, when she died, the assisted living facility called me. It was 10:31 pm.
"Well, you've got 10 minutes to get home!" I had gone out and gotten lost driving home. I knew I was going to miss curfew so I called.
"I love you." She always said this to us kids (4) when we went up to bed at night.
|by I was 9||reply 132||Last Friday at 5:23 AM|
"I love you."
"I'm proud of you."
|by I was 9||reply 133||Last Friday at 5:51 AM|
R133, your Mom IS the BEST! Seriously!
|by I was 9||reply 134||Last Friday at 6:05 AM|
Mom would ask me to go knock on the doors of certain neighbors to ask them to borrow a pack of smokes for her.
Embarrassing, but she WAS in bed with fibroid tumors at the time so understandable she couldn't exactly get in a car and go.
|by I was 9||reply 135||Last Friday at 6:11 AM|
Come make Mommy feel good
|by I was 9||reply 136||Last Friday at 6:17 AM|
“Have you met any girl yet?” *Gay fear*
|by I was 9||reply 137||Last Friday at 6:17 AM|
My mother,, who suffered from poor health on and off for as long as I could remember used to say 'If you've got your health, you've got everything'.
Of course, as a prissy little gayling I thought she couldn't POSSIBLY have been right, but as I wheeze into old age, I can look back and definitely appreciate what she was saying.
|by I was 9||reply 138||Last Monday at 3:53 PM|
There are no Pollyannas in this house!
She only had to say it once.
|by I was 9||reply 139||Last Monday at 4:02 PM|
Flip the tv to channel 7. It’s time for Rita Bell’s Prize Movie.
Here’s a dollar fifty; ride your bike to Joe”s (corner store) and pick up a pack of Salem’s for me. Soft pack.
|by I was 9||reply 140||Last Monday at 4:05 PM|
Only White Trash people drink Mountian Dew and wear flip flops in places other than the pool or beach. My mother's edict stated in June 1967, I was 8 back then and to this day I do not drink mountain dew or wear flip flops!
|by I was 9||reply 141||Last Monday at 4:18 PM|
Baby , please don't say N* toes In front of the maid at Christmas .
|by I was 9||reply 142||Last Monday at 5:13 PM|
"Take all you want, but eat all you take"
"If you don't have anything nice to say, simply say nothing at all"
"A steak is [italic] done, [/italic] you're [italic] finished.[/italic]"
"There are starving children in Africa; WE do not waste food"
"Trust me, you'll thank me later for this..."
"Stop looking at your sister like that"
|by I was 9||reply 143||Last Monday at 5:16 PM|
"well life isn't fair!"
I used to whine about things not being fair.
|by I was 9||reply 144||Last Monday at 5:57 PM|
I should also add : "Always strive to be very generous, people will judge you for being Jewish".
I've followed her advice my entire life, yet I do not think it made any difference.
|by I was 9||reply 145||Last Monday at 6:02 PM|
R144 is a Libra?
|by I was 9||reply 146||Last Monday at 6:27 PM|
Be true to your teeth, or they'll be false to you.
|by I was 9||reply 147||Last Monday at 6:34 PM|
"I hate this life. Why was I ever born ". I resented her but now I sympathize . As I get older I understand how she became that way.
|by I was 9||reply 148||Last Monday at 6:37 PM|
"Those people are trash, Paul Mark Keith Samuel! They drive a Chrysler and eat hamburgers with their bare hands! We may be poor now, but the Eldergates have always had class. Remember that my son!"
|by I was 9||reply 149||Last Monday at 6:37 PM|
“You’re just like your father” (who she hated and said leaving him was the best thing she ever did).
|by I was 9||reply 150||Last Monday at 7:14 PM|
God gave you tity which is for sharing and getting the money.
|by I was 9||reply 151||Last Monday at 7:16 PM|
"Who are you??"
|by I was 9||reply 152||Last Monday at 9:18 PM|
You'd leave your house without your head if it wasn't attached to your neck.
|by I was 9||reply 153||Last Monday at 10:01 PM|
“Make the salad!”
|by I was 9||reply 154||Last Monday at 10:11 PM|
“Spit in one hand and wish in the other. See which one gets full quicker.”
“You have champagne taste and a beer pocketbook.”
“The hell you say!”
|by I was 9||reply 155||Last Monday at 10:49 PM|
You;re not lying around here watching TV all day.
|by I was 9||reply 156||Last Monday at 11:39 PM|
She told me she loved me no matter what . I miss her everyday
|by I was 9||reply 157||Last Monday at 11:43 PM|
When I was leaving for school in the morning—“Say something nice to the homely girls.”
|by I was 9||reply 158||Last Tuesday at 12:16 AM|
"Don't let boys touch your boobs. They will always want more."
Not a problem, Mom.
|by I was 9||reply 159||Last Tuesday at 12:40 AM|
|by I was 9||reply 160||Last Tuesday at 12:56 AM|
You could paraphrase anything Faye Dunaway said in Mommie, Dearest and get the gist.
