Your Worst Date?

I don't see what the problem was. Missed opportunity, on your part.

Are they making porn musicals now? Actually, that's not a bad idea.

I've had a few worst dates, but the one I remember most was the guy who was a newcomer to NYC...I forget where we met. Online, I guess. We met up and he INSISTED we go to the Olive Garden. I kept saying, "We're in New York, there are at least six authentic Italian restaurants within a few blocks of here, wouldn't you prefer?" And he demanded Olive Garden. I knew it was already a bad sign. But we went...and the line was around the block. He was SO PISSED. So we went to a "real" Italian restaurant. I don't remember much else except the conversation was stilted and awkward.

A few days later I saw him coming out of the NYU men's room and I thought, "That's weird. He doesn't go to school here."

R3 so why was he there? And did he like the authentic Italian food?

OP I've been lusting after a married, bi actor/singer lately and I know (a) it's never gonna happen and (b) it'd just be bad news if it did, so your story is a good reminder for me that sometimes you're better off not getting what you wish for. Please do elaborate on what specific things he wanted you to do.

I invited a guy over and I was jerking myself off as I was giving him head. Suddenly as I reached my orgasm I felt what I thought was a silent fart, but was horrified to discover a a small brown patch of liquid on the tile floor. I had squirted diarrhea. I was never so mortified. The guy never came back either, not surprisingly.

Holy Shit R6!

Wow, R6. My condolences. By the way, are you very old? Or were you just sick at the time?

Not very old, I'm in my mid 40s and not obese. But I have loose bowels frequently and I'm not sure why. I did do some poppers with the guy which probably relaxed my spincter too much.

And this tragedy happened as I was nutting. I guess I lost control as my body was having the orgasm.

I sympathize with R6 but that was pretty funny.

R6 why didn't he come back?

Blind date.

One arm.

It was never brought up prior to, or during the date.

I'm going on a first date tomorrow and this thread is giving me anxiety.

The guy who claimed he loved me and proceeded to cyberstalk me after one date

The guy was a aeronautical engineer, he'd been asking me out online for about three years and I finally said yes. He was of middle eastern decent Though he looked more Italian and had an Italian first and last name. The restaurant he chose ended up being insanely loud so after having a drink at the restaurants bar, we headed out in search of a quieter eatery. He insisted on paying the bill, whereas I preferred to go dutch.

At dinner he kept talking about his salary and how he was doing so well and that he always pays when he goes out with his friends from work because he has no partner or children so he has more disposable income. He once again insists on paying the bill, which I really wasn't fond of.

Then he proceeds walk us to a country western bar that is frequented by tourists and out of town rednecks. We walk right by one of my regular hangouts that's hopping and full of people I know, he says he's never really liked the place. I've seen him there on several occasions since that night. Anyway, once again he's insisting on paying for everything. I insist on buying the next round and he refuses to get anything other than a bottled beer because he's "doing so much more well than me" (an assumption that he's repeated several times up until this point.) At this point, he proceeds to tell me how skinny I am and how he usually dates guys much much bigger than me. and goes into detail about how he's had to defend past boyfriends from bullying about their weight (I'm a bear, and he's more of an otter. I generally go for other bears.) Then I find out that he shaves all his body hair due to a wreck while DUI a few years before, and he has scars somewhere that made his body hair look funny, so he chose to keep his body shaven. (no body hair is a big turn off for me, I can't obtain an erection for a smooth guy.)

We leave the country western place, walk back by the place I wanted to stop at before and leads me to a door on a back street that I'd never noticed. This was the fun part of the date. It was a members only prohibition era speakeasy. decorated as it would have been at the time. with mixed antique chairs and low tables with a small stage for burlesque and songstresses there was a door man who opened a tiny, barred window upon ringing the bell and asked for the name, checked the membership roll and let us in. We stayed there until about 2:30 am . I still can't believe that I didn't know that the place existed. (I'm now a member).

At this point he's insisting on getting me a hotel room because both of us live outside of town and had been drinking (I'd had five drinks and a beer since 8:00pm because he was insisting on paying for everything). I finally got him settled on a cab to my Best friends house in midtown and he insisted on riding along. I had the cab drop me off at the address (one that my friend had moved from a few months before, but his ex was still living there.) went around back and after the cab left I called one of my own to take me back to my car.

For a few weeks afterward he'd call me drunk, from home while watching college basketball.

This was in February, that december my best friend called and told me that the guy had been messaging him and wanted the three of us to go out for drinks. I told my friend (who knew the whole story) that the guy was more his type anyway and that I'd sit it out. They ended up hooking up with the guy topping. At some point, while inside of my friend, this middle eastern guy, who seemed nice, if arrogant, says to my friend something along the lines of "Would you believe I've been fucking a high standing republican for two years. My friend literally told the guy to get out of him. He was very upset and insulted by this and my friend ended up consoling him and his hurt ego while they waited on the taxi to come pick the guy up.

R16, name of "high standing Republican" please.

R17 My friend didn't ask and I don't think he cared. I would have wanted to know too. This is Georgia so I can't think of anyone in the area who could be that important. I'm figuring it was one of the upper management at the aerospace company who likely makes large campaign contributions.

This shit is the best you all got ?!? He fucked republicans ? So what ?!? I had a first date with a guy who took me to his shack in the middle of nowhere , proceeded to get get bombed and passed out , then left the next morning to go to work without waking me up . I wake up in a tin roof shack , hungover , with nothing to drink except tepid sulfur water . The bastard didnt even have ice trays ! I sat in that un-airconditioned hellhole ( july ... florida , need I say more ? ) for TWELVE hours , till he finally got home from work . Since we didnt fuck the night before , he wanted to fuck then . I told him if he didnt take me back to where he got me , Id cut his goddamn head off . That was a very long , silent , hostile ride . Before anyone asks , he had no phone either . I met a guy in orlando , somewhat older than me but very cute , who asked me out . He shows up to pick me up for the date in an ancient lincon continental with a dented fender that made left turns impossible , and takes me to this shit hole of a bar , where he proceeds to pull out a Crown Royal bag full of change to pay for drinks . I excuse myself , head for the bathroom and slide out the front door instead . As Im running away from the bar he comes out and chases me screaming my name .

I like yours the best r19, it has FLAVAH!

I don't get R16s story. Can you summarize it?

[quote] (no body hair is a big turn off for me, I can't obtain an erection for a smooth guy.)

attain

[quote]He was of middle eastern decent Though he looked more Italian and had an Italian first and last name.

If he's Middle Eastern, why does he have an Italian name?

R16, he bought you drinks and helped you discover a new place. He seems like a douche, but if that's the worst then you have made fairly good choices.

What's the point of saying they're famous if you aren't going to name names or at least give hints????

R21 TL;DR: I wen't on a date that mentioned his salary and/or repeatedly told me that he was doing better than me financially at least once every 20-30 minutes. insisted on paying for everything despite my protests, finally allowed me to buy him one beer while grinning in a way that indicated he was humoring me. Fucked my friend at a later date a mentioned having sex with a Republican mid-stroke.

