I want to be underwhelmed.

A mint julep mask is drying on my face as I type.

I'm roasting oats to make Jamie Oliver's granola dust.

One of my toilets keeps making a strange noise when I flush. Like something is giving way or straining. I keep hoping it will go away and jiggle the handle hopefully.

I was too lazy to stake my morning glories and they have smothered my prized mogul pine in espalier.

I need to get my favorite suit let out. I need another inch in the waist. I don't think that's too bad, since the suit is 22 years old.

I'm FUMING about the treatment I received making Wicked Stepmother. Kathryn STILL hasn't brought my GOBLET and that fucking Lilian GISH has the nerve to call MY face tragic. The NERVE. At LEAST Miriam HOPKINS had some good BOOZE in her dressing room. Miss GISH only had SWEET TEA. NUTS! B.D. Broke my HEART with that fucking book. CHRIST! Who does that HYMAN-lover think she IS? Christina "why the long face" CRAWFORD? AT LEAST, that CUNT, Joan, got what she deserved with HER daughter's book. What did I get? Nothing but MISERY! BROTHER! Kathryn bring me another ASHTRAY! We have to get to the airport. I have an award to collect in PARIS.

I just spent 20 minutes clipping a 75 year old womans toenails .

I'm sitting home on a Friday night reading Data Lounge.

I drank a beer for breakfast.

I bought an awesome, used, old school toaster at a thrift store. Works like a charm and beats the twenty dollar+ made in China crap.. I'm actually thrilled/satisfied about this situation.

I bought a toaster to match my kitchen. Normally I don't care about such things, but I made the effort when I remodeled. I also got a matching blender and breadbox. I never used the blender, damnit!

R7--not quite as bad but I'm sitting outside in the car at a 24-hour CVS while my bf is inside buying toenail clippers.

Every person in every other car looks like their bf is inside robbing oxy.

Tell me ,R11 , does your paper towel holder match as well ? I really HAVE to know .

Paper towel holder?

However, I have 3 vintage glass lemon squeezers in different sizes. And 6 champagne buckets

I didn't have a car for my first three years of high school and I had to walk.

The freezer section of my refrigerator is not keeping the food frozen enough.

R12, I am R11. I don't know who R14 is.

No, the paper towel holder does not match. It is hidden below the sink, though. The electrical socket plates do, though. Believe me, I shopped and shopped to find all the matches!

r15, I didn't have a car in h.s. and had to walk while carrying books and a trombone.

I'm charging my very first cell-phone right now. I'm 66.

I'm eating homemade chili that I made a few months ago (I froze it) and I'm drinking wine and singing along to Barbra Streisand...

r18 this is not a competition. It is us talking about being pedestrians.

I will not consider buying any car that Kit Harrington endorses.

Have you ever noticed that the symbol for "Okay, You Can Walk Now" is a WHITE MAN?!

R23, which is more objectionable, the WHITE or the MAN??

You want to know an underwhelming LIFE? I haven't been out on a Saturday night in 4 years. Shoot. Me. Now.

The walk man is not white, he's green.

Today I'm going to redeem a book voucher.

[quote]I want to be underwhelmed.

Let me show you my privates !

G, this thread has your name written all over it.

Had to clean upstairs litterbox. Partner takes forever. I got it done in like 15 minutes. Emptying box, cleaning with safe soap in shower, refilling. WTF...

All this talk of toenail clippers has made me realize I need to do a little maintanence myself. I'll be sharpening my hooves tomorrow after I shower!

I put Coffeemate Creme Brulee in my coffee.

Yeah, that was meant for another thread...

Ate a handful of blueberries for breakfast so I can justify pigging out with a burger at lunch.

Speaking of toenail clippers, many years ago my bf's brother gave me toenail clippers for Christmas. Right there, round the family tree gift giving fest. He was poor then and chose cheapie gifts. I was insulted. What did a simple bookstore bookmark cost 25 years ago?

Re toenails:

I have discovered that my Dremel® rotary tool has a marvelous application as a toenail grinder.

No more clipping, just a few passes on each nail with a grinding band on the collet makes for quick, easy work.

I'm going on vacation soon. I've asked one of my brothers to house sit. He's the youngest and wildest. This may be a huge mistake.

Somebody needs to make a film with Peter Capaldi and John Turturro playing brothers.

I am keeping up on the Lochte "drama," weeping for Rio and what might have been.

I am doing laundry in the laundry room of my condo building. I hate that I am over 50 and still don't have my own washer and dryer.

Too many complaints and too much emotion in some posts. Cause a stir, and OP wants to be underwhelmed.

Almost too much effort to post this.

I have a little bit of black lint under the the nail of my big toe from the black socks I wear to work every day.

My airport sized bottle of Summer's Eve is empty! Maybe I can get another month out of it by filling it with warm water!

I turned 50 in June.

R43, yeah, 10 years ago, last June. You didn't notice?

I found a copy of a late friend's book on Amazon. It's a slim volume, about self confidence for bullied and at-risk teens, with some pretty good suggestions.

I can't decide whether to buy beef cubes or chicken to make a stew in my Hamilton Slow Cooker.

Should I neti-pot....I hate doing it but my nose is all crusty.....le sigh.

Another day. Another monsoon.

Just spend an hour with my in-laws. They would own this thread.

Cleaned the downstairs cat litter this morning. Cat shit in it a few minutes ago. She loves a clean litter.

Made a chicken salad with green onion, celery and mayo. It's in the fridge cooling.

Just ate a bowl of watermelon while drinking white wine. About to drift off for a nap with Olympics on low volume.

Hung out my laundry to dry. Backyard grass is so dry it's brown.

Off to neighbour's island cottage tomorrow morning. For the day. Should be fun.

r48 -- That song *instantly* takes me back to biology lab freshman year in the fall of '73. Thanks.

I'm watching Daria online. This show illustrates the difference between Gen X and the Millennials so well via the relationship between Daria and Quinn.

I just watched the Gay bar scene in "Looking for Mr. Goodbar". Loved it. It really took me back in time!

My mother is visiting. We played Scrabble, then went out to an Italian place where she ordered the "risoootooo" with a vodka martini. Then came home to watch the Olympic closing ceremonies and for the 84th time, I reminded her not to call Asians "the Orientals".

I just had KFC. It always seems like a good idea but it never is.

It's 1 a.m. and I'm eating turkey meatballs.

I'm not even hungry.

I condole you, R59.

I hope you're leaving as soon as you're done, r60. And don't even think about asking for a towel; shower when you get home.

I want biscuits.

I did a weeks laundry yesterday and noticed 0 skid marks. Usually there is at least 1.

Thank you R61. It was underwhelming.

I wonder why my local In-n-Out is so bland-looking compared to many others.

I really need to talk to my mother. But she died a few months ago.

I wish I could go to a restaurant on Thanksgiving and have a traditional Thanksgiving meal without: garlic, jalapeno, avocado, pear, fig, beets, lima beans, gorgonzola, candied bacon, squash, prunes, jicama.

No new-hip stuff. i don't want candied bacon gelato. I want stuffing. I don't want sausages or oysters in it. I wanted mashed potatoes. Just mashed potatoes. The only thing i want added to the mashed potatoes is gravy. I want mashed turnips. The only thing added to the turnips can be some mashed potatoes and gravy. Nothing else. Cranberry sauce. Corn. Maybe corn chowder. Carrots. Broccoli.

I'm not cooking.

I have to make two stuffings every Christmas: touch of 1) 1) Garlic w/a bit of sausage and 2) plain w/ Rosemary & Thyme

I should just tell all these fuckfaces to go somewhere else!

R68, consider looking into area restaurants and asking if they would make you a take-out T-Day dinner. A lot of restaurants near me serve a traditional meal, and welcome take-out orders.

Alternately, you might try Omaha Steaks. There would be some cooking involved, but a lot of the prep work is done by them, not you.

In both cases, you can celebrate at home, which I think is part of what makes the day great!

R68, even some grocery stores may serve a tradional meal for Take-out. I won't pass judgment on the quality, though, as I've never purchased one.

Bad indigestion. Strayed from my normal diet and routine. And topped it off with alcohol. It's nearing Summer's end. Another party adventure for 2016. Getting back on track.... Oh, so I can probably do it all over again...

[quote] R67: I really need to talk to my mother. But she died a few months ago.

Sorry for your loss.

Consider crossposting here:

My sex drive is very low.

My infant son naps every day from 10-11am and then again around 3pm. He sleeps 10-12 hours a night. He just began solid food two weeks ago and I find the bananas are giving him constipation so I've added a teaspoon of prunes to his banana purée. Next week we are trying strained beef and vegetables. I think he is teething though I can't see any evidence of a tooth just beneath the gum line.

That was a beautiful share R75. Hope your little one lives a long, healthy life. You're blessed.

one of my circulating fans squeaks.

My favorite co-worker has been out for the past 2 days and I miss him terribly.

I really hate Vlasic pickles.

But I just ate four of them.

R69 made me laugh.

R67, just talk to your favorite picture of her. It really makes you feel better, and she will hear you.

It got me through losing my mother.

.. Some idiot keeps racing up and down the block on his motorcycle. But he's giving rides to kids. I remember when my friend's older brother got us stoned, and gave us rides on his bike, only horseback riding gave me greater thrill.

The sauce in Chef Boyardee's Overstuffed Ravioli tastes different from regular can.

I bought the wrong can. It's too sweet and now I'm frowning.

I always want to buy Halloween candy just as they are putting it out in the stores, but I always worry that it's left over from last year. I'm thinking I'll wait until Labor Day, at least.

The gallon of prune juice I drink a day makes me so bloated.

R58 Arizona?