Except for the wire hangers. For one thing, my mother got wire hangers for free. Like boxes of them. She could have started a scrap metal business. Even though I have no wire hangers, I have inexplicably developed the habit of hoarding hangers. Teal colored plastic ones are my favorite.
Trust me, when I die, whoever is stuck cleaning my place will say, "WTF is up with these teal plastic hangers?"
|by I was 9||reply 161||Last Tuesday at 1:12 AM|
what, nothing smart from JonBenet Ramsay, formerly of Boulder, Colorado?
|by I was 9||reply 162||Last Tuesday at 1:18 AM|
“I hope you die before I do so I can piss and shit on your grave”
She said that to me the last 3 times we spoke.
|by I was 9||reply 163||Last Tuesday at 1:46 AM|
R163 She seems nice.
|by I was 9||reply 164||Last Tuesday at 2:34 AM|
Always wear clean underwear each day in case you get hit by a bus. Yes
|by I was 9||reply 165||Last Tuesday at 3:17 AM|
Rise and shine and meet the day!
I'm as skittery as a cat on a hot tin roof!
Yes, we were from the border South and people really did talk like Tennessee Williams characters. He got them from somewhere.
|by I was 9||reply 166||Last Tuesday at 3:35 AM|
She woke us up every morning with "All ashore who's going ashore." I have no idea where that came from. We don't have a Navy heritage...
|by I was 9||reply 167||Last Tuesday at 4:27 AM|
Mom: “I’m not a complete idiot, y’know!”
Me: “Well, Mom. Nobody’s perfect.”
Mom: * S M A C K ! *
|by I was 9||reply 168||Last Tuesday at 4:51 AM|
Mom in depression: Make me eggs.
Me: Five years old. I can't cook.
She; Just do it. Nike has nothing on her.
|by I was 9||reply 169||Last Tuesday at 5:18 AM|
My Mom was always telling me to cut my nails. She said that boys shouldn't have long nails. To this day, I cut my nails all the time and I look down on guys with long untrimmed nails.
|by I was 9||reply 170||Last Tuesday at 5:27 AM|
I was in the car with my mother one day and I think I said something dumb. She looked at me and said "what does that have to do the price of eggs in China?' I had no idea what she meant.
|by I was 9||reply 171||Last Tuesday at 5:31 AM|
I just don't know where we got you. You're not one of mine.
|by I was 9||reply 172||Yesterday at 5:18 AM|
R171, my Mom used to say "What does that have to do with price of tea in China? I've never heard eggs but who knows!
|by I was 9||reply 173||Yesterday at 5:36 AM|
"Toby B ( our neighbor)s a fat slob"
"All the women in the neighborhood are jealous of me"
"Why do you do everything to embarrass me?"
"Because I said so"
"your father can't get an erection" ( swear to God she said this to me when I was about 17)
|by I was 9||reply 174||Yesterday at 5:52 AM|
R171 and R173 I heard it from mom as '....the price of rice in China."
|by I was 9||reply 175||Yesterday at 10:40 AM|
"Tough darts" (she was too ladylike to say "tough shit," and this was her weird alternative--I've never heard anyone else say this)
"There's no 'fair'" (whenever one of us kids complained something was unfair)
|by I was 9||reply 176||Yesterday at 10:43 AM|
What are you, on parade? Move!!
(This would be if I was walking too slowly, or otherwise in her way)
|by I was 9||reply 177||Yesterday at 11:15 AM|
You heard me!!
(Usually in response to my "what?" when told to do something I didn't really want to do)
|by I was 9||reply 178||Yesterday at 11:20 AM|
Never fall in love outside of your area code.
|by I was 9||reply 179||Yesterday at 11:36 AM|
Why can't you be like the other boys?
|by I was 9||reply 180||Yesterday at 11:46 AM|
TAKE [ITALIC]HUMAN[/ITALIC] BITES
|by I was 9||reply 181||Yesterday at 12:05 PM|
Not my mom but a mutant woman living down the road:
“ Nikki get into that fucking house straight away for your dinner. You have my heart broken you fucking bastard. Wait till your father gets home he’ll sort you out you desperate cunt. Did you hear me tell you to come in for your dinner? Sweet Jesus and his blessed mother give me patience”.
For years. And years. 😂😂
|by I was 9||reply 182||11 hours ago|
R178, my Mom HATED when we said "What?" when she called us! She'd just keep calling our names until we either said "Yes" or stomped downstairs to see her face to face.
|by I was 9||reply 183||8 hours ago|
Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Don't you just LOVE clicking on these things on every single site you visit? I know we do! You can thank the EU parliament for making everyone in the world click on these pointless things while changing absolutely nothing. If you are interested you can take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT and we'll set a dreaded cookie to make it go away. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.
Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!