R23 I wondered the same, I never asked about nationality before we met, He goes by a short form of his first name, I'm assuming that it is actually a common middle eastern name that he's anglicised. I'm thinking he may have had european ancestry. His family left Iraq in the early 90s when his father decided that Saddam was crazy after he invaded Kuwait. HIs parents are in Switzerland and his siblings are spread out across Western Europe.

R24 I agree, had he not talked about his salary all night and not had three drinks to my one we would have had an awesome night. If he'd have left salary out of the conversation and not confirmed his alcoholism by calling drunk several times afterwards, I would have considered a second date.

I still don't understand why that qualifies as a worst date, R16. He sounds annoying, but you got through the evening with no drama. The republican fucking part is like a separate story not closely related to this first, you're not part of it so why is it significant? That was a weird story. At least you didn't shit on the floor like I did.

I met a guy online who was a doctor... a shrink..... the first time we chatted on the phone, he jerked off and came. Which I realized at the end of the process, not as part of it. But, hey, everybody wants to marry a doctor, right? So we met for dinner, some nights later. And if it lasted an hour and a half, I talked for 75 minutes of it. He said nothing, could say nothing, it seemed. He just looked like a little turtle, crawling into his shell. I thought it was me.

Fast forward about a year and I opened the paper to read an article about his losing his license for diddling his patients.

r13 I had something similar happen. I guy I met online (nice picture and profile), but he turned out to have a serious handicap when I met him in person. He told me the name of the condition where he would uncontrollably twitch every few seconds. He said he could tell I would understand after talking to me online. I made the best of the evening and went out for dinner with him, but I could not wait for that night to end.

[quote] I excuse myself , head for the bathroom and slide out the front door instead . As Im running away from the bar he comes out and chases me screaming my name .

That was a shitty thing to do. I don't understand people who can't just be up front and honest. Always passive-aggressive.

R29 it he was nice-looking and a nice person, why didn't you pursue it? Are you that shallow?

[quote]His family left Iraq in the early 90s when his father decided that Saddam was crazy after he invaded Kuwait. HIs parents are in Switzerland and his siblings are spread out across Western Europe.

R26 and where are you located? Where did you meet him?

r31 No, I'm not shallow, but I couldn't stand the twitching. I felt sorry for him, but if you can't handle it, you can't handle it.

He didn't have a black Amex. I don't date poor people.

Worst first date: After an hour, he tells me he is married (to a woman) and can't "go through with this" with me. He feels too guilty. Later I found out that was a lie. He just wasn't into me, so he made that up as an excuse!

R35 why wasn't he into you? And how did you find out the truth?

He dated a friend of mine later. I told my friend he was married and he confronted him. He admitted he wasn't married and he just told me that because I wasn't his type.

R19: "The bastard didn't even have ice trays!"

MARY!!!

My worst:

Cute guy from Italy asks me out at the pool. I foolishly went with the body more with the face and getting to know his personality before, but he looked great in a speedo. There it is, my fault. Anyway, all through the date he pouted, never smiled, never laughed. I did everything I could to ask about his work, his life, Italy, to talk about what I liked on my visits to Italy, etc., to try to start a conversation about myself to see what he might like about me and despite his great English he just seemed unhappy about it and asked me about nothing. So far so boring.

By then the very funny and witty waitress had taken a liking to "us" (well, me, anyway). She visited the table like the best waitress ever - brought us free appetizers when they screwed up the first one, apologized for the errors, gave us a free glass of wine and she even made the menu seemed entertaining. She and I started to banter a bit when I made small talk. Then she touched my arm, then my back when I made her laugh. She tried to touch my date too to see how he was doing and he pulled his arm away. When she left the table, my date said "I don't like her touching you." He meant it. He did NOT like it. I tried to laugh. He did not think it was funny.

Got through dinner and said goodnight. He tried to kiss me so I let him to do it, partly just to see, partly to be nice. Somehow with a light kiss, he managed to slobber on my chin. I laughed and said not to worry and was glad to get out of there.

He called me the next day to "ask about our date" and how I thought it went and if I wanted to go out again. I said he didn't seem to ask about me much about myself and I didn't feel a connection. He got mad and blamed me for it. And then he wrote me two emails asking me out again - twice. Then a pissy email telling me my faults, most of which for not being more into him.

Horrible. Still my worst date ever.

R38 I LOL'ed at that,too. If he had had ice cube trays, but they were plastic instead of metal, would that be a point off, too?

R38 , R40 ... imagine sitting in a sweltering house , hung over , with NOTHING to sip on but lukewarm sulfur water ! ice wouldnt have made it any tastier , but at least it would have been cold ! I literally felt like I was dying , the struggle was REAL !

It was a long time ago. 1974. I told the cab driver to take me to a gay bar. He turned around and said, "Oh, take it up the backside do ya?" Cheeky. I ended up at the Sombrero Club, watching the cool dance floor. Some guy walked by, saw my cigarettes and said "Parliament? Why that's our form of government." He was cute and funny and he took me home and while we were doing it I looked down and he was asleep. I mean I wasn't inside him or anything, I only realized it when I heard him snore. So I just sat by his window, listened to the radio, and watched the sun come up over Albert Hall.

R4 I believe he was there because at the time that men's room was a notorious tearoom and people didn't need ID in those days. He begrudgingly admitted the food was good IIRC.

My other worst date: I go out with a guy, again, no recollection of where we met so it must have been the Internet. We meet at a bar, he's not bad looking, but he has "Larchmont lockjaw," which is odd, because as pretentious as he is he is also Southern. We get into a discussion about family, where he talks about how much he hates his family, that his parents hate each other, that everyone is unhappy and has a stick up their asses, his mother is a withholding bitch... but that he grew up with wealth, so he at least has class. Then gets into a conversation about slavery where he basically starts talking about how the slaves had it better back then and that his family always treated the help well. I start responding to this calmly while explaining why racism is a bad thing even if you treat the help well, and he continues to make more and more asinine, bigoted statements. I get a little more heated at that point, and then he says: "You don't have to yell" (I wasn't yelling, we were in a bar and I was trying to make my voice carry.) "I'm sorry," I said, "I have a tendency to project. I come from a family of loud talkers." "Well, we never raise our voices in my family. It's barbaric. It's animalistic." "Well," I responded, "Maybe if your family yelled a little more you wouldn't all be as miserable as you told me you are."

I then left.

A late 30's Cuban American investment banker, polo player, millionaire. Horse hung, popped my cherry, lots of fun, not smarter than me. Me - 25 post ivy league fancy boy doing arty shit for 20k a year. Dated several months, so much fun, such good sex, what an antisemite though. It's late 80's and were at San Domenico and everybody knows him and he starts in again on the "K*kes" controlling NY and Wall Street and everything good in this world and I just couldn't take it anymore and read him to filth and walked out of the restaurant kissing that meal ticket goodbye.

Long story of the "getaway and the chase' made short:

We finally ended up in bed at his place. Finally.

All he wanted, and insisted on, was to be furiously jerked off while I continually spit on his dick and he kept shouting "Stroke it! Stroke it! Stroke it!" with a bit of a Valley Girl accent.