I wonder at the fact that I'm considered an adult, I'm in my mid 30's, work six to seven days a week, and am on the higher end of my organizations pay scale, yet I feel like I'm an adolescent. I don't hate my life, I just feel like I've spent the last seventeen years waiting for it to start. The reality that i'm headed into middle age with no remaining social life depresses me regularly. My hopes when I was 20 were to have been in a relationship for several years by now and have adopted or had a surrogate carry a child for my partner and myself. Instead I have no partner, the last guy i slept with was an armed security guard from my job, and the only thing I have to look forward to is my annual vacation. At the same time I get depressed about the fact that I have nobody to share these trips with.

I have an early conference call in the morning the subject of which will require me to carry the weight of the conversation for my company. I really wish I could find some excuse to miss it, but they'd just reschedule.

My washing machine isn't draining right but I've put in calling a plumber because I'm afraid to find out the problem is tree roots.

Listening to NPR, while eating a grilled cheese with tomato soup, as my late night snack.

R29, I thought you were saying your partner took too long time using the litter box. Scared me.

Sydney is set to have an average month's worth of rain tonight. I'm supposed to go to trivia but I'm worried I'll spend hours driving around trying to find a way back across the Cooks River when it, inevitably, floods. I don't know if it's all the riverbank reclamation or climate change but that river is flooding every few months.

I miss cigarettes. Since I stopped smoking I feel better and worse at the same time. Allen Carr's book says I should feel sorry for people who still smoke, but I feel a raging jealousy when I see them standing on the balcony at work puffing away and enjoying themselves.

I feel that 40 is just around the corner so it's time to start changing things towards a healthier lifestyle, but I do miss smoking.

I had a conference call yesterday that i'm still aggravated about today.

I had *two* Burger King bacon double cheeseburgers for dinner last night, and now I'm hard-core craving more.

But I don't feel like washing my face to go out, so oh well.

Also, I dislike Burger King, but feel repeatedly compelled to buy it.

that isn't underwhelming, it's desperate.

I concede the point, R95.

I really like having plants in my kitchen window but when I put them outside for a couple of weeks when I was away on business, they seemed happier.

I ate too much salami.

..I work night shift. Baylor schedule/hospital time; 7pm to 7am Sat & Sun. 8hrs freely added to make fulltime eligibility and requirement. Starting to resent it. Working every weekend, one off every month, is not conducive to maintaining relationships with folks who work Mon-Fri 9:00-5:00ish. Maybe I'm just pissy because Summer vacation is almost over for me. And too...so is Summer itself.

I'm eating potato chips, reading through this thread.

The annoying guy in the tool room was all bitchy over the radio because I didn't fill out a check out sheet to his liking. So I'm going to passive aggressively forget to turn in my radio at the end of the shift.

I vacuumed the wool rug (again) because it's shedding.

I sure do have a lot of nice sheets.

My pillow smells.

Do I have a smelly face??

[quoe] R94: I had *two* Burger King bacon double cheeseburgers for dinner last night, and now I'm hard-core craving more.

That's a disgrace, OP!

R68 Three words: Boston Market Thanksgiving

I've been super stressed the last few months due to family, work and my house. I've secretly started smoking.

I just made a fantastic bolognese.

R107, save yourself!

I went to a wedding Saturday night. When we came home, we were shocked that the cats didn't come running to us demanding their postponed dinner. My husband walked into the living room, flicked on the light and found all three cats gathered around an injured mouse. Oh dear. He picked up the mouse and put it outside. We wondered where the hell the mouse came from. Five years we've had the cats, never had a mouse in the house.

Took a swim in my pool last night, came back into the house and there they all were again, gathered around a different mouse, fighting for custody! (the first one was rounder and browner). Where the fuck are these mice coming from? And why now? It's not even cold outside.

My cats are indoor only.

I got a docking station for my ThinkPad.

I'm a cube gay. I have a couple of lazy coworkers I can't stand. I make note of mistakes I find in their work. Every couple of months like clockwork I report these to my boss knowing he'll be sweating bullets trying to explain to other managers what went wrong.

I just listened to "Clint Eastwood" by Gorillaz for the first time in ages, and I realised that the rapper says "pick and choose" instead of "Pikachu". I have absolutely no idea why the hell I thought he was saying "Pikachu" for 15 years. It's hard to make out the rest of the lyrics in that verse, so I never really thought it was that weird.

I am fucking this married guy and his wife.

R115, are you a guy?

I'm drinking cold sparkling water, store brand, from the Canton of Valais.

So over thunderstorms. Cleaning up all weekend. Severe weather curtailed weekend plans, pool party, hot, new BF fuck sessions. I have calluses and blisters, sore, aching middle-aged muscles. I do have another unscheduled weekend off. I need a great Labor Day. Burnt out. Starting a new schedule at work. Just took a long soothing bath, instead of shower. Sooo humid, I can't seem to cool.

R110, maybe one of your neighbors is doing major yard work or remodeling. When my neighbors redid their carport suddenly I had all these critters at my place.

I've spent the evening editing my latest head shots from 236 to 26, and am glad that at age 52 I'm can honestly say that I'm relatively happy with the way I look. But, I simply cannot accept the asymmetry at the tip of my nose, so it's clear that I'll have to lie down on the operating table again, for the fourth God Damned time for my surgeon to correct it. I think he's gonna have to use some rib cartilage this time. God dammit.

r120, don't do it. Plastic surgery is disastrous the older you get. Im sure you are hot enough.

I probably past the hot stage, r120. This is about something else. And, I think what you mean is that the wrong plastic surgery by the wrong plastic surgeon trying to achieve unrealistic expectations is disastrous. What I 'm talking about is a tiny refinement. No one sees it but me. But, after all, mine is the opinion that matters most to me.

I'm trying to decide if I should call my new black lab puppy Dexter or Tucker.

Had to pull out one of my tomato plants today because it had mosaic virus, and that could have spread to the healthy plants. No big loss, though, as the sick plant had only 3 or 4 tiny tomatoes on it anyway.

I want a guy at work. Badly. I think his wife would object. At least he's good masturbation material.

I actually have bats flying around me as I am typing this. They're cute. I think they like me. I'm in front of the public library, using the free wi-fi. It's 3 minutes nutes past midnight.

I've sneezed at least a dozen times in the last hour. I hope I wake up with a head cold so I can lie in tomorrow.

I'm so happy when there's no one else in the break room. I can pick my nose and fart all I want.

I bought some sunglasses yesterday, but have to exchange them today because when I got home I found the frame has a knick on it.

A basketball player?

I have a job interview tomorrow for a job I applied for on a whim without believing I'll ever get a callback.

It's something I always wanted to do, but on the other hand I currently have a good job many people would love to have and where I'm already established.

Why does everything always happen in the wrong time.

I had friend chicken for lunch. Not because I wanted it, but because this is the south and it's the fastest thing to get when you forget to call in a lunch order.

My next door neighbor died at 4:00am, yesterday. He was in hospital ICU. Gonna really miss his friendship. I work nights and he'd be awake and sitting on his porch, when I got off work. Chessboard set up and ready. I'd be stressed and tired from work, but his wonderful personality would have me perked up, and laughing, while we conversed and played several games. He had pancreatic cancer, and didn't share how bad off he really was. He was married with kids, ex-military, but the least judgemental guy I knew. My sexuality, and hook-ups with guys, never came up. Funeral next Tuesday. The good always die young. He'd turned 53 in May. RIP

That's not mundane, R133, that's a major bummer. Something like that happened at my last place--neighbor who I'd see every morning when I got home was in the ICU 4 days, then dead. Older than your neighbor but not by much. Just about 5 years ago. I condole you.

Thanks R134. It is a shocker, not underwhelming by any means... Apologies. I just had to vent. His wife gave me his chessboard and some of his belongings. I didn't want to accept, but also didn't want to stress her any. Sorry OP--DL. Try to keep it light in future postings.

I overheard an elderly woman talking about how she went on vacation in the woods and hated it because there were so many flying insects. She had one of those 1960s hairdos that was held in place with a layer of hairspray and the bugs kept getting stuck in it.

[quote] I had friend chicken for lunch.

Oh, I'm sorry. That must have been hard for you. Did you do the beheading or did someone else?

Missed half of Chiefs game. Stuck at Mama Tio's trying to get some friggin food. I'm sleepy anyway. Nightshifters don't catch a break. Forget food. I wanna stretch out in truck bed. But the way CB drives. Zzz. Been schill all day. Baby needs a nap nap.

R137, the beheading was done by a machine. the birds were hung on shackles by their feet, ran through electrified water to stun them, then their heads were held in place by a notch on a wheel similar to a bicycle wheel as they went through moving blades. to have their heads removed. A person was standing by with a very sharp three bladed knife to remove the heads if they didn't fall off.

After this they were run through a scald vat, hung on more shackles where they had the feathers beat off by picking fingers, were eviscerated by various machines and thrown into a chiller, after about two hours in there the bodies were blow 40 degrees fahrenheit and hung on a line that weighed them then kicked them off at a machine called a Dapec that systematically cut them up, dropped the individual pieces onto a sectioned belt, possibly injected them with over a hundred needles in a Mepsco Injector, then they were Dumped into an M-Tek bagger according to the number of birds that were to be in each bag. They were then labeled, sent into a cooler, put on a truck, delivered, then battered and fried by minimum wage workers.

I reformatted one of my laptops and reinstalled windows 7. Handwriting panel in Windows 10 is horrible.

The movie "In the Heart of the Sea" (2015), a retelling of "Moby Dick", uses real New England names. I imagine the names must be in the book, but haven't read it in decades. Anyway, the ship is named, "The Essex", which is the name of the county in which Salem, MA is. Then the men's last names are common, and old local names, too: Chase, Coffin, and Nickerson. They are common and old enough that there are streets and neighborhoods named after them around Salem.

I'm reading a book on Belfast City politics in the 80s and 90s.

I decided to wait with phone upgrade until Mercury retrograde passes.

That sounds reasonable, R143. Will that be this decade?

Fortunatelly, I won't have to wait that long, R144. Just till the 22nd of this month.

I wanna do some tina

Tuna? You turning hetero hero R146,?

I'm real poor and can't afford the fee to join Data Lounge. Is there anyone out there who would consider sponsoring me?

My partner absolutely insists on mowing really early to get it over with, partly because he works nights so he has a weird schedule, but mostly out of spite. He started mowing at 7:15AM this morning but it was down in the flood easement, which is hundreds of feet from any homes and surrounded by dirt retaining walls that dampen sound. The next door neighbors aren't home -- the closest anyone is right now is about 100 feet and 3 houses away.

So I hoped no one would get disturbed this time, but some creepy guy who doesn't live in the neighborhood (and who looks more than a little meth-y) rode his bike over, glared, then hissed "A little EARLY to be MOWING, isn't it?" At me, of course, the person who isn't mowing. I'm in the front yard so about 100-150 feet away from the mowing. Methy McCranky looked like he wanted to start something but didn't because I was holding sharp branch cutters.

If I had a dollar for every time someone got pissy with me because my very broken partner refused to abide by general social rules, I'd be fucking rich.

We had a neighborhood crank, God rest her soul. I was pulling out of a parking spot on the street to leave but she thought I was arriving. She then saw another car without a parking permit trolling for a parking spot and started screaming at them, while pointing at me "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO PARK HERE, THIS FELLOW IS TRYING TO PARK HERE...." Thereafter, I was afraid my car was identified to these people as a virtual scratch ticket.

I think I was her only friend,

I figured out why my cats have caught 3 mice in the past week, but none in the previous 5 years.

My son lives in the basement. The cats don't like him, so they never go in the basement . He left for college last week. Since he left, the cats decided to go exploring in the basement, hence, they are discovering the meeses.

My house lost $500k in value on Zillow this summer. No idea why. It's been the same price for years and suddenly it fell like a deflated soufflé.

I want to spend my hangover in bed but I have to get up and go to the bathroom.

R153, I condole you. Been there, done that,

I think I have a mild case of food poisoning.

I was in Target today and I noticed their pharmacy is now CVS. Everything is contracted these days.

I used to buy plants at Home Depot and Lowe's that were varied. The garden section had employees who either knew something about plants or at least tried to learn about plants. There were lots of different six pack cells of annuals, lots of different perennials. The last few years these stores have had pretty terrible selections. You'll find 80% of their stock is Blue Fortune agastache and white coneflowers. No more six packs of anything except impatiens, marigolds, begonias and ageratum.

It's because they now contract their garden section out to locals. The locals know nothing about flowers and just contact nurseries and say, "I'll pick up whatever you have on Friday." The people at the cash registers aren't employees who are always in the garden section. They're employees who are in the garden section today, the lumber department tomorrow, appliances the next day.

What CAN'T be contracted out these days?

Had a funeral to attend today. My neighbor was a quiet, but evidently well thought of. There was quite the crowd. Some business at State building also taken care of. Quiet time. I like laying on BF'S ample belly, can't at the present. Finally calm and at peace, funny how holidays can bring stress, and the worst out in people. Guilty. Ahhh. Relaxation.

Why does every student who is going away to school on British tv shows go to Oxford or Cambridge? They never go off to Leeds or Nottingham.

Just can't sleep at night. Working nights has changed my internal clock, maybe for good. One or two more days spent with BF. Can't wait for his poison ivy to heal so I can lie on his jelly belly. Now I lay me down to sleep... At 12 noon. Oh well. I tried the daytime thing. Long as I don't have to go a week without some kind of hot " inreraction" and get SOME sleep, the stressy shill stays away. Hot sex=Xanax.

After a few beers I let a neighbor talk me into giving me an enema "because I bet you'd like it." I let him because I thought t would be one of those one-shot squirt things. It wasn't, it was with an enema bag. He was right. I did like it.

Reading up on travel to Alaska. They don't have to pay taxes?

Wild burros and wild deer come into my yard almost every night. If I am awake when one of them arrives, I can hear their footsteps on the gravel, and if I do I go out there and they run away. But if I miss them, they feast on my flowers and plants. The will eat a geranium plant all the way to the ground. Now they are starting to chew on the bark of trees I planted this year. They have bitten off entire branches of a honey locust tree I planted last year, even though that tree has many thorns on every branch. Weird. I wish they would eat the weeds instead. Fortunately they have not discovered my tomato plants in the backyard!

Wounds run deep, sometimes to the soul itself. Time heals all wounds--- Todd Lundgren

R162, Try Solar Charged LED motion lights. they should keep them at bay for a little while.

Discovered that the credit card issued by my employer for work expenses was compromised. It gave me great joy to cancel it to put the kibosh on the thief's spending spree. Declined!

I had a place where my cellphone rubs my ass through my back pocket cause an ingrown hair resulting in an abscess. By the time the Dr was able to see and lance it, it was around the size of a baseball. He was amazed I could sit down, now it will be draining for the next couple of days. I'm ready for it to be over.

Oh..UNDERWHELMED. If you desire to be OVERWHELMED, try being me, AIKC. Talk about your 5 alarm flaming. Going down in flames? I don't think so.. If perhaps I do, being a Scorpio, with the power of the Phoenix, I hope to rise from the ashes. New and improved. Don't do (self)pity-parties. I'll be alright. I always am.

R158 or Rimmingham and Bottomshire?

Being underwhelmed, tonight, is rather a positive for me. Returned to nightshift after most extensive vacation I've had the luxury of taking in 20 yrs. Nothing's really changed here. Except for me. This working stiff shit is not for me. Time to implement Plan B, maybe Plan C. Rich relatives about to get an overdue visit from their favorite KC cuz/nephew, this holiday season. Ain't too proud to mooch.

I just realized that AiKC is the most boring EST on Datalounge... I was underwhelmed.

I got a stain on my white shirt at work. I used a tide stain stick to remove the stain. Didn't work. But when I got home I had trouble finding the stain. Perhaps it takes the stain stick a while to remove the stain?

R171: Was it a jizz stain?

R170 Sweet cheeks, tell ya what. You underwhelmed me so much with your blah attempt at sarcasm, why waste a sting and venom? You're so not worth it. Zzzz Zzzz

I didn't see an attractive man today even though I visited 2 gyms.

No it was from an al pastor taco R172.

I just ate a really yummy ribeye steak and all I used was a cast-iron skillet

Thanks R164!

Now I'm dealing with a mouse that nibbles on stuff in the kitchen every night...

I like those "logic problems" that are included in books of crossword puzzles.

Tomorow, nobody is going to ask me to bake a cake. But even if they did ask, I would turn them down. I just don't feel like it.

At work, bored. Love that nightshift less busy and hectic, especially in a healthcare facility. Thinking of a gentle way to turn a BF into a semi-regular fuck buddy kind of scenario. I'm sure he does as well. Newly out, he's going to want to explore the many boy fishes in the gay sea. And we have NOTHING in common. Summer is over...so is the fling.

quote[My infant son naps every day from 10-11am and then again around 3pm.]

[R75], what a coincidence. I'm retired and follow the same schedule.

Anonymous in KC, you seem like a nice person but you are nattering on too much.

A restaurant I liked closed this weekend. Too bad, I liked their food but they never seemed to attract much business.

A bear came into my yard last night and dragged the entire garbage can into the woods. I guess to dine at his leisure.

I'm sure he was underwhelmed because -- let's put it this way -- I don't leave a lot of leftovers.

Maybe he wanted the can itself.

I am smelling curry. Very strong. But I haven't made curry. I live in a house, not an apartment building where someone may have used curry.

R182. Do I tell you how or what to post? Thank you. Nattering... You type elder-ish. But it was kind of funny. You calling me a nattering naybob? Whatev... :-)

Got to the gym around 6:30, just as a handsome muscle daddy emerged from the shower casually drying his hair, while a big flaccid meat stick flopped between his thighs. Could barely focus on my workout after that visual so I could rub one out. Lasted about two and a half minutes.

[quote]Could barely focus on my workout after that visual so I could rub one out.

Meant to write "so I came home so I could rub one out." Didn't do that at the gym.

Jesus, I just think about him for 3 seconds and I get hard and horny again.

I just watched the season six premiere of American Horror Story. I was underwhelmed.

I DVR'd AHS R189. I don't do commercials. Hope my opinion differs. I received some excellent news today. I needed something positive for once. Looks like I won't be going off-line this weekend, or anytime soon DL.. Yay! I also recorded Master Chef finale. I'm about to air pop some popcorn, sit back and recline, do my nightowl thing, and enjoy. Haven't been able to do that for a while. Almost out of pot...shit! Wonder if it's too late for a reload of greenery? A lot of my recent stress went bye-bye today. I'm sooo thankful.

Didn't this thread used to have a catchier title? Something like "you with your pageboy..."

I'm reading this thread, on Datalounge.

A Millennial I follow on Tumblr just announced to everyone that if you reply to anyone's public blog post from a month or more ago, it's literal harassment.

If the DMV wants me to have an eye exam to renew my license, they should fucking well give it to me for free. Now I have o go looking for someone who will do it for $$$

Bad day. Spilled coffee on my rug. Went outside in my flipflops and slipped in rain water. Went outside to find my cat and heard him crying but he would not come when I called. Because of fences I had to walk two blocks on my banged up knee to try and find him. Disturbed a complete stranger...just to find out he was completely fine, who knows why he was crying? Anyway, this knee will be sore for a month. Life is pretty shitty.