The split second his mucilage dribbled out I said, "How do I get out of here?"

R45 Were you covered in sweat when you woke up from this dream?

You've got to be an exceptional kind of shallow asshole to find someone so not your type that you have to concoct an epic lie within one hour of a date starting.

r48 Well, you've probably described about 75% of the single gay male population who are going on blind dates, but most of them can do it in ten minutes or less.

Was asked out by a successful and politically connected lawyer. Not the hottest guy on earth. Sort of George Castanza-looking. But he was interesting and funny and rich so I thought why not. We get back to his place after dinner and he gets naked and his erect dick is the size and shape of my thumb from the tip to the first joint. Literally an inch and a half. Also, he's a top. So he thinks I'm gonna be sucking on this thing. Also, he got off on forcing his bottoms to suck him. So he's trying to force my mouth onto this teeny thumb-dick. I fight him off and say "sorry this isn't working for me" and leaves. He called once or twice more but I didn't take the calls.

Sigh.

I like how R50 slipped in the "trying to force men to suck his cock" at the end to de-cuntify himself.

A couple of great DL stories from the past ...

Somebody posted about tricking with a bottom who wanted to be called "Betty" and kept screaming "Betty loves cock!" Poster got fed up and told him, "Betty has left the building!" before throwing him out.

Another poster described bringing home a hot, mustachioed "masc" type who got out of his jeans to reveal a glitter-festooned miniskirt underneath and who pulled out a crack pipe and started getting high. "Hairy drag boy is smoking crack in my living room! Lucky me! Lucky, lucky me!"

R51, let me get this straight. If you have an aversion to 1 inch dicks you are a cunt?

OMG, r52. I remember that "Lucky me" story. Thanks for the laugh!

In 1980 I was 20. Met a guy at Tea Dance at Chaps in Boston. He was my type then,older, swarthy,hairy, mustache. Instead of going back to mine, he asked if he could take me to dinner? In those days I was always so broke that I could never eat in restaurants so I was very excited to do so. We went to what I think was the first ever TGIF,on Newbury St. After we sat down I realized he was kind of overbearing and I didn't like the way he was acting towards our server,but I tried to ignore it because I wanted to enjoy my food.

We order and he excuses himself to use the restroom. He comes back and tells the server there's no toilet paper in the restroom." Our food comes and I only remember what he ordered because as soon as this gigantic salad was placed in front of him he proceeded to projectile-vomit into it! I'm stunned of course and speechless.

I feel like I should have mentioned he was being an asshole, because I didn't feel bad that I ran out of there when he went to the restroom again. I was so disappointed I didn't get to eat my dinner. I just hadn't noticed how drunk he was, because I used to see him around and I really don't think he remembered me.

Weirdly, I have tons of these.

Please share, R55 - More stories!

R51 how do you mean?

I have another, though I don't know if it technically qualifies as a date because he was an acquaintance whom I'd known for several years and fooled around with a few times who I'll call John. John was invited to a new years eve gala at the gorgeous home of one older (think late 70s) gay men in town to whom I'd only been been introduced to a few times in passing, but who John had know since his early 20s (I was 28, John was 40).

Being single at the time John asked me if I'd like to go and I gladly accepted as the host's antique collection was considered legendary by many in town and I loved the idea of viewing said collection for myself. John and I agreed to meet for dinner beforehand at one of the nicer places in town along with a few other friends who would be attending the nights festivities.. We assembled beforehand for a drink, I noticed that John was wearing a Vest and not a waistcoat, and his wearing of leather oxfords that had a toe cap. I looked at the other four men in our party and noticed that, like me, they were wearing the appropriate patent leather pumps, (Steve's were vintage worth killing for) after a couple cocktails we were seated for dinner..

John took off his dinner jacket before sitting down. Not his overcoat, HIS DINNER JACKET! He draped it over the back of the chair as though he were a child in school. Otherwise he was fine throughout dinner and either did not notice, or ignored the looks of us, his dinner companions, or of those who were seated after us.

We took at taxi to the home of our host for the evening, we joined the receiving line to greet our host and almost immediately after John motioned to the maid, who'd answered the door and asked (to the group) "Whoever heard of a white maid?" Now, as a gay man in the south, I enjoy the writing of Florence King as much as any other man, but this was not an appropriate time for such a quote.

The rest of the night was great. our host was happy to show off his collection and recite funny (and I thought a bit made up) stories about how he acquired some of the pieces. The pianist never tired and I don't believe that he took more than two, very short breaks over the next several hours. By the end we were singing show tunes. It was positively delightful.

Afterwards I thanked John for inviting me, but declined to have sex with him. A few weeks later I saw him at a local dive and during the conversation he mentioned his faux pas saying that he did these things intentionally and loved the look in my eyes when he removed his jacket.

This was nearly six years ago and until he moved back to his hometown a couple of years ago I avoided conversation (and sex) with him. In this town you don't fuck around with formality in this town. Ignorance is one thing, but this... I still feel disappointment when I think about it. Actually, writing about this has put me into a foul mood.

R58....

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

R58,

Bunny Bixler? Muriel Puce? Gloria Upson?

Many gay men have never been on a real 'date' (dinner, movie, ice cream cone, etc.). They think everything is a hookup.

[quote]The rest of the night was great. our host was happy to show off his collection and recite funny (and I thought a bit made up) stories about how he acquired some of the pieces.

Why did you think they were made up?

R63 It just felt like he made up a few places and conversations so that everything wasn't "I found this at a little shop in New York in 1974" or I got this at an estate sale in France five or six years ago." Or I traded a 18th century carved sideboard for this."

Some pieces. especially those from estate auctions you could tell the stories were real, you could see in his eyes how pleased he was with himself to outbid this person or that. He seemed to have gotten a good number of items from either casual hookups or their mothers. The tricks seemed to always look "just like" Rock Hudson Monty Clift, or some other actor. He also apparently saved a lot of pieces just moments before some clueless fool cleaned them. He does have amazing taste. He's over 80 now and spends most of his time at the home left to him by his long deceased partner one level and a 6 hour drive from here. I've also heard that he is no longer driving, I can only imagine that when he passes the estate auction will be epic.

I do hope it's all photographed beforehand he has some pieces that are so intricately carved that I feel sorry that the actual craftsman's name is not known, Had these individuals been artists with a brush instead of with chisels and blades they would have gotten the recognition that they deserved.

Mine was about 15 years ago, so the details have faded slightly, but here's the general idea ...

We met online, and agreed to meet for dinner. I don't mind guys who are average looking at all, so the comment above about the George Costanza guy reminded me of this one. At some point he started in on how his marital status was "divorced, so no one ever thinks I'm gay" followed by his specifically requesting validation from me that I didn't think he seemed at all gay either. I seem to recall that he was so hyper that such was actually beside the point. Later, no hint at all that this was coming, he reaches into the pocket of his sport coat and pulls out a large wad of crumpled banknotes, which he rooted through furiously until he found a ten pound British note ( I believe the rest of his stash were American bills). This was thrust at me as he asked, "You said you travel a lot, do you want to buy this at the current rate?" I passed on it, and him. Not long after that around midnight we were chatting online, until he announced, "Sorry, gotta go - someone at the door! "

Runner up: fellow arrived smelling rank - as though he had sprayed himself with Eau de B O cologne. Ordered a cocktail, I believe it was a cosmopolitan. He took one sip, and pushed it away dramatically. The waiter noticed, asking him what was wrong, offering to remake the drink, etc. Stinky's reply: " I have never had that drink before, so there's no use in remaking it. I don't like it!"