My partner spilled coffee last night too, R195 -- lots of it came up with Bissel Spotclean poured over the stain undiluted, then paper towels and heavy books on it overnight. If your carpet is colorfast you might want to try that.

Good luck with the knee. Ice liberally!

[quote]If the DMV wants me to have an eye exam to renew my license, they should fucking well give it to me for free.

Are you in NY? They only require you to get an exam if you want to renew on-line or if you couldn't read the chart. If you go to the DMV you can just read the chart. If you couldn't read the chart, then you really should get an exam.

I'm tired of doing laundry, yet I can't stand dirty clothes packed in hampers.

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.

I have a reputedly authentic recipe for spaghetti bolognese that includes pancetta as an ingredient, but I've always made it without because I could never find it. Today I tried a new grocery that had pancetta, but it looked gross so I'm just going to make my bolognese with ground sirloin as usual.

I'm writing out a weekly meals planner and a correlating shopping list, having perused all the different supermarket catalogues for their weekly sale items. I incorporate evenings where I'm working late, or have other commitments into cooking two or more meals on the days/nights when I have free time, so as to freeze them. Thus, when we get home late, I have defrosted said meal in the morning, ready to be reheated when we get home.

Pancetta is one of those overrated foods like avocados, jalapenos, cranberries, goat cheese, kale, chia seeds and quinoa.

I like a little pancetta in some dishes. I'm blanking on the dish I usually have it in, but it's with mushrooms and tomatoes and it works really well together.

I've also put together my grocery list and I'm exhausted. Coupons, rebates, the whole thing is a huge pain.

I prefer bacon.

I walked my sick pug at 3 am in plaid pajama bottoms and a ripped white tee...so glad the streets were empty.

It's Cuddly Dick.

I had to renew my driver's license, so I went to DMV to apply for the enhanced license. I hear eventually we will need to have one anyway. Took 2 hours, dammit.

My garden okra is still producing okra everyday.

If I skip a day, I get 8" pods that I have to compost.

I've found that cleaning products from Dollar Tree work really well. I even found a detergent that is just as good as Tide.

Enhanced licenses have a chip in them. Could they eventually be used to keep track of our location?

There are tons of criminal gangs around. Everyone worries about govt survellience, but the gangs in my area walk freely in their neighborhoods. So I guess if you are worried about govt survellience you should join MS 13, the Bloods, the Crips or the Latin Kings. Nobody is keeping tabs on them. They keep finding skeletons of their victims all over the place but they're still going strong.

I'm about to hop in the shower for a nervously anticipated date with an unexpected little cutie that I've been interacting with at his job for a while. He did one of the most endearing things EVER. He's a night manager and switched shifts to hook-up with me tonight. I don't really want to "go out" but instead order in, and spend time with him...alone. I have to figure out a way to bring it up, without sounding like I'm desperate for sex or to get in his pants on only our 2nd date. He's adorable and I don't want to rush things. But I'm sooo not feeling a night out on the town. Damn, I am old huh?

R211 : so basically he's making an effort, and you just can't be fucked? You're an old, selfish cunt.

Damn R212, why don't you tell me how you really feel? I am getting old. Staying in has proven to be the most fun I've had through last Summer. Bicycle ride up the street to Target for omlet ingredients and a bottle of wine was laugh all the way bliss. My date is a pretty decent cook, an AWESOME kisser, but not the best Scrabble player ever. I could get used to this. No bars or clubs... just chillin in the crib. Hopefully another bike ride to Target tonight to purchase more games. I want to try Jinga. Yahtzee sounds fun too. I have gotten elderish this year. Winter cometh. Staying indoors and hibernating until Spring is appealing. Boring is now becoming an exciting new thrill.

On another forum there's a guy making a lot of crazy claims and no one believes him, and they're being rude about it. So I tell him (and I quote) "Your link doesn't work, you know" and some 65-year-old frau came along and scolded me for behaving badly and being so rude. People calling this guy a "fucking scammer" and "bullshit artist" are apparently less rude than I am.

The longer I live, the more I understand the frau hate on DL.

This thread has brought down my blood pressure.

I had a donut as a desert for lunch.

I have a non-enhanced license. I use my Global Entry card at the airport instead.

I bought a audio cable to hook my computer up to my HDTV. It's the third one I've purchased. Hopefully, this is the right one.

Trying to convert a vampire to daylight standard time is quite the task. What's one to do? Eyes on his prize...suck it up and bare it. It's like 3:00 am to me. Where is my coffin? I've got a coupla hours before dinner.

My sister's step daughter named her kid Malachai.

And everyone calls him that -- not Mal or Mack.

Who the fuck names their kid Malachai?

I'm considering hooking up with a guy that used to be a fuck buddy a few years ago when he was between marriages. I don't like him very much as a person, but working seven days a week I don't have time to find a boyfriend.

I'm overeating like a crazy person. Why? Hate it but can't seem to stop myself.

My dog has a tiny lump on her side. It's just a cyst, not a tick.

Twisting up a fattie in anticipation of American Horror Story, that I'm DVRing. I don't do commercials. I don't care for blunts. They hit too harshly, and I can't savor the flavor of the herbs and spices. Also gonna watch a recorded Survivor. Why do a plethora of good TV shows come on Wednesdays, but NOTHING on Tuesdays? Thank heaven for cable.

Looks like the pillows on the couch could use a fluffing up.

Watch that R233, Tiny lumps were the first signs of my 11 year old basset hound's lymphoma. Watching her get worse then finally have to be put down was one of the hardest things I've dealt with. It's been almost three years and I still won't have another dog.

Just saw a malapropism that's a new one on me.

Someone wanted to know if it's going to rain when a cat washes behind its ears, or is that just a wise tale?

I guess he felt he didn't need the "old" in there.

I am watching a sitcom called Two Broke Girls. I haven't watched a sitcom for years. How can anyone watch this dreck? And they still use laugh tracks!

R226 Think about getting another dog. If it's affected you this much, you obviously love and care for your pets. Dogs deserve owners like you.

I made "no knead" bread for the first time and it came out amazing.

Every time I see the Google logo, I am still irrationally angry that they changed it to such a generic font. Why? It's so pointless. #firstworldproblems

This weekend, I'm changing out all the Dr. Scholls "Gellin' Like a Felon" inserts in my seven pairs of sneakers (one for each day of the week).

Anyone want the old inserts before I throw them out?

I don't plan on doing anything work related tomorrow.

I need to catch up on some DVR'd shows. It's at full-capacity now, and fall TV season is underway. I never finished watching last episodes of PREACHER, GOTHAM (last season's final 3 episodes) MR. ROBOT. Getting terminated July 4th weekend, and discovering DataLounge, there's only so many hours in a day. :-) Thanks DL.

Eat your heart out, Hans Conried.

R223 : just a gentle word - our boy had a small lump on his leg which even the vet said was a cyst. Not wanting to concern you, however when said vet went to remove 'cyst', turned out to be inoperable cancer.

R230 : care to share your recipe?

It's so sad to hear about poster's pets not doing well. I want to adopt a rescue dog and a cat. But I don't think I can cope with another loss, at least for a while. I share my affection upon family's and neighbors' little lovable fur-balls for now.

I have been out of milk for 2 days .

It's the wee witching hours and I should be at my cyclical best...but not tonight. Rearranging sleep patterns for hook-ups, has caught up with me. A shame too...so many interesting threads. But it's not beauty sleep I require, I've got that covered. :-) But the traditional kind, recuperation.

And now it's time for a commercial break. We'll be right back

I just started to wonder why Harambe became a meme but Cecil the lion didn't.

Watching the debacle of the Vice Presidential debate. Tim Kaine is slamming Pence with cold, hard facts. Trump has too much baggage and BS for any logical person to attempt to defend. And to run on Trump's whack platform is career suicide. No wonder Trump's base are UNEDUCATED White men. BREAKING NEWS: Trump just texted Miss Universe and stated that he was prettier, thinner, and looked better in a bikini and heels, so there!

Last week I discovered that a former buddy from high school had moved to Germany and wouldn't be attending our upcoming reunion next month. We were relatively friendly back in the day, but not really close where we kept in touch over the years; he's not active on social media and we've never been the type to call each other. But for some reason I'm depressed that I won't see him there and now I'm not even sure I want to attend.

Last night I dreamed I lived in my parents' house (they're both dead and the house was sold long before they died). I was walking home from work/school when I heard a sound, looked up and saw an airliner coming straight out of low hanging clouds. I didn't have time to run. It crashed onto the street right in front of me and I was hit in the leg by some flying parts, but managed to get to the other side of the street

The body of the plane remained intact -- the nose, wings and tail flew off on impact. I thought it would explode and anyone living would be killed in a fire. But it didn't explode. Then I thought "Nobody could have survived that. I'm glad it wasn't an airline I take." Then I saw it was the airline I use most frequently

It turned out many of the NY Yankees were onboard. Sadly for you Red Sox fans, the Yankees lived Derek Jeter called a press conference. I thought, since I was the only one to see the crash and had been the only person on the ground to be injured that I would be interviewed, but the press didn't care. They were talking about the miracle of the Yankees and interviewing people who had been on board.

I went home and cleaned the birdcage. I was really depressed, since I was part of the miracle of survival but nobody cared. I decided to go over to my best friend's (from high school) house for emotional solace and it turned out the family had moved without telling me and left no forwarding address.

If you have digestive issues, don't eat Trader Joe's vegetable tortilla chips with flaxseed. It contains whole flaxseed, which is indigestible -- something I didn't know until I ate the chips two days ago. I've been suffering cramps, bloating and gas ever since.

If your digestive system is fine, then carry on eating them.