(R64) Double snoresville....ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ....

Went out with a clean-cut corporate type who seemed very calm and friendly when we first met. At the bar/restaurant he pounded drinks (I think he might have been drinking before we met) got drunk and bitterly ranted about his ex, how badly the guy had screwed him over and how desperately he wanted revenge.

Being the good DLer I am, I said, "Wow, it sounds like you'd like this guy to die in a grease fire!"

He gave me a funny look and didn't say anything.

I left the bar when he started crying. The scene was really upsetting me. Not in touch now, I hope he is happier.

R16 had the worst story.

Went on a date with a man I'd met online at a bar which was hosting a rising singer I liked. He got progressively more drunk and belligerent. The night ended with him throwing drinks at people as he yelled, Get out of my way! I can't see the talent!

I have no doubt that R58 had the starring role in many "worst date" stories.

Oh my! It was lucky he didn't step on a pingpong ball, r58!

R58 and his ilk are the very queens I avoid most vociferously!

Well it was ghastly! Well it was just ghastly!

I'm a woman.

Had a date with a girl that didn't really go anywhere...walked the girl back to her house, she was quite drunk...her ex lived there and was silently glowering at me in the living room...the ex suddenly leaped to her feet in a rage and knocked over two ten-foot bookshelves full of books on to the living room floor!!! Made a tremendous noise and would have hurt me seriously if I had been hit by one of the shelves. My date and the ex screamed at each other. The other roommates in the house woke up and started yelling. I got the hell out of there. It was really dark, not a good neighborhood, took forever to get a cab....what a horrible night of lesbian drama!

My current GF is one of the calmest people I know and rarely gets angry.

I used to be a bad date. Really bad date. I've been happily partnered for 23 years to another horrible person.

The least bad thing I did back when dating other people was get so drunk I threw up on some guys shoes. That's the least.

R70 how do you mean?

[quote]I've been happily partnered for 23 years to another horrible person.

How can you be 'happily partnered,' if he's horrible?

They are both horrible, R76. So they are evenly matched.

You bitches don't know a good time if you think it wouldn't be fun to have a cocktail with r58.

I guess my worst date was the time this guy tried to kill me. He disappeared to change into something more comfortable and when he came back into the room he was wearing a slave outfit with leather harness, jockstrap, etc. And he was holding something in his hand. He told me "I know who you are now." And then he walked over to me, put this metal gadget to my forehead and said, "This is a nail gun." The guy apparently had some sort of psychotic break when he was out of the room and I just thought I'm not going to move, I'll just start talking real softly and assure him I'm not who he thinks I am. It took a while, but it worked. He decided he wasn't going to kill me. And he let me go. I never went to the police. It was just too weird.

You win R79. The worst thing I've had a guy in fetish wear pull out was a sawzall with a dildo on it.

What's a 'date'?

I was on a first date at a gay bar. He excused himself to go to the bathroom. It was taking him an inordinate amount of time. I thought maybe he had ditched me and left.

I went to the bathroom to check for him and found him getting fucked bareback in a little back room area I didn't know was even there. What hurts the most is he wasn't even drunk!

R58 can't be real. I just don't believe people like it exist.

(R82) Where was/is this gay bar?

R79 - you fail. That's a lie, because if its the truth, and you didnt go to the police, you are insane.

How old are YOU , R85 ? For many of us of a certain age , if you went to the cops as a gay man , YOUR ass could end up in jail . They were notour friends . So you just took a mugging , or a bashing , and were grateful it wasnt worse .

Ah Ok R86, I apologise, I didn't think about the time period when that happened. gross.

R83, I was laughing out loud when I read the parts about the vest instead of a waistcoat, leather oxfords with a toe cap instead of patent leather pumps and HIS DINNER JACKET. I see these showing up in future threads.

Marry me, R58 - please!

I'll buy you all the English opera pumps with grosgrain bows you could ever want!

I bet you have a stem loop on the back of your lapel - I'm in love!

The only bad dates I ever had were with women and there were many of them, starting in high school and thankfully ending in my early 20s. When I am on my death bed, I will want back every penny and every minute wasted dating boring women. (The women with personalities at least gave me some laughs and that counts for a lot so they weren't a waste of time).

I can stand people, men or women, who are social retards who can't hold a conversation. No excuse. Ask a fucking question if nothing else.

(That's "can't stand", of course).

Can'tstandya!

Well this is kind of a second date horror scenario but I'll tell it anyway. Chicago Early 80s. I was going to college about 5 hours away from there but had traveled to the city to visit and hang out with a longtime friend living there over a June weekend. I was out on Broadway in Boystown (then called New Town) on that Saturday afternoon separated from my friend who had had to go somewhere to do something for a few hours. I was looking for a place to eat when a hot young guy passing by me made it quite obvious that he was cruising me. After a short time of him glancing at me and me making glances back at him he stopped to talk. He told me he lived right around the corner and wanted to know if i would like to come over for a beer. I said okay. I followed him to his sparse apartment and we ended up having a nice quickie right after we got inside the door. We talked'a bit as I was zipping up to leave and I learned he was of Greek descent and was presently attending Med school. We say our goodbyes and I left.

After that weekend, I returned to my college town where I was enrolled in summer school classes. Sometime over the following week, I started thinking about this guy a bit, remembering how handsome he was and how hot the sex had been between us. Then I hit on an idea. Even though we had exchanged no contact information between us and I only knew his first name (which I've long since forgotten) I was determined to reconnect with this guy for another round of nookie. I contacted my friend back in Chicago and gave him a general description of the location and building where this guy lived. I asked my buddy to pass by there and look on the apt buzzers in front and see if there was one with a greek name on it. He got back to me a few days later and said yes and then he gave me the spelling of the name and the address of the building.

I wrote the guy a letter (no e-mail back then remember) re-introducing myself and telling him how much i'd enjoyed our short session together and informed him that I was gonna be in town for the forth of July and that I'd stop by while there to see if he might wanna hook up again. So I travel back up there and am hanging out with friends and at some point get the courage to break away from them to try his apartment buzzer to see if he's at home. After identifying myself over the intercom, I'm immediately buzzed in and when I arrive at the apt door, the guy i'd previously met opens it with an awkward smile on his face. He invites me in and i quickly see he's not alone. The other guy who is present there is much less attractive than the guy i'd been with (this other guy having pockmarks on his face and giving off a sour puss vibe) I sat down and realized there was an weird vibe in the room. Then it dawns on me that this other guy must be his lover (and roommate) and my presence there was creating a rift between them.

(continues at next post)

Being young and naive on both our parts, we stupidly ended up making plans to go to Grant Park to watch the Fireworks together later that night. I brought a friend with me and they had a friend with them too. As the wine started flowing, their friend started to get tipsy and began divulging information to me about the nature of the relationship between his friends. They were supposedly not in an open relationship, and when it was discovered that the hot greek had cheated with me in their apartment while the other guy was at work it was indeed a source of conflict between them.

Now everybody's getting somewhat drunk and becoming fast friends. I still had my eye on the guy I liked and I was still hoping to have another shot at having sex with him. After the show ends, I end up going back with them to their apartment. I didn't know what was gonna happen but I was resigning myself to a three-way if the opportunity presented itself even though i wasn't attracted at all to the lover but I didn't wanna miss out on action with the other one. Back in the apartment, the hot one and I end up making out. The lover was welcomed into the fold. We got undressed and got into bed. Even though both I and the guy i was hot on made an effort to include the lover in on the sex going on, it was pretty obvious that the passion was really only between me and the cute one. So while the sex is happening the lover unannounced gets up and opens the refrigerator (it was an efficiency apt and the kitchen and the bed were all in the same area. )

Out of the corner of my eye, I see he has taken a large pitcher out of the fridge. Then out of nowhere he throws the contents of it on us. It's very cold water. My guy angrily says to him, "What the fuck did you do that for?" The lover says back him, "You two looked like you were getting too hot so I decided to cool you off." I realized I should've never agreed to the three way since it seems it was forced on the lover who wanted no part of it.

I left soon after and never tried to contact the guy again.

r3 how you could possibly know if went to a school of 50,000 students. Perhaps he lied to you on the date. Sounds like he is on spectrum however.

r16. wow great story. Once in a blue moon you get a great story with vivid details that sounds completely authentic. I wonder if that guy has some type of personality disorder. Is he hot? I love creeps.

r90, same here bro. Increasingly bad dates with women help me realized I was gay. I was tired of having drunk sex. I wanted a real emotional connection. After I came out to my best friend, I never looked back.

Quit your fucking whining bitch-boy OP. Spit roast time if fantasy hottie's BF hot too. Or were you victim of a scam loverboys like to play? Was fantasy stud giving you the fuck-off, pre-arranging BF to run cock-block interuptus, because you weren't ALL that? Of course you'd never own up to it... Bitch, you got BUMPED.. Next....

Why wouldn't I own up to it. I wasn't the only guy whose fantasy he ruined. I've dated soap actors, porn stars, and singers. This guy was all three. Fantasy looks. He was also high, gross, a bad actor even in bed, plus he wanted to stick his arm up my butt. What would you have done?

R82 it was in NYC. The Works

I've told this story before about how I was someone else's worst date.

After meeting a guy at a bar, we got tipsy. I invited the guy to my place way uptown in Manhattan. We both feel asleep on the subway there. As I woke up, I was getting sober. I realized I didn't want to go home with him afterall. I got off at my subway stop while he was still sleeping. The subway then headed into the Bronx...

Great story R94

Personal ad date in the 90s. Good phone connection before. Tourette's or some form of it. We both ignored it and had a nice dinner. He didn't get laid.

Am I the only one believes that R58 lifted his story straight out of 'Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil'? Gay male formal dress affairs at an old guys house who ows lots of antiques with fantastic antiques and even more fantastic stories... sounds strangely familiar.

A walk down East Jones street in Savannah would show you that these people do still exist. Not only that, but Williams was never higher than second tier in Savannah Society. Berendt got little to nothing right in his book fringe characters based off of several people, many of whom were dead before he darkened our doorsteps. Emma Kelly is the only person he got right, and even then he never new her socially until the publicity for the book. He's also responsible for introducing Williams and Joe Odum , one of whom gave the other HIV, though it's contested which gave it to the other. (Odum by the way, is from Claxton, not Savannah) Berendt came to town after the first trial and fabricated much of the story. Williams was unfuckable to the gay men of class in Savannah, which is why he resorted to hustlers. and the boys who worked sales at the Sears on Broughton. The Antiques from his shop were largely restored pieces (restored as in cleaned and thereby losing most of their value. Though it is true that he restored some of the most beautiful homes in Savannah, and was clearly the better alternative to Adler he was never truly accepted. Had either of them been effective in their preservation efforts the old DeSoto would never have been torn down and replaced with that eyesore of a Hilton.

True Savannahians detest Berendt and his book even more than the tourists that it continues to bring in. He will never be welcomed at the Telfair Ball, and generally stays away from Savannah, because we all know him for what he is.

It's harder to be ranked lower than Paula Deen in this town, but Berent makes her look like a society hostess.

R106...Im so sure he is sobbing into his pile of money and lamenting about not being accepted by you and your fellow snots of savannah " society " relics . I love Savannah , and spent many happy days there , and Im grateful that the people I did meet werent like you . As for Williams , he was well known all over the south , not just there , and he had exquisite taste and an amazing eye for hidden treasures . Somebodys pissed SHE wasnt mentioned in said hated book !

Werq, R106 - now that's some tea!

Well, I had the hots for this mortician named Mr. JoyBoy but I realized after I met his mom that he was just a big ole queen with a mommie fixation !

Apparently John Berendt is a datalounger!

R107 , Hansford was shot three months before I was born. Williams died when I was 8. That book was published when I was 12. I'm hardly upset about not being mentioned.

My maternal grandparents were a part of Savannah's society and age group with the players in the narrative. Some they were acquainted with, others not at all. but the outraged discussions among those adjacent social circles definitely perked up my ears. And if some of you would stop being so disdainful of older gay men and actually listened to what they had to say, and the stories they will relay to you, you will learn a lot.

Savannahians did not start referring to it as "The Book" out of fondness or excitement. Mercer House is a boil on everyone's butt. Dot Kingery is generally referred to as "That Bitch Dot" she could have sold that house, even at her ridiculous asking price to some old Savannah family if it weren't for that book. Instead she's letting it fall apart, the exterior details are rotting beyond repair while she waits to make even more money off of the brother that she hated. No one wants that house. Hell, the other side of Lee Adler's house has been on the market for a couple of years. No one of any consequence wants to be associated with the tourists.

Oh, and to spoil your ending. Jim Williams fell dead in the Kitchen on the Garden level. Not in the study.

If your interested though you can live two doors down from mercer house and deal with the trolley tours, the horse shit and those ridiculous pedal trolleys all day and night. Oh, and lets not forget the walking tours.

R106 slaps the black help

I met a beautiful blonde boy named Brucie from Savannah, when he was taking a year away from SCAD at RISD and I was at Brown. We stayed casual lovers and I loved going to visit him in Savannah and his mostly poor, hip and charming crowd. Savannah is one of my favourite spots of decayed elegance and it has a wonderful feeling at night, Basically its not nearly as grand as you guys above make it out to be, which is very arch and comical.

r102, your a pos. If I ever saw you again I would deck you. Thanks for sharing tho.

The date took me to a John Waters film. I would have walked out, for the only time ever doing so, but he was seeing it for the Nth time, so I figured he really liked it. I found it repulsive. I think it was the one where Divine eats dog shit in the last scene.