I was watching The Simpsons earlier and this occurred to me: since the show has a floating timeline and the characters don't age, we have to imagine that the present-day Homer was born around 1977. This would mean that he was actually Bart's age when the Tracey Ullman shorts started in 1987. This show has been on the air for waaaaay too long.

I never realized until I joined DL in July, how old the world perceives me. I'll be 53 in a couple of weeks, but I foolishly thought eldergay status begins at 60. Duh... Senile me. I had plans to spend the night with guy I'm currently seeing, but severe thunderstorms here in KC have changed those plans. The temp in the morning will be 48°... too sudden for this.

I was wondering about starting my first DL thread. I miss some of the trolls and other positive interactions with posters. I'm the "NOTORIOUS AIKC" whose actually just a regular Midwestern guy. I don't take no shit and believe this, and my new internet/DL presence, might have made me a bit more controversial/scandalous than I really am. But then again...who cares?

How does one survive without electricity and the internet? Forget Matthew.

There are a lot of swallows flying high in the sky, hunting bugs. It's strange because they usually migrate out of here in early to mid September.

We went to IKEA yesterday to buy new furniture for my hudband's office. First, we were the only white American people in there. Second, we were the only people without at least three screaming, out of control kids. Third, looking into the attached mall, we saw animal scooters for the first time ever. No wonder nobody leaves their kids at home anymore. Retailers encourage people to bring the kids.

It's too bad ikea doesn't make it a requirement that all parents check their children into Småland at the door.

Glad to have power back after hurricane Matthew. But am unhappy that I only have broadband internet at work. Also the couple who evacuated from the Riverside who are staying with me brought their pets and are not cleaning up after their pets or themselves despite the fact that I've been working long hours throughout their visit. I hope when they can get to their house, that it's intact.

My mother goes to my sister's house for Thanksgiving (Canada).

Sister just called to say she's too sick and tired to do the whole dinner thing. There goes my day of peace and quiet, free of low rent drama. *sigh*

I'm starving and debating with myself what's for lunch dear? It's either going to be baked chicken or pasta.

There. Me, myself and I just decided. The chicken comes with better side dishes. Mmm..starches. Mashed potatoes and mac 'n cheese. Yes please.

I just made corned beef hash for lunch. 2 eggs over easy. English muffin.

Many of these posts are far too whelming.

Last night I used the last of a bottle of contact lens solution to fill the case and got to use a new bottle for rinsing the lenses themselves. I love how the stream of solution is so assertive without being too forceful when using a new bottle. At the same time, I appreciate that all the solution in a given bottle is usable, to the last drop. It pisses me off when products cannot be entirely dispensed as with some spray bottles, because some is always wasted. I bought it, I should be able to use it all. I feel sure they could come up with a spray mechanism that would allow all of the product to be used, or at least not leave a quarter inch of unusable product.

I just ate a ham sandwich on some trendy artisanal bread I bought and it was fucking delicious! I also had some Hawaiian "Maui Onion" potato chips and black olives, all washed down with a can of Coke Zero with about a teaspoon of grenadine in it. Life truly doesn't get better than this. But now I've got to get back to work and catch me some speeders.

Curiosity killed the cat.

Last week I suffered a bout of constipation. I discovered that prune juice is not only an effective cure but that it is delicious! I still have quite a bit left and would love to have some without giving myself the shits.

I kinda miss my 2 favorite DL fellas S.G. and B. The special magic DL first held for me, an internet newbie is a little faded. Can't say an occasional HI ? Hey KC maybe once a week, after I shamelessly gushed to the DL universe how much only these 2 individuals matter to me? Nobody's obligated, to be certain. I guess that's where I differ. If someone were to ever express any sort of fondness or affection, on an anonymous forum at that, it would touch me very deeply, enough to non-commitedly acknowledge that individual. Wow, you think that I'm special to single out and confess it before the world ? Hello, (?) You doing well? Glad to know. Oh well.

I've been timing my gym workouts to the same time as the hot guy I mentioned in this thread last month. It's been about 50% successful, where I get to see him undressing or showering post-workout. He's very handsome, has a great body, and a big dick. Occasionally I hear his conversations at the gym, so I now know his name, his wife's name, his favorite teams, and where he went to college. Also, he has at least two kids and works a corporate job.

It's probably no longer healthy for me to lurk around this guy, but I look forward to my detective sessions because my own life is incredibly dull these days.

Oh, and he had to put his dog down last week, so he was really bummed about that. He said he wakes up in the middle of the night looking for her because he forgets she's gone. I wanted to comfort him.

Baked some red velvet cupcakes earlier. Now I'm too drowsy to eat them. I'm kind of pissy because a female buddy stood me up. I'm a nightowl and I changed up my routine for the little Millennial bimbo. Meh...what can you do ? She's young and probably had better plans than a friendly dinner date with an old fart.

Friday and Sunday appear to have turned into geezer get laid days. Hey...I'm turning 53 in two weeks so I am definitely NOT complaining here :-) Following my own life tested advice: if If you want an uncomplicated and very passionate/fulfilling love life...get yourself a Black guy. If he's also a Taurus, then bitches you've literally hit the bullseye.

I bought some battery operated pumpkin LED lights from Pier One last year on clearance for 1/5 the usual price. I never put batteries in them until now and they turn out not to be orange. They're just regular yellowish-white lights.

Fuck that.

I wanted orange pumpkin battery operated lights. My whole Halloween/Thanksgiving aura is busted now.

I saw the first junco of the season today.

Funny to see a snowbird when it's 71 degrees outside

I love shitting.

I hate Carole Bayer Sager songs.

I saw my first white throated sparrow of the season today.

I got the timing wrong when setting the laundry which means I was late to the pre-screening drinks, and yes those were the best part of the evening.

R269 – I saw the first limpwristed cocksucker of the season today.

Ew, I'm so embarrassed by R261 .

Omg.

I'm feeling guilty for not spending time with people, but I just can't get off the couch.

I didn't work out tonight so I could paint a wall. I'm still on the couch trolling the net.

I was going to paint a wall 10 years ago. I still haven't started.

Birthday weekend whirlwind in full swing. I can sleep when I'm dead. Turning 53, I hope that's at least 30 yrs away.... the dirt nap.

I looked up at the ceiling and noticed that the ceiling fan was switched off. I felt comfortable, so I took no action, leaving the fan as is.

Your fancy whirligig is not needed here, R277.

All my chickens is-a coming home to roost. Old BF I had successfully ghosted until now, and current BF in the same place....awkward.

Free drinks for my birthday have got me feeling pretty mellow, and Olivia Newton-John's "Have You Never Been Mellow" keeps reverberating in my mellowed mind. After partying breakfast has my belly as full as my head. Birthdays on a Monday...suck !

AIKC, you are such a fucking idiot. This thread is about underwhelming things, read everyone else's entries. This is not the place to post about your birthday weekend, or any of the other stupid shit you've posted.

Fuck, man!

The lightbulb in my bedside lamp may be a little bright.

This blanket smells funny.

And YOU R280 happen to be the most underwhelming POS to whelm, you whelp. Who exactly appointed/anointed you to preside in judgement over my or any other's posts ?

As far as the "fuck man" part of your meth inspired ramblings...yes dear, I DID fuck a man. A birthday gift that 'came' in a rather large package. I see you attempted to 'come' at me...not tonight darling..I'm already sated. The time of Scorpio is nigh at hand. And I've got a joint to get high in the other hand.

When I got home tonight I already had my key in my hand when I reached the locked door. I inserted the key in the lock and turned and it.. The door unlocked as usual. I then entered and closed the door behind me.

I didn't listen to the local weather report. There's a strong thunderstorm blowing through town. No heavy crashes of thunder, just a really magnificent lightening display.

Work in a public library and you'll discover all the different ways that people can smell.

Finally unfriended the old grade school friend I followed on FB a few years ago. She went from being kinda dumb to full-on Trumpie and homophobe. When it was obvious that she got her feelings hurt by others unfollowing her, I also unfollowed her, hoping it would hurt her more.

This may be too whelming; if so, sorry.

I have 3 cats. One is gargantuanly fat and she cannot clean her bum. I can't take her to the groomer myself and my husband has been hemming and hawing about taking her. Last night she jumped on his side of the bed and she smelled like a full litter box. I'm happy to report her smell lingers. Somebody will be washing the bedding and coming with me to the groomers.

Some kid next to me at a light was playing a track with the Bee Gees "Night Fever" sampled in it. That turned into an earworm on the way home. I've been listening to the Bee Gees and other music from that era and jandra all evening.

We've had fun with it.

Killed some moths.

One of my calves is smaller than the other. How did I miss this for so many years.

Look away, I'm hideous.

I suffer from limb length inequality, R291! It's more hideous than lopsided calves, if that makes you feel better.

My calves are too big and I am really self-conscious about them (male here).

I just looked up Addams Family Values on Wikipedia and discovered that it was released on 19 November 1993. Okay, I understand that a lot of films are generally released around Thanksgiving, but why would you release an Addams Family film a few weeks AFTER Halloween?

The impatiens virus is back.

I have two window boxes. One is filled with lovely impatiens. The other is filled with impatiens skeletons.

My front flower bed -- impatiens skeletons.

My back porch -- perfectly healthy impatiens in flower pots.

They all came from the same flat

Post pot pangs...I'm hungry like the fucking wolf. Carnal cravings...need some meat to eat. Barbecued burnt ends is what's for lunch. Screw cholesterol, fries too. Might as well clog it up with BBQ beans and a large strawberry pop.

I just went to have my 22 year-old suit pants let out a bit. But coincidentally I recently lost weight, so when I got to the tailor, the suit pants fit perfectly. I had it let out anyway. I think this weight loss is temporary. I'm pretty pleased that my suits basically still fit, even though I'm much older that I was when I bought my suits,

The guy who originally sold me the suit was still working there as of last year. Apparently he retired/fired since then.