R114. you meant - you're. You are.

He insisted we go to Red Lobster. I nearly died.

I have way too many to pick 1...

This one is pretty basic. A guy agreed to meet at a bar from grindr or some app. I told him I already had plans to see some friends, but he could meet us there (I was in town for a week only and want to see friends.) The guy kept asking me what my friends' names were, and so I said - why? do you think you'd know them? It's kind of a big city. He didn't reply, so I didn't reply. The guy comes in & the front part of the bar where it's quieter (my friends are in the back). I said hi and asked if he wanted a drink...he looked kind of pensive while I was at the bar... and then he turned around and ran out the door without saying a word. I thought maybe he wanted to smoke or I misheard him or something - no. He was gone. GONE!

I showed his picture to my friend later that night who said he did know him, and he was nuts. I was out for 6 hours that night, so I was then totally drunk and texted him something nasty that I completely forgot (no reply obviously). It's probably still on my phone. My friends now find this to be amusing and said "he was just being efficient...I should try that."

I have had several awful other ones though - usually the worst are the mutes. I'd say I went out with 3-4 mutes in 15 years where there was literally no talking or laughing or doing anything but staring at me like a zoo animal. This is usually after hours and hours of back and forth online chat, they suddenly lose the ability to talk.

He had a micro-penis.

I was on date #3 with this guy & he wanted to get Chinese food take-out at his place. First, he neglected to tell me he had 2 roommates (one of whom had a "bedroom" behind a folding screen where we were watching a movie and making out...so that was weird). He was 35-40 and successful, so I don't know what all the roommates were about. Anyway, the roommates weren't the crazy part - just a little weird.

I kept drinking tons of water because the Chinese food was so salty. Also, I ran a few miles earlier that day (and drank a lot of water). So, I kept going to the bathroom to pee. The guy was an ex-cop and kind of paranoid, and I guess he found this suspicious. Rather than saying anything, he went in to kiss me, and then grabbed my nostril and tipped my head back to look up my nose! I was like, wtf? Then, he actually kissed my nostril - and I was just thinking he was weird. (He was kinda hot and I could tell he was hard & had a huge dick - so I just let him do it.) Then, we kinda got back to making out a little, but this time - he put his full mouth on my nostril and BLEW AIR IN my nose. I jumped back and was like, what the fuck?? He just laughed.

He sat back up and we went back to watching the movie and he suddenly said "sorry I have to go to bed" (despite the monster boner) and kicked me out so fast that I didn't realize my car keys fell into the couch & I had to call him from outside. He answered, thankfully, but he said "don't come in please - I will bring them to you." Keep the cokehead outside!! I had no clue what he was doing until my friend later explained to me that my personality can come across like I am high (fast talker, topic jumping, etc...)...and the frequent bathroom trips seemed, to him, like I was doing coke every 20 min.

He's now happily married to a guy and has kids. And, I still haven't ever tried coke.

R120 reminded me. I was out with a Ptown cop when a couple of guys approached us and asked for drugs. I said we didn't have any and kept walking. My friend had to show off, and engaged them in talk. He later said he wanted to find out if they had drugs (to call it in). In short order, the two assaulted us. Fortunately, the one I fought wasn't much of a fighter. The other hit me once and packed a punch. My friend was beaten quite badly. I still have the newspaper clipping. They never called me to testify, I assume because he was a gay rest-a-cop.

R111 Give it a rest, Sally Cato. As Florence King wrote about Tanya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan, you're clearly common as pig trots, for all your puttin' on airs!

R115 must be a gay Republican or a frau.

I had been talking to a "doctor" online for a few days. He seemed okay, so we agreed to actually meet.

I waited for him outside my office after work. He parked his car and walked over and I noticed a shiny reddish spot on his forehead. As he came closer I realized it was an open sore (wound?). He wasn't bleeding, but it was wet and shiny. I tried not to stare but my eyes kept being drawn to it. I was more confused and intrigued than disgusted. Had he just bumped his head and didn't realize he'd broken his skin? Had he just picked off a scab?

Regardless, this seemed like a red flag and I apologized and said that I had to go home because I was feeling nauseated. He offered to drive me home and I accepted. When I opened the passenger side door, I saw that the foot well was full of blue McDonald's Filet-o-Fish wrappers and then the smell hit me. It was cross between burning plastic and a deep fryer. It was too late to turn down the ride so I breathed through my mouth until he dropped me off at my building.

When I got in my apartment, I deleted my profile on the site where we'd met and never spoke to him again.

I'd only slept with my longterm, undergrad boyfriend. He moved to France, then dumped me through a Facebook message a month before I was supposed to visit for the summer. I felt really stupid and inexperienced, so I went on a big ole slutty slut spree. I slept with more than 20 people in six months! Anyway, one night I went down to one of Austin's fine gay bars to continue along the Path of the Ho and I meet this beautiful man. Dark hair and eyes, pale skin, big dimples, nipples to the day (seriously) and a little bubble butt. Just beautiful. Well, he ends up coming home with me and we have this strangely intense sex. Lots of deep kissing and eye contact. It was just different and I felt really connected to him, even though we'd just met and I knew this was just a trashy, slutty hookup. We fall asleep.

At around 7am, I'm awoken to howls, He's clutching his head and making guttural sounds like he's dying in a barnyard. I ask him what's wrong and, swear to God, he's slobbering and unable to speak more than a couple of words at a time. It's unlike anything I've ever seen. At one point, he hangs over the side of my bed and just vomits everywhere. He does it again and again. There is more vomit than I have ever seen in my entire life. I decide to take him to the ER, but he's naked and incapacitated so I have to dress him. God damn, he was wearing skinny jeans and all my clothes are too small for him. I wake up my roommate (who is in bed with a trick of his own) who gives me a pair of his bagged out sweats, helps me both dress and drag this pukey mouth stranger out to my car. The hookup and I end up at the ER together for hours. I have to call his mom and end up on the phone with her for a half hour while she's hysterically driving there. She's a nurse, so she keeps asking me questions or telling me what to ask the hospital staff. I end up meeting his mom and sister just a few hours after we fucked! Oh my god! I lose all sense of shame. They have to know exactly what we'd just been up to, but they flat out don't care in light of the situation.

The hospital ends up giving him oxygen. He's finally in less pain and able to talk. He's completely embarrassed, but so thankful. He mentions the puke to his mom who sends a house cleaning crew to my house. Of course, they can't get in because my roommate has exited the premises due to the foul odor. I end up cleaning it all myself that night. Anyway, it turns out he has cluster headaches. This one was the worst he'd ever had and it led to a diagnosis. He'd secretly feared he had a brain tumor and was going to die, but was too afraid to go to the fucking doctor. Makes sense, right? "I just know I'm going to die! But I'm too afraid to go to the doctor because he might tell me that I'm going to die!"

Anyway, that was seven years ago. We're still together. He still gets the headaches, but we can better manage them.

Thats not really a worst date if you fell in love and are still together. Horrible experience I suppose but what a silver lining.

I know, I know, R126. But it was pretty insane at the time, especially since I didn't know this person at all.