I only use the suit for weddings, funerals, court appearances, and such. Work became "casual Fridays" permanently, a long time ago. I imagine I'll be buried in the suit, Though, that!s still a long way off, God Willing,

Someone snapped my car's windshield wiper off. That's just mean. Someone also banged my front end. It's slightly out of position, though I don't think it's a big deal. I might be able to just snap it back into place. Haven't tried that yet.

Should I file a police report?

I've had horrible gas that I can't expel all day.

I only have 1% of my internet data allowance left and I have 28 hours left in my billing cycle

R300, put the phone on airplane mode, and as for the 28 hours, offer it up.

I have only two dishwasher tabs left. I hope they'll last before my trip to COSTCO on Monday.

I work for a website and we have this one diva who has been driving me crazy. He volunteers to write 3-5 articles per Friday and does half-assed jobs on all of them. I tried proofing but the website owner thinks writers will get upset if we correct them so there's only so much I can do without making the website owner angry.

The diva will email 3-4 days after the article has gone up and demand changes, saying he's "finally proofread" the article. Completely unprofessional and I am baffled as to how the website owner allows it. After two years of this, last month he yelled at me for giving his article a "bad" title and demanded I stop titling them at all. I said NO.

Now he's stopped submitting articles and the website owner seems to have frozen me out.

This used to be such a good website. It's been stripped of almost all its clout in recent years and I tried, when I got hired on, to bring some of it back but everyone is fighting against it. I suspect they're trying to run the place into the ground and just walk away.

Okay, this is too whelming. I'll gripe about my azaleas next time, promise.

Actual azalea gripe: I replanted three earlier this fall and one doesn't look like it's going to make it. Grr.

Also, is it warm as fuck for anyone else this fall or is it just here? Damn.

Today I saw a lovely Callistemon Silver Cloud. I thought about buying it but wasn't sure if I have a spot for it. If it's still there tomorrow I might buy it.

I like eating oatmeal without milk.

Like... dry? You shake the powder into your mouth?

I love all hot cereal. Oatmeal, cream of wheat, malto meal...grits. All made with small parts milk to water ratio and become a lactose gas bomb later. So delicious and filling to start the day...along with an occasional egg or two.

So as not to become a lactose gas bomb later^ should have been. R308

Another case of the supposed ta's.

I also love hot cereal! Also many cold cereals w/milk, like Cheerios, but to stay on duty and be underwhelming:

I am amazed at how many people don't know that hot cereal, being a grain, needs at least some salt to realize its flavor fully. Grits, oats, whatever: Dash.Of.Salt.FFS.

Some dummies think you keep adding sugar to make it taste good, when obviously it needs a touch of salt, or all that sweetening is wasted.

I ate too much spaghetti and now I can't lie flat.

I farted so loudly last night that I scared the dog off the sofa. It was really funny.

I have a minor chronic skin condition. When I put Clotrimazole on it, it goes away for a while.

R288 Keep kitty clean and fresh post-groomer by cleaning him/her with baby wipes. Also, try a grain-free food and portion control to help kitty lose weight.

[quote] keep kitty clean and fresh post-groomer by cleaning him/her with baby wipes.

She will not allow it. She hits out and runs away

Dear R300,

Get an UNLIMITED plan!

[quite] R313: I have a minor chronic skin condition. When I put Clotrimazole on it, it goes away for a while.

Oh, no, it's not the heartbreak of psoriasis, is it?

The nothing man.

OMG...Trying to renew my subscription/membership to DL has turned into a 2 hour farce for an eldergay like me. Sweetie...I am the poster boy for geezers and gizmos dysfunction. Geez.

I starved again today.

I walked into a top secret room at a submarine shipyard once. Everybody stopped working and stared at me. Then some old guy got up and took me by the arm and turned me around and led me out like I was a blind man. No report, no slapped wrist, nothing like that. At least there was no asbestos there, as there was elsewhere.

I'm watching "The Americans". They just mentioned a bunch of technical submarine info that nobody would understand except other squids. I think it was info that was classified in the 1980s.

I should have added:

I guess I'll never be President!

My TV has the closed captioning stuck on and I can't turn it off.

When I went to DC, I went to the Soviet embassy and got my picture taken with my foot under the Soviet gate. Technically, it was Soviet territory and I should have gotten permission to visit a communist country since I worked with classified info, but that would have been silly.

R325 I love those kind of pics and the stories attached! So much better than "here's me in front of >insert landmark<" type pics.

I just listened to "Diamonds & Rust" by Joan Baez. I'd never heard it before. It sounds just like "Foolish Games". Jewel's shameless plagiarism would make Melania blush.

I tried to help a guy at work and the dipshit abused my advice, and I think my job is in jeopardy. Fantastic.

Less whelming: my 16-year-old cat is so in love with the hot pad I just bought him that I have to coax him up, even for delicious kibbles.

[quote]I have 3 vintage glass lemon squeezers in different sizes.

Small is for lemons or limes. Medium is for oranges. Large is for grapefruit.

R324 Google your TV's manual.

In the alternative, r324, you could try becoming deaf.

I am obsessed with vVcks VapoRub. And not in a sexy way. I just like to sniff it.

I have not turned off CC since I discovered it on the TV I bought in 1993.

I just Dremel-ed my toenails.

Easy-peasy.

I cooked rice in a rice cooker.

I ate some and I put the rest in the refrigerator for tomorrow.

Does anyone know the visitation schedule for Christmas Mouse? I want to put it on my calendar to "save the date". TIA.

Christmas Moose would probably be on the same schedule, right?

I was in the soviet union when it was the soviet union.

Russians aren't like us.

I studied Russian language and culture in college. One day, glasnost and perestroika happened. It seemed like the next day my classes were filled with Russian Jewish students. One day we were a small class struggling to conjugate verbs and nouns. The next day we were surrounded by gum chewing kids who alternately laughed at us or looked bored.

And there went my goal of one day becoming a kremlinologist

I have to clean my windshield inside and out

Use Bounty and Windex, R338!

Here's a cool story, bro.

My mother died earlier this year. She'd ported her phone number to a cellphone when she moved to Florida because she'd had the phone number for 50 years. When she died the phone was on our family account and since no one was using it, my husband put the phone number on hold for about 4 months. I recently decided to reactivate it as a go phone because well. .....Christmas is coming and Christmas day last year was the last time I spoke to my mother before she was intubated and died. So I'm all sentimental.

I reactivate the phone and there's voicemail. I call voicemail. It says "You have 400 messages."

Since it's a go phone that charges me 25 cents per minute, I'm not going to bring up all the voicemails. But there were two voicemails from ear!her in the day. I listen and a guy named Steven left a message saying listen, you need to do the right thing. You owe me money. Give me the money and everything will be fine, ok?

Next message-- Jerry, you need to give me my hunnrit dolliz. If you don't I'm going to the town and I'm bringing all my checks and receipts and you will have to pay thousandsa dolliz in back taxes. Unnastan me? You leave me no choice. You need to calm down, get a holda yizself and gimme that money.

I can tell by his voice that he's a fat Italian guy who's used to pushing people around, so I delete the messages. I go out and leave the phone at home. I come back and there's three more messages from the same phone number. I figure I'll do the guy a favor and call him and tell him he's got the wrong number. So I do and he picks up and starts screaming at me. I say look asshole, I don't know who you think you're threatening when you call this number, but it's my dead mother's phone number and it's been in the family for 60 years. Stop calling it. I hang up.

He calls back! I answer and he tells at me that I need to have respect when calling someone up on the phone. Says me -- I'm supposed to have respect for someone who's making multiple phone calls a day threatening someone named Jerry? Don't think so. Stop calling this number.

He tells me he's been calling this phone number for a year and it's his landlord Jerry's phone number so quit fucking around. I lose my shit. Here I was feeling all sad and sentimental about my mother's 'death and remembering Christmases past when my family was alive and life was safe and warm, and I get this douchebag calling my mother's phone number every hour threatening someone over $100. I shout at him to stop calling or I'll send the police around

It's a flip phone and I haven't used a flip phone for years. It takes me about an hour to go through this phone's menus to figure out how to block a number. The phone buzzes three more times from this guy while I'm figuring it out. I call the voicemail and delete all messages.

And that's my Christmas story for 2016. Some guy has gone berserk over $100 and I get caught up in his drama web. Dammit, ma, it's always something even when you're dead.

Last night I dreamt I paid too much to go on a Viking River Cruise.

R340, sorry to hear about your Mom, that sucks.

I get calls from these Indians. I get a couple calls a day selling things. I had to get a new phone number, it was so bad. Still, years later, since I last answered the phone, and they still call, and refuse to stop.

My phone company converts phonemail to text messages and texts me. That comes in handy. I rarely answer the phone now. I usually call people back, if it's a friend, and ignore the Indians.

I'm really disappointed in Trader Joe's. They've replaced all of the chocolate in their Christmas candy and cookies with dark chocolate and it's got a bitter taste. Way to ruin holiday treats.

I'm watching a group of mallard ducks floating on the still-unfrozen part of a mostly frozen pond. I'm assuming they're on the water waiting for something to swim under them so they can dive in and eat it.

That's peculiar, R343. Dark chocolate is what's customarily used for baking.

I didn't attend a holiday party Saturday night because of a potential conflict with a friend. I think I like his nephew and although my friend says that he's okay with it, I sense that he's just telling me what I want to hear.

I'm about 15 yrs. older than his nephew David but we "mesh" well. The attraction is mutual but I'm holding back because of my friend. I need to mull things over...another party within our social circle is coming up and I've been ghosting Dave, now he's upset with me as well.

But you don't bake chocolate covering on candy. And the chocolate covering cookies isn't baked.

But it was always milk chocolate, R347?