Wow - after puke - I am not sure I could go back. Puke is pretty severe. There's actually a phobia about it (Emetophobia). I don't think I'm that bad - but close.

[quote]When she left the table, my date said "I don't like her touching you." He meant it. He did NOT like it. I tried to laugh. He did not think it was funny ... He called me the next day to "ask about our date" and how I thought it went and if I wanted to go out again. I said he didn't seem to ask about me much about myself and I didn't feel a connection. He got mad and blamed me for it. And then he wrote me two emails asking me out again - twice. Then a pissy email telling me my faults, most of which for not being more into him.

No offense to Italians r39, but this is the most Italian thing ever.

Love your story, R125. You showed a lot of class.

We remember you fondly too, R90.

I hope most of you ended up with each other, R131. Trust me, most of us wouldn't have wasted your time nor ours had society not dictated that was the "norm". Hopefully the day will come soon when gay teens can just openly date each other and skip the bullshit opposite sex phase. I don't think we;'re there yet but seems to be going in the right direction.

Just the same... A lot of you girls WERE really boring. Hope you bought a personality once you got older but I doubt it.

He was like so totally drunk and threw up all over me and I was, like, "Dad?!?!? Gross!!!"

LOL R133 (I think)

r124, in all fairness doctors are notorious are fast food, unhealthy eaters especially surgeons. They have no time to actually sit down for a meal.

R106 is right about that Hilton ruining the entire waterfront.

Worst date? So many: filthy apartments, nylons under the jeans, drunken rants, tricks passing out. But most of the thousand others were fun.

R136 , you're thinking about the Hyatt on River Street. It's ugly, but we've mostly adjusted to it. I was referring to the Hilton at the corner of Liberty and Drayton. The DeSoto Hotel stood there before, but it was razed for the unattractive "Desoto Hilton" to be built. Liberty street had already been desecrated by the building of Drayton tower after the second world war (it looks like a soviet apartment complex, it's often said that the best part of living in Drayton Tower is that its the only place in the neighborhood where Drayton Tower doesn't ruin your view). The Hilton managed to kill off off the former attractiveness of the corner and only the DeRenne Arms stands in tribute to the former beauty of the intersection. There is a movement brewing to ensure that the old Chatham High School isn't torn down, Oglethorpe Ave was violated by the civic center and if Chatham HS goes it will the death of property values south of Broughton, It'll be worse than what the tourist trap of "City Market" did to East St. Julian. Savannah's natural beauty and distinct character is slowly going. I sometimes wonder if it wasn't for Historic Savannah and SCAD if we would even resemble the city that swayed Sherman away from the torches anymore.

A guy just asked me if I wanted to go out with him for dinner and now this thread is scaring me (and I posted two bad stories of my own here). I am pretty sure he wants to have sex afterwords too, and I am on the fence about it (kinda not my type). To top it off, I have stitches and steri strips on my forehead & it all kinda hurts (had something non-cancerous taken off). We already met, but I didn't have the stitches & it's gonna be either stitches or a funky scar for the next month, roughly. And it hurts! I have had all kinds of injuries / surgery but stitches in the forehead are a bitch.

If you see this post later, I'm the one! "DL, this guy showed up w/ some gash on his forehead and then he couldn't get hard later!"

You don't have to fuck anyone you don't want to fuck.

Agree with R131. Thank God all that shit is ancient history--the bitter memories of eldergays like R90 and R132. These days young guys are out to their female friends, and if they hang out its because they like each other as friends, not because some closet case needs a human shield.

Wow! R125 What a story... Aw R138, maybe it won't be so bad after all :)

R138 – If you want to ever see this guy again, WAIT for your first date until the steri-strips are removed. First impressions are everything.

R138 You're not a doctor, are you?

[quote] Then, we kinda got back to making out a little, but this time - he put his full mouth on my nostril and BLEW AIR IN my nose. I jumped back and was like, what the fuck?? He just laughed.

This made me laugh out loud.

I had been seeing this guy casually for a few months even though I hated going to his house. He had two huge Afghan dogs that were dumb as shit. They didn't even know their own names. But the guy was nice and we had a lot in common. Good sex too.

So he tells me he had a surprise on Valentine's Day for me. I go to his house and we get in the car and drive out to some middle-brow very-straight restaurant in a very non-gay part of town. He makes a big show of giving me a rose in the middle of the joint with the horrified frauen and schlubs looking on. This was mid 80's. Being gay in a straight restaurant was not done. It was humiliating.

I stopped seeing him shortly after but now think he was very brave and sort of ahead of his time. Wonder what became of him?

That is a very sweet and sad story, R145.

Most definitely not the one I'm currently on. A no-fuck cont from Sat nite sleepover. Dude went from shattering my heart and confidence several weeks ago,(he told me he's not into Colored guys), to preparing breakfast, as I walk/bond his too cute pooch. A mixed breed, (like me), in unfamiliar neighborhood. Not rushing to fuck, making this beautiful day/experience possible. Divorced, husky hunk. Shy, awkward and sincere in a boyishly handsome, defenses devastating, cowboy boots (hat?) wearing masculine package.. Day of leisurely, no pressure, getting to know object of my affection... Plans to veg out, boy toys (not the sex kind) videogames, remote cars, copters.. Riding on back of his bike. No pressure for fucking.. He's kinda newbie.. Don't care if no sex until.... Until. Cowboy is husky-hot, self assured, reassuring. They still make em like him? Gotta go. No rushing, despite vibes. Relaxed. Hope he's not a..... Repub..His sensual, skilled kissing doing a number.

r147, wtf

I liked R147s story.

(He actually said "Colored guys?")

Wow.

R149 – It's better than calling them coons.

After a nice enough lunch with a beautiful Italian guy I had met while walking the dog, we went back to his apartment. We were making out as we entered the apartment, so I was quite oblivious as to the decor. We were rolling around on the bed when I started noticing homemade graffiti as well as many obvious angry punch holes in the walls. He had used a magic marker to scribble such gems as, "Kill all ni--ers" and "Die Jews die!" He had also made a few childishly scrawled swastikas. Thankfully we had not started fucking yet. I freaked out and ran right out of there. He lived on my street about a half block away, so I had the joy of bumping into him occasionally. My strategy was to pretend he was invisible, and I was very glad to move across town later that year.

If that's a true story, I hope you called the FBI about him.

We met for a drink at a neighborhood bar and we were hitting it off. I ran in to an acquaintance and in the midst of chatting, my date starts blatantly flirting with my acquaintance. His arrogance became quickly apparent, so I excused myself to go to the restroom but just left the bar instead.

We met online and met up about 3 days later for a movie. We were 30 minutes early so we walked around the theater halls a bit checking out the coming attractions and making small talk. We started talking style, more specifically watches. He proceeded to pull out 7 faux designer watches and tried to pressure me into buying not one, but two. I was mortified. Wtf. I suggested I buy a popcorn while he got the seats. I hightailed it the fuck out of there.

Damn R154, that's totally fucked up. Guess we all have to kiss a couple of frogs first huh?

General Sherman was used to "Sack of Tomatoes" Sacramento, so he wouldn't car.e

Does anyone remember the story from an old related thread that involved a hookup where the guy showed up in his car with Surprise! crippled/paralyzed legs and a request that the poster wear some dirty, previously worn women's shoes? If I remember correctly, the previously undisclosed disabled legs were considered less of an issue than being asked to don the obviously used shoes. That's where he drew the line.

R157 Well, good for him--why rule out someone who is physically disabled simply for that reason. My first partner had dystonia, but was brilliant, quite handsome, and could be good in bed. He turned out to be an asshole, but not, I think, because of his disability--I think he would have been just as much an asshole had he been undisabled.

The women's shoes would be a killer for me. Chacun a son gout.

I went on a date with a pompous douche who was very proud of his Cornell degree. So I lied and told him I went to Yale and Cambridge. (I went to Brown and the Sorbonne.) Then he told me about how wonderful his condo in Stowe was, so I told him about my chalet in St. Moritz. (I visit friends' chalets at lessor stations.) Then he told me he was HIV+ and I said Ok well I'm poz and have dick and ass herpes, anal warts, and Hep C. The nerve of some people!

R158 It was the lack of disclosure that was the problem, not the disability itself. The poster seemed like a fairly good sport and might have still been amenable, but the secondhand shoes (and rope) killed it for him. It was an anonymous hookup where one party misrepresented himself on several counts either deliberately or by omission. I thought it qualified for a Worst Date mention.

From the Scary Hookups thread of 2014:

[quote]Agreed to meet in a local parking lot after chatting. Got there and decided he was decent looking based on the view from my car and proceeded to get into his front seat. Upon opening the door, I realized he had muscular dystrophy and his legs were way undersized. Then, I could see that by my feet were very large pair of black pumps and a rope. He asked me to model the shoes and half jokingly asked if I would have to be tied up to put them on. I politely told him that I didn't try on used shoes and left the car feeling gross. I thought it would be maybe a quick blow job or fuck. He never mentioned his legs, which I found rude. Who springs that on a person? I will never know if they bothered me or not because the heels, rope and conversation totally freaked me out.

R159 Love it!

My big mistake was agreeing to go to a County fair on a first date. He brought his sister along. She tactfully split after he'd dragged me to the poultry building to show me the little ferris wheel for chicks to ride in. No ferris wheel, he threw a fit and demanded to speak to the superintendent. Next to the demonstration of steam-powered old machinery, where he attempted to prove to the collectors of that stuff that he knew more about them than they did.

After that we had to go see the tractors. All of them. They filled an entire field. So...he took me down every single row, stopped at every single tractor, and told me about each and every one in excrutiating detail. This took, oh - about two and a half bleeping hours.

After that, we HAD to watch the Tractor Parade, where every single one of those damned tractors were slowly driven through the grounds. He took a photograph of every single tractor.

As the parade's in progress, he suddenly bolted to his feet and dashed off without saying a word. I'm left sitting there thinking, wow, I've never actually had anyone RUN AWAY from me on a date before. He's nowhere in sight. I decided to sit tight for a bit and see what, if anything, would happen next.

The tractors continue to pass. I'm bored. And then...

Omigod...there he is, IN THE PARADE! He's perched on a manure spreader being pulled by a tractor. He played it real cool. He rode past without acknowledging me.

Once his ride got to the end of the parade route, he came back.

Shortly thereafter it commenced to pour. That was the best part of the date since I was able to beg off using the weather as an excuse.

God help me...

That's truly odd, r162. Sorry. Where are you living that a county fair is an acceptable first date?

God R162, why didn't you ditch him when he ran off to join the parade?

R163, flyover country. Minnesota, to be precise. I was willing to stick it out longer than I should've because they were going to stage a reenactment of the James Gang's failed Northfield bank robbery. All these hot guys in cowboy garb and city slicker duds were walking around and acting in character in the lead up to the attempted bank heist. But I left before it took place.

And to this day, my friends and family think it's hilarious to point out tractors.

The bad date that ends up being IN the horrible tractor parade does indeed sound like a great movie scene. I can so see it, though I might rewrite it so that he smiles and waves at you while you cringe as all eyes look at you. Especially at a straight rodeo.

Minnesota guys are exceptionally hot, intelligent, and masculine. Had an ex fuck buddy from Minnesota back in 1999-2001, great guy. The sex was friggin amazing. We'd trade roadtrip visits...he was so worth the long distance hook-up thing. He relocated to Seattle for a job. Outta' my fair share of BF/FB's, Minnesota buddy still stands out for me. Harvey Wallbanger in the flesh.

R162 for the win.

Please excuse me if this is a duplicate...

My friend and I went for a ride in the country. I thought it was a random destination, but we just happened to wind up near his folks house, so we popped in and I met his Dad. I was about 10 years older than my friend and felt odd about it. Nothing terrible happened, but that was awkward.

[quote]So I lied and told him I went to Yale and Cambridge. (I went to Brown and the Sorbonne.)

This is the funniest lie.

R162 Oh.my.God R166 YES!

R166- And it could be called "My Big Fat Straight Rodeo!"

r147 say hi to your doorman for me! and yes, r162 FTW. imagine the skid marks had you stuck it out!

Guy I met on Grindr a few years ago, lived near a small college town. Invited me over for dinner, with a perplexing "she's cooking!"

He took me to an older lady's house, sweet widow and indeed a good cook, but he ran a home decoration store and had me help unload his SUV, move her decorations into place and sit in the kitchen wrapping twist ties around fake flowers for some wreath or something.

The pasta was good, so there's that.

When I was in my early 30s I had some horrible first dates. The worst one was a movie date. He didn't talk at the movie or on the way to drop me off back at my place. To say we didn't hit it off would be correct. He never told me anything about himself. I have no idea what he did for a living, how old he was, or any interests he had. My stomach was in knots I was so in uncomfortable. When he pulled into the driveway his car was moving fast. And his car grounded out a bit...it jarred me and I farted in his car.

I said goodnight and went inside...never heard from him again which was not a problem for me.

The second worst date started out fantastic. I picked the guy (a different guy from the previous story) up and took him to dinner. After dinner we sat in my car in his driveway and talked and made out for a long time. He suddenly stopped kissing me, told me what a great kisser I was but that I reminded him of his very passionate ex and he wanted to go inside his house and just go to sleep. He said he would see me later. I said ok and reached over to grab his knee. I squeezed it and he screamed in pain and got out of the car and limped into the house...I had no idea I was that strong in my hands. He never called again.

Can't remember either of their names. Just goes to show you that what seems important today can be very trivial tomorrow!

The worst dates are the ones where STIs are revealed somehow mid-fuck.

The dates I've had with drag queens were lousy

"He will never be welcomed at the Telfair Ball, "

Ethel Merman.

Went out with a younger guy who was on his phone the entire time. I'm not even ancient, but I can't talk to someone distracted by his phone. It's annoying/rude. Shame because he was cute too.

went out with a guy who just came out to his wife and was moving into his new apartment that weekend. he didn't mention the wife - or his two kids - until we were at dinner. then he called me 37 times the next day. i didn't go out with him again.

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