Ghosting is bad, R346.

I need dental implants. One is my right front tooth. My left front tooth has been drilled down to the gum, smothered no tooth there. There's a tooth next to it and no tooth after that one. I have a flipper to wear until work starts on my mouth in January, but it's uncomfortable, so I don't wear it at home.

Now my front tooth that is still there is cutting into my tongue and my bottom lip.

I've begged dentists over the years to please pull my teeth and give me dentures but they refuse. They act like I'm asking them to abort a 6 month old fetus. "My God, I can't do that! I can't pull viable teeth!"

Yeah, ghosting is terrible.

Oh, please help. I'm drawing a blank. What is the phrase? [italic] "Move along who?"[/italic]

R350, personally I'd keep any real teeth. And good for you to get them fixed! I think they're more important than eyes, as far as first impressions go. I mean pretty eyes, not no eyes.

R340: Your life whelms me.

R350 – Do NOT listen to R353! If you have awful teeth, there is no need to keep them. The only people who well tell you otherwise are the fucking dentists. I had terrible teeth all my life, and when I was pushing 30, I told my dentist to yank 'em all out. He of course refused. He only relented when I told him I would go to Mexico and have it done and he realized I was serious.

BEST DECISION I EVER MADE IN MY LIFE! Getting used to dentures was far easier than I thought, and I can still eat apples, corn on the cob, etc. There is no downside AT ALL.

I say go for it.

You can get dentures that go on implants nowadays. You can do all-on-four, which is four implants in upper jaw and four implants in lower jaw and you snap the dentures on and unsnap them to get them out.

You can do all-on-six and all-on-eight.

There are 32 teeth, so if you do all-on-eight you would do 16 teeth, which is only half your teeth, so it's less money than replacing all your teeth with implants.

Wait, I forgot that 4 teeth are wisdom teeth. You don't replace those, so 28 teeth is the full complement when you're an adult.

I've grown to love the middle of the night. Something new for me.

I've changed a few of my light bulbs to the ones with silver on top so they don't cast light on the ceiling.

I love the stillness of the dead of night.

R340, if that guy is still calling, could you tape him? I'd love to hear!

I ate corn and most of it came out undigested in my poop.

Do I put the kettle on before or after popping to the loo?

After. Pish, and you guys once ruled the waves!

Ever since my mother died, nobody I know calls my landline.

My landline is like trollbait now. Only fake Caribbean cruises I've won, the IRS threatening me (in heavily accented English), incredible low rates I can get on my credit card if I just stay on the line....

I should get rid of it. It's a cable landline, not the old fashioned kind that still works in a power outage.

i keep buying sweaters for my dog at ross.

Sag Harbor movie Theater destroyed in fire :(

I'm whelmed.

I wear ankle length athletic socks while I sleep to keep my feets warm. I prefer the ones with the arch support best, though I certainly don't need arch support while I'm sleeping.

The banana I added to my oatmeal this morning was decidedly iffy.

Hoping for a Joan of Arc bad rye bread experience.

I just discovered that frozen lima beans REALLY make you fart! Wow!

Trying to eat well now so I can become a drunken slut tonight.

I'm eating steak with steak fries. Usually greasy foods absorb the alcohol and no puking ensues. Here's hoping. I'm going to be a lush the entire weekend. I can pay the price for my debauchery Monday.

My heat pump just went thorough a defrost cycle.

The outdoor temp went from 78˚ yesterday afternoon to 34˚ at noon today.

Winter is duking it out with the remnants of late autumn where I am..

Winter will win

It always does

60 minutes reported on the Pope's choir tonight. Apparently they still castrate the boys, but there are only about 15 at any given time, so it's not too bad.

The cold snap and deep freeze of this weekend, derailed my plans for a possible hook-up. Cold weather blues..my balls too.

I've got a major case of severe munchies. I'm frigging starving, sorry Darfur orphan.

Hmm. I know. A Hungry Jack TV dinner.

PS - TV isn't a tranny term in this case is it?

We are everywhere, AIKC!

Sweetie, Mark or Mary R375. Bitch pull yourself together! I'm so scared Maude-lyn?

Madonna and Janbot have taken over DataLounge. OMG..

Hopefully this is all just a bad trip..

Marho? You there? GuyyyGuurrll.. we in danger.

I just remembered an advert for a jewellery company I used to see on TV as a kid. It showed photo after photo of the same woman with different men, and then said something like, "Keep getting engaged? Our rings are the finest." Now I can't remember if the woman in question was Elizabeth Taylor or Zsa Zsa, and it's annoying me.

I have to buy a cat toy for a friend's new cat for Christmas.

Temps here in Kansas City are returning to more normal numbers.

Instead of being cold as a motherfucker, now it's just cold.

Pearls must be worn or they lose their luster.

My brother and my 6 year-old niece are visiting for the holidays, so we planned a trip to Disneyworld for a couple of days following Christmas. Well as it turns out my brother's ex-gf (the child's mother) has forbidden him from taking my niece to Magic Kingdom because she wants to "experience it for the first time with her" but we all know the bitch is dirt poor and will never have the resources to plan a family vacation to Disney, at least not until my niece is well into her teens and the lustre of the theme park will be lost on her. And my brother is still so whipped that he says he just doesn't want to argue. I'm beyond annoyed that he won't just tell that psycho bitch ex of his to piss off!

I finally got around to installing my solar powered water feature. Now the sun's gone out so I'll have to wait till tomorrow to see if it's working.

I will never buy a toy for a friend's new cat.

My guinea fowl were missing for 2 days after snowstorm but found their way back when all the roads and driveways were plowed.

Good boys!

R355 gives a heavenly gummer.

Some of my Christmas decorations are still up. I need to get this finished. I think it is the cause of my anxiety right now.

I cleaned out a drawer of my file cabinet, it hasn't been done in 2 years.

Please do not let Christmas decorations cause you anxiety R386 ,, unless you also express gratitude that your sources of anxiety are benign.

Were you inspired by watching Hoarders, R387 ?

That always helps motivate me to throw things away instead of saving them for the after the rapture leaves me behind.

I wish they hadn't ended Scott and Bailey. I really liked that show.

Not to worry r386. Today is the 87th day of xmas.

I have no idea what to get my true love for that.

Not that many people even have the same true love as when this mess started.

I've posted this elsewhere so sorry about the repetition.

Well, it certainly fits the theme of this thread r392.

R392 wins.

My terrier keeps trying to eat my nail clippings. I wonder if this behavior is common among all terriers.

Everyone says you'll love the food in Barcelona, but I didn't.

Also, I hate paisley.

Watch Trump's "press conference" for underwhelment.

I just Googled "Ben Folds Five - Naked Baby Photos" and the first result was this message: "If you find it, report it. Child abuse imagery is illegal!" I'm not a paedo, Google! It's the name of a CD!

I just painted my toenail with a prescription anti-fungal nail lacquer and applied a prescription anti-fungal cream to the rash on my left side......which turned out to be a yeast infection. And shared it on DL.

I made a big bowl of tomato soup and walked upstairs only to drop it on the landing.

It was a lot of soup. In a really big bowl

Did you let fly any choice epithets when it happened, R400?

Yesterday, for some reason, I found myself wondering what had happened to the Millennium Dome after it closed. I looked it up and saw that it was now part of the 02. The Wiki article mentioned that the presenters of BLUE PETER (a British children's show) had buried a time capsule inside the Dome, due to be opened in 2050. I vaguely remembered watching that episode as a kid.

Today, I saw "Blue Peter" trending on Twitter; it turns out that the time capsule has accidentally been dug up by builders, 33 years early. Until yesterday, I don't think I'd thought once about the Millennium Dome since it closed in 2000. Spooky coincidence.

I am finding it so difficult to be underwhelmed these days.

I do my best, however.

I still have stitches in the roof of my mouth. I hate this

Watching some really great flicks lately.

Far From the Madding Crowd

The Great Gatsby

Young Victoria

Stood out from the others. Texting with a rather interesting fellow from Ohio is delightfully passing huge amounts of my idle time, which would otherwise have me stressing over politics. Debating things intellectually with a Repub is a pleasant distraction/attraction.

I used three sick days this week because of some viral thing that feels like a really bad cold + headache. I showed up to the office yesterday and spread my germs just so they knew I was sick, left early and now I'm home in bed again. I can't believe I'm sick four days in a row.

Find a couple of coworkers you don't like r406 and lick their phones.

I've never seen so many snowbirds (juncos) in my yard. Seems they had a boom in population while the white throated sparrows had a decline.

Usually we have a lot of sow when there are a lot of juncos in the yard but we've only had 3 or 4 significant snowfalls. The rest has been just flurries.

An acquaintance of mine is doing that irritating "cryptic tweet" thing. You know, where he repeatedly posts vaguely about a "serious problem" that's just occurred, and how he thanks everyone for their good wishes but he can't go into any further detail publicly. WHY DID YOU TWEET ABOUT IT IN THE FIRST PLACE, THEN? It's so fucking attention-seeking, and now I'm annoyed at myself for buying into it and wanting to know what's happened.

I need to Dremel my toenails again.

I just put a big dollop if miracle whip on my salad.

It's just occurred to me that if our microwaves really are watching us, we're all going to feel really bad for mocking Kellyanne. SHE TRIED TO WARN US.

I don't know which is worse, R411, using the horrible word "dollop," or actually using rancid-tasting Miracle Whip on anything.

I decided to change my underwear today, after several days of use.

I had a fight with FitBit customer service.

I spend a lot of my day hoping that Sean Spice will fall over with a stroke...and Melissa McCarthy will play that scene on SNL.

Had Costco pizza today for the second day in a row. Burp.

I went cross country skiing for about two hours this morning and then went grocery shopping

George Osborne was trending on British Twitter yesterday because he's the new editor of the Evening Standard, and it reminded me how much I love that GIF of him looking coked up to his eyeballs during Prime Minister's Questions:

Is it bad to sleep with your socks on?

I called in sick today, read 100 pages of THE NIX, and watched 3 episodes of BATES MOTEL.

I found out the name of an East Indian guy I've been crushing on. I'm an eldergay and he's 29, so I just keep my appreciative glances and feelings to myself. But he really chatted me up. I kinda froze up as he caught me off guard. Hot Indian guy's name is Sam. Short for a name I'm going to be less shy and obtain from him next time....if an old fart doesn't freeze up like a school girl. Giggle-giggle..

Drinking iced coffee in bed at 4:05 a.m. Went to bed at 8:00 pm night before. Love waking up rested and reading in bed for 3 hours while the city still sleeps. Two more of sleep then ready for work.

A great invention r395.

Please type your full name, address and number where you can be reached at during the day, r398.

Holy shit UK twitter is nasty right now. Martin McGuinness died, and it seems like it's gone back 30 years, taking the scab off the wound so to speak.

I'm web surfing because I have a nasty bout of acid reflux and can't sleep.

Almost time to get up and wondering what part of the drive the dog will have shit on during the night,

Hope water in ice cube tray is frozen for 2nd iced coffee in 2 hours.

Watch Rachel Maddow.

Every Day.

I spotted a dot of something on the toilet bowl last night. As I picked it up, I realized it was a cute little lady bug. But I tossed it in the toilet bowl out of an 'ick' factor.

I felt really guilty afterwards.

Lady bugs are important to our environment.

I pulled my luggage out to see how many bags I could put in the back of my MKX without folding down the rear seats. 3 28" Spinners, 3 21" Spinners and a rolling garment bag if you're wondering. That should be more than enough for two people, probably three for a week. Last trip I had Luggage for five in my Expedition. the aforementioned luggage plus another two large bags, two small bags and a rolling duffel. and everyone's carry-ons

I'm glad I have an excuse not to drive so many people on the next trip.

Snacking on homemade peanut butter cookies with dark chocolate chips that I prepared earlier in the day and kept refrigerated for my wee hours snack attack. My mouth was watering so bad that I didn't allow them to cool off properly. Oh well. Mmmm.

R432, it's not as underwhelming the second time you post it.

I feel like having a sandwich.

I'm getting sleepy. Working evenings and/or nights is doing a number on my inner clock. I now require an alarm clock to play it safe. Zzzzz time. Ahhh.

I just watched this advert:

Although clicking on your link was a bit worrisome r436, that commercial is, indeed, quite underwhelming.

I just learned that canine narcolepsy is a thing:

[quote]canine narcolepsy is a thing

And a damn adorable thing at that.

I skipped work today. I wasn't feeling that great, but I wasn't that sick either.

Oh, and since I was home all day I was annoyed by the roofers working next door. I couldn't even sit outside or have the windows open for too long.

I just ate my supper meal. Tasted like shit.

Saw the first hummingbird of the year at my porch feeder.

No shit r443?! I love hummingbirds and just bought a new feeder.

Get a feeder with perches so the hummingbird can sit on it while feeding. Then you can get a better look at it and take good pictures. I bought this one about 12 years ago and it's still going strong. But I don't use packets for nectar. I just use water and sugar.

1/4 cup sugar to 1 cup water.

Ha, the photo is cropped on DL so you can't see the perches, but the full pic shows them

I am doing soft messy stools lately. I bought a longer shower hose so I can use the shower head as a bidet while sitting on the edge of the tub. It's better than using a ton of ass wipes and faster than having to take a shower after each messy dump. I have to add that what will happen now is I will have the opposite problem and start getting constipated and have to deal with a whole other stool story. I will keep you informed.

[quote]I will keep you informed.

My breath will remain un-bated.

I absolutely HATE my new job. What a bunch of mean, old fat bitches and young mean gurls. The few guys in nursing are either anti-social weirdos or even bigger twats than the chicks. I don't see me being there too much longer. I have other offers.

Strangely enough...after I stand my ground and tell the meanies off, they seem to like me better. This place is crazy, and I will be too if I remain working there. No thanks... Gonna miss my 2 guy crushes though. They work the day shift and in different departments than mine. Probably why they stick around.

I heard "Born This Way" earlier today. I'd forgotten how blatantly it rips off "Express Yourself". I quite like GaGa, but I can't understand why she was never sued for that.

This is not a parody.

Perhaps not r451, but is certainly underwhelming.

I was thinking of going to the town administration office to see about their adult education courses in the fall

You have to admit - she has the perfect name for it.

I have diarrhea

I wonder if it's because I'm on antibiotics

I sat in chocolate while wearing white shorts. Luckily I was at home and husband told me before I ran out to CVS for some Advil. It looked like I sat on a turd.

And it came out easily with cold water and some dish soap.

I live in a 1/1 condo with reasonable HOA dues.

I prewashed fabric before starting a new reupholstery project and it shrank by 10%. Part of me wants to duct tape 10% back on and get back to business. Instead, I have to recut and prewash and iron a new piece. I want the excitement of tacking shit onto wood! Blech.

R458 wins.

I'm sitting here drinking my coffee and ice water. listening to my playlist of current list of indie pop. Thinking about cocks and feet as usual.

I'm thinking about Prince. He's dead you know.

I just put 'Light Ash Brown' on the crown/top of my hair, and 'Light Ash Blond' on the sides. I hope it turns out okay.

I realized that R460 and I are simpatico. I'm drinking coffee, and am thinking about cocks and feet too. Gay porn actors must be barefoot or I won't watch it.

I just finished work and I just checked my bank balance. I have to pay the waste water bill.

In honour of Wayne Rooney's retirement from international football, someone reposted this article featuring his most memorable tweets. He tweets the way he looks: like a caveman. Have to admit I never would have had him down as a Whitney fan.

[quote] @WayneRooney I'll put u asleep within 10 seconds u little girl. Don't say stuff and not follow up on it. I'll be waiting

[quote] Mr bean. Funny

[quote] @piersmorgan shut up u egg and get out of cowells hole. Won't tell u again.

[quote] Utd til I die. Everton til I die. Believe. Come together. The beatles. Leg.

[quote] Linekar tell them the full message what i said.

[quote] Whitney has passed away. RIP u will live on forever. Cant believe it. I wanna run to u. Really cant believe this. @

[quote] I grew up listening to whitney. So everyone asking why im tweeting about her. Show some respect. Best female artist of all time

I just had a fight with my insurance provider. They were being ridiculous and didn't want to cover one of my inhalers since it's a new prescription for me. They were willing to pay for one month, but not for two. The inhaler only comes in a two month supply, that's the way it's packaged. Luckily, my pharmacist called them on my behalf and after about an hour, I got it sorted out. Those bastards are always trying to get out of paying. I'm sure they would have been happier if I would have just paid for the prescription and didn't make the call to them. Assholes.

I bought some common milkweed so monarchs could lay eggs. I thought I saw a few eggs under a few leaves. But I checked every day for caterpillars and there aren't any.

There are ants, grasshoppers, birds, wasps, ticks, flies and other assorted fauna out there so I guess the eggs or caterpillars got eaten

R458 - just out of curiosity why wouldn't you pre-wash then cut?

I wonder what happened to AIKC. Nervous breakdown maybe?

Never take prescription meds that have changed color.

I'm sitting here waiting for my Chinese food to be delivered. Tomorrow, I will dine on the leftovers.

My earphones stopped working.

I did laundry today and now I'm missing a sock.

My dog is sitting on my left foot.

I'm not flossing tonight.

[quote]Never take prescription meds that have changed color.

Actually, those are my favorite kind.

I have an open invitation. I may never use it, so I'll just close it.

I wish I could be recording at a time when hummingbirds are fighting. They sound so ridiculous, like a cartoon.

I am 53yrs old keep myself in shape. look 53 (twist on datalounge) young guys love to hook up with me , if i have some cash........anyway i am pretty smooth, at night in bed with my dogs i love to caress my own body , especially my legs. i always had muscular legs and ass . but there is a bump on my left cheek and it really ruins the entire smooth feel out i enjoy nightly. i think i know a place i could go to get it removed but i dont or have not yet because really whats the point?

Thinking about watching the new season of Project Runway while I suck down another vodka tonic.

R480 . what a night.........oh and you can watch that perfect speciman of ALPHA MALE tim gunn...................bleeeech just lost my dinner. god why did you create Tim Gunn? the world has never known such misery

I barely felt the tip of my Fleet applicator enter my anus. Does that make me a whore?

Caffeine free diet Coke - didn't anyone there taste it before they put it on the market?

Steps' debut album was one of the first CDs I ever owned (don't judge me, I was ten!). I didn't realise at the time that one of the tracks, "Love U More", was a cover. Anyway, I recently looked up the original and discovered that at 3:02, it features the lyric: "We can turn wine into water/As fathers rape their daughters." (Unsurprisingly, this was cut from Steps' version). WTF? What a weird line to include in a dance song.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

[quote]R102 I vacuumed the wool rug (again) because it's shedding.

Why DO wool rugs shed? It annoys me. I buy a lot of my stuff at thrift stores in nice areas, partially because I don't like things to look too [italic]nouveau riche[/italic]. (It's better when stuff's broken in and shows a little wear.)

But, is it because the fibers break down and detach over time?

(My first thought...)

Certified, at last!

Never eat that piece of 'chocolate' that fell on your chest whilst lounging on the sofa when the dogs have been jumping on you.

I bought a set of flatware six months ago that can't go in the dishwasher. I have completely stopped using the dishwasher as a result, and I had wash all of my dishes now

I wash my dishes too.